An Old and New World
by Lens of Sanity
Summary: Harry meets Bella and Sirius during the Azkaban Prologue… He comes out a little brassed off, and a whole lot apathetic… Then there was the Goblet and the Tournament… By fifth year he's a whole different animal… Heh well, the world wants its Hero…
1. Freedom and Other Boring Things

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Prologue: All Blue Skies

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Harry Potter found himself looking down a familiar length of Holly, one he knew to be exactly eleven inches in length, and containing a single feather once belonging to a Phoenix named Fawkes. Things really could have been going better, but then again, this was pretty standard as far as his life went, par for the course and all that jazz. What was being tied to a chair with his own Ollivander wand pointed at him, when stacked up to all the other enjoyable goings on that had happened over the past few years, hell the whole of his life?

This all started when Harry was a baby, fifteen months old, when a man came to kill him. No, that's too far back, so it's best to just give the short version. He found out he was a wizard, made two good friends, took down a troll, rescued a dragon, killed his Defence Professor, flew a car into an animated tree, battled a swarm of Acromantula, and at the end of his second year went to the rescue of his friends younger sister.

There, we are more or less up to date on things which are important.

He went to rescue his friend's younger sister. Not that he knew the girl very well you understand, if asked Harry would find himself hard pressed to pin down a single conversation he'd had with her, but from comments made he'd come to the conclusion that she was... sweet. You know the type, all freckles and shy smiles, would do no harm to anyone.

Nevertheless she was a friend's sister, so in the finest traditions of storytelling everywhere he went on one of those classic princess rescues. There was a creepy dungeon, a scary monster, and a damsel in distress. Not to mention the magical sword. So he grabbed the sword, shouted 'Aaaarg!' and ended up slaying the beast; it was a large venomous snake known as a Basilisk, which could kill with a single glance, dead away just as lethal as the famous green light.

Given that Harry was only twelve at the time, you can see how this might have been a little tough, so he blacked out once the threat was taken care of. Coming to Harry noticed that the young girl with the freckles and shy smiles was gone, the beast was still dead, and the only thing left besides the magical sword was a small book, which he took with him and made his way back to civilisation.

Things went downhill for the twelve year old Harry Potter, as an evil wizard of aristocratic bearing was among the authority figures he sought out. The man denounced him for dispatching the young girl and being in possession of such an obviously evil object. For the small book was once created by a far _more _evil wizard long ago, one who was, like Harry, in possession of a magical trait which allows the user to converse with serpents.

Proclaim his innocence any way he would Harry was not believed, and even the words of the aged and wise Headmaster are overruled, leaving Harry alone without the aid of his friends or allies. Under the guise of public safety he was locked away where he could do no harm, to the castle fortress of Azkaban. No you may ask, he was but a child, and this was so. It was for this reason he was placed in the minimum security section, far from those nightmarish creatures of cloak and withered flesh.

Between two others he was placed, two who would eventually become friends, who had known him his whole life, one by reputation, and one by blood. The man was an evil mass murderer and an old friend of his parents, the woman a feared dark witch who was every bit as insane. Yet with no other company they talked and they played, they taught many things, for you see Harry was quite popular in his castle prison.

Harry learned in the early days that when the foul creatures came close he was made to see all the worst things in life, feel like there was nothing worth living for, and that no hope was there to be had. He discovered through luck that if he forced happiness through his magic, a wonderful mist would overcome him and his friends. The bad things were still there, of that you cannot doubt, but with the mist they could touch him only a little.

So they talked and laughed and played many games. Harry learned the evil wizard of aristocratic bearing had many stories both funny and embarrassing which the woman could enlighten him too, and the man could reveal the past of his parents, misdeeds and adventures which keep him laughing and fascinated.

Long days turned to weeks, and months were passed in this way, until the aged wise headmaster came and took Harry away, and with his new learned stories the man too was freed. For you see the real traitor was not him but a rat. A rat masquerading as a man who was shaped like a rat. It was quite confusing but it worked, and the rat was put in the castle in place of the man, and the man was set free in place of the rat, the rat who was shaped like a man. So now free of the creatures and castle Azkaban, the man and the boy spent time in the house of his old evil family, the boy alone feeling sorrow for leaving his other friend there to suffer.

A few weeks more and Harry would be back where it stated, the castle of his school, and his old abandoned friends. Now fourth year was coming and Harry Potter had changed.

Harry Potter had changed, but the world was the same.

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Lens of Sanity  
You've read it a million times, Harry goes to Azkaban, meets Sirius and Bellatrix, comes out different, and the story goes from there. I got it all out of the way before even the first chapter, so that we can get on with the parts of the story you might _not_ have seen (any)(every)where else. The style will change to standard third person from here on out.

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A/N: My writing has gone from _bad_ to marginally _less bad _while posing this, so it has a few grammar and tense problems due to early ignorance on my part. I now know why betas are so important. Anyway, with that in mind our story begins…

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter One: Freedom and Other Boring Things

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"Sirius we need to get her out of there!" The two of them were searching though the wreckage of the once imposing #12 Grimmauld Place for as many spare wands as they could find.

"I've told you before Harry, she's evil, pure evil. Why won't you listen to me?" Sirius Black still looked like death warmed over, barely warmed over at that, he'd been in Azkaban prison for about a third of his life, circumstances like that don't do good things to a person.

Harry rolled his eyes "And I've told you a million times, that's what everyone said about _you_!" He paused to think a moment "And _me_ come to think of it. You should not be so quick to judge people Sirius."

Following a second attack from a swarm of pissed off Doxies they decided that they had found all the wands they were going to "It is not the same. You and I _were_ actually innocent. She isn't innocent. Not at all, she even admitted guilt at her trial for Merlin's sake."

"So did you when they arrested you." Harry reminded him as he placed the eight wands on a table in the front room.

Placing the dozen he'd found Sirius let out a frustrated "Aarg!" and looked down at what they had managed to scrounge together. Twenty was not bad at all, way more than he was expecting at any rate. "It's not the same, I was feeling guilty for your parents-, bah, I've explained this fifty times already, it's just not the same at all."

Rolling his eyes Harry started going through the wands one by one, stacking the friendly ones in one pile and the hostile ones in another. "I wish I could just go to Ollivander's."

Seizing hold of a change in topic the dog animagus jumped in with "Yeah, I know, but it was one of the things Albus had to give up in order to get you out, I'll be heading there soon to get a new wand, but you can't until you become of age, sorry. I suppose we could try one of the stores down Knockturn Alley but I'd bet anything that Lucius has already made sure you can't get one from there either, he sure worked hard enough to keep you wandless and out of Hogwarts."

"Are you sure my wand was really gone, couldn't someone have taken it when I was unconscious or something?" The friendly pile held only four, not much to choose from, and none of them came close to his old phoenix wand.

Sirius thought about it even though the question had been asked a thousand times "I don't see how, it just wasn't anywhere when they looked for it. You'll just have to make do with one of those, at least for now." Sirius watched as Harry decided on a fairly standard pale stick about a foot long.

"This one is the best. Do you know anything about it?"

"That was my Grandfather Pollux Black's wand, Elm and Dragon Heartstring. From a Horntail if I remember, he used to boast about it when he was deep into his wine, and about how he used it to earn his Order of Merlin."

Harry nodded at this and, knowing he couldn't be tracked by the Ministry under the wards of the House of Black, did a simple measuring charm learned from Professor Flitwick in second year "Twelve and a quarter inches. Elm you said?" he nodded "Yeah, it's not as good as my old one but it's not that bad either." Harry lost himself in thought for a moment, before he snapped back to awareness. "So how are we going to get her out of there Sirius?"

He just groaned.

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Finishing off some kind of boiled sausage which Harry had decided never to eat again in his life -seriously Azkaban food was tastier and probably more nutritious- he reluctantly changed the subject and asked "Are you going to teach me that totally impressive piece of magic you've been blathering on about for months or what?" He'd finally shelved the discussion of getting his friend out of prison, for now at least.

"The Patronus, yeah we'll do it now, it won't take long saying as you know the hard part anyway." Sirius had been amazed when Harry first produced a Patronus Mist, as he'd done it without a wand, no _wand_ for Merlin's sake, if he had not felt the effects with his own senses he'd have said that it was impossible. "Follow these wand motions, but don't do anything until I say you've got it exactly right."

For the next fifteen minutes Harry obliged, refraining from making any sarcastic comments, until he was up to his instructor's needlessly high standards. "So, now what?" He said irritably.

"Describe how you produce the mist." Describe it for the hundredth time he meant.

"You just come up with the happiest feeling you can, and then kind of _force_ it out into the universe. Simply _make_ it happen, I don't know, I don't really think about it, I just _do_ it."

Sirius got the same look he always did at this explanation but eventually conceded. "On the last 'brandishing' motion, force that feeling through your wand and out of the tip, easy." Harry locked eyes with him for the longest time, eventually he just sighed and got on with it.

"_Expecto Patronum"_

The familiar silvery mist coalesced into the well defined shape of a powerful and majestic animal. Harry got up from where he was lounging and peered closely at it, ignoring his companion's startled expression. 'It's not like it was any harder _with _a wand, I don't get why he's so surprised.'

"You know Padfoot, I think you're right, this is kind of cool. Flashy magic, like what you'd use when you want to be all impressive at people" The green eyed boy said this watching the construct pad powerfully about the room with intelligence as it sought out threats. Eventually he let the silvery image dissolve. "What do you want to do now? …Well?"

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised you got it first time…" Though for some reason he clearly _was _surprised "…do today? Whatever you want, you're going back to Hogwarts in a few days do you think you're ready?"

"No idea, should I not be in my third year though? I don't see why they'd advance me when I didn't do a single third year class."

"That was Albus again, I think he wants you in the same class as your old friends" Harry's face twisted at that.

'Who the hell cares? It's not like they matter anymore, where were they when I was in Azkaban, safe and sound that's where, good luck to them and good riddance. Hermione is alive, fine, that's all I wanted to know. With today's paper once again proclaiming me released on a technicality, and that I'm a dangerous threat to society I can just see how much fun my school chums are going to be. I'm the intimidating, blood splattered Heir of Slytherin remember; fear me bwahahahaha. Maybe I should get robes with Dark Lord stencilled on the back, really play up my evil side.'

Harry shook himself from his internal monologue and commented "Whatever Padfoot, how about you teach me some wandwork so I'm not as rusty when I get there, there's no doubt I'll have to defend myself from pretty much everyone at one point or another this year."

Picking up one of the spare wands he started on Precision Casting, showing the recently turned fourteen year old a simple shield to start "Remember focus on accurate motions, and make them as tiny as possible so your opponent can't easily tell what you're casting."

They spent most of the day this way. It was not all that different from prison really.

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A smile broke across Harry's face as a fondly remembered snowy owl swooped into the kitchen, -the grumbling house-elf was kicked out quite tersely earlier- and attached to her talons was a parchment which was etched in a precise hand.

"Hey Hedwig, did you miss me as much as I missed you?" he asked throwing the unopened letter into the Victorian style oven.

She nibbled his ear affectionately for a long while as he stroked her feathers gently, with all the love in the world. The animagus walked in on this scene and stood there looking strangely at them for a few seconds before blurting "We should get your school supplies today Harry."

"I honestly can't be bothered, get the elf to do it." Sirius just looked at the kid like he was crazy. "…yeah, that's probably a bad idea now I say it out loud." 'Everything would come back covered in dirt or something, no, Muggle blood. Absolutely everything would be soaked in the life's blood of a thousand Muggles if that mental elf had his way.'

"Get ready right now. I might even buy you a broom once we're done."

"Don't bother, I got most of my stuff back so I still have my Nimbus 2000, y'know I'm pretty sure Professor McGonagall had a lot more to do with my getting that broom than she let on." Harry said returning with a cloak.

"Probably, she was always nuts about Griffindor winning the Cup when I went to Hogwarts." They flooed to the Leaky Cauldron and Harry fell flat on his arse much to the amusement of the older man.

"Laugh it up, I'm the only one with a wand remember." He tried for an intimidating glare but it failed utterly. "Screw it, go to Ollivander's on your own I'll sort myself out, I could use a break from all of your annoying cheerfulness."

Other than the occasionally fearful looks thrown at him Harry got his shopping done with very little drama. That was until he'd just finished paying for all the books on this year's list and as he was about to exit Flourish & Blotts. He heard the easily recognisable twang of the junior Malfoy interrupt his musings "Well if it isn't-,"

Fist slamming into the side of the blonde's neck and a hand roughly taking hold of his collar, Draco Malfoy's doubtlessly callous comment was cut short. With what was sure to be a surprised look gracing his face, Draco found himself unceremoniously tossed through the plate glass window, and out into the middle of Diagon Alley.

Spying his godfather Harry carelessly pushed past the boy's two stupefied bodyguards and simply stated "All done here, ready to head home?" as he stepped over the groaning teenager.

Sirius looked at the scene and obviously came to the conclusion that its funny as hell because he said nothing, instead taking the broken glass and lacerated boy in stride "Sounds good to me, I _was_ going to stop for lunch at the Cauldron but now I've kind of lost my appetite."

"I'll cook this time, you're terrible at it, and I'm sure the elf is trying to _accidentally _poison us… Hmm, can you eat house-elf Sirius? That would kill two birds with one stone." They chatted on about nothing really and slowly made their way back to the floo.

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The day of September the First dawned as it did every year, bright eyed children eager to get on with the new year's learning, -or not learning depending on the student- at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry rolled over and abruptly fell back to sleep. Eventually he was awoken again at five to ten and commanded to shower and be ready to Side-Along to the Express.

"Why don't we just crack to Hogsmeade? That way I won't have to spend seven friggin' hours on a train full of schoolsheep."

"Stop your bitching Harry and get ready, I'll see you this weekend if you can find that secret entrance I told you about. Oh, and remember to get a Prophet today, you'll like the headline." Harry Potter was a very typical teenage schoolchild in that he really didn't want to go to school following his summer holidays, though the reasons he didn't want to go back to school were slightly more peculiar.

Harry was famous, world renowned even, known the world over for the deeds of his youth. The next Dark Lord, people cower in fear at the mere mention of his name, did you know he once defeated the most powerful dark wizard in history, when he was a _baby?_ A _baby_ for goodness sake, he must have the power to turn continents to dust, and scatter the armies of all those opposing him with nothing but the wave of his hand.

Bah.

Two years ago, he was a hero, a vaunted world saviour type. The kind of child who you hope will grow up to marry your daughter. Then it's bam; who murdered and then ate a fellow student, and oh look, who offed poor stuttering Quirrelmort. Prison and then hatred.

Finishing the shower and brushing his teeth Harry decided that there had to be a better way of cleaning ones teeth than a fool Muggle toothbrush, and once downstairs he asked as much to his godfather "Yeah, the Incantation is _'Integrum Restituere'_ but I don't know the wand motions so just overpower it until it works."

"Did you not say that the wandmotion was important for efficiency and power spell casting?" He asked catching the older man out on his ridiculous and contradictory advice.

"You're not going to be brushing your teeth in a duel, just do it and stop whinging." Sticking the Horntail wand in his mouth he tried it and found it to be surprisingly effective. Hmm. "Shrink your gear and let's get you out of here, the Hogwarts Express leaves in less than ten minutes."

He grumpily obeyed, and a quarter of an hour later Harry was unable to find an empty compartment. Spying one with a single third year, and three second years one of whom was likely the brother of the older, he crashed open the door glaring with as much malevolence as his fourteen year old frame could manage "What are you all doing in _my_ compartment…" he growled in a tone he hoped was menacing. "…Get the hell out of here, and is that a Prophet? I'll take that too." The onetime saviour commanded obedience, finger pointed at the door.

They predictably scuttled out and he placed the locking spell _'Colloportus'_ he'd learned a while back, and a privacy charm Sirius had said was invented by Snape of all people _'Muffliato,' _then set about studiously ignoring anything that was happening out in the hall.

Dark Lord Potter Senselessly Attacks Innocent Schoolboy  
by Rita Skeeter

'Oh this is going to be a winner, thanks a bunch Padfoot, really a good way to cheer me up at the start of term. I wish Bella was here, she's always on my side.'

Once he got through the article, which was about how a brave Draco Malfoy had nobly stood up to a deranged lunatic and somehow chased him off with only minor injuries, he caught a bushy-haired brunette in his peripheral vision. She was hammering on the door, but the privacy ward was keeping it silent and he could pretend not to notice as he turned to gaze out of the window.

She didn't go away for over an hour.

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It was considerably more difficult to ignore his one time friend at the feast saying as she sat disturbingly close, but in a brilliant flash of foresight Harry had hit her with a _'Muffliato'_ before she got close, so all he could here when she made any noise was a kind of unidentified buzzing.

Other than the occasional shake, and the oh-so-familiar looks of fear pointed in his direction, Harry found the feast surprisingly good. The food for one was the best he'd had since, well being at Hogwarts at the end of his second year.

Madam Pomfrey, Hogwarts school nurse and Headmaster Dumbledore's private physician, had been giving nutrient and stabilising potions to both Sirius and Harry since they got out of Azkaban, and he found himself enjoying one with his meal. The nutrient potions were actually quite tasty, an oddity as most potions seemed to taste like they'd been brewed in a running sock. Harry had made sure to learn a glamour which would make what he was drinking appear the same colour and consistency as human blood, but that in no way contributed to the looks of fear on the students faces.

Listening to the old man's announcement Harry found himself interested in this upcoming tournament, even if he was disappointed that there would be no Quidditch this year. It had been far too long since he had last flown.

Then a horrible thought occurred to him. "Bloody fucking hell, I'm going to be forced into this damn thing aren't I!" It was _not_ a question. This world did not exist so that Harry Potter could simply sit back and _watch_ a horrendously dangerous tournament such as was described _without _somehow having to be in it.

Later that night, through the charmed mirrors, Sirius Black reluctantly agreed with this assessment.

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Sirius had yelled at the Headmaster many times in the weeks between the welcoming feast and Halloween, each time met with assurances that there was no danger, cementing in both their minds that this whole thing was simply going to be inevitable.

Harry was forced to step up from simply ignoring the silent brunette, to ignoring her and also hitting her regularly with _'Aculeus'_ the mild Stinging Hex. She was for some reason very persistent. The redhead Harry once thought of as a friend was much more peaceable, saying as how he had given up after his first attempt.

Over the past two months Harry had become much more accomplished at sneaking about, he had spent time with his godfather regularly, and knew his way around the Restricted Section probably as well as any save the Librarian herself. The two newly released prisoners were taking no chances, people were trying to kill them and the sensible thing to do is to be vigilant.

In the words of Harry's new, and most hated Professor _'Constant Vigilance.'_ Honestly the axe crazy sociopath seemed to take these Dark Lord rumours ten times more seriously than even the most paranoid of the sheep. Harry throwing off his Imperius Curse like it was nothing probably did him more harm than good in that respect.

"Still, being immune to the Imperius for life is worth being turned into a ferret for twenty seconds, fucking Malfoy he started it, how is it _my _fault if I was forced to be the one who ended it?" He muttered under his breath.

"Did you say something Harry?" The bushy haired fifteen year old asked in a tone which was approaching zealous levels.

Harry ignored her with a practised ease, instead focusing on the hopefuls in the hall. He ignored the Hogwarts students for the obvious reason, it was clear to him now that none of them can _possibly _be chosen. There were only three slots in the Triwizard Tournament and as he was in Hogwarts robes, this meant it was only down to the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students who could conceivably be picked by this Goblet of Fire.

There were a few in Durmstrang robes who might get a crack at it, there was a student named Athena Manos who Sirius mentioned was probably the granddaughter to some big nuts Greek gangster/politician, and on further investigation turned out to be a shoe in for the Duelling Circuit next season.

Victor Krum was a big name too, he was in the World Cup which was apparently held in England this year. He caught the Snitch and won Bulgaria the Title. From the sounds of it he was the _only_ player on their team too, so that meant that even though Bulgaria only won by twenty points, it was Krum alone who did it.

It was hard to say much about the French contingent, not because they were incompetent or anything, just that they had this Veela girl sitting in the middle of their group, and it's laughably pathetic how everyone was fawning over her meagre little aura. Harry really hoped that someone _other _than her got chosen, even though he couldn't come up with anything about the other classmates, he just really didn't want to have to deal with a conceited bitch.

"Representing Durmstrang; Victor Krum." There were cheers, and Harry clapped along uncharacteristically, he wanted to see how Krum did off a broom as much as everyone else.

"Representing Hogwarts;…" Here it comes 'Harry Potter,' yes, yes, we all know by now I'm in this, just get on with it. "…Angelina Johnson."

'WHAT? Oh thank the fucking gods for that one. I'm just paranoid, I'll take _just_ being paranoid over having to get killed in this fool contest. "Representing Beauxbatons; Fleur Delacour" Harry clapped exactly as enthusiastically as the other aura-addled morons, it was _so _worth it. 'I'll take an annoying champion in the face of such good news.'

Yeah, Harry wasn't happy about what happened next.

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	2. Fight for Your Supper

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Hey; I got a suicidally bad review and kinda decided on posting a warning. I think of all the FanFics I've read as 'Extended Universe' so if you've read **'The Dark Lord's Equal'** you know what I mean, and you know people like _JBern_, _Joe6991_, _Less Wrong_, and _Nonjon_ have written stories I think of as being just as canon as JKR's stuff

I've neglected doing the quotes all the way through, but if you recognise something then know that I take **no credit** for coming up with **anything** at all! Watch out for the cliffy at the end of CH5, and note that the story starts going completely off the rails by CH11

It's meant to be **fun** so enjoy :D  
13/09/11

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter Two: Fight for Your Supper

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Stomping into the reception area Harry completely ignored everybody and slumped to the floor, lounging insolently against a wall. Eventually Albus and the other Heads of School whisked their way into the room "We fucking told you this would happen!" Harry exploded before anyone could say a word "Do not worry yourself overmuch Harry, we have taken the utmost caution to prevent those underage from being entered into the contest. Does that ring any fucking bells you crazy old bastard!"

Harry didn't even bother getting up off the floor when he said this, and the Headmaster eventually voiced a comment "I take it you did _not_ in fact enter yourself in the tournament?" Not even dignifying this with a response he simply folded his hands across this stomach to prevent them going for his wand, and then let the room go about their bickering.

Who would have guessed, it was a magically binding contract which Harry _had_ to honour, even if he was not the one who entered himself. It was at times like this that he wistfully thought about _actually_ going evil and taking over the world. If he were Britain's evil overlord then people would have to enter _themselves _into magically binding contracts, it would be illegal to enter other people. That would be his first change to the established order come the Day.

Eventually Harry found himself pushing his way through Griffindor common room, and was once more forced to hex Hermione as he made his way up to his dormitory. Throwing up all of the basic security spells he knew around his bed Harry was pleased about only one thing, he'd managed to land a fairly slamming comment on the French girl regarding her crappy accent. He fell asleep with an uncharacteristic smile gracing his face.

"_Petrificus Totalus, Mobilicorpus"_

'And I was having such a nice morning too.' Harry was on his way back from breakfast when an all too recognizable voice petrified him and began levitating him into an empty classroom. "I am sick of you constantly hexing me Harry, we are going to talk, and you are going to listen." Harry wondered briefly how he was meant to talk when all he could move was his eyes, but this thought was distant and seemed unimportant.

She took his murderous glare as an urging to continue "I have no idea what happened, all I remember was coming back from the library and seeing the yellow eyes of the Basilisk in Penelope Clearwater's hand mirror. Then I wake up, you are in Azkaban, Ginny Weasley is supposedly dead, and they won't let me even visit you. Then you come back to school and won't talk to anyone…" See seemed like she was on the verge of tears "…and I _try_ to talk to you but you ignore me, and you keep hexing me. What's the problem Harry?"

The brunette released the petrifaction and he just sat there quietly for a while. "What do you want Hermione, you are alive and free, what do you want from me?" These were pretty much the first words Harry had spoken to any student since beginning the term, and the Muggleborn girl found herself at a loss as to what to say.

Noting she had nothing Harry turned to leave "I thought we were friends" she wailed desperately.

"What did you do last year Hermione?" She just looked at him "You were here at school, like a normal kid sitting her lessons. I was sandwiched between two lunatics and forced to spend an inordinate amount of time in the company of Dementors. I do not _want _to talk to any of you little students, I just do not _care_ anymore."

As he reached the door she injected "You need help in this tournament, I don't believe for one minute you entered yourself no matter what Angelina's friends have been saying."

"Huh, yeah great sure I need help Hermione. You got any ideas?"

Surprisingly she instantly answered "Yes, I do have one."

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Three hours later Harry woke in the Hospital wing "Urg, what the hell happened" he muttered groggily as the memories crashed back. 'Okay, so I was kidnapped by Hermione, and she came up with a really good idea to help me in the tournament, then I went to Potions. Oh, that's right, stupid friggin' potions Professor trying to dig around in my head.'

When you're surrounded by fear inducing soul suckers around the clock you need as many ways to take the edge off as possible, and try as he might Harry couldn't feasibly keep up the Patronus Mist all day every day. So his friend Bellatrix taught him some of the basics to an obscure branch of magic known as Occlumency. A branch used for shielding one's mind as well as the controlling of all thoughts and emotions.

Funnily enough it was Lucius Malfoy's insistence that Harry already _had_ this skill which allowed him to prevent the use of Veritaserum in an interrogation. Apparently an Occlumens can pointedly not know the truth when questioned, thereby making the truth serum useless against a skilled practitioner.

So when ugly greasy Potions Master tried poking around in his mind, Harry knew enough to figure out exactly what was happening. A _'Levicorpus' _and a _'Pello,'_ had the pathetic little man lifted into the air by his ankle and Banished, flying him directly into his potion cupboard, incidentally covering him in an array of different cocktails.

He was less than pleased and there was a bit of an impromptu duel, one which Harry lost very quickly and very badly, with him ending up here in the Hospital Wing. "I strongly dislike that man" he flatly stated to himself.

Madam Pomfrey heard him and bustled over muttering imprecations under her breath as she gave the black haired boy the once over. Headmaster Dumbledore was in the room looking all benign and grandfatherly by the time she finished. "He attacked me with class three dark magic, I was defending myself." He fired off an explanation before the old man could comment. Striking first, it was worth a shot.

Dumbledore paused, taking the time to change his tactic "Indeed, our esteemed Potions Master was far from thrilled regarding what he called an 'unprovoked attack,' and after some further questioning I found myself intrigued as to how you came to understand the art of Occlumency."

"Bella taught me a little, it helps with Dementors, not much but something is better than nothing. I didn't know Snape went around using Legilimency of schoolchildren though, so I'm going to have to learn the more advanced stuff on top of any preparation I'm going to have to do for this stupid competition."

He pondered the boy's words for some time, unsure about hearing confirmation of Sirius Black's concerns regarding Harry's relationship with Mrs. LeStrange. "You cannot go around attacking Professors without reprimand Harry. You will have to serve a public detention for no other reason than to prevent others from mimicking your example."

"I just told you it was in self defence. I won't be punished for your man's actions and I am fully prepared to go to the MLE if necessary." He met the old man's eyes hoping to convey the truth of his statement. Harry knew they probably wouldn't listen to a budding Dark Lord's concerns, and wanted to make clear that he would raise a stink doing it anyway. "Did _you_ know he was using Dark Arts on minors?"

The Headmaster took a deep breath but did not respond, so Harry changed the topic "I talked to Hermione earlier. You gave her a device she called a Time-Turner so she could throw herself into her studies last year, I would like you to get me one so I can prepare for the upcoming competition."

The wheels were clearly turning in his head and he responded with "What would you do with such a device?" though Harry would bet good money that he had figured it out already.

"I want to go on thirty hour days. I'll rope Sirius into helping. Probably hack off my useless classes as well so I have more time to train. You know as well as I do that this whole thing is an elaborate attempt to kill me in some spectacular fashion, I would like to be as prepared as I can possibly be."

"Doing such a thing will age you prematurely…" He trailed off at the look on the younger's face, one which stated clearly that actually _living_ long enough for that to become a problem was unlikely in the extreme "…I will think on your request, Harry."

As they parted ways each was well aware that the concerns of neither had been dealt with during their discussion.

','

Heading for the seventh floor and what Padfoot called the Come and Go Room, which the Marauders had discovered some time during their sixth year, Harry passed two of the Slytherin girls who were in his year. They give him a look which he failed to recognise and he passed by them pushing the confusion from his mind.

Dumbledore had come through with a Time-Turner because the magic on the Goblet of Fire rendered him unable to aid his school's Champion, and he decided that if Harry was to be on his own for the remainder of the year, then he would give him what little help he could.

'I guess that means I really _am_ a Hogwarts Champion even if there was no school name on the slip of Defence homework which found its way into the Goblet.' Harry mused to himself as he entered the never before seen room.

_"Tarantallegra"_ a voice bellowed before the door was even closed, forcing Harry to clumsily roll to the side to avoid the dancing jinx.

They traded shots for about twenty seconds before Harry was trussed up like a pig in conjured ropes. Really, he only had two years of formal training, none of which was from competent instructors, so even lasting that long was an accomplishment.

Sirius of course did not seem to agree with that assessment. "Crap. I knew you'd be crap, but not this crap. Here I thought you'd be half decent with the rate you pick up new spells, but basically everything you did there was just wrong, wrong, wrong."

It had been a little under a week since the meeting in the Hospital Wing with the Headmaster, and this was the first opportunity to get any work done. It was happening during one of those useless History of Magic lessons everybody sleeps through, meaning that he may in fact _learn _something unlike the rest of his classmates.

After an eternity Sirius let the boy down and was greeted with a long series of expletives "You tried to shoot me in the back right when I came through the door, I'm amazed I lasted even that long."

"You were crap. We'll focus on footwork, and keeping your casting efficient even when you're diving around. Once you've got that to a decent level we can go back to learning new spells. How long do you plan to spend using the Time-Turner?"

"The rest of the year unless I have a good reason not to, I want to get stronger as fast as possible and the school's Healer says that I should get used to a different sleeping pattern in about a month."

"Well we have two weeks until the First Task, and I've been told by Albus that Charley Weasley is in the country, and that the man is a Dragon Handler by trade. Do you think there may be a hint in there somewhere?" Harry just huffed a small laugh about rules bending and opened his initial salvo at the animagus.

','

Six hours and an Invigoration Draught later the two were kicked back on chairs provided by the reopened room. "I've been getting some strange looks ever since I took a crack at Snape."

"I'll bet, but how is that different from the way people normally look at you?" Sirius found the result of the various potions that were dumped on his childhood rival hilarious. Half his hair was missing -which he later shaved off completely- and a large patch of his face was dyed neon orange for three days, all that was _after_ he'd been cleaned up. What he was like before he'd been cleaned up was truly worth seeing.

"It's not the normal 'oh no a Dark Lord is going to kill us all' look, I passed a couple of Slytherins on the way here and I don't know what it was. It wasn't the kind of look I've ever really seen before."

Sirius looked a little amused and lightly asked "Would these two Slytherins happen to be of the female variety?"

"…Yeah, so?" Harry responded frowning.

"So…" the man prompted, finally giving it up as a bad job "So, you ignorant schoolboy, you are a badass school champion who may or may not be evil, and can get away with hexing his professors if they annoy you without punishment. Or at least that's what it looks like from their perspective, you also have the dashing ex-con thing going for you."

Harry just didn't get it and confusedly asked "What are you getting at Sirius?"

"Merlin where have you been living all your life, you should be able to figure this one out on your own."

"Prison. I've been living in Prison my whole life, spell it out before I curse you."

"Like you could land one little boy," he muttered as he easily palmed away the stray curse using a duellist shield "Some of the girls in this castle are bound to find you fascinating kid. Hell you had them with the whole 'may or may not be evil' thing, but with being a champion and all the rest I'm amazed you haven't been spiked with Amortentia yet."

Putting most of that on hold for a moment he asked a more or less irrelevant question "That's a love potion isn't it? Can you tell me what it tastes like?"

Knitting his brows Sirius replied "It tastes like all your favourite things. One of Alice's friends nailed me with some when I was in seventh year. It supposedly changes depending on the drinker… why?"

"I was wondering why my drink tasted so delicious yesterday morning, can we buy some more I really liked it."

"Are you saying you're immune to Amortentia?" he blurted in disbelief. "Wait, you _liked _the taste and want to buy more?"

"I don't know about immune, but I had this lovely tasting beverage with my breakfast yesterday and I was thinking fond thoughts about one of the fifth years whose name I don't even know. I didn't fall in love with her or anything and I'd gotten over it by the time it came for me to be tortured by that Moody arsehole."

He thought on this for a while before putting it out of his mind "You should get yourself a girlfriend, just pick one who seems interested and be mysterious at her. It'll give you something to do when you're not training."

"As if I don't have enough on my plate at the moment." Although he briefly thought he might take a crack at 'the Veela bitch' for no other reason than ignoring her aura appeared to annoy her immensely. "I think those two Slytherins were called Tracy and Daphne."

','

It _was_ actually just as simple as Padfoot had said, so Harry found himself accompanied on the first Hogsmeade visit by a tall attractive blonde and her shorter but equally attractive dark haired best friend. It was four days before the first task and Harry was taking the whole day off to relax and try to enjoy life.

He was also doing his level best to follow his godfather's advice; 'remember Harry, half your comments should imply you are evil, the other half that you're good. Give a backhanded compliment when the opportunity arises, but don't be scared to make fun of them a little.' He gave many more recommendations but like most of the things Sirius said it was all contradictory. He also was surprisingly knowledgeable about taking two girls out at the same time, which Harry did not take to be a good sign for some reason.

"I really cannot believe Rita Skeeter would write such things about you." During the wand weighing ceremony Harry had been introduced to a reporter, who for some perverse, probably masochistic reason, Harry found he quite liked. The woman was clearly a poisonous bitch who didn't care about anything save making her story as sensational as possible. It was also obvious that the woman was not even attempting to hide who she is, being straightforward about her goals, albeit in a twisted kind of way.

"I may have intentionally given her a few quotes which she could blow out of all proportion." He replied to the dark haired girl's comment.

She looked confused by this revelation "Intentionally? Why would you do that, she made you out to be the kind of person who, while possibly dashing and clearly mysterious, eats babies in the dead of night."

"I liked how she'd managed to bring in Pollux Black, and how his Order of Merlin was for assassinating one of the minister at the time's enemies. A story which I know for a fact to be a total fabrication because he was awarded the thing for donating a huge pile of gold. Yet she did it, and managed to strongly imply that my using the same wand means I'll doubtlessly follow in his nefarious footsteps"

Walking into the Three Broomsticks in the waning sunlight Harry managed to body-check one of the leaving French girl's friends, which caused her to in turn bump the Veela, who promptly did a pratfall into the mud. A comment not quite under his breath regarding her 'gracefulness' would have likely been responded to with violence had he not hastily slipped into the building.

"You're _so _evil Harry." Said the blonde, not quite chastisingly.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." He waved dismissively "Wine? I've been told the house Red is surprisingly good." Another thing Sirius mentioned, these two are teenagers, they have just as much of an idea of what makes a good wine as he did, and being able to pull off ordering alcohol when underage would doubtlessly get him bonus points too.

When he met up with his godfather later that evening he simply voiced the one irrefutable sentiment he had learned that day "Threeway kisses are awesome."

','

"_Pupugi"_ slashing spiral, jab _"Pupugi"_

"I heard you've been two-timing a couple of Slytherin girls Harry." The bushy haired girl admonished. She was still a little skittish around Harry but her displeasure at the rumour outweighed her current level of discomfort.

"_Pupugi"_ Another near transparent beam flashed out the tip of his Elm wand before he replied with "where did you hear that Hermione?"

"Neville was very upset last night and I finally got out of him the reason why this morning." Harry continued firing at the targets in the Room of Requirement "He was unhappy with some of your comments he overheard regarding Bellatrix LeStrange, and he told me about your spending time with two different girls."

"It was at the same time so it's hardly two-timing is it? _'Pupugi'_" Turning to the teenage girl he went on to ask "Why should Neville care about what I have to say about Bella anyway?" Apparently it being at the same time was too far out of her realm of experience because it took a while for the black haired boy's comment to permeate.

"I couldn't get it out of him, though I've never seen him so angry when he said her name. I think he might have tried to hurt you had you been there." Harry just waved his hand dispassionately and went back to overpowering his spells. "Are you nervous about the Task? I heard Angelina talking about all the preparation she's been doing and all the Griffindors are helping her out."

"Are they still wearing Draco's pathetic badges?" He questioned, ignoring her earlier query because he actually _was_ a little nervous. Who wouldn't be if they knew they were going to be fighting a Dragon in less than a day.

As she was about to answer in the affirmative Padfoot walked in with a cheery "I've got it. Had to buy it from a shop down Knockturn Alley, and it cost a stupid amount, but I got it."

He handed the purple potion to his godson who commented "It can't have been that much, it's not _that_ difficult to brew. I still think we should have gone with the whole villainous spikes thing, it would help complete the image."

The dog animagus thought it over but didn't comment.

','

"Dragons? Oh my lord, who would have thought it. What kinds of people would make teenagers fight Dragons? I for one am surprised and flabbergasted at this totally unforeseen turn of events."

The tent with the three lesser champions and a former Beater named Ludo Bagman all glared at the black haired boy who had the temerity to spout such insincerity. He drew a blue-grey Swedish Short-Snout and was scheduled to attempt to retrieve his golden egg first. The others received their own Dragons with Angelina getting a Welsh Green and Princess Delacour the honour of facing off against the Horntail.

When left alone Harry's former Quidditch teammate growled "You knew the whole time didn't you."

"Of course, everyone knew, didn't you?" Ah the devil may care attitude really did a number on the pretty chaser, especially when she noticed the others looking like they all in fact _did _know of this beforehand. So he ignored her and, nodding to Krum who he had no problem with, turned the beautiful Fleur and as sincerely as possible he asked "Would you like some help with the Horntail, those things are actually quite dangerous you know."

The repeated barbs over the course of the last few weeks, combined with that _accidental _jostling into the mud a few days ago, had the French woman more pissed off at Harry than she was concerned about facing a Dragon. As she expressed her opinion as to the character of one Harry James Potter he downed the purple potion and aged almost three years before their eyes. Ignoring her continuing tirade, he wrapped a finely made cloak embossed with the Potter family crest and walked out to face the crowd attempting to look imposing, the kind of man who could face down one of these creatures with ease.

Scoping out the area Harry noted the golden egg, and that the Short-Snout was shackled to the ground. That's good, he'd brushed up on his Dragons over the past two weeks and knew that this breed was nimble in the air but less capable on the ground. They were also able to command a bright blue flame which was amongst the hottest of the species.

_"Concussus, Confringo"_

Bright flash of light and a deafening roar masked the explosive blasting curse. Direct damage spells are basically useless against Dragons, so it was more like a love tap than anything. Just trying to get its attention.

Sirius had said that the eyes are the vulnerable point, and on further research the ear canal, as well as under the arms/wings. Basically you could only land spells places where the hide was thin or absent entirely, and those places were far from being easily accessible.

Tossing a few more blasters at it and getting an idea as to the things 'flaming' range, he thought how the original plan had to be dropped in the early stages. Levitating heavy weights and pounding the thing into unconsciousness would have been nice but he didn't have the focus to Transfigure weight large enough, nor the power to engorge one of the existing rocks.

"Well this is getting me nowhere..." he muttered under his breath "...I need to get closer."

He set about slowly Transfiguring a thick solid shield out of one of the rocks, and after three minutes Harry was happy with his creation, big enough to crouch behind and tough enough to take Dragon fire, he hoped. Putting as strong a featherweight charm as he could on the medieval style shield, he picked it up in his left hand and moved to the edge of dragonfire range.

He set about harassing it with repeated _'Confringo'_ blasts until it flamed and he had to lean back and take the hit. It was not much due to the extreme range, so once the heat dissipated he scrambled as fast as he was able, closing as much distance before she could breathe flame a second time.

Turtling behind his heraldic protection once again he thought to himself 'this is probably a very bad idea,' as a huge wash of heat slammed into him. Pretty severe scorches and almighty torrents of sweat poured off him until the dragonfire eventually lessened, leaving him worse for wear but blessedly alive.

Throwing down the barely held together shield Harry took aim at the twenty foot reptile "_Pupugi,"_ a miss well wide and to the right. _"Pupugi" _closer, 'Damn it Harry, you've just got to get the eye,' the Dragon was recovering for a third breath as it was still too far to use teeth or claws, he only had one more shot at this. Otherwise it would be Harry Potter barbecue time.

Taking the time for a last steadying breath he began the familiar wandmotions, well drilled over the last several days. Slashing spiral, jab _"Pupugi"_ a high level piercing curse, the strongest spell he knew, careened toward the left eye of the towering bluish-grey lizard. It lanced deeply through the soft mass of flesh and straight through her brain.

The right side of her body dropped instantly, with the working limbs twitching, dragging the dying creature in a rough half-circle to the sound of pain filled howls. More than a little disturbed by the noises Harry turned to the crowd and muttered _"Accio Sword"_ as he pointed in the direction of his godfather.

Taking the ruby encrusted weapon he had once used to slay a Basilisk in his left hand, he advanced on the thrashing beast, shoving the sword to the hilt into the poor creatures remaining eye, a mercy killing for a noble animal. One who was, like Harry, roped into a brutal contest for the amusement of ignorant witches and wizards the world over.

And so it was that Harry Potter claimed one more life, this time to thunderous applause.

','


	3. The One Whose Pigtails You Pulled

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Three: The One Whose Pigtails You Pulled

','

Harry finally acknowledged that he had the monster of all headaches as he sat in the stands beside his godfather. He had picked up a pain potion from Madam Pomfrey but refused the burn healing ointment because the scorching he got was all indirect, and he'd rather watch the other champions than sit in a medical tent any day of the week.

"You're crazy Harry, what made you decide to bum rush the Dragon?"

Rubbing his temples he answered Sirius' question "I couldn't get a pot shot in from long range, hell I could barely manage one from _that _distance. Besides, you always say it is results that matter, and it worked didn't it?"

"Can't argue with that…" He agreed nodding "…You flashed a Visible Aura on that last piercer by the way. That really put you over the edge on the whole 'being impressive' angle."

Said Aging Potion began wearing off as Angelina squared up against the Welsh Green, she was using a similar method to Harry, aiming for the eyes with a Conjunctivitis Curse and following up with a bit of Transfiguration that was far out of Harry's league. Eventually a huge swarm of tiny birds was swelling around the Chaser, maybe even numbering in the low thousands.

"That was pretty cool" the younger stated. To think that she's the only one of the champions who was making it up on the fly.

Dropping a Disillusionment Charm on herself she commanded the swarm, or maybe flock saying as they're birds, to attack the half-blind reptile. She was attempting to distract it and slip by unnoticed. At about the eight minute mark Angelina was back in her starting position uninjured and beaming. 'Good going girl, mine was better I think, but not bad at all.'

Krum summoned the Firebolt he had used to win the Quidditch World Cup, hexing the shit out of the Chinese Dragon and landing two consecutive Conjunctivitis Curses was enough for him to slip by unnoticed. For a while at least, he had almost got burned to a crisp on his extrication attempt.

"It was very nice how you charmed that Dragon" Harry said to the part-Veela in condescending approval a short time later "It is interesting to see that even reptiles are affected by your aura."

She ignored him, instead attempting to go the route of aloof aristocrat who was above consorting with the likes of such English scum. Harry smiled in what he hoped was a winning way, trying for the look his onetime Defence Professor Gilderoy Lockhart used all the time "You did very well for second place, you should be proud of yourself _leetle_ girl."

'Okay, throwing her own words back at her is probably going a bit far there Potter, you don't want to find out if there really _is_ such thing as a castration jinx.'

','

As three people come out of a Pensieve borrowed from the Headmaster Sirius said "Told you the Ageing Potion was a good idea."

"That you did, I looked scary as hell didn't I?" Harry noted with pride.

"I cannot believe you killed a Dragon Harry, I read about it once and powerful wizards used to go out a try to slay one as a kind of initiation ceremony. I checked the library after the task and you are the eleventh youngest in history, displacing Wilfred Elphick from back in the twelfth century."

He mulled this news over smiling, the Prophet predictably played it off as a sure sign of his evil and dangerousness, but at this point Harry found himself more or less immune to criticism.

"When I picked up the Pensieve Albus continued in his vein of not helping, he was talking about your 'splendid gift for producing wandless Patronus Mist,' and he then spent considerable time wandlessly performing several feats of magic before he would let me go."

"You think he wants me to see how much I can pull off without a wand then?" Really, the enchantments on that cup preventing him from directly helping must be pathetic.

"I don't see why we shouldn't add it to the rotation. You'll be mostly on your own though, the only wandless stuff I can really do is Apparate, turn into a dog, and summon my wand. So you're going to have to figure it out for yourself for the most part."

"Any book knowledge for us Herms?"

"Do not call me Herms thank you very much…" she scowled "…and no not really, you seem to have worked out the difficult part already. The one decent book I found after you told me about the Mist said basically the same thing you did; _'force the universe to bend to your command,' _which I found to be quite frustrating because the book didn't say _how_ to go about doing such a thing."

"We may as well get on with it then."

','

For Harry, things settled into a fairly predictable pattern over the next fortnight of thirty hour days; Sparing, precision casting, emerging wandless abilities, and the distractions offered by his two pet Slytherin girls. That last not taking up as much time as he would have liked, sloping off further when he noticed 'Daph,' as she hated to be called, was developing a bit of an infatuation about one of the sixth years, a Hufflepuff he vaguely believed to be named Colin Digby. A belief which was palpably _false_ due to the number of times he was corrected.

Another thing he became aware of was that Hermione did not like being second best when it came to her studies. "It's not entirely your fault Herms, you were born a girl, and girls are just not as good at maths as boys. You can't hope to compete against me in a course like Arithmancy which relies so heavily on mathematical ability."

Harry remembered a time long ago when intentionally annoying people in this way would have been the furthest goal in his mind. Trying to annoy her by being magically more powerful, or knowing how to conjure fire wandlessly just wouldn't work, but calling her Herms and saying she was inherently inferior would get her more worked up than when she recently found out about Hogwarts House-Elves.

Professor Kitty Kat finished her lecture on cross species transfiguration and the brunette was _still_ refusing to make eye contact let alone speak to him. Harry briefly wondered why he was bothering to show up to this class when Padfoot was smashing his head against a wall attempting to teach the far more advanced Duellist Transfiguration to his less than gifted godson.

"Potter. The champions and their partners will, as tradition dictates, open the ball with the first dance." Harry nodded along having not been paying attention through her end of class speech. 'Yeah, she was saying something about a ball wasn't she?'

"I've broken up with my girlfriends Professor so I don't have a partner. I'll just skip it."

For some reason the plural annoyed her more than the implication that he was going to _skip_ an important event. "You will find a partner, and you _will _dance. It is your duty to the school and tradition."

Harry has a few choice things to say to that but was shuffled out the door before he could earn a detention. One which he would doubtlessly fail to show up to, just like all the times he had done so when Snivellus -as Padfoot always called him- attempted to force one on him.

"Do you have a date to the Yule Ball Herms?" he probably shouldn't have tried to provoke her with the nickname at the same time as he asked her out, or maybe it was more the assumptive 'of course you don't' way of asking that got her back up.

Hitting him in the balls with a Stinging Hex she screamed "Of course I already have a date Harry! And I wouldn't go with _you_ if you were the last man alive."

As he doubled over in pain Harry for some reason got the impression that the girl was displeased with him.

','

"Just ask her" Harry was fruitlessly attempting to Transfigure a conjured dog into a solid shield, a method of defence the one time Duelling Instructor called 'Transhields.'

"I don't know what you're on about Sirius." He was not doing well, the only way these shields are useful was if you could snap them into place. Taking forty five seconds to _slowly_ change living tissue to none-living stone, was _not_ in any way useful in a fight. "Can't we just stick to direct damage spells? I'm actually good at those, there is none of this stupid swish-flick bollocks."

"No we can't. If you are up against Unforgivables or any number of other curses transhields are what you're going to want between you and your opponent. But don't try to distract me, just ask her you crazy bastard, you killed a Dragon at fourteen for Merlin's sake you can ask a girl out."

Sighing Harry said "I don't know where you got the idea I'd even _want_ to go with her Sirius. I think you're just living through me, get your own life damn it."

He took a moment to glare disbelievingly at his godson "Nobody spends _that_ much time or goes to _that_ much trouble to get into a girl's face, unless they are interested. It's like what the Muggles say 'when you're in infant school you always pull the hair of the girl you like.'"

"She's a conceited bitch with no personality. I don't see how you can even think I'd be interested." The dogman made a few comments to this statement and eventually Harry muttered not far enough under his breath "Yeah well, Bella said pretty much the same thing."

"WHAT! When did you talk to Bellatrix?"

"Erm, last weekend."

Sirius closed his eyes and appeared to be making a prayer to the gods "And given that the high security third of the prison does not allow visitors, how were you able to hold such a discussion?"

"She's all alone there Sirius, you can't expect me to just forget about her can you?"

"Please tell me you're not still trying to come up with ways to break her out."

"I _can't_ break her out, the only reason I can even get in there is because of my Cloak, the Dementors don't appear to see me when I'm under it. But when I tried to get her out with it they got all shirty and disagreeable."

Rubbing his eyes the man pointlessly stated "She's evil, she deserves to be in there…" The boy just rolled his eyes. Changing the topic back the man commented "…So anyway she agreed with me then. You should just ask her out."

"Screw you Sirius Black."

','

"Hey, scabby princess, McGonagall needs to know if you have a date to the dance."

Fleur looked over at her questioner with scorn "I have not yet decided amongst my prospective admirers. You are to tell her this." The French girl responded in a way which implied she was sending him on an errand.

The black haired young man was not pleased with the order and so further aggravated the situation with "I would have thought you could Aura your way into at least one halfway decent date, just goes to show how much a poisonous personality will harm a person's love life" and he turned away with a look of triumph on his face.

"Out of interest, who exactly are _you_ taking to this Yule Ball? I happen to know you have recently found yourself absent of love interests." Rita bloody Skeeter again, to think she was in the same dorm as pretty young Bella when at Hogwarts. His opinion of the journalist was bottoming out a bit, at least Harry still _liked _Bella.

"I'm going stag." An idea apparently flashed into his head "No, in fact I'm going with _you_ Mademoiselle Delacour."

"What?" Her shrill yell made a number of people at the table take notice.

"Yes. That would be perfect, pathetic French wannabe escorting the real champion. It's not like any date you'd get would be able to go with you, all your little fans would be going with Fleur's Veela Aura, leaving you all alone and bored." She was about to object on principle and he just stated "We shall meet at seven forty five in the Entrance Hall, you are to give your best attempt at dressing fashionably, I will not have you showing up and embarrassing the real Tri-Wizard Champion."

At this he moved off, leaving more than just the French contingent speechless.

','

Harry didn't feel too great.

He'd met up with the blonde Ravenclaw third year in an attempt to negotiate some help in his plan and she had been somewhat agreeable. It was quite simple; put a Confundus Charm on the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain Roger Davies so that he thought _this _blonde was in fact Fleur Delacour, the two Ravenclaws could then go have fun at the Yule Ball together.

She said that it was a fairly reasonable request and only required a yellow jelly baby to be delivered to her bed on Solstice morning, and that the jelly baby needed to weigh the same as she does. Fine that made a kind of sense, and tracking down a Muggle candy, then engorging it enough to meet her requirements wouldn't be all that hard.

When asked why she didn't do the engorging herself she said it was because Harry was facing in the direction of the Constellation of Orion when he initially requested aid, as well as the fact that they both happened to be in the northern hemisphere at the time.

When it was brought up that a person cannot _see_ the Constellation of Orion in the _southern_ hemisphere, she responded that just because you can't see a thing didn't mean it wasn't there. This also make a kind of sense, though why it should matter with regards to the jelly baby was less than clear, but by this point Harry was having a little trouble keeping up with her.

Her last request, asked in a seemingly offhand way, was for Harry to buy her a drink in a tea shop on the next Hogsmeade weekend, and Harry just kind of acquiesced in a confused sort of way.

Walking away from this conversation Harry didn't feel so great. It's similar to how one would feel when your gut was telling you that the second hand car salesman had gotten something by, and for the life of you, you can't figure out what it was.

"Are you ready for tomorrow kid?"

"Hmm, oh, yeah. Will you pick me up some jelly babies later? I have kind of a headache."

"Voldemort again? Those are getting too frequent for my liking." Harry had been training a lot ever since he got the Time-Turner, and one thing that he'd noticed was that being tired seemed to make him more accessible to the Dark Lord's mind, or something like that anyway. All he knew was that headaches suck and that pain potions tasted awful.

"No, no. Not this time at least, just remember the jelly babies. They are important."

"Okay jelly babies, got it. I want to get you working on accuracy with that offhand column of fire you've been creating, I know you said it's inefficient and draining but it is still worth learning." Sirius started conjuring small birds and having them fly toward Harry, who then tried to torch them out of the air without a wand.

His headache was even worse by the time he quit.

','

_"Confundo"_ 'It really is good that her name is Luna, at least the whole moon thing gives you warning that the girl is a total wackjob.' Harry thought this to himself as he watched the cherubic blonde walk off arm in arm with the sixth year. He would never learn that Luna was humming a song with the words _'Harry Potter, off his rocker'_ at precisely the same moment.

Sweeping majestically into the Entrance Hall platinum hair loose and framing her flawless face, the Beauxbatons Champion Mademoiselle Fleur Delacour looked less a woman than she did an untouchable goddess, the picture of perfect beauty and elegance. "You are late, it is seven fifty five and I told you to be here ten minutes ago…" He paused in thought and clearly looked her over "…At least you don't look too horrible, I expected a little more of an effort but it will have to do."

"I am not 'ere to meet with you 'Arry Potter" her accent was slipping, she must have been having as much of a great time with this as Harry was.

"No? Who do you claim you are meeting?" He asked lightly. At her response he said "The Ravenclaw? Erm, I don't know how to break this too you but he's already in there. Are you sure he knew you'd agreed?"

The French woman knew there was something wrong with that statement, but right at that moment Professor McGonagall's voice called, "Champions over here, please!" and Harry took her arm whisked her toward the Great Hall.

Angelina was looking gorgeous, she was on the arm of a guy Harry vaguely recalled played for Puddlemere, the same team Olly Wood got signed for, and Krum was with, "Hermione?" he exploded. She answered triumphantly with a smug little smile. Harry turned to Krum and loudly whispered "Not bad, she's a live one though so watch yourself."

"You are with Ms. Delacour Harry?" his no longer bushy haired friend asked.

"Yeah, it's a last minute thing. To be honest I think she hexed my date." He didn't even bother attempting to say this circumspectly. Realisation dawned on the stunning woman's face at this statement, and as Harry's date was about to begin shouting he cut in with "Smile my dear, pretend you knew about this the whole time, you wouldn't want to lose face in front of the cameras now would you?"

Everyone applauded as the champions entered the hall and Harry, once more using an Ageing Potion so as to appear appropriately champion-like, offered a proud smile with the most desirable woman in the room on his arm.

Pulling out a chair for the French woman at the top table, Harry then took a seat for himself beside a stern and imposing figure he learned to be one of the organisers of this event named _Mister _Crouch. Harry felt an unaccustomed rightness in the world, one which was subtly _not_ being shared by his companion. "I have taken the liberty to inform the House-Elves that your meal is to be prepared in the English way, as you are well known for preferring; much grease, and foods heavy on carbohydrate."

Who knew witches of Veela decent lose control of their aura when they're mad? Harry found himself glad that she could not perform the full avian transformation. "You have to be the most infuriating person I have ever had the misfortune to meet." She ground this out in a heavy French accent.

"Why thank you Fleur, I am honoured to be bestowed such a remarkable title." He said with a winning smile. "To think, if we were competing in this childish competition using Durmstrang rules you would have gotten the opportunity to duel me. Alas the road not taken."

"It is likely I would have killed you." Harry just nodded condescendingly "What did you do with my original date may I ask?"

That came out in a tone far closer to a demand than a request, and Harry just gestured to the poor besotted Roger Davies who was hanging on the younger girls every word.

The woman petulantly began working her way through a plate of brutally overcooked lamb chops, eventually she gave in and asked the one question whose answer she couldn't figure out on her own "Why do this? It is clear you are unaffected by my Veela heritage, and it is equally clear I dislike you strongly. So why do it?"

"Two of my friends seem to be under the impression that I like you. I personally think they are wrong, but the idea interested me regardless. I wished to discover for myself whether there was anything beneath your poisonous exterior." That was _not_ he response she had been expecting "So far it appears my first instincts were correct." Though the follow up was just the kind of thing she'd expected.

','

The dance was interesting, he'd stayed with his godfather's advice and kept things simple, having ones hands on a stunning woman had its perks after all. As the song finished and his date was about to take her first opportunity to excuse herself, Harry turned his back on her and approached Angelina without a second glance backwards.

"Care for a dance my lady?" Harry took her hand and pulled her into the second, much faster song.

After a while she gave up the whole rigid and put upon attitude, mainly because Harry refused to let go and she'd have been forced to cause a scene in the middle of the dance floor to escape "What do you want Potter?"

"Straight to business I see, no time for the pleasantries, any of the finer things in life?" He saw the look on her face and decided to drop his ridiculous playful act "Fine Johnson, I'll get to the point. You were the only champion who went into the first task without preparation, I do not know if you were aware but cheating is one of the core aspects of this thing."

"What are you saying?" some of the hostility dropped from her tone.

"I'd love to see you get naked and swim about in the prefect's bathroom with your egg." With a roguish smile he continued "Then again I am kind of a pervert."

He disengaged as the song ended, leaving the other Hogwarts Champion unsure as to whether or not her competitor was helping or being his usual insufferable self.

Catching up with Sirius about ten minutes later they got on with the second plan, the basic idea being that such a high profile event like this was the perfect distraction for a prank. Although what they were doing even Harry thought was a little mean.

"Come on, this is Snape for Merlin's sake. How can anything we do to _him _be considered mean?" the older man questioned.

"I dunno, he did try to save my life when I was a little first year, he can't be evil all the way through can he? Besides Albus likes him." The younger responded.

"You know, he was infatuated with Lily when we were in school. After they stopped being friends in fifth year he kind of started stalking her."

"What! He was friends with my mother? How come nobody ever mentioned this before now?"

Sirius shrugged "Never really seemed important."

"…Stalking?"

"A bit yeah."

"Fuck it, stop taking and start cursing." No more did the younger think that a precision babbling hex mixed with a compulsion was too mean. What's making a greasy evil Potions Master start hitting on eleven year old boys, when compared to stalking a person's mother?

','

"You know your eyes really look beautiful in the moonlight." Harry said in his best corny line spouting voice.

"What do you want 'Arry, it appears you 'ave won tonight's unexpected challenge. Can you not leave me to watch 'ze stars in peace?"

They were in the rose garden, and other than a few preoccupied teenagers the two were all alone. Harry had recently passed a leaving, and visibly upset Olympe Maxime on the way over to his date. "You seem sad. I was expecting angry not sad."

"You have had your fun at my expense, and I find myself no longer caring. Not only are you ahead in 'zis tournament, but I see you 'elping your schoolmate even though she is clearly less fond of you than I."

After standing in thought for a while he came to a decision "Can you fly? Like on a broom."

Not even bothering to ask at this point she just answered "Oui, though I prefer other methods as broom riding is uncomfortable."

"Come, I'm going to show you something cool."

Fifteen minutes later the two champions found themselves on the roof of Hogwarts, it felt like tallest point in the world despite the mountains in clear view. "As far as I know the only way to get up here is by flying, there are no staircases that I've seen which can access the very top. Hell, nobody is even sure how many _floors_ the castle has, but the view from here is one of the best. I do not know why I am the only person who has wondered what is up here."

The French girl looked around, the sight really was remarkable. You could see the whole vista of Hogsmeade, the Forbidden Forest, Black Lake, and everything Britain's sole magical-only community had to offer. "Why bring me 'ere?"

"I don't rightly know, it just seemed the thing to do. Bella and Padfoot both said I should give you a chance, so I'm going to stop being a dick in the hopes that there is more to you than you're letting on."

Two hours later Harry left.

He may have accidently taken both brooms.

','

Lens of Sanity  
Personally I doubt anyone would be able to pull off landing Fleur as their date in such a way, but there _is_ a saying that goes 'it's easier to get forgiveness than permission,' so who knows it might actually work. I think it kind of goes along with the whole not giving a crap about anything angle… maybe.  
Up next a Jim Bern Lake Task.


	4. It's All About Attitude

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Four: It's All About Attitude

','

"You left her on the roof?"

"Yeah." Harry said scratching the back of his head.

"Why?" the man asked exasperatedly following a long pause.

"I dunno, it just seemed the thing to do. Do you honestly think I have any idea _why_ I do half the shit that I do?"

After a brief consideration of this new insight into the mind of one Harry James Potter, Sirius asked "When are you going to let her down then?"

"She'll be fine, annoying as she can be sometimes the woman is actually quite talented. If she can't even cast an _'Aresto Momentum'_ she kind of deserves to be up there." Harry replied, waving it off negligently. "So what are we doing today, I can't be bothered to do my Potions homework and I think we'd better start getting on with February's task."

"Solid Shields" Harry just groaned "Yeah, well they _are_ important, it's not my fault you are the least talented student I've ever heard of."

Normally he would argue with a comment like that, but saying as Harry was beginning to suspect he's actually getting _worse_ rather than better he refrained "How is that preparing for an underwater task?"

"It's not, but you suck, and we're going get past this one way or another." He began steadily throwing hexes in the new room they had found. They had gotten sick of hanging out in the same duelling area and began asking the Room of Requirement for different settings. Today's being a cathedral like expanse of junk, the detritus accumulated by a thousand years of people hiding things in the school.

After the fourth Stinging Hex to the arse Harry lost patients and a full blown duel broke out. Levitating an old rusted axe into the path of a mild bludgeoner, Harry managed to land an _'Evebero'_ on his godfather, the stunner which can't be reversed by a simple _'Rennervate'_ took the older down and scored a rare win for the younger.

Hermione walked in behind Hermione and the two girls flashed identical expressions at Harry's childish victory dance. "Hey guys what's up." He stated when he finally spotted them, taking in stride the fact that they seem to be twins now.

"Guys?" she started to ask before seeing the prone form "Have you killed your godfather Harry?"

"Nar he'll be alright, the three of us should do something to him while he's out you think?"

The closest bushy haired girl knitted her brows together "Three?"

Harry applied the counter chant, then he gestured over her shoulder and the second girl gave a confident greeting in Hermione's distinctive voice.

Surprised she squeaked out a "Who are you?"

"I'm Hermione Granger, nice to meet you." She said sticking out her hand as if to shake it.

"You cannot possibly be Hermione Granger, _I'm_ Hermione Granger."

"So am I." She stubbornly insisted as Sirius' newly conscious form looks on in amusement at how worked up she Hermione was getting.

"No you are not. I demand you tell me who you are."

Rolling her eye's the second girl went on "I _am_ Hermione, I have returned from the future with the aid of a Time-Turner to give you a dire warning. A terrible doom is about to befall you and without making drastic changes now, things will all end in sorrow." The brunette faltered a little. "Although I distinctly remember about five hours ago, my future self gave me a similar warning, and it appeared to set off a chain of events which _caused_ said doom to befall us, and necessitated I return to the past to give forewarning."

Harry began rubbing his temples slowly, a feeling he had noticed only once before causing yet another headache. After a moment he remembered where this sensation was last experienced "You're Luna Lovegood Polyjuiced to look like Hermione aren't you?"

It was mostly a guess but it had a gut feeling of rightness too it. "Perhaps, but then again it could be that Luna Lovegood is _always_ Hermione, and she goes around the castle Polyjuiced to look like an attractive blonde Muggle she has tied up in her family's basement."

Taking this too in stride Harry went on. "Okay, say that is the case. How then can the two of you regularly be in the same room at the same time?"

"Simple, using the same Time-Turner I used to come back in time to warn you about the oncoming Doom, and possibly causing it to happen by giving you the warning about it."

Harry briefly wondered when his life became filled with conversations like this.

','

The four eventually got back to attempting to have the champion learn solid shields; Harry, Sirius, Hermione, and Hermione/Luna. The last simply assuming she was going to help and nobody really noticing she had never actually been invited.

After forty minutes, and Harry once more failing to make any progress the now lone brunette asked a question. "Dumbledore had to _Obliviate_ a couple of first years after breakfast, and Snape was muttering about killing the two of you. Do I want to know why?"

"Probably not," Harry instantly answered "we'll tell you when you are older though. It was classic."

"Does it have anything to do with the French Champion's attempts at sounding out whether or not Snape would require help?"

"No actually." Sirius chimed in "That was a completely separate set of circumstances your genius classmate decided on." Harry just smiled at his godfather. Fleur was beginning to grow on him.

"Come on we'll go get something to eat, we need to come up with a strategy for this pathetic lake task."

Hammering out a few extra details over lunch took a fair while with everyone basically just pooling their ideas and coming up with the kinds of magic Harry was going to have to focus on over the next two months.

Three days after the New Year Hedwig returned from her short trip to the continent, missive from Apolline Delacour clutched in her talons. Coming up with an appropriately believable lie in order to get the information required was challenging as approaching Fleur's parents for information was likely something her aura-addled fanboys had tried in the past, many times.

He'd been consciously avoiding his fellow champion since their last meeting, quite a difficult thing to pull off confined in such a relatively small environment, and now he was ready for a second date regardless of whether or not she was.

Having the fanatically eager to please house-elves cook a dish soaked in a red wine sauce was fairly straight forward, though Harry himself had never tasted _'Coq au vin'_ it was apparently the French woman's favourite dish. However tracking down a bottle of 1956 Mouton Rothschild to have with the meal was far more difficult. 'Are you supposed to drink red wine if the dish is cooked in the stuff?' he idly thought to himself.

"This isn't going to work Harry." His pessimistic friend inserted.

"Of course it is. I'm going to spike her drink with a potion so she'll not curse the shit out of me at first glance."

Not really reassured as to this revelation Hermione stated "You know Love Potions are probably not going to work either, doubtlessly a women like her carries around an antidote to even Amotentia."

"Why would you want an antidote? Amortentia tastes great."

"Yeah, well not everyone can throw off its effects like you can, besides you're sidestepping my concerns. You are dosing a woman with love potion, that is wrong and I am going to be forced to stop you."

"I'm not." He protested.

"You're not what?"

"It's not a love potion, what do you take me for? I'm spiking her with a Draught of Peace so she doesn't attack me and can enjoy the date."

Frowning, his bookish friend put in a second obstacle "Okay fine. What makes you think she'll even agree to meet with you, I've overhead some of her comments regarding you. She is not you're biggest fan."

Shaking his head he went on "Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, you're looking at this in too straightforward a manner. She is _obviously_ crazy about me, and I have no intention of asking. I'm going to get Albus to turn her pillow into a portkey, he's the Headmaster so his portkeys work under the Hogwarts wards. I've already stolen her pillow and can simply sneak it back in there once he's spelled it."

"Her pillow, meaning you are kidnapping her as she lays down to sleep?"

"Yeah, hopefully she sleeps skyclad like I do." He finished with a cheeky smile.

After a very long pause the brunette said "I'm becoming worried about your mental state Harry."

"Are things still going Krummy in your love life Hermione?"

She just scowled.

','

It was 9:25am on the 24th of February and the frigid air was biting deep through the formal robes of Harry Potter.

"Like my boots?" he said to the _still_ irate French girl, motioning to the gray-blue leather boots Sirius had ordered made for a Solstice gift from the hide of the first task dragon. He had a matching wallet and belt too, the latter of which he was also wearing as this was a special occasion.

"Please do not speak to me." She ordered, in a voice attempting to be dispassionate.

What amuses Harry was that their second date/kidnapping was an event they both truly enjoyed, and the French woman could not really say otherwise without them both knowing it a lie. The Draught of Peace really helped her relax and simply enjoy her favourite foods, and Harry's charming conversation.

She had been avoiding him like the plague ever since and this was the first conversation they'd had in months.

"I like the boots, they scream; 'Harry Potter: Dragon Slayer,' don't you guys agree?" he asked in an attempt to draw in 'the lesser' champions.

Angelina had been warmer since she cracked the egg clue and discovered with surprise that Harry really _was_ helping. "They do have a certain style about them I suppose." She responded and Krum kind of nodded. Harry liked him, opportunities to needle Hermione aside, he was actually good for her.

"Thanks, everyone read up on their Bubblehead Charms?" this made all three of them smirk "What?"

The two females held up some kind of plant, and Viktor said he didn't need one. "What's the plant?"

"Gillyweed, allows one to breathe underwater. We are in no need of childish spells like 'ze Bubblehead Charm." The part magical creature seemed overly cheerful to have finally gotten one over on him for some reason.

As they were lead off to the starting point Harry bemoaned to himself at how tired he was. They hadn't thought to take it easy in training yesterday because Harry was usually back to full strength after a nights rest and it didn't really seem to be much of a problem, but then hammering that one final spell kept him up longer than it should have.

Couple this with Draco fucking Malfoy and his idiotic goon squad setting up a bloody ambush on the way back to his rooms, and Harry was finding himself competing in this task with a mild case of magical exhaustion. It briefly occurred to him that he wished he had not bet on himself as the winner this time, could have made a killing betting on one of the underdogs.

A whistle echoed shrilly and the four champions of the Tri-Wizard Tournament were off. Fleur and Angelina chomped down on their Gillyweed and their bodies began to morph, amongst other things growing gills. Applying his, now kind of disappointing Bubblehead Charm, Harry noticed Viktor Krum perform a full animal transformation into that of a shark and disappear into the watery depths.

It was blurry and disorienting beneath the shimmering bubble of air, but oxygen was quite important so he'd take it over drowning. Diving into the lake he discovered one predictable truth, February water was very, very cold "Damn, they are going to vanish into my body and never be seen from again" he grumbled to himself, casting as powerful warming charm as he could as he vanished beneath the surface.

There were four large projectors, one for each champion as this was organised as a spectator event, and the tiny thing Harry thought of as a camera was following his every move. All three other champions were long gone, 'I guess that Gillyweed stuff was a good idea,' and Harry began casting last night's well practised nonverbal spell. One designed to send a fire-hose of water out the tip of a wand, in this situation propelling him far faster than he would have been able to swim.

Other than the scalding to death of a dozen Grindylows and a sub-aquatic blasting curse into the Giant Squid's flank, getting to the potion ingredients in the Merfolk Village was quite uneventful. He was last to arrive there so his idea to Disillusion the other bags and a place Notice-Me-Not charm around the area was scuppered before he could even try.

Coming to the surface he saw only Krum remained brewing the Awakening Potion using his rescued ingredients, and a sleeping Luna Lovegood was on the ground next to the single unused cauldron. Starting to brew, Harry commented "So you're an Animagus then?"

"Da." He answered affirmatively, though clearly preferring not to be distracted.

"My godfather was at me to learn that, but other than being able to lick my own balls when I get bored I didn't really see the point." The adult looking black haired boy remarked, probably giving away a little too much personal information.

With a strange look Hermione came too, smiling at the Quidditch player, the two ran off.

','

Luna regained precious consciousness and looked into a distinctive green eyed stare. She noted that up close, Harry looked terrible. Pinching the bridge of his nose as if fighting back a headache, he was swaying a little on his feet indicating how tired he must be.

"Ready to go Luna, we're in last place so we're going to have to move lickedy-split."

"Give me the wand Harry, you could use a break for the next little while." He obeyed knowing it was probably a good idea and the two of them enter the path running through the Forbidden Forest.

About ten minutes later Harry was forced to wandlessly banish the blonde through some kind of defensive ward which induced an all consuming feeling of terror, and she accidently landed in a Boggart Nest. Luna dealt with the threat before Harry could even tell what form her Boggart took meaning she must have had at least one competent Defence Professor.

Asking as much the blue eyed girl dreamily responded "The Werewolf who taught last year showed us how to do it, it is really quite simple when you are prepared."

'A Werewolf? Albus really must hire teachers based on who is most likely to kill his students in some spectacular fashion.' Harry thought to himself without voicing his growing suspicions regarding the man's sanity.

Eventually the two found themselves standing in a clearing with three totems which appeared to be conjuring and controlling dangerous animals. Harry was forced to tackle the younger girl down to avoid the talons of a falcon, then drag her out of the totems' range.

Thinking he decided on a subtle manoeuvre "Give me the wand back, I'll deal with this." Tottering slightly deep in his exhaustion, he took a breath and ignored the pounding in his head.

_"Confringo"_

_"Confringo"_

_"Confringo"_

_"Confringo"_

Falling to one knee he managed a fifth _"Confringo"_ before everything exploded under the weight of rapidly cast blasting curses.

Due to the noise of the collapsing totems, nobody noticed the black haired boy's pain-filled whimper as he lost consciousness.

','

Waking with a flash of red and a cruel smirk, the Horntail wand stunned the blonde and transfigured her into a more manageable size, a golden puppy small enough to fit into the palm of one hand. He slipped it into his pocket and shot off a powerful twisted mass of purple energy which consumed the remnants of totem defences.

Thinking 'I will get this foolish task over with and then I can get back to doing what is important' he moved off at a brisk jog, absently torching the 'Spyfly' which was documenting for an audience his trip through the forest.

Coming into a clearing where the four contestants paths were doubtlessly intended to cross, he saw only one of his opponents had reached this point in the same amount of time. Concluding that either he was in front, or was lagging far behind.

The dark skinned child did not spot him so the Confusion Curse struck both her and her aide in the back without ever being spotted, they both span back the way they had come and headed for the lake again. After a few moments invested 'Trapping' the area he headed toward the direction of the finish, an unaccustomed air of malevolence following in his wake.

','

Fred and George Weasley were not having a good year so far.

They had invested all of their savings in Krum catching the Snitch in the World Cup Final, an event their father had managed to get tickets for from his friend in the Ministry Games and Sports Department. The press of people down in the pit was uncomfortable, but they had come to the conclusion that it all added to the atmosphere and enjoyment; 'who would want to be in a prize box far from the real fans?' they asked themselves earnestly.

Still, although Krum _did_ in fact catch the Snitch, he did it a little faster than the twins had expected, managing to defeat even the mighty force that was the Irish Chasers. It was so that the two lost all of their gold, signalling a major setback in their post-Hogwarts plans.

The loss of their sister almost two years ago hit their family hard, though by now the twins had bounced back for the most part, better than some members of the family at least. So now they were using money borrowed from George's girlfriend Alicia in an attempt to win back some of their losses.

It did not feel right to bet on Angelina as Fred was still unhappy he had not been fast enough to invite her to the Yule Ball, and while Harry Potter would probably win this task, his odds were far too short to have the chance to make any decent amount of cash by betting on him. Together the twins came to a decision, they would once more take their chances on Krum. His odds were longer than they should be and from the looks of things their fortunes might be changing.

Angelina and her friend had been hit by some form of Confusion Ward and they were heading back toward the lake, the French witch had come to the same clearing and been incapacitated by some kind of pain causing net, taking her down and having to be removed by the Tournament officials. Harry Potter's screen had gone dark a little under ten minutes ago, though he was still in the task at the time, and Krum was nearing the finish.

It was down to the two remaining champions, and the twins were praying for a Bulgarian victory once again.

','

'Hmm, finishing four minutes behind the illustrious Mr. Krum, the girl must have been a great help to him.' The green eyed man thought to himself as he stood next to the un-transfigured Luna Lovegood and the two task winners, as he imperiously gazed at the gawping spectators and tiresome Tournament officials.

"And finishing in second place with a time of 28 minutes and 12 seconds; Harry Potter." The amplified voice of Ludovic Bagman called out to the crowd. 'The man is a shade of his former self, pathetic.' Eventually he whisked away, disappearing through the mass of people and headed for the castle.

An hour later the hallway leading to the Headmasters Office was trapped to high heaven and the teenager was beneath his Invisibility Cloak waiting for the next stage of his hastily crafted plan. He saw the old man's eyes twitch toward the shadowed alcove where he was crouched, 'Albus is be able to see through this cloak then, that is unfortunate' he thought as he activated every one of the hurriedly carved single use runes.

Not even waiting to see if any of the magic reached its target he brought to bear twelve and a quarter inches of Elm, unleashing a long string of spells heavy in Dark Curses, all learned long ago in his travels throughout eastern Europe.

Eyes once again flashing malevolent red as the smoke and shrapnel cleared, he noticed that his aged opponent was virtually unharmed behind a powerfully cast mage-shield. With an uncharacteristically sibilant hiss the fourteen year old intoned a long chant in Parsel and a weaving mass of emerald energy coalesced into the form of a reptilian, dragon-like creature with nine angry heads.

As the bright green hydra closed on its foe a wild blast of elemental magic slammed into the younger man, a gust of hurricane strength wind took his feet out from under him and smashed his body painfully against the far wall. Shaking off the dizzying effects of head meeting stone he wiped the blood from his forehead, clearing his vision.

"Careful there Albus Dumbledore, you do not wish to harm your little protégé now do you, _'Avada Kedavra.'_"

The flash of an Unforgivable coincided with the hydra's encountering its opponent, down to four heads now, one of which got in a scorching bite as the old man raised a solid shield to block, he took a bite as a sacrifice against the lethal flash of green.

As the magical construct was massacred by a sabre of brightest white, the two turned and began steadily trading blows, one's magic dark and deadly, the other's more defensive and aimed at incapacitation.

A triumphant smirk played across the black haired boy's visage 'there is no way you can defeat me that way old man.'

','

Severus Snape's first hint that things were afoot in the castle was the tremendous surge of magic coming from the seventh floor. His other clues were the almighty thumps, shudders, bangs, and assorted crashes coming from the same area.

Coming upon the Griffindor Head of House he ordered in his customary tone "You deal with the students, I will get up there" before he followed his own words and, cloak billowing, took off toward the scene of the disturbance.

','

Palming away a well recognised Dark Slicing Curse the crimson eyed boy let loose a blanket banisher and returned to stringing a chain of offensive magic at the preposterously dressed Headmaster.

"Ah Severus, how nice of you to join us." The ess's were all drawn out in long hisses, the last even dropping into Parseltongue. "You will help me destroy this old man, and you will return to the service of your master."

Instead the Potions Professor got to his feet and came to the old man's aid without speaking, adding far more violent spells in his direction than have been cast at him so far.

"Do not harm him Severus, we must capture him not kill." Dumbledore ordered.

"It is well that you have followed my commands so excellently and for so long, even long after my alleged defeat Severus, however should you continue this foolishness I shall be displeased." Two minutes of solid casting by all three before a shield buster hammered against the conjured wall of stone, seven infectious barbs lanced toward both targets at the same instant, three piercing the aged Headmaster and one the shoulder of the younger Head of House.

_"Crucio"_ pinned the already downed Snape with white hot knives of agonising pain "We shall see whether or not you still have any use to me Severus."

Turning to the recovering Albus Dumbledore he separated the wand arm before it could be pointed in anger once again, thinking of a day long ago when this man came to an orphanage in London the red glare twisted further in unholy rage, the tip of his unfamiliar wand glowing a beautiful pleasant green.

_"Avada Ked-"_

"**No!**"

A scream, a roar of defiance deeper and stronger than anything he had ever felt dropped the boy to his knees. Blood oozing from the various cuts and scrapes taken over the course of the fight a mere distraction compared to the splattering which spurted from his famous scar as it broke open.

The choking, tortured bellow was unheard by the ears of the boy himself, who pushed with everything he had, somehow desperately attempting to retake control.

The sweet arms of oblivion eventually took him, answering the prayers of all, the boy himself by far the most relieved.

','

Lens of Sanity  
My thinking on this chapter; other than some whiny headaches and the opportunity to angst at the audience, Harry never seems to experience many problems having a part of somebody else's _**Soul **_inhabiting his body, which I find a little strange. Also, Dumbledore never gets enough fight scenes for my liking.  
In other news, I'm starting to get a feel for the Harry Potter character in _this_ story. At first I wasn't sure I liked him, which is fine I suppose because nowhere does it say the author or a story has to _like_ his characters, but I'm starting to get into it. I even found the trope I think he might be using.


	5. Always the Quiet Ones

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Five: Always the Quiet Ones

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Coming to in his much occupied bed in Hogwarts Hospital Wing Harry cracked an eye open and blurrily looked out of the window. He couldn't actually _see_ much of the view without his glasses but he had spent so much time in this exact same bed that he could imagine the branches of the tree with perfect clarity. Sighing he then noticed something far more unusual, he seemed to be tied to the bed and worse, had an extremely rare magic limiting choker around his neck.

'Oh, now I remember. I'm Voldemort. Who knew?' it came out a gurgling groan which brought the attention of the school Healer, with a well disguised look of fear flitting behind her eyes.

As he finished the dreadful potion being fed to him through a straw he got out an important question "Did Albus survive those infectious barbs, Snape too I suppose?"

Looking down on him for a long moment Madam Pomfrey replied "Yes. They are both fine, the Headmaster's arm was reattached quite easily also." It was said in a neutral tone, as though unsure as to how the news would be received.

"That's good. And you can relax, I'm Harry again."

"You will forgive us if we will remain sceptical until testing, I am sure." The grandfatherly man injected as he strode into the room.

"Of course," Harry stated from his uncomfortable position "I am becoming quite the accomplished Occlumens though, so I would probably be capable of resisting Veritaserum." The man looked unhurt, which was a good sign. Harry didn't really want the old coot to break a hip or anything.

"I am going to administer three drops anyway, and I would like you to drop your mental defences. I believe that I am suitably skilled at the art of Legilimency for such circumstances to overcome even Tom's mastery of Occlumency."

The boy nodded his assent and found a pale wand pointed directly between his eyes. A whispered _'Legilimens'_ and Harry allowed his defences to fall at the surprisingly gentle onslaught of mind magic.

Twenty _long_ minutes later the Headmaster agreed to let him out of his restraints, and the teenager stated "You owe me dinner."

"What was that my boy?" Dumbledore asked, though he'd heard the Harry's words precisely.

"That one experience was more emotionally significant than a full year's worth of sex. You owe me dinner, at a _very_ fancy restaurant." It was stated directly, as something that _will_ happen, regardless of the circumstances "Now, do you know what happened?"

The sudden change in direction actually caught the man off guard "...Yes, I have a very detailed theory Harry, one which furthers my suppositions as to the immortality of your parent's murderer."

"Care to share?"

An incredibly frustrated frown knitted the man's brows together.

"I cannot. The magic preventing me from giving you aid appears also to be preventing me..." there was a heavy pause "...I find myself incapable of even _thinking _about these things in your presence, currently I have an overwhelming desire to converse with you about my socks once again. It is most trying."

"We will speak following the completion of this stupid tournament then." The boy said this far more firmly than any fourteen year old had any right to, and that was not counting the man he was talking to is considered by many to be the most powerful in the world.

"Yes we shall. I would have done so following your release from Azkaban Prison had I not wished to give you a term to recuperate from the ordeal." What frustrated the old man was that he could not even advise against using too much magic, as that would be helpful advice when it came to competing in the competition.

'Perhaps if I repeatedly inform Sirius Black as to how tiring using magic can be, and then keep telling him that I always find it best to avoid such exhaustion whenever possible.'

"I require your Pensieve, I will need to figure out a few things on my own."

','

_"Avada Kedavra" _A jet of green flashed out in the Room of Requirement and the conjured baby panda dropped dead to the ground without theatrics.

"If the word at large gets wind of you doing this, they are going to be even _more_ convinced you're about to turn into a Dark Lord." Sirius really didn't like this new aspect to his godson's training sessions.

"At this point I'm actually amazed you can think their opinions matter to me even a little bit." Seeing that the older man was going to make yet another comment about how magic can be inherently evil Harry went on "I didn't just jump into this either, I went to visit Bella again and she told me to be careful with some of the stuff which was used that night, and she suggested I work on the Unforgivables first because they are the safest to learn without a teacher."

"You are going to end up back in your cell you know, and this time you are _not _going to be innocent."

"They aren't even that bad Sirius, if I killed someone with a _'Reducto'_ to the face they'd be just as dead, and let's be honest, it'd likely be in a far more painful fashion. Just think of it as a slightly more permanent stunner for people you do not wish to see again, for instance your old friend Wormtail would make a good example of a human being you might aspire to 'stun' in such a way."

It was a very strange, not to mention painful experience going through the Second Task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Following his taking down of the Totem obstacles it was as though he were looking through his own eyes, but being unable to move his body, or be even capable of _thought _itself. Yet he saw, and even _felt _himself commanding magic at a level far superior to anything he had been able to do before.

The downside far outweighed the benefits of course, but the experience itself was still very valuable.

It was not that Harry suddenly got all of the knowledge piecemeal unfortunately, as he really wanted to be able to create a magical construct in the shape of a Hydra without having to practice. Through the use of Albus' Pensieve he _had_ worked out the Parsel-Chant Harrymort had be using –essentially it was calling forth ancient power and so on using overly flowery language– but with Bellatrix warning he had decided not to actually attempt to make one himself without a competent instructor present.

Postponing the learning of that awesome twisted mass of purple energy was also a reluctant decision he came to, as well as most of the Dark Curses he had been using in what Sirius named a spell-string, or spell-chain pretty much interchangeably.

Basically for the time being Harry had resolved to learn the two Unforgivables he was now certain he was capable of. This certainty was due to the very _vivid_ memory of which emotion was necessary to power them; the Killing Curse required him to really wish the target dies, and the Torture Curse required the caster to actually desire the target feel pain and suffering.

Pretty simple, and Luna was very interested in learning to properly cast _'Avada Kedavra'_ for basically the same reason Harry was; namely that it was clearly a very useful spell.

"I still don't think you should be learning this Harry, they are called Unforgivable for a good reason." His oldest friend chipped in once more. Hermione -unlike Luna- really _didn't_ want anything to do with this, and had been putting forth considerable effort to 'bring him to his senses' so to speak.

"I'm only learning a couple of new things, what's the big deal, you liked _'Zbax'_ the Shield Buster didn't you?" He said ignoring her concerns

Hermione immediately protested this "Breaking someone's shield is not even the same as killing them and you know it Harry!"

Other than the two Unforgivables, they had found a pretty nifty Blanket Banisher, a way to palm Snape's famous _'Sectumsempra'_ that even Sirius had never seen before, and Hermione's favourite, the Shield Buster.

Using his last new trick, not even dragged from the Pensieve, Harry wandlessly turned the irises of his eyes a deep malevolent scarlet "Ah child, I believe you are beginning to outlive your usefulnes-_ss_" he hissed trailing off into Parseltongue again.

"I wish you wouldn't do that Harry, it's creepy."

"Sirius liked it, and even you admit the look on Snape's face in Potions was funny." What Harry found kind of disturbing was that VoldePotter, or whatever the hell they are going to end up naming him, he actually seemed to imply that _Hermione_ was the reason Krum won the Task. This should be amusing, but really it's kind of... weird, and he sort of just decided not to mention it to his bushy haired friend.

Smiling his godfather ordered "Stick the Snivellus memory in the Pensieve Harry, I want to watch it again."

Shaking his head Harry complied while demanding conjured animals to slay mercilessly, "Fine but I want more baby pandas Sirius!"

','

Harry had been putting this off for too long already, but he _had _promised to buy his blonde friend a cup of tea at what he later found out was the monstrosity that was Madam Puddifoot's. The tea shop off the main street of Hogsmeade had a reputation far more horrifying to the average student than an Unforgivable Curse, and even when it was _not_ in fact Valentine's Day the place was still steeped in enough sugary sweetness to instantly strike down the unwary with diabetes.

At least the weather wasn't too bad, he would have preferred downpours of rain and a good old fashioned thunderstorm. Still, dry and blowy beat a soaking, and for Scotland in March it was not too cold. Things, at least the weather, could seriously have been worse.

"Cheer up Harry this is going to be fun." The demonic blonde insisted joyfully.

'If I'd _not_ hacked off most of the January Hogsmeade weekend saying I needed to train for the task, this would be over with by now' Harry thought despondently. "I'm going to buy you the most expensive tea there is Luna, just let's keep this brief okay. Maybe we can go say hello to Albus' brother when we're done?"

He was _not_ hopeful though.

Crossing into the side street toward the dreaded building his companion started "Oops, silly me. I forgot the surprise" while pulling out a Potion which Harry could make a decent guess as to its purpose.

'Yep, Polyjuice again. Damn woman, who are you going to change into this time?'

"Draco Malfoy" he flatly managed to squeeze out in disbelief "I have to sit in an overly romantic setting and buy tea for who everyone will think is Draco Malfoy."

"You weren't complaining the _last_ time I used Polyjuice Potion Harry." Luna said with a meaningful look, sort of challenging him to deny it.

'That was completely different, where the hell does she even get so much of the stuff, it's not like it is a simple potion to brew?'

Deciding it would not be a good idea to begin crying in the middle of the street, he confidently pushed the door holding it open for his blonde date, and her -now no longer suspicious- Unisex Robes.

Things went downhill from there. Although Rita Skeeter herself was nowhere to be seen, Harry did spy a man he believed to be Bozo. Where the former Slytherin's photographer was, she would not be far away.

'Fuck it.'

"Draco, have I ever told you your eyes look..." Harry choked back bile and refused to turn green "...beautiful in the..." 'come on Harry you can do it' "...Spring sunshine?"

'Yay, score one for the ex-convict, he didn't hurl.'

Luna immediately began playing along.

Harry decided that the article in the Prophet was going to be worth it.

','

"And Sirius was telling me there is this Troll running for the position of Brazilian Minister of Magic." After he had gotten over the absurdity of the situation Harry found he was quite enjoying his date. Even when she was someone else she was still Luna, it's just that the quirky girl looked different that's all.

"Really? I didn't think many of the ICW constituent nations were all that big on creature rights."

"For the most part you would be right, they are not. Apparently the Hack Administration is really doing some good things, going in new directions and all that."

"Hack? You mean that was _true_? Daddy didn't run the story because he thought the guy who wrote it was just making the whole thing up."

Surprised Harry said "I never knew your father ran a newspaper."

"Oh yes, the Quibbler is the only accurate source of free journalism in Britain. Besides 'Easy Beekeeping' of course."

"Of course." Strolling arm in arm with the blonde girl/boy Harry noticed a man crossing the street he vaguely remembered sitting next to at the Yule Ball. "Hold on, I might have a picture of him in the newspaper Sirius gave me."

Luna took it and reading the title 'Hack: International Troll of Mystery' she made the exact same comment Harry made when he saw it; "Nice shades."

"Yeah, I want a pair." A man with an extremely severe moustache- 'Crouch, that was his name. I remember now, Percy Weasley idealises him' -tossed what appeared to be a Knut in the dark haired boy's direction.

There was an unfamiliar tug somewhere behind his navel and Harry vanished from sight.

','

He hit the floor heavily in a room with no light, no windows, and one thick metal door. He still had his wand which was good, there are negation wards preventing its use which was not good.

About ten minutes later the door cracked open and a shadowy figure was lit from behind by painfully bright white light, obscuring the person's features entirely. 'It doesn't matter what he looks like, he kidnaps me that means he is an enemy.'

Harry took a moment and focused all of his magic into a sole desire; 'Heat, I want heat NOW!'

A column of raw fire churned from both the green eyed man's hands, wave after wave building and lessening in intensity with the ebb and flow of his magic. For more than a solid minute he kept up the scorching flames before the eerie tickling of a headache began to break out, signalling a changeover was about to occur.

He cut the wandless fire short to prevent the obvious problems associated with becoming Voldemort, and took in the figure.

"Impressive."

A bright flash of red and everything went black.

Fighting back to consciousness an indeterminate length of time later Harry felt groggy and out of it. His thoughts slow and fleeting, as if they were water and he was attempting to drink from a cup riddled with holes.

'A drink of water, that would be nice.' He may or may not have said it out loud.

Drinking the tasty water he slipped back to oblivion.

Clawing his way back to wakefulness what must have been a long time later Harry noticed that thinking was difficult, like -something strange or unusual- was happening. Maybe. He wasn't sure because it was hard to remember things. There was a bright flash of red, and everything went dark.

It had been a long time, Harry was sure of that. Being sure, that was a good sign. Harry was confident that he was certain about something. He's not entirely sure _why_ being confident about it having been a long time was a good sign, but it was.

He took note of where he was, a bare room. No windows, no light. 'Yes! Of course, I remember now. The door will open and I will fight. Not heat, not fire. Come on think damn it, you, you're Harry, Harry Potter. Heat is bad, no work, will no work, not work, heat bad.'

He didn't recall _why_ fire would not work but he knew it wouldn't, and he knew that someone, something, would open the door. He would fight. He always did.

When the door cracks open after what may have been hours, it was hard to tell in pitch darkness with only the intermittent sound of rats to mark time, a figure backlit by painful light was greeted by a bolt of jagged electricity. A shock of static powerful enough that Muggles once thought a wizard named Zeus must have been the most powerful god in creation.

There was the metallic taste of ozone floating strongly in the air as the lightning cleared.

Then a bright flash of red knocked the boy unconscious.

','

"Wakey, wakey Harry Potter, how have you enjoyed our hospitality?" Clarity, sweet clarity. For the first time in what felt like years Harry's mind was his own. Looking left and right he found himself tied to a gravestone and from the light it had either just gone dawn or was about to turn to dusk. "You have been with us for eighteen days Harry Potter, surely we have made some impression on you by now?"

"Well, if it's feedback your organisation desires I'd be inclined to say something along the lines of; while the accommodations were first rate the room service was terrible."

Had the dark haired boy not had bigger problems he would have noticed the ragged, singed, and torn nature of his clothing, and the fact that he stank to high heaven. His pretty red haired captor clearly didn't hold Harry's personal hygiene or appearance in high regard.

"Amusing... as always Harry." She then stabbed him.

"Ouch... So anyway, what have you been doing with yourself Ginny? Personally I've been spending most of my time trying to get into an attractive French girl's panties." 'Whatever she has tied me to this gravestone with is tough, I wish I had my wand.'

Harry noticed a man with dirty blonde hair and watched as he sliced off his arm and throw it into a cauldron. 'Riiight, that was totally gross.' Soon after, the girl moved over to the man, being careful not to lose any of Harry's blood from the tip of the knife.

"I have been quite well Harry, studying up on my history for the most part. And of course spending time with my disembodied Lord and Master."

"Sounds like a blast. Any chance of me getting my Holly wand back, it kind of has sentimental value to me?" A dazzling smile from the well developed thirteen year old was accompanied by a shaking of her head which signalled the negative "Shame... Soooo, we're resurrecting Voldemort then? I've always wanted to take the Dark Mark, really get a chance to make a difference in evil y'know."

Finally allowing Harry's blood to drip from the knife blade into some kind of massive cauldron, she didn't reply, and a short time later the potion was finished and the smoke cleared. Harry found himself treated to a full frontal of the re-bodied Dark Lord. A little more than he really wanted to see, and a little less than he'd actually expected to see "Not a fan of the ladies I'm guessing?"

He ignored this and started on the brief history of Tom Riddle. 'Ah monologuing, it's a classic. Hell who am I kidding, I'd totally be doing the same thing if I was a Dark Lord.' Voldemort stopped short and looked up at Harry "That got through my Occlumency barriers didn't it?"

"Indeed."

"Would you by any chance like to explain all of your plans to me?" Harry asked hopefully.

The two stared at one another for a long time, Harry's skill at mind magics at this point was well up to the task of defending against a Legilimency attack without an incantation. "I think it is best I kill you now, rather than make sport of the occasion."

The redhead looked up at this confused and Harry countered "Probably for the best, I'm way more powerful than you anyway."

The last was said right when Lord Voldemort's Inner Circle Apparated in to the graveyard. 'They heard that Flighty, what are you gonna do?' Harry allowed the taunt through his shields.

"Untie him and give him back his wand."

'You're going to lose.' Harry thought in a sing songy voice. "You know, if you'd let me Cruciate and then murder Lucius Malfoy I would have probably joined you guys."

The Inner Circle found this statement uncomfortable and began shifting their collective weight as Harry was handed the Horntail wand once used by Sirius' grandfather.

"_Avada Kedavra_, Bumblebee."

The onrushing death magic which spewed out from twelve and a quarter inches of Elm was used solely as a distraction. A wandlessly summoned gravestone impacted brutally with the back of Voldemort's head, viciously stoving in the man's newly physical brains. With a whispered activation phrase to his wrist, Harry portkeyed to the Headmasters Office.

','

Giggling madly Harry was helped to his feet by a surprised and relieved Albus Dumbledore. "Harry my boy are you alright, please do your best to calm yourself."

In between giggles he got out that he was in fact fine for the most part, and that he was laughing because something had happened that was just too damn funny for words.

'Of course the Headmaster gave me a portkey Voldemort you stupid prick, he's a good man and he is not stupid.'

Four hours, a much needed shower, an incredibly powerful and dangerous Purging Potion later, and Harry was most of the way toward recovery. With no broken bones and nothing but a little malnutrition, the only problems the Healer was concerned about were the strange potions his captors had been using on him. So using Snape's borderline Purging Potion pretty much solved their biggest concern.

Harry had stuck his memory of events into the well travelled Pensieve of Albus Dumbledore, and the group were looking over the events.

"You have got to be the craziest bastard in the world to just stand there taunting them and exchanging witty banter like you don't even care." Sirius actually sounded more proud of this one fact than he ever had been of anything else in his life.

"Were you not scared at all Harry?" Hermione voiced it, but Luna looked just as bad. The two girls must have been worrying about him a lot over the past, not quite three weeks.

"Of course not, what's the big deal it's just a Dark Lord?"

He conspicuously didn't scream _'Are you fucking kidding me, I was shitting myself the entire time! Being really good at Occlumency means I know how to hide it' _but Albus probably picked up on that.

"Besides, I _did_ look fucking badass didn't I?" The collective refusal to admit this underscored in Harry's mind that he did _totally _look badass "What I want to know is, why was I held for so long? I mean I might have been rescued in the time between then and now. Any ideas about what's so special about today?"

After a bit of arguing the only _fact_ that the group came up with was that today was three days after the Spring Solstice, and overall it was kind of concluded that this must be significant in some way.

','

"So the blonde 'arm chopping off' guy from the rebirth ritual turned out to be an escaped Azkaban prisoner named Bartemius Crouch Junior, the son of that straight laced guy who is in charge of International Magical Cooperation at the Minisrty. And that Bartemius Crouch Senior has been under the Imperius Curse for months, and _he_ is the one who put my name in the Goblet of Fire. And furthermore, we assume that at least _some of the time _Junior has spent being Polyjuiced to look like Senior, so that they can get important things done and a loyal Death Eater can be on Hogwarts grounds when it's important. Following?"

Luna appeared to be, Hermione was frowning slightly but took up Harry's train of thought "And Ginny Weasley was the _real _Heir of Slytherin, and is still being possessed by a sixteen year old version of Tom Riddle from when he attended Hogwarts, before he became Lord Voldemort. Is that right?"

'Erm, I must not have told her that I knew it was Ginny releasing the Basilisk since the Chamber. Oops better not mention that.' "Yeah, that was a shock all round, I'll tell you that for free." 'Probably too cheerful there Harry, well done.'

The brunette continued "And if what Snape said is true, you successfully killed Voldemort again by smacking him in the back of the head with a gravestone. And Crouch Junior is walking around with two silver hands now, so we assume that some of your blood remained on the knife for the Inner Circe to resurrect him again."

"Yep." Harry agreed "And he also said the Death Eaters seem scared of me. Or at least wary, which is a good thing either way."

After a while in confused silence Sirius broke in "This isn't preparing you for the Third Task, get off your arse and get some training done."

"Three months and we can finally get the Headmasters help, I for one am looking forward to some more overarching answers." Padfoot nodded and hurled the first curse.

','

Excluding a real date with Fleur Delacour, one which didn't involve any kidnapping or bizarre hijinks on Harry's part, things settled back to the normal routine. Of course nobody believed Voldemort was actually back, but Harry just accepted that as par for the course. He'd shown the Pensieve memory to a bunch of people and the Rita Skeeter article for the Quibbler was what landed him the Veela date.

The French Government had been interested in hearing the story from the horse's mouth so to speak, but even Fleur would admit it had been a pleasant evening regardless.

Now it was June 24th three days after the Summer Solstice, 'looks like it really _is_ significant to the ritual,' and Harry was about to enter the third task; a maze with all kinds of obstacles and scary monsters. Sexy Dragon leather boots in place Harry's adopted a slouch of relaxed competence which his competition now accepted as genuine.

"Good luck you guys" three uncertain looks from the others and he went on "I actually mean it this time by the way, because you are the _real _school champions and I was only suckered into this as an assassination attempt."

First allowed into the maze Harry didn't even bother looking like he was in a hurry. He simply walked lazily into the darkness followed by an eager Spyfly.

Strolling through the task Harry added many more kills to his name. 'I guess this is what the public wants.' He thought to himself sadly 'At least I get to stock up on awesome Potions ingredients, maybe an Acromantula carapace wand holster or something.'

"Come on Fleur my dear, let's get on with this foolishness."

"'Arry, I-," the French champion trailed off. Then something else apparently sprang into her mind "Did you incapacitate 'ze Sphinx?"

He sniffed a laugh "Yeah, blunt force trauma, and Hoarfrost works well against them."

"I think you were supposed to answer 'ze riddle and eet would 'ave let you past."

Harry thought it over "Oh, _that's_ what she was talking about. It makes so much more sense now."

Arriving at the Trophy he just looked expectantly at the shorter girl. 'Strange, I always imagine her towering over me like she's a Giant and I'm a helpless firstie.'

"What?" she asked confused.

"You took down that Acromantula, you could have just left me and you would have won."

"I want to win 'zis Tournament but I never would 'ave stood by an' allowed you to be eaten."

"Hoarfrost, unconscious Sphinx, remember? I'd have been fine. Besides I don't need the money, nor do I care about the fame. And I didn't even enter the bloody competition, now take the win before I attempt an Imperius on you and make you do it anyway."

She got a mulish look on her face at this, 'she'd have been a bloody stubborn Griffindor I just know it,' and countered with "We share 'ze victory 'zen. 'Ogwarts an' Beauxbaton both win."

Rolling his eyes Harry just agreed with the girl's foolishness.

There was a tug behind the navel.

...

"Kill the spare."

','


	6. A Beautiful and Terrible Thing

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Six: A Beautiful and Terrible Thing

','

With a flick the French woman's platinum blonde hair brushed lightly across the dark haired man's face and he was once again offered a scent which had been growing on him throughout the year, a scent that reminded him of spring days in his youth. Comparing his experience growing up in his relative's dubious care, with that of time spent in Azkaban filled the fourteen year old with an odd sense of nostalgia to be working in light rain tending to his roses. He found it strange that the beauty before him cold bring out pleasant memories from a time he always thought of as hell.

"We share 'ze victory 'zen. 'Ogwarts an' Beauxbaton both win." She said in English heavily accented in her native timbre.

'Hmm, she must really be getting worked up about this particular bit of foolishness.' Harry thought in amusement. Raising an eyebrow at her mulish look he acquiesced with a tired "Fine."

Grasping her left hand in his right the two placed their free hands on the angular cup, and for the second time in his eventful life Harry felt the navel hooking sensation which marked Portkey travel. He crashed to the ground as always when experiencing magical forms of transportation and it saved his life, as a spear of crystalline blue rocketed through the place where his chest would otherwise have been.

"Kill the pair!" an aristocratic voice ordered, -although it was misheard by the teen- who rolled to the side and instantly unleashed a swelling mass of Hoarfrost from his Horntail wand. The spell was on the tip of his mind thanks to his recent conversation with the Veela girl.

The mass of frigid magic impacted the unsuspecting Death Eaters who were lined up for an instant victory and so were not expecting to be faced with hastily organised resistance. Flashes and bangs were traded between the two champions and their dark cloaked foes, back to back they covered one another as lances of power crashed into Fleur's powerfully cast golden dome.

"_Avada Kedavra"_ from the dark haired man and a pudgy masked figure took his last breath offered the two with an opening "Get through that door Fleur, my Portkey is not functioning."

European accent strong the blonde sang out the five syllables of a limb severing curse _'Conseco Artus' _a bright blue ribbon raced out over her shoulder as the two charged forward, onward through the unknown of this mansion like fortress.

','

Some long time later the two champions found themselves at a dead end, the warren of curving and interconnected corridors having gotten them thoroughly lost. There were no windows to be seen and Harry had concluded whatever this place was, it was either built completely underground, or was the colossal basement of some other building.

Taking in his companion's look of focus as she was clearly attempting to think of a way out of her current situation, Harry once more noticed that the woman was well, hot. There was simply no other word for it, messy hair and scrapes really did _add_ to the woman's image "Will you stop looking at me an' 'elp think of a way out of this 'Arry" Fleur demanded shaking him from his thoughts.

As he was about to respond a stabbing pain lanced through his forehead, similar to but subtly different from the sensation indicating a changeover, and as Harry's hand raced to his famous scar he changed what he was about to say "He's here, Voldemort-, they've called him."

"Yes_ss_ I am here Harry Potter. I do not think you will escape me this time." The bald headed form of Voldemort declared in high pitched sibilant tones following a silent Apparition into the room.

Magic bleeding off the self styled Dark Lord made it clear that he was far out of Harry's league in terms of magical power, green eyes span to face him anyway, cheekily throwing out "I don't know what you're talking about Flighty ma boy. I've successfully killed you three times now, and even dispatched your pet snake back when I was a second year." All the while he was thinking 'Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! We need to get out of here now. We can't get out of here because there is a madman standing in front of the only door. Any bright ideas there Harry, besides more taunting I mean?'

Voldemort's eyes predictably narrowed in fury and Harry found himself recovering from an unimaginably powerful Cruciatus Curse to the sight of a softly glowing French girl utilising borderline magics. Forcing himself to his feet through the residual pain he whispered _"Pupugi"_ to let fly his trademark Dragon Slaying Curse, and the effectively transparent piercing magic cut a deep gash through his neck missing the targeted eye at the last instant.

With a roar the twisted man's firing speed went through the roof and the two teenagers fell back on the complete defensive. Harry recognised a portion of the String Voldemort was using as the same one the Champion had used himself following the Second Task. Knowing the moment a churning black red spell was about to be cast, Harry realised that his companion was going to be incinerated and there was no shield he could cast to stop it. And worse, she was barely on her feet in the corner, so he could not tackle her out of its path.

'I _need_ a solid guardian, Need. I want, I need, a solid guardian.' The thought blazed through Harry's mind and he pushed his intent through his magic, draining it brutally. No time to see if it worked Harry dove to close the distance and let fly the pretty, calming green of a Killing Curse, before blacking out to prevent a changeover.

','

'This place really should be re-named the Harry Potter Wing of Hogwarts' the exhausted teenager thought sardonically, 'combine my fame with the number of hours I've spent here and I should be able to swing that.'

"Awake again I see Mr. Potter." The school Healer said as though she was in fact _expecting_ to see him following the Third Task.

"Maybe you should start calling me Harry..." a thought occurred to him "...You know Poppy, you must have seen me naked more times than any other woman on earth. Interested in me showing my appreciation for all the care and attention?" he said wiggling his eyebrows.

Shaking her head without answering the school Healer got back to performing the diagnostic charm, and just as Harry noticed her eyes drift to the top right corner of the room he injected "Get your mind out of the gutter woman, you're supposed to be a professional."

She blushed brilliantly at being caught out, and Harry smiled winningly at the woman who he decided _was_ actually looking pretty good for being in her late forties.

While it was clearly the dead of night Harry did not have to wait long before an entourage of people scuttle into the Hospital Wing and he asked anyone and everyone the question he most wanted answered "Well then, what the hell happened this time?"

"It appears as though Voldemort somehow diverted the Portkey which was placed on the Triwizard Cup to take you to Malfoy Manor." Albus eventually answered.

"Malfoy Manor huh? Did I kill the Dark Lord again?"

It was Fleur who answered "Oui. I managed to carry you out of 'ze wards an' back to 'Ogwarts once you fainted."

"I did _not_ faint!" Harry exploded vehemently, "And why didn't you _Ennervate_ me so I could have walked the last path to the castle under my own strength?"

Huffing about ungratefulness she went on "I was about too, only then I decided you would 'ave stunned me and told everyone it was you who did 'ze actual rescuing!"

'Damn, that _was_ actually my first thought, the woman is becoming too good at reading me that's for sure!'

"You did a Full Animal Conjugation... wandlessly. It was great!" Sirius cut in excitedly, "I watched Mlle. Delacour's memory in the Pensieve. It looked just like Hagrid's pet Hippogriff Buckbeak, and it kind of dove into this black and red spell."

"Indeed, it appeared to distract Voldemort long enough for you to deliver a Killing Curse." That last said with a disapproving look on his bearded face.

Thinking for a while as the others chatted Harry was beginning to feel the fatigue which accompanied healing once again, "So I'm Four and Oh now, at some point someone is going to have to explain to me what makes this guy the _most powerful_ Dark Lord in history..." eyes drooping from one potion or another, he muttered the last as sleep took him "...he seems kind of a pansy to me."

','

Leaning against a solid marble wall the perfect image of an attractive teenage girl, the redhead was studying an eleven inch length of Holly in admiration as 'it' had done many times before. Diagnostic Spells ran on the artefact had shown that there was a good reason the wand was as well matched as the thirteen and a half inch Yew wand the individual was most familiar with. The magical core this wand used was from a Phoenix, a tail feather taken from precisely the _same_ Phoenix as the other, far more familiar wand. Which was a good enough explanation as to the redhead's good fortune as any.

The individual did not have a name. It did however have a purpose. It once had two purposes, but with the death of the Basilisk the only thing left to do was resurrect its master. It was forced to do so a second time as 'its' master had once again gotten himself killed by a teenage boy, requiring 'it' to scrape up dried blood from the floor near where Voldemort had fallen.

The scraped blood was to be used in a rebirth ritual today, as today was three days following a Summer Solstice. And as the redhead had a hastily constructed Homunculus body had been finished mere minutes previously, allowing the ritual to go ahead once again.

What had the once Ginny Weasley conflicted however, was the certain knowledge that 'it' would have likely stood up much better against the two Champions, than 'its' far more powerful master ostensibly had.

A circumstance which was ridiculous in the extreme.

Watching dispassionately when Lucius Malfoy shuddered as he separated his left hand and dropped it into a large bubbling cauldron, the redhead walked over as 'it' had done three months before and added blood -forcibly taken from Harry Potter during the fight, the same day, from this very location- into the same cauldron. It clearly spoke the appropriate words and completed the ritual flawlessly.

The Dark Lord Voldemort -an anagram of his birth name- robed himself and set about creating the specifically requested _golden hand_ for his Inner Circle follower. He then made a grand showing of how vitally important it was to acquire the full wording of a _"Prophecy"_ of all things, which seemingly had been the cause of his first downfall.

The Death Eaters present were all overawed at their Masters capacity for surviving death, and they cheered at their new objective.

The redhead went back to its study of the Holly wand, deep in conflicted thought.

','

The end of fourth year had approached and Harry Potter was thinking back over the previous week since his newest kidnapping and the most recent dispatching of his family's murderer. Other than a night spent with Trace as he had been doing intermittently throughout the year, and a more than pleasant meal on the Beauxbatons carriage enjoying a world class serving of salmon in mushroom sauce, his week had been relaxingly uneventful.

The one regret on Harry Potter's mind was that Fleur had gotten to the press before he could, so his whole heroic princess rescuing story had been foiled before he could even get it off the ground.

Looking over at his godson Sirius said "You're thinking about the girl again aren't you?"

"Yeah, can you imagine her face if people start asking her about how brave and heroic I am, while they all think she was yelling 'save me, save me' the whole time. That would have been awesome!"

Hermione interjected "I heard that she's sworn never to set foot outside of France until she is married and has children. You do not make the best impressions on people Harry."

Turning away from the Black Lake Harry said "Come on, let's go get the full story out of Albus. I really shouldn't have put it off until the last day."

The dog animagus followed saying quietly to Harry "Yeah, I for one want to know what happened to Remus."

...

"You do not know what happened to Remus Lupin?" the Headmaster half questioned, half stated twenty minutes later in his office. The disbelieving question looked as though it had aged the man fifty years.

'This does not sound good,' Harry thought 'it's like he thought we already knew something bad had happened.'

It was actually Hermione who answered in a small voice "Professor Lupin was a Werewolf, and he lost control of his transformation during a full moon at the end of last year. I-, I didn't know he was your friend."

"What do you mean Hermione?" Sirius demanded in a flat voice.

"Professor Snape killed him to save me."

"..." the room was stunned for a moment at this revelation.

"WHAT!" the animagus roared, as he span to leave the room with little doubt as to his destination.

The door back to the hallway slammed shut at Dumbledore's command "This is not the subject I expected to be discussing this evening. I assure you it was not done out of malice, please watch the Pensieve memory and judge for yourself what Remus would have wanted to happen in the situation."

','

"I'm still going to kill Snape. What makes you think the memory is even genuine?" Harry's godfather declared yet again after an hour of argument. Harry himself could see both sides. A feral werewolf going berserk around schoolchildren, and if the man was anything like Sirius had attested he would have preferred to be killed rather than pass on his affliction. It could have played out the way Dumbledore claimed, not everyone got a happy ending unfortunately. Harry knew that in his bones.

"What subject _did_ you anticipate discussing this evening Albus?" the green eyed man enquired, hoping to move beyond the bad news for a while.

Taking the out with a look of relief mixed with one of trepidation, the aged man said one pluralised word "Horcruxes."

"Good, new information, I half expected for you go on about the damned Prophecy Sirius told me about, _'Power to Vanquish the Dark Lord' _and all that bollocks."

"Oh, the Prophecy, yes I shall give you the full wording first..." Seeing Harry's rolled eyes the Headmaster continued regardless.

After mulling it over the Harry asked "What's this crazy power I'm supposed to have? No wait, 'Neither can die while the other survives?' So does that mean I am just as immortal as he is?"

"Ye-s," Dumbledore confirmed the second warily "However the method by which Voldemort has attained his immortality leaves you at a distinct disadvantage." Waving for the man to go on Dumbledore complied "Your mother performed a ritual on you when you were a baby, and I believe a side effect of this ritual caused Voldemort to unknowingly transfer a small amount of his soul onto your famous scar. If I am correct in my supposition that tiny piece has entangled -meshed together as it were- with _your_ soul, rendering you as you say, 'just as immortal as he is.'"

'Okay, now that was not the kind of statement I could have predicted in like a million years.' Harry thought incredulously. Eventually he voiced a conclusion "Those changeover headaches when I use too much magic in one sitting, that's the sliver of the Dark Lord's soul trying to take me over?"

"Indeed, I was quite confident in my conclusions, however the events following the Second Task were more than confirmation."

A long contemplative silence descended on the room as each became lost in their own thoughts. Hermione having the fastest moving brain was the first to ask a question "You mentioned a word; Horcrux. What does it mean may I ask?"

"A Horcrux is an item produced by a decidedly Dark Ritual. It involves sacrificing an innocent in order to damage a witch or wizard's soul. This ritual uses this damage to slice away a small section and encase it into an object which then becomes known as a Horcrux." Seeing that everyone was following his description Dumbledore continued "And I have reason to believe Voldemort has created more than one."

A few seconds thought and Harry suggested "Ginny Weasley's Diary right? That must be why she's helping him."

"Alas I believe you are correct, the process has doubtlessly killed the poor girl by now. And if your tale at the climax of your second year is true, I believe her body is being used by a sixteen year old Tom Riddle."

Sirius and Hermione came to the same conclusion "So there could be hundreds of these Horcruxes scattered around the world, and they could look like anything and everything?"

Harry laughed, "They won't be old mars bar wrappers and tin cans Hermione. He's a maniac remember, I'd bet you anything he'd put one in the Ministry Atrium or something stupid like that just so he can laugh at everybody."

The Headmaster smiled a little at the phrasing "Yes, I have come to a similar conclusion. I also believe he would be limited in the number of Horcruxes he could make, knowing that the instability in his soul would kill him if he pushed it too far. As far as I am aware no-one else in history has successfully created more than one."

A while was spent going over the points again and Harry finally just quit "I'm going to bed, I want to spend a while thinking about this... Are you coming to_-, urg, damn Fidelius,-_ stay with us in an unnameable location at some point this summer Hermione?"

At her nod he distractedly swept from the room.

','

While Harry was zooming his way back to London on the Hogwarts Express, Sirius was ensconced in Dumbledore's Office arguing himself hoarse. "Why? What in heaven's name could he possibly say to convince you he is anything but a murderous bastard?"

"You saw the Pensieve memory as well as I. It is clear that without his aid Ms. Granger and her associate would have perished." The elder man insisted.

"The man is a master Occlumens, he can alter his recollections you have said so yourself. So that means you believe him for some other reason, tell me why. That bastard has gotten enough of my friends killed as it is and I will not take the risk."

"You are simply going to have to trust me Sirius." They argued on for the longest time, with Sirius doing most of the arguing while Albus stubbornly refused to give away any further information. Eventually the Headmaster managed to get in a change of topic "What plans do you have for this summer, I assume Harry is going to continue practising beneath the wards of the House of Black?"

He looked mulish for an instant thinking on whether he was going to leave the topic of his old friend's demise alone for the moment "Yes we are, and probably research the Horcrux Ritual. You should give us the books you have to save us some time though, because we are going to find out about it regardless as to whether you think it _safe_ knowledge to have."

"I was planning on it Sirius. There is little of value I can teach Harry myself which you could not for the time being, not until he learns more of the basics of magic at any rate. However I would advise you to teach him the _Imprimis Patrocinor_ shield if you know how to produce one."

Thinking the animagus went on "No, I haven't tried to teach him. Why, do you think this is important?"

"It is imperative for him to know this. I will demonstrate, fire a cutting or bludgeoning spell at me." Dumbledore ordered clearly placing his wand on the table. _'Impactus'_ sent high level blunt force at the man's chest, which detonated quite harmlessly a short distance from him. "You _can_ cast one can you not?"

"A wandless shield, I didn't even know that was possible." Coming back to the earlier question he answered "I am able to cast one, but it takes me almost thirty seconds, so I have never used it in a real fight."

"Understandable, but you know it well enough to teach so that should be enough. Once he can do it with proficiency I would advise Harry to use the same intent wandlessly, this is how I produce the defence. Although it is quite draining I assure you."

Nodding along with this Sirius asked the thing which had been bugging him since he first saw the French girl's memory "How can a person Conjure something as complex as a Hippogriff without a wand Albus?"

"I have a suspicion, nothing more." The old man intimated stroking his long white beard "I do not believe he did. I remember a time in my youth when I accidentally transfigured my brother Aberforth into a goat when he was attempting to steal my hard candy. It was accidental magic of course, but amusing nevertheless, even my mother thought so."

Shaking his head at the ridiculous story he asked "So how did Harry do it then?"

"I believe he must have transfigured an insect or perhaps a rat, which I assume was in the room at the time. An incredible feat given how much you said he struggles in the area, but far from impossible."

The two talked for a while longer, Sirius brought together plans for how they were going to spend the summer, and getting what information he could about what the Order was up to. Eventually deciding he had gotten as much done at Hogwarts as he was going to Sirius got up to leave, still unsure as to whether or not he should kill Snape in cold blood.

','

As he walked down the dark path Harry was lost in thought. The Dark Lord was obviously dead set on killing him and Harry really could not condone such a course of action. The man _had_ killed his parents, but then again he had never met his parents so it's not like it was really all that much of a loss. No, what Harry was annoyed about was that the man keeps trying to kill him _now_, for _no_ gods damned reason at all.

Stepping into a well recognised alcove he waited for the Enforcer patrolling to pass by him in the corridor.

Harry was tempted to owl Voldemort the full contents of the Prophecy just to make sure the guy knew he was wasting his time. He wouldn't use Hedwig of course, she was much too valuable a friend to risk some head case harming her, but a post owl, why not?

Shrouded in his father's old Invisibility Cloak he continued on his way.

No, apparently the Dark Lord was wasting much effort to break into the Ministry, so he'll just leave it alone. Maybe he would be getting in the way of someone else's plans if he sent a letter to Voldemort. There was that other thing too, apparently Harry was for the most part invincible. And the only real downside was that he could not risk magical exhaustion because it had the high likelihood of him going berserk and killing everyone.

He began travelling down a long-ass flight of stairs.

That's just it though, he had only experienced _one_ changeover and that was only because he didn't know to be wary of it. He had completed a full Tri-Wizard Task, fought his way through a Mansion Fortress, and had successfully killed a Dark Lord _without_ suffering from enough magical exhaustion to become susceptible to the Soul Fragment. Surely that meant that Harry was competent enough _not_ to let it happen, and he could be happy in the knowledge that he was pretty much immortal. Even better, he had been given this great boon _without_ having to perform a dangerous soul damaging ritual like the Dark Lord had.

As he arrived at his destination Harry must acknowledge that he was sorely tempted by what was offered by this turn of events.

"Hey Bella, I brought you some more hot chocolate"

"Harryee" she squealed.

','

Lens of Sanity  
The comment to Poppy Pomfrey is an eye-axis trick and it _actually_ works in real life, try it and then tell the person you're psychic it's awesome … One thing happened in this chapter that I think I should bring to your attention:  
Dumbledore told Harry the **real prophecy** because the Blood Protection Guardian died while he was in Azkaban instead of Durzkaban. This way I can write Dumbledore as an actually helpful good guy in the story without my having to change canon too far.  
Ah Fleur is gone, sigh, that's the last we'll see of her...


	7. Is War Always This Much Fun

','

I always use the Prophecy wording; _'neither can __**die **__while the other survives'_ because I really _do_ think that wording is canon, and that Dumbledore lied to ensure Harry sacrifices himself in Bk7  
Both Harry and Voldemort are unmistakably _alive_ for large parts of the seven books, and neither being able to die would imply Harry is a Horcrux; meaning the Prophecy actually contains a piece of **useful** information, even if it's in a mealy mouthed twisted kind of way  
When I read it in Lionheart's story it was one of those _'OMG! I'm such an idiot for not seeing it sooner'_ moments

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Seven: Is War Always This Much Fun?

','

Stepping off the chugging motorbike and allowing the other man to retake the driving position, Harry looked back at his godfather and said "Well, that was an interesting experience."

"Are you sure you want me to just leave you here? You can't even Apparate on your own yet." Sirius replied.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I've got the portkeys anyway so no problem." The younger stated "And you are going to have to teach me to Apparate soon now that you mention it."

With a nod the man and bike disappeared with a loud crack of Side-Along Apparition which signalled Harry's arrival in a well put together suburban neighbourhood on the outskirts of Oxford. Looking about the obsessively maintained gardens Harry was forcibly reminded of where he grew up, only Hermione's Muggle home seemed somehow inherently more pleasant. 'Probably just my imagination' he thought idly.

Passing what looked to Harry like a brand new -and clearly expensive- car without pausing, he hammered on the front door in the sunlight of the early August evening. Harry smirked to himself at what he was about to do, and when the tall imposing figure of Hermione's father dragged open the door he said "Good evening sir, my name is Harry Potter and I have come to violate your daughter. Would it trouble you overmuch to send for her?"

The man was quite literally shocked into silence by this, shear disbelief that anyone could have said such a thing stupefying the man even more effectively than magic would have been able to. Before Mister Granger could reply his wife appeared behind him and said "You must be Harry, Hermione said you would be visiting."

"Charmed," he said trying for a Lockhart smile once again, -he was still unsure whether or not he could pull it off successfully- taking and kissing the back of her hand like Sirius had taught him he said "I can certainly see why your daughter is so popular, you are simply gorgeous ma'am."

The man's scowl deepened notably but the woman smiled and said "Why don't you come in and have a seat while I fetch her."

"I would love to _come_ in Mrs. Granger." Harry said looking directly at his friend's father. The man did _not_ imagine the emphasis.

Channelling his uncle Vernon's trademark vein throbbing Mr. Granger was not given the opportunity to speak before Harry found himself engulfed in a bone breaking hug. Library enhanced strength really doing a number on his back. 'Most people work out, Hermione fetches tons upon tons of books back and forth from the library,' he thought in amusement.

"Good to see you too. How come you never told me your family drove a Bentley Hermione?" Harry asked smiling.

Hermione in turn smiled at her father and said "You see daddy, I told you that you would like him didn't I? Although I didn't know you were into cars Harry."

The two school friends talked for a while about nothing much and Harry found the older man's restraint quite admirable. Eventually he got on with the reason he was there "Right Hermione," he said handing her a small teacup "...You said you wanted to come to this meeting the Headmaster is setting up. That is a portkey and it should take you directly to where Sirius and I live, at about five to nine understand?" she nodded and he handed the girl a piece of parchment written in Albus's loopy hand. "The building is under a Fidelius, so you have to memorise what is written there and then I need to destroy it."

'_The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.'_

"Got it?" at her acknowledgement Harry took the paper and said "Excuse me a moment, I need to use the bathroom." Then stood up, snagged a set of keys with a winged 'B' symbol on them, and headed right out the front door.

The roar of a six litre V8 and the distinctive sound of screeching tires, snapped the two Grangers out of their thoughts. Once they got out front of the house they were met with nothing but skid marks on their driveway and a four hundred horsepower luxury car vanishing around the corner.

"This. Is. The-, the... _Friend_, you were telling us about Hermione?" her father asked as Hermione began rubbing her temples.

As she joined the two her mother pitched in with "He seemed quite charming to me. Where did he go?"

"I suppose I shouldn't really be surprised." Hermione stated to her father's angry look "That's just Harry. Some days, most days maybe, he will save your life. But then there are days like today..." she trailed off.

"Days like today? Where he steals _my_ car?"

Turning back to the house she just answered tiredly "Yes. That is a pretty good description actually... Some days he steals your car."

','

"You told my father I was the school bike didn't you Harry!" Hermione screamed at him as he stumbled through the front door of Number Twelve a few hours later.

"What makes you think that Hermione?" Harry replied putting on a 'taken aback' posture.

With a further scowl the brunette continued "And what did you do with my father's car? He loves that car you know."

"Actually you should be thanking me for that. That Bentley was a death trap!" Harry insisted "Did you know it had a _blind spot,_ I mean you would think a car like that wouldn't have such a major design flaw would you?"

As she closed her eyes in an attempt to control her temper the girl calmly ordered "Explain."

"Well when I was on the trip back, these two really uncool guys in their stupid flashy lighted car sort of started tailing me. And like I said, the damn thing had a blind spot, it's not like it was entirely my fault it happened."

"What are you saying to me Harry?"

"Well..." At her look he just blurted "I kind of wrapped it around a police car. And then maybe Confounded the Muggles. And then sort of ran off." _'Protego!'_ "Gah, Hermione stop hexing me. I really was going to give it back. It was an accident I swear."

The distinguished members of the Order of the Phoenix began flooing in and entering through the door to the scene of an incapacitated fifteen year old. "Ow-, I'm th-owie Mi-nee!" Harry tried to get out behind comically lengthened teeth, an assortment of other minor hexes, and brutally tight _Incarcerous _ropes.

It was a full thirty minutes later when the damage and resulting explanations had been dealt with, that everyone had been seated in the kitchen to discuss whatever Albus had called the meeting for. 'That must be Sirius' cousin, Ms. Nymphetta Tonks. He said the girl was fond of bright colours.' Harry thought idly as the Headmaster began with inane platitudes.

Looking around as each was introduced Harry only recognised a few of the members. Mr. Weasley was there and who Harry would guess was the man's eldest son, but that was it for the redheads. A rumpled guy smelling strongly of firewhiskey was introduced as _Dung_ Fletcher, which Harry thought appropriate. An attractive woman in her mid thirties named Ms. Vance was standing next to that Professor Moody prick who had been teaching Defence last year, and the guys creepy eye seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time swivelled in his direction. A two fingered salute beneath his sleeve was clearly noticed, cementing in Harry's mind that the old bastard spent his time looking through peoples clothing; pervert.

"So how come Snivellus is part of this organisation, has he not killed enough of us for your liking Albus?" Sirius threw out as soon as the introduction was over. There had been other Order meetings but this was the first Harry had been to, and was the first Snape and Sirius both attended.

Seeing as his godfather was clearly not going to be answered Harry asked "I want to know how that one eyed one legged sociopath can be involved when he's clearly a danger to society."

"Aye, an' you should be in Azkaban where you belong. I can spot a dark wizard a mile away by smell alone, an' you are just no good boy." Moody spat and Harry mulled over whether or not he should ask how a person can _spot_ something by smell.

Regardless, the comments started a long round of bickering, which only ended when Dumbledore fired off one of his patented 'cannon blasts' deafening the room. "Now, if we may get on with the meeting, you can all feel free to come to me in private if you have any further concerns. Severus, would you be so kind as to share with us what Voldemort has been doing since his rebirth."

"There is a Prophecy in the Department of Mysteries with applies to the Dark Lord, and he has become fixated on its contents. He has several plans on to how obtain it, though I admit to not having the full details as he is sharing his thoughts with no-one."

Hearing this Harry thought 'Hmm, I'm glad I never sent that Owl now. I really would have scuppered a number of opportunities.' He asked one of the questions which had been on his mind lately "Any news on his plans for the Prisoners of Azkaban?"

"The Dark Lord has promised that those Death Eaters are to be rewarded for their loyalty." The Potions Professor sneered after a long moment of reflection.

"That's good." Harry stated aloud to himself clearly thinking of Bellatrix before he went on "So your main goal as an organisation is to out the guy to the whole world, and prove that I'm _not_ a big lying Dark Lord like the Prophet is painting me. Is that about right?"

The room sat in contemplation for a while, and then went back to bickering. At the end of the meeting Hermione pulled him aside and said "Harry, I don't think guarding the Hall of Prophecy is a very good idea, but I do have a different one that I think might work."

"Why didn't you say it to the room Hermione?"

"Because I wanted to run it by you first and we are going to need Luna's help."

','

Almost a month later found Harry Potter and his good friends Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood walking down the shopping district Diagon Alley for all the school supplies needed for the upcoming year. The school term started once more in just a few short days and this was the best time to get everything done in one sitting, although on the downside the streets were packed with other shoppers and their parents. A few fearful looks were shot at the _"Dark Lord_" and his female companions, but that was to be expected thanks to the avalanche of bad press the boy had been forced to deal with.

Suddenly a huge jagged bolt of lightning struck powerfully right in the middle of the street, when the light and smoke cleared a thick stench of ozone hung heavily in the air, and there stood the seven foot, noseless figure of the Dark Lord Voldemort. He was accompanied by a triad of masked Death Eaters, and a fourth which was the clearly _unmasked_ form of one Lucius Malfoy.

"Avast, Harry Potter. My great nemesis. You shall not escape me this time. Ha. Ha. Ha. Haa!" Lord Voldemort cackled beneath a '_Sonorus'_ as the shoppers all took note of what was happening. Many of them took cover, or scattered in flight altogether while the two foes looked one another over with scorn.

Harry turned to his adversary and said "Ah, Voldemort. We meet once again, do you like my boots?" gesturing down to the blue-grey dragon leather accessory.

"Yes-_sss _of course I do, they scream 'Harry Potter: Dragon Slayer.' But now is not the time, for we must duel. Is that not right Lucius-_sss_ Malfoy?" Voldemort said dropping off into Parsel for the ess's.

The two traded tremendous blows back and forth, big bright flashes of light and an immense conclave of energy that was bleeding off the Dark Lord made the duel one for the history books. The First Battle of Diagon Alley it would eventually be named, the opening battle in Voldemort's second war.

_"Crucio"_

Luna Lovegood went down in agonised screaming and Harry from his knees shouted a big "Noooo!"

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" The Dark Lord taunted to his disheartened opponent.

Just when things looked to be at their worst a powerful beard stepped into the middle of the battle, protecting the injured Luna and the exhausted Harry. "You cannot hope to win Tom, the light side is more powerful than you can possibly imagine. And Lucius, I cannot say I am surprised to see you here today."

With that the aged Headmaster and the feared Dark Lord begin to battle in earnest. An even _more_ impressive duel broke out with two opponents flaring a Visible Aura, and bright flashes, and thunderous bangs were being traded between the two. Eventually the Aurors show up and they witnessed several bone shattering spells harmlessly splash over Voldemort's wandless Imprimis Shield, and they heard the Dark Lord as he intoned a parting message "Avast! You may have won this time Dumbledore, but you cannot stop me forever. For I am invincible, Bwahahaha!"

With that Voldemort and the Death Eaters were gone from Diagon Alley, and the world now knew of the Dark Lord's rebirth.

','

"Why did you keep saying _Avast!_ Harry?" Hermione asked him as he set about removing the glamours which were making him look like Voldemort.

The black haired fifteen year old answered with a questioning look "What? Voldemort speaks in a pirate voice doesn't he?"

Hermione face palmed and Harry/Luna answered in Harry's distinctive tone "Not as far as I'm aware Harry. You were supposed to go for a kind of sibilant hiss. Remember?"

"Oh yeah..." Harry said "...Whatever, a pirate voice is close enough. How did your Simulacrum hold up to my Cruciatus Curse Luna?"

"Its toast. I am actually surprised at how good you are at the Torture Curse." Her usual distracted nature of speech was permeating the altered tone.

Harry thought on it a while and intimated "I think about Lucius Malfoy slipping an eleven year old Ginny Weasley the Diary. I kind of really _do_ want him to feel agonising pain. Is that weird?"

"A little, but I suppose that's a better emotion to use than most." Lucius stated as his image returned to the purple haired form of Sirius' cousin from her position between Harry's godfather and the two others who were setting about removing their fake Death Eater garb.

Hermione just let go of any attempt to reason with Harry and instead turned to her other friend "What about you Luna, was it really necessary to talk about his boots?"

"Harry is always going on about his boots, it made it look more authentic."

"You know she's right Hermione. My boots are awesome, of course the Dark Lord would comment on them before a duel." Harry said standing up for the blonde. "Besides, I think Luna does a very good me impression."

With a look to the heavens she replied "You guys are the worst actors in the world. There is no way _anyone_ is going to believe that was really Voldemort, you two totally ruined my perfectly good plan."

"Magical people are idiots Hermione, of course it's going to work. Here, I'll bet you a Galleon tomorrow's Prophet backs me up."

The brunette did not reply.

','

Earlier that morning Harry, Hermione, and Luna were manhandling a mannequin up Hogwarts stairs for a scheduled meeting with the Headmaster. It was empty for a while and Hermione spent the waiting time clearly enamoured with Fawkes the Phoenix who was currently in his chickadee form.

When the old man entered Harry didn't hesitate to throw in the reason they asked to meet with him "We've spent most of this month coming up with a way to out your Dark Lord."

"Really? And here I was under the impression that you _'did not wish to involve yourself in the wizarding world's problems.' _I believe those were the words you used, were they not?" Dumbledore stroked his beard idly and then offered "Would any of you like some tea?"

After shaking his head Harry transfigured a glass and poured in a vial of Amortentia as the other two took the proffered tea. "I still don't really want anything to do with the whole Voldemort situation. As far as I'm concerned that's got sod all to do with me, but if you had been reading the Prophet about three weeks ago the sheep started going on about throwing me back in Azkaban for Sedition."

"Yes, I am aware of that. Although I am unsure as to whether they would succeed."

"You will forgive me if I assume the worst I'm sure." Harry said flatly with irritated resignation "Anyway, Hermione came up with an idea and after a bit of tweaking we cobbled together a plan. I pose as Voldemort, talk Parsel, and get into a duel with someone Polyjuiced to look like me. We eventually decided that in order to make it more believable I should toss some Unforgivables about as well as go with an escort of Death Eaters."

The old man was thinking this over as he took a drink "Go on."

"You know what a Simulacrum is I am guessing?" Harry asked the Professor.

"A rough statue made of snow, given a heart of stone and treated with ointments not unlike Polyjuice, charged with a person's blood to give it that person's shape and form, then animated with advanced magics."

"And Luna volunteered to play the part of Harry, so we are going to charge this one with her blood." Gesturing to the mannequin the boy looked at the Headmaster directly, offering the full force of his green eyed stare.

"If you have gotten as far as the uncharged form, I would assume you have found the method of creation somewhere in the Black Library, given that a large number of spells necessary for their construction are illegal in this country."

Harry just nodded "We were unable to complete the final three spells, so we need you to do it. And we have another proposition if you agree to help."

"What is this other proposition?"

"We were thinking that you should come and be all 'fire and brimstone' Dumbledore and chase off _"Voldemort,"_ but mostly we thought that Snape could betray the plan and cement his loyalty in the Dark Lord's ranks... you _were_ going on about how he hasn't yet proven himself remember? Besides, if Snape makes it seem like he was lucky to hear about _my_ plan, and makes sure to tell his master that it had nothing to do with _you_ it shouldn't matter too much that he gets the information to Voldemort to late for it to make any difference."

After a few more moments in contemplation Albus nodded his assent, and Luna handed the man both necessary books. As he got to work completing her replica Dumbledore commented "I believe Nymphadora would be a good choice in accompanying you thanks to her rather unique talents."

Two and a half hours later Luna activated her Harry!Polyjuice, noting that the concoction turned completely transparent and had absolutely no taste whatsoever.

','

"I can't believe Sirius is making me ride the Express _again_!" Harry said in annoyance on the first of September. Luna was sitting in the same compartment reading a magazine sideways and Harry noticed that the glamour making it look like a Quibbler was not as good as it might have been.

Hermione had been forced to hand over a Galleon when the Prophet predictably went all out proclaiming the second rise of the Dark Lord, and how Harry was now the saviour of the wizarding world again. Lucius Malfoy had actually been arrested, but he was claiming it was a Polyjuice imposter and not really him, so it was doubtful that he would be charged. Not that it would matter overmuch thanks to what happened two days after their little escapade down Diagon Alley.

Harry had actually been incapacitated by his scar breaking open when Voldemort learned about the execution of Hermione's plan. The Dark Lord had been unhappy that his being alive again was now known to the whole world, or maybe it was the laughably obvious _way_ in which it had occurred that upset him. The emotional surge of outrage and fury had actually been strong enough to blast through Harry's Occlumency barriers and knock the boy unconscious. 'Looks like yet another annoying side effect from being a Horcrux' Harry mused idly at this train of thought while trying to scope a glance at Luna's centrefold.

In retaliation for the quote, unquote _"Light Side's"_ move against the Dark Lord, Voldemort had stepped up his plan to deal with Azkaban and two days ago all the Death Eaters who had been calling the castle their home for the past fourteen years had been freed. Including Bellatrix much to Harry's approval, and to everyone else's dismay.

"Do you really have no intension of getting involved in this war Harry?" Hermione asked once she was settled in the compartment.

Once he had pulled his thoughts back to the present he answered "That's right, the sheep are no longer threatening me with prison now that they know the Dark Lord really _is_ alive, so why would I want to get involved? People _die_ in wars you know."

"Voldemort is not going to stop trying to kill you though, you know that."

"Maybe, maybe not." The boy said "Perhaps, once he realises that I don't particularly want to kill him anymore he will leave me alone. Besides, the guy is a pushover. I've killed him what? Four times now."

"So you are just going to go to school like a normal teenager?" Hermione asked.

Pondering the question for a moment Harry said "More or less. I'd probably immigrate to France or something if not for Gerard Delacour putting a capture or kill order on me in case I ever set foot in his country."

They talked for a while as the train whisked them toward School and their fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hermione seemed to get it into her head that Harry was _missing_ Fleur Delacour for some crazy reason, which eventually forced Harry to Silence her and go back to trying to read Luna's dirty magazine over her shoulder.

','

Further down the train Draco Malfoy was getting a feeling similar to the jitters one got before an important Quidditch game. That familiar mixture of excitement and nervousness which kept a person worried but at the same time determined not to make a mistake.

He had learned the hard way not to directly provoke Potter, it hadn't taken him too long at the beginning of last year to learn to be wary of him. The casually violent and dismissive nature his nemesis acted toward perceived threats ever since his year in Azkaban was not something to take lightly. Luckily the task he had been given was fairly straightforward, and better yet would not necessitate any contact with the annoying Griffindor.

He was under a Disillusionment Charm and standing perfectly still so as to remain as invisible as possible in the small nook barely in sight of the boy's bathroom. He had been there for over two hours waiting for the opportunity to complete his assignment.

The Dark Lord did not under most circumstances allow people who were still in school to accept tasks, due to his well founded belief that children were unreliable. However once Draco had heard of the mission from his father he had volunteered, knowing as he had his whole life that he would one day join the ranks of the Death Eaters just like his father before him. He believed that successfully completing a mission for the Dark Lord at such a young age would put him on the fast track to the Inner Circle now that his father's master had been reborn.

So when he spied Longbottom moving toward the bathroom Draco whispered four syllables and performed the six wandmotions. One word well drilled over the previous summer, safe beneath the wards of Malfoy Manor:

_"Imperio"_

','

Lens of Sanity  
There is a direct quote about Simulacrums taken from Lionheart, credit where credit is due. His description of them being made from snow and so on is better than anything I could come up with :D


	8. Kansas City Shuffle

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter Eight: Kansas City Shuffle

','

It was the fifth of October and the first Hogsmeade weekend. With the rebirth of Voldemort and the war going on, Harry had decided to stick with the Time-Turner and stay on thirty hour days. He had been long used to the altered sleeping schedule anyway so changing it back was not a high priority. Things had been surprisingly tame since the beginning of term, thanks mainly to Harry's insistence that he had no interest in being involved with Dumbledore's war on Voldemort now that he was out in the open. Apparently his disinterest at faceless Muggle attacks and the Dark Lord's attention being focused on their ridiculous Prophecy was not quite getting through to Hermione and more surprisingly Sirius.

Harry _had_ after much cajoling, taken the Animagus Revealing Potion despite not really caring to learn how to turn into an animal. This would have been fine if he'd had an awesome form, -Harry had been all but convinced he'd be a Panther or a Thestral or something equally cool- but no, his form was not quite that impressive. The upshot being that his godfather had been laughing his arse off and teasing him mercilessly since he had learned of it.

"Damn Sirius." He said as he walked passed a distracted Neville Longbottom on the way toward his destination.

There had predictably been a new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor at the beginning of the year, but compared to Alastor _'I am completely off my tree'_ Moody, a frog faced spinster was nothing but a pushover. From the looks of things it seemed as though the Ministry had appointed her to mess about with Hogwarts and probably try to kill Harry if the opportunity ever arose, but with the outing of the Dark Lord her primary purposes had been left a little moot.

She had attempted to get him to show up at detentions following the one and only class Harry had attended, but due to his policy of not going to them she had been left disappointed so far. She had even appealed to Headmaster Dumbledore, who had told her that Harry rarely bothers going to _class_ let alone detentions and then proceeded to vanish in a flash of Phoenix fire before she could ask any more questions.

Harry found that story amusing for some reason he could not really put his finger on.

Nevertheless it was due to the esteemed Dolores Jane Umbridge -ridiculous name by the way- that Harry was on his way out of Hogwarts and toward today's meeting. The woman had cornered him and told him of the new Minister, a man named Rufus Scrimgeour, had wanted to meet with Harry and perhaps speak to the press. From Sirius' comments, the Aunt of one of the pretty Hufflepuffs in Harry's year was the current Director of Magical Law Enforcement. And _she_ had turned down the top job allowing a far _less_ competent candidate to become Minister.

Harry liked the idea of meeting with him. Talking to the press side by side with the Minister of Magic would be just the kind of thing a heroic young world saviour type such as Harry should be doing.

It was his duty after all.

','

"May I introduce to you all Harry Potter." The man had streaks of grey in his mane of tawny hair, and the yellowish eyes behind a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles were calculating, betraying the smile on his face as a fake, the kind of obsequious smile which was always pasted on a career politician's face.

The man had no idea who he was dealing with.

Harry flicked open his designer Hack Sunglasses and placed them on his face confidently, shading his eyes from the glare of a noonday's sunlight. Acromantula carapace armguards and signature Dragon Leather boots gracing his form stood out against the formal attire, and he released the previous summer's well practiced Visible Aura.

Harry strode up to the podium to the distinctive opening bars of George Thorogood and The Destroyers playing 'Bad to the Bone,' a song stolen the previous evening from Sirius' vinyl record collection.

The press had no idea who they were dealing with either.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen." He whispered, relying on a subtle magical amplification to make himself heard by all those present.

The first to get over the entrance was Bella's old roommate the Prophet's highest paid, and so she got out the opening question "Harry, they are calling you the Chosen One. Is it true you are the only one who can defeat He-Who-Must-Now-Be-Named?"

"Well let me just say _'the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...'_ A Prophesy such as that sounds pretty clear. Would you not agree Rita?" He answered with a winning smile.

"So it _is_ true?" Another reporter exploded, and all those listening in over the Wireless held their breath. This was turning out to be a far more interesting broadcast than the expected political rhetoric.

Scrimgeour moved in to answer this one "Of course, and together the new Ministry will do everything in its power to help young Harry do his duty."

'_Young_ Harry is it now?' He thought. Another smile and a more intense flaring of his Aura retuned attention to the _young_ man.

"Interestingly enough, I have no desire whatsoever to help your pathetic nation. You people threw me into Azkaban for attempting to save a young girl's life, and as of two months ago I was to be returned to my cell for Sedition of all things."

An echoing quiet met these words.

"That is right, you all have cured me of my desire to save people I do not know personally. I am going to allow Flighty and his Shiny Hand Gang to kill you all and probably turn the country into his own private Dictatorship. That is unless..."

More quiet.

Eventually one of the shocked audience shouts "Unless what?"

"That's just it. I do not know. But I think it's about time you all start thinking about what _you_ can do for me. What does Harry Potter want, what does Harry Potter deserve, what are you willing to give Harry Potter for him to even _want_ to save your very lives?"

With that he gave his best Lockhart smile, span off a fine gray mist wandlessly, and vanished with a near inaudible crack or Apparition.

','

"Interesting press conference Harry." The blonde said distractedly leaning against the corridor wall with a folded peace of parchment grasped in her hands.

"Yeah well, I thought so too. Bloody hate the sheep you know?" He muttered looking over to her. "What's that you've got there Luna?"

"You gave me it a few moments ago and asked me to deliver it to you when you showed up here. And here you are, so please accept this parchment. Did I deliver it well Harry?"

"I gave it to you?"

"Yes."

"Polyjuice again?"

"I do not think so. What does it say?"

Harry unfolded the parchment and read three Polyjuice imposter questions before concluding that he really _had_ written to himself. Scanning down to the actual message he read:

'_You can get to Bella if you move right now. She will be at the Hall of Prophecy at eleven forty five.'_

"_Tempus"_ 13:34

"Fuck!" Harry spat loudly "I've got to go Luna, I only have two hours left today and I have less than no time."

"I'm coming with you." She said looking him directly in the eye "And you have said so yourself that you have no time, so you have no time to argue either."

"Gah! Double Fuck!" He just grabbed the cherubic girl forcing their hips together and wrapped the Time-Turner around their necks.

As they reappeared across the sands of time Harry bolted straight for Minerva McGonagall's office, Luna not far behind. Harry didn't pause as he sent a _'Stupefy'_ at the Transfiguration Professor and charged directly to her floo connection and bellowed "Ministry Atrium" before vanishing in a wash of green flames.

','

An Imperiused Neville Longbottom was climbing toward the Hall of Prophecy, and he easily bypassed a Bill Weasley as they were both shrouded in an Invisibility Cloak. At that exact same moment the _first_ Harry Potter was meeting Rufus Scrimgeour for the first time to discuss the upcoming press conference. And also at the same time the _second_ Harry Potter was charging through the weekend staff who were milling about the Ministry of Magic.

It was also at the same instant a man once named Tom Marvolo Riddle, who had since taken on the pseudonym of Lord Voldemort was concealed from sight using his impressive skill at Invisibility. A branch of magic similar but totally unrelated to the Disillusionment Charm, which allowed one to be totally concealed from sight without the latter's propensity for a shimmering effect which gave away one's location.

He was making his way through the halls of the first place he had ever thought of as home, a building which was his by right of birth and blood; Hogwarts Castle, formally known as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Reclaiming his Relic of Ravenclaw from the hidden room took the most powerful wizard in the world no effort at all, and claiming the famed Relic of Griffindor from the Headmasters office took scantly more trouble either.

The Sword he had seen the boy wield through the memory of the First Task was exquisite, a masterpiece of Goblin magic. From what the waif had told him he knew that the Sword could be Summoned using the old Sorting Hat. So following his plan Voldemort unleashed a well controlled burst of Fiendfyre at the artefact before sweeping from the room. Dumbledore would not be distracted long, and facing the old man in his stronghold was not the order of the day.

Voldemort felt one of his Death Eaters summoning him, and decided this brief stay in his old home was to be cut unfortunately short.

','

"Weasley!" Harry snapped closing on the eldest brother "Get the Order here right now there is going to be an attack."

The man removed his hood and looked startled that he'd been spotted, though Harry in no way intended to share with him how it was his _smell _which alerted him to the older man's presence. Harry and Luna pushed passed him without checking to see if he complied and headed for a room with a number of doors.

"Any idea's Luna?" He asked abruptly.

Pondering, the blonde replied "My Mum used to work here but I don't know. Maybe if we just ask?"

"I would like the room with the Prophecies please!" Harry requested with a shrug. Surprisingly enough the front door locked itself and the gateways span to accommodate his command. "Huh, I can't believe that worked."

Towering shelves of spheres were on all sides and neither knew where they were supposed to go, 'Damn it, we've got less than two minutes' the green eyed man thought furiously as he searched.

"The Prophecies appear to be sorted by the date they were made. When was yours first spoken Harry?"

As he thought the man answered "Er-, I think it was the middle of 1979. Around then at least maybe." She grabbed his hand and a short time later they came across Neville Longbottom of all people, and he already had his hands on a small spun-glass orb.

Throwing subtlety aside Harry shot off a _'Stupefy' _without second thought and his companion attempted an _'Accio'_ to get at it quickly.

Both failed as the boy erected a wobbly _'Protego'_ shield charm, just as twenty witches and wizards in Death Eater garb stepped into view.

"Fuck, Again!" Brushing off Sirius' favourite spell Harry unloaded a second Stunning spell, but this time with what his godfather called a _'Bletchly Twist'_ and the bolt of red energy crashed right through both Lucius Malfoy's powerful shield, and Longbottom's indistinct protection. Incidentally dropping him like a stone.

Luna had the presence of mind to use a Summoning Charm again, grabbing the orb without comment and Harry turned to the Death Eaters "What are you idiot's doing here?"

"Potter, give us the Prophecy and we will let you go" The light haired aristocrat said with scorn.

Looking over at the man's gloved hand Harry commented "I'm sure there are many people who would give their left arm to be in your position Lucius. But I do not think you are in a position to negotiate. You are a peon, just another of your master's little toys."

This resulted in a widespread bristling among the cloaked figures, but with their objective being held at wandpoint by Luna they dared not attack.

"Potter, y-"

"Call him. I want to make a deal."

"What?"

"I said call your half-blood sack of snake remains. I have something he wants..." Harry gestured to the object in Luna's hand with a tilt of his head "...and he has something I want. Call him NOW!"

They obeyed. Proving they were at the very least capable of following simple instructions.

','

Lord Voldemort swept into a most curious scene.

In a large clearing between the stacks in the Hall of Prophecy his Death Eaters were standing -wands drawn- on one side of the clearing, and a large crew of the Order of the Phoenix were standing -wands also drawn- on the other side.

Yet nobody was fighting.

Standing with a relaxed and somehow _insolent_ slouch, the boy and a small blonde girl were right in the middle. No man's land. Preventing any fighting from breaking out by shear presence alone.

"Good Afternoon." The boy nodded politely, "How had your day been thus far Lord Voldemort?"

Somehow this was asked in a way that was clearly _not_ mocking.

"It has been quite well Harry Potter, although I admit to having expecting the child of Frank Longbottom to have been more successful than it seems he has been."

Some of the Order members were losing their confidence now that the Dark Lord was here in person, and the Death Eaters were similarly given a boost to their moral. They would find out later the reason the Department of Magical Law Enforcement was in no way involved was because of a massive attack on Upper Flagley, a small part-wizarding village in South Yorkshire. With Dumbledore assisting this left the three dozen or so combatants quite alone for a bit of a Parley.

"I personally think this thing is a load of crap." The boy said, once more gesturing to the precious orb. "But then again, you might be interested in its contents saying as I already know what it says."

"I see." Voldemort said mostly to himself "Would I be right in assuming you want safe passage out of your current situation."

Frowning Potter said "Erm-, no not really. I can kill you fairly easily, I think we have established that enough times don't you?" The barely human form of Voldemort was of course about to violently protest at this flippant remark, when the blonde child made it clear that the Prophecy would not survive an attack by showing the menacing glow of her wand tip.

"Then what is it you want Harry Potter. We do not have to be adversaries, I once offered you an honoured place by my side and you turned me down if you recall."

"I was eleven!" Potter exploded "Of course I was going to turn you down. Your whole _'there is no good and evil only power' _speech was never going to work on a kid who still believed in all that crap."

It was the Dark Lord's turn to think on this statement, and he eventually asked "So you are offering to join me now?"

"I can't. When you hear the Prophecy you will understand why." The boy responded with a sigh.

"Then I shall ask one final time. What is it you _do_ want Harry Potter?"

"Bellatrix."

','

"Bellatrix." Harry said, thinking how he was getting tired of this pointless back and forth. "I want Bellatrix. You can have the Prophecy, I'll even give _you_ safe passage out of here if you so desire it."

Harry watched as the red eyed stare shift to his once most loyal servant. It was clear to anyone watching that the woman really did _not_ want to be where she was. She was shifting foot to foot, looking monstrously uncomfortable, and attempting to avoid everybody's eyes. Harry had noticed it during the wait that the woman had been throwing occasional glances at him when she thought none of the other Death Eaters were looking.

So when the Dark Lord did not immediately reply Harry went on "When I say I want her, I mean I want Sovereignty over her Dark Mark too. I did quite a bit of research when I got out of Azkaban, and I am confident you have the necessary skill to accomplish this. I want her back but I will not allow you any lingering control over her."

The man was thinking for a long time and Harry could tell the exact moment Voldemort began contemplating _how_ to accomplish the magic necessary to do as he requested. When Harry noticed this he threw in "I would swear an Unbreakable Vow that the Prophecy contains a piece of information you do not have, and goes to explain why I didn't die in 1981."

"Agreed." Voldemort said as he staked over to Bellatrix and pulled violently on her emaciated left arm. As he waved his Yew and Phoenix wand Harry heard a soft chanting which he believed to be a mixture of spells mostly in Parsel, although he could not hear it clearly enough to understand the words.

Three tense minutes later Bellatrix let out a loud "Squee" and ran over like an overly enthusiastic little girl and jumped into a smiling Harry's arms, finding herself lifted into a piggyback.

"Let me see Bella." He asked and the woman showed him her left arm. The Skull and Snake of the Voldemort's Dark Mark ripped before their eyes at the initial skin contact between Harry and Bellatrix, after a few moments the tattoo's Soul Magic shifted and her forearm was now embossed with a tiny Griffon, impeccably detailed in all of its rampant glory.

At the sight Harry smiled and near silently whispered "Target Rodolphus" to his new companion, and then more loudly ordered Luna to toss over the Prophecy.

"Now!" Harry shouted as the spun-glass ball was still in the air, and the two unleashed the pleasing green of the Killing Curse a fraction of a second before Luna added her own.

Both Harry and Bella's bellowed _"Avada Kedavra"_ smacked uselessly against a professionally conjured transhield, but just as Redolphus LeStrange began charging his own curse with a smirk, the cherubic blonde got him in the toe and the hateful rapist fell, dead away with his final smirk still gracing his face.

'Much cleaner than divorce.' The thought lanced right through Harry's mind before he could stop the callous notion from presenting itself, and he was forced to intone _"Imprimis Patrocinor"_ before his blonde friend got fried by what he would tentatively describe as Devil's Fire sent forth by the Dark Lord now he had the Prophesy safely grasped in his left hand.

A thick blue shield of magic coalesced in front of Luna Lovegood and took the powerful spell effortlessly.

Bedlam broke out as Harry piggybacked his friend and attempted to get out of the centre of a fire fight. One of the Death Eaters took the opportunity to slice poor Longbottom with a butchering curse and the boy did not even have a chance saying as he had already been stunned.

The Order of the Phoenix paired off with one another, doing their best not to get overwhelmed by the superior numbers and Harry realised that with Voldemort himself here, pretty much all of them were going to die. "Fuck again! Bella get down and keep the Death Eaters' distracted if you can. Do _not_ get hurt!" Then he whispered _'Sonorus' _and bellowed "Everyone! On three ignore defence and volley on Voldemort with your best Hex!"

"**THREE!**"

A number of Killing Curses, flame spells, and assorted dubious magics all combined on a single position smashing through a triple shield; a sandwiched solid barrier between two strong mage shields. 'Bloody hell, there is no way anyone could cast such balls difficult spells like that so fast!' Harry thought as he watched the thing degrade regardless at the huge volley or hexes.

Sixteen powerful spells were enough to once again dispatch the Dark Lord and Harry had the sneaking suspicion it was Luna's _'Avada Kedavra' _which had actually gotten through.

The victory was not without cost however. Letting go of all pretence of defence had allowed the cloaked figures to land a fair few curses of their own and more than just Sirius' cousin was down; with the purple haired girl spewing up what was almost certainly her own intestines.

Harry sent Bellatrix over to save the girl and linked up with his blonde friend once again in an attempt to harass their retreating foes. Spying Mad-Eye Moody getting close and personal with one of the masked figures, Harry looped a slashing spiral and as he jabbed let out a whispered _"Pupugi" _firing into the melee being something which Sirius was forever telling him _not_ to do for some reason.

At the last instant the one legged man ducked to the floor and the high level piercing curse took his opponent in the shoulder.

With a grin and a mocking bow Harry moved off, extracting his friends from the fighting.

','

By that evening the dust had for the most part cleared. Bellatrix was in the Harry Potter Wing of Hogwarts dosed with Dreamless Sleep Potion and being treated by Poppy Pomfrey, who was visibly surprised that Harry himself did not need treatment. Bella was in pretty bad shape, most of it was from her long incarceration at Azkaban Prison and the Dementors. Most of it but not all. It took a little bit of convincing for her to get any treatment at all saying as Harry was pretty much her only advocate, and it was her altered Dark Mark which finally persuaded Albus to allow her to stay in the Castle.

Dumbledore was not entirely pleased with Harry as it turned out. Apparently holding the country to ransom was not a suitably heroic thing to do from his perspective, but with his actions at the Hall of Prophesy having succeeded in killing Voldemort again, and most likely saving many of the Order's lives the old man was in a forgiving mood.

Eight Phoenixes had actually died of their injuries, though Harry was quite pleased that Tonksy was _not_ one of them. Harry rubbed his sternum at the memory of her breaking it during the summer, back when he was sternly refusing to call her anything but her hated first name.

Only three Death Eaters lost their lives in the fighting, -Redolphus LeStrange being the only one from the Inner Circle- and the rest had taken the body of their Lord with them when they retreated. The absence of the Sword of Griffindor as well as the destruction of the Sorting Hat had been noted, and a large number of Howlers had been prevented from reaching Harry, but other than those relatively minor problems the day had ended without further drama.

It was early Sunday morning when Harry decided to take a stroll down to Hogsmeade for no other reason than to get out of the Castle for a while and relax, when a bright bolt of red impacted his back and everything went dark.

He awoke several hours later and wondered just how many times one person can get kidnapped in a single lifetime before he reached his maximum quota.

Harry Potter found himself looking down a familiar length of Holly, one he knew to be exactly eleven inches in length, and contained a single feather once belonging to a Phoenix named Fawkes. Things really could have been going better, but then again, this was pretty standard as far as his life went, par for the course and all that jazz. What was being tied to a chair with his own Ollivander wand pointed at him, when stacked up to all the other enjoyable goings on that had happened over the past few years, hell the whole of his life?

"..."

"We don't have time for another flashback Harry."

"Sorry Gin. I had a little Déjà vu for a moment there."

','

Lens of Sanity  
Okay so just to be clear, the following was Voldemort's _successful_ Kansas City Shuffle in this chapter:  
He knew Harry was setting up a press conference on the first Hogsmeade weekend and that it would be a big distraction for the masses. He then sent a massive force of Death Eaters to attack the part wizarding village of Upper Flagley which distracted the MLE and Dumbledore. He used these distractions to send Neville under the Imperius Curse to retrieve the Prophecy (which Neville _can_ do by the way), and at the same time fulfilled his _real_ objective; which was to steal the Sword of Griffindor.


	9. The Riddle of Riddle

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter Nine: The Riddle of Riddle

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'That is it, I quit!' The redhead thought to itself resolutely. Pettegrew had come in hefting the corpse of Voldemort through the antechamber of what was currently their primary fortification. It was bad enough that the Master had decided to make the Manor House of his Muggle father the central hub of his organisation, but from the obvious deadness of his latest body it did not take a genius to figure out what had probably happened.

This was something which had been eating at 'it' ever since the spring solstice and the Master's first two rebirths. He was clearly in command of immensely powerful magic, and had equally formidable skill when utilising it. So how in the name of Circe herself could the man keep getting himself killed? It made no sense at all.

The Master had possessed a woman by the name of Bertha Jorkins when she was travelling through the Grey Lady's Forest in Albania, had travelled back to Britain, and had liberated a loyal Death Eater who was being held captive by his father. The redhead had been aiding its Master since six months before his rebirth, when 'it' had meticulously tracked him back to Greater Hangleton and then set about helping.

The Master's initial plan was to kidnap his most dangerous foe and use him in the optimal rebirth ritual, and as a show of his grandiose power had decided to do so right in the middle on an international event. This made sense in a way, however the redhead had convinced 'its' Master that gaining a new powerful body should be the primary priority, and that making his enemies once more cower in fear should be secondary to this goal.

The Master had seen reason at the time and they had gone for a simpler capture which had resulted in the boy, Harry Potter, killing him mere minutes after the first rebirth. And it had seemingly been done without any apparent effort on the boy's part.

It knew a fair number of things about this Boy-Who-Lived from the waif 'it' had, for wont of a better word, _eaten_. Taking in the facts alone was troubling enough; the boy had dispatched Slytherin's Basilisk, survived Azkaban with little if any lasting harm, killed a Dragon, and slain Lord Voldemort on numerous occasions.

Also, the Ollivander wand which chose him had the _exact_ same wand core as the one 'it' remembered obtaining from the old man back in another lifetime.

It was that last which had perked the redhead's interest the most. More than all the others combined even.

Yet the enchantments on 'its' Diary were still in effect for the most part and 'it' had been aiding the Master as it could. Voldemort's initial plan to obtain the Prophecy had been less than inspired, and the redhead had discovered his large bottle of _'Bahl's Stupefaction'_ which it had managed to convince the Master to give up for the time being. That last success had caused the Master to then reorganise his priorities and so Voldemort had decided on today's course of action. It had been as much of a turnaround as when 'it' had convinced the Master against using a living being as a Horcrux, besides the fact that 'it' got along quite well with the snake.

The Scion of Malfoy must have agreed to yet another fast track to the Inner Circle as his body was now walking around with malevolent red eyes and the clear indication of willing possession. The redhead concluded that the Master must have decided on once more waiting for an equinox before regaining a new body, and so had taken to using a child Death Eater as a surrogate body. If the boy was strong enough he may even survive the two and a half months playing host to the Master, not that the redhead was particularly concerned either way now that 'it' had come to a decision.

It took the Yew wand from the deceased form of Voldemort's latest body and returned the large green bottle of _'Bahl's Stupefaction'_ before heading directly out the front door of the Riddle Manor. It was unmistakably followed by a beautiful twelve foot viper named Nagini. Twenty minutes later 'it' was in possession of the one Horcrux whose location 'it' knew, the Family Ring which proved direct decent from the Slytherin line now took pride of place on 'its' slender feminine hand.

With a muted crack of Disapparation 'it' vanished, shrouded in well crafted Illusion.

','

From his bound position Harry looked as best as he could around the darkened room, he noticed a huge venomous snake which seemed to be refraining from taking, bare walls, and of course a crimson haired teenager with all the right kinds of curves pointing his Holly wand at him.

He had been lost in thought for a moment and eventually threw out a simple "Sorry Gin. I had a little Déjà vu for a moment there."

"Not at all Harry. I was hoping we could talk for a while if that is okay with you."

"Talk. Yeah, I love talk. Talk is definitely better than torture any day of the week." He said while attempting to wandlessly free himself from the ropes and hopefully attack the girl.

Sighing, the girl summoned a handful of dust and effortlessly transfigured it into a comfortable chair. "I am really not here to harm you Harry."

He smiled winningly and said "Of course you're not Ginny, you are here to return my wand aren't you." All the while forcing as much magic as possible into the air and hoping to spear the girl with some more wandless transfiguration.

"Yes, I am here to give you back your wand. Now please stop trying to kill me, I really only wish to talk."

"I'm not trying to kill you Gin." He said with an earnest smile, all the while forcing the intent _'Die! Die! Die! ...why won't you just die damn it!'_ through his magic unsuccessfully.

Rolling her pretty brown eyes the girl said "You know, you really are very talented at wandless magic. It is taking me tremendous effort to prevent whatever you are trying to achieve, and that is _with_ a well suited wand pointed at you."

"Fine, what do you want to talk about?" Harry grudgingly asked once a brutal changeover headache threatened to cut short their discussion, and so he decided to give up for a while.

The girl let out a long breath and seemed to get a little uncomfortable. "I want to switch sides. I think you are going to win Harry, and if what I heard about Bellatrix is true then I might actually have a solid way out of the fool's ranks."

"What?"

"Voldemort. He is insane. I don't want to serve him anymore."

"What?" Harry said again before pausing to think. Eventually he asked "Are you not his Horcrux though? I would have thought you'd naturally be on his side."

She looked up at the dusty ceiling for a moment and replied "He is nothing like I thought I would be when I was seventeen. He Cruciates his servants or no real reason, he was addicted to a powerful narcotic, and his plans made absolutely no sense to me. The only reason he has been as successful as he has is because I've been helping him."

"So you _are_ on his side then. If you were helping him you must agree with his aims." Harry pointed out the inconsistency in the girl's story.

"My Diary was the second Horcrux I created." She began slowly. "Or I suppose _he_ created, it is strange because I remember doing it. As well as remembering everything that happened to me up until the Diary was completed, just before graduation in 1945."

"Wait. According to what Albus told me you created the Diary first. It was after you murdered Mrytle in your fifth year, and you created the second after you killed your grandparents."

"Arg!" The girl growled "No. Just be quiet and listen. The poor Ravenclaw girl was an accident, and despite what _the Maste_- Gah, Voldemort. Despite what Voldemort told you in the Hangleton graveyard I did _not_ murder my father or my grandparents."

"I believe you." Harry nodded carefully "Now you can let me go and we can all be one big happy family."

The redhead scowled "I am telling you the truth."

"Oh, I know." Harry said soothingly, "I just want us all to be the best of friends."

"Damn it! Stop being so patronising. Bah, if the girl knew you were this infuriating she would not have been anywhere near as infatuated with you!"

Harry couldn't help exploding a laugh "So you remember what it was like growing up as an orphan muggle boy, _and_ growing up as a sweet little pureblood girl. Oh, that's just got to be _so_ awkward."

She scowled prettily again before replying. "You are partially correct of course, I remember a number of the emotions and thoughts the waif expressed as though they were my own." The redhead admitted. "However I am not even really a female despite this body. Furthermore I still think of myself as Tom Riddle."

Harry scanned his mind back and came to a conclusion "Tamsyn is the feminine of Thomas I think. So you're Tam Riddle now." At the redheads look Harry burst out laughing again despite still being tied to a chair and at the man's mercy.

"I will no-" The newly christened Tamsyn began, before being interrupted.

"Finish your story Tam." The bound man commanded. "I'm in a much better mood now. You were saying how you are a nice well rounded orphan who totally _didn't_ murder his only remaining family."

','

"I was on the trail of the Chamber of Secrets ever since the Sorting Hat whispered of its existence to me during my first day at Hogwarts." At Harry's look Tam replied to the unasked question "I think it whispers in Parseltongue to every student sorted into Slytherin. Regardless, I found the legendary chamber in the first term of my fifth year, and decided to smuggle out the Basilisk so that I could share my find with the world without the authorities killing her."

"It was a female?" Harry asked surprised.

"Yes, but that does not matter now because _you_ killed her." The girl smothered the scowl she wanted to direct at him. "Regardless, I waited until the end of the year and for some unlucky reason the Ravenclaw girl was in the bathroom at three in the morning and ended up getting hit full in the face with the Basilisk's stare."

The dark haired boy injected "And you blamed Hagrid, getting him expelled the same year his dad died."

"Fine, that is also true." Tam agreed.

"That's kind of a douchey thing to do though. I mean, his _Dad had just died_!" Harry pressed unnecessarily. The redhead looked at him for a while and Harry realised he was getting in the way of her story, so nodded for her to continue.

"I visited my mother's family that summer and was..." Tam searched for the right word "...unimpressed by what I found."

Harry found himself lost in thought, thinking on all the memories Albus' shared of what he know about Voldemort's past. Hearing this he finished the girl's sentiment. "And you murdered your father and grandparents, and Memory Charmed your Uncle Morfin into thinking he did it."

"No I did not!" Tam protested.

"Yes you did, I saw the Pensieve memory. You stole the guy's only possession and had him shipped off to Azkaban."

"I did not! Well, I _did_ steal his Ring I suppose. But it was Morfin who went berserk and murdered my muggle relatives. Let me ask you this, would the Trace not have caught me performing a Memory Charm?"

Harry thought on this for a while. The wand would have the tracker on it and he would not have been able to use Morfin's because the Ministry had checked with _'Prior Incantato'_ and they found only Killing Curses "You were in a wizard's house and could have been using a spare wand. They would not have been able to catch you."

Tam just moved on without bothering to argue "This was in 1943 by the way and the war with Grindelwald was dragging on and getting a large number of good people killed. I had been studying the Horcrux Ritual extensively during my fifth year and went to Horace Slughorn for his opinion as to what would happen if I used a lesser fraction than half my soul when creating one."

"So you were okay with killing people to do a disgusting ritual even at the age of fifteen?" Harry slowly confirmed.

Frowning the redhead answered "I'd already killed someone remember; Myrtle. I wanted to actually get something useful out of her tragic death."

"Stop!" Harry shouted.

"What?"

"Impossible! I've read the Horcrux Ritual. Humans are born with an innate _'flinching'_ response when it comes to intentionally murdering others. It is a natural part which has evolved for thousands of years as far as I can tell, and the Horcrux Ritual requires you to _purposely_ go against that emotion, in order to harm your soul enough to create an Anchor." Harry took a deep breath "Claiming you used an accidental death makes no sense, it simply would not work. You are lying!"

','

"...You are lying!" Harry intoned forcefully, once more forgetting he was a captive.

"I really need a drink" Tam said rubbing her palms against her eyes "I am not lying Harry. As far as I know I am the only one who has ever thought to use smaller fractions, and furthermore I believe I know more about the process than anyone who has ever lived." She looked directly into the eyes of her bound companion then said "I _did_ in fact use the girl's accidental death. It took a fair degree of mediation and so forth, thinking on what it _meant_ that I had caused a death. And by the winter of my sixth year I had succeeded in turning my mother's Family Ring into my first Horcrux."

"Say I believe you. Why did you even need one? The risks involved in making a Horcrux are huge." Harry asked.

She snorted "I wanted to kill Grindelwald."

"At sixteen? That was pretty fucking ambitious of you."

"I was in Slytherin House remember. Besides you have killed a Dark Lord and you are not even sixteen yet."

"Yeah I have, but I'm Harry Potter. I'm awesome!" She rolled her eyes "Get on with it, I might as well hear the rest of your fantastical tale even if I don't believe a word of it."

"You lose something when you create a Horcrux. A facet of your personality I think. It does not say so it the texts, but that is what I found from going through the process. The Ring contained the most complete imprint of Tom Riddle's original personality, and I have concluded creating it stripped Voldemort of any lasting fondness he had for Muggles or Muggle culture. Up until that point he had no real hatred of them in general terms, and the idea of creating an object which would terrorise Hogwarts using the Basilisk had not even occurred to him. As far as I can tell the Diary was made to ingratiate himself with the Purebloods, which would undoubtedly have helped on Voldemort's own rise to power."

Harry thought this was getting far too confusing and injected "You say you know everything Voldemort knew up until just before Graduation, and yet you don't know his motivations for creating the Diary. What you are claiming is contradictory and does not make any sense."

Tam ignored him in favour of continuing her story "The Diary seems to have consumed Voldemort's desire for family, which I suppose is fitting as he had decided on making the second Horcrux around the time he found out that his only family were either dead or in Azkaban. After I took over the Weasley girl I did what I was commanded too, and once you destroyed the Basilisk I had only one more purpose, so I abandoned the book... and in doing so, I sort of killed her.

When I restored Voldemort to a body I was doing so following the orders which were imbedded in the book, but saying as I no longer _had_ the book, they no longer fully controlled me. I eventually became disillusioned with the man that he had become and decided I wanted a way out. Last night I stole my Family Ring and did something incredibly dangerous and foolish; I reabsorbed the other shard of soul even though doing so had a good chance of ending my, life? existence? whatever it is I have." Tam blinked a few times in thinking about the pain, no _grief_ she had gone through the night before. Eventually she looked over at what she had concluded was pretty much her only hope.

"Are you going to untie me now?" Harry asked.

Tam Riddle was silent for the longest time. Finally she flicked her Yew wand releasing the ropes and chucked Harry his Holly and Phoenix Feather.

"_Avada Kedavra"_ Green eyes locked on as the spell was shouted.

A sad brown gaze did not even look surprised _"Expelliarmus"_

','

A jet of green light issued from Harry's wand just as a jet of red light blasted from Tamsyn's. The two powerful forces of magic met in midair and suddenly Harry's wand was vibrating as though powered by Duracell AA batteries. Harry's hand seized up around it and he couldn't have released it if he'd wanted to as a narrow beam of light connected the two wands. It was neither red nor green, but a bright, deep gold. Harry, following the beam with his astonished gaze, saw that Tam's long supple fingers too were gripping a wand that was shaking and vibrating.

She did not look taken aback, not in the least.

As Harry's feet felt as though they were about to be lifted off the ground the connection was broken, and rolling to the side he fired off a powerful _'Confringo'_ which was met by yet another _'Expelliarmus'_ to much the same effect.

"_Expulso"_ _"Expelliarmus"_

"_Zbax"_ _"Expelliarmus"_

"_Pupugi" "Expelliarmus"_

"Gods fucking damn it! You've cursed my wand you bastard!" Harry shouted from the floor, as he was forced to stop overpowering his hexes or risk another of those damn changeovers.

Tam actually had the balls to chuckle at his language "I have not cursed your wand Harry."

"Yes you have. Look..."

"_Stupefy" "Expelliarmus"_

"...See, cursed!"

She sighed and explained "It is not cursed. This is the reason I was so set on helping you rather than just vanishing into obscurity for a while."

"Uh-uh, sure. If it is not cursed, what is going on? _'Crucio'_"

"'_Expelliarmus'_ Our wands share common wand cores, both taken from Albus Dumbledore's Phoenix Fawkes. When I spoke to Ollivander he told me about the Brother Wand effect before I Obliviated him. And through Legilimency I learned that you already knew of the connection."

Thinking back to when he was eleven Harry remembered the conversation with the creepy man Tam was talking about. So he asked "There is a strange effect? _'Reducto'_"

"'_Expelliarmus'_ It is called Priori Incantatem, or the Reverse Spell Effect. If we make the two wands fight it will show each of us the last spells the wands have performed. Essentially they cannot be used against one another effectively."

'Hmm, that really is strange.' Harry thought before shouting the incantation for Hoarfrost and once more being shot down with a disarming spell.

"Please stop trying to curse me Harry, if you will notice I have not attempted to attack you even once since I brought you here."

"You said that this was the reason you wanted to switch sides rather than vanish into obscurity?" Harry eventually asked as he cautiously got to his feet.

Careful not to let her guard down, and wary of any wandless attack, Tam explained "Indeed. Our magical core's being so well matched that the two of us essentially share a wand is... intriguing. Magic can be funny like that sometimes, and synchronicities such as you and I being unable to fight with our primary wands is the kind of thing which screams **'Pay Attention; This is Important!'**"

"So you are saying that you believe you were sort of Destined to help me defeat Voldemort?" Harry asked in a tone which clearly expressed how dubious he found this idea.

Taking the question seriously she thought for a while and said "I would not have put it in those terms, but I _do_ think the two of us are not meant to fight. And furthermore I feel it is partially my responsibility to rid the world of what my other self became."

"Okay. But you know that I don't really care about fighting him? I even gave a speech yesterday telling the country they could go fuck themselves, and that I'd only help if I got some pretty extensive Hazard Pay out of the deal."

"I did _not_ in fact know of this."

','

Later that evening the two were walking side by side on a trip back to Hogwarts Castle, Harry having gotten into an argument with the viper he had learned was named Nagini. Apparently there are a number of swearwords that can only be spoken in Parseltongue and while they do not translate well into English, Harry found himself quite outmatched by the smug little bitch.

"I don't like your snake Tam." Harry informed her with an air that the fact was never going to change.

Shaking her mane of red hair she just said "You started it, it is hardly Nagini's fault that she has had thirty years more time to learn swearwords than you have."

"I wish I could talk to my Owl. Hedwig is one of the cleverest people in the castle, if I could talk to her that would be awesome. At least _my_ familiar is cooler than yours!"

"You think a common Owl is superior to such a majestic animal as my snake?"

"Bah, common my arse. Hedwig is the best." Looking up Harry stated "See? Here she comes now, I bet she knew we were talking about her."

As the Snowy Owl alighted to the raven haired boy's arm she looked imperiously over at her owner's companion. She nodded once which Harry felt was a good sign and then glared down at the snake, which Harry felt was an even better sign.

"What did I tell you, Hedwig knows the score."

Right then the red envelope she was carrying exploded and the air for a mile around was given the pleasure of experiencing the bellowed shouts of both Hermione Granger and Sirius Black.

"**WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PLAING AT? YOU CANNOT JUST DUMP BELLATRIX LESTRANGE IN THE HOSPITAL WING AND THEN LEAVE THE CASTLE WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE ALMOST DIED TODAY HARRY POTTER!**"

It went on in that vein for a while before vanishing in a puff of smoke. Tamsyn Riddle eventually asked the question "LeStrange? What did you do Harry?"

Harry slowly ran his hand through his hair before he answered.

"I knew I was supposed to be doing something this morning."

','

Lens of Sanity  
The history of Tom Riddle when he was at school contradicts the _tale_ as it was told by Dumbledore in canon. However it does **not** contradict what might have potentially happened if Dumbledore was mistaken in his; _'journeying through the murky marshes of memory into thickets of wildest guesswork' _... Basically I'm saying that it _does_ squeeze through even though I've changed some of the implied dates on the HP-Lexicon.  
The idea that Tom Riddle wasn't that bad at school was inspired by what I vaguely remember from a story called _'Fair Trade by BajaB' _I read it ages ago, so any flaws in what I wrote are all down to my not doing the appropriate groundwork.


	10. Back in Black

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Ten: Back in Black

','

Harry and his companion eventually made their way to the domain of Poppy Pomfrey, finding it looking at lot like the kind of place you would expect a medical wing to look like. Albeit following a particularly long and brutal battle, one where neither side really won, but most of the soldiers had evidently lost. Albus' left arm was even in a sling which Harry guessed was pretty much the worst -none Voldemort- injury the man had sustained in the past couple of decades.

Hermione was glaring at him from her position in one of the beds, leg lifted above her heart and firmly secured, indicating the bones were probably being re-grown with Skele-Gro. He felt a little sympathetic at that, knowing from personal experience that the stuff hurts like crap. Tonksy was _not _glaring at him, but that was mostly due to the fact she was currently being healed from a spell known as an Eye Exploding Hex. Harry was only able to recognise it because of the potion she was sipping had a very distinctive swirling rainbow look about it.

A fair number of the other beds were also occupied by people injured to a greater or lesser degree and Harry innocently asked "Oh my. What in heaven's name happened here?"

"Your pet psychopath went on a rampage and tried to kill everybody. That is what has happened Harry Potter!" His oldest friend practically screamed at him from her sickbed.

He looked over at pretty innocent Bella, who was quite securely fastened to her own bed, and had a familiar magic limiting choker around her neck. "She wouldn't have done that without a good reason Hermione. What really happened?"

"When Mrs. LeStrange regained consciousness this afternoon she requested your presence." Dumbledore went on in an indecipherable tone "And when informed that you were out of the Castle, she concluded that we had harmed you."

Harry's mind instantly skipped ahead several sentences and he finished "One of you tried to shoot her in the back or something, didn't you?"

"She was becoming quite agitated, it was an obvious solution." Albus continued "Although in hindsight I think that it was a bad decision on Sirius' part."

He added that last when Harry began glaring at him, selling out a comrade in order to neatly shift the ire onto the animagus. Eventually Harry strolled over to Bellatrix and attempted to dispel the ropes. The damn things looked like a pale green fire whip about the size of a man's wrist and were clearly strong enough to moor a cruise liner to a harbour in high seas. After several failed cutting curses Harry gave up and used the one spell which he _knew_ would break through the magical bindings; _'Avada Keda-'_

'_Expelliarmus'_ Tam screamed once more linking the brother wands with golden light. "Stop, Harry. Just stop."

"What do you want now woman?" He demanded with another glare.

She just looked over at him and stated "That is a binding of the highest order. If you use a Killing Curse the magic will cascade and probably explode, killing us all."

"Can you cancel the spell?" Harry asked putting up his wand.

When Tam was sure the danger had passed she said "Yes."

After a long time Harry realised she had answered the question, and _only_ the question. "_Will_ you cancel the spell?"

"I am not sure I should. I know what she is as well as you do. I do not know if it is safe."

"Just do it you idiot, you wanted to be on my side so start helping." Harry inserted with annoyance.

With narrowed eyes Tam stated in no uncertain terms "Yes, I want to help but that does _not_ make me your servant. We must get that straight right at this moment."

The room had been ignoring the redhead since she had entered the room given that other, far more important things were happening, but now she was the centre of attention. "Sorry. Ladies and Gentlemen let me introduce Tamsyn Riddle. The newest member of our ragtag band of misfits..."

"Do not introduce me using a name you have made up yourself!" She commanded.

Harry ignored her and went on "...She is a five foot five inch proto Dark Lord from the forties, sexy slim, with an evil pet snake, and the mindset of a seventeen year old heterosexual male. Oh, and her thoughts are _blatantly _still geared toward world domination." He then swept his hands across the incredulous stares "Tam, let me introduce everyone else. They all have their own names and so forth, I'm sure you will be able to figure them out in no time. Now undo these damn ropes!"

','

Bella's large purple eyes opened slowly and when they finally registered who was standing over her she squealed "Harryee!" and a big smile overcame her features "I thought something had happened to you."

He unclipped the choker allowing her to once again move her arms and legs, then tossed the thing carelessly at the Headmaster who must have summoned it for the catch to be that perfect. Bellatrix looked terrible really; emaciated, starved, sallow skin and tiny almost childlike arms. She had looked worse in Azkaban of course, what Healing Harry had managed to smuggle in was worth less than nothing overall, yet in the months since Voldemort had broken her out had done her some good. Harry would be going to one hell of a lot of effort to get her back into shape.

It was a good thing the sheep did not know what their idiotic Dark Lord had done to Bellatrix, because it was one of the few things left in his life which Harry still actually took seriously.

"You look great Bella Black, better than I've ever seen you." He said confidently. Then nodding to the still upset redhead he went on. "And I was fine, just went on a little stroll this morning and ran into a new friend."

She looked Tam over for a long while and eventually under her breath Bella whispered "You know she's the Dark Lord's favourite, right Harry?"

"I've no doubt she was." Harry laughed before asking "Are you fit enough to go for a walk or do you want to hang around here all day?"

"Can a have a piggyback?" She asked in an innocent little voice.

Wasting no time he scooped the woman up and onto his back again, and Harry then made his way toward the door. Once he reached it he looked over at the silent, concerned occupants of the room before locking onto Albus and ordering "Veritaserum, twenty minutes of deep Legilimency. I would like you to make sure dear Tamsyn is more or less on our side."

Then he was gone.

','

Voluminous brown hair tied back in a practical bun and book bag in hand, Hermione Jean Granger was once more walking the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She had noticed two constants in her life which had existed virtually unceasingly since she had joined the magical world at age eleven. First, no matter the number of Lightening Charms one puts on a book bag, it will always be too heavy. And second and infinitely more overwhelming, was a pretty much constant state of worry.

At the root of which was, as always, Harry Potter.

It was as though the boy's entire purpose for existing was to give Hermione something to be concerned about. For the first two years of school this was bad enough, but overall Hermione had been quite pleased with how she had helped Harry from you know, dying horribly in some fantastical and totally unbelievable way. Then he was thrown into Azkaban Prison for absolutely no reason at all, and she had ended up spending her entire third year virtually alone. She even completed every single class Hogwarts had to offer in order to avoid thinking about her friend and what he had to be going through.

Looking back she knew that she had not been at all happy that year. It reminded her too strongly of how alone she had been when in primary school.

Still, the year ended and Professor Snape had saved her. There was no Life Debt as far as she understood things, -this was probably due to the fact that helping students was an implied duty of being a Professor- but Hermione still felt some gratitude if not warmth toward the man for doing what he had.

Then Harry was back. And he was so... _horrible_ to everyone. She had even heard a story about one of the younger students and what Harry had done with the boy's camera, not to mention the sheer number of times he had hexed _her_! Strangely, despite this behaviour it had never occurred to Hermione that she might not be his friend anymore, and instead the old feeling of worry had encompassed her once again.

Then the Goblet of Fire happened and she and Harry were friends again, sort of. That was just it, the Harry before Azkaban was virtually a completely different person than the Harry as he was once he had been released. She would admit to herself that he _was_ still the same in some ways. Every once in a while it was like he would forget, and then start acting like he was going to grab her hand and they would go rescue a Philosopher's Stone or something.

Heading up a flight of stairs Hermione released an audible sigh.

It had been nagging at her a little, even before her father had been getting on at her to sever any ties with Harry, and her mother had been not so subtly at her to start going out with him. Hermione shuddered unconsciously at _that_ idea, the thought of so much chaos in her life was just too much to bear.

But the thing that had been nagging at her was that maybe she _shouldn't_ be here, or be so close to Harry. Ever since Azkaban certain phrases had been cropping up in his everyday speech, the worst of which; _'let the chips fall where they may,'_ was something Hermione didn't even completely understand, but totally cemented the fact the Harry really did _not_ care about pretty much anything anymore. He made that speech yesterday telling the wizarding world that he would simply sit back and allow them all to die, unless they paid him.

And that was NOT the Harry Potter she was friends with. Least of all was the fact that he clearly did not even need the money at all.

She opened the door across from the Tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and walked inside; to the view of Bellatrix LeStrange and Luna Lovegood chasing Harry around the room with bats and a net.

"Hey Hermione, we're playing Mudbloods and Mugglekillers. Do you want to be on my team?"

Hermione spent most of her time in the magical world with a background sense of worry as has been said, but recently she had begun to suspect that her friend had gone evil.

Sighing she just asked "What are the rules?" in a dreary little voice.

','

The four were a little sweaty and breathing heavily but they'd had quite a fun time and now were sitting on a big pile of beanbag chairs talking casually. After a while a thought occurred to Bella and she rolled to her feet and looked at Harry.

"I've got a surprise." She said with a smile. "Learned it after you left and I had no one to talk to anymore."

Tilting his head to the side Harry answered "What? Show me." The newly renamed Bellatrix Black then proceeded to morph and change, her mass and size increased, arms and legs stretched out, and as her skeletal system began to alter thick fur began growing out of her skin.

The whole process took far longer than the ease with which Harry was used to seeing from his godfather, but eventually Bella was gone and in her place was a large cat, snow while with intricate black stripes standing out starkly on her fur, and with Bellatrix distinctive purple stare. "You're a Royal Bengal Tiger? That is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life"

"How do you know the breed Harry?" Hermione asked him as Bellatrix turned back into a woman with a pleased look on her face.

Smiling at Bellatrix he said "You're not going to believe this '_Expecto Patronum!'_" and an identical Royal Bengal Tiger burst out of his Phoenix wand and began padding around the room, glistening with silvery energy.

Swiftly shifting back into her animal form Bella began chasing the silvery creature around the room and Hermione asked "I didn't know you could do a corporeal Patronus Harry." He simply winked and didn't reply.

Thirty minutes later Harry had a purring tiger's head in his lap and was scratching behind her ears absently as she slept. "Maybe I should actually learn how to transform into my Animagus form." He muttered distractedly.

After making sure the animal was in fact asleep Hermione asked the question which had been bugging her "Harry, why do you trust her? I've heard about some of the things she has done under Voldemort's orders, and she is supposed to be completely insane."

"She was in love with him." He said softly to his bushy haired friend "Did you know she never voluntarily took the Dark Mark, at least not really."

Luna was on the far side and she was listening in, as Hermione went on "She tortured innocent people, killed families. It was not propaganda either, I read the trial transcript and she admitted to doing some quite horrible things. She was proud of it."

"Bellatrix is what's called an 'Escort Guard' Hermione. What was done to her is easily Voldmort's greatest crime." He breathed quietly "What you do if you want to become a Dark Lord is get a bunch of followers and bind them to you by giving them a Dark Mark using a specific branch of Soul Magic. You then have to ether kill the previous Dark Lord, or commit two acts of 'Greatest Evil' otherwise you are just another Dark Wizard. Snape for instance, has killed a bunch of people and so on but isn't anything more than a wizard with a murky past who specialises in the Dark Arts.

One sure fire Act is to create an Escort Guard. You take the pretty talented daughter of a family who has slighted you, do unspeakable things to her, and eventually force her to fall in love with you. She becomes your most loyal servant, and will do quite literally _whatever_ you tell her to. It is not a simple process, from what I can tell it is extremely expensive in potion and ritual ingredients to brainwash her in such a way, it takes an incredible amount of time and effort but is far from impossible.

It really is the worst thing I can imagine to do to someone. Bellatrix loved Voldemort to her very core, to her very soul maybe. And yet she knew, knew the entire time by the way, that the man did _not_ love her back. Would never love her back, and that everything she did for him, sacrificed for him, everyone she tortured and killed _for him_ would not make Voldemort love her back. But she loved him anyway, because that was what he had made of her."

Harry continued to stoke the huge feline's coat as Hermione said "She still did all those horrible things though."

At this the green eyed man transfigured a small puppy with huge eyes and a cute look of adoration on its face. Then transfigured a claw hammer and bashed its brains in silently, so as not to wake his friend.

Hermione looked quite ill and even more disturbed at the brutal thing Harry had just done, and she quietly hissed "What the hell did you do that for?"

"I didn't do anything. It was the claw hammer that did it not me."

Her mouth dropped open, but Hermione was nothing if not sharp so she thought about it and eventually stated "So you're saying that everything she did wasn't really her fault. She was more of a tool, and it was really all Voldemort's fault not hers?"

"I'm not entirely sure why she likes me so much but I _have_ come up with a theory over the past few months. My Horcrux connection and the fact that I apparently act a lot like the Dark Lord sometimes must have been enough to fool her subconscious response. Once I'd gotten Sovereignty over her Mark she was free to choose, and if you don't mind me saying I think I'll treat her better than Voldemort would."

Since her father refused to do anything more than passively support the Dark Lord, Bellatrix had not lived a very happy life. That at least was something Harry could sympathise with.

','

They made their way back to the Hospital Wing that evening and Bella was shuffling her feet and acting overly nervous "It will be fine. I'm sure she'll understand, you saved her life the other day remember."

"I've never apologised to anyone for years Harry. What if she doesn't accept it?"

"She will, I bet you anything. And even if she doesn't you still have to _try_ don't you?"

"...Okay" She agreed bleakly, shuffling over to her niece's bed. Harry though the card was actually quite sweet, albeit in a really weird and uncomfortable way. Bella had confessed that the last time she had apologised for anything, had been when she was nine years old and had broken her father's favourite vase. So the two of them had decided to do the same thing she'd done last time.

A hand drawn card with a picture of a sunflower on the front looked like a child had drawn it, although the words on the inside had been an impressive flow of calligraphy which Harry was actually quite jealous of. '_I'm sorry I exploded your eyeballs, please forgive me. Signed: Bella Black' _was not the kind of card most injured people get on their bedside, but Tonks was a romantic at heart and throwing an honest sentiment in someone's face was just not her style.

Harry moved over to where Tam and Albus were chatting. For some reason they were still in the Hospital Wing which made no sense at all to Harry but he refused to comment. "Is she evil? ... No scratch that, it was a stupid question. Is she on our side?"

"Ms. Riddle is working toward Voldemort's defeat, and was telling the truth about having absorbed one of the Horcruxes." Dumbledore answered before continuing "What we are going to tell the Weasley family however, I do not know."

Tamsyn's gaze snapped to Harry, who hadn't thought of that either. "Oh gods in heaven, that is going to be one awkward conversation."

The three pondered that understatement for the longest time, and Tam eventually changed the subject "So what is our next move against the Dark Lord, while I only know of one of his active plans I can tell you quite a bit about his current organisation."

"Yeah? What's he getting up to now he has the Prophecy?" Harry asked a little interested despite his current attitude.

She flicked her mane of hair over her shoulder in a disturbingly attractive way and went on "He has begun gathering supplies and I believe he intends to seed the woods around his primary fortification for defence. Much in the way Hogwarts is protected by the Forbidden Forest. I am unsure if his plans will change now that he knows the implications of his Prophecy, however I see no reason for that one to change."

Albus asked a few more questions and Harry immediately lost interest. Eventually a shove brought him back to awareness "What?"

"I asked what plans you have for moving against the Dark Lord."

"Oh, I don't have any." He said frowning "I wasn't blowing smoke when I addressed the nation you know. I'll probably end up fighting in this war but I'm not going to do it out of the goodness of my heart. Most of the Magicals in this country _deserve_ their Dark Lord for Merlin's sake!"

"You fought and killed Voldemort not forty eight hours ago." The redhead protested.

Nodding in agreement Harry just said "Yeah, well I saw the opportunity to get Bella back. That had nothing to do with your war though did it?"

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The Lord Voldemort was not having a good day, and he was... quite angry. Yes, quite angry would sum things up rather nicely. He had decided to turtle behind the defences offered by his fortress for the duration of the time he would spend possessing the Malfloy Scion. This was not an ideal solution for obvious reasons, his magic was limited to what the boy could channel, and unless he was willing to completely subsume the boy's soul, Voldemort was forced to use an unfamiliar 10" Hawthorn and Unicorn wand.

And the boy, Draco, was weak. Voldemort was used to having the strength in one arm which could punch through a stone wall, or crush a transformed werewolf's skull without effort, yet here he was in this fortress, stalking around the dungeons woefully weak. He even had to _sleep_, which was the thing he had hated most about being in the same body as that fool Quirinus.

Lord Voldemort knew of any number of ways to craft himself a new body, and to do so right at this instant should he desire. Yet he chose not to because the optimal method of rebirth required an equinox, and a most powerful foe. Meaning he had to wait seventy four sunrises until three days _before_ the winter solstice, and he had to do so in this boy's body.

This was _not_ what had Voldemort angry however. No, Voldemort was an Immortal, and one thing any true Immortal knows is that Time is the single resource one has at infinite disposal. Time and waiting was not a problem. _Timing_ however was crucial, you did not get anywhere with planning unless you were willing and able to _time_ your moves with great precision and skill.

He tilted his neck sideways with a loud click and set about going to work, allowing his mind to dwell further on his anger as his hands and wand went through the long ago memorised process necessary to create the constructs of snow and stone. Voldemort really was brilliant at magic, no mere prodigy as he had been labelled long ago at Hogwarts, but a full blown genius. It was doubtful anyone else in the world had such an understanding as to the true nature of magic, that they could construct a Simulacrum directly from memory without the aid of books or notes. And the feat was nowhere near complex or involved enough to hold his full attention.

The waif had betrayed him.

The Diary, one of his earliest and arguably greatest accomplishments, had betrayed him. And she had taken his Family Ring.

Lord Voldemort had taken to naming the waif _Tam_ as Tamsyn was the feminine of Thomas, and as it was once the Riddle Diary it would still think of itself as his filthy Muggle name. He had taken to using Wormtail as Pettigrew's form of address for similar reasons, given the man hadn't yet proven himself a capable Death Eater so he had opted to hold fast to a less forceful or noble title, knowing that for some men these rewards mattered much.

The waif however had been a constant irritation, least of which was when she offered good advice it was always in an unconscionably condescending tone. Hence _Tam_, as the name clearly irritated her no end.

The waif had betrayed him. And it was _that_ fact which had Lord Voldemort so angry.

'How could a piece of one's own soul betray you?' had been the question which had driven him to the level of ice cold rage which he was experiencing. It was worse in that Voldemort _knew_ the magic of the Diary was supposed to prevent any such duplicity, and therefore it had been his own failings as a student which had allowed this to happen.

She had also taken his snake, a fact which brought Voldemort as close to swearing as he had in many, many years.

When the four mannequins were finished a short while later he turned to the stoic figure in the corner, who had been standing silently and without any sign of impatience for however long it had taken for Voldemort to deign acknowledge him. Had it been time dependant news the man would have interrupted, and had he interrupted without good cause there was always the Cruciatus Curse.

"You may report." Voldemort commanded in his distinctive sibilant hiss.

Without missing a beat the man did as he was ordered, some of his Death Eaters _were_ competent at least. "The last Muggle is dead, and the town has been cleansed. As ordered the bare 'Control Wards' have been put up around the town, and they are ready for whenever you decide complete them."

"I will do so now. Have three of the uncharged Simulacrums delivered to the portkey room, but leave the last one here. Go now." The man ran off without any further words.

Once the town was secure it would be time to do some shopping, and he already had a plan. Planning was so easy for all those who were both talented and Sorted into his Ancestors House, the trick was to make it so no matter what happened, success or failure, the plan will ensure you come out on top regardless.

Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, or even the waif Riddle. While they may have had a few small victories so far, Lord Voldemort had not even begun to move against them. With the Prophecy in hand and a firm decision to sacrifice the proto-Horcrux _in_ his enemy, there was no more need to hold back.

With a smirk he thought one word:

'War!'

','

Lens of Sanity  
Hey, just because Bellatrix is one of my favourite characters _doesn't_ mean I think the woman is sane… _'Chapter 53: Methods of Rationality'_ outlines Bellatrix, it's not a happy tale but it is _good writing_ if that makes sense. If I was evil I'd create an Escort Guard, it's _so_ in character for a canonically evil person to make one as their _most_ evil act. If you wrote a story where Harry went evil, you just _know _he'd take the pretty youngest daughter of an underprivileged family who had slighted him, and then turn her into his most devoted servant.


	11. An Owl or a Cat or a Toad

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CH16 of Rocag's story outlines Grandfather Clocks, what's written here is meant affectionately

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter Eleven: An Owl or a Cat or a Toad

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Two days after Tam returned to Hogwarts Harry found himself alone in his private rooms late in the evening, looking out of his window at the large red ball of a slowly setting sun. He wasn't really thinking about anything much, just sitting and watching in silence while sipping slowly on a glass of firewhiskey. A dark haired young woman eventually strode in as if she owned the place and sat down across from him in what was clearly a seductive pose, lithe form stretched out emphasising the her long legs and impressive curves.

Harry looked her over, and in an offhand tone stated "That time of the month again is it Trace?"

"What?" the Slytherin girl asked in a confusion which snapped her out of her alluring little act.

Harry just gave a half smile before he went on "Do you really think it's a coincidence that every time you just happen to decide to come find me, I'm clean shaven and have just gotten out of the shower?"

Looking uncertain now the girl shifted her weight a little and Harry waved her over, brushing callused fingertips ever so lightly across her shear gown. "Am I really so predictable?"

"Kind of. It has been over five weeks since I saw you last, so I'd say you'll be back in twenty two days." He went on biting her neck for a while before he continued "Maybe you should get yourself a real boyfriend Tracy. Daphne seems pretty happy with that Digby guy."

"Diggory..." she corrected for the hundredth time "...And who would I get Harry? The only person in this school who could compete with our illustrious Head Boy is you, and you are out for obvious reasons."

"I'd make a terrible boyfriend." Harry agreed.

Snorting Tracy corrected "No, you are still head over heels for that Fleur Delacour girl."

"I am not!" The man growled "I wish people would stop saying that."

The two went back to what they were doing for a while before the woman tentatively requested "Will you put me under the Imperius Curse again Harry?" At his look she batted her eyelashes and finished "Please?"

The man sighed a little before his kiss elicited Tracy's characteristic moan of pleasure.

','

_Albus was standing with them all in the Room of Requirement, and had finally decided to aid in Harry's training. "Ah my boy, I would like you to begin with some Permanent Conjugation. Attempt something simple such as a spoon to start."_

_Harry complied and instantly the was a big stuffed teddy bear in front of him, neatly sown and cuddly as hell. He gave it to a surprised and pleased Bella who hugged it close from her seat next to Tam and Hermione. Those two were starting to become exceptionally close._

"_Excellent Harry, now I would like you to conjure a Grandfather Clock."_

_Harry was confused by the request and so asked the obvious question "But I don't know_how_a Clock works. They are incredibly complex, how could I picture one in order to conjure it successfully?"_

_Stroking his beard and looking over at Luna's rubber duck costume with twinkling eyes Albus answered "Oh, but you do not have to know _how _one works precisely, simple use more magic and it will spring into existence. The magic _itself _knows how Grandfather Clocks work."_

'_Of course, it's so simple.' Harry thought, as Luna agreed with a loud "Quack" and a grand gesture with her Cuban Cigar._

_Harry then effortlessly conjured a fully working Grandfather Clock, exactly like the one his aunt Petunia had once kept in her living room. He then stated "You know, this gives me a splendid idea."_

_Three months later he and his friends were standing on Hogwarts Quidditch Pitch, and Harry was outlining his idea._

"_If it is indeed the case that I can conjure complex things without knowing how they work, then I have the perfect method for dispatching Voldemort. I have been working these last few months and now am ready. Observe!"_

_Harry then conjured a spread of thermal fusion shock-lances, a magic tracking barrage of Nanite bombs and a Zero Point powered Mass Driver delivery system, at the same time as the gravity wave implosion field locked everyone wearing a Dark Mark in place._

_He then pressed a big red button marked _**'Bring the Thunder' **_and ten seconds later Lord Voldemort and all his minions were dead, without anyone ever having to be in danger._

"_What?" Harry declared at his audiences' confusion "Just because I don't know how these devices work doesn't mean they are not theoretically possible, so why not just conjure them. Avast! Voldemort could never have seen it coming." He stated this triumphantly pulling a gorgeous French girl into a fiery embrace._

','

Waking with his arms still snaked round the beautiful snake Harry almost let out an audible groan _'It would have been so nice if that would have worked.' _It was a shame Permanent Conjugation like that was completely ridiculous let alone all the other hundreds of things which were wrong with that dream, but Harry still felt a little cheated that his awesome idea wouldn't work.

Tracy awoke a short time later, and about ninety minutes after that when she was heading out of the door Harry asked "Twenty two days, or are you going to think about what I said?"

"I'll at least think about it Harry" was her response, offered with a slight smile as she exited the room. 'Damn, I wish I could say I hate to see her leave, but with a view like that it would be such a lie.'

As he made his way toward the Room of Requirement a while later Harry was once more thinking on his Scar. During her recent stay in the Hospital Wing they'd had a conversation, and Hermione noticed that his Scar was actually _smaller_ than it had been. To ensure it was not simply imagination they had closely inspected this claim using Pensieve memories, and discovered she'd been absolutely correct. The shape was still there, and as the stotting headaches continued the Horcrux was obviously still present. But it _was_ thinner and definitely far less pronounced.

What this meant, if it meant anything at all, was a mystery. Although Harry liked the idea that each time Voldemort died it somehow diminished the amount of Soul he was carrying around in his head. It really _was_ a shame that this theory was almost certainly untrue, because changeover headaches and mindlink connections would surely _decrease_ if such a thing was happening.

Nevertheless something weird was clearly going on, even if they had no idea what that something actually was.

Stepping into the room Harry found that he was annoyed he'd thought of it as a 'Mindlink,' when he'd grown so fond of calling the thing a Soul Bond connection much to everyone's dismay.

As his thoughts returned to the present Harry noticed with unease that Albus was standing in the room, and asked uncertainly "We're not working on Permanent Conjugation are we?"

With a strange look the old man replied "I take it you are continuing your forays into the forbidden world that is the Dark Arts, and I simply wished to observe in order to ensure you are doing so safely."

He let loose a relieved sigh from knowing he was _not_ still dreaming, then moved over to where Luna and Bellatrix were chatting. "Think you can teach me Devil's Fire Bella? It was in the middle of one of Flighty's spell-strings but because of your warning I never attempted it."

"Why do you always call the Dark Lord _'Flighty'_ Harry? You've been doing it for ages and I've never been able to figure out why." This was from Luna surprisingly enough, which was strange because the girl almost always knew what Harry was going on about even when nobody else did.

He frowned in thought as Tam and the others all came into the room "It's his anagram. Voldemort is a cobbled together word in French meaning something along the lines of 'Flight from Death,' but because I keep killing the guy and because it annoys the hell out of him I came up with Flighty."

Bella looked scandalised for a moment before breaking into giggles. Eventually she came back and answered the original question "Yes, I can teach you Devil's Fire, but you know the problems with Dark Art's don't you? They actually _are_ dangerous. That curse is Class Seven _and _covered by the Interdict of Merlin mainly because if someone does it wrong the magic will explode and they would be lucky if only the caster died."

"Would you teach me Dark Magic Bellatrix? I am actually quite skilled but if I am correct in my assumptions Voldemort taught you virtually everything he knew, meaning you are almost certainly further along than I." The request came from Tam, which Harry finally decided made sense given that she was really only a teenager and that she didn't actually know any of the magic Voldemort had learned after he left Hogwarts.

Bellatrix looked at the redhead seriously for a while, her normally playful attitude noticeably absent "What may I ask is the most powerful Dark Arts spell you can control?"

"Fiendfyre." She answered immediately "That is Class Eleven Dark Magic. I convinced my seventh year Defence instructor to teach me it and can fully harness its power..." After a brief pause she went on "...Being able to command Fiendfyre without allowing it to become unrestrained should prove I am capable, do you not agree?"

Bella's purple eyes locked onto Harry and he just said "You're the expert here so it's completely up to you. I'll probably not be the best at the Dark Arts but I don't mind if you teach her, she seems to be on our side."

"Okay; Cousin Sirius could you take Yellow and the bushy haired girl, and go play somewhere else." The individuals named then protested of course, but with a glare promising pain Bellatrix stated "Devil's Fire is covered by the Interdict of Merlin. You three are not ready to learn it, please leave so I can instruct."

"Ms. Black is indeed correct Sirius..." the Headmaster injected "...This magic is treacherous, I am quite glad she is taking her tuition seriously."

Harry nodded to the old man in gratitude, eventually once they were beneath powerful Privacy Charms Bellatrix started "The wand motions are as follows..."

','

_"Ignis-Nocens Maleficus"_

It was incanted silently of course, this was not the kind of magic a person went around bellowing at the top of one's lungs, yet Harry had been having trouble getting into the correct mental state and he didn't want to actually attempt casting it until he was confident he wouldn't kill everybody.

The pure crimson torpedo zoomed into the stationary target when he eventually cast it correctly, five hours after they had begun. Tam _bloody_ Riddle had gotten it down in under ten minutes, yet watching the wooden figure as it was finally consumed in his cursed fire was not particularly pleasant. At eight syllables it was a very slow casting spell, but it was the effect on the caster which Harry didn't like...

Some Dark Magic made the caster feel good, powerful, able to take on the world. And it was _those_ reasons they are considered Dark, because their addictive nature was liable to make the weak willed go too far and end up hurting people who they were not intending to hurt.

This spell, Devil's Fire, did _not_ feel good. It felt corrupting, like it was attacking his sanity, wishing for his destruction.

"You finally got it." Riddle stated unnecessarily "A good spell, from what I understand it is powerful, and the wounds it inflicts on those lucky enough to survive are virtually unhealable." When Harry didn't respond she went on "I hear you have a Pensieve memory which shows how to produce an emerald construct in the shape of a Hydra. Would you share it with me Harry?"

"You are fascinated in the Dark Arts aren't you Tam?" Harry listened for a long while as she went on about what was clearly the woman's favourite subject. After a time he got tired of listening to the virtues and brilliance of the Dark Arts, and just decided to pull out the big strand of memory and toss it into the rune inscribed dish "Maybe you can figure out how to make one of those Hydras, but I think I've just given up on learning it."

"Bellatrix is actually quite the gifted teacher. Perhaps I will be up to dispatching my other self in no time at all, and you can _truly_ stay out of this war altogether."

Harry just rolled his eyes "We should have a duel. I wouldn't mind a crack at someone other than Sirius who is competent... This time next week?"

"Sounds good to me." She answered with a brilliant smile, before diving into the Pensieve.

Harry went back over to Luna and Hermione, plonking down on a beanbag chair next to them. "I think I'm going to stick with mostly _less_ horrible spells from now on, so you guys should be able to join me."

"You use the Killing and Torture Curses all the time Harry, magic doesn't get much darker than that." Hermione protested. When Harry just smiled she huffed and went on "We have come up with another idea-"

"I'm still not fighting Voldemort remember?" He cut in.

"You won't even have to leave the castle, and Professor Dumbledore said that if I could convince you to do it, it should be on November the fifth coinciding with one of his plans. Apparently any distraction on that day will help the war effort."

Even though it was against his instincts Harry reluctantly asked anyway "Okay Hermione, what have you guys come up with?"

She had the look of having gotten a question right in transfiguration, indicating that she was very proud of her idea. "Your mindlink connection with Voldemort, you said that sometimes he can experience something powerful enough to break through your Occlumency shields correct?"

"Y-eah?" he confirmed confusedly.

"Is there any reason it can't work both ways?"

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Harry was kicking back listening with half an ear as Professor Vector outlined an absurdly simple Arithmancy concept, which Hermione was humorously having trouble grasping. He was idly scratching Bellatrix behind the ears and admiring the guttural growl-like purrs coming from her feline form.

The Professors whose classes Harry bothered to show up to were all in agreement that a Bengal Tiger was not allowed in their classrooms, and should not even be in a school full of children at all. However when Harry claimed that she was his Familiar, and that they had no choice as to whether or not she accompanied him wherever he went, _they_ had unanimously agreed that the school rules prevented tigers from being a student's pet.

In an uncharacteristic display of foresight Harry had taken to carrying around his first Hogwarts Letter. The one delivered to him personally by Hagrid back on his eleventh birthday. And quite clearly in the section which marked what made a suitable Familiar, were the bold and damning words written in Minerva Mcgonagall's own hand:

'_Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad'_

And given that a White Royal Bengal Tiger _was_ in actual fact **a cat** the Professors as a whole simply groaned, appealed to the Headmaster, and were promptly informed that Harry was to be allowed to bring his Familiar with him to all his lessons.

"I simply cannot believe Professor Dumbledore lets you get away with-, with, _everything!_" Hermione stated for the hundredth time.

Harry chuckled again "What can I say, it's the good old fashioned Potter charisma. How are you coming along with the easy little maths problem Hermione, would you like some help?"

"No thank you..." She stated primly "...I am getting it fine, I do not need your assistance."

"You used to pretty much _do_ most of my homework when we were younger. I really don't mind." Looking down at the girl's parchment he laughed and said "Besides, you are working with a false assumption, you will never get the correct answer doing it that way."

Hermione looked over her previous work and could find no fault. After taking the time for a moan of dismay she said "I do not understand how you can find this so simple. I know this is basically _above_ O.W.L. level, but I should be able to grasp the concept if _you_ can."

Harry toyed with the idea of teasing her some more, but on a whim decided against it. "Do you think I should take Angelina up on her, not offer, demand maybe... on her demand that I play on her Quidditch team?" The non sequitur threw his friend for a moment, fully breaking her concentration.

"I don't know Harry, do you even want to play?" Before he could answer she broke in with "What am I doing wrong, it looks fine to me, how come I can't get the right answer?"

Harry threw out his Quidditch thoughts, took her quill and parchment, then set about explaining where she was going wrong.

At the end of the lesson Hermione shook her head and asked "How can you just understand these things so easily, and don't give me any of that 'boys are better than girls' rubbish."

"When it comes to Arithmancy we are." He stuck out his tongue and Bella growled a little "But other than that, you are falling into the same trap as the rest of the students. You keep thinking of magic and the universe as if it's in a standard three dimensional Euclidean geometry, when it's _obviously_ more like a saddle shape that's been animated across the M-Axis."

"What does that have to do with today's problem though?"

"Well not much, that was more a meta example. Today you just had to picture the problem as an n7 hypercube and the answer became obvious."

Hermione looked as though she was fighting back the beginnings of a headache, -which was totally Harry's intention- when she said "How could you _possibly_ picture a-"

"Hey Luna..." Harry interrupted, noticing his other friend "...Did you get any of that _'Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce' _you were talking about?"

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Harry woke from his coma in the Hospital wing once again, only this time he had a long straw like tube stuffed down his throat. An extended coughing fit, and a violent tube removal later Harry asked "How's it going Poppy, how long was I out this time?"

"What in heaven's name possessed you to eat that _'Burger'_ or whatever the Americans call it?"

"They are called Burgers in this country too. Besides it seemed a good idea at the time, so how long was I out?"

"How am I supposed to know that, we don't eat them in the wizarding world?" Poppy asked. Then after Harry just looked at her, the Healer eventually grumbled "Fourteen days this time. From what I understand of the concoction you ingested, you should count yourself lucky."

"Can I add the condiment to my normal rotation now? My research said that _if_ I survived, then I should be more or less immune to spicy foods." Harry asked hopefully, he really liked the taste of the burger before he blacked out.

Luna came walking in a short while later, in her hand was a spell reinforced lead container with a clear-view charm on it so it was easy to see the small bottle it contained. The thing was red, had a skull with pain filled expression on the front, and was surrounded in flames. Overall it looked quite safe, and Harry now knew the sauce tasted gorgeous.

"It worked." The blonde informed without preamble "Professor Snape was in a meeting at the time. Apparently the Dark Lord started coughing up blood and screaming around the same time you ate your lunch."

"Did he die again?"

"No, but it was just proof of concept so I don't think we need to worry too much about that." Harry got out of bed eventually and walked out with his friend, when she informed "Bellatrix has been quite worried about you, she's been moping around the castle since she found out you were going to be fine."

Harry just nodded then asked "Anything else I miss?"

"St. Mungo's was attacked while you were unconscious and I believe the Death Eaters stole virtually all the Healing Potions and medical supplies. Random attacks on Muggles are going strong, and Tamsyn is still spending most of her time either in the Room of Requirement or with Headmaster Dumbledore."

'That makes sense I suppose,' Harry decided, 'those two seem to actually be interested in the war.' Since she was staying Tam had taken to wandering through the castle under powerful Illusion so as not to be recognised by any of the Weasley family, slightly altered face shape and hair colour made her unrecognisable. Neither Harry, Albus nor Tam herself could bring themselves to actually _tell_ the Weasleys what had happened, nor were they in any rush for that to change.

After a long while Harry asked "Did anyone come up with a better method of becoming an Animagus than all that boring meditation crap, and agonisingly tedious partial transfigurations?"

Luna smiled and replied "Yes actually, Sirius finally came up with the idea to just ask Professor McGonagall and she said there was a Ritual of Release which should work."

"Okay, but if nobody has ever heard of it there must be some kind of catch." Harry pointed out.

As they turned a corner Luna said "The Potion is a Masters Brew, and the ingredients for the Ritual would apparently cost around two thousand Galleons."

The dark haired fifth year whistled at the enormous price tag and just said "What's that in Muggle? Like a hundred grand or something?" He asked rhetorically "I'm still going to do it though. No way in hell am I disciplined enough to learn it the long way."

After that Harry was quiet, lost in thought on the stroll back to his room, with his new favourite condiment under his arm. "It will be the fifth in a few days right?"

"Four days Harry."

"Right, well saying as the Hellfire Sauce worked, I think I know what I'm going to do to top it." He said, parting from the blonde at his door. Harry wasn't certain, and he wasn't going to ask, but he got the distinct impression the girl was _not_ actually Luna Lovegood.

Tonks lost such a huge bet when he eventually informed her that the disguise hadn't worked.

','

It was a cold dark and stormy night in November, and Voldemort was reclining on his large obsidian throne. The town was finished for the most part, it had taken him and his two adjuncts more than three weeks of constant work to get the multiple layers of wards and ward schemes up to his exacting standards, and he had even cracked one of his old supply caches for rare and powerful rune stones.

His Death Eaters had begun calling the place 'The City of the Dead' which Voldemort found amusing, and so had allowed the name stand.

Recruiting had been a high priority and was going to remain so until he was back to full strength, but the Inner Circle who had avoided Azkaban during his time in the Albanian forest had been well prepared on the day of his first rebirth, and had already been in possession of a detailed plan to bring more numbers to their cause. For the most part the Purebloods were a pack of Muggle fearing fools, but they _did_ have influence and a misdirected longing for a return to what they believed to be the good old days.

Lord Voldemort knew that magical power, skill with a wand, and talent were far more important in reality than who ones parents happened to be. However the Pureblood movement was aligned with his goals for now, and the bodies and influence they brought to his cause made them very useful tools on his inevitable rise to power.

He had done what he could to complete the Forest around his new town also, however he had been frustrated in that the Guardian had not yet spawned. For once it did his defences would be as impenetrable as any location in the world. Not rivalling the Castle Fortress of Hogwarts of course, for that had two intersecting Lay Lines and a thousand years worth of students powering it, but a potent defence nevertheless.

Lucius strode in confidently interrupting the Dark Lord's musings, flanked as ever by his twin bodyguards. The man had been performing his duties quite admirably, since he had recovered from his session of correction under the masterful wand of his sister in law at least. Voldemort had not been pleased to learn of the use the man had put his Diary, however he would admit that allowing him to live had been a good decision.

"Yes?" Voldemort intoned to the blonde man as he knelt in front of his Lord.

Lucius rose and gestured to one of his companions "My Lord, it is well known that you are always on the lookout for any relics of the founders, and of Salazar Slytherin in particularly."

"Indeed," He stated in his distinctive hiss, surprisingly interested "Go on Lucius, enlighten me as to why you are not preparing for tomorrows Wizengamot meeting."

One of the bodyguards opened a leather bound jewellery case, and Voldemort almost laughed 'Ah Regulus, you were not as successful as you once thought yourself it would seem.'

"You have done well Lucius," the Dark Lord said taking the Horcrux he had thought lost in the boy Draco's hands "Where did you come across such a treasure?"

"I have dealings with an Arranger. Even though I must consort with a filthy Goblin to do so, I ensure that there are always people on the lookout for items which may prove interesting."

'So Regulus managed to bypass the protections, and then somehow lost the item he died to steal. Then failed to have it destroyed, and eventually someone sold it for a paltry pile of Galleons.' Voldemort shook his head and said "You have done very well and you will be rewarded Lucius. Now leave, prepare for tomorrow we cannot allow what Dumbledore plans to be successful. Send someone to bring me the fool, it appears as though he may prove useful after all."

Before he blonde man left Voldemort tore down his Occlumency barriers, then performed a very complex Memory Charm, removing the knowledge of precisely _what_ he had offered his Lord and imbedding a command against thinking overmuch about this evenings events.

It would not do for anyone to piece together the importance of the Locket, with what he planned to do with it.

An hour later Voldemort was working on the fool, he had Cruciated the irritating smile from the man's face before he even began, and was now deeply involved in the process. On the stroke of midnight, not one second into the fifth of November, Lord Voldemort's world exploded in agonising pain.

It did not let up for twenty hours.

He abandoned the boy's body mere seconds before it would have failed, a reward to Lucius for his admirable work in recent days.

','


	12. Enter the Founders

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Twelve: Enter the Founders

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It was the fourth of November and outside the wards of Hogwarts Tamsyn Riddle and Harry Potter were squaring off against one another in a professionally constructed Duelling Platform with one Albus Dumbledore officiating. Bellatrix and Luna were wearing identically scandalous 'Harry Potter Cheerleading' uniforms and were rooting for the raven haired boy, whereas Hermione and virtually everyone else -including Sirius- were in their normal clothes rooting for the pretty redhead to beat some sense into him.

Tonks was acting as handmaiden in accordance with her lost bet, nobody was sympathetic because the young Auror was stupid enough to bet against Luna and so they all thought that acting as the blonde girl's personal slave for a fortnight was getting off lucky.

The two Duellists had been going at it for a number of minutes now, with Harry's phenomenal casting speed and seemingly superior power matching well with Tam's effortless command of magic. Not to mention that the spells she was slinging were at best considered 'borderline.' They were outside the wards because Harry wanted the opportunity to use Apparition during a fight, and that could not be done easily inside the castle.

A wandlessly transfigured Gorilla dove into the path of a crimson torpedo which Harry could now easily recognise as Devil's Fire, signifying the day's first piece of instantly lethal magic. Sirius had ultimately given up on Harry _ever_ learning effective transhields, so they instead worked on the animal sacrifice defence. It was totally gross, but worked nonetheless.

"_Crucio."_ Harry bellowed, green eyes narrowed in anger from the display of deadly force, his face splattered with scorched chunks of dead primate.

The Torture Curse from his Horntail wand forced his opponent to drop her mage shield and raise a solid barrier, which was instantly shattered by _'Zbax'_ the famous Shield Buster. Then Apparating as quietly as possible behind Tam's back Harry let loose a point blank ball of fire, which was slapped away effortlessly.

Apparition cracks of varying loudness went on for a long while as the two tried to out-position one another, with Harry eventually taking the black mist of a Pain Giver in the side. He'd managed to block most of it, but his whole left was going to be twitching and drooling for hours.

He didn't quit though, he still had one good hand and one good leg, that should be plenty good enough to finish off such a short little girl.

The two traded direct damage spells for a while, and Harry's very bones were aching from all the repeated Apparition jumps. He did manage to get a Limb Sever through her defence, but the woman seemed to think having ones legs brutally amputated in the middle of a fight was not enough of a reason to give in. Tam's casting speed went through the roof from her stationary position, and she unloaded a terrifying spell-chain from her backup wand which slaughtered the man's defences.

In desperation Harry attempted his new animagus form in hopes of a quick escape, but woke to find himself still in human form, the loser of their _friendly _little duel.

"Fuck!" he laconically stated from the floor.

The redhead's legs seemed to have been reattached and she commanded "Say it!"

He remained silent.

"Say it!"

'Fine'

"I Harry Potter am Tam Riddle's bitch..." he obeyed in a deadened tone "...Happy now?"

"Exceedingly."

','

On the way back up to the castle Bellatrix was pouting because she lost her bout with Sirius, and Luna was commanding her handmaiden to abuse her metamorphmagus skills into looking like a character which could only have been brought forth from the blonde's imagination. Sky blue hair in a bun and twin ponytails, heterochromatic eyes one green, one red, and the body shape of an underdeveloped fourteen year old. Luna also had an outfit ready for her; banana yellow boots, brown well darned pants, useless goggles, three belts, and a baggy orange shirt.

At the sight Harry reaffirmed the decision to _never_get in the way of Luna Lovegood. Poor innocent, totally outgunned Tonksy.

"This is the single most challenging Morph I have ever attempted!" The crazily appearing Auror eventually stated.

Harry looked her over and finally asked "What would you have gotten had you done a more convincing Luna impersonation?"

"It seemed like such a sucker's bet too..." The metamorphmagus sighed "...I didn't really think I was going to lose, but I'd rather not say if that's okay Harry."

"Fair enough." The green eyed teen laughed, sipping on a stabilising potion which will apparently stop the twitching, eventually. "What else does she have you doing Tonks?"

"I'm not overly sure. _Mistress_ Luna has been sending me out for the weirdest things, obscure potions, healing salves and the like. Does it have anything to do with your Dark Lord distraction?"

'Maybe I should have asked someone else to help other than Luna now that I think on it.' Harry mused before replying allowed "That's a definite probably... You know, that crazy morph is actually quite cute once you get over the shear _loudness_ of the thing."

Tonksy did not look overly pleased to learn this.

','

The morning of the sixth of November found Harry and Sirius watching with concern as an insanely cheerful and focused Luna sped about between two large blackboards provided by the Room of Requirement. The girl had a piece of chalk in each hand and appeared to be completing four or five different pieces of work simultaneously.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yesyesyesyes. Gooooood, that's the ticket, Good goodgood. Vampires of course. Yes yesyes." The blond stated this precisely, albeit at a hundred miles per hour.

Luna then sprinted across the room to a third blackboard and set about writing what would turn out to be a palindromic haiku written in mandarin, while somehow humming 'the flight of the bumblebee' at break neck speed.

At the sight Sirius whispered to his godson "I think you broke Luna."

"I think you might be right." Then looking over a detailed parchment which was strewn all over the floor he commented "I think these are notes for a Runic Array. Not just a Rune Set, a full blown _Array!_"

The two stood watching a hyperactive Lovegood in bemused silence until Hermione came up behind them and asked "What did you do to her Harry?"

Glancing over his shoulder he defended "Well, you know how I used the Hot Sauce when I fully opened my Occlumency Barriers, and forced that sensation through my weird Horcrux connection with Voldemort?" Harry asked as a yellow rocket flew between the group to resume her plan which may or may not be about Vampires.

Tying her hair back from the wind Hermione responded "Yes, and apparently the Dark Lord has an incredibly low tolerance for spicy foods, so it almost killed him. What does that have to do with what you have done to Luna?"

"You know how I've been sleeping with Tracy on and off since last year?" Harry said "Well some of those times, the Polyjuice would wear off half way through, and she would turn out to really be Luna." His bushy haired friend didn't really know how to take this news and Harry just went on "Not that I really mind of course, the girl is actually smoking hot...

...Anyway, following your idea to use the mindlink connection, we decided that because magic was based on intent, forcing the sensations of sex through the link was sure to do a number on Voldemort. The theory being that it is the opposite of pain, which seems to be all I ever feel from him."

Hermione massaged her temples, but refused to comment on how that was _not_ in any way her suggestion. "So you used sex. Okay fine, but how does that explain all of this..." she gestured around the detritus and scribblings, not to mention the hyperactive fourth year.

Harry got a little uncomfortable and brushed his hand through his hair before answering "Well you see, every now and then she would start making this mewing keening sound, and then her eyes would roll up in her head and she would black out...

...only, you all said that it was important that the Dark Lord be distracted all day. As a result I kind of kept casting _'Rennervate'_ each time she tensed up and lost consciousness. You know, so that we could keep going." He blurted that last out quickly in the hopes that no-one would hear.

Three pairs of eyes tracked the blonde girl as she dashed about the room.

"How long were the two of you..." Hermione asked, trailing off at the end.

"About twenty hours."

Padfoot sighed "Fine, I admit it. Your animagus form is cooler than mine."

The three were quite once more.

Harry finally asked "Do you think she's going to be okay?"

','

Luna in fact _was_ fine. She kept working at that pace without sleep for two days before keeling over with magical exhaustion, and when she woke in the Hospital Wing she had no memory of any of it happening. Poppy had said that all those potions and healing salves she had made Tonks fetch her helped more than they would ever know. Harry had made sure that all of her _work_ in the Come and Go Room was collected safely, and he gave it to Luna so she could look it over at her leisure.

Tam and Albus' plan for the Wizengamot had been successful because the Death Eaters could not go to their Lord and ask for additional instructions. Most of it was boring political stuff that Harry didn't find the least bit interesting, and the only thing he got out of their explanation was that the old MLEs were being reinstated. Magical Law Enforcers who would do most of the grunt work leaving the fully qualified Aurors to fight in the war instead of having to do things like patrolling and so forth. Apparently the _"emilies"_ had been disbanded many years ago because of budget cuts.

They had tried a few more psychic attacks on Voldemort, but the Dark Lord seemed to have developed a method of Occluding his soul somehow that Tam actually thought was impossible.

Bellatrix continued to instruct Tam and Harry in less standard forms of magic, well mostly Tam really because Harry found himself only a marginally capable wielder of the Dark Arts. The redhead on the other hand was clearly a prodigy, and following their little duel at the start of November the two had been pretty much in lockstep as far as all round improvement went. Sirius and Bellatrix would still win against either more often than not, but it wasn't as close as it had been.

So December had arrived, the Wizarding World had yet to give in to Harry's demands despite now knowing the Prophecy, and his friends were all training in the Room of Requirement as they had been since the whole Goblet of Fire incident.

Slowly over twenty five seconds Harry transformed out of his animagus form and back into a human as he said "I told you I could do it. All you so called experts have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Yes, yes. Well done Harry, we all bow down to your superior grasp on the limits of magic." Padfoot said mockingly "You still take an age and a half to transform though, what's up with that?"

Harry had been told by all the experts and all the books that one could _not_, under any circumstances, perform magic while in one's animal form. However, as soon as Harry noticed that he could hold his corporeal Patronus wandlessly once it was properly cast, he attempted to hold the thing in his animal form too. And regardless of what the experts had attested, he _was_ successful.

"Hey, I'm getting better." The teenager defended "At least it's not taking me a full minute to transform anymore."

As soon as Harry succeeded in holding a Patronus in animal form, he had decided that it _was_ totally possible to perform wandless magic while still an animal. Although it had taken a full month's worth of practice, Harry _had_ finally gotten the knack and was now able to fight in his other form.

Something which _nobody_ would be expecting as it was so widely believed to be impossible.

Gnawing on a raw carrot Harry and his godfather returned to where Hermione and Tam had ensconced themselves, "You are getting good at that bolt of lightning Albus taught you, and wandlessly now too."

"The first time I used that particular piece of elemental magic was actually against you Tam." Harry responded.

She thought about it and concluded "Yes, I remember now. It was when I was in charge of your accommodations before Voldemort's first rebirth." Her hands twitched a little and she finished "You actually hit me a number of times during your stay you may be pleased to learn."

Harry smiled at the girl and repeated her reply from last month "Exceedingly."

','

It was the likely date of Voldemort's new rebirthing ritual and Harry was in the Room of Requirement with Bellatrix, surrounded by three overlapping barriers of intermixing, and incredibly lethal single use runes. Many of them the exact same ones Harrymort had used against Dumbledore, so you can guess just exactly _how_ deadly they actually were.

As the Room of Requirement was in the castle fortress of Hogwarts, this made the place pretty much the most secure location any human being had ever been in, in the whole history of the world. Harry had warned his friends that _anyone_ attempting to gain access to the room would be assumed a threat and eliminated with great prejudice, regardless of what body they happened to be wearing.

Harry had done everything he could think of to prevent yet another kidnapping, and had even gone so far as to poison his own blood, wear a prosthetic arm which looked absolutely real but was filled with racoon blood rather than his own, trapped the hallway leading to the seventh floor to high heaven, and asked Bellatrix to incapacitate him if he even for one second took it into his mind to leave.

For _any _reason whatsoever.

At the same time as Harry was deep beneath the gibbering howling that was advanced states of paranoia, an attack _was_ actually progressing. Only it was not on Hogwarts, and Harry was not the target.

Sirius Black dove beneath a table of his old friend Rosie's bar in Hogsmeade, barely avoiding a greenish haze which was undoubtedly some kind of dark curse. It was a standard terror attack, small groups of three or four Death Eaters causing as much chaos and confusion as they could, Unforgivables being let loose with impunity against mostly fleeing civilians.

Sirius began transfiguring bits of the debris and commanding the constructs to harass the force which was pinning him down. He'd sent out word to the Order of the Phoenix, but for now he was on his own.

At the same time as the battlefield transfiguration attacked he jumped up and snapped off a number of direct damage spells taking down both attackers. Sirius moved cautiously over to the barmaid and found the still attractive woman alive, if unconscious and sporting a likely concussion. The dog animagus eventually made it to the street at the same time as the Auror force arrived, the dark witches and wizards in Death Eater garb turned from their mindless destruction and focused on the new threat.

Unforgivables and skilfully cast dark spells kept the Aurors off balance, but this was what they were trained for so they would normally have been able to deal with the attack. Had it not been for a tall, well built figure sporting an old English broadsword. The colossal number of hexes, jinxes, and curses being let lose by the man was astounding, matched only by the unrivalled power which was clearly fuelling them. The sight reminded Sirius of the single time he had seen Voldemort up close back in the late seventies.

He had the element of surprise as his ally, as the Aurors were mainly attacking from the east side of the village and he was coming in from the south. Sirius managed to get close enough for a high likelihood shot which he whispered and unleashed before any of the Death Eaters had noticed his arrival. The man simply turned, batted the military grade curse aside with ease, and vanished in a silent crack of Apparition.

Sirius didn't really feel any pain, which was singularly strange given that he'd clearly just been sliced in half across the navel, but he was aware enough to note two things before his vision darkened. First; his ass looked better when still attached to the rest of his body. Second; Frank Longbottom had just killed him.

'I thought Frank was dead?'

','

Lord Voldemort stepped out of the large Cauldron and inspected his new body with a now well practiced ease. He was quite pleased and set about constructing Yaxley's new hand with as much cheerfulness as his damaged psyche was capable of producing. Task completed he moved over to the still body of his former host, noting sunken eyes which would undoubtedly be bloodshot, twitching limbs, sallow skin, and a smattering of gray in the boy's otherwise blonde hair.

'Hmm, the younger Malfoy truly _had_ survived. Impressive.'

The Dark Lord then started modifying the boy's memory, removing a number of things he would have knowledge of from the time spent acting as his Lord's vessel, most notably Voldemort's true views on the Malfoy's foolish obsession with blood and inbreeding. He did however make sure to leave his newest Inner Circle member all the memories of warding and the advanced magics Voldemort had utilised while sharing his form. The intension being that the boy may learn something useful from the experience. It made sense given that skilful Death Eaters were more useful than unskilled ones.

Leaving the skeleton crew necessary for the rebirth ritual Voldemort moved over to his "guest," he launch into creating his fourth and final adjunct. Keeping the woman alive while under prolonged Cruciatus Curses was devilishly tricky, Bellatrix had been a master of this and not for the first time Voldemort regretted the loss of his old favourite, still it would probably take hours and there was nobody else in his organisation with the finesse necessary to drive a person insane using this method. Simply holding the curse too long would kill in mere minutes and a dead body was of virtually no use to him, so he was forced to do it himself knowing the right points at which he needed to pause for healing.

Long hours later Voldemort was pleased with the results, and taking the object Enchanted by Helga Hufflepuff, the Dark Lord finished the process of creating his last adjunct. Ensuring their loyalty had been relatively straightforward; it had been devising a method by which the fragments could escape to their objects in the event of the host body's demise which had proven the most challenging. This way the primary purpose of his Horcruxes was intact, at the same time as they could be utilised in this most unusual way.

Returning to his Throne Room the Dark Lord introduced Helga to the other three Founders and ordered Godric to report on the day's activities.

"The attack on Hogsmeade was an astounding success my Lord. Easily a dozen fallen Aurors, and I dispatched Sirius Black myself." The tall man said, ruby encrusted broadsword strapped to his back. He looked the picture of health and strength thanks to the efforts they had gone too in order to repair the damage, most of it done to the body from simply spending a decade in the same room day and night. "At the arrival of Dumbledore himself I ordered the withdrawal. As you commanded not a single Death Eater was lost and the ones who were out of the fight were recovered. The Ministry will have a hard time reporting this as anything but a victory for our cause."

Today had been a good day, his plans were running smoothly, his body was more powerful than ever, and the path to total domination was becoming ever clearer.

The waif may have betrayed him, however the girl was the weakest of them all. Dear Tamsyn would not be able to stand in the way of one of him let alone five.

From his place on the obsidian throne the Dark Lord Voldemort laughed.

','

Harry strode into the Hospital wing a day later and cornered the pretty Healer "What's up Doc?" he asked with a cheeky smile.

"You are here to see Sirius Black I assume?" the woman replied shaking her head at her frequent visitor's antics. When he waved for her to go on she said "He is still asleep I am afraid. How a man can survive being cut completely in half with a weapon imbued with Basilisk Venom of all things I will never know. Bearing in mind timely assistance and a Phoenix it still should have been a fatal wound."

Harry nodded at this and just repeated the old Healer's maxim "_'If you are alive when we get to you, you will be out of here by morning'_..." the teenager grinned "...Is that not what your profession uses as its unofficial motto?"

"He will be fully recovered once he wakes on his own, although he will have quite a nasty scar circling his abdomen." Poppy confirmed, basically proving just how effective magical medicine actually _was_ once and for all.

When Padfoot eventually regained consciousness most of the crew was in the Hospital Wing waiting for the traditional post-injury briefing.

"How long was I out this time?" the dog animagus asked, totally stealing Harry's favourite opening question.

Poppy rolled her eyes and replied in the same tone as always "About eighteen hours. Although I do not believe I have treated you since you were a student here."

The story they had cobbled together from eyewitness sources, Snape, and various other accounts were more or less in agreement. Voldemort seemed to have four new lieutenants, each in possession of a founders object and going by the names Godric, Helga, Salazar, and Rowena. And the two whose former identity their side could determine were that of Frank and Alice Longbottom; who were going by Godric and Rowena respectively.

This was agreed to be 'not be a good sign' especially given that Frank Longbottom had a magical core matched by few and all but second to none.

"Do we have any idea what the last two look like?" Sirius asked after spending a long time spouting foul language over what happened to his old friend.

Albus shook his head in the negative before adding "One thing may leave us a little optimistic. I believe that following this attack we may convince the Ministry to listen to young Harry's demands."

Harry starts at this pronouncement "You think they'll cave?"

"Perhaps."

','

Harry Potter strode into the Ministry of Magic Atrium in early January escorted by his diverse entourage. On one side, a cherubic blond Ravenclaw who appeared to have walked in by accident while shopping in London, a white tiger with intricate black stripes weaving about the humans' legs playfully, an incredibly stressed looking Hogwarts student who appeared to be going over class notes in her head fearful of making a mistake on an exam.

On the other side, the Head of an Ancient and Noble House robed in formal attire, a woman of indistinguishable age or description distinctive in that she had a wild mane of red hair, and the idiosyncratic beard and eye twinkling of the Chief Warlock himself.

Travelling by expanded elevator and moving across various floors the group eventually found themselves outside the Hall set aside for Wizengamot meetings, waiting to be let in.

Sipping the drink he had been offered Harry exploded "Gah, I haven't tasted coffee this bad since I was in Russia during World War Two!" He noted that two of the people within listening distance took note of this statement.

Harry found this quite amusing.

Given the shear amount of information that had been circulated about him, and given that pretty much all of it was contradictory, Harry was reasonable sure that there would be a task force set up at some point in the near future, a task force which would undoubtedly be attempting to discover whether or not Harry _had_ been in Russia during the Second World War.

After a time Albus and Sirius split from the group and took their places in the chamber, one as Lord Black and the other as Head of the organisation itself. Harry was eventually asked to proceed, and from his station in the centre of the room was made to answer a bunch of tedious and inane questions.

Lucius Malfoy had been attempting to lead his voting bloc into simply tabling this discussion entirely, but eventually one member got tired and just bellowed "Okay boy, what are these ridiculous demands of yours. The Prophecy has been determined to be valid, so I at least want to know what outrageous concessions you have in mind."

At the command Harry gave his best winning smile. He was going all out once more this morning; his legendary boots, full formal robes, Hack sunglasses, and the famous Aging Potion he had been using to great effect during the Tournament. "Nothing to onerous I assure you ladies and gentlemen. A few small favours and you will be assured the help of Harry Potter in the tackling of this little Voldemort problem of yours."

That famed mass shuddering greeted Harry's casual use of the Dark Lord's anagram. 'Really now, even Trace has gotten over that foolishness by this point.'

"Do not say the Dark Lord's name Potter!" Lucius snarled.

Harry just raised an eyebrow "You are an Inner Circle Death Eater yourself, surely you're not afraid of the man's silly nickname. Out of interest would you like to remove that glove you're wearing on your left hand? I think it might prove interesting." The two got into a bit of a pissing contest and eventually Harry just shouted "Okay, shut the hell up everyone. Do you want to hear my price for helping you guys fight Voldemort or not?"

"Just get on with it." The same man from before ordered impatiently.

"Well I don't want much really; I need a full pardon for my friend Bellatrix Black for all crimes committed before she joined my side." There is a little shocked muttering which Harry ignored "My other friend will be claiming the old Gaunt Seat on the Wizengamot under the name Riddle during the summer and I need you all to figure out who is currently using that vote."

"Why wait until the summer Harry?" Padfoot asked from his raised platform. 'Oh yeah, I neglected to tell any of my friends what I was going to be asking for. Silly me.'

Harry went for a dignified air when he said "She can do it alongside me this summer once I have completed my O.W.L.s, when I can be considered an adult and able to claim _my_ Family Seat. Trying to get emancipated early would be a bitch if I haven't passed a single exam for magical competence." A few of the members nodded along a little with this, they were all quite well versed in law given their positions.

Harry continued "I need a bunch of licences, Apparition, Portkey creation, Animagus registration, Unforgivable use, and so on. And don't complain, killing the Dark Lord is far from easy, -take it from someone who has done it multiple times at this point- so offering me a 'Double Oh' status _is_ totally reasonable!"

The fifty one members of the Wizengamot argued for over an hour about the logistical things Harry had requested, no firm decision had been made but from the look on the Headmaster's face Harry got the impression they would agree.

Sighing the same random Wizengamot member asked "Is that all, I was under the impression you would demand a huge pile of gold or something?"

"Well..." Harry got a bit of a mischievous smile "...I have a few other personal requests, -that other stuff was really to make fighting easier- but mostly I won't do anything at all unless you guys build me a Zeppelin!"

'What can I say?' The teenage animagus thought to himself 'Predictability was weakness.'

','

At the same time as the Wizengamot was giving Harry everything he wanted, Salazar paced impatiently in the large sterile waiting room. He had destroyed the Simulacrum wearing his image and Vanished its remains long ago, and was now impatiently waiting to be interrupted. After an unfortunate length of time an attractive older woman entered the room and spoke. "What have I told you abou-"

"My dear I feel you have me at a disadvantage." The handsome man cut in, using a voice which most women would describe as mesmerising. "I awoke several hours ago with no knowledge as to how I arrived here, perhaps a beautiful woman such as yourself could enlighten me as to my current circumstance."

The Healer blushed at being addressed in such a way, before haltingly squeezing out "Of course Mr. Lockheart, it would be an honour."

Salazar smiled engagingly.

','

Lens of Sanity  
The Intent-based Mindlink Luna scene was requested by a reviewer back in CH3 … Harry's animagus form was actually quite an elegant solution, I had three bits of information to fold together; it was crappy at first glance, it worked in line with the Intent!Mindlink suggestion, and it might help defeat Voldemort


	13. The Caravel of Caerbannog

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Thirteen: The Caravel of Caerbannog

','

Building a magically enhanced replica of the Hindenburg was not something which could be easily completed overnight unfortunately, so Harry was told that he'd have to wait at least until late February for delivery of his ridiculous demand. The others had gotten the stuff he'd asked for relatively quickly however; the Naked Granger Library of Sex Magic (named not for its content but for how much the title would annoy his friend) was complete but would be housed in the Zeppelin, Tonks triple increase of pay grade despite only being out of the Auror Academy for eight months, Padfoot's all expenses paid trip to the Veela colony in Tuscany, and Dumbledore's one metric ton of Lemon Drops had all been accounted for within the first two weeks much to Harry's admiration.

As soon as the preliminaries had been sent to them by the Wizengamot Harry decided, as a show of good faith, to send Hedwig with parchment reading; _'Rufus Scrimgeour's hand is located between the Centaur's legs under the Fountain of Magical Brethren.'_ Thereby keeping his promise to the irritating politician, and freeing the severed limb from Harry's Fidelius Charm.

So now he was strolling onto the Great Hall of Hogwarts in lockstep with his friend Luna, who was riding on the back of some form of half ostrich, half racehorse creature which seemed particularly partial to attacking random Hufflepuff students for some reason. You had to admire Luna for coming up with what was arguably an even _more _outrageous demand than Harry.

The basic idea being that; in the same way as an ancient Greek wizard bred huge guard dogs to defend his fortress and then came up with the notion of combining them into a single multi-headed version of the sentry, which came to be known across the world as the magical breed 'Cerberus,' or Hagrid's fourth year combination of Manticore and Fire Crab which he'd named Blast Ended Skrewts, ... Luna had taken it upon herself to ask the Departments of Mysteries and Magical Creatures to work together creating a magical animal she said really _should_ exist.

And now poor Justin Finch-Fletchley was staring across the Hall in fear of once more being accosted by the dreamy eyed fourth year and her terrifying abomination.

Taking over a large section of the Slytherin table this morning for a change Harry and his friends set about claiming their breakfast and eventually the green eyed man exploded with "How about 'The Pillar of Autumn'?"

"No!" Hermione vetoed instantly "You are terrible at naming things, what the hell kind of name is that for an airship."

Sirius suggested "The Millennium Falcon?" at the same time as Harry went with "HMS Enterprise?"

"That is the fourth time you two have tried to steal a name from a movie, come up with something original!"

"The Highwind?" stated Luna, "The Black Pearl?" inserted Harry. Seeing as Hermione was getting frustrated Bellatrix tried for "The Nautilus? That's a good name for a ship I think."

The other students still hadn't really gotten used to the fact that terrifying mass murderer Sirius Black, _and_ psychotic lunatic Bellatrix LeStrange seemed to hang around Harry and his other school friends _in a school full of children_ as if it was the most normal thing in the world, taking part in stupid arguments and eating at the breakfast table just like they were normal students themselves.

"Think of it this way Hermione," the strange redhead none of the Slytherins had ever seen before the winter holidays injected "at least they have stopped trying to name the thing after the Titanic or the Hindenburg itself. I for one do not particularly wish to board a vessel which is doomed."

Finishing up his meal Harry turned to the nay saying bookworm "You coming to Arithmancy Hermione? I'm sure we'll be able to come up with a good name by next month so stop stressing, you'll be able to explore your Library in no time."

Following along the bushy haired girl challenged "Yeah, like you're not looking forward to trying out your Diplomatic Immunity in France."

"Well, that too." Harry grinned "I'll be like the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2."

'Let's see how you like international incidents Gerard Delacour you Bounty Hunter hiring arsehole!"

','

Frustrated because of his ninth straight defeat at the hands of the red headed Not-Dark Lord, Harry went over by Luna to see if she needed any help pouring over her notes from last year's incident in the Room of Requirement. They had already decided on their first course of action once payment had been delivered, and _that _had been taken straight from the annotations she had left. But the rest of the stuff Luna had come up with seemingly needed to be translated into making any kind of sense at all.

"I am certain this is important, but for the life of me I cannot figure out what it is supposed to do." The blonde said frowning at her calculations.

Harry took a look at the original parchment and said "I still agree with you Luna, but I'm not particularly gifted at Ancient Runes, so I'm not going to be any help figuring out what your Array is supposed to accomplish either."

The two talked for a little while, most of it basically just Harry acting as a sounding board while Luna attempted to unravel the mysteries of her own mind until Bellatrix eventually sauntered into the Come and Go Room. "Harry, Yellow, you asked me to come remind you when it was time for the meeting."

Scratching the back of his head Harry got too his feet and asked "Yeah, thanks. Do you two want to come with me?"

They nodded and half an hour later the Harry and Luna were sitting across the table from none other than Rita Skeeter in a private room in the Hogs Head. Bellatrix began skilfully massaging the journalist's shoulders as she greeted her old dorm mate "Heya Franny, how've you been? We haven't seen each other in years."

Ill concealed terror flashed across her face as the woman replied "Er-, F-fine Bella, never better." For some reason Harry's friendship with Bellatrix Black made more than just the students a little nervous and he could never figure out exactly why.

Without commenting Harry just went on "Well, how about we get down to business. You two can chat to your heart's content later. Do you agree to my proposition?"

"You wish me to write the first fully endorsed Biography of Harry Potter?" Rita asked, hardly daring to believe such a prospect would simply drop into her lap.

"**Battling the Basilisk**; co-authored by Harry Potter, Order of Merlin, Second Class, Full member of the Dark Force Defence League, and two time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award." He then flashed the woman his well practiced dazzling smile, which Rita had the grace to roll her eyes at.

"You are serious?" Rita asked.

"Of course. Now that I am being commissioned to fight in this war it is high time the public get to know the _true_ tale of the Boy-Who-Lived's life."

They spent the remainder of the day outlining all of Harry's adventures and misadventures over the years. It was an epic tale of romance and adventure, filled with drama, excitement, time-travel, unrequited love, and heroic self sacrifice. With the kinds of magic and swashbuckling unrivalled by even the most fanciful of fictional works.

Harry told of the time he had rescued the Veela Princess from an evil count, the adventure where the primary love interest (Hermione) had been captured in Amsterdam by those lesbian werewolves and he'd been forced to perform a classic Castle Infiltration. The duel at age nine with the man who had six fingers on his left hand, and had murdered his brother at an even younger age, and the occasion when the Dark Wizard 'Gingerbeard' was finally shown to have been controlling the young hero with poisoned 'Elven Candy' and the fiendish Mal_fae_ family.

Overall it promised to be the trashiest mound of pap ever forced through a printing press.

Harry's favourite part was the picture for the cover; Harry was shirtless and using pretty extensive glamours to appear with comically bulging muscles, and Luna Polyjuiced to look like an airbrushed Hermione Granger was pushed right up to him, head tilted back begging for a kiss.

This thing was going to make them millionaires!

','

Standing on what Harry had been erroneously naming 'the flight deck' of his newly christened Zeppelin the teen took yet another experimental spin of its classical wooden ships wheel, which had been installed as a means of steering by request of Harry himself. The airship lurched dangerously as it had each time the boy had done this and his tricorne hat once more fell from his head.

"Harry, I swear to god if you do that one more time I'm going to hex you!" The brunette promised hotly, still not having gotten over being made into a mostly fictional character without her consent.

Travelling above the English Channel Harry was over the moon to be in possession of such a majestic means of transportation. It was far from completed of course. Yes the thing flew, was fuelled and reinforced magically in an attempt to prevent history from repeating itself, but Harry's discussions with Tamsyn stuck in his mind and now the boy was hell bent on procuring the biggest, baddest ward stones money could buy. All with the aim in mind to have a cavernous labyrinth and overall sky fortress which he could call his home, magically expanded spaces not least of the modifications they had in mind.

"Come on Hermione, I've never had a home that was really mine, can't you let me play with it a little?" Harry responded to his friend with big wide eyes, and open orphan-y face.

The girl capitulated instantly with a look of empathy and understanding. 'Sucker!' he thought as he picked up his pirate hat, and went back to piloting his cool new toy. "Are you sure I shouldn't go with my idea for the meeting room Hermione?"

"The one where your throne-like chair would have a trapdoor in front of it, so that whenever you use the phrase _'you have outlived your usefulness'_ it would open, and the person would be forced to fight some kind of terrifying monster in the pit below for your amusement?" The girl asked making sure the two were on the same page.

Nodding along with Tam, the redhead answered "Yes, I believe that is what Harry was referring to."

"Then Yes. I _am_ in fact sure that doing such a thing is a bad idea."

"Come on Hermione, just think of it. Dolores Umbridge comes with a proposal from the Ministry, and I say 'There will be no agreement, let us see how you fare against the Rancor' and then the trapdoor opens and we get to watch her being eaten. It would be awesome!"

His oldest friend sighed and flopped down onto her seat. Eventually she got up the courage and asked the question she had been dreading "Harry..." she drifted off before tentatively finishing "...Y-you would tell me if you were evil wouldn't you?"

The worst thing from Hermione's point of view was the fact that her friend did not actually answer her question.

','

It was an early spring evening and Fleur Delacour was engaged in frivolous small talk at one of her father's never ending Embassy functions. The platinum beauty would not admit it out loud but she was _so_ bored, and had been to varying degrees for _so_ long now. Once upon a time she loved doing things like this, meeting with influential and sophisticated people. The kinds of people who were educated, who knew the difference between Champaign and sparkling white wine, and could discuss art and politics in intelligent ways.

"My, it seems to have gotten dark out awfully swiftly." Robért commented in French with a slight Parisian accent.

Looking over her shoulder at the unnaturally darkened sky Fleur became curious and slowly moved closer to the large window overlooking the Châteaux grounds. The monstrosity which was blocking out the sun dominated the western horizon, and the French woman knew without a shadow of doubt that Harry Potter was going to be somehow involved in whatever insanity was about to befall her life. No-one else could conceivably have thought it a good idea to stencil what might only be described as a squirrel dressed in a green spandex pirate costume all over the side of such a gigantic... thing.

Claiming three glasses of fine white wine Fleur summarily downed them as fast as possible, and about twenty seconds after she had done so the doors slammed open and a notoriously familiar man strode into the room as though he owned the place.

"Bon-Jow-ah! Gets a me sums Vino, Silver Plate!" Harry commanded in mangled French, with an accent which caused most of the room to shudder violently.

In his defence Harry did _not_ immediately sashay over to his obvious target. Instead he made his way through the dignitaries, insulted a number of distinguished guests, hit on a number of their female companions, threatened her father, drank more than his fair share of wine, and caused so much horrified wincing at his failed attempts at conversing in her native tongue.

"I believe you came close to starting a war between our two nations this evening." Fleur commented dispassionately once the irritating Englishman made his way over to her.

Taking the news in stride Harry said "Well fancy meeting you here, I for one am greatly surprised. This being my first diplomatic engagement and all."

"As if you came here for any reason other than to find me 'Arry."

"My, my. Full of yourself this evening Mademoiselle." Seeing her glare directed at the former Hogwarts Champion poor Robért attempted to rescue her.

Fleur knew she should have been unhappy with what Harry did to him, but it was all she could do to hold in her giggles. It would not do to appear as frivolous as her younger sister Gabrielle. "Why are you 'ere 'Arry, stop with 'ze shenanigans and just tell me?"

The man pinned her with that infuriating jade eyed gaze of his, and she fought hard not to react in any way. After a painfully long moment Harry let loose a charming boyish smile and said "I've business in the United States, a cultured diplomat such as yourself would be a wealth of expertise and more than pleasant company."

Fleur was aware that she should fight this on principle, Harry was involved after all, but looking into those big green eyes she just knew she was going to help.

'I really hate you Harry Potter.'

','

"Welcome of the Caravel of Caerbannog, my home away from hom-, well... home away from Hogwarts at least." Harry directed the statement to Fleur as he waved his hands vaguely around the airship.

"Caerbannog?" Fleur asked.

"It's Welsh and means 'Turreted Castle.' It turns out I wasn't allowed to name my Zeppelin the Flying Fortress for some reason." He responded instantly.

"That name was taken Harry," the bushy haired girl added her opinion "...and we named it Caerbannog in honour of your animagus form."

"Oh yeah." Harry confirmed. Turning to their French companion he informed "It ties in with an old Arthurian legend which the Muggles made into an award winning documentary."

"That movie wasn't a docu-" Hermione protested

...and was ignored by Harry as he moved over to Luna "Mistress Lovegood, set a course for the New World. Full fast ahead!"

"Aye, aye, Cap'n" The blonde answered fiddling with her eye-patch and stuffed parrot.

'Really, nobody but Luna was getting into the whole sky-pirate theme.' Harry thought. It was like a joke to them, they'd even vetoed his renaming Galleons _'Sky Doubloons'_

Shaking their various heads the crew remained quiet and set about taking it easy for the flight across the North Atlantic.

Only one room had been completed to everyone's satisfaction, and that was because it was critical the running of the ship; the Duelling Pit. Given Caerbannog's planned outline the airship was going to require a tremendous amount of magic intake to keep functioning at optimal capacity, and the obvious solution was arrived at by both Albus and Tamsyn. In the same way as Hogwarts Castle had wards which were in a large part maintained by the students, the airship would have a Duelling Pit whose walls would efficiently absorb all magic which was cast onto them.

That way they could practice as much as they liked, and so long as they avoided using the unabsorbable Killing Curse, the magic they were using would be taken in and used to keep everything working. Massive redundancy on charging runes was a given, but for the most part Caerbannog would _not_ need to be parked on a Lay Line for ridiculous lengths of time to keep all the magic on it functioning.

Still, it was working fine for now so next stop; the U.S. of Aye.

','

"Look at this place." Harry said floating high above the city.

"What?"

"Well for one; the air is green." He pointed out.

"It does look quite 'ze dump I agree." Fleur confirmed.

"What did you call this town again Luna?" Harry asked.

"The Holly Wood, situated in the North American district of California." Luna answered, looking down at their destination with distaste showing clearly on her face.

Harry sighed before summing up his thoughts "I have never seen such a wretched hive of scum and villainy."

"No." "Non." "My either." "I quite agree." The room added their opinions, for once coming to a rare consensus.

Regardless of first impressions Harry actually had quite the enjoyable and productive afternoon. After completing the day's first little task with the help of Bellatrix, Fleur and Harry had split off in search of Alicia Silverstone who ended up throwing a drink over the English boy's head following a rather clumpy attempt at... well whatever, he had to at least _try_ saying as he was in the country.

Now it was late evening the two were traversing a cold warehouse filled with hanging meat, on their way to complete Luna's mission. Fleur was sceptical at the surroundings, but at her companion's confident self assurance and repeated admonishments that she should trust him, she was holding back the majority of her hesitation. Taking the French girl's hand Harry moved passed a man who was clearly acting as a bouncer, and the two found themselves in a packed club with deafening trance music being played at ear splitting volume.

Wasting no time Harry set about dancing with three stunning young women who looked to have stepped straight out of an Eastern European fashion magazine, leaving the platinum blonde to fend for herself. Things were going well for the first half hour or so, that was when the sprinkler system began drenching the dance floor with anti-coagulated blood.

Harry managed to spot a guy who must have been at least two meters tall sinking his fangs into Fleur Delacour's pretty lithe neck, before _his _Vampire companion began gnawing on his own carotid artery.

','

Tossing himself into one of the chairs across from the stylish metallic office table Harry set about applying Essence of Dittany to his injured neck. He handed the displeased French girl a shooter of Holy Water and Silver Nitrate which she downed with a wince and went back to healing her own neck wounds with medical charms which were far out of Harry's league.

"A Vampire Rave 'Arry? I simply cannot believe even _you_ would do these things sometimes."

He chuckled at her attitude and handed her a bottle of swill the Yanks laughably called lager. Pulling another 'Budweiser' from his expanded pocket and cracking it open finally he made eye contact with the man he had come all the way to the States to meet.

"You killed five of my clan." He stated evenly.

Looking the person over Harry decided that this Vampire basically had the same hair as he did. "We did not ask them to bite us. It is hardly our fault that our blood 'dusted' them now is it?"

The man was an influential Vampire by the name of Deacon Frost, and was _not_ a clan Elder despite his attitude. From what Harry and his friends had been able to discover, Frost was in the process of setting up a bit of a coup d'état with regards to the Vampire nation, resurrecting one of their blood deities and putting himself top of the pile so to speak.

Not that they cared overmuch, it was an internal matter which the Wizarding World had very little right or inclination to become involved with.

After the silence dragged on Frost flicked his feet onto his desk and sat back in a comfortable slouch. "You ... are the infamous Harry Potter."

"So it would seem."

"And you have trespassed on my property with your Veela concubine." Fleur's eyes narrowed at this designation but she wisely contained any outburst.

Smiling over at his friend's composure briefly, Harry returned to the matter at hand. "I have brought you a present."

Flicking a box dragged from another magically expanded pocket onto the desk, Harry just stared at the man as he pulled out the severed head which it held. And watched as the Vampire's eyes widened in recognition.

"Is this who I think it is?" Frost asked.

"If you think it is Wesley Snipes, then yes."

"But how? We've been trying to kill this fucker for twenty years." He asked in disbelief.

Harry just laughed "The racist Vampire hating prick has been cutting his way through the clans for years, but he was arrogant enough to make his living as a Muggle actor not fifty miles away from where we sit." He shook his head "Bellatrix and I met with his bodyguards and that crippled what's-his-name earlier today. It wasn't even that difficult because we got to him during the day."

There was absolutely no truth in the claim they had then stolen Snipes' 1968 Dodge Charger and crashed it into a cop car. Anyone saying otherwise would be talking out their arse _and_ risking an international incident.

"Well then. I must confess that such a gift makes me far more amenable." Frost admitted.

Nodding Harry got on with the purpose of the meeting "I'm sure you are aware of the situation we are facing in the United Kingdom."

"I am not even a Clan Elder, why come to _me_ begging for aid?"

Doing nothing but cock an eyebrow at the man's understating his importance Harry went on "I do not come looking for Vampire fighters Deacon. Voldemort has the service of a Werewolf named Greyback, and _he_ promises to be a pain in my arse." Frost made an agreeing gesture to this statement, Fenrir really _had_ made a name for himself over the years "We're not here for help, more like we want Vampire ...neutrality

Although I have been told that _'carrot'_ gift is one thing, but you will be more likely to agree with our position if I offer a _'stick'_ too. So to that end I would like to inform you, and the Vampire nation at large, that if any of you side with Voldemort I will **decimate** your numbers. Personally removing one tenth of the Vampire population."

Fleur watched as Deacon Frost and Harry Potter looked one another over without flinching. A meeting of equals as etiquette demanded, but with a certainty on all sides that the talks could only go one way.

','

Hermione and Tam were lounging in the main room of Caerbannog, chatting idly following quite an enjoyable day of sun and sand in the States. Bellatrix and Luna were playing some hand game with a tied length of string, and the room was quite relaxed, listening to tunes from the local radio station which Tam had managed to finagle the Wireless into picking up.

The coalescing shape of a silvery Bengal Tiger broke this relaxed scene, and the Message-Patronus in Harry's strained voice snapped the four too attention.

'Death Eater ambush. Help now!' it then reeled off just enough detail for them to create a hasty portkey.

A distinctive tugging sensation later all four found themselves in an out-of-the-way alley, which would later turn out to be the closest entrance to the Vampire Club. Harry and Fleur were back to back trading shots on either side with masked and unmasked figures, who had somehow tracked their target to this location.

Tam wasted no time unloading her vicious magic of the Darkest varieties pairing up surprisingly well with the bookish teenager, while at the same time Bella and Luna made a beeline straight for Harry. Those fighting on the North side of the battle went down in an unexpectedly short amount of time given that all bar Harry himself were focused on those combatants, but when they finally linked up retreat proved impossible.

"The Portkey and Apparition wards let in reinforcements but don't let us out." Tam screeched when the initial escape failed "We're going to have to hoof it some distance from here."

They attempted to do just that but a powerful figure with a ruby hilted broadsword grasped in his offhand Apparated into the newly cleared North side of the alleyway, escorted by three masked Death Eaters and one unmasked showing the easily recognised image of Draco Malfoy.

'Honestly things just keep getting better' the redhead thought 'now we have to try and dispatch the strongest Founder!'

At least Harry was in high spirits, he was laughing and exchanging shots freely now that he'd managed to bring down one of the adjacent buildings, cutting off southerly escape as well as any assault from that direction. Maybe some of the enemies had been crushed too, it was a nice thought. Tam watched as Harry tossed a handful of roasted peanuts carelessly in the air and wandlessly transfigure them into living shielding; six neon blue Cornish Pixies which hovered around the teen waiting to accept one of the casually thrown Killing Curses.

Tam briefly wondered when Harry had taken to using peanuts in battle, the protein in them really made it a stroke of energy efficient genius, but the thought was interrupted when the living Horcrux going by the name Godric entered the battle against them personally.

The man fought in a similar style to Tam which made sense, only the spell selection demonstrated left the redhead a little envious. Hermione, Luna, Fleur, Bellatrix, and Tam herself went five to one against the primary enemy, leaving Harry to face the chaff alone.

','

Battling these idiots was a breeze, Harry had been joking around, taunting them and so on as he effortlessly took down his lesser opponents. Now he was down to his final challenger and his last Pixie defender dove into an AK saving him.

Seeing the other five had the main problem in hand, Harry grinned "Well hello there Draky, nice to see you so far from the good old halls of Hogwarts" as he ducked another jet of green 'Man, he's pretty quick with those Unforgivables I'll give him that.'

The two traded a few spells and a few insults, bringing into question the others parentage and so on, but Harry wasn't expecting to take a Trefoil Butchering Curse in the neck and across the torso.

'Oh my gods, I got killed by Draco _fucking_ Malfoy.'

','

Draco knew he was on the wrong side of a mismatch, but he was the last Death Eater standing and he really had nothing to do but suck it up and keep going, hope that someone would come to his aid. What was worse was that Potter didn't even appear to be _trying_, which was infuriating in the extreme!

The time spent playing host to the Dark Lord had been an intensely painful experience, although unrivalled in its usefulness. Not only was he catapulted into the ranks of the Inner Circle, but by practicing the magic his Lord had utilised Draco was now one of the more competent duellists. His Killing and Torture Curses could be snapped off with nary a thought, and his personal favourite would win the day for him in an unanticipated victory for their cause.

Seeing Potter duck his Cruciatus, and mouthing off once more, Draco sent three bands of serrated magic at his foe. And watched in surprise as the boy he'd hated since the first year Hogwarts Express fell dead to the ground in three separate chunks.

'Never fuck with a Malfoy, Potter.' The silvery blonde triumphantly commented in his own mind.

','

Seeing her Harry fall, Bella went mad, and Godric wisely chose to drop the escape wards and activate his group portkey, barely managing to save his men's lives in the face of such a terrible threat.

','

At the same instant that Harry Potter lost his life an Oracle by the name of Sybill Trewlawney uttered a long lost rhyme, last heard on forgotten island of Avalon by a young woman named Morgan LeFay:

The lions sing and the hills take flight  
The moon by day, and the sun by night  
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool  
Let the Lord of Chaos rule

...and was unfortunately overheard by none save a disbelieving class of fourth years during their morning Divination class.

','

Lens of Sanity  
Transhields, the Bletchly Twist, and peanut transfiguration were swiped from Perspicacity … Sybill's prophecy was a _"Chant from a children's game heard in Great Arvalon, the Fourth Age," _so I obviously didn't write it myself … Lastly; Blade-One came out in 1998, so the events the movie chronicled probably happened around '96ish, Harry in _this _story prevented those events happening by showing up at the Blood Rave one week early.  
Perpendicular Universe remember?


	14. Funeral for a Friend

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Fourteen: Funeral for a Friend

','

Having friends die sucked.

Having a funeral for a friend dying sucked more. Funerals sucked in a different way, but they _did_ suck far more. It must have had something to do with gathering a group of people together for the expressed purpose of acknowledging that someone had died. Her mother Selene Lovegood had died when she was nine, and she had reluctantly attended to _that_ funeral too. Suffice it to say that event had sucked.

Luna did not like funerals.

They had been gathered around the Cemetery not far from the War Memorial and Harry was to be buried right next to his parents, whose graves her friend had admitted to never having visited. There had been a long procession of inane comments from a number of people who, let's face it, probably hadn't ever even _met_Harry. And yet the politics surrounding the situation gave a number of people the opportunity to hear themselves talk, at great length, while in front of a _"captive"_ audience.

Riddle had taken charge after it had happened. The group had been back aboard the airship and spiriting across North America, and later the North Atlantic, before the body had even gotten cold. Poor Bellatrix had been quite brutally Stunned during most of the trip, not only for their safety, but her own.

That was a fortnight ago, now Luna was sitting in Godric's Hollow wearing her bright yellow sundress, and watching the crowd dispassionately. Seated alone, and without the support of her family, Fleur Delacour was crying. A fact which really shouldn't have been all that surprising to the blonde. Luna had gotten her first opportunity to interact with the French woman on the four day crossing over to the States, and had come to a conclusion regarding the woman's character that would infuriate her should it ever be voiced:

Fleur and Harry were essentially the same person.

Tell the Veela girl _that_ to her face and she would be liable to start tossing curses at you, but in Luna's opinion it was quite an accurate description. For different reasons and in different ways the two were totally off their heads, both spew tremendous quantities of manticore shit at anybody and everybody they interact with, and experience a lifestyle so disconnected from the rest of the world as to be entirely abstracted from the lives lived by those who would otherwise be peers.

So to see the woman openly grieving at Harry's memorial service shouldn't be all that surprising.

The others were all behaving as expected; Hermione, Riddle, Sirius Black, and Headmaster Dumbledore, all acting pretty much as you'd expect them too. Bellatrix had been in terrible shape at the loss of her friend but had ended up cresting that into a lasting state of numb shock, only really coming out of it when the redhead _"Tamsyn"_ occasionally attempted to look after her.

Luna stalked out and let loose a loud crack of Apparition at the first opportunity to get away.

Funerals sucked. Luna friggin' well _hated_ funerals.

','

Arriving by Knight Bus to the part wizarding village of Ottery St. Catchpole in Devon, Hermione thanked the conductor absently and took off in search of the missing blonde girl. She would have preferred to utilise her recently acquired license and Apparate to the location. Unfortunately she had never visited before, and she didn't trust her understanding of the whereabouts well enough to risk a jump.

It briefly occurred to Hermione that one of her friends from first year lived in the same town, but as she'd never been invited over she didn't know the coordinates for that location either.

The brunette knew she was not acting in the most intelligent way coming here on her own, but since _The Event_ had happened all the adults in her life had gone back to treating her like a child. A situation Hermione found maddening in the extreme, due to the implication that her thoughts and ideas were listened to, not based on merit, but because she was one of Harry's friends. With him now dead it was like she had been stuffed back in with the other students, and labelled 'just another clever little child.'

So out of spite she had ignored everyone's advice and gone in search of Luna by herself, despite the standing danger posed by travelling alone while the British magical community was in a state of Civil War.

As she closed on a large pond or small lake, Hermione heard the indistinct noises of her target, well before she got close enough to lay eyes on the odd girl herself. Luna having been missing for two days, ever since the end of her first friend's funeral. Eventually Hermione realised she was listening to a strange song:

"Oh a plimpy one or two or three,  
A plimpy I would like to see.  
A plimpy small and lightning quick,  
I'll catch a plimpy with my stick!"

Long blonde hair falling to her lower back, the girl was singing the jaunty tune and waving a long tree branch back and forward as she looked across the water. "There you are Luna. You have been missed, we were all starting to get worried about you." Hermione said in a gentle but carrying voice, which the blonde blatantly ignored.

"Ohhhh a plimpy is slippery and often wet;  
You'll never catch one with that net!  
A plimpy stew is mild and sweet;  
A plimpy stew just can't be beat!"

Cautiously approaching the younger girl Hermione spoke softly "Luna please look at me, there are no such things as Plimpies. Aren't you ready to come back to the Castle?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a plimpy one or two or three,  
Plimpies come and play with me.  
So raise your stick and sing along  
to my spiffy plimpy caaaatchiiiiiing soooooooooooonnng!"

SMACK! Hermione had attempted to interrupt her song near the end. She really shouldn't have grabbed the girl's arm because Luna span round and cracked the older girl across the face with all of her might, breaking the stick and knocking Hermione to the ground.

With such a look of anger and hatred on her usually placid face, Luna looked down at her. Nobody had ever looked at her with such unrestrained malice before, and Hermione knew for the first time what it was like to have another person hate her _personally_.

"Why are you here you stupid little girl?" was the question directed at her from behind focused eyes holding no regret.

Suddenly Hermione didn't even know.

','

A week before they were scheduled to take a maiden voyage on the, as yet unnamed Zeppelin, Luna was exiting the Headmaster's Office, leaving the wise old man with a feeling of having missed something important during his discussion with the quirky young woman.

As Dumbledore went in search of a pain relieving potion to treat his unanticipated headache, Luna was skipping toward the Room of Requirement in high spirits. Her life had been on a definite upswing over the last year and a half, ever since she had _recognised_ Harry following his incarceration in Azkaban, as being someone else who saw the world as it really was.

When a person suddenly started seeing the world's insanity for what it really was, they _did_ begin to act a little strange, but it _was_ fun to be able to do so with a friend; which was exactly what Harry had turned out to be, and the reason her life was currently so much fun.

The room was appearing as if it were a cavernous expanse of jagged rocks and precious stones for some reason, implying that Harry had gotten bored with using the same rooms over and over, so had opted for someplace different and unusual. He was lounging around with Bella and appeared to be tossing chunks of his lunch across the room and attempting to wandlessly transfigure them various animals.

"Do you have any control over which animal they transform into?" Luna asked.

Harry just shook his head "It seems to be mostly subconscious, but the size tends to be determined by power and whether I'm trying an organic to organic transfiguration or not." He mused before looking over at the blonde "Any luck on your Runic Array?"

"None at all," she informed cheerfully "although I am getting the impression that the haiku has something to do with the Lost City of Atlantis for some reason."

Bellatrix wandered off as the two got into a discussion about magical theory, after a time Hermione strolled in "...and you pair _that_ with the Lyapunov–Malkin stability theorem-" spotting the fifth year walking beside the redhead, Luna switched topics without missing a beat "-of Flumpawump Evacuation. An important part of any person's daily ablutions as you well know."

Hermione frowned and asked "What are you two talking about?"

"Flumpawumps." Harry replied. "Dealing with the damn things can be pretty distracting but Luna's right, leaving them where they are is plain unhealthy."

Tam shook her head and left the room in search of Bellatrix, while Hermione went on a long rant about none existent creatures. Eventually the blonde voiced a total non sequitur throwing her through a loop. "You seem tense, when was the last time you had sex with Harry?"

Hermione's eyes bulged and after a little spluttering said "What? I've never. We're just friends Luna."

"What does that have to with anything? Harry and I are friends, yet we have sex all the time." The older girl couldn't respond to this in any kind of intelligent way, and Luna's jaw dropped open in feigned realisation "You mean to tell me that you have joined Harry's Dark Harem, but you haven't taken advantage of all the free sex?"

"I HAVE **NOT** JOINED A DARK HAREM!" Hermione screamed in outrage.

"Of course you have. Do you really think it's a coincidence that, Sirius aside, all the members of our Dark Army are hot girls?"

With a final screech the bushy haired girl span and legged it from the Room of Requirement, having completely forgotten what she had been meaning to do that evening.

As soon as the door swung shut Harry let out a full belly laugh. "Do you think she's ever going to figure out you're just messing with her?" He asked

Wrinkling her nose Luna said "This from the guy who held a loud conversation where he could be overheard, talking about how his airship was going run on Orphan Blood Biodiesel."

"Come on, its cheep and renewable. How could Hermione come to the conclusion that I'm going evil if I'm so concerned about the environment?" Luna stuck out her tongue "You know, maybe one day I'll just tell her that a Crumple-Horned Snorkack is a silly sounding name for a cousin species of Unicorn which is thought to be extinct."

"Snorkacks _did_ occasionally kill and eat the people they found, but do you honestly believe that telling her would be enough of a hint though?" she asked "I mean, we go to a school of magic, Britain's national sport is played flying around on line segments, and the poor girl _still_ thinks these things are anything but crazy."

"I still like her though" Harry stated.

"Yeah, me too." Luna admitted "Even if she can be a bit patronising sometimes and I have to fight the urge to strangle her."

Luna Lovegood's life was pretty sweet as had been said, she had even managed to scam the Headmaster into allowing her to re-print _'The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates'_ as a present for Harry and his upcoming expedition to the New World.

','

Looking down at the sixteen year old Muggleborn, Luna had to brutally suppress a wave of remorse as she noted the darkening bruise right across the girl's cheek. She carelessly tossed the shattered branch over her shoulder "Why are you here you stupid little girl?" The jaw of the girl in question dropped open but she didn't make a sound "Just leave me alone Hermione. I have neither the time nor inclination to put up with your idiocy today."

She stalked off in search of another plimpy stick, leaving the other girl on the deck. To her credit Hermione did not immediately leave, and after a time caught up with the other girl. "What happened to you Luna?" She didn't answer. "What have I done to deserve being attacked, I was just worried about you after you went missing."

"You haven't done anything new Hermione, you are just a narrow minded fool like everyone else." Luna took a deep breath "I'm sorry, I should not be taking this out on you ... It is going to be strange not having anyone sane to talk to anymore."

Feeling quite insulted and more than a little confused Hermione asked "I don't understand?"

"Yes. I can well believe that." Luna chuckled a little "You do not even see the perverse nature of having a man who murdered one of my closest friends walking around Hogwarts as if he owns the place."

"W-what? Who?"

"The redhead you have been so smitten with, Tom Riddle." Blue eyes gazed over the water in the direction of her lost friend's old ramshackle home. "Ginny Weasley was great you know, I am aware that you never really knew her, but she was funny and intelligent. We used to play such silly little games when we were younger, and yet she was murdered and the man responsible suffered no punishment at all."

"Tam isn't that bad, you heard the circumstances yourself, it was Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy who were mostly responsible," Hermione protested "_and_ Headmaster Dumbledore trusts her."

"Yes Dumbledore, such a bright shining beacon of goodness that man is, but we were talking about _'Tamsyn'_ who, by the way, was named the feminine by Harry to annoy him." Spying a small round fish with two legs ending in webbed feet, Luna brought down her stick with a sharp crack, catching the _'none existent'_ creature unawares "You know that Illusion our mighty Heir of Slytherin is so proud of?"

Hermione was about to speak but instead simply nodded "I did some research and the thing is kind of ominous in its implications. It is called a Shadow's Masquerade. One part visual glamour, one part confusion ward, and a wide area application of a Legilimency branch titled 'Suggestion,' which kind of makes all the unsuspecting people hit by it less inclined to pay close attention to her appearance."

"That sounds quite effective, you said it was ominous?"

"Having someone who has only studied for seven years at Hogwarts capable of commanding such magic is not a good sign. I hope I am wrong, but without Harry there is a real chance that we have yet _another_ Dark Lord to deal with."

Hermione moved over to the younger girl and set about inspecting the strange, and apparently very real, plimply she had caught. "Harry wasn't your only friend at Hogwarts you know."

Resting her head on the other girls shoulder Luna did not reply.

','

The following two months passed in tedious monotony. Sirius was drinking far more than could be considered healthy, but it was chalked up to him having pretty much no real friends left; Peter had betrayed him, James had been killed by Voldemort, Remus by Snape, and now Harry by his own bloody stupidity and overconfidence.

He got out of bed with a throbbing migraine, and excused himself from the well put together apartment presumably owned by Sarah? Sally? whatever the hell her name was, making his way back to Grimmauld Place.

It was an incredibly good building in which to mope.

Hermione had been spending more time with Luna, studying for her O.W.L.s mostly, but with the two of them keeping an ear open regarding news of the war. The surprising recovery of Gilderoy Lockheart and his subsequent activities toward the new _'emilies'_ was suspicious enough, and hearing of how the Head of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones had signed off on him leading the forces just hammered nails into his coffin.

Yet when the two got permission to meet with the Headmaster they were informed that; Yes Professor Snape _had_ reported that the man was spending his free time in what was now being called 'the City of the Dead,' and was being addressed by senior Death Eaters as Salasar. So their insight was basically of no help at all, and a sudden burst of competence from the fraud of a man had not gone unnoticed by their side of the conflict.

Tamsyn and Bellatrix had nigh on vanished off the face of the earth, but as they _did_ occasionally show up at mealtimes, Luna's fears seemed to be mostly unfounded. In all probability the two were focusing on their efforts improving Tam's increasing familiarity with the Dark Arts, as well as making improvements to Caerbannog which the redhead had mostly taken possession of in Harry's absence. At least spending most of her time with Tam gave Bella something to occupy her mind, and thereby _not_ go on a one woman rampage in an attempt to track down her nephew then cut him into tiny little pieces.

As she had repeatedly promised to do.

Many, many times.

Strangely enough the book 'Battling the Basilisk' had been first on the top ten list ever since Rita Skeeter had released the thing, and appeared as though it might have actually made Harry a millionaire after all. Hermione didn't remember ever being kidnapped by lesbian werewolves, but if the experience was anywhere near as enjoyable as her fictional counterpart seemed to find it... anyway, that was unimportant.

They had seen Tonks a few times over the last eight weeks and she informed the teens that the Order had joined battle with several groups of Death Eaters, but the Dark Lord seemed to be laying low for the moment and had not been spotted taking part in any fighting at all. Although the Godric Founder had been chased off by Headmaster Dumbledore personally during an attempted assault on the Potter's graveyard.

"Why does it feel like it's already over?" Hermione asked the younger girl.

Luna shook her head "I don't know. But I understand precisely what you mean." Shrugging off the bad feeling she cheerfully asked "So you are writing an article about how to get around Gamp's first law of elemental transfiguration?"

Eyes lighting up Hermione started talking about one of her favourite subjects "Yes, it is fascinating. I got the idea when I realised how strictly the law defines _'Food,'_ you see all you need to do is..."

Bleak thoughts firmly behind them the two continued on their walk to the library.

','

Getting aboard what Harry had decided to give the ludicrous name of Caravel Caerbannog had always been a challenge. One could not realistically Apparate to it, as the transient nature of its location made knowing the correct coordinates of one's destination a matter of great frustration. Using a broom as a method of entry was quite acceptable for the most part, only Tamsyn _hated_ brooms, always had and always would. So it was down to her to finagle a method of ingress which was both efficient and dignified.

And being the genius that she was, Tam had come through with flying colours. A dedicated fifty mile portkey, whose destination was mounted not to a location fixed to the earth, as all other portkey's in history had been, but a destination quantified by a similarly dedicated Rune Stone. Tam was quite proud of her solution given that nobody else had ever accomplished such a feat, and now would be able to come aboard what she was traitorously beginning to think of as _her_ airship, regardless of where the thing happened to actually be parked.

"I am going to have to trap the living daylights out of the atrium at some point." She idly mused, easily lifting the forty kilogram Rune Stone into position one handed.

Tam had recently conducted the same strengthening ritual she remembered doing in sixth year, while only a little shaky on the ethics front, the thing _did_ require a strong stomach, but was not really evil. Amusingly enough the most difficult part in setting it up had been the same for Tam as it had been for Voldemort; acquiring enough gold to purchase the raw materials. She remembered the effort she had gone too originally in order to have LeStrange float her the cash, and had been forced to do something similar with Sirius Black.

Nevertheless it had been successful and her body, while surprisingly strong despite the slight of build, was now back to a more manageable vigour. It was highly unusual but thinking back to her past life, Tam now remembered the events as if she were wearing the body of a pretty redheaded young woman, which of course made some of the memories quite bizarre indeed; Cynthia Hamilton and Augusta Sinclair for instance, Tam reflected in amusement.

She made her way back to her room and set about dressing in a hodgepodge set of Battle Robes for this afternoon's expedition with the Order of the Phoenix. Sheathing her Unicorn hilt dagger, -she hadn't been the one who killed it and the creature was already dead, so best not let it go to waste- Tam felt her choices over the past few months to be quite freeing.

Among a number of changes she had made was the firm decision that she would not become like Voldemort, regardless of the cost. And too that end Tam had concluded that the date of her birth was to be May 29th 1993, a mostly symbolic act which dissidentified her from her other self, whose birthday landed on New Year's Eve.

So here she was three years old, in the body of an almost fifteen year old, and with memories totalling roughly twenty two years; when taking into account past, present, future, and time spent conversing with a prepubescent child whilst trapped in an enchanted Diary. And for the first time, in all of that time, she had chosen a side. Tam would likely never be one of those 'die for the cause' types, but she was here, and she was fighting.

Tamsyn Riddle was the real Heir of Slytherin.

She would win this war and the world would know it to be true.

','

Luna was walking side by side with Hermione as the pair went to pick up a late dinner from the kitchens. This was something the older girl liked to do on occasion, as it gave her the opportunity to meet the Elves face to face, and let them know how much she appreciated all the work they did around the castle. There was a reason Mistress Grangy was their favourite student after all.

Snacking lightly the two made their way across corridors and up flights of stairs. They were once again discussing the ridiculous biography Harry had commissioned not long before he died, with Hermione still not quite understanding how the Evil History Professor, _Septimus Snake_ had such a devoted following amongst a certain section of the fan base, despite being a parody and having a glaring lack of any positive characteristics at all.

After a time the two overheard a gaggle of fourth year girls singing a little chant they had presumably picked up some place or other, and as the last line was uttered a horrible, ear splitting wail of agony was released from the shorter blond girl. The howling went on and on, and blood began pouring from her mouth, ears, and tear ducts. Not a moment later her eyes popped and chunks of flesh spattered across the walls of the hallway, then there was nothing. Nothing at all bar silence.

Standing naked as the day she was born was a tall attractive woman, seemingly unconcerned about her state of undress or the fact she was scanning the area with face, back and full perky chest all smeared in the blood and guts of a teenager she had just murdered. The strange figure ran her fingers through her hair steadily a few times, removing gobbets of grey flesh and splattering them to the floor with distain.

Taking in the terrified fourth years, the woman began to move both her hands in a complex pattern of gestures, shooting out a wraith of grey-black energy which crawled through the fourth year girls' eyeballs, and caused the group to drop to the floor unconscious.

An attack on her fellow students snapped Hermione to full awareness and she pointed her Vine wood wand at the enemy. Who raised her eyebrow and spoke in a soft, confident tone "Stand down Hermione. That was nothing more than a memory modifier, please relax."

"W-what? Who are you?" Hermione demanded.

"Why I am Luna Lovegood of course." The woman replied with a slightly sardonic smile on her face "Now, would I be correct in assuming it to be the evening of June the Eighteenth 1996?"

Hermione managed a small nod.

"Excellent, would you be so kind as to assist my acquisition of a Time-Turner? Today is the day of the Holy Forest Massacre, and I would greatly appreciate any help in preventing such an event from happening again."

','

Lens of Sanity  
The Plimpy Song was swiped word-for-word from **SlyGoddess**, who wrote the only legitimately _sexy_ Girl-Who-Lived I've ever read … Tamsyn in this story is waif-thin and now officially played by Karen Gillan _(Amelia Pond from Dr. Who)_  
For the most part FanFics tend to play Luna as scenery, never really having thoughts or feelings of her own. Hopefully this was a bit different, playing her as being exactly as sane as Harry. Also, Googleing _"Flumpawump" _actually makes _that_ scene funnier


	15. Let the Chips Fall where they May

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Fifteen: Let the Chips Fall where they May

','

"Should you not be trying to find some clothes?" Hermione asked as the two strode toward the seventh floor and Dumbledore's Office.

Wiping her hand absently across her bare chest and looking curiously at the still damp bloodstains, Luna turned to her friend "Probably." When it appeared she had done talking the blonde continued "I would dearly love to take a shower also, but time is of the essence. The attack will begin in a little over five hours ago, so we don't have much opportunity to dawdle."

The tenses of Time-Turning were not new to Hermione so she just took them in stride, but it was something else which was bugging her, and although the teen had a pretty detailed suspicion she still had to ask "How do you know this, and why do you look so much different? And why does it look as though you've got chunks of your own dead body in your hair?"

"Well, that's because I kind of _do_ have chunks of my own dead body in my hair…" she stated absently. Coming on the stone gargoyle that acts as the guardian to the Headmasters Office, Luna began another series of hand gestures. When a bright ball of pale blue light sprang up in front of her palms she commanded "Move out of my way guardian or I shall blast you into rubble, I do not have time to argue!"

The gargoyle just sneered before it was brutally smashed into ten thousand pieces of cold inert stone.

"You did that without a wand." The brunette commented as the two made their way up an animated spiral staircase.

"So I did."

"I've never seen even Harry command wandless magic like that."

"True, but it wasn't wandless magic. I've been living in China for the past four years and I stopped using a wand altogether about a year after I arrived…" Luna said rooting around in the Headmaster's oak desk, and after almost vanishing in one of the massively expanded draws, came across a familiar hourglass necklace "…I've been using Wu Jen exclusively since then."

Suspicions confirmed Hermione briefly wondered if most of the populace would come to the same conclusion, or if it was just because she was friends with people who did not appear to believe there _were_ things which were impossible.

"So you are a time traveller then?" Hermione asked, quietly hoping that she was just experiencing a psychotic episode, and that none of this was real. Unfortunately for her the blonde woman just nodded. "May I ask how old you are?"

Pressing her nakedness against the teenager, Luna wrapped the Time-Turner around their necks, just before they vanished across time she looked deep into her big brown eyes and answered the query "Twenty five. And do not worry, this time we are going to win the war."

','

"So, what? Everyone died in the fighting or something?" Hermione asked looking out the Office window, seeing the school grounds bathed in early afternoon sunlight.

"Meh. They're not dead anymore so who cares." Luna waved if off negligently "Would you mind calling Fawkes?"

Hermione just looked at her in confusion "Fawkes?"

"Yes Fawkes, he is a Phoenix." Seeing as she was about to protest, Luna went on commanding "Humour me."

"What? Just call his name or something?" The blonde nodded and Hermione uncertainly said "Erm, Fawkes can you come here please?"

There was a bright flash of flame as the immortal creature appeared between them, then it glared at the naked blond woman as if to say 'Should you not be trying to find some clothes?'

"Would you mind fyreflashing us to the outskirts of the Dark Lord's main base?" Luna asked and the Phoenix looked over to Hermione who kind of nodded, her weirdness meter was beginning to max out already.

"Are you implying that I have a Phoenix at some point in the future?" Hermione manically whispered the question.

The two were consumed to the very core in cleansing fire, reappearing on the outskirts of what was once the town of Greater Hangleton and Luna said "Not at all. You have one right now!" The bird tilted its head then took to the air, winging off at an incredible speed in the hopes that it may yet support its current bond mate.

"I-I, Bu-, I, What?"

'Hmm,' Luna mused 'I think I may have broken her.' Aloud she said "Come on, there is an attack underway and we need to try and call a retreat before they all get eaten by the monster."

Hermione chased after her barefooted companion as she vanished into the dark, ominous looking forest. Despite the current circumstances the use of the word 'monster' was not lost on her.

','

Moving the Pain Giver onto her offhand, Tam set about conjuring a flight of infectious arrows and sending them toward the incoming threats. Things were not going well, it was almost a fortnight until the full moon so the werewolves gathered in this forest were far from at their strongest, and it had seemed a better day than most to attempt a small force infiltration.

Yet wouldn't you know it, but they had been expected.

Diving into a clumsy roll beneath the pouncing man, Tam sprang back to her feet and viciously brought her left arm up, slamming her ridge-hand into the side of its neck. Ritual enhanced strength messily taking the creatures head from its shoulders in a vicious explosion of gore.

As soon as she had noticed the ambush, Tam had shot off a Message-Patronus to Albus, who was acting as backup on this mission. It was funny but her other self had never been capable of the necessary emotion to power even the Mist, and here she was new name and body, capable of constructing a powerful silvery Nagini. A small perk maybe when you're frantically sending your fastest spell-string at far too many opponents, but a perk it was nonetheless.

Organ Liquefying Hex, Shadow's Glaive, a '_Lacero_,' an '_Impactus_,' then back to the Organ Liquefying Hex.

Time and again.

And again.

Again!

'Just one more time damn it Tam!'

'Just one more.'

Again!

Tam took a Banisher like a slap to the side and flew careening into a huge tree, but retaliation died on her tongue the instant she saw _why_ Auror Tonks had attacked her; decimated forest floor and small fires taking up the area she had been crouching mere seconds before.

It was a ten minute running battle later before Albus and the reserve force of Order members arrived on the scene riding on the back of Thestrals. Stupid fucking wards even stopped Phoenix travel apparently! Her team of eight were down to five but they had dealt with the initial werewolf pack long before the reserves had gotten to them.

"Push on or retreat?" The purple haired Auror requested orders, from her position tending to her aunt Bellatrix.

Tam and Albus looked to one another. "They probably do not know we are here and have survived, or there would have been more opponents." The old man said.

"And we are already more than half way through this accursed forest." The youthful girl finished.

"I will escort your team through," Dumbledore informed them "we cannot permit Amelia's other assault go to waste."

The two teams vanished from sight using various methods of Invisibility, Cloaks, and Disillusionment Charms.

They then made their way deeper into the Forest.

','

Cresting a small rise Hermione and Luna were side by side, each overlooking a scene of absolute bedlam, and attempting to come to terms with what was happening. There was a good reason this event came to be known as a Massacre, and it was quite apparent looking over at the sheer number of humans who were down, some sporting burns and others lying in blood splattered chunks. The majority would still be alive if the information Luna had acquired was as accurate as she believed it to be, but focus was inexorably drawn to the main problem. The sight was of a Phoenix intercepting repeated balls of superheated fire, which were being unleashed from the eyes of a creature which utterly defied description.

"What in Merlin's name is THAT?" Hermione asked, staring in disbelief at the reptilian monstrosity which was attempting to incinerate the Headmaster, as the old man directed his forces.

Taking a deep bracing breath Luna distractedly answered "That, Chibi Granger, is a Jabberwock…" She closed her eyes and, setting herself for what she was about to do, finished "…and now I need to go down there and fight it."

"You can't!" She gasped, looking at the horrifying _scale_ of the monster "You'll be killed for sure fighting that thing on your own."

"Probably." Luna agreed "You are to sound the retreat as swiftly as you can. As I am sans Vorpal weaponry, I am unsure as to how long I can keep it distracted."

Hermione's mouth got as far as opening in protest before the lithe and _still bare_ twenty-something charged off toward the creature's back, chanting unusual syllables under her breath. Hoping her own silencing charms held fast the brunette ran off to do as asked, she was frustrated but at least she was following orders.

First enchantment in place Luna closed on her opponent, but must have been sensed because the gigantic form twisted its neck at an impossible angle, and regarded her with unforgiving eyes of flame. Not slowing in the slightest the woman closed the distance and part trusted, part hoped, Fawkes would save her from frying.

Parrying a claw moving with viscous speed and intent, her second spell lost a measure of its built up energy and she was forced to begin again as she padded up the back of the abomination's rough, scaly hide. Feet shredding to ribbons on the insecure footing, Luna began what could be described as an intricate dance, had anyone been paying close enough attention to watch her, or if one could be said to _dance_ whilst attempting to run full tilt up a Jabberwock's back. She breathily sang out the chant needed for her spell:

_"xīng xīng zhī huǒ kě yǐ liáo yuán"_

Intent building in menacing gold light around her shaking fist, the blonde barely avoided the gnashing of teeth, connecting sadistically with the creature's skull. Sick with fatigue Luna tumbled thirty feet to the earth, barely able to make out the vines and trees of the forest rising to her aid. Her first spell had activated on command, wrapping time and again around the Jabberwock, and pinning the colossal reptile to the ground.

As Luna met with the mossy earth, the small hope that it would buy enough time for her friends to retreat shot through her mind, this enemy was simply too powerful to be stopped so easily, and they may even take it into their hearts to bring her unconscious form with them when they go.

Oblivion claimed Luna Lovegood, with a smile on both of their faces.

','

Hermione felt a sad smile break across her face as it did every time she looked at that plaque; _'The Harry Potter Wing.'_ It had been so typical of him to actually pull off something crazy like having the hospital officially renamed, and seeing the words on polished bronze always made her smile in that way.

She was visiting the Hospital because she had been told Luna would be woken soon, and for the first time in months she was allowed to be present during one of these briefings. Something about the fact that Hermione had taken part in the battle seemed to entitle her to actually learn what in the hell was going on first hand.

Sitting in the surprisingly comfortable chair Hermione got out the N.E.W.T. textbook she had been reading now that her final O.W.L. exam had been sat yesterday afternoon. History, which she just _knew_ she had done terribly on, confusing the leaders of the 1659 Goblin Rebellion with those of the Goblin Revolt of 1695.

By ones and twos the room began to fill; Sirius, Tonks, Tamsyn and Bellatrix. The Headmaster swept in with his characteristic robes, side by side with Professor Snape. After a little idle chat, Madam Pomfrey was asked to wake the older version of her Ravenclaw friend. There were many questions which needed to be answered, and ever so many more which Hermione had to restrain herself from asking in front of the whole group.

"Hey guys, how long was I out this time?" the blonde woman asked as soon as she regained consciousness. Honestly it was like a bloody tradition or something!

Well it counted as a first Polyjuice imposter question at least, and a very long time was then invested attempting to further ensure that the woman was actually who she claimed to be. Somehow Hermione had never really doubted that it was the case, fantastical events like these became surprisingly common when people like Luna Lovegood were involved.

"I am satisfied that the young woman is who she attests to be," Dumbledore eventually stated, he had probably been doing his Legilimency thing "…as unlikely an explanation as time travel appears on the surface. Do you wish to adjourn to my office to discuss your reasons for resorting to this course of action Ms. Lovegood?"

"Nope, I'm good." Luna said cheerfully "Besides, a bedside briefing is traditional at Hogwarts."

"Would you tell us what happened?" Hermione broke in "You admitted to me that we all died fighting."

"Yeah you did." She confirmed looking distractedly about the room.

"Well…?" Tonks prompted when it appeared she had done talking.

Surprised by the prompt, Luna asked "Well what?"

"Do you not intend to share some details, or maybe outline your plan to see that it does not happen again?" Hermione questioned.

"Oh, no not really." Luna said to the surprise of everyone in the room "And it's not like I actually have a plan."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE A PLAN?" Sirius bellowed, his temper having been a little shorter in recent history "What kind of person travels back in time without a plan!"

"There is no need to act so boorish _Siri_. I prevented lots of people from being eaten by the Jabberwock, and after we do a little ritual at the end of next month, I will have achieved both of my goals." Luna informed "In fact, I am rather surprised the time travel thing actually worked."

The room collectively began rubbing their temples. It seemed that her ability to cause headaches without appearing to even _trying_ was still running strong, despite an additional ten years of life.

"Ritual?" Tam asked, being the one with the most perseverance.

"Oh my yes." Luna confirmed getting out of bed. While she _had_ been cleaned up since the battle she _still_ wasn't wearing any clothes! "Without Harry we cannot win this war at all."

Clearly distracted by the sight Sirius absently stated "Harry's dead Luna. I don't think you travelled far enough back in time."

Arching her back and stretching her arms over her head, the -y'know, _stunning_- blonde woman let out a long yawn "He'll get over it. And when he does the chips will fall as they may."

','

The majority of the people at Hogwarts were quite put out and frustrated with Luna's turning down of their generous offer to talk about what had happened. Their desire to plot a timeline, figure out how it had all gone wrong, and attempt to prevent the future she had implied from happening had similarly been rebuked, albeit gently.

Greatly perturbed by this stance they had eventually asked for any useful information regarding Voldemort's organisation, and Luna had told them the former identity of what she claimed was the _most_ _dangerous_ Founder; Amelia Bones was apparently kidnapped and used in the Dark Lord's most recent rebirth ritual, then later turned into Helga unfortunately.

This news went a long way to explain how the MLE Director could work so closely with '_Gilderoy Lockheart_.'

"I don't understand why you won't tell us anything about the future, something might be important. We can come up with a plan!" Hermione asked her later that day. "At least put some memories in a Pensieve for us like the Headmaster asked you."

"You know that wouldn't actually work don't you?" Luna said, looking at the young woman strangely "A Pensieve is a Runic Bowl which focuses retrospective Divination, transforming a memory fragment into the images of an event which happened sometime in a person's past.

For example, I've seen the memory of you losing your virginity to Viktor Krum at the end of your fourth year, but as I wasn't personally at the event, I couldn't pull the memory from my own mind and watch it again."

Hermione spluttered at the casual mention of her sex life, and Tam looked over at her speculatively. "How does that prevent you pulling out memories of the future which you were present for yourself?" The redhead asked after the moment of contemplation.

"Because my travelling back in time destroyed the entire universe, therefore those events never occurred, and a Pensieve would not be able to Divine any happenings which have never happened.

This is why modifying memories is so fiendishly tricky to do to at a high enough standard to be worth doing at all. The modifier is forced to modify the recollection of the event _after_ it was Divined but _before_ it was viewed, and then the modified version needs to be held in the Occluded mind separate from the original, non-modified version."

Hermione and Tam ignored most of that, correctly guessing that Luna had only added all the superfluous information to confuse them, in the hopes that they would become distracted, get headaches, and stop asking her things.

"Wait," the brunette stepped in "you destroyed the entire universe?"

"Meh," Luna waved it off negligently "I also turned poor younger Luna into a pile of gore. It turns out that the method I used to travel back in time stipulated that their couldn't be two of us walking around at the same time."

"So how _did_ you travel back in time?" Tam asked.

Cocking her head to the side the woman sighed "There was a lot of Arithmancy involved. You two are girls so you wouldn't understand."

Entering the Owlery in search of Hedwig, Luna studiously ignored the twin glares and indignant comments which insinuated that _she_ was a girl.

','

Pocketing a Hand of Glory he intended as a gift for his son, Lucius Malfoy stepped out of Borgin and Burkes into a spartan Knockturn Alley. His wife would complain if she knew about it of course, Narcissa was forever telling him that he was spoiling the boy, but Draco was truly coming into his own in recent days so a present over and above the Firebolt rival he'd received for his birthday earlier that month, was not all that serious an issue.

Striding arrogantly between his two constant companions Lucius mused that the time spent playing host to the Dark Lord he'd been so dubious about, had changed Draco for the better. He was more focused and dedicated to his studies, and was finally applying the lessons which had been taught to the future Head of the Malfoy family in his youth. How to turn things in ones favour, skills at dealing with politicians and the axioms of good business to name just a few. The real things one must know and practice if they aspired to be a leader in this world rather than a follower.

Draco had finally started acting like a true Slytherin, and his father was more proud of the man he was becoming than he would ever be able to express.

There was a flap of white feathers and sharp talons dug deep, painful gouges into his shoulder. A "hoot" activated the familiar feeling of portkey activation. And Lucius found himself in what was clearly a woman's bedroom.

"-on't try to fight the feelin'  
Because the thought alone is killing me right nooww…"

Were the words being sung out enthusiastically from the next room. Lucius was a Death Eater, and a fairly skilled one, so he did not take the apparently benign surroundings for granted. Especially due to the failure of both Apparating out of there, and activating his own emergency portkey. Someone had just kidnapped him and he would not take them lightly, so he drew his wand and stood in a professional duelling stance, patiently waiting to attack.

"Uh, thank god for mom and dad  
For sticking two together  
'Cause we don't know hooowww..."

Sang the remainder of the bouncy little verse, as an attractive blond woman came into the room dressed for sleep and singing into a hairbrush.

"Heee-ey Yaa-ah, … Lucius." Came the cheerful greeting as he unloaded a rage fuelled Cruciatus. Or at least attempted to. After five perfectly cast and perfectly failed spells were attempted, the woman admonished "Now that is just plain rude Lucybear!"

_"tiān xià wū yā yí yàng hēi"_

The woman's hands came up, and the elder Malfoy's world went black.

','

It had been more than a month since the arrival of time travelling Luna Lovegood, and her subsequent abduction of the Head of the Malfoy family. The man had not woken or stirred in the least since he'd been hit by whatever spell the blonde had used on him, for all intents and purposes he was deep within a magically induced coma despite Luna's protestations that it was nothing of the kind.

They had managed to wheedle _some_ information from the woman, but in Tam's opinion she was even _more_ annoying that Harry could be when he was intentionally attempting to be infuriating. Essentially Tam had learned that the war was lost because Voldemort actually _was_ more powerful, more intelligent, better supplied, had more allies, and was considerably better at planning than they were.

From what Luna had said over the past several weeks, they had gathered that the Founder's Objects Voldemort had collected and turned into Soul Anchors, still had numerous active Enchantments on them. Not only was Godric the most magically powerful, but the Sword gave him superior battlefield enhancements in physical strength, perception and so on.

Basically this made him unnaturally capable in combat situations.

Only Luna had stated that Helga was the most dangerous, and after considerable effort they had eventually pinning her down as to the _why_ of this statement. The Hufflepuff Cup's original use was primarily for Healing, and this property made Helga _sane_. Absolutely, one hundred percent, totally and completely, sane!

She would always do the thing which made the most sense, in every situation, and from Luna's vague description Tam had concluded that this truly was far more dangerous than it appeared at first glance. Helga seemed to be the kind of person who would just shoot James Bond at the first opportunity!

While she was not a Dark Lord herself, this concept actually offended Tam.

At one point in her memories she _had_ wanted to be a Dark Lord. Only, what was the point of becoming a Dark Lord at all if you just _shoot_ James Bond?

Visibly calming herself, Tam looked over the graveyard at Godric's Hollow for a long moment.

The rest of the Founder's Objects had other Enchantments which were each bad news for their side in their own ways. Not to mention that there was apparently some bleed through from having them walking around which gave Voldemort, who was the primary piece of Soul, a little extra _edge _he otherwise would not have had.

According to Luna nothing they could possibly try would succeed, and in the long run Voldemort was going to win.

Which was why they were here on the 31st of July, the anniversary of Harry Potter's birth, attempting to go through a variant of the same ritual Voldemort had repeatedly gone through, on the off chance that Harry was not as dead as he appeared to be. Tam didn't think it was going to work, she'd tried to think of ways to attempt this herself, but the magic just wouldn't work like that.

You couldn't heal death plain and simple.

','

'Okay, Bone of an Ancestor; Lily Evens-Potter's femur, taken from her gravesite on the day of the ritual.' Luna mentally checked off.

'Blood of an Adversary; Lucybear is nice and awake, screaming obscenities behind a Cone of Silence' She thought in approval. It was funny but this man was actually more potent an ingredient than Voldemort would have been, given that his son had killed Harry originally, he had been the one to force Harry into Azkaban, and had been the target of considerably more of his vitriol than anyone else.

'And lastly Flesh of a Servant; Bellatrix really is a darling. It's a shame she died in the Holy Forest Massacre, I hardly remember how sweet she was at all.' Luna finished her mental checklist, remembering the long conversation the previous evening getting the woman to promise _not_ to chop off her entire hand despite making the ritual slightly more likely to succeed. Bella had eventually conceded that filleting her Dark Mark into the rebirth potion was symbolic enough, and would have the added benefit of still being able to use both arms when fighting...

..._Fighting __**for Harry**_, that was kind of the main point that needed addressing,

Luna looked over to the redhead, who had some pretty serious doubts about this being possible. She could conceivable have told Tam that this was actually _her_ future analogue's idea, however that would be nowhere near as fun as watching the woman spin herself out of shape, trying to figure out what the hell had happened once it worked.

In the other future, the expert on Horcrux magic had ultimately concluded that Albus had _in reality_ been correct in his reasoning of Harry's scar, and that the proto-Horcrux soul fragment had entangled with Harry's soul. Only Horcruxes were _Physical Objects_, so when Draco had killed him, Harry's life had been anchored on this side of the Veil thanks to Voldemort's Horcrux. Harry's soul had survived by hiding out _inside_ his forehead.

All the diagnostics they had run on the corpse simply confirmed that his body was dead, and the stupid bastards had never even checked that his world famous scar, -you know, the one widely known to be involved in ground breaking soul magic- still contained _soul energy_.

Shaking her head at the idiocy Luna unceremoniously dumped her old friend's rotting carcass into the massive cauldron and signalled it was time for the show to get underway, High Noon being only a few minutes from now.

What sucked most about the old timeline was that by the time Tam figured out her mistake, Voldemort had already torched this place with Fiendfyre.

','

'Right, where am I? And what in the hell happened? And why do I taste hot sauce?' Harry thought swimming in darkness. 'I was talking to that Vampire guy, and we had a few drinks. Oh yeah, we were attacked. Shit! Malfoy killed me, **Lame!**'

His eyes cracked open and he found himself standing stark bollock naked, up to his knees in a large cauldron, and with a fair sized crowd looking at him.

"Buenos dias cockbites, guess who's back!" was his opening comment, but it was for the most part ignored as everyone seemed to be staring, kind of _lower_ than he was expecting. "Erm, Albus my eyes are up here you know?"

The old man had the grace to blush and Luna, who seemed to be on an Aging Potion for some reason, clearly fought back an outright laugh. Looking down at his body Harry noticed the reason for such undivided attention; he believed the medical term to be _"priapism."_

"Perhaps one of you could conjure me some pants?"

"No!" Bella wailed.

Lips quirking Harry asked "No?"

"You can't let that go to waste Harry!" She said.

"You are aware that you're nine years older than my mother would be right?" She shook her head as if to say 'I don't care' and Harry arched an eyebrow "You really want to do this?"

"Gods in heaven YES!" Bella screamed, and at his acquiescence grabbed onto his, well it wasn't his arm, Apparating the two away with a loud crack.

Some days it was just good to be alive.

','

Lens of Sanity  
"Wu Jen" is a D&D Character Class referenced in NoFP, but I've never played, nor do I speak Chinese, so feel free to wince painfully at my mistakes. Hands up anyone who recognised the **pinyin** incantations.  
You've read Luna as a basket case spouting moonspeak and believing in imaginary creatures. You've read her as a Seer. Bungle had her using Loony as a defence mechanism. Darth Marrs is currently writing her as a sociopathic Escort Guard beautifully.  
I've never read her as Chaotic Neutral and doing random crap just for the hell of it, so I'm tentatively claiming this is original … maybe?


	16. Let the Lord of Chaos Rule

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Sixteen: Let the Lord of Chaos Rule

','

Strolling around Caerbannog on the first of August, Harry was lost in thought. Tamsyn really had outdone herself over what had apparently been the best part of four months. The airship was looking great, clean lines and expansive corridors, albeit with a kind of modern gothic look, if that made any sense at all. It almost made Harry want to neglect giving her a huge ration of crap for emptying his entire trust vault. She'd done it before informing the world he had died and the Goblins had locked down his gold.

The gods alone how many ward stones had been employed expanding the internal space so extensively, and improving what he was still calling 'the flight deck' so it now had a gigantic window. The thing must have been a pretty involved Clearview Charm to look that good.

"From the freshly shagged smile plastered across Bellatrix face, I'm guessing you were at it like the mighty rabbit animagus you always claimed to be." Luna pointed out cheekily, coming across his meandered wanderings.

"I've told you before I prefer the term Vorpal Bunny." Harry replied pedantically. "Normal run of the mill rabbits cannot compare to an apex predator such as myself."

"That's another thing which has been bugging the crap out of me for years." She commented from his side "Did you know of the existence or necessity of Vorpal Weapons _before_ you died, or was it a coincidence based of Hermione's stupid movie?"

"Oh yeah, Bella mentioned something about you travelling back in time from a future where Voldemort won." Harry said, failing to answer the question. "You saved her from a Jabberwock last month or something?"

Similarly ignoring his words Luna went on "And if I asked you nicely, would you tell me whether or not you have any kind of plan, or are just making things up on the fly and getting lucky?

Some day's I've thought it was the first; such as the day I learned the unbridled usefulness of owning a mobile command centre like this Zeppelin. Whereas other day's I've thought you actually _were_ just fucking with everyone, and my retarded time jump is nothing but a pipe dream with no real hope."

Mulling over the question for a while, Harry strolled down a spiral staircase "Tell me why you think I alone can win the war, and I'll answer you." He eventually threw out.

Luna concluded this was probably the best opportunity she would ever get at an honest answer. And because the question had been worming its way through her head for over a decade, she'd take it. "Two reasons. First, your being alive leaves the Hallows Magic unbroken…" She ignored his frown of incomprehension "Second, you and the Dark Lord have a pet Oracle named Sybill Trelawney in that she can _only_ produce True Prophecies about one of you or the other."

"So is it _'the power the Dark Lord knows not'_ bollocks or the _'marked him as his equal'_ horseshit, which has perked your interest?" Harry asked.

"Not a big fan of Divination and Fated Destiny?" Luna queried in amusement.

The recently resurrected Potter Heir chuckled "Let us just say that I am sceptical of any future which contains me."

Luna laughed outright at this statement "Well, that certainly goes in line with my reasoning Harry." After she got herself back under control she finished "There was a Prophecy, -more like an ancient legend in truth- which Sybill spoke out the instant you quote, unquote _'died.'_ Long story short I believe it was labelling you _'The Lord of Chaos.' _Essentially it is my belief that anyone who is capable of defeating a Dark Lord using a combination of Hot Sauce and Intercourse, is someone who can end an unwinnable war in our favour."

'Lord of Chaos is a cooler sounding sobriquet than Boy-Who-Lived, and not as bog standard as Chosen One, I guess.' Harry concluded in his own mind.

Seeing Harry work his way through the Security Spells on a large hefty locker, scope around inside, and then promptly slam the metal door closed, Luna decided it was time to prompt a response.

"You promised to answer my question if I answered yours!"

"Hm?" Harry muttered clearly disturbed about something. "What did you want to know again?"

"Have you been using some kind of twisted plan, which involves scamming an airship out of the Wizengamot, or are you making everything up at random just for the hell of it?"

"Oh. Can't it be both?" He said, possibly answering honestly.

','

"She will not tell us a bloody thing!" Tam complained in a whiny frustrated voice.

Leading her down the same spiral staircase as earlier Harry smiled. "Language gone downhill recently I see." He taunted.

"Shut it, I'm serious!" seeing his mouth about to open she cut in "If you are about to make a stupid joke about your dogfather's name I will destroy your body using Fiendfyre!"

Lips quirking Harry asked "What's the problem really? You were never this uptight before."

She ignored him and his childish insinuations. "Did Luna tell you her method of time travel at least? I am fascinated by how she pulled it off, only she won't tell me because…"

"…girls can't do Arithmancy." Harry finished to her loud grunt of annoyance. "It's pretty straightforward, she was just trying to get a rise out of you..." She waved him to go on "...For reasons I'm not going to get into, the earliest jump point she could get was the instant she heard my new _Lord of Chaos_ prophecy, meaning that the temporal transit coordinates were fixed. Following?"

"Okay." Tam responded with knitted brows.

"The main problem was that she needed to get the spatial coordinates to within 40 light seconds, otherwise she would not be close enough to her younger body to magically latch on and burst through."

"Forty light seconds? That is quite a long way, much longer than the diameter of the Earth." The redhead protested.

"True. However the Earth is rotating on its axis, as well as around the Sun. Our Solar System is located on the western spiral arm of the Galaxy, and is itself rotating around the central black hole. And gods alone knows how far or fast the Milky Way is moving from the central explosion which happened 14 billion years ago."

The woman stayed silent for a while digesting this. "And you are saying Luna somehow worked out the physical distance travelled between where her 25 year old self was, and where her 15 year old self had been? And she managed it to within an insanely small margin? Even with magic that sounds completely impossible!"

Coming on the same room as earlier Harry finished "She says she had a full year, four Masters, and a stolen supercomputer. But yeah, kinda badass." Opening the sturdy metal door of the locker his eyes narrowed dangerously "Now will you please explain exactly what **THIS** is doing in my airship!"

','

Hermione was having a good day and she was looking forward to seeing Harry again now that he was alive once more. Ever since she had learned that her future self seemed to have a Phoenix, she had done the obvious thing, and researched the Hogwarts Library. As well as her own Library aboard Caerbannog, for everything she could find on Phoenixes.

Hermione shivered in pleasure, as she did everytime the thought of owning her own library passed through her mind.

Anyway, what she had learned from her research, and from a few discussions she'd had with a helpful Professor Dumbledore, and a far _less_ helpful Luna Lovegood, was that Phoenixes were kind of maniacs. And they search the Earth for the kinds of even tempered, peaceful, and all round _good _people to bond themselves too. This helped the immortal avians stave off the desire to go berserk and kill everybody apparently.

Hermione had always thought of herself as a good person, but to learn that she would one day be ratified by a creature of light and goodness gave her a warm fuzzy feeling which brought a wide smile to her face each time it occurred to her.

A smile a little like THAT actually, she decided passing Bellatrix in the hallway with a shake of the head. Putting the thought aside Hermione continued on her search for Harry.

So the other thing she had learned about Phoenixes, which she hadn't known until the Headmaster had shared his suspicions, was that they seemed to remember everything they had ever done, and everything they would ever do, from their first hatching until they presumably died. That was if Phoenixes _could_ die at all, as nobody was ever able to confirm or deny the possibility.

This meant that Fawkes knew, and had always known, that he would one day lose Dumbledore and bond Hermione as his familiar. Yeah, the Headmaster said that it was more like owning a cat than a dog, in that the witch or wizard bonded to a Phoenix was the pet, and the Phoenix was the snooty overly opinionated master.

He'd smiled when he said it, but still… weird.

Regardless, it was this understanding which had prompted Luna to have Hermione call her once and future Familiar, and have the bird fyreflash them to the battle zone. Knowing, even if Hermione did not, that Fawkes would probably heed the call and aid them.

Then there were the problems of multiple timelines, varying possibilities, and of course time travel to take into account. But Hermione eventually gave up understanding these things as they gave her one monster of a headache, and Luna was the only one who would discuss the possibilities with her at any length.

Moving down a spiral staircase she overhead muffled voices, and headed toward them to investigate.

"It's disgusting is what it is!" She overheard the distinctive voice of her oldest friend.

Protesting, the sounds of Tam emanated through the metal door. "It is not that bad really, I mean-"

She cut off as Hermione walked into the room and the two span with panicked looks of their faces, slamming a metal locker closed looking guilty.

"What's in the locker?" She asked, quite reasonably.

There was a trapped expression on Harry face, and a low audible sigh was let out from the redhead. "Pornography." Tam stated wearily "Sorry, it's just… you know?"

Harry just ran his hands through his hair and took up the explanation. "Yeah, it's Luna's stash. I mean, I'm into some weird stuff, but that girl is just something else." He confessed awkwardly.

Thinking back to an overheard conversation between the Luna and Tonks, and how they were discussing whether or not they should attempt to raise one of those tentacle monsters the young Auror was forever reading about, Hermione just nodded.

Deciding that she could visit with Harry another time, Hermione simply left her friends too it.

','

As soon as the door swung closed behind Hermione, Harry threw up as powerful a locking spell as he could, and then added a Dome of Silence for good measure. At the same instant Tam went with something called 'the Shroud of Athena' which did essentially the same thing only with powerful Dark Magic.

"That was close." Harry said.

"Yeah." Tam agreed "Thanks, by the way, she really wouldn't understand."

"No." He agreed. "What were you thinking though, I mean look at it!" Harry said, gesturing to the locker's contents.

"It reduces the drain on Caerbannog's reservoirs and wells by over forty percent."

Eyes bulging he exploded "Forty?"

"Yeah, I went a little overboard with the amount of magic added to the airship, and it was becoming dangerous. Hell, the Fire-Friend rune set on the hydrogen cells would start to degrade in less than a week of constant flight. I had to come up with something!"

Looking over the tubes running into and out of the thing, Harry asked "Where did you get it? Please don't tell me you-"

"Of course not!" She interrupted "There was a Dementor attack, and it was practically dead anyway. Right?"

"Kissed?" Tam nodded "I can see why you didn't tell Hermione."

"She has a really strong magical core for her age." Tam informed. "And it's getting stronger with use."

Running his finger along the nutrient tubes and down to the enchanted metal entering the solar plexus, Harry just sighed. "If Hermione ever finds out my airship is powered by a forsaken child, we will never hear the end of it."

"I know, I know" She paused looking over the young girl one last time "Her name was Stacy if you are interested."

','

Luna came into the Duelling Pit on the back of her ostrich-racehorse abomination and took in Harry getting his arse handed to him by the far superior redhead. What made him think he would stand a chance was anyone's guess, being as he was four months behind on practice, and even before that had been losing more often than winning against Tam.

Jumping down from what had not yet been named a _Chocobo_, Luna set about creating a temporary magical energy field called a Seal, which all practitioners of Wu Jen use in place of a wand as a focus for their casting.

A vertical line of 'Metal' element was slashed into the universe using her left hand, then bisected on the horizontal twice using 'Fire' and her right. Once the Seal was in place Luna set about unloading a rapid fire barrage of offensive magic through the Foci; flames, battering hammers of air, and sharpened knives of scarlet inferno.

The vast majority of her magic was accessed nonverbally, given how it was only in the last three hundred years ago or so, that Incantations had started being added to the ancient magical style. Hell, the vast majority of practitioners nowadays used a wand for most of their casting anyway, because of the speed increase and the superior ease of use.

Still, Tamsyn had never been confronted with magic of this type, and so she was turtling behind her shields, fearful of being caught by something dangerous. The let up on the redhead's offence gave Harry the opportunity to get back in the game, and it was but a handful of seconds later before the two of them had her trussed up and defenceless.

"Nice one Luna, that little scamp was starting to get a bit too big for her britches!" Harry commented.

Looking at Tam's body closely and noting how the ropes kept her back arched and dug into her clothing revealingly, Luna nodded "I think we should leave her up there for a while" then pinched her arse, to a Silenced glare of furious embarrassment.

Taking a lounging seat on the far side of the room the two got comfortable and idly watched Tam's frustrated attempts to escape. "Out of interest, how long did it take before she betrayed our side?"

"What does it matter? There is a good reason I don't really talk about the other timeline." At Harry's shaken head and eyebrow raise, Luna just huffed. "Honestly she's not that bad, she was just offered something she really, really wanted. And in her defence, she didn't defect at all until _after _Hermione died."

'Ah, so that's why Tam was so uptight and grumpy.' Harry mused, realisation dawning. "Come on then, what was she offered?"

There was a grunt of protest but the mid-twenties Luna eventually capitulated. "You know she has pretty crippling thanatophobia correct? I mean, pants pissing, night terrors, that kind of thing."

"It's really that bad? Man she hides it well."

"I think the Dark Lord is actually worse than she is, but Tam is still absolutely _terrified_ of dying." Luna confirmed "Once erm-, Voldemort. Huh, no Taboo… weird. Anyway, once Voldemort had basically taken over, he tracked down the Flamel's, murdered them, and stole the world's only Philosopher's Stone."

Harry frowned at this but didn't interrupt.

"And saying as he was already an Immortal so didn't need it, he offered Elixir of Life as a reward to all of those who carried the Dark Mark. Being a Death Eater had a bunch of other perks of course, they were virtually above the law, and were essentially allowed to kill or do whatever they pleased to any normal citizen without consequence. But it was the promise of health and long life which brought the Dark Lord so many eager followers."

Harry thought it over and decided that the plan really was quite brilliant. If Voldemort alone knew the location of the Philosopher's Stone, then he could ensure an even tighter loyalty. The threat of pain was one thing, but loss of immortality was something else entirely.

"What was the price Tam had to pay for the Elixir? Voldemort wouldn't have invited her back with open arms, so she was forced to do something."

"She killed Frost. It's funny, but the Vampires were quite lacklustre in their support of the Dark Lord up until that point."

Harry was surprised to hear that, and he spent a long moment considering his sole meeting with the man.

Interrupting his musings Luna asked "You suspected she would defect the whole time?"

"Huh?" Harry said snapping back to the present. "Oh, well she's the consummate Slytherin. If the war was virtually over there would be little reason for her to stay on our side." Watching a familiar head of chestnut hair enter and take in the scene, he reflected 'Unless…'

Glaring over at Harry and Luna, Hermione went over to the trussed girl and performed a number of diagnostic spells. Transfiguring a silver dagger she eased the redhead's form firmly together to give herself enough slack, and then sliced the ropes freeing her.

Face flushed with _"anger"_ Tam extracted herself from the tangle of limbs, and lead the brunette out of the Duelling Pit. Harry asked "You did that on purpose so they'd be forced to share some free touching didn't you?"

With an unaccustomedly innocent expression on her face, Luna replied. "I have no idea what you are suggesting Harry."

','

Harry was smashing his head up against a wall with this ridiculous turn of events.

He was being forced to sit his friggin' O.W.L.s even though he'd been dead three days ago!

And what was worse was that the examiner had posed a question which was based on a blatantly flawed assumption. It was only _impossible_ to know both the location and velocity of a problem's solution if one was measuring it Arithmentically from _inside_ the Universe! Measure from outside and you're fine.

How were these idiots qualified to measure his level of competence if they couldn't even pose questions which made sense?

Harry didn't know it but his Aura was flaring menacingly, and he was scaring the living crap out of the examination board, who had all kindly agreed to give up their weekend to test him. It really was his own fault of course, back at the beginning of the year he had forced the Wizengamot into caving to his demands. One of which was that he'd be emancipated, given Sovereignty over his Potter Family Ring, and accompanying governmental Seat, as soon as he and Tam had completed their O.W.L.s.

Which Tam had done while Harry was playing worm chow at Godric's Hollow, and now he was forced to sit through this crap before the two of them could cash in on the concessions which he'd already obtained.

He was sitting an O.W.L. in Defence Against the Dark Arts, Magical Theory, Runes, Transfiguration, Charms, Potions (just to fuck with Snape), and Care of Magical Creatures. That last Harry was actually incredibly gifted at, thanks to his innate ability to see their weak points, and natural capacity to understand what needed to be done to slay them. Most of his answers had been along the lines of _'__**refrain **__from doing do this, that, or the other, and you'll be fine.'_

He'd also sat an O.W.L. in Dark Arts even though Albus had specifically asked him not to. 'Screw him!' summed up Harry's response to that nicely.

Now he was on his last exam Arithmancy, and the borderline overdose of Pepper-Up and Invigoration Draught he been using to get through them all in one sitting was beginning to get to him. Hence the barely concealed desire to attempt Fiendfyre against the stupid, ignorant examiner who was foolish enough to ask him an objectionable question!

With four months less study time than he'd expected Harry could be described as being, maybe just a tad, _stressed_.

Maybe.

So long as you didn't say it to his face.

','

While Harry was sleeping off the Raw Carrot, Amortentia, and Scotch Hellfire Sauce medley he'd consumed following the testing binge, -read _'sleeping off'_ as; _'in a coma'_- and Bellatrix was spending quality time with her brother in law with Harry's consent, the rest of the crew were sitting around discussing what they were intending to do next.

Hermione had taken to tying her hair up in recent days, for some reason that she couldn't quite recall, but it made her look older and so she liked it. Regardless, she walked into the relaxed main room of the Caravel of Caerbannog and took the only remaining seat, which quite by happenstance was situated right next to Tamsyn.

Hermione had found herself enjoying the woman's company in the time spent together since Luna had gained ten years. The two of them equally frustrated with the blonde woman's attitude, forming a kind of bond of friendship which the bookish young woman had rarely found outside of Harry and their run in with a mountain troll. And outside of Luna and the shocking -cat out of the bag- realisation that she actually understood the nature of magic better than Hermione did, only had been at first hiding the fact behind the guise of spurious creatures.

"This coming Wednesday Lord Potter and Lady Riddle will be introduced to the Wizengamot and are scheduled to assume their hereditary Seats." Dumbledore said once they were all comfortable. "Perhaps we should discuss any political movements the Light side intends to make on the day."

"I'm still not certain I like the idea of Harry having political power." Hermione stated "It just seems _wrong_ on so many levels!"

That got a little chuckle. "We have the Black, Potter, and Riddle votes from the old family seats. My support as Chief Warlock gains us another, as does a further four of my light sided political allies. Together this totals eight out of fifty-one we can be of the most assured."

"For a core voting bloc that is quite impressive, however we now know that Amelia Bones is in fact Helga. Meaning that a fair amount of what we could normally call on is now suspect." Sirius commented.

"True," said Tam "however we know she is our enemy thanks to a time traveller of all things. And so long as we know, but she does not know that we know, then we know that we should be able to work with her. Probably. For the time being at least."

'If we know, that she doesn't know that we know?' Working through the overly complicated sentiment, Hermione was about to speak, but was interrupted by Luna. "In all honesty, Helga is a pain in the arse. I wouldn't be surprised if she had a contingency plan in place, in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse."

They were aware Luna wasn't joking, so this comment elicited a few groans.

Dumbledore took the time to mull this over, before going on "I suggest our primary purpose this coming Wednesday's meeting should be…"

They spent the remainder of that morning and most of the afternoon working out a strategy.

','

Things were beginning to wind down so Tam smiled over at Hermione and squeezed her hand briefly before looking over to the blonde "Luna, while I realise it is your policy not to answer any of our questions, I am interesting in whether or not you ultimately worked out the purpose of that Runic Array you were so obsessed with."

The woman grimaced, but she did answer "Yes I did, however you must not tell Harry, even if he asks."

"Why shouldn't we tell Harry?" Sirius asked "If he has a right to know, we shouldn't keep it from him. You know how much he hates people doing that."

The room nodded, Harry could become quite irritating to people who hide things from him. "Remember when he found out that the Troll being Brazilian Minister of Magic was just a hoax made up to help sell sunglasses?"

"Yeah." Padfoot confirmed confusedly.

"And Harry got really disappointed and started moping about for days, remember?" Luna pushed on.

"Okay, what's that got to do with your Array thing?"

She sighed "The problem is it won't work. If Harry finds out what it does he'll get really enthusiastic about it, and in the end will wind up completely disappointed and mopey."

"Riiight, now I have definitely got to know its purpose!" Tam stated, both hands flat on the table leaning over to her.

"Oh for heaven's sake. Fine!" Luna gave in "It was a six hundred and sixty six point Runic Cascade which would take the Blood Protection Guardian present in Harry's blood, and sacrifice it in favour of resurrecting Lily Potter." She breathed all at once. "The idea being that because Voldemort did not die when she sacrificed her life, Lily did not fully die ether, and was held in an ethereal Limbo state anchored to this side of the Veil by Harry's blood."

Eyes closed and refusing to be interrupted Luna continued "Essentially there were two competing rituals fighting one another; Voldemort's Horcrux ritual, and whatever Mrs. Potter did back in the eighties. What I came up with when I was fourteen was a way to untangle the two rituals, and _'get a refund'_ so to speak, on the price she paid."

There was a thunderous silence at these impossible words. "And that was possible?" Sirius asked astonished.

Sighing again Luna went on drearily "It required uniting the Hallows," she laughed bleakly "meaning I must have recognised them subconsciously when I was younger and not realised it. But yes, it was possible."

Seeing the animagus getting worked up at this idea Tam cut in "Yet you said it would not work."

"Fundamentally no it wouldn't. Harry doesn't have his own blood running through his veins, but that of Lucius Malfoy thanks to his recent time spent, y'know dead. We could have theoretically used Voldemort's, however Amelia Bones' blood is running through _his_ body rather than Harry's. And most damning of all, was the fact that the Blood Protection Guardian which my Runic Array relied upon, had died while Harry was incarcerated in Azkaban."

The news had an instantly sobering effect on everyone in the room. It was in a small way, like they had just lost a friend all over again.

Speaking from his position leaning casually against the doorway, Harry said "I think it is about time we have a conversation on the subject of your original plan Albus."

Everyone snapped their gaze toward the raven haired man in his faux relaxed posture.

"I was willing to let sleeping dogs lie, but now my mother's life is involved and I need to know."

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was one hundred and fifteen years old. He had been awarded an Order of Merlin, First Class for his defeat of the Dark Lord Gellert Grindelwald during the forties. He was the Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, as well as the Chief Warlock of the British Wizengamot. He was the Grand Sorcerer of the International Federation of Warlocks, and was rightly considered by many to be the wisest and most powerful man seen in many generations.

Yeah, thanks to Harry's comments...

...Albus looked like he was about to throw up.

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Lens of Sanity  
The Phoenix explanation was an amalgam from JBern's two stories, and if you've read my other Fic, you now know why Harry was giving Fawkes such a hard time ... Anyway, I go to tremendous lengths to make sure everything gets through canon, but Hot Sauce, Chocobos, and a Zeppelin? Pirate voice Voldemort? … If I claim this is NOT a crackfic would it be true?


	17. Stick to the Code

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter Seventeen: Stick to the Code

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Dumbledore had asked for a couple of days and Harry had said that was fine, it should give the Headmaster enough time to get his original notes together. Now he and Bellatrix were walking side by side into the polished white building of Gringotts Wizarding Bank, with Harry under a terribly cast glamour charm. It was the kind that even the most passive onceover would detect with ease.

"Thief, ye hav' bin war'ned" Harry muttered in an old timey pirate voice, reading the plaque aloud. If this worked, it was going to be awesome.

"Good evening filthy servant creature, I am the astoundingly inbred, erm, well bred, Lucius Malfoy. And I command you to lead me to my family Vault. _Avast!_" The Goblin looked at him incredulously, and under the aristocratic glamour Harry went on "Hop, you will move lickedy-split or will face my shaft, erm, cane, across you filthy behind!"

Predictably the Goblin waved over to a number of his kin, and after a whispered conversation several senior looking employees, escorted him and Bellatrix deep within the Bank. By this point the Goblins and everyone else knew of Lucius' disappearance, so they would be on guard in case of an Imperius Curse. And just as predictably the defence which would have shaken that very spell from Harry, had he been under its effects, was utilised against him during the cart trip.

The atrocious glamour flickered visibly, but Harry just smiled benignly at the creatures watching, and continued down into the cavernous bank.

Slashing his hand with the supplied dagger, Harry placed it on the large Vault door, and it opened. Thereby proving he was a Malfoy, and had full access rights to the high security chamber. The Gringotts Goblins had of course allowed him this far into their domain, in the hopes that the obvious thief would be killed horribly by the Vault's protections. And as such were clearly surprised that the man actually _had_ authorisation to be there.

They were surprised and more than a little disappointed. Goblins didn't get to watch foolish wandusers die on a regular basis unfortunately.

It took almost an hour to fill all the magically expanded sacks, but when the Vault was bare of all but a few haphazard piles of Knuts, the two climbed aboard the cart and returned to the surface. They exited the building, and with a whispered _"Caerbannog"_ to their wrists, Harry and Bellatrix activated their portkeys, landing safely in the ship's atrium.

"Can you fucking believe that worked?" Harry exploded after a moment.

Bellatrix just giggled.

','

Wearing one of those _'Support Harry Potter: Everyone Else Stinks!'_ badges from fourth year, Harry stepped into the Headmaster's Office. It was time to get through this.

Harry had known something weird had been going on for a while now, and had even been using it throughout the year. Dumbledore had always been acting kind of guiltily toward him, and it was _that_ reason the old man had essentially been letting him do whatever in the hell he felt like while at school.

Well, guilt and the fact that Harry was pretty much doing what Dumbledore wanted him to be doing anyway, for the most part. Those things being; stay in the Castle, become stronger, and don't kill Snape. Possibly in that order.

Luna's offhand comment about the Philosopher's Stone pissed him off though. Until she mentioned it he'd actually thought the thing had been at Hogwarts, and he had achieved something back in first year. When _now_ those little obstacles, kind of obviously, had been a setup.

"I understand you can now boast of performing the sole successful attempt at burglarising Gringotts Wizarding Bank." Albus said, not really chastising. Removing resources from a known enemy was standard practice in wars after all.

"Honestly, if people stopped thinking things were impossible, they'd come up with the same kinds of solutions as I do." Harry confirmed. Then he sat for an extended moment in silence. "You were banking on my death."

The bland, not even accusatory statement, landed squashily. Exactly like the big steaming pile of manure it truly was.

"Harry I-" He began.

"I've known for ages, its fine." Harry interrupted, waving it off. "I was, and am, a Horcrux. I had to die or he couldn't. I just want to know the original plan, there was some reason I had to go to the Dursley's, only I never asked because I didn't want to know your plan until now."

Dumbledore spent a long time enjoying the flavour of his favourite candy. Sometimes the twitch response ritual he had performed in his youth was a burden he could do without, but sometimes a dependence on sugar could provide one time to think. Or in this case, postpone the inevitable.

"Lily Potter was a member of the Order of the Phoenix as you well know." Dumbledore began "When the Death Eaters began targeting you specifically because of the Prophecy, Lily was the one who tracked down the Fidelius Charm which was intended to hide your family. You have heard that your mother was especially gifted at Charms I assume?"

"Yes." He didn't comment further.

"Lily cast the Charm and the Potters switched Secret Keepers at the last minute. With such disastrous results."

Harry nodded, that was Dumbledore's way of informing him that he truly _hadn't_ known Sirius was innocent. Something which he and Padfoot had never been one hundred percent on.

"She also did something else. I do not know what, but Ms. Lovegood concluded it had been a ritual, and I would hazard she is correct in that assumption." Dumbledore said, subconsciously stalling for time. "There are no two ways about it, whatever Lily had done was decidedly Dark. Researching human sacrifice rituals could not be viewed any other way."

"Magic is about intent." Harry put in. "There is no Light or Dark, at least not really."

When he nodded but did not go on, Harry huffed.

"Get on with it Albus."

"I weaponized it." He said, "I turned the sacrificial shield into a weapon. If you were to willingly give your life to protect another, the ritual effects your mother had employed with such success would be repeated. My intention was that several of your friends would _all_ receive the Guardian against Voldemort's magic, and they would in turn dispatch him."

"And to do this I was anchored to Privet Drive?" Harry asked.

"Correct; your blood, your aunt's blood, and your cousin's blood. All carried the altered form, and so long as you spent at least some time living together each year, the plan could go ahead. Once you turned seventeen the change would have been permanent, and you could be sent against Voldemort when he inevitably regained a body."

Dumbledore hung his head and Harry mulled over what he'd heard.

"That's brilliant!" he surprisingly shouted after a moment.

','

"What?" Dumbledore exploded in disbelief.

"Hell I'd have done the same thing if I'd thought of it." Harry admitted. "Dark Lords need killing, you know that better than most saying as you defeated one yourself. But the brilliant part of it is that there are still two people wandering around who have been touched by my mother's sacrifice. Meaning that Luna's Array still has an honest shot at working."

"What?" Dumbledore couldn't believe his ears. He'd never been at such a loss for words in almost a hundred years, maybe ever. When his mind reengaged, Albus pointed out a flaw in Harry's reasoning "Unfortunately the Blood Protection around Privet Drive fell while you were in Azkaban."

"Those badass Wards fell yes." The teenager agreed. "However the kinds of archaic magic involved leave a deeper imprint than that, it's worth a shot!"

"Harry yo-" The old man began.

The young boy ordered "Grab your notes, let's get to the Room of Requirement and dig into this thing."

Shouting after his retreating back the Headmaster cautioned "Harry it is not going to work!"

','

"Harry it's not going to work!" Luna screeched in exasperation, before unknowingly voicing Tam's thoughts from the day of Harry's rebirth "You cannot heal death pure and simple."

"Of course it is." He mulishly attested "Think of the Trials we've gone through. How could it possibly _not_ work?"

This gave the blonde pause, and even Dumbledore halted what he was doing, in light of the statement.

"What do you mean Trials?" Hermione asked in confusion.

"Fine Harry, let me look over Albus' notes. I'll have a look to see if it's even _theoretically_ possible." At his wide smile Luna scowled "Do not get your hopes up. I still don't think it's going to work."

"What are you talking about?" Hermione demanded.

"Thanks Luna you're the best!"

"Hello?" Hermione said "Can anyone hear me?" Shaking Tam, the redhead looked _through_ her "Am I invisible or something?"

Harry finally looked over at the bushy haired Griffindor "Sorry about that Hermione. What's the problem?"

"Trials? What are you talking about, the word sounded capitalised." She asked.

Harry blinked a few times before sharing a look with Tam. "You have never even heard of the concept before?" the redhead half asked, half stated in surprise.

"Seriously?" Harry repeated the sentiment. Hermione got that, _'I'm going to start hexing people' _look on her face so he tried to explain "Erm-, I'm not sure I am the best at describing it…" noticing her eyes narrow Harry continued "…but I'll try." Seeing him standing dumbly for a long while, Tam just pushed him out of the way.

"Say you want to learn, I don't know, Animagus Transformation or something…" Hermione nodded "…and you went to the library, found a book straight away, and began practicing steadily in order to turn into an animal." Tam said. "Well it would work, and one way or another you would eventually succeed. However let us say that there wasn't a book in the Library, and there wasn't someone like Professor McGonagall around who could teach you.

Instead you learn that the only book which will teach you what you want to know is in the Magical section at the Library of Congress in the United States. And you have to sell a prised possession in order to afford the portkey. Even worse, once you got there, and found the book you were searching for, you were forced to fight someone else who was looking for exactly the same book you were."

Hermione frowned. "Well the second way sounds like a lot of extra trouble for no real benefit."

"**No!**" Harry and Tam both wailed.

The redhead continued "There is all the difference in the world! The second way you have gone through many challenges and setbacks, proving that the magic you are seeking is of some high value to you. Those challenges are known as Trials. In the second scenario you would become an Animage in no time at all, the magic would sing and leap from your fingertips. You would command an understanding of the process to such an _extent_ that it would barely even be the same thing as in the first scenario."

"In fact," Harry added his opinion "Animagus Transformation is a very good example. Take me for instance. Did I learn from a wise old master? Did I learn in order to help one of my friends with his monthly medical condition? Did I go through the mediation exercises, or partial transfiguration?

No! I cheated, using my worthless gold to purchase a Ritual of Release. Merlin save me, I didn't even bother to brew the Potions myself, I got someone else to do it." Harry paused "I bet you anything I'd have been a Panther if I'd done it properly!" Harry concluded, for the first time annoyed that he'd taken the shortcuts.

Hermione mulled it over in silence for a long time, with the other two just watching for her reaction. "This is a real thing?" they both nodded "I thought you liked your animagus form."

Harry laughed "The bunny is just a bunny. It's me that makes it Vorpal."

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"Gods it's everywhere now that you've pointed it out!" Hermione declared "I mean, you cannot do solid shields despite them being incredibly simple, albeit power intensive." Harry scowled at her but she barely noticed. "Yet you have such control of your wandless abilities that I have seen you transfigure six Cornish Pixies from peanuts, ten times in a row perfectly, and have them all spring into being already under Compulsion."

Harry's scowl faded at her recognition of his awesomeness.

"And that is because Sirius was trying to teach you transhields for reasons you did not fully appreciate. Whereas your wandless ability came from time spent in Azkaban Prison, and necessity. Furthermore your _first_ wandless animal transfiguration was used to save the life of the woman you love from a dire fate."

"Gah!" Harry exploded "What have I said about people saying that? It isn't true no matter how many times you say it."

Ignoring the comment Hermione continued on her train of thought. "You! That's why you did it." She span, pointing at her messy haired friend. "This is the same reason you made the magical community build you an airship."

"I don't know…" Luna said coming over "…I find it hard to believe Harry had such altruistic motivations on that score."

Seeing as how Luna had apparently finished going over the preliminary notes, Harry asked "Was I right?"

"No," she said "no you bloody weren't okay, shut the hell up."

"Ah so you are saying I _was_ correct," Harry concluded "and you were being a narrow minded fool just like everyone else."

"Shut up Harry."

"Come on, what's the damage?" he asked in high spirits.

"It's fucking impossible, give it up." Luna stated, and because Harry just looked at her without blinking until she said it, answered "0.002 percent probability okay, happy now? It will not work!"

Closing his idiosyncratic green eyes he began to pace, then snapped attention to his time travelling companion "It wasn't 0.00214 percent by any chance?"

"Er-, yeah. Why?" she asked.

"Because that is one sixth to the power of six"

The blonde blinked a few times and went through the calculation in her head "Bloody fucking hell, it's going to work isn't it!"

','

A huge shadow was cast, obscuring the afternoon sunlight on a quiet suburban street in Surry. A place which once was the home of the single most awesome individual ever born to a man or woman, or at least that was how Harry liked to think of it. The shadow was being cast by his home, a mighty and imposing sky fortress. A fortress which was known the world over as the Caravel of Caerbannog, thanks to Harry's high profile name and reputation.

Each of the houses on this street, monotonously named Privet Drive, were absolutely identical. The roofs were the exact same shade of red, each of the gardens were precisely as well maintained as one another, and the houses all had an identical disinfected look of lifelessness that screamed _'lower middle class hellhole.'_

That was of course, with one sole exception; Number Four.

Harry now knew _why_ pretty innocent Bella had been acting so nervous all day.

"Well?" He asked pointedly, to his beautiful purple eyed companion.

"Maybe it was a _'lektikal_ thing?" She supplied "You know how these Muggles are with their dangerous technology and things."

Harry looked over the Fiendfyre scorch marks. "Now don't get me wrong Bella dear, electricity can be very dangerous, I will readily admit that fact. However it does _not_ leave damage as extensive and irreparable as what we are looking at this afternoon."

"Come on!" She whined "They were so horrible to you. You cannot expect me to just let that slide can you?"

"When did you do it?" Harry asked.

Flopping onto the blackened grass which once framed the precious roses he had invested so many hours in, Bella replied "About four hours after I was broken out of Azkaban."

"So my mother truly is dead." Harry sighed.

Lifting his wrist portkey and obviously about to leave, Bellatrix interrupted "I only got the walrus animagus and his spawn." Seeing Harry drop his arm, she continued "The horsy housewife you told me about was not home."

"There is an incredibly good reason being around you always makes me smile Bella dear. A very good reason indeed."

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"So let me get this straight…" Hermione stated a little over a week later "…you actually believe this is a positive turn of events, due to the fact that it will make our lives _harder_?"

"You appear to be new to this concept Ms. Granger," Dumbledore added, stroking his mighty white beard "however those of us raised around magic take it as a matter of course."

"This is totally crazy!" she insisted "Luna, you're on my side right? An incredible number of people died doing this in the original timeline."

The blonde with the perfectly chiseled ass kind of looked uncertain. "The thing is Hermione, you are relying on crappy information. Yes, the Holy Forest Massacre happened because a small force infiltration got caught out by the Jabberwock. But _this_ small force infiltration _knows_ about the Jabberwock, and is attacking exactly the same fortification as the other force, using exactly the same members … for _completely_ different reasons."

"But they are still going to die! It's obvious." The Muggleborn attested.

Tam took her hands and gazed deeply into her, brown eyes meeting brown eyes "The intent and circumstances are different." She said "Remember Trials, this is the same thing. Intent is important, and we need to capture/rescue Petunia Dursley née Evans who happens to be behind those same protections."

"I can't believe this is happening just the same way as Luna said it happened before, and none of you _care_!" she screamed "Fine, Mrs. Dursley was captured and her blood used to prevent Harry from having any advantage over Voldemort, but _come on_! It's _still_ a trap, and we are _still_ all going to die!"

They did not reply to her accusations.

"Hermione," Harry said "the odds that I will successfully resurrect my mother are a sixth to the power of six! The more challenges we face moving toward that end, the better. You do not need to aid us, perhaps this is the event which Fawkes has witnessed, and it will be the reason for your bonding of a Phoenix."

"I don't want all my friends to die!" she screamed "We can come up with a better plan."

"…" everyone in listening distance commented.

"Hermione?"

"Yes Harry. I am listening."

"I'm a Vorpal Bunny. I've always been destined to slay a Jabberwock. Do not worry, I've got this."

She gave him a hug, and everything that she loved about her friend was poured into it. It was a new experience for Harry, and Hermione was quite drained by the overt showing of emotion. Harry would win, she knew it, it would happen. Fuck logic, fuck the universe, Hermione Granger was _swearing_, and she would settle for nothing less than Harry winning the day!

'Bring it on universe, Hermione Granger was out for blood.'

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Five days **before** Harry Potter's first affectionate hug, an event that -by the way- stayed with him for the rest of his days, and contributed toward his eventual dedication to the cause. Well it found them discussing the topic of Lily Potter's mostly impossible rebirth.

And they were doing so without the help of Hermione because _she_ was in a huff with Bellatrix unrepentant treatment of the Dursleys. Or perhaps it was because she had been informed Lucius Malfoy was _'sleeping with Stacy,'_ presumably an unusual euphemism for _'they killed him'_ which Hermione did not appreciate.

"So in conclusion; you have defeated a Troll, fought through a spurious maze, and dispatched a Dark Lord at eleven. Slain a Basilisk at twelve. Spent a year messing with an army of Dementors at thirteen. Killed a Dragon, fought off possession, and defeated a Sphinx at fourteen. Become Captain on an airship, made peace with the Vampires, and survived your own death at fifteen. And now are intending to slay an unstoppable monster, in order to rescue a _"princess,"_ which may allow you to resurrect your deceased mother at sixteen?"

"That sounds about right, for a brutally stripped down version of events anyway." The sexy sole survivor of a Killing Curse replied.

"Bloody hell Harry, even Merlin didn't have a rap sheet like that on his death bed! And he even had the _time travel_ on there for goodness sake!"

"What can I say Tam, my awesomeness knows no bounds." Harry replied modestly. "So what do we know about Vorpal weapons?"

"I have discovered something fascinating on further researching the creature," Albus informed "the last person to slay a Jabberwock was in fact…"

"…my paternal Grandmother." Luna finished.

"…Alice Lovegood." Albus said at the same instant.

Harry, Sirius, Tam, and Bellatrix all looked over at the blonde woman. "You know about Vorpal weaponry Luna? Like, more than just having come across it in the future?" Harry asked.

"Oh yes, Gramma Alice went so far as to show me her sword once. I'd have loved to learn how to do it, but she said I was too young when I asked."

"Explain."

"I'm guessing you have read Lewis Carroll's book Harry?" She asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Of course, but that is just Muggle fiction."

"No, it isn't." Luna insisted "Lewis Carroll was a Muggleborn Arithmancer named Charles Dodgson, and _he_ was a friend of _my_ Grandmother. He named the main character after her once she told him the true story of her killing a Jabberwock."

"So you're saying that it is based on a true story?" Tam asked in amazement.

"What? No! Hardly at all, he simply named the main character Alice after his friend. Who happened to be my Grandmother."

"So do you know how to create a Vorpal weapon Luna?" Harry asked after a time.

"Unfortunately not," she admitted "nevertheless I _can_ forge Valyrian Steel which is similar, if only around half as effective. Although we might not want to do that because the Goblin Treaties cover any transmuting of metals in such a way, and if they find out that we are creating it we will be in the same position as people they discover counterfeiting gold."

Seeing Harry was about to ask Tam interrupted "They send an army after you. The Goblins are at a constant state of war with counterfeiters, if this is covered by the same laws we will need to think twice and again before going through with it."

"Okay." Harry said, although going to war with the Goblin Nation was _not_ rejected out of hand by the teenager. "What is the difference between Valyrian Steel and a Vorpal Sword Luna?"

"Valyrian Steel is basically just enchanted high-purity iron, with a complex rune cluster carved into it. It's funny but Goblins cannot in fact forge it themselves, and yet they'll kill anyone they find who is doing so." The blonde informed "Anyway, the Steel is enchanted and carved, whereas _Drawing_ a Vorpal Sword is wanded. The process I saw Gramma Alice go through actually transformed her wand into the hilt of an ethereal blade."

"And the creation is covered by the Interdict of Merlin." Albus shared with the group "I do not know how to make one, nor do I know anyone who does."

"Daddy might." Luna said "He's still alive right?"

','

It was still a few days **prior** to the famous, and totally embarrassing, hug from Hermione. The three who Xenophilius Lovegood had consented to teaching, were once again in the Come and Go Room. Which appeared as a murky looking indoor forest scene for Harry's amusement.

His Holly wand had vanished completely in a swirl of billowing wind and magic, and in its place hanging on its own a foot in front of him, was a firm two handed purple grip. Sturdily attached to this grip was an enormous cross guard as wide as his hips, out of which had sprang a blade of equal thickness.

"Don't worry yourself Albus, it's not the size of the sword but how you use it that counts!" Harry commented cheekily, gesturing with the weapon at the Headmaster's Greatsword.

It's probably worth mentioning that Harry's Vorpal Sword was, -from absent pommel to single edged point- _exactly_ as long as he was _tall_. The thing would have been unliftable, and ridiculously unwieldy had it been made from steel.

"That is the largest weapon I have ever seen!" Luna commented in amazement, and Harry gave a perverted little smile. "Oh shut up. You know what I mean."

"Conjure me a Baby Panda, I want to try it out." He commanded to the blonde.

Her father had told her that because Wu Jen had left her so out of practice with a wand, he would not teach her the magic, and that he might not have anyway because it was so dangerous. Luna had been a little disappointed, but was happy enough to see him alive again that she got over it pretty swiftly.

Xeno having simply taken the news of time travel in stride, and informed her that she looked the splitting double of her mother Selene.

Swinging his mighty Vorpal Sword with an eerie _"Swish"_ it connected with Tam's, _before_ bisecting the Panda. She had a weapon that seemed halfway between serpentine blade and rapier, but stopping him from murdering Baby Panders was unforgivable!

"Bring it!" Harry challenged, locking eyes with the redhead.

What followed was a lot of childish horseplay, with Harry's impressive weapon dominating all-comers, and him loudly proclaiming his invincibility. It would have been over far sooner had Luna, Sirius and Bellatrix not been firing off cheap shots intermittently, and sending animals at the two, imbued with malevolent sentience.

When they eventually wound down Albus commented "It is good to see you in such high spirits Harry."

"Well, life is good. Nobody is trying to kill me anymore than usual, and we have an honest shot at curing my mother's death. What's not to like?" Seeing the man looking uncertain he took a guess "Is this about the whole 'trying to get me killed' thing?"

"I had assumed it would change your perception of me, and am at a loss as to why that has not transpired." He admitted.

"Oh," said Harry "well killing Dark Lords is a bitch. Sending one kid off as a sacrificial goat is fair do's if it means the world does not have to enjoy Voldemort's company anymore. I mean, you had to kill your old friend to end World War Two didn't you? That must have sucked."

Albus didn't respond, but Luna did "It is a little known fact that Grindelwald is in actuality still alive."

"Is that true?" Harry asked uncomfortably.

"Oh yes," she went on "incarcerated in the prison he built during the forties to house his political and social opponents."

**Horrifying** implications tumbled at lightning speed through the teenagers mind. He turned to the Headmaster and quite reasonable asked "So you are saying that the Dark Lord your chocolate frog card says was _'defeated,'_ and everyone believes this to be a euphemism for _'killed,'_ is still alive? That in the end you couldn't bring yourself to stop him because he was once a friend."

"Ending life is not something I take lightly Harry. A close companion of my youth least of all something I could easily stomach."

"No no, you misunderstand me." Harry interrupted. "I am saying that your initial plan to kill Voldemort involved me dying because my Horcrux connection tethered him to life. You are saying that _somewhere_ there exists a building secure enough to house him, and that I never even for an instant needed to die at all! _He_ could have gone in the cell next to Grindelwald, and _I_ could have died of old age?"

"Wha-" Albus said, suddenly at a loss for words.

"You hypocritical bastard!" Harry exploded, "That's it, I'm kicking your arse!" Looking around "Tam, you got my back? You're always going on about how brother wands working together can take any foe. Let's see how they stack up against the Elder wand."

"Harry, surely after what you hav-" The old man started nervously.

"Bella, we're playing with Dumbledore. Luna…" pissed off green eyes continued on ignoring him.

"Harry it is indisputable that you-"

"Sorry Albus old chum I'm sticking to The Code on this one. Rule Four; Never be afraid to have your side the first to resort to violence."

','

Lens of Sanity  
Dumbledore is always described as being a fast draw. Twitch response ritual? Sugar dependency? That's gotta be original!  
**Trials** however, are something I've read dozens of times, most recently in _'Potter's Wheel'_ by esama. Hands up who knew Charles Dodgson was a mathematician. And Harry's sword looks suspiciously similar to that of another messy-haired leader of a ragtag band of misfits, eyebrow raise.  
While we're on that, I have one thing to say about _this_ Harry's friends; _"what a crew!"_


	18. A Jabberwock in Seven Nineteen

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Valyrian Steel is George R.R. Martin, Jabberwocks Lewis Carroll, and _nonjon_ the initial idea to have Riddle Diary a playable character

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter Eighteen: A Jabberwock in Seven Nineteen

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With messy blood matted hair and a severe limp, Albus Dumbledore eased his way into his brother's bar. Although the two had been estranged for much of the early part of their lives, they had eventually mended their relationship for the most part, and Albus just knew what was coming.

Carefully seating himself on the barstool he concluded that he _had_ in fact suffered a fracture to his pelvis, and sighed knowing that none of his injuries would heal until Ms. Riddle released her curse. He had been fortunate enough when Severus come to his aid so swiftly, however that had brought about the quite hairy moment when the Potion Master's trademark Dark Slicing Curse had been reflected back at Albus by some form of altered duellist's shield.

After a short wait Abe came in from a back room, took a long look at his brother's ragged state of appearance, then promptly burst out in loud guffawing peals of laughter.

"If you are quite done, I would not mind a large volume of alcohol." The bearded man stated dismally. He was quite certain the phrase _'die the hero, or live long enough to become the villain'_ was going to crop up next time he was around a Dementor.

'At least I am still Master of the Elder Wand.'

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"Are you sure you picked up all of my fingers Bella?" Harry asked clumsily making his way down a flight of stairs on crutches. "No, don't put my leg on the windowsill, what if it falls out or something."

"I could just levitate you?" Sirius offered. He had quite the brutally blackened eye, but was by far the least injured.

"Hell no!" he spat "I'm getting to Poppy under my own power if it kills me."

Tam glared at him, and would undoubtedly have made some scathing comment, had her teeth not all been shattered. Although she was happy to learn her brother wand theory actually had some merit, neither side had really won but neither had really lost either.

Walking, hopping, and hobbling around a corner in various states of injury, the battered little group came face to face with Hermione Granger. A woman who none of them had exchanged any words with at all for days, due to the fact that she was not talking to them over the whole cold bloodedly murdering people incidents.

"What the hell happened?" she screamed at them.

Swaying a little dizzily, Luna responded "We had a small disagreement with Dumbledore. It ended up with us working out some of our frustrations on him."

"Come on Hermione, give me a hand down to the Hospital." the one legged boy directed.

"What were you disagreeing with him about?" She asked taking him under the arm.

"Doesn't matter," Harry declared, sweeping an imperious glare over everyone "as far as I am concerned it's in the past. Understand?"

The group nodded at the order of silence, not telling Hermione things was important, and they all knew the score. Walking through the door to his favourite Wing of the Castle, Harry smiled a terrible blood splattered smile at the nurse.

Poppy didn't even bother to ask.

','

A few days later everyone was healed and back in fighting shape. It was decided that what had happened in the Room would stay in the Room, and nobody would ever mention it ever again, and they would all pretend that it had never happened.

They had clued in Hermione as to the location of Petunia Dursley, which of course just happened to be in the Necropolis. Which was the most secure building in the City of the Dead, and that meant that they would have to infiltrate the Dark Lord's main base. Unfortunately this necessitated fighting and killing the Jabberwock.

Hermione had not liked the plan, and once she had finally decided to help, had given Harry a hug. He'd _nearly_ said, y'know …**things**. _That's_ how touched he'd been!

Now they were sitting about in the main room of Caerbannog working through their monster slaying strategy. The Headmaster had already turned down Harry's anonymous appeal to the Board of Governors for improved Zeppelin access to the School, stating the glaring lack of other students bringing their own Zeppelins with them when they embarked on their education, as worrisome in the extreme.

But the Headmaster and the Board had publicly informed the _'anonymous'_ Zeppelin advocate, that only one student in the School currently owned a Zeppelin. To which Harry had replied that, the fact was only due to the horrendously bad Zeppelin access the Castle currently employed.

He'd still been turned down though.

The Wizengamot had done the same thing on his first, and hopefully last, meeting. Seriously, he'd been forced to sit through three hours of Broomstick legislation recommendations, and was in no hurry to ever do that again.

"So what do we know about Jabberwocks, other than that Vorpal Swords work well against them?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Tam agreed "there are bound to be some glaring weaknesses we can exploit."

"What makes you think that?" Sirius asked.

"Well it is a Dark Creature," she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world "when you breed, say a Basilisk, you are creating an intelligent, magically resistant serpent, with nigh unhealable venom, which can kill with its stare. On the down side, the day's first crowing of a rooster will kill it dead to the ground. All Dark Creatures have weaknesses like that, it is a kind of balance."

"She's correct of course." Luna agreed "However that doesn't help us very much."

"It doesn't?" The redhead asked in confusion.

"No, because Jabberwocks are not actually Dark Creatures at all." The blonde informed tiredly "They are Guardians spawned by a magical forest. They act as a protector, which technically means they are Light Creatures. Our problem is that Voldemort has ensured _what_ the Jabberwock is protecting the Holy Forest _from_, is people intending to go against the Dark Lord's will."

"So," began Hermione "you're saying that if a person is working with Voldemort, then they have nothing to fear passing through the Holy Forest at all. Why is it called the Holy Forest by the way?"

Luna laughed "Because the City of the Dead is/was a place of pilgrimage, and you have to carry a Dark Mark to even get inside. There is a good reason why the only person I know who has even set foot in the City is _Se-_, Snape."

Sirius was about to make a comment, not quite asking, whether or not she knew what happened to Remus Lupin, but Harry interrupted "Back to glaring weaknesses everybody!"

"They do not have any, save the inability to leave their Forest." Albus informed "Even should we slay the beast, it will be respawned by the Forest's magic eventually."

"What if we shoot it in the face from long distance using ninety millimetres of Valyrian Steel?" Harry asked.

"They don't have brains." Luna said "They _do_ have a nerve cluster which means removing the head will kill it, but as they don't have brains, shooting it in the face is something which it would heal from."

"Great. More good news!" He stated despondently. "Just tell me everything you know, I'll think of something."

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This was by a wide margin, the _worst_ plan Harry had ever come up with. Such a staggeringly huge number of things could go wrong, and if any _one _thing went wrong, they would all get eaten by the Jabberwock.

Of course he was going through with it anyway.

For the most part Harry was into plans which were a variant of; _'…and then we kill whatever is in our way in a laughably straightforward manner.' _However their simply weren't any laughably straightforward methods to kill the monster, that had been repeatedly and successfully pounded into his head over the last few days.

Here's one fun fact, they are all but immune to direct magic. Luna's little right cross seen in the Pensieve was one of the most powerful spells she knew, it required a Double Seal one of which was a five point elemental, constructed using all five fingers on one hand simultaneously, and it necessitated direct physical contact to cast.

It did no damage bar a slight dazing, and was used to physically move the Jabberwock into position for the ninety seconds of forest binding she'd manage to set up.

Harry had been more sanguine with regards to the dreadful plan back when he thought he was invincible. Unfortunately Luna had informed him that she could only resurrect him should his forehead survive. That if his head were to explode, and perhaps even if he were hit with a Killing Curse, then he would be just as dead as anybody else. So he could take a _let them eat cake,_ guillotine special, and still be revived, but was not unkillable.

Should the Jabberwock win, it was doubtful that enough would be left to resurrect. Hence the lowered level of belligerent overconfidence.

Hearing a kind of 'galumphing' noise in the distance, Harry knew it was almost time. Another fun fact about Jabberwocks, they had one bitchingly effective first line of defence; a kind of muttered, burbling sound which they were constantly releasing. A sound which was piercing in a way which could penetrate silencing spells and earplugs, and caused a sort of confounding, wide spectrum confusion ward. The upshot rendered targeting difficult, and could even go so far as to make the person affected by it, attack friends and allies.

Harry twitched his nose intimidatingly and laid back his menacing floppy ears. He went with that red eye gazing thing he'd learned from Voldemort.

Here's one fun fact about Luna Lovegood; apparently she can play the guitar.

At her opening note Harry took off like the hounds of hell were fleeing from him.

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"Okay, so that takes care of the seventh problem," Harry said wearily five days previously "what's next on the never ending problems list?"

"Burbling." Came Albus' response. They'd been at this all day and had decided to break out the alcohol to make the process more bearable. Holding the stem of a tall wineglass and sipping an expensive red wine, Harry concluded that Fleur really did have good taste. He would have to tell her that at some point. "That is the effect which-"

"I remember what it does," He said tiredly "a multi-octave soul rending ward."

"Perhaps we could record some white noise and blanket the area when the creature attacks." The old man said finishing off his glass.

Luna seemed to be frowning, but she didn't comment, so the leader of this ridiculous -and blatantly impossible- quest continued "Is the monster not supposed to alter the Burble's speed and frequency in an intelligent way though, it can anticipate nonliving sounds using a narrowband form of Precognition right? Thus preventing something recorded previously from being successful."

"Unfortunately you are correct Harry." Dumbledore admitted, pouring himself yet another glass. They were going to have to stop soon, because more than just Harry's world was swimming in an alcohol induced haze.

Eyes crossed and bleary expression on her face, Luna asked "How fast would the amplitude changes be needed? Like if we were thinking of this as if it were a piece of music, and we were assuming the varied sounds as being notes?"

Sharing an uncertain look with the Headmaster, the two looked over at the clearly inebriated blonde. Albus scribbled a few hasty calculations before replying "If this were a piece of music, at times it would require in excess of fourteen notes per second…"

He continued but Luna stood and declared "Fetch me a guitar!" on unsteady legs.

"…only I do not know of any composition which would meet the requirements." Albus finished.

From her faceplanted position on the floor, Luna stated "You have seven minutes nineteen seconds to defeat the Jabberwock, and I'm going to need to record a backing track" before curling up where she lay and falling drunkenly asleep.

Harry conjured a blanket and carefully wrapped it around his friend. "So what's the ninth problem?" He asked after a time.

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'Through the Fire and Flames' had at some point in the _-probably __**far **__distant-_ future, been written by two guys named Herman Li and Sam Totman.

It had many notes.

Many.

No really, it had MANY notes. And Luna seemed to be able to hit, every, single, one-of-them.

Seriously.

Harry was bounding toward his opponent at an incredible speed, but he had to admit that what he was listening too _had_ to be impossible. Luna was Time-Turned, and had a similarly Time-Turned yellow ostrich-racehorse creature acting as her steed. As it happened a Jabberwock found noises which drowned out their Burbling defence quite disagreeable, and so the two blondes' and their Ibanez S670's were quite objectionable to the creature. Hence the fast footed _Chocobo,_ or whatever she was calling it, acting as her legs.

On lead guitar Past Luna was accompanying Present Luna, -who was _also_ on lead guitar apparently- for the promised seven minutes nineteen seconds she said they had to defeat the Jabberwock.

Hundreds of flying magical Amplifiers had been animated and imbued with Protean behaviour, which would keep them close enough to the battle zone, and go a ways in preventing them from being destroyed by the enraged behemoth. Fire-Friend rune sets were a given, and all the people present on this fool's errand had similarly been made to drink a Master's Brew of the Fire-Friend Potion.

It should help a little defending against those damned eyes of flame.

Harry managed a vaulting dodge off a one year old -yet somehow ancient- oak tree, as he saw a flash and imagined a distant crack float across the clearing. It was one of those awesome 'camera follows the bullet' moments, as Tam unloaded a Valyrian round from her Lee-Enfield bolt-action, magazine-fed, repeating rifle. A weapon she surprisingly already knew how to operate thanks to a naturally curious temperament, and a squaddy she remembered talking to back in the Second World War.

The .303 rune enhanced bullet span from the barrel, leapt across the gulf between the redhead and the Jabberwock, and lanced straight through the reptile's flaring right eye. As the creature dropped to the ground, Sirius revved his motorbike and the two shot off through the air and tried to get into a better position.

Having used the distraction to get close, Harry did a rapid transformation, took Vorpal Sword in hand, and with an almighty _'Swish'_ scored a single deep slash down the Jabberwock's flank.

Bounding away on powerful white legs Harry managed a brief thought:

'Well that was once.'

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"What do you mean you are going to fight it in your animagus form?" Luna and Hermione yelled with identically outraged expressions. It was the day following Luna's declaration of having the Burbling problem dealt with.

Noting that those _particular_ two were agreeing something was impossible brought a smile to Harry's face. "Vorpal Bunny remember?"

"YOU'RE JUST A NORMAL RABBIT!" Luna shouted at his ridiculousness "It's only you that adds the word Vorpal to it."

"We should do another Polyjuice tour of Hogwarts, you're acting all stressed and crazy." Harry commented. "I know you almost died last time, but we'll be careful."

"_I'm_ acting crazy?" She asked incredulously.

"Yes," he confirmed infuriatingly "you didn't even stop to think why it might be a good idea. And that is plainly _not_ like you at all." After a speculative frown he finished "Seriously though, Polyjuice tour? It might help."

Instead of continuing to shout, Luna and Hermione went off and had a muted discussion while Harry went back to stroking Bella behind her feline ears. He should probably ask why she still spent so much of her time in animal form, but if it made her happy then why not.

"Protean behaviour?" Hermione questioningly concluded, while thinking 'damn Harry and his stupid ideas!' That was another thing she agreed with Luna on; did Harry have a plan which made a twisted kind of sense, or was he making it all up at random and getting lucky?

"Correct." The raven haired man confirmed "The ability to leap, jump, outrun, and change direction. And do so at random, without a moment's notice or hesitation. My animagus form rocks!"

"If you get hit even once you'll die." Luna flatly stated.

"I'm not going to come close to getting hit though am I?" He challenged "_I'm_ Vorpal unlike you lesser mammals."

At that Luna decided to kidnap Fleur Delacour. With her around maybe Luna would have enough free time to get her head back in the game. She didn't like being the second most chaotic person in the room.

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Harry was getting into it, it was fine. Okay, he had maybe been backhanded into a tree and had lost consciousness briefly, but Dumbledore had used that to lop off one of the damn thing's claws with his massive Claymore. And okay, maybe doing _that_ had knocked one of the Luna's from her Chocobo's back for a time, however in her defence she _still_ hadn't missed a note.

And well, the loss of one of its limbs hadn't really been a setback for their opponent, as a replacement claw had instantly sprang from the stump in a gooey mass of white … _something_ … which seemed to have crafted a new arm from nowhere. They hadn't known it could do that, and Harry was naming the process hyper-healing for the time being.

Transform, _'Swish,'_ blood splatter, flee.

That was his world. At least the wounds inflicted by Vorpal Sword and Valyrian Rounds seemed to be difficult to heal. Crafting a new limb had dazed the thing for a moment, shame Harry had been down at the time and couldn't capitalise on that.

Transform, _'Swish,'_ blood splatter, flee.

Where the bloody hell were those reinforcements from Gaul?

As if the thought had summoned her, the perfect goddess that was Fleur Delacour came padding in on the back of a gigantic Cerberus, man but that woman was hot! Barrelling into a sideways roll to barely avoid the insanely sharp, insanely fast moving talons, Harry would have been skewered in an instant more. Had it not been for the regular unheard clattering sounds, which were emanating from the platinum woman coming to his rescue.

Have you ever heard of a M2 Browning .50 Calibre Machine Gun?

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you mounted one on the back of an enraged three headed dog, armed it with Valyrian Rounds, and then put a pissed off Veela behind it?

There was a reason Harry liked the woman after all.

And surprisingly enough it wasn't because of her more obvious charms.

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"You cried at my funeral!" Harry taunted.

"Merlin I hate you so much!" Fleur declared.

"You cried, I've seen the Pensieve memory." He said in a sing-songy voice "You like me, nar, nar. Don't bother denying it. We all know now!"

"The only reason I am here at all is because your idiotic blonde friend kidnapped my sister Gabrielle, and sent a ransom note saying she would not be returned until either I come to Hogwarts, or my father puts a hundred thousand galleons into a suitcase and meets her at Charles de Gaulle Airport." Fleur protested.

Thinking it over for a while Harry responded "So you're implying that your sister's life is not worth a hundred thousand galleons then?"

"Gah!" the platinum blonde exploded.

"Honestly, I could use the money." Luna informed.

"Coming to England to compete in 'ze Tournament was the single worst decision I 'ave ever made." The French woman voiced her dismay. "What do you want? I am certain it is not 'ze ransom, so out with it."

"We're fighting a Jabberwock and are probably all going to die horribly in the attempt." Luna clued her in "I was wondering if you wanted to help."

"We've had as many runescrives as we could find set up the base iron, but because it's so illegal to forge Valyrian Steel, we have to do the last four stages ourselves. As well as craft the stuff into bullets." Harry said, already onto the next thing. "It's taking ages, and we could use an extra pair of hands."

Wondering whether it was worth attempting to go back to the whole 'kidnapped sister' thing, Fleur asked "How illegal?"

"War with the Goblin Nation illegal."

She closed her big blue eyes for a long time in prayer, before getting down and helping.

"Oh, and Fleur…" Harry went on as an afterthought. Seeing her look at him he finished "…thanks for the whole crying thing. It meant a lot."

Her damn traitorous lips cracked a small pleased smile before she could stop them.

'Merde!'

','

Say what you will about the woman, she was of the type that would voluntarily face a Dragon, and not even really blink at being asked to help take down an invincible monster. Round after Round of unheard clattering impacted the Jabberwock, opening up vicious wounds on its flank. Fleur had been kept in reserve, but Harry concluded that not getting skewered was probably a good enough reason to play 'big damn hero' at his expense.

'Withdraw woman, withdraw!' He mentally commanded, the damn thing was charging a big old ball of flame just for her, while she wound down her first belt rather than stop firing. 'Screw this.'

Harry ran barely outside her field of fire and met with the behemoth, hopping as swiftly as his form could move he tried for a coup de grâce by heading up its back. The ball of flame was unleashed but Fleur was a big girl and could take care of herself, so he'd assume she was fine.

He got a nice deep gash, but the head was still on. 'Whoa! Watch those teeth there Harry. That was close.'

He got clear yet again by virtue of a truly outstanding piece of transfiguration form the Headmaster. A bloody Direwolf, a thousand pounds and ten feet at the shoulder. That was impressive.

Oh it's dead.

Well it was still impressive, and it gave Harry the moment he needed to escape.

As he heard Luna start on her sixth solo, Harry was beginning to wonder if this was a good idea, whoever came up with this plan had to be mental.

','

She had that little frown of concentration she always got when working through the meaning of a particularly complex theory. Tam noted this a few days before, from her reclined position just out of the woman's line of sight. Hermione was pouring over one of those massive tomes she was forever reading, and unintentionally distracting the redhead as she was forever doing.

Giving up as a bad job, the seemingly never ending task of transmuting all of this iron into Valyrian Steel, Tam got up and crossed to the far side of the Room of Requirement. "You are looking a little worn out Hermione, what are you reading?"

She startled a little at the interruption, and a fleck of that wild chestnut hair of hers fell across her brow. "I have discovered a reference to the super fast method of motion which was described to me, and I think I may be on the way to figuring out how to counter it." Hermione shared, brushing aside that lock of hair with an understated elegance which was a constant of the woman.

Resisting the urge to run her fingers through the brunette's hair, Tam sat "Do tell. I agree with you that whiffling is not the real word, so must be a reference for something else. You know the word is actually a method of dive used by ornithologists?"

"Is it really?" Hermione asked in a charmingly wondering tone "Fascinating. Regardless, I believe that what was being described is a Line of Sight Apparition variant, utilised primarily by Japanese spell casters. Or some Magical Creature deviation of the ability at any rate."

Arching her back the woman let out a long yawn, and flexed her limbs. If Tam didn't know better she'd swear the woman was doing it on purpose, those simple clothes she wore tightening at the overextension. "Worn out like I say." Tam smiled winningly "Would you like a massage? Loosening the muscles will help you concentrate better later on."

"I really should keep on at this, it is important-" Hermione began, tempted but instinctively twitching to return to her books.

'Time to Griffindork this thing out' Tam thought, physically taking hold of the woman's shoulders, gently commanding "Lie down! It has been a long time since I have done this, but I assure you I am quite skilled."

Books put aside and a transfigured table top later, found her strong delicate fingers working their way up and down Hermione's back. Finding tension and working it loose, the occasional grunts not really helping Tam's concentration, and Harry's wandering into the Room and smirking as he left not really helping either.

Okay, so Tam may have been forcing a little magic through her palms and fingertips which was making them glow a faint blue light, but it did enhance the experience so that was what mattered. When she was most of the way through, Hermione let out a long low moan and said "You are a really great friend Tam."

"It's my pleasure." The redhead replied with an indecipherable tone.

Not long after that she went in search of a shower. A cold one. Like glacial cold.

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'It was the _'Thu-Dum'_ noise/feeling, that's what Hermione was trying to explain.' Harry realised, rapidly returning to human form, and spinning his unwieldy blade like it were an aluminium rapier. He aimed for clear air, which was filled a moment later by their gigantic foe. Attempting to vanish and reappear directly behind him, bastard, as if that would work against him!

Erm-, again.

He scored another hit. Arm lopping off, nice. And even better, the thing didn't re-grow!

They were making progress.

Harry had thought they were all doomed when Hermione had almost gotten tagged, but Tam's leaping from the motorbike directly overhead, scoring a long slash with her serpentine blade, had been exactly as awesomely dangerous as if to be something Harry had done himself.

He came around for another pass, light on his paws.

'Come on Harry, you're a Bunny Rabbit, top of the fucking food chain! You can take such a pathetic little reptile with ease.'

A wandless mouse to hippogriff transfiguration dove into yet another annoyingly well targeted fireball, and it absorbed most of the force, with the Fire-Friend Potion taking care of the uncomfortable wash of heat.

Fleur was on her last belt of ammo, Dumbledore was still around here somewhere but hadn't been seen for a while, and Luna was well into what had to be her climactic solo. Meaning it was down to one of the Vorpal Bunnies in this forest to kill the Japperwock, and one of them better do it soon!

Heading directly through the scorched hippogriff mist, Harry let his instincts be his guide. Left, left again, right. Bound behind that boulder, sidestep the horrendously fast talon impact, brute force a solid shield. It was another silverback gorilla, scamper through some charred gorilla mist. Transform. Bring Sword of Vorpal to the fore.

Harry and the Jabberwock locked eyes. It was time to see beyond doubt, just who was top of the food chain.

_Snicker-snack!_

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"Right on the last note!" Harry shouted "How fucking badass was THAT!"

Sirius flew over on his bike with Albus in tow, Fleur padded her way toward the headless beast, and Hermione was watching Tam as she set about chopping relentlessly, looking to pull out the things heart against the off chance it would somehow recover.

"You guys owe me a shiny fiddle made of gold!" Future Luna commented as Past Luna vanished across the sands of time.

"Yeah yeah, fine. Nice tone by the way." Harry complimented.

"Honestly, magicing those extra two frets was the hardest part." She replied negligently.

"ARE YOU TWO COMPLETELY INSANE!" Fleur yelled "We 'av almost died so many times today."

"True, but we didn't." Harry pointed out reasonably. "What annoys me is that we now have to use Essence of Snape to get through the final ward."

As they took off deeper into the forest, Hermione's hand squeezed the French woman's shoulder consolingly "You'll get used to it Fleur."

Harry's voice called from the distance "Onward!"

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Lens of Sanity  
Clearly I've used Alice Lovegood and Jabberwock description from Lionheart. Credit where it's due. I re-read the section in CH84, _then _asked my brain how Harry's crew would tackle one. _(Seriously, __**that **__was my brain's Burbling solution!) _... And the M2 Browning can be mounted on _anything_ (including Cerberus'), there's a reason it's been in use since 1921.


	19. The City of the Dead

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_Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates_ taken from a webcomic I've not read, but found quoted on tvtropes; Schlock Mercenary … There is a Farscape quote in here too

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter Nineteen: The City of the Dead

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A tired group approached the final ward, the one preventing any who did not hold Voldemort's Dark Mark from crossing, and the last defence before entering the City outskirts. "Let's backtrack half a mile and set up camp." Harry declared "It'll be best to do this after a bit of rest anyway."

Surprisingly an over one hundred decibel rendition of shred metal, numerous assumedly large explosions, and the enormous conclave of magical energy undoubtedly released during the battle, did _not_ negate the fact that this was a stealthy, infiltration mission.

No doubt there were Magicals sensitive enough, and near enough to have felt _something_ had happened, however Albus' first job once Harry had joined battle with the creature, had been to set up beefy silencing wardlines with Hermione. Not keep noise out, but to prevent it from escaping.

Nevertheless it was really only a matter of time before the Death Eater's, or whoever they did send, pinned down the location. Luckily not long after the Jabberwock died, it sort of melted down, becoming part of the mossy ground. If you knew what you were looking at, you would be able to recognise the small hillock as the corpse of a monster, but simply passing over the site would probably not be enough for identification.

For the time being their enemies _should_ simply assume that whatever happened had been unsuccessful, and that the Jabberwock was still alive wandering around somewhere.

So now the seven were setting up a small encampment, beneath powerfully cast temporary wards, obfuscation, and anti-scrying. "I accidently brought only four sleeping bags so some of us are going to have to share." Harry commented in a surprised voice "I say let the old man, and the filthy dog keep their own. Sadly that means you're with Hermione, Tam."

Turning to Fleur with an innocent expression on his face, he saw her glaring at him for some reason. The French woman lifted her wand to the side, and simply conjured a spare sleeping bag. Lifting an eyebrow pointedly at him, Harry tried to play if off as not having thought of that. Which was ridiculous in the extreme saying as Padfoot was in the process of setting up the Beer Tent.

Truly, honest to the gods, and by the names of Meave, Merlin, and Morgana, magic made Camping a totally different experience. The vast majority of Muggles Camping did not have access to a Beer Tent, as far as Harry understood things, having never in fact experienced it himself.

It did not take very long at all before everyone was nice and relaxed around the enormous bonfire, listening to a mellow but singularly complex piece of music let loose from Luna's fingertips. All counterpointed melodies and abstract scale selection. Listening made Harry wish he knew more about music in general, for no other reason than to appreciate what he was listening to, but could not really hear.

Taking a reinforced bag from one of the supply boxes, Harry removed a small selection of simple bread products. They had been purchased from a particular bakery in the castle-town of Carcassonne, southern France a few days before, and kept fresh using a _Keeping_. Negligently tossing them to his platinum companion Harry went back over by Sirius, and to under appreciating the music.

He didn't bother to look back for Fleur's reaction.

','

Her aunt Bellatrix was nothing if not a terrible actress in Tonks' opinion. Given that she was an astute observer of human mannerisms, due to the desire to get the most from her innate skills as a metamorphmagus, this might not be saying much. Yet when she thought her aunt was terrible actress, Tonks was still quite confident that it _wasn't_ her practiced eye alone which was making her think this.

She'd never seen Professor Dumbledore carry himself with that kind of predatory laze. A slouching menace which screamed to pray, that the relaxed nature of its carriage was brought from certain knowledge, _nothing_ could possibly be in the vicinity which could harm it.

Don't get her wrong, Headmaster Dumbledore could command an air of danger when in the heat of battle, but it was nothing at all like watching her aunt wearing his form. That was it! It was as though he _wanted_ to be attacked, was begging for it, so that he could display his superiority to anyone foolish enough to challenge him.

Or in this case _her_, because it was really Bellatrix Black under Polyjuice, and not Albus Dumbledore.

Aunt Bellatrix was a terrible actress.

Tonks would have been infinitely more believable had she been allowed to play his part.

Tonks sighed audibly. Unfortunately, as skilled with a wand as she was, Tonks was only a year out of the Auror Academy. Anyone attacking _'Albus Dumbledore'_ would doubtlessly go all out from the first spell, or try to catch him unawares. In those circumstances, Tonks would have to admit she'd die very quickly, whereas the woman who her mother had told such terrifying tales about, would not.

She was walking down the street with Bellatrix _frickin'_ LeStrange!

That fact still shocked her when it shot through her mind. This was the woman she used to have nightmares about, the monster under the bed which would come out and gobble up little girls who were bad and didn't eat their vegetables. It was all the kid's doing of course. The Boy-Who-Lived, what an arrogant prick he'd turned out to be, once she got the dubious _'honour'_ of meeting him.

He'd flatly refused to call her anything but her loathed first name when they'd met. In fact it was worse than that. It was more like he was affronted someone like her would have the audacity to demand such consideration, as if a small child had insisted he call them 'Sir' rather than their name.

Things had come to a head when she'd overheard that comment about her being a one-woman Polyjuice Brothel, and someone's sternum may have needed to be Vanished and re-grown. But the upshot was that the Boy-Who-Lived had eventually started treating her like a real person. Well Harry had at any rate, he seemed to hate Boy-Who-Lived more than the Death Eaters did.

He was alright actually. He'd gotten her a massive pay-grade increase totally out of nowhere. Tonks would never have seen that one coming in a million years, the kid barely even knew her, and yet when he forced the Ministry to give in to his demands, she was one of the few he'd thought to get something for. And yeah, her new apartment; it rocked!

Pure and simple.

Passing a small group on Hogsmeade's main street Tonks came to a sudden realisation; in Harry's world you were either a real person, and he could torture you right up to your breaking point before he did something annoyingly thoughtful and endearing. Or you were _not_ a real person, and didn't really count as having thoughts or feelings of your own.

Tonks eyes widened.

She was on the inside!

Bloody hell; Harry talked to Albus Dumbledore like an equal, to Minister Scrimgeour like he was a stray dog, and the Dark Lord as if he were nothing more than a minor irritation. That realisation was important, it had to be. Frickin' hell, rumour had it that Harry'd cut off Scrimgeour's hand, then ransomed it back to him!

Seeing the poorly hidden group spring their quote, unquote '_Ambush_'; Tonks let fly her opening volley of jinxes, side by side with Bellatrix LeStrange.

When exactly had her life turned this strange?

','

'Fleur can be so much fun' Harry thought with a slight smile as he was getting ready to set off.

They had talked a little, but nothing had really happened. There had been this one moment where he'd leaned in as if to kiss her, she'd frozen in vacillation and looked like a dear in headlights. Only, instead of doing so he'd softly whispered "Goodnight" right next to her ear while inhaling her scent, then disengaged back to his tent.

Harry had noticed her glowing softly out the corner of his eye. She'd probably spent the six hours of resting time beating herself up about that. Fleur could be so much fun, and knowing what a glowing Veela was feeling, made understanding her situation all the more amusing.

It was a little after four in the morning, and walking back through the dense forest Harry rounded on Luna cheerfully "What happened to her?"

"Oh for heaven's sake Harry, I am not a hack Seer you know. My purpose is not to read your tealeaves and tell you your future." She complained in annoyance. "That future does not, and will never exist, in any form. So what on earth could it possibly matter?"

"Come on." The raven haired boy chided as the two loose groups headed for the final ward "I'm curious. I bet she went down taking out a hundred Death Eater's in a blaze of awesomest glory or something. A big finish like in a story!"

"You'd lose that bet." Luna muttered. Noting that Harry probably wasn't going to let this drop she sighed. "We believed she had been killed when the French Ministry capitulated to Voldemort, but she hadn't. Fleur reappeared a year and a half later married to the Earl of the North, which was the title given to the de facto ruler of the Northern Prefecture."

Harry frowned but waved her to go on.

"The United Kingdom, France, Germany and so on, were all reorganised into the Northern territory. And that was the one with the greatest prestige, due to it being the place in which the City of the Dead is located, and the Dark Lord spends most of his time. What I am saying is that your darling Fleur Delacour was married to one of the most powerful men in the world."

"Who?" Harry asked with a sinking feeling that he wasn't going to like this.

"Oh have a friggin' guess why don't you?" Luna demanded in annoyance. Seeing her friend just looking back at her dumbly, the two approached the boundary and drank their Essence of Snape potion, so she finished. "Who do you think Countess Malfoy was married to you idiot!"

','

Hitting a masked Death Eater with a _'Cut & Crush'_ Auror special, Tonks managed to spin back and get a full view of Dumbledore/Bellatrix taking down four enemies at once. It was the 22nd of August, and information about the Dark Lord's movements had indicated he would be well out of the country, attempting to make inroads with a Death Eater named Karkaroff from the old days. The man seemed to have a foothold at Durmstrang, and was bartering it in exchange for not getting horribly murdered for tossing a bunch of his associates to the wolves.

The world knew Harry was alive again thanks to his showing up at the Summer Wizengamot meeting and acting surprised when people claimed they'd been to his funeral. However this appeared not to have altered Voldemort's plans for Europe, so they were using this morning as a distraction.

With Dumbledore accompanying Harry on whatever secret mission they were undertaking, the decision had been made to leak this early morning trip to the Death Eaters, so that their numbers would be lessened wherever the other mission was taking place.

Tonks was betting on it being the City of the Dead, just like pretty much anybody with a brain, but she could be wrong. Malfoy Manor was a big target after all, even if there was still no evidence the Malfoys had joined the Dark Lord.

The downside of the plan was that it was being leaked through Snape, and the man's cover might be blown if the Dark Lord concluded it was a misdirection the Potions Master should have seen through. And risking Snape's position amongst the Death Eaters meant whatever the distraction was for, _had_ to be important.

Incanting a Hit-Wizard grade lightning hex nicknamed 'The Shocker,' Tonks attempted to fight the grin which always tried to make itself known whenever she used that spell. Tonks loved the Shocker after all. It took off the silver mask being worn by one of the new recruits, and Tonks noticed with surprise that she knew the young woman. She'd been a Ravenclaw in the year above her, and had _definitely_ joined up with those _'emilie'_ people.

The implication of course being that 'the Lockheart Legion' was nothing but a recruitment organisation for the Death Eaters, as the Order had suspected.

Pushing the realisation aside the metamorphmagus took in that aunt Bellatrix Polyjuice potion was wearing off, and she was trading shots with a mountain of a man holding a broadsword in his offhand. She linked up with Mad-Eye and three other members of Team Tiger, and then set about dealing with the weaker members and stragglers.

A reversed ambush truly did put the initiative on those being attacked, given that so few members of the Order had been taken out of the fight. Bill Weasley had taken a Dark Stunner and would be out for a while, but the man would be fine. The rest were finishing up the prisoner binding process, and Tonks moved back over to the single battle which was still going strong.

Bellatrix was taunting what could only be one of those Founder guys, using a baby voice of all things. Damn it was creepy hearing her talk about how she was going to eat the man's children when using that tone. She seemed to perhaps be a little outmatched by the man, however once he noticed reinforcements were on their way and that strong Escape Wards were in place, he shot out a series of bright flashes and thick smoke.

Then presumably ran off, grabbed a broom, or turned invisible.

Either way, the battle had been an outstanding success.

Good luck Team Bunny Rabbit, it was up to you guys now! … On reflection the Order really needed to institute a rule preventing Harry from naming things.

','

The Necropolis was Voldemort's main seat of power. An imposing tower of forty nine levels, with increasing security designations every seven levels, and a final seven each being defended as closely as the all the other levels combined. According to Luna, nobody had ever successfully gotten as far as their group had this morning, so no hostile force had ever so much as _attempted_ to infiltrate the fortress.

And it got worse.

Only the top, arguably least defended, floor was above ground. It was like an anti-tower, and upon seeing it Luna had instantly concluded that Helga had come up with that idea. Who in the hell built an _underground_ tower fortress? This was not a good sign. Petunia Dursley would be in the most defended cell, on the most defended floor.

The vessel of Lily Potter's sacrifice would seem too valuable to the Dark Lord to be hidden anywhere else. As it was that he did **not** know that the Blood Protection Guardian which offed Quirinus Quirrell in 1992, had died three years prior while Harry was kicking back in Azkaban.

"Wait!" Harry mutely shouted, from his position inside the decadently constructed alleyway "We're acting like idiots!"

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, allowing her Disillusionment Charm dissolve. The others, especially Albus looked intrigued at his statement.

"Come on!" Harry spat "We have to infiltrate a high tower, battle our way through the best of Voldemort's security. Search the entire fortress until we find the deepest, most secure cell. Extricate the prisoner, and then escape the alerted City somehow."

"Well yeah." Luna commented, like this was no big deal. "We already knew this was impossible remember?"

Everyone pretty much nodded at this. "But you told me that Helga probably designed it, and she always does the sensible thing." Luna waved for him to continue "Which means that the _'prisoner'_ we would eventually rescue, wouldn't really be aunt Petunia at all. It would be a Simulacrum which looks like her!"

Luna blinked, and everyone else shifted uncomfortably.

"Bloody hell, you're right." Sirius voiced it "So where the name of Merlin _is_ Petunia then?"

They forlornly shuffled for a while, each lost in thought. Albus and Hermione seemed to come to the same conclusion at the exactly the same time. "She is still in this City somewhere, but housed in a Fidelius protected building."

Flopping to the ground, back supported against the marble wall, Harry closed his eyes and began rubbing his temples. "How long until Tonks, Bella, and the rest of Tiger Team walk into the ambush?"

Hermione cast a _'Tempus'_ and informed him it was around an hour away, right as Tam returned from her little jaunt about town.

"There is an ice-cream parlour in this City…" Tam voiced, shaking her head in amazement. "We may be an evil organisation, but we won't say no to a tutti frutti with sprinkles!" she intoned majestically, and Hermione almost ruptured something preventing herself from laughing aloud.

"Stop with 'ze jokes!" Fleur commanded in horror "If 'zis mission is impossible, 'zen we should withdraw while we can."

"You can't give up just because something is impossible Fleur." Harry admonished "In fact, if it _wasn't_ impossible, I don't think I'd be interested in doing it at all!"

','

"Okay, so we have an hour to crack the Fidelius." Harry concluded "What do we know about that Charm?"

"It conceals a Secret inside a Secret Keepers very soul." Luna replied, not in the least bit phased by the declaration that Harry was going to pull this off somehow. "And the Secret cannot be obtained forcibly in any way, even Legilimency and the Imperius Curse will fail. The Secret must be _willing_ shared."

"Fine, and we don't know who the Secret Keeper is, what else?" The raven haired man went on.

"If one does not know the Secret, they could be staring directly at the hidden location and not be capable of discovering it." Dumbledore said.

"When the Secret Keeper dies, all those who knew the Secret become Secret Keepers themselves." Hermione added, at Harry's gesture to continue.

"People who do not know the Secret, can still know that something is hidden, be aware of the name of the place and even talk about it. However they will still not be able to find it." Tam said, having researched this particular Charm quite thoroughly. A few strange looks had her expound on the claim "Advanced methods of Scrying, or something like setting off a Taboo will allow one to narrow down the location of a covered building, only they still will not be capable of finding it."

"Can 'ze Secret Keeper be Obliviated of the knowledge?" Fleur asked, getting into it. 'What? Smart chicks are hot!' Harry thought, for a moment distracted "It sounds like Soul Magic to me, so I would doubt it."

"No they cannot be." Dumbledore confirmed.

"What happens if someone is _physically_ brought through the Charm's protection, without knowing the Secret?" Harry asked.

"Ghosting." Tam said "That is called Ghosting. Once the person leaves they forget where they had been, if not what they had done once inside."

"Why don't we do that?" Sirius asked, having had the wherewithal to erect some Privacy Charms during the increasingly loud conversation.

Harry liked it "Yeah, we would get stung by the other wardings around the building, but who the hell cares. Wands-a-Blazin' sounds good to me at this point."

"What are you saying Harry?" his _very_ bushy haired friend asked. "We go around grabbing Death Eaters and hope one of them happens to be going where we want them to be going?"

"We pair off," Harry decided "slap an Imperius on the highest ranking Death Eater you can find, and command them to go through the nearest Fidelius protected building, he or she knows."

"I can't do an Imperius Curse Harry." She protested.

"Yeah, I hate to use it for anything outside of sex, but what are you gonna do?" He admitted "This is gonna be fast and nasty."

The group took a few moments to think through the plan. They would have about forty minutes before Tiger Team created the distraction to capture a useful Death Eater, then maybe half an hour to search whatever location they find. Then it would be recover the prisoner, and run like hell.

He thought over the safest teams, and who was capable of the Imperius. Harry hated that Curse, it was the only Unforgivable which he thought was actually dangerous. Stealing someone's will, the idea sickened him. It was one thing to play with it with someone like Tracy, who was so unbelievably submissive, and got really turned on by the whole thing. But using it in this way, even on a known enemy it was appalling, and probably went a ways in explaining why he was so bad at casting it.

Harry made his decision. Fleur, Luna, Sirius would be the trio. He'd pair Hermione with Dumbledore because she needed the most protection, that left him and his _'brother,'_ good times.

"Okay, let's rock and roll." They all vanished from sight, and scattered to the winds of fair fortune.

','

Erection pressed up against his companion's firm well sculpted ass, the two were concealed beneath Harry's Invisibility Cloak, scoping out likely targets. "For Merlin's sake Harry, there is seriously something very wrong with you!"

"It's hardly my fault, I have a thing for redheads, and you smell really, really good." He protested.

She let out a muted grunt of annoyance. "You know I'm a guy right? Surely that means something to you."

"Well yeah," he agreed "it does in a logical way, but come on. You've got the body of a fucking pornstar, what do you expect?"

"Gah! You have Luna Polyjuice into me sometimes, don't you!" Harry didn't bother to deny it and she just left it alone "There's a good one, she's finished ordering those other two around so she's probably Inner Circle."

"What makes you think it's a she?" Harry asked, looking over. "Nevermind, I can tell from her walk."

'_Imperio' _Tam whispered.

The bickering duo were lead down the wide pedestrianised street, toward an easily forgettable location. Grabbing onto the female Death Eater as they approached what was presumably their destination, the two were physically brought through the Fidelius.

Instantly the other wards on the building began flaring to life, Harry and Tam were forced to batter down a couple of the outer wards, and the Invisibility Cloak took a hit. Surprisingly it wasn't damaged in the slightest, and after a few drawn out moments of furious casting they found themselves in a well put together little hallway. Alarm spells blaring at high volume would have been distracting enough, but coming down the solid wooden staircase was a striking woman wearing a solid gold tiara.

"Good morning Rowena," Harry greeted politely, stepping over the AKed female Death Eater "sorry to drop in unannounced, but we just couldn't resist stopping by."

Rowena didn't reply with any witty banter unfortunately. She _did_ however, fall on the two invaders like an iron clad avalanche. Hammerstrokes of power flew from her wandtip, and single use Runes being activated at odd angles, causing the two to scatter in an uncoordinated way.

'Okay, this is a bloody mismatch if I've ever seen one.' Harry concluded, opening up his _'Crash & Bash'_ spell-string at the same time as the redhead. Identically paired curses, impacting at exactly the same time, from brother wands; they had noticed the slight boost this gave them back when they were in the Room, during the never to be spoken of events which transpired.

Double _'Ossum'_ spells cracked the woman's Mage Shield; the duo of Bone Breakers managing to finally get through the woman's defences. Twofold casting seemed to be making up for the otherwise blatant mismatch.

After a long time, and a few deep gashes suffered by both, Harry and Tam had managed to subdue their opponent. A Killing Curse striking directly to her chest. Unfortunately, right as the host body died, the Diadem once Enchanted by Ravenclaw vanished in what was almost certainly a portkey variant, cheating them from a lasting victory.

"Bollocks!" Harry and Tam exploded together.

They made their way through the rest of the building, taking down a number of other Death Eaters with well drilled ease. After a time Harry's voice attracted his companion's attention "We have some time yet right?" He asked.

"A few minutes, why?"

"Storeroom." Harry informed laconically "Up for some plundering? I think that's a Pensieve."

Bursting into the surprisingly well furnished room ten minutes later, Tam and Harry took in the target of their entire attack on Voldemort's main base. "H-Harry?" Petunia Dursley asked astounded "Y-you came to rescue me?"

Turning to Tam he asked under his breath "Will she survive removal of the Blood Guardian? I never asked."

"Well I did, idiot." The redhead responded at a whisper. "And she might."

"Yeah," Harry declared confidently, Lockheart smiling at his aunt "we're here to rescue you, why not. Let's go with that."

','

Petunia was frightened, she would readily admit that. She had been ever since those witches and wizards had burned down her home, killed her family, and later captured her when she was out grocery shopping. They had seemed to be under the impression that her blood was powerful and dangerous, which for all she knew of magic could be the truth.

Petunia's treatment hadn't been too bad over the last few months. Her captors seemed to think she was on par with a farm animal as far as intelligence or consideration went; she'd been given food and a place to sleep, but otherwise was ignored as being beneath them. The time spent alone had concocted horrific scenarios, which luckily hadn't come to pass, so she considered herself surprisingly fortunate under the circumstances.

Now the boy, and what was presumably his girlfriend, had come to rescue her. Why the boy had come for her when she had been so horrible to him was a mystery, but as it was she found herself being directed out of her prison and into open sunshine for the first time in months. Thoughts of what he'd left in her cell long forgotten.

'Was that Albus Dumbledore?' Petunia gasped, recognising the man from the two times she'd met him.

He, a teenage brunette girl, and a red avian creature were tackling five times their number. And seemed to be winning, or at least holding steady. Petunia came up to them and then another group of three, -lead by that awful Sirius Black- came sprinting up from out of an alley.

"Bloody fucking Helga got away from me AGAIN!" A young blonde woman exploded furiously.

Everybody appeared to be looking to the boy for direction. _Including_ Albus Dumbledore, she noted with abhorrence.

"We need to get out of here now!" Sirius Black howled.

The boy, Harry, laughed "Stick to the Code."

"What?" that brunette girl shouted.

The blonde woman smiled along with Harry. "Rule One; Pillage, _then_ Burn."

','

Harry had directed a defensive ring to surround Luna and his aunt. A wide variety of curses were being thrown at the group, but fast hands and faster minds were keeping everyone safe. It took a little under two minutes for his friend to retrieve her Chocobo, Fleur's Cerberus, and Sirius' motorbike from the magically enlarge satchel they were being housed in. With the animals held in a magically endued sleep.

Awake and back under their compulsion charms, the mounts were once again ready for service. Tam and Hermione barely squeezed onto the bike with Sirius. Albus shuffled close to Luna on her Chocobo, with Fleur and Harry getting embarrassingly intimate, while Petunia tagged along on the back of the three headed dog.

Chimeras, Dragons, and Phoenixes leapt from the Elder Wand at Harry's left, all golden and yellow, tinged slightly with blue ribbons running through. From his right, Yew and Phoenix Feather unleashed a mass of serpentine creatures in all manner of reds, wreathed in a coppery hue.

The twin masses of Fiendfyre took up sentry, a big, bold dome of destruction circling the three noble steeds. Motorbike, Chocobo, and Cerberus took off in the direction of the Holy Forest, the edge of the wards, and freedom. Malevolent creatures of fire and destruction, galloping around and above, acting as their protection.

A bounding run, a Fire-Friend Potion, and a Bubble-Head Charm. Two hours later a whispered _'Caerbannog'_ to the wrist, found the group safe aboard Harry's floating home.

','

When they got up to the flight deck and the wide area window which offered a view of the Cursed City they had barely escaped from, Harry poured himself an ice cold pint of his favourite larger from the barrel, and waved for everyone else to do so.

"Take one." He ordered, seeing a few people were about to protest.

"Harry, we made it." Hermione breathed, then pointed over at one of the people in the room. "We actually pulled it off, look your aunt is right there!"

"Get a drink, and come stand over here." Harry repeated. "You too aunt Petunia. Come over here it's not over."

Noting Harry's unusually grave appearance the group did as he asked. Eventually eight people were standing side by side, staring over at the magical forest, and the unseen City Voldemort had created with his own hand.

Something on Harry beeped, and he spoke in a tone none of them had ever before heard him use.

"Ladies and gentlemen raise a glass, witness humanity's greatest contribution to the absurd."

Then there was a mushroom cloud.

','


	20. Fallout

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Twenty: Fallout

','

"Y-you set off an Atomic Bomb?" was the disbelieving question uttered from the lips of the one truly _good_ person Harry Potter knew. A teenager, who had nice parents, liked books, and was wrapped up in this whole thing for reasons he could not begin to comprehend. Hermione Granger watched the apocalyptic cloud of destruction in a state of numb shock.

"Yes." Harry confirmed, finishing off his cool, fresh tasting beverage. "I detonated a Nuclear Weapon on British Soil."

They all watched in silence for a while, with nobody really knowing what to say. Luna had been frowning at first, but it took her only a moment to conclude in Harry's favour.

"Have you any idea what you have done Harry?" Dumbeldore asked appalled.

He nodded "A fair idea yes."

"When the ICW finds out about this they-"

"Won't do shit!" Harry interrupted. "I am aware of the ICW treaties you helped write, back when that Dark Lady working with Grindlewald was taken out in the Hiroshima explosion. And that is why I intend to lie about what happened here."

"Harry, you can't just…" Tam and Albus said at the same time, but the redhead was the one who finished "…just do something like that. It's horrible. How many people were in that city?"

He didn't reply, but _did_ notice Fleur flawless face had across it a troubled look. However she was simply standing there and not getting involved herself.

"Harry, the Compacts…" Dumbledore attested "…all Signatories are duty bound to assassinate each and every one of us for what you have done."

"I'm going to lie about it, I've thought it through." Harry stated again. "Besides, if they _do_ make a stink about it, I can tell them you had no knowledge of it beforehand. Then I'll swear an Unbreakable Vow that I am being completely honest. It was for this reason I went to such lengths not to tell any of you beforehand."

"Are you certain it wasn't because we would have stopped you?" Hermione challenged.

"Yes Hermione, I am certain you would not have stopped me from doing it."

"Then why? What were you thinking?" Tam asked from her side.

','

"…were you thinking?"

"What can I say? It was the right thing to do." Harry said starkly, and noting the dubious looks waved them into silence. He set about pouring himself another drink while thinking about how he was going to explain. "I am not going to spout some pretty words and claim it was all for the Greater Good or anything. Because let's face it that kind of _Good _would be relative, as well as a load of horseshit.

Still, it was my decision to make. A person needed to carry the Dark Mark to get in, and we used a not-yet-invented principle in brewing the Essence of Snape potion. This meant there could not have been a **single** innocent in that City. So I chalked it up to being a military target, and therefore fair game.

A Fission Device was the only way I could think of to destroy the whole thing in one go. Bella and I spent a good portion of the Malfoy gold, spreading around enough cash and Confunding enough Muggles to track one down. Thanks largely to a water bottle filled with Veritaserum, we eventually found this guy in a Turkish Bazaar who had three. They had been lifted from the Russians now that their country is decommissioning, and he was selling them for 40 million US Dollars apiece."

"You gave an Arms Dealer that much money?" Hermione exploded, it was just getting worse and worse.

Shaking his head, Harry corrected "No, Bella put him under an Imperius Curse, and I killed him once we took the weapons." He breathed "Gods alone knows what would have happened had some religious group of crazies got one. And anybody who would sell something that dangerous to the highest bidder is the kind of person who would be enormously improved by death anyway."

"But we had escaped already," Hermione pointed out "why did you think the City needed to be destroyed?"

"Luna?" Harry asked "How many times has the City of the Dead been successfully infiltrated, in this timeline and the other future?"

"Other than this morning, precisely Zero times Harry." She promptly replied.

"Albus?" Harry went on "What is the sole real weakness of a Jabberwock?"

The old man frowned, before slowly replying "They cannot leave their Magical Forest, even should one be slain the Forest's magic will eventually respawn it."

"Tam?" his green stare moved onto the redhead "Even should we kill Voldemort forever ... do you believe he would have ensured the Jabberwock's instructions would still be followed?"

Tam paused in thought. 'A Jabberwock defending a Forest from people going against Voldemort's will, should he die it would still be attempting to do that.' Aloud she said "Yes, I see. The Holy Forest needed to be destroyed, and we did not have the necessary time to torch the whole thing using Fiendfyre." Then a longer pause "I am with you. I do not like it, but a weapon of mass destruction was the best thing to do."

"Ethically-" Dumbledore began, before a room full of people combined to face him with an identical look. One which screamed _'Weaponised Baby,'_ at the top of its lungs. And that the only reason they were not saying so out loud, was because of Hermione's presence.

"I want to go back to France 'Arry." Fleur stated in a small voice.

Harry didn't miss a beat and took out a large metal ring he'd had in his pocket the whole time they spent in the City. He'd had a feeling she might ask, but was hoping it wouldn't be needed. "The activation phrase is _'Carry me to Carcassonne, Goodbye Harry,'_ and it must be uttered in your distinctive timbre."

The stunning woman did so, locked as she was by his big green eyes. Did she look a little sad?

As soon as Fleur vanished Harry let out a long sigh. "I should have kissed her when I had the chance."

Slowly Harry turned to the one person remaining who counted. "Here is the deal Hermione; I don't like it, but still decided that this was the best course of action. For various reasons, nobody else in the room but you matters, and I want you to go away and think about it. Then in a few days, you are to tell me whether or not I'm evil. Understand?"

Hermione looked so shocked at the order she could not speak, so simply nodded once.

"Someone show aunt Petunia to her room please, I have to go do a thing."

','

Luna was overlooking the charred remains of the Holy Forest while Harry left the room. It was a masterstroke, nothing short of it in her opinion. She didn't think the others really understood just what kind of place the City of the Dead _was_, or had been she supposed would now be more accurate.

'A Thermonuclear Weapon in a Magical war.' Luna thought astounded. She would have never thought of that in a hundred progressions of the Zodiac; Rabbit to Rabbit once every twelve years.

It was not lost on her that Caerbannog seemed to be leisurely circling the recently destroyed City, and on later investigation would learn that the ship was maintaining a huge dome of energy which prevented the radioactive fallout from escaping. Harry really _had_ thought of everything. He even intended to fund scrubbing the area clean using the last of the Malfoy Vault.

"What _thing_ does he have to do?" Hermione asked after their friend had left.

"Do you want to guess, or shall I simply tell you?" Luna replied. Rolling her eyes at their predictability she continued. "In as much detail as you can remember, what happened to Harry following the Hall of Prophecy Battle?"

"Erm-," Sirius said thinking back "He made sure Tonks was alive didn't he? And that Bellatrix would be treated in the Hospital Wing."

"The next time I saw him, he had shown up with Tam and it was the next afternoon." Hermione added.

"Eight members of the Order of the Phoenix had died at the Ministry." Luna reminded them "He locked himself in the Room of Requirement with three bottles of firewhiskey, and an alcoholic grade Hangover Remedy." The blonde paused before finishing "Harry hates killing people, or getting them killed. The only reason Tamsyn managed to capture him so easily was because he had fled the Castle early the next morning, so as not to have to talk to anyone." She took another breath. "Exactly the same thing happened after Malfoy Manor, when he'd connected a Killing Curse with someone _other than_ Voldemort for the first time."

These revelations caused an appreciable amount of introspection. After a time Dumbledore took his leave, as did Hermione accompanied by Fawkes. Tam followed shortly after, and with a nod Sirius left the two alone.

"So Mrs. Dursley, what do you think of Harry's home?" Luna asked blandly. The woman was clearly overwhelmed by everything that had happened and did not respond. "Come on, I'll help you find someplace to sleep. Even though it's not yet noon, I'll bet you're as in need of a nap as I am."

"B-but," Petunia stuttered. Eventually vaguely managing an "Impossible!"

"Quite." Luna agreed "One piece of good news however; your estranged sister is probably going to recover from her death, if Harry has anything to say about it at any rate."

','

Scampering after Hermione, Tam noticed that she was with that damn bird again. She didn't know how people could stand the noises it made. The sounds felt like nails were being dragged across the blackboard of her very soul. Harry had always been indifferent to the effects, take them or leave them, although he still got along quite well with the Phoenix. That was probably because of the whole battling side by side in the Chamber thing. Hermione and a few others always felt strong and uplifted, but Tam really hated being around the immortal creature.

Sucking up her discomfort she closed on her target, seeing that the woman was visibly upset.

"How are you holding up Hermione?" Tam asked reaching her.

That untameable flow of hair was even more wild than usual, and she eventually responded with agitation "Harry, he-, I, accessory to mass murder, I-," Hermione tried to verbalise what she was going through. "...then, asking-, and I'm the only one who…"

In that instant Tam came to a decision, a firm resolution that she knew of one sure way to calm the other girl. Pushing her lithe feminine body up against the chestnut haired teenager, she kissed her. First contact of her full red lips caused the woman to freeze in shock, but slowly, hesitantly, Hermione broke and began kissing back. It went on for a long perfect moment, and the avian took its leave in a blessedly silent flight.

Hermione's first moan of pleasure snapped her out of what was happening, and back to the realities of the situation. "N-no. What are you doing, we can't!" The teenager scrambled "I am a girl, girls don't do this … You're a girl!" She accused the last.

Not fazed in the least by this reaction, Tam's eyes narrowed predatorily and Hermione got just a little bit scared "That is just it though, I am really not."

Slamming both the brunette's wrists above her head with one hand and pushing the woman up against the wall, Tam held the other girl in position with the ease of her ritual enhanced strength. Tam's predatory gaze was stronger than ever as it stared into her for the longest time. Then she took a forceful kiss from the other girl. Hermione struggled at first until her traitorous body sagged in blissful submission.

A final sane thought cried out in a small voice before being cut down:

'What would my parents think?'

','

Luna eventually decided to forgo her nap in favour of butting her nose in where it was not wanted. She'd hit the Muggle with a minor spell from the simplest Earth Seal, and Harry's relative had decided to sleep for a while. Five minutes' walk past the Library Luna approached his door and noticed with little surprise that it was covered in Security Charms, and greater surprise when she discovered he'd went with a Shroud of Athena.

"You're spending way too much time with Riddle." The blonde commented to the Ether.

It took an involved few minutes to place a slash in the construct, and alter her magical signature enough to slip through the security without setting it off. Eventually she whispered the _'secret'_ password and eased open the door. Harry had somehow already finished one bottle, and was working steadily through the second when Luna flopped down beside him and took a big swig of the offered drink.

"Pretty flowers go boom!" Harry declared sensibly. "And some pretty flowers go; 'Wee! Wee! Wee!' all the way home!"

Luna already wished she were _more_ drunk.

"I knew y'know." The inebriated 'world saviour' intimated "Knew as soon as you brought her, that she'd leave once it happened." Then a burp and an unnaturally loud shout "BOOM!"

"Yes Harry, Boom." She agreed. "Honestly, I would have done precisely the same thing had I thought of it."

"Yeah," He said, downing the final a third of his second bottle of firewhiskey. Had he been a Muggle, he'd have died of alcohol poisoning by now. Accidently switching to French as fluent as any native Harry continued "How though? I mean, the little ponce is a blood purest, and she's not even totally human … An-and worse, she watched the ponce **kill me**, didn't she?"

'Wow, he must be even more hammered than I thought.' Luna decided 'Even pissed Harry never lets this much slip.'

"Honestly, I couldn't tell you." She admitted to her partially conscious companion "I've never gotten close enough to either of them to make any intelligent comment."

"Huh, figures. Useless time travel." He said "I think the Wizengamot's gonna' buy the pile of crap I'm gonna' feed them a' least."

The two worked their way through the third bottle pretty much in silence, and when Harry finally fell into a dangerously alcohol fuelled slumber, Luna commented in a slur "A friggin' 'ope so. They'll kill us without sec'nd thought if ya don'"

','

Draco's life had been full of ups and downs in recent history he mused, approaching the final major security section on Level 42, and nodded to Mr. Gibbon. He'd killed Potter, that was when everything had really started to change. Not only was he one of the Inner Circle due to his efforts on behalf of the Dark Lord, but the successful execution of his hated rival had brought with it a sense of having accomplished something, as well as some renown amongst his fellow Death Eaters.

Flanked by his twin Bodyguards Mr. Crabbe and Mr. Goyle, Draco continued across the winding passageways of Level 43, through increased security, making his way toward the next staircase, and yet further down. This was a long trip, he knew from past experience.

With the notoriety earned from his -admittedly fairly lucky- dispatching of their enemy, Draco had been offered a personal lesson in magic from the Dark Lord himself. The near unprecedented nature of this gift made it something of great worth, not just from what would be learned, but for the prestige offered within the organisation.

The lesson had been quite painful.

Draco had been ordered to go all out, to do his utmost to defeat and if possible kill the Dark Lord. Unforgivables were expected not just allowed, and he'd snapped off more than a few _'Avada Kedavra'_ Curses in the attempt. As well as the best of the Dark Arts he'd been able to pick up from his father and various other sources.

He hadn't come close of course, and the dodging exercise at the end had been, well nothing short of _agonising_. "Dodge now! _Crucio, Crucio, _dodge! _Crucio._" He shuddered reflexively approaching the stairwell to Level 45.

The thing he'd remembered most from the first lesson however, had nothing to do with magic at all. Draco had been given an insight none of his other tutors had ever offered him before, so he'd thought long and hard on its meaning and more importantly _real world application_.

"Why was it that no member of the Slytherin line, those of high magical power and purest blood, had taken the world and attempted to reshape it as it needed to be reshaped, for more than five hundred years?" The Dark Lord had asked.

Draco had been recovering from a series of vicious Cruciatus Curses at the time, so his mind may not have been at its swiftest, but he'd been unable to come up with an answer. Nor was he particularly confident he fully understood the question. However the Dark Lord was rarely verbose in his questions and less so in his explanations, therefore Draco listened well while Voldemort was being so.

"You have the blood Draco, and should be rightly proud of your ancestry, as I am of mine." He had intimated in his distinctive sibilant tones "Yet it is by wand and will and magic that will make you who you should be. Those who stand on their ancestor's shoulders, rather than by their own mind and magic, will inevitably find themselves shorter by a head."

Finally making it to his destination on Level 49, Draco sat on his large chair, in his plush office. Across the hall was the Simulacrum only he and six others knew about, and everyone else believed to be a valuable prisoner.

Draco had not at first, understood the Dark Lord's words. He was a Pureblood, he could trace his family tree back more than eleven generations of Purebloods. This gave him the right to rule over the lesser Magicals. This was what he'd been taught, and was what he personally believed.

Taking a sip of the small glass of Champaign following a hard sleepless night's work, Draco nodded to himself. One did not discount the Dark Lord's words, especially not when he seemed to be teaching something important. It had taken the loss of his father, and time working through the duties he now had forced on him as Head of Malfoy, before the instruction had permeated.

Greg and Vince were Purebloods from old lines, vassal Houses to that of Malfoy. And as good as those two could be with a wand on occasion, they did not have the will or the magic necessary to make themselves great, in the way the Dark Lord had described.

Potter's surprising return from the dead during the Wizengamot meeting hadn't really affected Draco's status at all, but it made the note he'd received so many months ago, all the more intriguing:

'_We appreciate the good works you have achieved during your time in the United States. Enjoy this fine wine courtesy of my private stores.  
Signed  
Gerard Delacour'_

His family didn't shout if from the rooftops, but they hadn't always been blonde.

There was a massive blast of heat and a shuddering explosion, Draco was taken from his seat and slammed into the far wall. Everything went dark.

','

Draco woke an indeterminate length of time later with every fibre of his being screaming in agony. It wasn't like the Cruciatus feeling, more a 'my eyes sting like they've been swabbed with bleach' feeling, running through his muscles and joints, even his lips and under fingernails.

He'd been injured. That much was obvious.

"G-uh, Urg!" was about the most sensible statement he could manage, while shaking some of the clouds out of his mind.

Eyes cracking open he noticed that his office was a shambles, and that Vince and Greg were down with pretty nasty injuries themselves. Clumsily retrieving his 10" Unicorn wand, he set about casting some diagnostic spells on the two. Concluding that there was very little he could accomplish here, Draco stuck a medical Stasis on them and transfigured their injured bodies into snakes, which were in turn pocketed using shaky hands.

He spent the next forty five minutes in partial consciousness, recovering as many people as he could. Those who were still alive at any rate, given that a fair percentage of them hadn't survived whatever had happened. Draco had killed the thrashing Simulacrum and pocketed the Rowena Founder's Crown, one of the four items all Senior Death Eaters had been charged with defending using their very lives if need be.

Once he'd made his way up to Level 42 checkpoint's door, Draco learned that nothing above remained at all. Any Death Eaters who had been in the rest of the tower had obviously been destroyed. He activated his emergency portkey back to Malfoy Manor, having not really believed it would work he was surprised to find himself in the main hallway.

A frantic woman with long blonde hair came barrelling into the entrance hall, all proper decorum long forgotten, and Draco managed a few words "Hello mother dear…"

Whatever he was going to say was lost by means of his introduction to the floor.

','

No Muggle in history had ever experienced a hangover like it. This was mostly due to the fact that consuming enough alcohol to earn one like it would result in a person's death. In the event that said person did not have innate magic coming to their aid anyway.

Harry would never learn that it was _so_ bad that it broke through Voldemort's advanced Soul Occlusion, and that the sensation on his end could be described as a big warm hug. Pleasant and uplifting.

He managed to get to the shower and turn it on full belt, just below boiling. There was an evens chance that his clothes were still on, and zero chance they could be rescued from all the vomit staining. Harry downed the tiny tar-like potion, and stood under the scorching blasts of water. With one eye barely cracked open he watched the black sticky beads of toxin force their way through the pores of his skin, oh the delicious sobering pain of it.

It felt like someone was separating all of the negative fluids from his body and pushing them agonisingly through his skin. Oh wait; that's _exactly _what the potion was doing, and it hurt like fucking crap!

Thirty minutes later he was clean, dressed, sober, and ready for a new day.

He made his way through a number of corridors, across the bridge, and up a few flights of stairs. Eventually he came to the flight deck were Sirius and Dumbledore were having a muted discussion. "What's up Doc?" He asked, gnawing his breakfast carrot.

"No sign of Hermione." Sirius informed, causing Harry to shrug. She'd decide as she would, there was no point rushing her.

They talked for a while and Dumbledore eventually voiced his chosen course of action. "I intend to spin back six hours and make an assessment of our current situation. I have no doubt there will be questions."

With that he pulled out his personal Time-Turner and Harry managed to keep a straight face, albeit barely, as the Headmaster vanished from sight.

"What's so funny there Harry?" Padfoot asked, noting his godson's amusement.

"We're in an airship." He replied shortly. Not ten seconds later a silvery Phoenix coalesced between the two, and spoke with the old man's voice.

"There is a Wizengamot meeting at six o'clock this evening, do not be late" Then a pause "And I did not appreciate your prank Harry!"

This caused the raven haired man to burst out laughing. Sirius was confused for a moment, before he figured out that Dumbledore must have reappeared a mile up, with nothing but clear air to support him. "Oh I wish I could have seen his face."

"Yeah" Harry laughed in agreement. After amusement faded he moved his godfather over to a set of Control Runes. "It looks as though I'm going to be busy, so you're going to have to do this."

"Hm?" Sirius replied looking over the softly glowing runes.

"While you guys were forging all those Valyrian bullets and going over different plans, I was coming up with a way to contain the radiation released by my big finish." He informed "I did a crap load of super redundant Arithmancy to make sure my calculations were spot on. Anyway, I created a bubble ward all the way around the City of the Dead and had Caerbannog charging it. Once the ship has completed its forty fourth pass, the _'Eihwaz' _Rune will light up and I need you to activate it."

"Okay," Padfoot agreed dubiously "what will it do?"

"Collapse the ward." Harry answered "Hopefully it will take most of the contamination with it. It should do anyway; getting this thing to work was harder and more expensive than acquiring the Bomb."

"No problem. When do you think it'll have charged?"

"A couple of hours probably, so sometime late this afternoon." Harry finished "Have a scope around the centre after you're done if you get the chance. There might be something cool left behind."

','

"Harry, you're going to be late!" Hermione shouted at him. She hadn't made up her mind yet, but at least she was still speaking to him.

"I don't care, I'm not going without it." He stated, rooting through the piles of detritus strewn around his room. "Your hair looks great by the way."

The brunette frowned, it was the fourth time she'd heard that today. Luna came on the scene, "What's he doing?"

"I don't know." She said "Looking for something apparently."

"A-ha!" Harry declared triumphantly "Found you!"

"Oh that is the coolest thing I've ever seen." Luna declared as Hermione face palmed. "Can you get me one?"

"Sure."

One minute to six found Harry striding confidently into the Wizengamot chamber, wearing full formal attire, and with rampant Griffon standing proudly on his shoulder's declaration patch. Long jet black facial hair tucked into his belt completed the look, a wise and imposing leader-type like him who was not to be trifled with lightly.

'And Hermione thought I should do this _without_ my Senating Beard. She must be crazy.'

Taking in this sight, the Wizengamot members who had shown up collectively groaned; he was wearing the Beard again. Last meeting Harry had attempted to pass Zeppelin legislation, citing the aforementioned beard as one of the main reasons they should listen to his arguments.

Seeing that he was about to make some ridiculous opening comment, one of the members threw out the reason they were here. "The village of Greater Hangleton, colloquially know as the City of the Dead, has been completely destroyed. What did you do?"

Sighing at having been prevented from making his awesome opening comment, Harry just answered the question, while quietly mourning his lost opportunity. "I don't remember."

"What?" The Chief Warlock exploded. Not only was Harry wearing the Beard, but he didn't even have a plan to prevent them all from being murdered by the ICW.

"I Obliviated myself." Harry went on. "Several weeks ago I devised a method of setting off a Fiendfyre Cascade, using a timed Rune Set..." He lied smoothly. "…Lord Voldemort's city needed to be destroyed, and it was the only thing I could think of to pull it off. The Arithmancy involved must have been incredibly complex, and I still recall how expensive the Smokey Black Diamond I used as a rune stone was to purchase.

Once I had completed the process, which is completely within the rights you granted me when I agreed to help fight your war by the way. Once I'd completed it, I decided that the knowledge was far too dangerous even for me to have. So I destroyed all of my notes, and Obliviated myself. The ability to destroy an entire City magically is the kind of thing which led to the Atlantis Cataclysm, and I'm in no hurry to set something like _that_ off."

The room discussed this for a while, talking about whether or not it _was_ within his rights, and none of them really questioning Harry's word concerning what had happened. Sirius would have scrubbed the area by now, so there shouldn't be any evidence to the contrary.

Unclipping his fake black beard, Harry cheerfully swept from the room.

','

"Somebody set of a Nuclear Weapon on Our Island!" Elizabeth Windsor, Defender of the Faith, Queen of England bellowed at the top of her lungs late the next day. "Who?"

"Their Minister has informed me it was one of their more … prominent …citizens." The Prime Minister of Great Britain replied over the phone.

"Bring him too me." The enraged monarch ordered. "Right this instant!"

There was a long pause, some muttering, and what was clearly a muffled conversation containing more than a little heat.

"They are asking whether or not we have Zeppelin access."

','

Lens of Sanity  
The Emma Watson & Karen Gillan kiss I assume is a DVD Easter Egg, is **not** something I'd advise in real life for a first kiss, if you misread the situation the girl will doubtlessly hurt you! … Who's liking Malfoy as both competent AND a Death Eater? He's usually useless except when Harry's bestest friend … BTW Nuclear Weapons don't penetrate the ground too well, so Draco _might_ have survived.


	21. Karmic Bypass

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Twenty One: Karmic Bypass

','

Hermione Granger was lying in bed staring up at the ceiling. She'd taken note of the predominant Slytherin colours which adorned the rest of the room, and now was staring without thought directly overhead. She was pointedly _not_ in her own room. And that was bad. Very bad.

She should be in her own room. That was where she should be. Definitely. She should definitely be in her own room.

…

She was going to be in so much trouble.

The green tones were pleasing to the eye, relaxing and stylish, if a touch on the grandiose side. A lot like her friend really, now that the idea crossed her mind. Hermione had gotten closer with a new friend ever since Harry had survived his death, mainly due to the fact that Tam was one of the few sensible people in her life. A girl who didn't appreciate all of the foolishness people like Luna and Harry threw around without even thinking about it.

The girl had always been around when she needed a helping hand, or wanted to talk through some new theory she'd been reading in a book. Although on the other side, had some very disturbing notions as to the application of magic, most of which was uncomfortably Dark in nature. Still, she was intelligent, and could on regular occasions provide illuminating insight when the two were conversing.

A mass of voluminous crimson hair shifted on Hermione's chest. Oh no! She was waking up. And that was bad. Very bad.

She definitely shouldn't be here!

Hermione found herself pinned by that brown eyed look which made her feel like a tiny mouse, one which had been cornered by a gigantic Viper. "T-Tam y-" She tried in a small voice. Then those lithe, supple fingers of hers began to move. When those large soft lips began trailing their way down her abdomen, she spoke again "S-stop. Please?"

After a time Hermione let out a small gasp as her breath caught, and the redhead stopped instantly. Looking over her flushed skin and goosefleshed state, Tam acquiesced "Okay, Hermione. You wanted me to stop. So I stopped."

'Now that was just so unfair!'

','

Hermione walked the halls of Harry's airship lost in thought. It was noon, a little over twenty four hours since the ethically dubious climax of their fortress infiltration. She still hadn't made up her mind about that, but with all of the other far more immediate concerns, the destruction of an entire city in a single blow had been put on the back burner.

Passing _her_ Library -she shivered- on the way to find her friends, Hermione was lost in thought as had been said. Tamsyn had made her do all kinds of terrible things, and Hermione had _tried_ to make her stop, but she wouldn't. And then this morning she had attempted to escape, and Tam had stopped her, forcing her to do _more_ things. Afterwards, when the redhead had gotten her way, she had forced Hermione into a shower to _'clean up,' _and that hadn't gone at all well either.

She didn't know what had happened. Wait! That was it! Tam was evil, this much was obvious, and she used all kinds of horrid Dark Magic every single day. The proclivity toward Dark Magic meant that she was probably an expert caster of the Imperius Curse. Therefore the only sensible conclusion was that she, Hermione, had been put under the Imperius Curse by Tam at some point in the recent past.

Coming across Sirius and Luna, she took in that both of them complimented her on her hair for some reason. Which was strange because _her_ hair was notoriously a nightmare. Regardless, they did not know where Harry was, so she continued on her search.

Right then, well now she knew she was under the effects of the Imperus, she could begin doing something about it. In fact, from her fourth year experience under that awful Curse, Hermione knew that there was a calming sense of euphoria which helped the recipient relax and follow orders. And Hermione was certainly feeling those kinds of effects right now, so it just added credence to her whole Imperius theory.

Now, what did the books tell her about fighting off the Unforgivable? It was all willpower. If Hermione could get her willpower strong enough to begin seriously questioning Tam's nefarious orders, then she needn't have a _stronger_ will, only strong enough. _Then_ she could break the effects.

It was simple.

All she had to do was say 'No!'

"Hello Hermione," Tam greeted from her position lounging around the main room "have you seen Harry?"

"No!" Hermione asserted forcefully, before the evil immoral redhead kissed her.

'Damn! So close.'

','

It was nearing midnight and the Prime Minister was sitting alone in his office, reading a long memo that was slipping through his brain without leaving the slightest trace of meaning behind. There had been, what was presumably a terrorist attack, a little over thirty six hours ago, and as such normal memos really couldn't hold his focus to any great extent.

He turned over the second page of the memo, saw how much longer it went on, and gave it up as a bad job. Stretching his arms above his head he looked around his handsome office, a fine marble fireplace facing the long sash windows. Of course they were firmly closed against the unseasonable cold they'd been experiencing despite it being late August.

His aide came in a short while later, and set about a long garbled briefing. The repeated use of words like 'Impossible' and 'Preposterous,' had primed the stately politician sufficiently to make an educated guess. There had unquestionably been a detonation on British Soil, however his aide was informing him that the fact finders who were investigating, found that none of the radioactive fallout was progressing much beyond a few miles of the blast zone. A sleepy out of the way village of no military or strategic importance whatsoever.

This impossible _'bubble'_ which was being described to him, and the news that the whole scene seemed to have now vanished, screamed one thing; 'It was _them_!'

He knew it.

Somehow it was them, and they were going to give him some answers. Chasing out his aide the Prime Minister moved over to a dirty oil painting in the far corner of the room, depicting a froglike little man wearing a long silver wig. Tapping the frame and glaring with menace, the Prime Minister spoke in command to the stationary figure.

"Get the Other Minister here right this instant!"

Thirty minutes later he was face to face with the Other Minister, a man with a shaggy appearance more lined with gray than last time the two had been in discussion. He proceeded to explain the Magical side of the story, and how one of their citizens had _magiced_ a device which was used to destroy the … City?

Had he heard that right? The Prime Minister's sources indicated less than five hundred inhabitants.

Regardless, the story seemed a little off to the politician, in that he doubted any such magical device had actually been used. The fact finders collected enough data to track down exactly _which_ Nuclear Device had been set off for god sake. They'd used some kind of radioactive spectrum process which didn't seem important, and so the Prime Minister knew the thing to be one of Russian design believed to have been decommissioned.

As this was one of the few times in which the Prime Minister seemed to be better informed than his magical colleague, he decided _not_ to share this morsel of information.

"I wish to meet this Harry Potter character." He concluded.

"Well, there may be a slight problem with that," the man informed with frustration "he rarely answers his Mirror. And even when he does, you're lucky to get any useful information out of him at all."

The man, Scrimgeour, seemed legitimately irritated when admitting this. "What do you mean? You are supposed to be in charge of your side of the government are you not? One man should be of little consequence regardless of how well connected."

"It's not that." Scrimgeour attested "The previous administration threw him in Azkaban despite the fact that he was completely innocent, and he doesn't particularly like the Ministry."

There was obviously more too it, but the Prime Minister didn't think he'd get the full story. A young red haired assistant whose name he instantly forgot, came through the fireplace a short time later carrying a hand mirror. The assistant was forced to hold the thing for him, as he was not magical himself and so couldn't operate it.

An extremely attractive woman with heavily lidded purple eyes greeted him distractedly when he looked into the mirror.

She was not helpful.

At his request, she was replaced by a blonde woman he'd place in her mid twenties.

The Prime Minister was suffering a headache by the end of the blonde's first sentence.

','

Travelling with Luna and Bellatrix on the 24th of August, Harry was approaching Craigowan Lodge, whose appearance was being dominated by the shadow cast from his floating home. The Queen was currently residing in the seven bedroom stone house about a mile from the main castle in Balmoral, and luckily the flight hadn't taken too long. Harry had something important to do today, and would not have bothered showing up at all if not for the fact that the Crown apparently still had some authority over British Magicals.

Hermione had refused his offer to accompany him for reasons Harry was starting to have deep seated suspicions about. She'd instead made sure he understood this was the Queen he was meeting, and that he had to be respectful. And she'd probably said some more things too, but Harry had only been half listening, so he may have missed some of it.

"Our entourage has been summoned by the monarch." Bellatrix Black intoned to the guard utilising her underused aristocratic mannerisms. "We do not have all day." She finished dismissively.

A short time later the three were standing before the Queen in a modest greeting room, with Luna and Bellatrix flanking Lord Potter on both sides, and standing deferentially so that it was clear Harry was the centre of attention.

"Is this some kind of joke?" The monarch asked icily.

Not replying, Harry instead made a grand show of bowing respectfully. He was working hard to prevent his nose from twitching, or his menacing ears from intimidating the woman.

"Well!" She demanded impatiently. Seeing that neither human was going to reply any time soon she went on, attempting to pin Bellatrix with a threatening glare. "I demanded the presence of Harry Potter, where is he?"

"Right here Your Majesty." Luna promptly replied, gesturing to the individual in question respectfully. Man but Luna could keep a straight face like a pro.

"The rabbit?" She asked dangerously "Do you believe that because you are one of Our Magical citizens you can garner some amusemen-"

Then Harry was standing there in the formal robes his family tome had informed him were appropriate when summoned by the Crown, unwieldy Vorpal Sword strapped to his back, and giving his best effort at a commanding presence. There was an off chance it would help.

The Queen's gasping in surprise, coupled with a potentially deadly weapon on his back, caused the three guards to level SA80's at Harry and all but open fire.

"Whoa! Calm yourselves there kids," Harry ordered "you don't want someone to get hurt." That last may or may not have been left ambiguous intentionally.

He must have made a sudden move or something, because after a few moments hesitation the three guards opened fire. Seeing this happen Luna casually lifted her right hand with splayed fingers and softly intoned a single syllable:

"No."

Every single one of the bullets careening toward the three slowed visibly, eventually halting in midair harmlessly. The blonde then picked one from the air and examined it curiously before nodding once, causing the rest to fall to the floor.

'That was pretty fucking cool.' Harry declared silently in his own mind, he'd have to learn that at some point. Aloud he turned back to the Queen and said "Now that killing us didn't work, could we move it along please?"

','

Hermione was standing behind the large wooden ships wheel piloting the Caravel of Caerbannog, and mused idly that the name really wasn't all that bad. It had obviously grown on her since all those attempts to have Harry name the thing something sensible. Steering the airship was actually quite fun she decided, and also came to the resolution to do it more often.

Merlin alone knew what was going on with Harry at the same time, but Hermione simply couldn't bring herself to go with him when he met with the Queen of England. Even though it was obvious _something_ was going to happen which she should be there for, on the off chance she could prevent whatever it was from going too badly.

No. She couldn't bring herself to get involved with something else when her mind was already so occupied with other things. The biggest and most glaring of which was a discovery most unfortunate in its implications.

Hermione was _not_, it eventually turned out, under the Imperius Curse.

And that was bad. Very bad.

She span the wheel and the ship lurched dangerously before righting itself. Okay, she'd admit doing that was pretty fun. Not out loud, but she would admit it to herself.

Her life would have been so much simpler had she just been under the Imperius Curse. Now she had to be all stupid and Griffindorish, because she knew what she had to do. And she had no idea what the fallout was going to be like.

No idea at all.

','

From his position seated atop a Giant Tortoise, Harry was rubbing his temples and finally reaching the end of his tether. "Fine!" He exploded, less than fifteen minutes after entering the room. "You win now shut the hell up."

Given that this was possibly the first time in decades someone had spoken to her in such a way, Elizabeth Windsor controlled herself admirably. "So you admit to setting off a Nuclear Bomb on the British Isles." She pushed in coldly.

"Yes," Harry confirmed "and you are going to have to promise not to tell anybody. If the international community figure it out, all my friends are going to be facing such a shitstorm. It'll make recapturing the Falkland Islands look like a snap."

"What makes you believe a petulant child with a hereditary title can make demands of Us?"

The constant use of the Plural was beginning to annoy him, Harry was certain she knew it, and was sure she was using it on purpose. "We saved your daughter in law's life!"

"What?"

"The Princess of Wales was apparently killed in a car accident sometime next year by a drunken chauffeur," Harry intimated, gesturing to his friend "and Luna there found the guy and memory charmed him into moving to South Africa."

"Was killed, _next_ year?" The Queen asked confused.

Harry frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose "Did I not mention the time travel?"

The small group then spent the next hour and a half discussing a future that never happened, how the world was conquered by a half crazy, half insane madman, and how Luna came back to help Harry ensure things turned out differently. The bodyguards were Oblivated once the Queen agreed to keep their secret. One word to the wrong Magical could have spelled doom for the group, and it turned out that the Prime Minister had come within a hair's breadth of blabbing to Scrimgeour before they could start damage control at all!

"And this Fiendish Cascading Firebomb you told the Magical community of…" Liz asked leadingly.

And Harry finished "…Is a red herring. I'm hoping that in years to come it will end up known as the _'Riddle of Potter' _or something, because the idea was a masterpiece." He paused, noticing the surprisingly friendly nature their conversation had taken. "The Arithmancy and spellcrafting _look_ as though they will work. Only the person attempting to re-create my made-up device, will solve one problem only to be confronted by two more. My hope is that Dark Wizards and Witches attempting to construct a magical city destroying weapon will waste tremendous effort and energy on a hopeless cause, instead of hurting random people and making a nuisance of themselves."

The monarch mulled this over for a while. "Quite thoughtful of you now that I think on it." She commented "Not the kind of thing I would expect from the descendant of a man who you claim was made a Lord, because of his actions against-"

"Please don't mention that again…" Harry pleaded "…how do you think I felt when I found out that little family fact?" Having been interrupted more times over the last ninety minutes than in the last nineteen years, the Queen did not bother to chastise. "Well I have something to do today, so if you have any more questions…"

He trailed off "…actually, I do have one more important thing to ask you."

"Yes?" Liz enquired.

"Is that a Rolls you have parked out front?"

','

Passing through long open roads, along motorways, and eventually down narrow suburban streets, Harry was enjoying the drive. He never took enough time to enjoy the simple things, and the soft leather and smooth ride of this luxury car definitely counted as something which needed to be enjoyed.

All too soon he stepped onto the pavement of his destination on the outskirts of Oxford once again. Strolling up to Hermione's surprisingly well warded home he ratted on the door and was whisked in by his close friend Emma, who began nattering about everything that had been going on in her life since they last met up for coffee.

Eventually Hermione's father came in and was visibly perturbed by the cosy nature of the conversation, and would later explode when he found out how regularly the two met up to chat.

Turning to the imposing man, Harry stood "Ah, Mr. Granger a pleasure as always."

The friendly smile and demeanour briefly left Hermione's father with a loss for words, but he managed an eloquent "Kgah-!"

"Now I wish this was simply a social call, however there is something quite serious I must ask you and your lovely wife." Harry went on determinedly.

"What is it Harry dear?" Emma asked with concern.

Looking the man directly in the eye with resolve, the black haired teenager said "I would like your permission to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage."

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Dan Granger was slumped on the floor of his study two hours later. The place was a mess, absolute total devastation. All of his medical journals were ripped and torn, loose pages littering the carpet, which was ripped in places itself.

The snow globe his mother Mary Granger had bought him as a souvenir from her trip to the Azores was in pieces, the tinted water it had contained staining his heavy wooden desk. His rage and desperation had shredded the photographs of his beautiful family, and they too lay scattered on the around his study.

The world was over.

His baby, his beautiful little girl, was going to marry that monster. He just knew it! Nothing he could possibly say would dissuade her once his angel made up her mind. And even Emma, his traitorous better half, was going to side against him.

God alone knew what that … person … was making his little girl do at night. A boy like him would undoubtedly have her acting in ways she would think abhorrent, and making her think it was her own idea!

Dan shuddered as his overactive imagination spiralled out of control, bringing to the forefront of his mind scene after scene of depravity. 'Hermione was always such a sweet little girl' the man thought, his hands shaking.

There was only one thing he could reasonably do to stop this. There were a few niggling problems as to the logistics, but even if he were caught it would be worth it.

Dan Granger had to kill Harry Potter.

It was the only sensible course of action. Okay, so the boy was a wizard and that made things more difficult. Nevertheless witches and wizards were still human, Hermione had said so, and they could die just like anyone else. Only well, that bastard Potter had apparently survived his death once already…

Dan almost started to cry; was there anything he could do at all?

He heard someone at the front door, and then heard the front door open, and then heard Emma call "Dan can you come downstairs for a moment, Hermione has something she would like to tell us."

Dan numbly got to his feet and went downstairs, bracing himself to hear news of the apocalypse from his daughter's lips.

When Hermione informed him that she was in a same sex relationship with a girl she'd met at school, Dan physically cried for joy. The relief was just that strong.

','

"_Confundo"_ Harry shouted, thinking 'Stupid bloody police, I really need to learn Memory Charms at some point!'

Stepping out the wreckage of a Rolls Royce Silver Spirit he checked himself over and noted a few bumps and scrapes, but no lasting injuries. Being a wizard was awesome, how he ever believed Lily and James Potter could have possibly died in a car crash he'd never know. Taking a couple of moments to ensure none of the Muggles were seriously hurt, Harry then ran off to find a quiet place from which he could Apparate away safely.

Reappearing noiselessly in a small dirty alleyway in London he let out a brief sigh and loosened his aching shoulder, making his way toward the mostly refurbished Order Headquarters at Twelve Grimmauld Place. After a brief conversation with the Weasley twins, and the purchase of a small pod-like cartridge about the size of his arm, Harry was confronted by Tonks.

"I can't believe you got away with it!" The metamophmagus declared.

Tilting his head to the side Harry responded "Got away with what?"

"Setting off a _-umph-_"

"A Fiendfyre Cascade!" Harry interrupted forcefully, hand over her mouth. "You should not have been told! How did you even know?"

"Luna was questioning aunt Bellatrix and didn't notice I was in the room." Tonks admitted warily, not really liking the unaccustomedly fierce expression. "And I won't tell anyone if it's _that_ important. I was just amazed you managed to get the Queen to sign off on it."

Harry's expression brightened to his more familiar, annoyingly cheerful appearance. "I think it was Luna's assertion that the most challenging aspect of Time Travel was _grammar_, which went the furthest in convincing her."

Was Tonks rubbing up against him more than usual?

"You seriously _can_ get away with absolutely _anything_ can't you?" The surprisingly pretty twenty three year old stated in amazement.

"Anyway, school starts back up in a week so what we going to do now?" Harry asked rhetorically, moving into the sitting room and whoever was hanging around headquarters.

','

"It still hasn't worn off Harry!" Hermione chastised from her cosy position next to her girlfriend.

"Will someone please tell me why the fucking hell I'm riding the Express AGAIN!" Harry shouted. "Honestly, I'm a legal adult and Sirius has no authority over me. And I even spent last night _in the Castle_ for Merlin's sake. I had to Apparate to Kings Cross just to board the train to go back to … oh wait, the exact same friggin' Castle!"

Everybody in the compartment ignored Harry's rant with practiced ease. He made it every single time he rode on the Hogwarts Express, so it was nothing new.

"When are you going to release it then?" Tam asked.

"Release what?"

"The Morph." Tam nudged patiently "She is stuck in that crazy heterochromatic blue haired Morph Luna made up ages ago, and everyone knows it was you."

"What makes you think it was me?" Harry asked defensively.

Luna, who really had no need to be here either, snorted in amusement "She came flying out of _your_ room, completely naked and looking like that." Seeing Harry was going to protest she finished "Give it up, it was obviously you … although I am interested in what she did."

Toying with the idea of proclaiming his innocence, Harry gave it up as a bad job. "She tried to shag me."

"And you were against that happening?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well yeah. No… Yes and no." he confirmed helpfully. "I think she was doing it as a thank you or something stupid like that. If she wanted to shag me for the hell of it, then it'd be the same as if you wanted to Hermione. But as a thank you for something?" his face twisted "That's just wrong."

Hermione looked a little bit thoughtful, but Tam's eyes narrowed dangerously at him. Giving the raven haired sixteen year old a distinctly menacing red-glowy feeling, despite the fact that her eye colour remained a soft brown.

Seeing this Luna stepped in "Well Tonks has been stuck like that for a week, when _are_ you going to release her?"

"Huh?" Harry said "Oh, I'm actually quite surprised she hasn't worked it out for herself yet. I only put a moderate Confusion Curse on her, so that when she tries to morph she gets distracted. The reason Tonks' still stuck is because I _told her_ she'd be stuck until I allowed her to change."

"So it's mostly psychological?" The blonde asked in good humour.

"Yep, pretty sneaky eh?" After a while chatting about nothing, something occurred to him "Did you and Albus ever pull off Enchanting a new Sorting Hat Hermione?"

','

"Why is the new Sorting Hat singing in an unconvincing scouse accent?" Harry asked in dismay from his position slouched at Slytherin table.

"It was the best we could do." Hermione responded "The Headmaster and I successfully made five, and that was the best one."

"What about the other four?"

"Well, two of them just Sorted everybody into Hufflepuff," she replied "and one of them spoke Spanish on par with your French."

Ignoring her obvious jealousy when it came to his awe inspiring command of the French language Harry gestured for his wavy haired friend to finish, prompting "And the fifth?"

"Had something of an angry personality." Hermione answered wearily. "It upset Bellatrix and she torched it with Fiendfyre."

"Oh" was all he said, concluding that Bella probably had a good reason.

As Harry drifted off watching the Sorting, Hermione was deep in contemplation. Following the meeting a week prior with her nice, and surprisingly accepting parents, she and Tam had come to an agreement. Tam had eventually agreed not to do too much evil, promised not to ever put her under the Imperius Curse, and that she would never make Hermione do anything she really didn't want to do.

Hermione couldn't exactly shake the feeling that the redhead found her demands amusing, and was carefully repressing the emotion when the two had talked. Nevertheless she _had_ agreed, and now Hermione believed she could keep the other girl in line for the most part, by simple force of will. That she could fight whatever nefarious influence the other girl seemed to have over her.

So long as the redhead did not find herself in some kind of position of power over her, Hermione considered herself level headed enough to avoid getting too caught up in things. Providing everything at Hogwarts went on as it had been for the last week of the Summer, things should settle into a more stable pattern over the coming year. That was as long as the status quo remained the same at any rate.

"…and introducing this year's Defence Against the Dark Arts instructor; Professor Tamsyn Riddle."

"Son of a bitch!" Hermione uncharacteristically swore loudly.

','

It was late evening on the first of September. Fleur and Robért had enjoyed such a wonderful day, all kinds of excitement and fun. The two had been to new places and taken pleasure from interesting experiences.

Robért had taken her by portkey to Rome following a luxurious breakfast in her favourite restaurant in Carcassonne, and the two had spent the whole morning shopping. In the afternoon they had sat a short safety briefing and then they were up high in the sky on one of those Muggle aeroplanes, which they then proceeded to jump out of. Skydiving was certainly a new and exciting experience for the French woman.

They had been served a lavish meal accompanied by fine wine, and then gone on a starlit turn around a lake in a boat shaped like a swan. Robért had told her she was beautiful, and the two had kissed. It had been a magical time spent together, one she would no doubt remember fondly for the rest of her days.

So why in the name of Merlin was she so gods damned bored?

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	22. An Apprentice and a Wandcrafter

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter Twenty Two: An Apprentice and a Wandcrafter

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"I must say, dying is a singularly unpleasant experience My Lord." Rowena commented, flicking back a lock of her coppery hair "Although I will say that surviving the process goes a long way in making it bearable."

A few of the Death Eaters chuckled at this, as did the fop Salazar. Rowena understood the logic of having the man around, and would even admit he could inspire loyalty in his followers better than any of them, but something about wearing lilac just made her want to harm him.

While the Founders did not have any form of strict hierarchy, some of them _did_ defer to others in certain situations. Rowena being the second eldest at twenty five would tend to stand higher than Salazar, who had been created while still in England. Around the same time as Hepzibah Smith met her demise and Helga, the youngest, had been formed.

That being said, Helga stood higher than even Godric, by simple virtue of scaring the shit out of the other three Founders with her brutally straightforward attitude. Now the thought occurred to her, she decided that lilac wasn't too bad, at least Rowena knew she could take her irritating associate with ease. Lockheart had such a pathetic Core it should be considered amusing.

Rowena brought her mighty intellect back to the fore, having processed all those musings in a fraction of the time it would have taken anyone else.

"May I enquire as to what happened, Founder?" Draco asked her from his seat as Voldemort's right. Their Lord seemed content to watch silently for the time being, but it was no insult. This was Lord Malfoy's Manor house after all, and the man had repeatedly proven his usefulness. Most recently in the rescue of thirty high ranking Death Eaters as well as _her_ Founders Object, an event Draco was still visibly recovering from.

"Potter and Riddle overpowered me." Rowena admitted. "It was not due to surprise either. The two worked together seamlessly, battered down my shields and struck me with double cast Killing Curses…" following a glance down at her new, well suited Gregorovitch wand, she finished "…they are far more powerful than we anticipated."

Some of the Death Eaters muttered amongst themselves for a time. Losing the City of the Dead was a harsh blow. The numbers and recourses in that stronghold could not be easily replaced, nor could the strength be restored at all in the short term. The Fiendfyre Cascade their enemies had created, destroyed everything on the surface as though none of it were ever there. Brutal depression effects penetrated the subsoil, causing total devastation to the first twenty one Levels, and a subsurface shockwave collapsing the walls and floors everywhere down to Level forty two.

However the Necropolis was reinforced and warded as securely as anywhere on Earth, so the attack had not ended with everybody's death. Out of all of them Draco Malfoy was the sole Death Eater to regain consciousness under his own power, and despite numerous severe injuries managed to salvage what he could. Thereby increasing his legend amongst the rank and file, to heights never before reached by the previous Lord Malfoy.

"Our Plans have changed." Voldemort stated aloud for the first time. "Rowena, you are to work closely with Helga in her attempts to devise a method of replicating Potter's weapon. I however have work to accomplish alone."

Voldemort's red eyes looked down at his wand as he said this. It was something which had been frustrating their Master for many months and unless she missed her guess, Voldemort was on a quest to rectify the problem.

Their leader swept from the room and Rowena left through a different exit. She absently heard the meeting continue behind her.

"Yes Grayback," Draco presumably waved the Werewolf over "what assistance do you require to get your pack back to full strength?"

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"Avast ye naïve, scabrous cur! I do be challenging y'all to an Honour Duel, for ye nay being worthy of teaching in this ancientest Castle school." Harry said following Professor Riddle's opening comments on the first day of term.

The woman face palmed hard, and turned to her charge. "Harry, what did you promise Albus?" she asked pleadingly "What did you promise him not forty eight hours ago?"

"I don't remember." Harry replied before switching back to his pirate voice "So will ye Duel me, or do ya be a coward. Avast!"

"You don't even use the word _'Avast'_ in an appropriate way…" Tam commented in dismay "…and you **promised** NOT to be an overly disruptive influence, remember?"

"I may have, but I didn't think this counted as disruptive. Does it?"

"Yes!"

"Oh." Then Harry was quiet for a while as he scratched his head. "So you gonna fight me or what?"

"Fine!" Tam acquiesced, knowing it was probably the fastest way to shut the annoying Griffindor up. "Oh, and Ms. Granger … Detention."

"What!" Hermione squeaked in protest.

"You were charged with keeping him in line, so you get the detention." The redhead finished with a worrisome smile. "Come on then Harry, have it!"

Harry scuttled to the front of the class with visible enthusiasm, throwing up a few temporary duelling wards and fishing out his Horntail wand. They bowed and Harry instantly sub-vocalised _'Ignis-Nocens Maleficus' _shooting out a malevolent crimson torpedo.

"Son of a Bitch!" Tam screamed as she nonverbally raised an Imprimus Shield. Harry _never_ opened with instantly lethal magic, nevermind blatantly Dark Magic like Devil's Fire, so the redhead was caught totally off guard.

Five Peanut-Panthers came bounding at her, and Tam hastily constructed a Ribbon Rod which might have been used by a dancer. That is except for the fact that the emerald streamer was superheated razor wire, which butchered the predators with ease.

Tam flash boiled a trio of Ice Lances and caught a flight of poisoned darts with Luna's sticky shield before managing to regain the initiative, squeezing through the gap a time-escalating Disheartening Jinx which Harry probably didn't know the counter for. The two got into a pretty even back and forth over the next couple of minutes; palming, parrying, dodging, and countering. It was a short while later before both were cut and scorched, and Harry was trussed up in barbed wire, the apparent loser of their unexpected exhibition bout.

"Do you wish to attend the Hospital Wing Mr. Potter?" Professor Riddle asked sweetly, once she'd released him and administered the counter-jinx.

Trying to work out whether the deafness in his left ear was temporary or not, Harry just grinned "Not on your life Professor."

"And I trust there will be no further distractions." He just winked, and sat himself with the wide-eyed, disbelieving class of sixth year N.E.W.T. students.

Harry didn't expect her to thank him, but they had just demonstrated Tam's bona fides to the whole friggin' school.

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That was the thing about wands, and the sole fact non-wandmakers knew about the craft; _the wand chooses the wizard_. Voldemort knew as much, if not more about wandlore, than pretty much anyone who was not a Master Wandmaker. So he _knew_ the wand chooses the wizard with greater understanding than most.

There were ways around this of course. Not every Magical used a wand which had chosen them. The very idea was ludicrous. No, if an ally freely allowed a person to use _their_ wand, it would work in line with a Magical far better than a standard wand, and infinitely better than an unfriendly wand. It was the same with capturing; a process the Dark Lord was most familiar with. Fighting and defeating an enemy, and then taking the wand a defeated foe had been using, it was like a branch of magic unto itself.

The wand he was currently using, his favourite captured wand, had been taken in the greatest Duel of his life. Back in the mid fifties Voldemort, under the name _Drágen, _had invested considerable time and effort working his way up the chain of illegal, no limit duelling pits. Acting the prise fighter to test his skills against the best he could find.

That wand was nine and three quarter inches of Maple, containing a tail hair of Sphinx, and had been claimed on a memorable night in early February. Where _Drágen _had slain a thirty year undefeated champion, one of Voldemort's greatest and most fondly remembered moments.

Nevertheless, the wand was still captured. It had not chosen him as his old Yew and Phoenix had, so many years before. The upshot being that his magic was not at its optimal, and would _never_ be until he found a wand which suited his magic.

Over the previous months Voldemort had tried thousands, literally _thousands_ of wands, in an attempt to find one which would chose him. Each and every one they'd attempted had failed, and the wandmaker Gregorovitch maintained that his case was unprecedented.

Voldemort had pressed him, and asked if there could be constructed a Custom Wand which would work. The elderly Master had shakenly asserted, that the best any custom wand could manage would be Familiarity … which turned out to be the technical term for the _adequate_ feeling he got from the Sphinx and Maple wand he was currently using.

This being the reason for which Voldemort was climbing this windswept mountainside all alone. He concluded that what was required, were the suitable components to create a powerful wand that would choose him, and as he already had a Focus or Wandcore in mind, all he needed was a casing which would function optimally.

And to get it to work as it should, Voldemort was applying the age old concept of Trials.

Entering a darkened cave of myth and legend, the Dark Lord sought his destiny.

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"Sevie me old mate, guess which emerald eyed favourite student of yours got an 'Outstanding' in his Potions O.W.L." Harry went on happily "I'll give you a clue, he got exactly the same score as one Lily Evens back when _she_ was a fifth year."

"Potter I-" Snape began in barely restrained fury.

"Of course full credit goes to your teaching style Professor," he continued in the attempt to be as infuriating as possible "the calm and pleasant instruction really allows any student to reach his or her full potential."

The overt hatred being directed toward the dark haired sixteen year old should have been worrisome in the extreme, but was not the Hogwarts motto something about how much fun could come from poking a sleeping Dragon?

"Besides Potions is a doddle isn't it? It's just like cooking, and when in doubt add Eye of Newt." Harry asserted with wide eyed innocence. "Seriously, Eye of Newt is the answer to like _everything_ … with enough Newt Eyes a person could cure death itself!"

There was one class other than Arithmancy which Harry attended without fail, and would not ditch unless he had very good reasons for doing so. And that class was Potions.

Potions was ever so much fun.

It took Professor Snape almost half the lesson to regain his composure and begin teaching again. Harry had been channelling his inner Dumbledore, pretending that the Professor was very young, and that he was the benign grandfatherly figure Snape had been missing his whole life. He'd been doing it consistently since half way through Fourth Year, with the goal being to cause a stroke before Graduation.

As the first day was a theory lesson the class were not actually brewing anything, and eventually he noticed that his friend was not really paying attention to the concepts she'd previously read about. Seeing Hermione drifting off as she thought back to the events following last night's Feast, Harry began making wibbily flashback noises under his breath.

_Hermione was nervously clutching the note she'd received with her meal. She needn't be nervous it was only Professor Dumbledore, but then again it wasn't. She's been asked to meet with Headmaster Dumbledore alone in his Office, and that somehow seemed far more daunting. Looking the stone Gargoyle in the face Hermione took a deep breath and put aside her foolishness._

"_Acid Pops." She said, and the fractured guardian leaped aside, allowing her access to the animated staircase._

"_Come in Ms. Granger." The Headmaster called an instant before she could knock on his door. They made some small talk about the Feast and so on for a while. "You appear anxious, would you care to tell me if there is anything I can do to put you at your ease?"_

_Sucking one of the Lemon Drops Harry insisted were cursed, or laced with LSD or something, she asked the thing which had been bugging her all evening. "Why did you hire Tam as Defence Professor?" It had been so unfair, the two had come to an agreement and now her girlfriend was going to make her life a living hell!_

_Dumbledore chuckled. "I assure you, Professor Riddle is more than qualified." He said unloading a full burst of his signature eye twinkling effect. "What amuses me is Voldemort applied for that position twice, and was turned down both times, first by my predecessor and years later by myself. I can only imagine Voldemort's reaction when he learns his other self succeeded where he failed."_

_Hermione signed but did not comment, spending some time scratching Fawkes behind the wing in the way he liked. "May I ask why you wished to speak with me this evening Professor."_

"_I have a proposition for you Ms. Granger." Dumbledore answered after a long thoughtful pause._

"_My initial intension on Harry's release from Azkaban Prison, was to offer this to him following his Graduation from Hogwarts." The Headmaster admitted "However time and circumstance has forced me to move up my plans." After a while she bade him to continue. "I wish you to consider accepting an Apprenticeship under me."_

_Hermione choked hearing this. Albus Dumbledore had_never_accepted an Apprentice, thought not because of any lack of willing candidates._

"_I can see why you did not offer this to Harry." She said with wide eyes._

"_Indeed." Dumbledore agreed. "It is doubtful that Harry would accept anyone in such a position of power over him. Nevertheless, you are by no means a second choice Ms. Granger."_

"_B-but. Why me?" Hermione asked lamely._

_With a mysterious smile and a shaken head at the girl underestimating herself Dumbledore went on. "For one thing, you are one of the few I have met in all my years who possess a suitable temperament to learn some of the magic I could teach."_

Hermione had not given the Headmaster an answer at the time. Even though she already knew how she was going to respond. Professor Snape asked her a question which necessitated detailed knowledge of both Astronomy and Herbology, and she answered absently before returning to her thoughts.

Harry noticed this, and plainly enjoyed the angered look which passed across Snape's face when she failed to get caught out. Answering the needlessly difficult question with ease and offering the man nothing save a dismissive hand gesture.

Harry spent the remainder of the lesson obviously ignoring the Professor, scheming on how to trick Luna into teaching him the Sticky Shield she refused to share until _after_ the movie came out a couple years from now.

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"It is agreed." A booming voice of fire and menace echoed hollowly from the other side of a tear in the very fabric of creation.

If legend was to be believed the Old Ones found creatures on this plain of existence amusing, and in exchange for entertainment could be convinced to provide a great Boon. Assuming the reckless hero in question survived of course, the myths also warned that anyone foolish enough to try would certainly die.

"I am Lord Voldemort, send forth your challenges they mean less than nothing to me!" He intoned. Voldemort was actually enjoying this. There would be three tasks of escalating difficulty, and once he crushed all opposition, a prize of great worth.

He lived for moments like this.

Stone groaned against stone as a colossal doorway split open, fifty paces high, midnight black as pitch was all that could be seen. Voldemort stepped through without flinching, strode to the centre of an arena, and stood in silence as the gateway slammed shut.

There was a long moment where nothing happened, but after a time a lizard easily forty feet long with brown scales and thick black ridges, fell from the ceiling to land at Voldemort's feet with a shuddering crash. 'I am to slay a Norwegian Ridgeback? Pathetic.'

He raised his Maple and Sphinx wand and unleashed a potent band of serrated energy at the Dragon, but was shocked to find his magic had been bound. Voldemort took a heavy swipe from the reptile and was slammed thirty feet into the air, connecting painfully with the far wall.

'Ah, things have become far more interesting all of a sudden.' He thought in approval.

Leaping to his feet and taking a wash of dragonfire, Voldemort hopped into a strafing run alongside the enormous creature. Pausing, ducking, and even back flipping over the Ridgeback's vicious talons, the Dark Lord haltingly closed on his challenger.

Even his wandless abilities had been bound, so Voldemort had decided on a straightforward solution. He ploughed his clenched fist deep into the Dragon's vulnerable eye, tearing the lightly armoured eyelid and scooping out as much of the glutinous flesh as he could manage. The Ridgeback went wild of course, thrashing and lashing out in pain, but the Dark Lord held on even as the beast took to the air.

Working on the underside of the animal's neck he was eventually sideswiped with a claw and plummeted sixty feet to the ground, torched the whole way by yet another breath of dragonfire.

The battle lasted easily a quarter of an hour, but as was inevitable, the gigantic reptile lay unmoving at Lord Voldemort's feet. Neck shattered, dead on the floor.

Once again stone groaned against stone and the colossal doorway split open. "You are the first in many centuries to pass the opening task." The otherworldly voice boomed, and Voldemort felt his magic re-engage. "Make it out of this room to meet your final challenge."

Hundreds upon hundreds of humanoid creatures coalesced out of nowhere, each with a jackal-like skull overtopping Voldemort's seven foot frame by a head. Easing his Maple wand from its holster and bowing to the oncoming army, Voldemort began to cast.

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"You're better at pissing off Snape than James and I ever were!" Padfoot informed later that evening. "It really is a beautiful thing to watch Mr. Babbity."

"Sirius, my Marauder name is not going to be Mr. Babbity no matter how many times you say it." Harry complained.

"Mr. Bugs?"

"Better, but still no." He said, walking toward the Owlery. "Has Luna finished setting up the practice Array?"

"Yeah, it's in some unused section of the Castle." Sirius told him. "The thing is huge, do you really think you can figure it out in only two months?"

"I'd better. I'm the only one who can do it, and we don't want to wait another whole year before trying it." They two former convicts arrived at their destination and Harry set about visiting with his Owl for a while. After feeding her one of the deluxe, high quality Owl Treats and watching her stumble about trying to throw off the effects of Owl catnip, he spoke. "Do you know what I want you to do Hedwig?"

She nodded a touch blearily.

"We're voting Yes on the second motion okay. So that's a Yay, got it?" She bobbed her head and nipped him affectionately, while Harry made sure the tiny Owl Beard was firmly attached to his Familiar.

The two watched as Hedwig winged her way out of the Castle and toward the Wizengamot meeting Harry didn't feel like attending.

"Time to practice?" Sirius asked. "I wouldn't mind seeing Lils again, and Luna did say if you get it wrong…"

"…I'll die horribly." Harry finished. "Yeah, I remember."

','

Face heavily scarred and large chunk of ear missing on his left side, Voldemort stood in the room alone and victorious. He set about constructing a metallic leg which shimmered with a coppery green hue. Bodies lay everywhere, slumped over one another or in pieces, and some even imbedded into the walls.

That had been fun.

Stretching high and testing his new left leg, Voldemort made sure that his body was functioning optimally, despite any cosmetic damage. He gave up healing the slash which nearly took his eye and simply cauterised it, as he swept threateningly from the room.

While it was the same door he'd entered, the room he came to was clearly not the entranceway, nor the path back to the cave. The groaning stone marked the gateway's sealing and Voldemort came face to face by a large, ornate mirror. Full length and featuring his own reflection.

It took less than an instant to realise this was _not_ his reflection however. The figure looking back at him was uninjured and fresh, without scars and still in possession of all its limbs. Unsurprisingly the mirror form Dark Lord stepped from the glass, and the two figures locked malevolent scarlet gazes.

As he had before, he did again, and the two combatants bowed.

Voldemort noticed the pale length of his old Yew wand in the grip of this most dangerous foe, but the unleashed barrage of magic his opponent set free at that moment, distracted him from musing further on the fact.

','

Massaging her jaw and trying to work out the kinks in her neck and shoulders, Hermione stumbled her way toward the Seventh Floor. She was quite certain there were rules which prevented Professors from making their students do things like that during Detentions. There had to be! It was just wrong, an abuse of power. That's what it was.

Not that it wasn't fun at times…

Damn it!

That girl was ruining her.

She spoke the password, passed the Gargoyle, and made her way up the animated staircase. When Hermione was seated across from the Headmaster she began her well rehearsed complaint about the evil Defence Professor.

"I would like to become your Apprentice Professor Dumbledore." She said.

'_What? That isn't what I intended to say at all!'_ Hermione screamed in her head.

"Outstanding." Dumbledore responded with a wide smile. "However if you are to be my Apprentice I must insist you call me Albus as tradition dictates."

"Of course …Albus." She finished tentatively.

'_What the hell's going on?'_ Hermione racked her brain. _'Why can't I object to… oh! That sneaky bint.'_

"While there are many things I wish to share with you Hemione, I believe in the current climate, a more combative approach to magic should be our focus." Albus went on, as he proceeded to discuss some of the more logistical aspects of her instruction, while she was still a more or less _normal _student of Hogwarts.

'_Tam told me I'd neglected to sign my class work' _Hermione concluded to herself. _'She must have put a glamour on a Secrecy Scroll. _That's _why I can't talk about what happened in the Detention! Oh, I am so going to make her pay.'_

After an hour's discussion with the Headmaster, Hermione left. They would meet up for two hours each evening save Saturdays, and Albus would teach her everything she could learn. They'd signed the Apprenticeship agreement using a nasty Blood Quill, and the contract would no doubt be announced in the Prophet by tomorrow morning.

It was a momentous day, but Hermione's thoughts were solely directed toward revenge.

','

Voldemort slumped to the ground.

That had been far from easy, he decided. Fun, but far from easy.

The ever victorious Dark Lord set about crafting a metallic left arm of coppery green, then a right foot of using the same process. He healed, closed, and cauterised all his other wounds, while idly resolving _not_ to get hit with Demon's Light again anytime soon.

When finished he walked over to the mirror, now reflecting his own image, and took in the disfiguring blemishes of his face and body. He liked them strangely enough, they had been well earned this day, and Voldemort hoped he wouldn't have to go through another Rebirthing Ritual for a while.

"Champion, you have completed the Triad." The hollow voice of fire and menace declared. "What Boon do you request?"

"There was never any doubt of my triumph, for I am Lord Voldemort!" The Dark Lord stated grandly "You know the reason I am here, and what I require of you."

The mirror rippled and reviled the branch he sought. Plunging his hand through the reflection and grasping his prize, Voldemort admired the trophy as he stalked through the room's single door.

When he reached the mouth of the cave the Dark Lord found it to be midday and winced at the bright light. One of the minor annoyances which came with the enhanced body he was using, was that his eyes were painfully sensitive to intense illumination. It caused twinges he could easily deal with, and was not the kind of thing he would admit to any of his minions, so he usually ignored it. Nevertheless the irritation did not fit well amid today's triumphant disposition.

With a casual swish of his Sphinx wand, Voldemort conjured a pair of Shades he vaguely recalled seeing on a Troll, from the cover of one of his Death Eaters' magazines.

Sunglasses in place on the ridge of his noseless face, Lord Voldemort made his way down the mountainside, and back to civilisation.

','

It was Halloween and Voldemort was once again atop his Obsidian Throne. Helga and Rowena had come to a startling conclusion when commanded to research the method by which the boy had destroyed his City. It had _not_ been magic at all, but those terrifying weapons the Muggles foolishly created, in an effort to end the Mundane side of the war against Grindelwald and his Allies.

The two Founders had clearly been as appalled as Voldemort when sharing this news in private. That _any_ Magical would commit such a crime was abhorrent in the extreme, and simply confirmed in their minds that conquering such fools was the correct course of action.

Although Voldemort did idly wonder whether his Immortality would have survived, had he been in the City at the time of detonation … He probably would given that his Shade form was incorporeal, nevertheless it was not be something he would seek to confirm in the near future. Perhaps he could have one of his Death Eaters create a Horcrux at some point, and he would test it.

The Wandmaker was escorted into the room shaking Voldemort from his thoughts. If the man had completed his work on this day, Halloween, the day of such cosmic significance, then things could only bode well for his plan.

"You have accomplished your task Master Gregorovitch?" Voldemort hissed.

"Yes My Lord." The old man confirmed. He was visibly excited, eyes alight with exultant success. "I have been crafting wands for ten decades. I can say without doubt this is by far the greatest I have ever, and likely _will ever_ create." Greorovich snapped open a finely crafted wandcase, and there for all to see was a fifteen inch stick of creamy white wood resting on a bed of black satin. "This is a masterwork, to make any masterpiece jealous."

Voldemort came down from his Obsidian Throne and the pale digits of his right hand hovered above the proffered wand in hesitation. This was it, if this wand did not choose him, Voldemort knew the only avenue remaining to him was to claw back his Yew wand from the waif's cold dead fingers. Something he would do regardless of course, but for now this was his last chance.

Voldemort took the wand. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wand above his head, brought it swishing down through the still air and a stream of green and silver sparks shot from the end like a firework, pulsing again and again with a long forgotten pull last felt at age eleven, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls.

Blissful exultation lasted a long moment, and when he returned to the room Voldemort noticed the Wandmaker desperate to ask some questions.

"You wish to identify the components which I charged you to use." He stated to the man in sibilant tones.

"The heart you gave me was unusual I admit." Gregorovitch said "Yet I discovered it to be human, albeit one half again normal size."

"Correct Master Gregorovitch. It was carved from my own corpse for you to use." Voldemort agreed.

"Yes, your own … I see … fascinating." The man stared into the distance clearly lost in thought. "Conversely the wood you gave me. I have never in all my days seen the like…" He trailed off, hoping the Dark Lord would humour him.

Smiling a sinister smile Voldemort shared his knowledge with the man who had done such admirable work. Bringing up the wand for the old man to see, the Dark Lord spoke simply:

"Yggdrasill and Wizard Heartstring, Fifteen Inches."

The man choked. To have come across a _wand quality_ branch of the world tree itself…

"My Lord to stand in your way would take the Wand of Destiny, an artefact I have held in my own hands, and even then…"

"Yes?"

"Any wand, even one of legend like this," Gregorovitch gestured to his creation "any wand can be beaten."

Pale wand in hand the magic leapt from Voldemort's fingertips, it was time to begin moving once again.

The declaration was met by an almighty thunderclap.

','

The last two months had sped past at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry had been spending all of his free time practising the Array in the room they had commandeered, and a series of malicious, spiteful pranks were directed at the Defence Professor but nobody could figure out who was behind them.

Hermione had changed a little also. She seemed more focused, and her hair always had this wavy quality to it which garnered a number of jealous looks from the Castle's random assortment of girls. News of her Apprenticeship with the world renowned Albus Dumbledore had sent shockwaves throughout the Wizarding World, most notably in Britain because her Muggleborn status seemed to offend a certain cross section of society and their delicate sensibilities.

Everyone had been so busy that it was a surprise Voldemort, the Death Eaters, and the War was taking up barely any of their time. The Dark Lord's forces seemed content to take things easily after their last routing, and the loss of their main base. Laying low and licking their wounds, that was how the Prophet was playing it at least. Even if Harry, Tam, and Dumbledore all agreed the quiet was a little ominous.

So now the group found themselves back where it all began, Godric's Hollow, precisely fifteen years to the day since the Dark Lord had been defeated for the first time.

There was a thunderstorm.

Harry decided this was a good thing. He'd have to ask at some point whether what they were doing _caused_ the thunderstorm, magic itself _knew_ a thunderstorm was appropriate, or if there being a thunderstorm in progress was merely a coincidence.

The Shroud, the Stone, the Stave.

Brother cores of Phoenix Feather, and an imposing black cube six feet on each edge.

A time to live and a time to die.

Today was All Hallows' Eve.

','

Lens of Sanity  
A reviewer named Auctor gave me the surviving a Nuclear Strike explanation, it was more detailed than what I was going to write … While I gave Voldemort a MarySue Wand, it _isn't_ more powerful than the Elder Wand, it just has the capacity to become like it … Most people seem annoyed Canon!Harry isn't very clever or powerful. Conversely **I** find weak, incapable Voldemorts a bit lame. Therefore the Dark Lord in _this_ story can kill a Ridgeback with his bare hands, how badass was THAT!


	23. Necromancy for Fun and Profit

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Twenty Three: Necromancy for Fun and Profit

','

Bellatrix padded into the commandeered section of Hogwarts which contained Yellow's practice Array. Ears pointed forwards she made her way toward where Harry was resting, and settled her head in his lap. He began stroking her behind the ears in the way she liked, and Bella let out a contented growl-like purr. Unfortunately tigers cannot actually purr properly like their smaller feline cousins, but she made her best effort.

Besides it felt really good.

Harry had been practicing hard over the last two months in his attempt to Heal Lily Potter's death, and Bellatrix had no doubt all that hard work would bear fruit by tomorrow evening. It was just a shame she hadn't been able to help very much. She'd been feeling weird and nauseous at the oddest times, even though all the diagnostics she'd run on herself had told her she was in the prime of health.

"-f you didn't spend all your free time sleeping with tramps you might know what I'm talking about." Hermione attested with exasperation.

Harry cocked an eyebrow at her. "You know I've only actually had sex with four different women, right Hermione?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous, I've seen loads of different girls coming and going from your rooms at the most peculiar times." The brunette objected.

"In truth it is five not four Harry." Yellow informed him.

"Huh?" He said in confusion. "I've never so much as kissed Fleur Delacour you know."

"I know, and you never got further than over the clothes action with Daphne Greengrass before you two broke up."

"What are you two saying?" Hermione asked. "What about all those girls I've seen you with Harry?"

"It's always Luna, she uses Polyjuice all the time." Harry's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I _have_ actually slept with Trace, right Luna? … I wouldn't put it past you to spend the whole day impersonating her just to mess with me."

When Yellow just smiled mysteriously, Harry looked to conclude he was simply being paranoid. If that were the case she'd have followed up with some form of unnerving comment or other.

"Anyway, you were saying it was five not four. Who am I missing?" The raven haired man asked.

"Well Tracy and I are two." Harry nodded. "Then there was the whole incident with Cho Chang and the _Sonorus_ you put on the Prefects' Bathroom, which she totally didn't appreciate."

He smiled in remembrance, who knew the Chinese Seeker was so shy about stuff like that? "And dear Bella when she attacked me that one time after I survived my death makes four."

Bellatrix purple catlike eyes widened in sudden realisation.

"So who is the mysterious fifth girl then?" Hermione asked, for once acting the gossipy teenager.

Yellow's mischievous smile obviously started worrying Harry a little. As he turned and pinned her with a very direct green eyed stare she answered in an offhand way. "Well you remember the second time I Polyjuiced into looking like Pansy Parkinson…"

"…yeah." He confirmed warily.

"It's just that she'd made a mean spirited comment at my expense…" the blonde said "…so I decided to lace her with an Attraction Potion and point her at your rooms."

"…" Harry responded.

"You have a thing for Parkinson Harry?" Hermione asked sweetly.

"Er-, well … it's just that she's such a terrible person, that you can do all kinds of awful, unforgivable things to her…" he began "…and you don't feel the least bit bad about it afterwards."

The group were all quiet for the longest time. "Harry, do you mind if I…"

"What?" He asked when she gave him a meaningful look. "Oh …yes yes, why not."

Watching the blonde leave, Hermione asked "Has she just gone to get hair from…"

"I think so." Harry confirmed.

It wasn't much longer before Harry was back to preparing for tomorrow's Halloween showdown, leaving Bella lounging alone in the room to watch. So she got up and padded out, returning to her own quarters. When she got there she conducted a well remembered spell and noticed the light glow, a clean blue.

"Huh." She said aloud in her empty room. "Blue."

Bellatrix had never seen blue before, in all the times she'd performed that spell. Blue was good, better than green. It was. Wasn't it?

She thought for a long while. Yes, blue was good, only complicated. Bella got up and headed for the nearest floo, and aunt Walburga's old house at Grimmauld Place. She stalked confidently past a number of nervous members of the Weasel family and into the Black Library.

Twenty minutes searching found the book she was looking for, then it was back to Hogwarts, and a further hour's hunting before her target was chained to a wall. Bella double checked the book's incantation and wandmotion a final time before completing the process.

Then she checked herself again; green.

Then she checked her target; blue.

Excellent.

She performed a Memory Charm and then lay in a few subtle commands and compulsions, before going back to padding the Halls of the Castle searching for Harry again. It was almost Dinner, and Harry never ate enough unless she was there to remind him.

','

Harry Potter woke on the morning of October the thirty first 1996, with a smooth mass of straight dark hair tickling his nose. He cracked open his eyes and felt a body shift next to him, turning his head slightly he got a view of high cheekbones and blonde hair out the corner of his eye.

'Uh-oh.' He thought 'What the hell happened last night?' A surprisingly firm arse wiggled itself closer to his front and he winced. 'You did _not_ just knowingly sleep with Pansy Parkinson Harry! This is all a dream, a horrible-horrible dream.'

'Okay Harry recap. What was the last thing you remember?'

_Harry was finishing up his last evening of practice, Bella had brought him something to eat earlier and then vanished as she did sometimes. Luna had left ages ago around the same time as Hermione went for yet another of her many, many detentions, and Harry found himself giving the Practice Array a final onceover before bed._

_Luna strode in as if she owned the place, full Slytherin robes, mimicking the sixth year prefect's mannerisms flawlessly, as she was so adept at doing when using Polyjuice. He'd yanked her hair back forcefully, without preamble, and went from there._

_Harry would never forget that conversation a few years ago, where Luna had informed him different bodies reacted, enjoyed, and disliked various sensations dissimilarly. And that wearing other forms allowed her to enjoy diverse experiences she would not, under normal circumstances, find the least bit pleasant. Harry's motivation being that a different girl was a different girl, which worked in line with this attitude quite nicely. Although Luna never did go Fleur Delacour on him, for reasons which he was strangely thankful._

_When the slender Slytherin had melted into him, Harry noticed a _second _dark haired Slytherin watching him from the doorway in amusement._

"_Look Potter, I don't like you." The Pansy in his arms told him "But what happened last year was easily the best sex I've ever had!"_

"_She wanted to play," the Pansy at the door replied to his questioning look "who was I to say no?"_

"_I didn't think you were into ménages Luna?" Harry asked to the door, as the other girl basically started molesting him._

"_I'm not. But I _am _interested in how far you're liable to take things when you know it's the _real _Parkinson."_

_He shook his head "You are one twisted fuck, I'll give you that." Harry commented in approval._

Things had really gone quite off the rails after that, he remembered ambivalently. Once again he noted Luna's Polyjuice had worn off and that her strategically placed hands were definitely not helping matters any.

'You are so going to hell Harry!' He commented to himself as he fully returned to the present.

"Holding me a spear point Potter?" the total bitch in front of him commented acidly "So Griffindor of you."

'Yep, hell it is. Definitely hell!'

','

There was something indecent about how much Luna was enjoying herself when they went to get breakfast a few hours later. Parkinson had hobbled to the Hospital Wing leaning heavily against walls the whole way, the Slytherin having been muttering something about how she was unable to feel her feet on the way out.

"Explain it to me again!" Tam commanded the two as they shakily took their seats at the Hufflepuff table.

"Oh, explain what?" Harry asked tenderly from his position across from her and Hermione.

"The Runic Array," Tam insisted "and how you think it could possibly revive someone who has been dead for a decade and a half."

"Lily killed Voldemort back in '81 correct?" Luna asked.

"Right." Hermione said.

"And as far as we can tell, the method of Dark Lord dispatching she utilised, was a human sacrifice ritual twisted from some Dark Arts tome Lily had been researching." The blonde went on, drinking deeply from her large glass of orange juice.

Hermione took up the explanation. "From what has been said before, you believe that because Voldemort's Horcruxes were active, they prevented her from really dying." The brunette looked confused. "Explain that part again!"

"Having a Horcrux technically kept Voldemort alive." Harry put in, stirring a bowl of incredibly thick black coffee. "My mother's forfeit was her life, in an _'I die'_ for a _'you die'_ ritualistic trade-off. Following?"

"Barely." Tam muttered. "Go on."

"Meaning; Lily did _not_ get any benefit from _her_ Ritual…" Luna said slowly "…And should therefore still _technically_ be alive also."

"This is Edge Magic by the way. Untested, at the boundaries of what we know and believe to be possible." Harry put in, directing it toward the children patronisingly. "As long as there is still one person who has been touched by the Sacrifice, Lily should be anchored to life.

"The Runic Array," Luna said, ignoring him "the one Harry shagged out of me back when I was fourteen remember?" They all nodded "Its function turned out to untangle those two competing rituals, removing the Blood Protection Guardian running through the _defended_ person's veins. Thereby resurrecting the person who Ceremonially allowed themselves to be murdered."

"In this case my mother, Lily Potter." Harry finished triumphantly.

"And it's not going to work" the blonde attested "Harry is _obviously_ going to die horribly in the attempt."

Hermione and Tam nodded at this self evident fact. As did Harry before he stopped to think through her words.

"Shut up Luna!"

','

Petunia was in her room late afternoon on the day these witches and wizards had been waiting for. They had been leaving her alone for the most part, meals were delivered by strange little mannequin creatures, and she was occasionally visited by one person or another.

Everyone called her Petunia Evans here, and many of them had been visibly surprised she could see the ghosts as clear as day, floating though this bizarre Castle School. This place had cost Petunia her sister. It had been gradual of course, no single incident could she point to and say 'that was it, this was the day my sister and I drifted apart forever.'

She'd been a little surprised when invited to Lily's wedding, and had attended despite their increasingly rocky relationship. The service had been… Petunia let out a long sigh …filled with freaks, and lots of equally freakish behaviour. However their parents had both been killed not too long beforehand, and so she'd been present at the service with her husband…

God but Petunia _hated_ magic!

Her husband and son had been murdered by magic, and worse, from comments made Petunia wasn't certain the quote, unquote _bad_ Magicals were the ones who were ultimately to blame. Nevertheless, the boy claimed her blood could be used to cure her estranged sibling, and that death was not necessarily as permanent for witches as it was for other woman.

Dumbledore had even intimated that Harry spent a few months earlier that year dead, and had somehow gotten over it!

So Petunia was willing to sit here, in her _not cell_. Eating meals, and awaiting the day she could be useful. Working through this trashy novel, which was by far the _trashiest_ thing she'd ever read. It was even _worse_ than the first book, if that was even possible.

'**Jousting with the Jabberwock**: by Harry Potter and Rita Skeeter'

My Gods in Heaven! How anyone, even people who _believed_ in magic, could possibly accept anything which was written here, she'd never know. Petunia wasn't even completely sure what a Spear Harem _was_! Let alone why the Hermione heroine was in possession of one.

And the scene where His Grace Harry Potter was forced to team up with Gingerbeard, in order for the two to take on the Legion of the Sensual Serpent... That, that-, it had more plot holes than it had plot!

Petunia put down the recently completed book when the young woman came to fetch her. Apparently they were setting up soon, and she needed to get ready.

When the girl told her, her name was Hermione, Petunia almost changed her mind.

','

This was it, their one shot at getting it to work.

Well it was only their sole chance due to the fact that if it _didn't_ work, or Harry made a single mistake, there would be an appreciably large explosion. Worse was the fact that the longer the process went on, the more power would be built up. So if a mistake was made toward the end of the process, the appreciably large explosion may …it was conceivably possible, it might _perhaps_… level most of Southern England.

That probably wouldn't happen though, so no worries.

The Runic Array worked off the number six, the figure most significant when doing things like Daemon Raisings and so on. And in this case, a little bit of amateur Necromancy, which also worked off the number six. As could be shown by the large Hexagram sketched out back of Dumbledore Cottage, Godric's Hollow; the original site of Lily Potter's death.

The Hexagram was drawn using ground up Virgin Bone, which was one of those things that sounded a lot worse than it really was when it's said out loud. There had been a bit of a conversation a month ago with Hermione when she'd protested, and Bellatrix offer to go collect it hadn't really helped.

This was mostly due to Bella's assertion that she wouldn't get it all from the same Primary School. Nor had Harry's look of fondness helped, when she'd irritably commented on how it wasn't the kind of mistake a person made twice.

At the centre of the Hexagram was an imposing Cube of black granite, impeccably carved with six hundred and sixty six Runes on the outside, and six hundred and sixty six Runes on the inside.

This was one of the major problems which had needed to be addressed. The Accelerating Rune Flow needed to have each Rune activated at precisely six second intervals, from _inside the cube_. Unfortunately, any magic performed _inside_ would disrupt the powering surge of magic which would be delivered from _outside_ the Array.

So it was lucky that one of the people most enthusiastic in his support of this endeavour, happened to be Master of the mostly mythological Cloak of Invisibility. An artefact which, if legend spoke true, made the wearer not just Invisible, but fully and completely _concealed_ from all detection.

Harry was currently inside the Array, with a large number of Sticky Charms cast on the inside of the Cloak, concealing his magical signature and preventing any excess magic from bleeding out into the surrounding air.

He was sweating pretty heavily because there were one hundred and eleven different runes on each surface; North, South, East, West, Ceiling, and Floor. And he had to activate one of them every six seconds in an excruciatingly precise order, which necessitated a lot of running around frantically to opposite sides of the Cube. And even more fun to be had almost missing the Click Track, Luna had running on the outside so as not to miss a beat.

Practicing to ensure he got the order of activation spot on, was what Harry had been obsessively working on over the past two months.

Sounds easy?

It gets worse.

There was a very finicky _type_ of magic which needed to be fed into the Master Rune Cluster, carved onto the outside of the Array. Although luckily enough, one of Harry's close friends was in possession of a Stone whose primary function was involved in Necromantic Arts such as Inferi creation.

The Resurrection Stone present in Tam's family Ring was one of those mostly mythological artefacts like the Cloak, and the redhead just happened to also be the Stone's true Master. And luckily enough, any magic channelled through it, was just the type needed to activate that finicky Master Rune Cluster they'd been having so much trouble with.

Sounds doable?

It gets even worse.

The _quantity_ of magic of such rarefied type which needed to be fed into the Runic Array was tremendous, and needed to _all_ be produced by a single individual. Unfortunately there were no individuals currently alive who could conceivable channel enough magic for the sixty six minutes thirty six seconds required, without dying of magical exhaustion.

Yet in another totally unforeseen turn of events, _another_ of Harry's close friends was Master of yet _another_ mostly mythological artefact, which may well allow a single person to channel enough magic into Tam's Stone. Albus had, many years ago, won the allegiance of the much sought after Wand of Destiny. Meaning that in truth, Albus _may_ be capable of providing the magic necessary to pull this whole thing off successfully.

This huge well of energy which would be stored over the sixty six point six minutes, was the cause of the moderately worrisome possibility of a Southern England levelling explosion.

So the magic from Albus Dumbledore was channelled through the Deathstick and into the Resurrection Stone.

Tamsyn Riddle then took the altered magic type, and channelled it through her Phoenix Wand into the Master Rune Cluster on the outside of the Array.

Petunia Evans was hogtied in the centre of the Cube, and dripping a single drop of her valuable blood once every six seconds, onto the Rune which would be activated last.

And Harry Potter, covered by the Cloak of Invisibility, was running around inside the same Cube, activating each of the six hundred and sixty six Runes. He was doing so once every six seconds, coinciding with each blood drop, and in an insanely specific order, using a wand which was brother to the one on the outside.

He'd activated six hundred and sixty five.

Sweat pouring off him and shaking from fatigue, Harry dropped to his knees, and tiredly touched the tip of his Phoenix Wand to the final, blood splattered _'Ōþalan'_ Rune.

At the same instant a thunderbolt struck the black granite cube, and all in attendance were bathed in a thick green mist.

Something had gone wrong.

','

Harry got too his feet a little dazed. He was exhausted. Not the kind of exhaustion one got from heavy exertion, or even the kind familiar to all Magicals when they'd channelled too much magic in a single sitting. No, it was the form which creeps up on a person when they've been concentrating exclusively on one task for an extended period of time.

There was a thick soup hanging in the air, Killing Curse green. It made seeing far difficult and moving fluidly harder. While it was dispersing around Harry, it seemed to him as though it was locking everyone else in place, like flies in sap.

"Harry behind you!" Came Luna's warning, muted behind the viscous mist. She'd seen the disturbance his Cloak was making, as the location an attack was aimed at. He dodge rolled instinctively so a wisp of something sharp ruffled his Cloak instead of taking his neck. Bringing eleven inches of Holly to bear Harry heard a second warning. "You can't do magic, the Rune Wells are still glowing!"

'Bloody brilliant!' Harry declared, diving out the way of a second strike.

For the first time he got a full view of whatever monster was threatening him; five foot six and slim, with poisonous jade hair and hate filled eyes burning with an unholy orange light. And perhaps more urgent, the razor sharp scimitar held competently in the abomination's right hand.

_Swish!_

"Okay, fuck this" Harry shouted, booting the thing that was not his mother hard in the face. Magic muted beneath his Hallow, the impressive swirl of wind and fire was lost on those watching, but once drawn the Vorpal Sword was brought down with a defensive clash of metal against 'metal.'

The creature of evil and hatred hissed at him, and spoke in a tongue which pained the ears to hear.

"Bring it bitch!"

A two handed grip span his enormous blade and the two traded blows, and parries. The abomination, though slight of build was stronger than it should have been, and the two battled in earnest.

Luna's mind span through possibilities, and eventualities, she noticed the unconscious Petunia Evans lying still alive, if covered in her own blood, and the truth lanced through the layers of incomprehension. "Harry, you need to kill in it six hundred and sixty six seconds!"

Bounding away with a deep slice to the thigh, Harry responded with a dignified. "Thank you so fucking much! Care to offer any advice?"

"Sharp bit goes into your enemy." Tam said, blasé in the face of the current happenings. This type of magic was Chaotic in nature. Just because the group had believed the six hundred and sixty six seconds after completion would be a slow build, calm before the storm, didn't mean it necessarily was.

The hood of his Cloak fell down and Harry offered a two fingered salute to his irritating, totally unhelpful _brother_.

The Demonic Lily hissed again, and Harry did a low slash to her legs which was leaped, an upwards diagonal that was parried, and a horizontal slash with all his might which severed the abomination's torso from its legs.

"Wey hey! Top of the food chain!" Harry commented, lifting his Vorpal Sword overhead in a victory pose, and turning to his friends.

They looked past him concerned.

When he turned back, the two chunks were melting, and coalescing into _two_ Demonic Lily's.

"Great, just great!" He said hefting his sword again. "How long do I have left?"

"Erm-, about three hundred seconds!" Luna replied.

_Swish!_

','

"Duck!" Hermione, Luna, Bella, Sirius, Tam, and Albus all screamed from their bound position as spectators.

Harry had gotten the first Lily, but the second one had been lining up its shot. He dove behind his broad blade and the flaming crossbow bolt twanged off the sword without causing a scratch. 'Fantastic, bloody fantastic. The thing has a crossbow now!'

Harry hefted his weapon and threw it end over end toward his adversary, imbedding the long sharp point directly into its chest.

He scampered over, boot on its neck, and pulled the blade free. Right as the three Lily chunks coalesced into three, shiny new Demonic Lily's.

"How long?"

"About two minutes. Maybe a few seconds more." Luna called.

'Okay, three on one, and in less than half the time it took me to take two.' Harry considered 'Wait! One plus two, plus three, is six … if I get these three it should be over. Right?'

Broad blade takes a crossbow bolt, parry the sharp edge of number three's glaive, sidestep scimitar's thrust.

'Okay Harry, you're inside her guard.'

Slash down, take wrist off the glaive wielder, head butt little-miss scimitar. Take a black fire crossbow bolt in the shoulder, not good.

Clumsily sideswipe Mrs. Oops-where's-my-hand, and dodge roll an overhand scimitar attack.

_Swish!_

"Twenty seconds at most Harry!" Luna informed helpfully. It wasn't like he was doing anything at all strenuous here!

He couldn't try to heal of cauterise his wounds because he couldn't risk using magic. Upshot, he was limping, and wielding his Vorpal Sword with only one had.

"Fuck it!" He shouted.

Harry then began swinging, slashing, jumping, dodging and rolling, without plan or consideration. Letting his animagus powers of randomness be his guide. The handless heroine went down within the first five seconds, and he'd bisected the crossbow cutie as soon as he'd gotten close.

"Time's up Harry!" the blonde screeched, at the instant the scimitar had flown from the last enemy's grip.

"Off with her head."

_Swish!_

','

"Necromancy is hard." Harry whined as a typical wind began howling impressively. He sheathed his Vorpal Blade into the dirt, collapsed to the ground, and leaned his back up against its vertical surface.

The green misty-soup loosened with a cool swirly effect which Harry ignored, and his friends moved closer. Tam may well have backlit herself against one of the many lightning bolts and cackled 'Ultimate Power!' in an overly cheesy way, but if she did Hermione must have slapped her on the back of the head because she'd stopped abruptly.

Albus went and made sure Petunia was still alive. He presumably conducted some diagnostics and Healing, as well as forced a Blood Replenisher down her throat. Luna was waving her hands around inspecting her Array, and seemed happy with the results because she came over and flopped down next to Harry and Bellatrix.

"Well?" Sirius asked.

"How the hell am I supposed to know Padfoot? I have no idea what I'm doing either." Harry complained tiredly as Bella healed his cuts and scrapes.

A little over eleven minutes later the chunks of Demonic Lily's all melted and flowed to a single location. There were some more dramatic lights and cool sound effects, but Harry just found the whole thing annoying in a 'get on with it' kind of way.

Then standing there naked as the day she was born was a twenty one year old woman. She had very familiar green eyes, and a silky stream of auburn hair. Harry raked his eyes across the well defined curves and smooth looking expanse of bare skin, down toward-

"Harry that's your mother!" Hermione yelled, cuffing him on hard on the ear.

','

It had been a week since Halloween and Harry was kicking back at Number Twelve, waiting for the Order of the Phoenix meeting to begin. He'd been jinxed pretty thoroughly attempting to replace that prick Mad-Eye's wooden leg with a transfigured rubber chicken, and had since decided to just wait quietly until the swelling went down.

It hadn't really been the storybook mother-son reunion everybody kind of assumed it would be. And worse was that every man, woman, man trapped in a woman's body, and dog-man, had universally agreed that each and every one of those heartwarming fairytale moments were ruined by Harry himself.

They'd unanimously concurred it was Harry's fault. And each time the two were about to have some kind of big emotional connection, he'd do something to weird out the whole situation, thereby spoiling everything.

First things first; one of the opening questions an orphan asks his recently revived mother, apparently **shouldn't** be whether or not she liked his boots. Second thing he'd learned was that when a newly resurrected maternal figure walked into a room which contained her, now fully grown son, going at it hammer and tongs with one of his friends under Polyjuice…

…and that said Polyjuice was charged with the previously mentioned maternal figure's hair. It would cause a situation which could be considered quite …awkward.

Yeah.

The excuse that he had a thing for redheads hadn't really gone down too well either.

The third thing Harry had learned was that his mother was quite the emotional type, and found the _"recent"_ death of her husband the kind of thing which left her a little mopey. That was one of the things Hermione was for; dealing with the emotional stuff. So Harry found himself hiding from his mother and her little whiny episodes, regardless of Hermione's regular chastisement of those actions.

Now they were around the meeting table, Sirius, Hermione, a large assortment of the Weasley family. Mad-Eye was trading hate filled looks between Snape and Harry, while Harry was half flirting half teasing Tonks from his seat at her right. The older members of the Order were scattered around with some leaning up against the wall, and finally Albus was at the head of the table getting the meeting underway.

"…would like to re-introduce to you all; Lily Potter." The old man said grandly to a round of applause, and a slightly blushing young woman.

There were some words shared, and a few small conversations broke out thanks to this happy announcement. After a couple of minutes Tam came striding in.

"I have some news…" The redhead began, but paused at the sudden shocked looks being directed at her, and the awareness that she was unexpectedly the sole centre of attention. "…what?"

Tam's eyes found Harry, and her brother gestured with one hand from eyes to waist and back again. The redhead looked down at her hands and body, and returned to Harry in confusion.

Realisation dawned.

"I'm not wearing my glamour am I?" Tam stated. It wasn't really a question.

"G-Ginny?" Mrs. Weasley asked with a heartbreaking level of hope.

','

Harry's eyes cracked open and he found himself standing stark bollock naked, up to his knees in a large cauldron, and with a fair sized crowd looking at him…

…Erm, again.

"Bollocks!" He stated, absently noting that the potion really _did_ taste of Hot Sauce. "Since when has Molly Weasley been _that_ good with a wand?"

"Yeah…" Tam agreed. "She apologised for killing you by the way."

"Oh. Okay, that was nice of her." Harry said, glancing around the clearing and noticing Fleur wasn't present. "What day is it?"

"January 31st, exactly half a year before your birthday."

"My Unbirthday? Cool." Harry declared happily. "Have I missed anything important?"

"Yes Harry." Dumbledore put in, visibly forcing himself to look at Harry in the eyes. The guy really needed to get laid. "The war has taken several turns for the worse and-"

Harry noticed Lily had tears of relief running down her cheeks-, _'Mum, not Lily. Mum damn it!'_ He almost let out a frustrated sigh at the thought, but was interrupted by Bellatrix latching onto him. "Albus… Are our looming problems time dependent, or can they wait one more day?"

"They can wait." Luna informed him helpfully.

Bella smiled and squeezed, then two vanished with a loud crack of Apparition.

','

Lens of Sanity  
The comment about Pansy being such a terrible person you don't feel the least bit bad about doing questionable stuff too her; probably too much truth in television there :D ... I'm _very_ interested in your thoughts about the Runic Array. It used all three Hallows and I hope came across as challenging rather than a simple matter of course…


	24. Lilium Inter Spinas

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Twenty Four: Lilium Inter Spinas

','

It was a wet and windy Halloween night and Lily noticed with frustration that her husband was getting antsy at being cooped up in this small house in Godric's Hollow. She could sympathise as it happened. It had been just the three of them for weeks, and while they were safe beneath the protection offered by the Fidelius Charm, Lily still would have appreciated an opportunity to get out for a while.

They were here because a foolish psychopath had taken the words of an equally foolish Prophesy literally. And instead of going with one of the hundreds of far more sensible courses of action, had decided that two one year old children needed a good murdering before he could sleep soundly at night.

Voldemort was out to kill her family. And secretly this terrified her.

She'd crossed wands with him three times over the course of this war, which was as many as any save Dumbledore, and each time she knew it was as much luck as it was skill which had kept her alive. Voldemort was _so_ powerful Lily knew she could never hope to match him on her own, and if the worst happened she had taken some extra precautions.

James hadn't like some of the things she'd been reading, not in the least. Nevertheless, she'd done what little she could to keep her beautiful innocent son safe, and now simply hoped none of the additional safeguards would be needed.

They'd been in hiding for months, and other than the standing level of stress caused by being one of the Dark Lord's two main targets, things were pretty boring. She kept tripping up and almost saying 'Voldemort' out loud, which would be stupid in the extreme because a Taboo was confirmed on the word, and they didn't want to help narrow down this Cottage's location.

Still, Lily thought saying 'You-Know-Who' was silly, and privately agreed with James' insistence at calling the man 'Riddle,' even if infuriating a Dark Lord was probably not the most sensible idea either.

She moved over to the tall black haired man with glasses. He was making puffs of coloured smoke erupt from his wand for the amusement of their son. Harry looked so cute in his little blue pyjamas. He was laughing with open joy and trying to catch the smoke, to grab it in his tiny fist.

Lily spoke a few words and James smiled at her. He scooped up their son and handed him over, and Lily did her best to squeeze the life out of his tiny body as Harry giggled. She absently noticed James throw down his wand as he yawned tiredly, and she left to put her little boy to bed.

"No." Lily whispered. She'd felt the telltale heaviness of Anti-Apparition and Portkey wards against her skin, and knew things were about to get bad.

She heard James sprint across the hall. "Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!" He bellowed with frantic resolve.

"_Avada Kedavra" _And the unmistakable sound of the love of her life hitting the floor. Lily screamed in despair giving away her position, only the emergency portkey had failed as she knew it would.

Although Lily knew it was futile she began barricading the door with as many boxes and chairs as she could pile onto it. With a prayer to whichever god was listening, she took a deep calming breath and steadied herself for what was about to happen.

With a single lazy wave of his wand, the serpentine, barely human form of Voldemort forced his way into the room. There she stood, the child in her arms, face to face with an insane red eyed gaze of the man who would see the world burn for his own perverse amusement.

At the sight of him, Lily dropped her son into the crib behind her and threw her arms wide.

'_Give me your best shot scumbag.'_ She snarled behind the Occlumency Sev had taught her so very long ago.

"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!" Lily whined pitifully in the bastards face.

"Stand aside, you silly girl, stand aside now." Voldemort commanded.

'_Come on you prick, do it!'_ She thought, saying aloud "Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead-"

"This is my last warning-" The man hissed in his cartoonishly evil tone. Why wasn't he going for it?

"Not Harry! Please, have mercy, have mercy, Not Harry! Not Harry! Please- I'll do anything-" Lily tried again. Gods in heaven, could the man even cast a fucking Killing Curse?

"Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!" Voldemort clearly lost patients, and with a small sigh of regret, or perhaps simple hesitation, a green light flashed.

'_Catch you on the flip side motherfucker!'_

','

Lily tasted the faint twang of ozone hanging in the air, felt course grass in between her bare toes and across the soles of her feet. Silently she took a moment to enjoy the quite pleasant sensation of a dry wind caressing her bare skin.

'Huh, so there really is an afterlife.' She noted with amusement 'I own Petunia an apology.'

Her eyes cracked open to see a peculiar scene. A number of people she knew quite well, a handful of people who seemed familiar, and several people she had never met in her life. Her close friend Selene was there, crouching next to James, and Dumbledore was off to the otherside looking cosy with some teenage girl Lily didn't know, but who was sporting a very attractive haircut.

This didn't feel right.

Selene was alive she was sure of it. And there was no way Dumbledore had fallen in the last few days, was there?

James had his back up against some strange monolith, and her heart beat raced at the unrestrained lust in his eyes, before the brunette with the sexy hairstyle cuffed him across the ear causing the look to fade.

'Wait, what was that?' Lily thought 'Mother?'

"Hey Mum. Tell me honestly, what do you think of my boots?" James said confusingly, before she become aware of the woman to his left.

"Bellatrix!" Lily yelled diving to the side.

James' eyes narrowed. "I would appreciate you did not talk to my friends using that tone Lily." He said a touch harshly, squeezing Bellatrix LeStrange's hand in a comforting way.

"What the hell is going on?" Lily demanded when nobody moved at her warning. She was starting to doubt the whole being dead thing… Unless-, unless she'd been sent to a Circle of Hell or something because she did not believing in an afterlife.

"I know it's a shame to cover that body of yours, but would you like me to conjure some pants?" James said softly, and that was when she noticed that his eyes were not brown. They were green like hers.

And like her son's.

"H-Harry?"

','

It was a few hours later, the thunderstorm passed, and evening had fallen early as it did at this time of the year. Lily knew there had been a lot which happened today, and that it would catch up with her eventually. Her husband had just died and she'd sacrificed her life in order to save her one year old son. Lily was acutely aware of the mild disappointment which came from not being able to save Harry _and_ James as she'd originally intended, however the foolishly brave man had been on the wrong side.

Had she been downstairs and James in the nursery with the baby, they'd both have been fine. Lily would have still been dead of course, but the two boys in her life would have been safe, not just Harry.

Still, she appeared to be the first person in history to have survived the Killing Curse. That was something she supposed… Yeah, Lily _knew_ she should be freaking out a little, but at the same time she was also incredibly aware that the events of the last twenty four hours had not actually hit her yet. All of which went to explain the bemused enjoyment she was taking from the current happenings.

She'd freak out later. For now, things were just far, far too weird. Moreover, Lily had not yet completely thrown out the 'Hell Dimension' theory she'd come up with.

To recap on what had happened over the past couple of hours:

Dumbledore had smiled benignly and said some words about how happy he was to see her alive, and had taken his _Apprentice?_ If she'd heard correctly, taken her back to Hogwarts where the young woman had some Herbology homework to complete.

It turned out doing one's Herbology homework was important, even in situations like these.

Selene Lovegood, Dorcas Meadowes, Alice and Frank Longbottom, and Remus Lupin were all dead under various circumstances. The blonde who she'd wrongly concluded was Selene had actually turned out to be little Luna. Basically, all of her closest friends were dead too, it was not just her husband.

Lily was informed her baby Harry, had done something extremely dangerous, and blatantly impossible to reverse her death, and that she had been thought deceased for the past fifteen years. The year now being 1996, _not_ 1981 apparently …that idea was probably going to take some getting used to.

Padfoot was present. Seeing him standing there smiling, brought a perfectly reasonable burning anger and hatred directed toward Peter Pettigrew, who must have betrayed the Fidelius now she had time to think the events of earlier that day through. A single muted question to the dog animagus had confirmed her suspicions were valid.

Everyone had then cleared out, leaving her and Harry alone outside Dumbledore's old family home. Except they were _not_ alone. Harry was with one of his best friends; Bellatrix LeStrange.

This jarring assertion was one of the principle reasons Lily had not yet thrown out the Circle of Hell explanation. She could conceive of no possible way her son could stand the presence of that insane sadist, while still able to talk so amicably with Dumbledore.

"I've made this specifically for you." Her newly teenage son told her, handing over a small bracelet. "I had Albus add a secondary portkey to Hogwarts for emergencies, but mainly this is the method we use to board my home."

"_Board_ your home?" Lily asked in her state of semi-permanent incomprehension.

"Caravel Caerbannog," he said, looking into her with her own emerald eyes "the bracelet is a fifty mile portkey to my airship's atrium."

"Oh, that makes sense." It really didn't. The three whispered _Caerbannog_ to their wrists regardless.

','

Harry looked over at the auburn haired woman ambivalently. Yes, he knew that some people had an aversion to pretty innocent Bella, but to have the first thing come out of the woman's mouth be a harsh tone directed at her, kind of put Harry off a little. Besides Lily Potter was giving him a weird vibe he'd yet to fully pin down.

For simplicities sake he waved Bellatrix off to go about her own thing leaving the two alone.

"Would you like me to show you to your room?" Harry asked his mother gently.

She'd been a little nervous with the malevolent points of red light glowing at the group from the walls, the floor to ceiling woosh of air, and the port to starboard curtain of light. Atrium countermeasures; had the ship recognised them as a threat they'd have been met with a markedly less friendly, and far more lethal welcome.

"Yes please." Lily replied. "I think I would like to clean up. Maybe take a shower or rest for a while." Walking out the door she bemusedly enquired "Your home is an airship?"

"Yeah, an exact replica of the Hindenburg, it's awesome!" Harry smiled widely with enthusiasm "I managed to scam it out of the Wizengamot at the start of this year."

They passed down two spiral staircases and across the rope bridge before Lily spoke again. "Rope bridge?"

"Bottomless Pit. Well, _effectively_ bottomless anyway." He replied "I tried to get molten lava but the bridge kept burning down." They swept across several more corridors "The main room and the flight deck are that way," he pointed "If you get lost try to head for one of those. Or you can ask the picture of the Satyr banging one of his Wood Nymphs. He's one of the more helpful pieces of artwork, and is usually hanging around by the library."

"Library?" she said and noted the door in question's label "Naked Granger? Sex Magic?"

Harry just nodded and gave a friendly wave to the tapestry of a Troll enthusiastically waling on a regiment of Frenchmen. "It's probably best you avoid the Swamp for the most part, but this is the fastest way to your room and you can explore later at your leisure."

"Swamp?" Lily asked with increasingly wide eyes. The two began wading through the sludgy knee-deep wetlands, trying to keep to high ground.

"Yeah, the Weasley twins are selling them. They're thinking about opening a store after they graduate and are trying to make some extra cash." Harry said distractedly, tracking the snake warily.

_§Have you seen your Master Nagini?§_ Harry hissed politely, and was greeted with a typical flow of filth from the serpent. He didn't even know why he bothered.

"You are a Parselmouth Harry?" Lily asked with interest while sinking a little into the Swamp. "What is your snake saying?"

"It is using language which cannot be repeated in polite conversation, as usual." He commented absently with a scowl "And she's not mine, she's Tam's."

"Oh." Lily commented, beginning to take these things in stride.

"Come on, we're almost there."

They made it through the Swamp and cleaned each other off. Once they made their way into a huge open space easily capable of housing a jumbo jet, Lily spoke again. "That's a pretty big skull. What is it, Dragon?" she guessed.

"Basilisk" Harry grinned. "Tam sicked it on me back when I was twelve and I had to stab it with a sword, it was classic. If you want to read about it see my published words."

The infectious grin and slightly sarcastic tone made Lily smile a little at the obvious make believe. "What's it doing here?"

"Oh, Tam sold most of the carcass to raise the money for improvements to Caerbannog, but kept the Skull and a few other things because they were dead useful." Harry went on, happy to talk about one of his favourite subjects. "The head of a sixty eight foot magical snake was just too good to pass up. So we carved the crap out of it and turned it into the airship's Primary Rune Reservoir. I think of it like a big magical battery, or maybe capacitor is a better analogy."

That made sense, magically expanding this much space, and maintaining all the effects would take tremendous stores of Thaumic Energy. Although Lily seemed suddenly less certain about whether or not he'd killed a Basilisk at age twelve.

Side by side mother and son moved through the cavernous room, and along a sweeping promenade which offered a wide view out one side of the Zeppelin. After a time the two came across a familiar head of crimson hair and Lily became visibly more worried. "This is the Tam girl you were telling me about?" She whispered.

"Huh?" Harry responded intelligently looking at his brother. He'd started to really enjoy thinking of her in that way for whatever reason.

"Aren't you going to say something?" His mother asked in concern.

"If you think I should," Harry replied negligently "I'm sure she has a good reason."

Hearing a shuffling approach Tam flipped around and attempted to shield the three corpses she'd been dragging with her own body. "I can explain!" She exploded immediately.

"Relax, Hermione is back at Hogwarts." Harry said soothingly. "What's going on?"

"Thank Merlin for that!" She said in relief. "And I am creating our very own Inferi Horde." Tam intimated proudly.

"Is there a reason we want an Inferi Horde?" Harry asked as neutrally as he could.

"Well after Hermione shot down your Rancor idea, and Luna's suggestion to fill a pool with mutated sea bass, I thought a Horde of the Inferius would be pretty useful." Tam stated as if it was obvious. "Besides, this Stone is _friggin'_ awesome! You have no idea how expensive and time consuming Inferi creation is without Necro Wards. Yet with the Resurrection Stone we can have a fully mobile army of the undead with ease."

"That makes sense." Harry said nodding, completely missing his mother's look of horror. "And I never really gave up on the Rancor idea… The Cerberus Fleur and I used to escape the City of the Dead is _named_ Rancor, and it's housed below an unused room with a trapdoor."

"Nice." Tam said in approval, before proceeding to drag the three dead bodies away.

It wasn't much longer before the two were outside the door to Lily's room. "It's a little bare," Harry confessed "you'll have to decorate it yourself, but there is a shower and a bed and stuff. I'll make sure some clothes find their way to you so you don't have to rely on garments from the tip of your wand."

Lily had been a touch weirded out since the run in with Tam, and as such was not overly talkative for the last few minutes. "May I ask where you found my wand?"

"Potter Family Vault." Harry replied carefully "What was left after you and James died was all thrown in there."

"Willow, ten and one quarter inches, swishy" Lily tried for a smile.

Harry knew it was all starting to hit her, but he was a neglected orphan, even the little hug she gave him was incredibly uncomfortable.

"Good night" he began, then forced himself "…mum?"

','

"That woman is weird!" Luna said tactlessly two days later. "Is it just me or does she give off a kind of…" the blonde hesitated "…_ninja-ish_ vibe?"

Harry gestured with an overflowing glass of firewhiskey. "She made a comment about Pirates being stupid."

Luna winced.

"That sucks."

"Yeah."

"I can't believe your own mother is a ninja." She went on needlessly "That's just wrong."

"Pirates aren't stupid," Harry went on, clearly more than a little drunk "_ninjas_ are stupid!"

Luna took the proffered glass and enjoyed a deep drink of the burning liquid, joining her friend in mournful silence. After a time she spoke her mind "Lily still crying at odd times?"

"Sirius is with her." He answered. "Either he's grieving for the loss of all his friends alongside her, or he's going for the whole _'comforting the widow' _angle."

"And you don't really mind?" Luna asked genuinely interested.

"Nar, it was the first thing I thought of too." Harry admitted "Although I'll probably have to give him an arse kicking on principle if that's the case."

The two settled into a companionable conversation for a while, with Luna rebuffing his attempts to have her teach the Sticky Shield, and eventually going off into a long bout of swearing in Chinese when Harry refused to leave it alone.

"You know, I'm aware you have this thing for redheads, with the amount of Sue Bones and Tam Riddle we've got stockpiled." Luna commented in her old dreamy tone. The mannerism alone was enough to snap Harry to full attention. "I can think of a good way to take out some frustrations on that ninja mother of yours."

Harry swayed a little drunkenly as his mind raced through this suggestion. "First a ménage with Parkinson now this? You really are a deviant freak!"

"That I am!" Luna agreed happily downing the last of her glass.

Forty minutes later the door banged open and the _real_ Lily Potter came into the room. Harry looked between the two girls and when he saw the triumphant look of amusement in Luna's jade eyed gaze, he knew he'd been had.

'Bitch set me up!' Harry thought, mind spinning out what must have happened. Luna had been trying to win back the Crown ever since he'd successfully killed a Jabberwock using his Bunny Rabbit animagus form. It was obvious now that the whole Parkinson thing was a ploy. 'Okay Potter, what are your options? Make some excuse; Vito, not gonna work … and _worse_, it's what Luna wants you to do.

Pretend to be a deviant freak?

Well Potter you've just been caught jackknifing your Polyjuiced mother, there won't be much _pretending_ involved! Nonetheless fuck Luna and her eye twinkling, you can't just give up the _'most chaotic person in the room'_ Title that easily.'

"Hey Lils, either join in or leave us too it," Harry somehow managed, knowing that Hell probably wasn't as bad as everybody made it out to be "we're kind of in the middle of something here."

His mother left looking a little, well a lot, shell shocked.

"Wow Harry, you really are hardcore!" Luna commented after she processed what had just occurred.

"I'm totally going to make you pay!" He declared.

"Feel free to give mummy everything you've got."

'That was so very wrong, in all of the worst kind of ways!'

','

"Well good afternoon Professor, such a wonderful day do you not think?" Harry asked cheerfully walking into Potions.

"Sit down. Do not speak. Get on with your work." Snape spat out. He'd taken to ignoring Harry as much as possible since his most hated student had begun the N.E.W.T. class. Unsuccessfully attempting to ignore him anyway.

Harry set about brewing a derivative of Dreamless Sleep Potion which was today's task, occasionally smiling cheerfully at the Professor and acting as though the intermittent hate filled glares were amusing. Around a quarter of an hour through the second period, Harry downed a swirling green potion which tasted faintly of mint, and casually transfigured his robes.

With a flick of his silky auburn hair and a battering of his big emerald eyes Harry raised his hand. "Sev," he began sweetly "could you please tell me why we must add willowbark shavings _after_ stirring counter-clockwise fourteen times?"

Hermione saw what Harry was doing and choked loudly. She never did admit it was funny though. Hermione was well aware Polyjuice didn't work if the subject was dead, meaning Harry was not-so-subtly pointing something out to the Potions Master, in an unbelievably cruel way.

The man _literally_ fell out his chair, and crawling back up to his desk he croaked out "Lily?" even though Snape must have known on some level that it wasn't actually her.

"You know Sev I've never told you this, but before I went into hiding I tracked you down and well…" Harry/Lily hesitated, sucking in her lip prettily "…I Obliviated you afterwards. But the truth is that Harry is actually your son."

For reasons Harry was not completely certain of, Snape was still angry with him when the Order meeting rolled around later that night.

"And you're saying that large parts of the Dungeons have melted stone and obvious signs spell damage?" Tonks reiterated from her seat next to him.

"You should have seen his face," Harry agreed with a playful wink "it was classic."

"Man I always hated that guy!" the metamorphmagus said kind of loudly given that Snape was in the room "I had to self study for my Potion N.E.W.T. because of his terrible teaching. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to become an Auror."

Hermione nudged him to be quiet when his mother walked into the room with an unsure look and a small wave. He heard Albus finish "…would like to re-introduce to you all; Lily Potter."

','

Tam took a dull smash of yellow light to the shoulder and clumsily rolled behind the table, when a steadily held wand came into her peripheral vision. A wave of power crashed over her and the enraged Weasley matriarch fell still, signifying the fighting to be over.

She prodded herself in the shoulder and decided that it was deep bruising and nothing more. Tam saw the black cords painfully holding the woman in the air with arms firmly tied behind her back, and gagging her mouth closed tightly. She then turned to see who it had been that casted such powerful magic.

"Hermione?" Tam asked incredulously, seeing her girlfriend holding her wand in on the older woman with a look of determination.

The redhead went over to inspect the bindings, noted a quartet of what looked like jet black ward stones holding the ribbons, and after running a few diagnostics rounded on Dumbledore in anger. "What the hell do you think you're doing? What are you teaching Hermione in those lessons of yours?" She spat.

Albus had been effectively taken out of the fight quite early, dazed as he was by a chair solidly impacting the back of his head. But now he was ensuring nobody had been hurt during Molly's fairly reasonable reaction to the current circumstances.

"He has been teaching me powerful magic." Hermione answered for the Master of her Apprenticeship.

"Those are a variant of the Shackles of Mourning!" Tam stated as he moved toward the brunette. "Even I would be a bit shirty about throwing magic that Dark around without good cause."

Tam ignored her protestations as she set about pealing back her eyelids, checking her fingernails, and searching for any indication of Dark Arts Dependency. Hermione saw a look of genuine concern and so tempered her initial response. "Albus is not teaching me Dark Magic…" Hermione whispered softly "...I simply used a high level holding he taught me, because Mrs. Weasley needed to be restrained."

"U-huh," She said dubiously "if it is not Dark, what was it then?"

"Heaven's Binding" Hermione informed "Not in the least bit Dark. Albus is teaching me Combative _White_ Magic."

"Don't be ridiculous," Tam countered "there is no such thing!" She hesitated "…is there?"

"I wish you could learn it, but everything is covered by the Interdict of Merlin. And I am sorry to say you do not have the right temperament." The brunette finished apologetically.

There was a horrified scream interrupting the conversation, and everyone who was still conscious turned to the scene of Lily standing over her downed son. The two moved over and Tam physically checked Harry's neck. "Yep, he's dead." She informed dispassionately while Hermione callously nudged the corpse with her toe.

"Huh." Hermione uttered to herself. It was strange how little the sight bothered her. "Did anyone get hurt?"

"MY ONLY SON IS DEAD YOU STUPID GIRL!" Lily shouted in her face, looking heartbroken.

Hermione raised an eyebrow but Tam ignored whatever she was about to say in retort, in favour of speaking with the trussed woman.

"While I am sorry for your loss, I must say murdering the one person who tried hardest to save your little girl, does not seem to be an appropriate response…" noting the woman's look fade Tam went on "…I will neglect informing Bellatrix of who was responsible, but I suggest you think about what you have done. And next time listen to the full explanation before resorting to violence..." Identical brown eyes locked, and when the older woman capitulated Tam finished "...I hope you will come to understand, but if nothing else be aware Lucius Malfoy suffered a fate worse than death for what he did to your daughter."

"Miss Riddle…" a hopeful voice drifted across the damaged room "…there is an outside chance you had heal him?"

The redhead paused in thought looking over the frazzled Mrs. Potter "Halloween was last week, and his birthday is a little under nine months away. I think the best day to do it will be the end of January."

"Harry is going to be fine Lils." Sirius pitched in, once more fully awake. "Come on, I think this meeting is over and we both need a drink."

Tam may have noticed him throw an unseen Stunner during the mêlée. So his stepping on Snape's unconscious form on the way out was almost certainly intentional.

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"Oh what's the point?" Luna asked in exasperation from her lounging position on the Headmaster's Office floor six days later. The blonde woman had been brushing a white tiger's fur contentedly for a long while, before voicing her single obvious concern.

"What is the point of making plans to combat the influence of Lord Voldemort?" Hermione asked sarcastically.

"Yeah."

The people in the room looked at one another, and back to the blonde strangely.

"You people still don't get it do you?" Luna asked shaking her head. "We cannot win against Voldemort!"

"Don't be ridiculous. The Dark Lord may be powerful, but he's not invincible. Should we get wind of his goals and short term objectives, we can devise a course of action which will mitigate the effects." Hermione stated, with Lily nodding along in agreement.

"No." Luna retorted "We can't." She sighed and looked into the distance for a long while. "Whatever we do, even if we try to do something totally random, or if Voldemort makes a mistake and we save a bunch of people or something. It won't matter. None of it will. Each and every action we make, we decide on, and even the successes we have, will ALL be part of the Dark Lord's plans.

What we do, might do, or plan to do, will _all_ be taken into account. So that regardless of the outcome _he wins_, and the best we can hope for is small temporary victories. Ones which _still_ further his eventual goals."

"You cannot possibly know all that." Lily stated with a frown. She'd beaten the piss out of Voldemort once already after all!

"_Tsaow nee shoo shoo!_ … Why do you think I resorted to _fucking_ time travel in the first place?"

Hearing these words spoken with such bleak sincerity everyone in the room started shuffling, refusing to meet each other's eyes.

','

Harry was deep in troubled thought on the first of February, seated uncomfortably in the main room of his airship. He'd been given a long run down on what had happened over the past three months, and it wasn't a pretty picture.

The Goblins had fully sided with Voldemort when he'd managed to convince the Nation that Harry had been crafting Valyrian Steel. A claim which, while completely true, was _not_ something the Dark Lord could prove. Meaning he must have lied!

Lily kept hugging him as well. Harry was getting used to that, but still it was weird. His mother had been very relieved to see him alive again, and Harry couldn't bring himself to be callous enough to make her stop. He wouldn't admit this sensitiveness aloud though. Besides, she was far easier to deal with now she'd had some time to come to terms with all the things that had happened over the past fifteen years.

More on the war front was bad however. The Werewolves were massing in France under Grayback's banner and they had no viable means to combat an army of those guys effectively. Surprisingly Hermione had managed to kill the Salazar Founder, meaning Lockheart's body was dead. Although few people knew this because he was up and about looking exactly the same the next day; some form of Dark Polyjuice variant which was presumably permanent.

Worse was the fact that the British Ministry was now headed by Minister Amelia Bones, aka Helga, and her Undersecretary Susan, aka Rowena. So the D.M.L.E. as well as the official Magical government was in the hands of Voldemort too. Scrimgeour and several of the escaped Aurors had set up shop at Hogwarts, which the Dark Lord was rightfully hesitant to attack.

All of this of course paled in comparison to the _important_ piece of news, so many orders of magnitude _more_ terrible, and _more_ concerning than all of those things added together. Harry broke his long thoughtful silence and just voiced the one question whose answer he couldn't fully grasp:

"What do you mean Fleur is getting married?"

','

Lens of Sanity  
Lily woke in a "bad future" after sacrificing her life, where her husband and most of her friends are dead? Yeah, she'd be an emotional basket case. Therefore time-skip because I didn't want the story to lose its mostly light hearted feel.


	25. Wedding Crashers

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter Twenty Five: Wedding Crashers

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It was Christmas Day and Lily was in a strange mood. She'd worked through a lot of the things that had happened recently, and was bolstered by everyone's confidence that Harry would be fine. She wouldn't really believe it until she saw her son with her own eyes, happy and alive, but for now she was quite content.

Still, it was Christmas and it would have been nice if he were with them. Bellatrix Black had dropped off several gifts Harry had seemingly bought people before he'd died, and Lily found the thoughtfulness of her son unexpected. He'd gotten her a lily shaped broach which was surprisingly stylish, but it was the Magic Carpet he'd appropriated for the Hermione girl and young version of the Dark Lord; Tam Riddle.

Yeah, some things had been easier to accept than others, and that little doozey had blindsided Lily worse than the whole Bellatrix Black situation. Or that Dumbledore was perfectly satisfied to have Frank and Alice's principle assailant walking around as 'part of the team' so to speak.

Luna Lovegood was reclining in the sitting room of Grimmauld Place, reading the subscription of _Pumpkin Kin_ her father had gifted her with, and Lily had to shake her head and ask. "I don't get it."

"Mm?" Luna asked distractedly "What don't you get?"

"Harry." She went on "All the conflicting stories, and the things you all have told me about him." She closed her distinctive green eyes. "You know, I read a newspaper article in a back issue of the Prophet. It had a detailed timeline of Harry during the War with Grindelwald, and his on again off again relationship with the Dark Feuer's chief enforcer; Christiana Raven. And the people writing it seemed to think it made sense!"

The blonde laughed "Yeah, I remember reading that. It was all the press running away with some offhand comment about how terrible the Ministry coffee he'd been offered was…" Luna paused introspectively "That, or Harry accidentally did some time travel at some point, and Obliviated himself afterwards. Or maybe, he hasn't gone back in time yet, so it _will_ happen sometime in the future/past … We shouldn't rule that out either."

The slight headache caused by processing this claim, acted as a reminder of who exactly Lily was talking too. Because that really _was_ how Luna, and apparently Harry thought about the world. The kind of open-mindedness which did _not_ automatically discount possible future time travelling.

"Well okay," Lily began "and that's kind of the point I'm having trouble with … You all agree that he's kind of a callous bastard, who practices Unforgivable Curses on Baby Panda's, and has no compunctions against cutting off the sitting Minister's hand then hiding it under a Fidelius in the Ministry he could only cast because he was a member of the Wizengamot…"

Noting Lily had trailed off, Luna prompted "Right…"

"At the same time he has the foresight to buy two of his friends a Magic Carpet, _months_ in advance, for no other reason than he knows those two are rubbish on a broom."

"Maybe he was hoping they would use it for sex, and has Monitoring Charms on it so he can watch?" Luna suggested.

"I'm talking to the wrong person here aren't I?" Lily said in dismay.

Hermione saw her plight and moved to sit near her. "You are having problems with how Harry doesn't seem to have any restraining influences and acts as though he can do anything he wants?"

Lily nodded to the slightly younger girl. That was _exactly_ what all the stories she'd heard about him seemed to indicate.

"I can only give you my opinion." Hermione began after a sigh. "When you were young, you had parents and people you could go to with problems. Or if you needed help or advice, or protection or something, someone was always there for you?" Hermione asked rhetorically. Lily nodded "And when you went to school, you had teachers who would answer questions if you didn't understand. And if things went dangerous you would go to a parent or a teacher or the Police or Aurors. And _someone_ would make it all better?"

"Yes." Lily agreed in a small voice.

"Harry has never had that." Hermione informed sadly. "He has never had anyone over him who he could go to. If ever anything went sideways, the only person who could make things right was Harry."

"Surely there was…" Harry's mother trailed off thinking about some of the Pensieve memories she'd seen.

"He saved me from a Troll when I was twelve, and killed someone being possessed by Voldemort at eleven." The brunette gave a short answer. "In my opinion, what happened when the Ministry threw him in Azkaban, was that Harry realised a stark truth about his life…

He has nothing to fear from the government or _any_ authority, because they will praise or punish him at their own whims, without considering any of his actual actions. He gets no benefit from the system like most of us who follow laws, and no fear of imprisonment or penalisation because they will do as they will _regardless_ of his actions."

"And now the Wizarding World needs him to stop Voldemort…" Lily began to understand.

"You've seen how he's talked about in the Prophet?" Luna asked.

"It makes more sense when you put it like that." Lily laughed a little. "I got the impression the Prophet's _'Harry Potter,'_ was like Godzilla or something. A monster you unleash against another monster, hoping that the collateral damage caused does not outweigh the benefits of being safe once it's all over."

"Sounds about right." Luna agreed with a smile.

The Ministry had fallen just a few days ago, and Hermione even managed to get the Founder Salazar. The Master and Apprentice had teamed up to fight Voldemort himself in the Atrium, not to win but to buy time for the Scrimgeour and his men to evacuate. They'd pretty much stalemated if not outright lost, and Hermione had been hurt. But no lasting harm was done to any of the three combatants.

"How _are_ you feeling Hermione?" Lily asked after a time, thinking back to the Death Eater whose head she'd exploded in the same battle with Salazar.

"Oh, I'm fine…" the brunette in question replied, unconsciously testing her shoulder "…I just count it lucky Albus and I were in the Ministry at the same time as you, otherwise Merlin knows what might have happened."

"Yeah," The auburn haired woman said. "Happy Christmas by the way."

"You too," Hermione replied moving back to her girlfriend's lap "and try not to worry too much, Nagini and Hedwig are competing to see who can kidnap a Death Eater the fastest. Harry is going to be fine!"

Lily took a deep breath and gave the retreating young woman a hopeful smile. Then she decided to go wish Petunia seasons greeting, saying as Lily had not spoken to her sister since giving her a beating and throwing her down a flight of stairs.

','

It was late Christmas evening and Gerard Delacour was finishing his preparations for today's state dinner. Things had not been going well with young Robért, and Monsieur Delacour had finally given up on him. Cutting the man loose was a shame because he was a decent sort with exceptional familial connections, well suited to his eldest daughter.

The two simply did not mesh as well as they once had, and the reason for this was fairly obvious. The damn English boy he hated with such a passion. Sweat Fleur had not said anything positive about him since the last time Potter had kidnapped her, but then again she no longer spent much effort waxing poetic on how much she hated him.

This was taken as a bad sign. A very bad sign.

He put the finishing touches to his garb, sat behind his large ornate desk, and once more read the messages he'd intercepted. The first a single line and some bare formality coming into Châteaux Delacour:

'_You are cordially invited to my mother's re-birthday party on the 31st of October  
Sincerely – HJP'_

The second, also a single line, though more carefully worded so as to be in a neutral tone, and sent _from_ Châteaux Delacour:

'_Is Harry staying dead this time?  
Signed – Fleur'_

Gerard could have allowed himself to be complacent with these less than heartfelt missives, however for whatever reason he was not. He had the unnerving suspicion some form of passive, sympathetic magic was taking place. They type which nudges two people together over time, in the way that a person being rescued from a Dragon or something would unerringly end up married to rescuer, regardless of any apparent incompatibility on the surface.

And if that was the case, there was only one way he knew which would save his daughter from the misbegotten son of a goat he feared Fleur was so infatuated with. With a sigh Gerard Delacour left his rooms and went to the party and his guests.

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Fleur was enraged seeing the boy with grey streaked blonde hair stride into the room like he had any right to be there at all. She put aside her wine and made a beeline directly for her father. "Papa, what is he doing here?" She demanded in her native tongue.

"He is an honoured guest from an Ancient Noble line, and has deep connections both in England as well as here in France." Her father responded in his usual composed tones.

Fleur's bright blue eyes flashed, then narrowed before she spoke in a slow whisper. "I have been on the wrong side of several Killing Curses, fired from the boy Malfoy's own wand. Having him here is unconscionable!" This was her secondary concern of course, but the primary one was not something she could voice in her father's presence.

The elder Delacour made some noise about how this was a political matter, and that she could not embarrass the family. Eventually Fleur acquiesced, albeit incredibly grudgingly, and set her formidable mind toward some polite sounding comments which would cut the pathetic English dog to the bone. Fleur vaguely remembered a story whereby Druella Rosier had a longstanding arrangement with Abraxis Malfoy many years ago, thereby making this young Draco's parents brother and sister.

Perhaps she could work that story in somehow…

When the foolish child made his way too her and her father, Fleur accepted a second glass of the Merlot, and hid her disdain as best she could when shaking hands. She took a sip during the inane greetings and had to confess the wine was astounding full bodied and sweet. And had she been paying closer attention, gave her a hinted remembrance of holly and owl feathers.

With a harsh comment on the tip of her tongue, the young man began an admittedly amusing anecdote, and the two fell into an uneasy rapport. She was not really enjoying herself, but she could hold courteous conversation so long as it did not drag on too long.

','

It was early January and Hermione was heading toward the Room of Requirement idly feeling sorry for all those other girls whose lovers _aren't _Parselmouths. When she came across the ballet dancing Trolls she found the Room wasn't in use, so moved three times across the bare wall to open an appropriate area. The Room was bare and a plinth was off to the side, which Hermione confidently approached. She hefted down the Pensieve Harry and Tam stole from the City of the Dead and emptied the necessary memories into the Runic Bowl.

Albus would be along soon and the two would go through last month's Duel at the Ministry, searching for things she might improve on. As she had nothing else to do right that moment, Hermione decided to have a look first, in the hopes she might spot some things on her own.

There was a familiar sense of falling and Hermione found herself standing in no man's land between Voldemort and Albus, with the other her off to one side. Hermione walked over to the Dark Lord and once again noticed the iridescent green hue of Voldemort's left hand, as well as the scars on his face which hadn't been there in any of the other memories she'd seen. He had obviously been in some fight recently none of their side knew about, and for the Dark Lord to suffer that kind of damage, it must have been an intense one.

Hermione watched the amazing casting speed Voldemort could call upon, there were probably around fifteen or even twenty spells jumping from his pale wand every thirty seconds. She watched as Albus conjured solid shields, and magical walls snapped into being as he weathered the storm. Albus always told her to be graceful in her movements and she tried very hard to do so, but watching the Headmaster in action made Hermione doubtful she'd ever approach such elegance of motion.

Then there was the moment her Pensieve self caught the Dark Lord in a Heaven's Binding … Hmm, she _had_ timed that well now that she saw it again. The black ribbons wrapping wand arm and right leg for a few moments, earning Albus a chance to land several spells she still didn't know.

The memory dimmed as she was hit in the shoulder and when it swam back, the Atrium was thoroughly damaged, with the Fountain of Magical Brethren in pieces. She watched as Memory Hermione unloaded an _Impactus_ on her enemies flank, and team up with Albus again as they had practiced. Her other self fell into the simple spell-string of two shields and one _Flagrante_ Curse, as the two backed out toward the floo.

"I for one think you did very well Hermione." Albus said from her side as the memory reset and began playing again from the beginning. "Care to share any conclusions?"

"I am quite confident the nonverbal shielding I was offering you was not noticed by Voldemort…" Hermione began, gesturing to her other self's subtle casting off to the side of the main Duel "…however once I engaged directly, my footwork suffered greatly."

"Connecting with the Holding Spell was impressive, even if it cost you positioning…" Albus gestured as Pensieve Hermione slipped the Binding through "…Yet I agree, you seemed to become flustered once more of Voldemort's attention was on you." He must have noticed Hermione lose a measure of confidence because he went on "It is something which can be remedied with nothing save time and experience." When the memory rolled around to the withdrawal Albus finished "You conserved movement well here Hermione."

"It was only three spells, and I have practiced that String more than any other." She admitted as the two people of memory reached the floo, then Hermione and Albus were gently ejected from the Pensieve.

"Nevertheless, few are willing to fight Voldemort at all, and here the two of us are, alive and having accomplished our objective to buy time for our allies to escape." They went on to critique the rest of the battle for the next few minutes, before they got on with today's lesson.

It was strange, White magic like she was being taught was not like anything she had ever experienced. It was abundantly clear _why_ so few people were capable of learning it. Magic itself was neither good nor evil, Albus had taught her during their first lesson. However the mages who had crafted these spells had not really believed that, and so had created battlefield magic of a most peculiar type.

And my but some of the spells were powerful.

The main problem with the things which couldn't really be called _Curses_, was a concept titled Judgement. That was how it had been described to her, and that was also how it felt when she cast them. Hermione had to know in her bones, feel deep within her very being, that the target _needed_ to be destroyed. She had to know for certain the world would be a far better place _without_ her enemy in it. And if the caster tried to use the White magic for a purpose he or she did not truly know to be Just, it would destroy _them_ completely, _not_ the intended target.

Albus had said there were a number of spells he knew, and was capable of casting in his younger years, but dare not any longer for fear of his own ill intent. One of those being the terrifyingly strong _Hex_ Hermione was learning today.

It took her more than an hour and a half, but the construct roughly shaped like a Death Eater was obliterated. There was no other word for it, obliterated summed it up perfectly.

The overpressure wave had knocked Albus down, and he rose to his feet chuckling. "I don't think I want to cast this in a real fight unless I really have to." Hermione commented with wide eyes.

The main reason this magic was covered by the Interdict of Merlin was not because of how likely it was to destroy the unwary caster, but because true zealots took to it like a duck to water. Other than those two obvious problems, Hermione thought this magic was great, because it could not be used by _evil_ people.

And damn, but it was powerful!

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Harry was stomping through the Halls of Hogwarts glaring murderously at the walls, portraits, students, and world in general. This was a ridiculous turn of events. The school was still open and running more or less as normal despite the fact that everyone knew Voldemort was in charge of the government. Seriously, he'd even considered going to his Arithmancy lesson, which was scheduled as always next Monday, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Gods look at Filch, beer belly at twelve o'clock. Murderous glares were exchanged before the two stomped off in opposite directions.

Werewolves, an army of Werewolves might be a problem. An evil government may well pose a challenge too. Goblin's out for your blood could be a bit of a snag. Oh, and Voldemort was apparently a far more dangerous duellist than Albus remembered from the first war.

Harry decided to go blow some stuff up in the Come and Go Room for a while, so he span around and continued his determined stomping as he went to find a staircase. Luna rounded on him on the way there and Harry offered her a murderous glare. She punched him on the nose. He stopped glaring.

"Finished moping yet?" Luna asked after she healed his face.

"How can she possibly be marrying Draco Malfoy?"

"No idea." She replied "Are you willing to admit you're in love with her now?"

"No!" Harry shouted "I think she's being drugged or something …and stop saying that."

"Do you have a plan?"

Harry shrugged "Kill everybody?"

"That is sure to go down well." Luna commented.

"Do we have a when yet?"

"Friday."

"Bollocks."

Harry and his friend entered the room and started wailing on one another, with Harry's casting a shade or two Darker than normal.

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Fleur was excited. She was getting married in under an hour, how could she not be? She looked herself over in the mirror and concluded that the flowing white dress was the single most beautiful thing she had ever put on. Unsurprisingly she looked nothing short of stunning, which was only appropriate given this was likely one of the most important days of her life.

Fleur couldn't stop fiddling with the small bracelet on her wrist for some reason, and her mother Appoline kept slapping her hand as she was dressing her daughter. She didn't know why she was doing it, and had only the vague idea she'd picked the thing up somewhere in the United States.

That wasn't important.

She was getting married today, Fleur just told herself to stop fidgeting like a little girl, today was a good day and she wasn't going to ruin it.

Even if she _had_ been getting ready for almost four hours!

It was a while later that saw Fleur looking as radiant as ever, her natural aura enhancing not just her own beauty but that of all those distinguished guests in attendance. She walked majestically down the aisle, the centre all focus, and came to stand beside her future husband. Her eyes brushed over well remembered pale skin and she noticed a glittering in his normally cold grey eyes which only added to his attractiveness.

The ceremony was quite long, and for some reason the Cleric officiating waited an unnecessarily long time after asking "Are there any who object to this union, speak now forever hold your peace" but of course nobody spoke up, although her father had been giving quite a scowl to the Cleric during the needlessly long wait. Eventually the ring was on her finger, and Fleur heard the words she'd been so anticipating:

"-now declare you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Fleur traitorously touched her fingers to her bracelet again. She was ruining it! Fidgeting like some foolish child.

When their lips met she let out a gasp. Big blue eyes met grey and Fleur deepened the kiss more than was probably appropriate.

The newlyweds scampered from the room, it would have looked more dignified had they not obviously been so much in love, and the door swung shut behind them.

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"Will you please stop swaying your hips so much Harry!" Tam complained one hour earlier. "I swear, you are the worst actor in the world."

"Sorry" Harry responded at a whisper, Polyjuiced to look like a female Auror they'd clobbered earlier.

The redhead moaned in annoyance "You could at least _try_ to sound sincere."

"Hey, I'm a guy who does not have experience living in a woman's body." The pretty female Auror claimed once the Delacour security personnel passed out of hearing range. "Anyway, ignore your conflicting sexual curiosities for the time being," Harry pinched her when Tam was about to protest "…and tell me if you actually know where you're going."

"Of course I know where I'm going. Snape said third floor didn't he? That's where we are, and I do not like the insinuation that I was lost!"

"We've been wandering around barely escaping detection for far too long. You _were_ lost!" Harry countered as they came across a likely door. "How would Snape know anyway?"

"You mean to say you didn't even ask where the source of our information was coming from? You really are doing this without any kind of plan!"

They burst through the door side by side and tossed the water balloons filled with Giant Grade Sleeping Potion. From their position behind Tam's Bunker Shield, and two swiftly cast Bubble-Head Charms, Harry scoped the room. And as he hoped, found three unconscious men.

"Come on then answer me." Harry pressed, as he got on with his work. "How would Snape know, and why should we be trusting his information at all?"

"He's little Draco's godfather you idiot!" Tam said in exasperation as she Vanished the Sleep Potion Mist. "And as to why we should trust him, this is the last time we can use him as a Spy because it breaks his cover. He got the shit Cruciated out of him thanks to his part in the Jabberwock killing plan you know."

Yanking a few grey hairs from the downed man, and booting him in the ribs for good measure, Harry charged his potion. It turned a gray silvery colour and tasted overly metallic, but his body stretched and changed as the Polyjuice's magic took hold.

"Gods I hate Polyjuice." He stated inspecting his new body. At Tam's look of disbelief he explained "I hate it when _I'm_ using it, not other people… Mind, my pants aren't as tight in the crotch, that's one good thing I suppose."

She glared at his use of too much personal information, but refrained from commenting about his wearing _woman's_ robes. Harry applied his special lip balm, and Tam set about administering the antidote to the downed pair of bodyguards.

"You sure you can maintain three Imperius Curses Tam?" He asked.

She rolled her eyes at him "I invented this spell Harry, I am quite certain I can maintain three at once."

"You invented the Imperius Curse?" Harry asked in surprise. "Since when?"

"Everybody knows I invented it!" Tam said irritably. "Why do you think the First War against Voldemort was so much different from the War with Grindelwald." Harry was just looking at her "As you are so interested in history, when you should be focusing on this mission… I've been able to do a wandless variant since before Hogwarts, I only spellcrafted it properly in fourth year."

"Man, that's kind of _really_ impressive actually."

"Thank you." Tam said with a smile. "Now get the hell out of here, your running late already."

"Why don't we just kill him again?" Harry asked pointing at the downed Lord Malfoy.

Tam administered the antidote and whispered _'Imperio'_ "Polyjuice doesn't work if the subject is dead remember? And Snape made me promise not to. That was his price for helping, we're not allowed to kill his little golden boy." Seeing him standing between Draco's twin bodyguards, Tam gave a shooing motion. "Go now. I'll meet you back in the rendezvous room assuming you don't die."

"Right." Harry swiftly left, flanked by his two Imperius bodyguards.

','

Harry was standing next to his favourite part Veela, the centre of attention, in a room filled with a very large number of people who wanted to do him harm. Personally, not because of any war affiliation. Nevertheless, it was working, and nobody was trying to kill him. Man the ceremony was boring. Fleur was hot at least, that assuaged his boredom somewhat, but still it was dragging on, and on, and on.

Get on with it.

"-now declare you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

About bloody time.

Harry planted a chased kiss on the woman, and banished the bothersome thought that Fleur might _not_ actually be under the effects of some potion. The blanket antidote in his lip balm _had_ to work. Fleur wouldn't _really_ marry Malfoy, the very idea was ludicrous. So there was no need to worry about being kicked in the knackers and murdered by Delacour security personnel.

Seeing her big pretty eyes narrow in confusion Harry sent a burst of his barely trained wandless Legilimency and hoped she got the message. _'It's me Harry. I've come to get you out of here. Act casual.'_

Fleur deepened their first kiss and Harry lost himself for an extended moment.

…

Wow

…

…

Fleur shook him subtly and he eventually floated back to the present. Right, yeah. He was doing something important. Wasn't he?

Oh yeah, try not to get killed.

He grabbed Fleur's supple feminine hand and the two scampered out the room. Hopefully everyone would attribute the scampering as something other than a panicked attempt to flee.

"'Arry I-," The French woman began as soon as the door closed behind them.

"No time, we gotta go." Harry interrupted.

When the two reached the rendezvous room on the first floor Harry found it empty. Not good.

Tam walked in a few moments later. "Yeah, Draco threw off my Imperius. He got away." She informed like it was no big deal.

"Wha-," Harry began.

"Wait for it…" Tam said holding up her hand.

Over the next five minutes people began filtering into the room one by one; Sirius, Bellatrix, Hermione, Albus, and Lily.

There were seven Luna Lovegoods also.

As well as six other Harry Potters.

One of which was clearly injured, and now being tended to by Tam. Harry-One bit his lip and banished the frown from his face. He took the offered Time-Turner and just before vanishing across the sands of time, made an offhand observation:

"Something tells me things are about to get complicated."

','

Lens of Sanity  
Draco and Gerard drugging Fleur into marrying Malfoy, that's Trails again, only the Dark Side. Killing the Hero and having his primary love interest _'bathed and sent to my bedchamber'_ is a classic. It's on the Evil Overlords List for gods-sake! … The comment Lucius and Narcissa might be brother and sister was swiped from Sarah1281 … QTuani7's Weapon Revised had Riddle inventor of the Imperius


	26. Grammar

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**Readers Beware! Should you come at this chapter with a light heart, know this:**  
There is a good reason Time-Turners are dangerous, and if you can easily follow the narrative throughout, you may be one of those rare folk who are capable of using one  
**Avast!**

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Twenty Six: Grammar

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Harry-One had such a bad feeling. It was probably going to be okay, despite the outside chance of today's events causing the universe to explode or something. Fuck it, it was worth it. Fleur really _wasn't_ marrying Malfoy of her own free will. Not that he'd ever doubted it of course. Not for a single moment.

Right, okay. There seemed to be multiple versions of Harry and Luna in the same room at the same time. And this was all obviously completely impossible. Nonetheless Harry was good at impossible, he could do this, all he needed was a little time to think. Albus handed him a Time-Turner and he gave voice to an incredibly obvious conclusion.

"Something tells me things are about to get complicated."

Harry-One spun the hourglass and arrived precisely one hour beforehand, becoming Harry-Two as he reappeared in the same room.

He went in search of somewhere quiet and out of the way to think. They'd originally chosen this room as a rendezvous point because it was in a wing, off the beaten path of Châteaux Delacour. Far from the action, and lightly patrolled. Meaning he skulked about the corridors and found the first unused room, and set up camp for the remainder of the hour to brainstorm.

It did not take him long before realising something incredibly bloody annoying.

Nevertheless he came up with a number of sketchy plans, some of which had real potential.

When his time was up he cautiously made his way back.

Harry-Two was standing in the group room, having been the second version of himself to enter. Albus offered the Time-Turner to his past self who made the comment about things getting complicated before spinning back to go think. As soon as he was gone, Harry-Two stopped biting his tongue and let out a loud "Fuck!"

"Yeah, we kind of screwed that one up didn't we." A couple of the other Harrys stated together.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"If Tam, Fleur and I all simply span back six hours, we'd have come out the other side early enough to just sneak out in a pretty straightforward way." Harry-Two declared with annoyance at his stupidity. "Now I'm pretty sure the only way I'm getting out of this is by fighting past an Army!"

Harry-Two raked his eyes over the injured future version of himself that Tam was treating, and decided not to get worried unnecessarily. Hermione finally took stock of the fact that past and future analogues of both Harry and Luna were interacting with one another, so understandably screeched. "This is totally impossible!" At the same moment as four of the Lunas mouthed along with her.

"Seriously Hermione, you say that every single time." Future Harry stated shaking his head. "Besides, the Lunas are about to set up a doubles table-tennis table, just you wait."

"Well, we've all heard everything you are all going to say multiple times now." Future Luna commented. "It's not like it's all that interesting after you've heard it twice before."

Harry-Two shook his head. This was wasting precious time he did not have. Or maybe he did have it, who knew in this type of situation. Best not be too cavalier unnecessarily though. "Will one of the future _mes_ please hand it over then?"

The most tired looking Harry, who Harry-Two was assuming to be Harry-Seven, moved over to the dazzling Fleur Delacour. He handed over his Time-Turner and whispered some instructions into her ear. Instructions which Harry-Two was careful _not_ to overhear. The bastard then kissed her making him more than a little jealous, and beautiful Fleur vanished from sight.

Harry-Two had a good idea where Fleur was headed, but as he probably had five more hours to refine the plan, decided not to offer instructions until he became the guy who'd just kissed her. Besides, if his first plan was successful there would be no need for Fleur to go anywhere, and Harry-Seven might just have kissed her and told her to go be safe.

It might happen!

"Okay, you guys. I'm going to go track down Malfoy after he escapes, but before he gets away." Harry-Two said cheerfully "Wish me luck."

Harry-Two vanished.

As soon as he did, Harry-Three said "Yeah, totally not going to work!"

','

When Harry-Two appeared an hour earlier he became Harry-Three… Yep, today was going to be a long day.

If he was right in his assumptions, Draco had managed to free himself from Tam sometime _before_ the two had reached the rendezvous room. All Harry would have to do would be to track them down, wait for Draco to clobber Tam, and then incapacitate him without being seen. This was the plan he'd settled on as soon as he figured out there were hundreds of easier ways to escape, and he'd screwed them all up right at the beginning.

This was the magic of Time-Turners. Everything that one does in past present and future incarnations when using spin-backs, all happen _at the same time_. Upshot being, Harry was virtually assured that Draco was going to escape.

And so, Harry-Three found himself wistfully longing he could maybe try something different, in the hopes that something else would work. Only he couldn't do that, mainly because his future self _already will have __**not **__done it_.

Luna was right. The hardest thing about time travel was grammar.

Harry-Three had maybe half an hour before he needed to get back to the rendezvous room, so he quietly skulked his way back toward the place he and Tam had attacked Malfoy in the first place. Taking steps to remain unseen by both Delacour security, and the oncoming targets.

After a time he came upon a corridor in an unfortunately high traffic area of the warren-like structure. Poking only one of his eyes around the corner Harry-Three saw a tussle, and a brutal headbutt connecting to the side of Tam's skull dropping her to the floor. Malfoy retrieved his wand from the downed woman and sent what was presumably a Stunner, even if it was greyish-blue in colour.

Harry-Three threw up as powerful a noise and magic suppressant up as possible, simultaneously sending two wandless Peanut Panthers at the Malfoy Lord. The duel was held in absolute silence thanks to the wards, and Draco quickly made the decision that he was outmatched. Bringing down one of the walls with a heavy silent shudder, Malfoy bought himself enough time to scarper.

With most of the people in Châteaux Delacour, currently witnessing the wedding ceremony, the halls were empty. Either that, or it was plain luck that the impromptu chase was not interrupted, and he'd not paused for more than an overcharged _Enneverate_ on Tam.

Harry-Three concluded he was obviously running late when Draco had met up with the two bodyguards thought to still be under the Imperius Curse. Mr. Crabbe or Mr. Goyle, he was never sure which was which, sent a swelling mass of Fiendfyre at him when he reached the courtyard, and Harry futilely shot Hoarfrost into it as he legged it back into the building so as not to be barbecued.

Who the hell taught those idiots _that_ spell?

Harry-Three stayed long enough to conclude the three really _had_ escaped, and made it back to the rendezvous room, only having to Hex a single security guard on the way.

','

Back in the room again Harry-Three was watching Harry-Two give out some basic orders, and after hearing about the intension to go track down Malfoy, offered "Yeah, totally not going to work!"

"Obviously!" Hermione spat waspishly.

Luna-One had seated herself cross-legged on top of a table and voiced her suspicion. "Saying as there are seven of me in one place concurrently, I'm guessing I get a crack at her?"

"Helga? Yeah." The blonde he assumed was Luna-Two responded. "And one of the Harrys are going to have to let us borrow their Cloak of Invisibility, we'll probably need it if we're to get an honest shot at pulling it off." When this suggestion had been voiced, one of the Future Harrys, _not _the lucky bastard who'd kissed Fleur, handed over the Cloak to Luna-One.

The same Cloak which was currently residing in his room on Caerbannog. 'Fantastic!'

Harry-Three was pretty sure this did not count as taking orders from future versions of himself, because if that were the case, they'd have just Paradoxed. And saying as nobody had died, and the planet hadn't exploded, things were going well.

"I'm going to try and sneak out of here, see what I can manage…" Harry-Three began "…even though already know I'm going to fail."

"I want to come too Harry!" Pretty Bella requested.

They span back together.

A while later/earlier Harry-_Four_ and Bellatrix watched as Vincent Crabbe unleashed Fiendfyre to cover Malfoy and his second bodyguard's escape. The two were still on the wrong side of the cursed flames, but Bella swished her 12¾ Inch Walnut and Dragon Heartstring Wand, capturing the fire and dismissing it with fluidity and grace.

When she winked a purple eye at him Harry-Four commented, "Man, you're cool!" causing her to smile brilliantly. "If I'm right there should be a war going on right about now. We'll go animagus on them, don't engage unless you have too!"

"Aww," Bella pouted "can't we fight just a little?"

"Sorry," Harry-Four ran his fingers through the hair behind Bella's ear. "It'll be too complicated to keep track of… we've got to do the best we can to just get through."

"Okay, Harry." She agreed, transforming into her majestic feline form.

Vorpal Bunny and Bengal Tiger galloped their way through a warzone, with Harry-Four doing his level best to pay just enough attention to what was happening around him **not to die**. While paying little enough attention to hopefully **not remember** very much about troop placement and so on.

Paradoxes were bad.

Harry-Four may have decapitated a couple of Werewolves who got in his way using the Rabbit to Vorpal Blade quick-change he'd mastered for the Jabberwock Battle. And Bella may have gotten a little enthusiastic mauling a guy, but for the most part they got through the skirmish astoundingly swiftly.

"Caerbannog!" was shouted to Harry-Four's wrist, and the two companions found the Cloak of Invisibility, as well as a Time-Turner laying comfortably in the atrium waiting for them. "Hmm."

The two Apparated a few miles into the French countryside, so as to be far from any prying eyes, Harry-Four now in possession of the Cloak of Invisibility. And only ten minutes to get back to the rendezvous room.

"Bella dear, go back three hours, collect everyone and have them meet me here right after you left. They need enough time remaining for at least two more spin-backs…" Harry-Four trailed off "Shit! … Whatever you do, _don't_ spin-back Luna even once! Instead tell her… tell her she's got to make it to the rendezvous room on her own by the meeting time, …tell her to hide out in Châteaux Delacour for hours without being seen if she has to…"

"Harry, Stop." Bella asked carefully. "I'm actually the _second_ analogue existing in the same timeframe ... At least I think that was how Yellow described it when we were hiding out for all those hours in the French Châteaux.

Anyway, I've only used the Time-Turner once today, and that was when I was with you. I think I'm supposed to go back the remaining five hours… thanks to Yellow I'm pretty sure I know what I have to do." Harry-Four thought about this for a while and nodded.

As soon as Bella-Two vanished five hours into the past; Sirius, Albus, Lily, and Hermione all made themselves visible.

If his reasoning was correct Bellatrix-One had been in Châteaux Delacour the whole time, Bellatrx-Two had just disappeared to five hours ago, and Bellatrix-Three should currently be piloting Caerbannog awaiting their escape.

"Albus _'Legilimens'_ me, I need to show you the best route to get to your destination." Seeing the old man was about to question, Harry-Four snapped "No time, do it now."

"_Legilimens"_

Harry-Four dropped his Occlumency shields and focused primarily on the route he'd used to get there in the first place, and the location of the room they were aiming for. After a long moment of pretty agonising pain which left him with a headache, they were done.

"Spin-back your first hour Albus. Then transfigure everyone into something small like a coin or something. You should be able to get there without meeting anyone if you do it alone…" Harry-Four ordered.

Seeing how tired the teenager looked Dumbledore spoke to his retreating back "I will resort to Memory Charms if necessary, I will see you in a little more than an hour. Please take care of yourself my boy."

Dumbledore and his friends all vanished back one hour and Harry-Four threw on his father's old Invisibility Cloak, then Silenced his feet and took off like the hounds of Hell were chasing him.

'It's okay Harry, don't freak out on me.' He muttered calmly to himself 'Sending them off on their own was a better idea than taking them yourself. You are _not_ making it overly complicated for no reason. Just take a deep breath and be calm.'

His heart was thumping more than two hundred beats a minute. He had to get back. It was time to run.

','

"Don't be so worried about running late Harry." His own voice declared from the shadows. Harry-Four spun around, he was pretty sure he was having a heart attack. "I've got you an Invigoration Draught." Other Harry went on, placing the small vial on the floor. "And you might want to take Hermione with you next time."

"What?" Harry-Four asked intelligently.

"Starfall when Albus catches the Piercer in his offhand."

"What?" Harry-Four asked again. But the other man simply waved at the vial and gestured to the door. "Aaaargh! Fuck this shit!" He shouted to the air and strode into the room for a third time, followed closely by the Harry who'd just given him the Potion.

Three other Harrys were already there, and he was only a little surprised to see Albus, Sirius, Hermione, and Lily chatting amongst themselves. Bella, who should be her earliest incarnation, seemed to be listening to one of the Lunas mutter. And by the time Harry-Four had finished this sweep the door closed behind the last man.

"Something tells me things are about to get complicated." Harry-Four mouthed silently at the same time as his former, massively understating, self.

"This is totally impossible!" Hermione declared a little later. At the same moment as he and four of the Lunas mouthed along with her also.

"Seriously Hermione, you say that every single time." Harry-Four declared shaking his head. "Besides, the Lunas are about to set up a doubles table-tennis table, just you wait."

And of course, regular as clockwork, the Lunas did just that. With one of them making an offhand comment about having heard all of this before. The Lunas went on about taking a shot at killing Helga, and just when Harry-Four was about to hand over the Cloak, one of his future selves beat him too it.

Bella convinced his previous self to take her with him a couple of minutes later, and once the two vanished, everyone's gaze shifted to him eerily.

"Come on then Hermione." He offered her a flirty smile "We seem to have some work to do."

Harry-Four grabbed onto his brunette friend and they took a spin on the hourglass. He was now Harry-Five.

'I really wish I could draw myself a diagram.' He thought to himself in amused confusion.

','

"So Hermione, how have things been with you lately?" Harry-Five asked ridiculously. "It's like we don't even hang out anymore." When Harry-Five saw his friend was about to protest about having more important things to do he went on. "Is Tam treating you okay? Do you need me to give her the big brother talk?"

"Yes, I am fine, Tam is fine, my work with Albus is going fine, my mother sends her love, my father still hates you, and everything else is fine." Hermione summed up quickly. "Now tell me where we're going, why am I with you this time?"

"Good to hear from Emma, I've not let her buy me coffee for ages. I mean, yeah, I was dead for a lot of that time, but still." Harry-Five smiled, entering the courtyard and taking account of the Fiendfyre scorch marks. "Are you sure things are well with dear Tamsyn. You don't think she's gone evil or anything?"

With a huff that he wasn't answering any important questions, Hermione just responded "If you're talking about her Inferi Horde she doesn't think I know about…"

Harry-Five and Hermione fall into easy -if totally inappropriate for the situation- conversation as they traversed the battle zone with tremendous care. On the last spin-back he'd intentionally been ignoring details in the hopes of avoiding Paradox, however since his future self seemed so comfortable _impossibly_ sending orders back in time, he believed learning what he could of the upcoming battle worth the risk.

Besides, he was still alive, so it was working.

"…and while at first I thought all those unfair detentions were just Tam abusing her power needlessly, I've since changed my mind. Things really could be a lot worse, and I believe I am being quite the positive influence on her." Hermione ground down after a long while.

As if pretty much everyone had not guessed what those two were up to during all that detention time alone, Harry-Five thought in amusement. Albus had been on the lookout for a replacement Defence Professor since last _October_, for when the woman was inevitably caught!

Harry-Five had circled around to where Dumbledore was fighting amongst blue robed strangers, and he'd prodded Hermione toward telling him about some of the incredibly powerful magic Albus has been teaching. "…and you see it is called Starfall because-"

"Starfall?" Harry-Five interrupted.

"Yes." She confirmed guardedly.

He looked predatorily at her, strangely reminding Hermione of how similar he was to Tam sometimes.

"Show me."

The brunette's eyes widened and she gulped. She didn't want to use this kind of thing in a real fight.

Harry-Five saw Dumbledore catch a high velocity Piercing Curse in his offhand, and instantly pushed Hermione out the Invisibility Cloak.

With no time to think on it Hermione stumbled to her feet, leaped closer to her instructor, and sent a kind of jagged pointy sphere from the tip of her wand. When the spell impacted Albus' opponent it burst in a flash of brilliant white, growing ten times, twenty times the size, as crystalline shards of ice obliterated the woman's position.

"Bloody Hell" Harry-Five muttered in astonishment, even as he felt the unnamed target _crack_ through the Anti-Apparition wards and vanish. "That was certainly something to see."

Hermione and Dumbledore moved off, and Harry-Five cautiously skulked toward the decimated area. If he was correct, the woman Dumbledore had just been fighting was the British Minister of Magic; the Helga Founder.

He ran a few diagnostics on the area and whispered _'Tempus'_ before committing all the information to memory. If Luna wanted to kill the woman, he now knew right where to send her. And just as importantly, right _when_ to send her too.

Harry-Five had a surprising amount of time before he needed to be back in the rendezvous room, so he jogged off in search of an Invigoration Draught.

','

Harry-Five watched as Harry-Four came closer, breathing raggedly, and looking outright dreadful. "Don't be so worried about running late Harry." He commanded a touch arrogantly. The man snapped attention to him and he went on. "I've got you an Invigoration Draught." Harry-Five placed the small vial on the floor. "And you might want to take Hermione with you next time."

"What?" Harry-Four asked stupidly.

"Starfall when Albus catches the Piercer in his offhand."

"What?" He refused to answer, instead gestured to the rendezvous room, causing young Harry-Four to let out an amusing. "Aaaargh! Fuck this shit!"

Back in the room Harry-Five once again listened through all the boring, heard it a million times conversation. He gave Luna-One the Cloak of Invisibility. And his previous self vanished across the sands of time with Hermione. He was about to begin issuing orders when the injured Harry regained consciousness, looked around in confusion, and vanished without saying more than a brief word of thanks to Tam for treating him.

"Having fun yet Harry?" Tam asked cheerfully.

"A blast." Was his response, coupled with a maturely stuck out tongue.

"So there appear to be seven Lunas, two Harrys, one Lily, one Sirius, one Tamsyn, and a single version of myself." Dumbledore summed up.

"You put out a call to the French Aurors didn't you Albus?" Harry-Five asked.

"Indeed, I informed them the Delacour's would be in danger from the imminent attack from Voldemort." The old man agreed. "Which is at least partially true."

"They will attack from the north and west in around twenty minutes." Harry-Five informed. "Death Eaters are primarily focused in that area. It is the army of werewolves we knew to be amassing in Southern France which will be more problematic. They show up on the east side, Bella and I have already run through them once and I have no idea how I'm going to stop them."

"So we go north and try to link up with the French Aurors?" Lily asked.

"Albus does at the very least, but I'm going to be heading east, and hope I'm right about Fleur." He corrected.

Sirius threw up a hand like he was in school asking a question, causing Harry-Five to grin and nod for him to go on. "How did Voldemort raise an army so soon? I mean, we had four and a half hours warning thanks to my cousin Bellatrix, and that was barely enough time."

"Oh," Harry-Five blinked "I've been working under the assumption Draco found a Time-Turner and span-back six hours. That should be enough time for him to martial some resistance. I am a high priority target after all."

They all paused and braced themselves.

"Pick a wandmate Albus, your attacking the north east, and I've sent Hermione to help you." Harry-Five said following a short pause.

"I shall go alone." Dumbledore declared. "I do not mean to be rude, but any one of you would only get in my way."

Harry-Five took a deep breath. "Don't die!" He ordered. "Everyone else get over here-"

Tam interrupted "The past version of myself is on the other side of that door," with a waved hand she finished "take her with you instead of me."

Harry-Five rubbed his temples. It would be so much easier had he _not_ needed to keep all of this straight in his own mind. Nevertheless he moved outside, met Tam-One, wrapped her and his other companions in the Time-Turner, and span back his second last hour.

When he reappeared he became Harry-Six.

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There was a _Swish_ as Harry-Six hurled his Vorpal Sword into the chest of a pouncing Werewolf. The man would never again threaten his mother in any way shape or form. As the three Black Bears he was wandlessly controlling held a defensive perimeter, Harry-Six retrieved his Sword.

They were lucky in a way. Today was a New Moon, meaning the Werewolves were at their least dangerous, hardly stronger or faster than a regular man at all this far from the mid lunar cycle. Coupled with this good news was the fact that less than one in five was a wanduser, so most were armed with knives, hatchets, and assorted melee weapons.

Tam would doubtlessly call him a fool for going Vorpal Blade on them, giving up the superior range of his wand to hold a sword, but it seemed the right thing to do. He knew from experience that the ludicrously broad blade could take most curses if he turtle behind it, and with the wandless animal defenders, close range didn't seem like such a bad idea.

Downside?

There were only four of them, whereas there were far more than a hundred werewolves. Harry-Six wished Bella were at his side, not just Tam. Bellatrix was born for this stuff, her name itself titled her a goddess of battle. Hell, Harry-Six would bet serious gold she'd be able to take down a hundred untransformed werewolves on her own!

Once they'd chopped, shot, cursed, and gored their way through the first wave, two more waves made themselves visible in the tree line.

"Fan-_bloody_-tastic!" Lily shouted sarcastically, raising her wand to continue regardless.

Harry-Six was confident he and Tam would survive somehow, but the others he was less sanguine about.

"Oh, bloody fucking hell!" Sirius shouted in alarm "Frank, I mean Godric is here." The animagus pointed to the man. "This is going to get bad." There was a massive howling explosion somewhere off to the north, and it felt like the signal things were about to get a whole lot worse than just _bad_.

Ten minutes of steady battle later proved this to be an accurate assumption. Luckily Godric seemed content to sit back and direct his forces, because that man alone was dangerous, but the low magical nature of most of their opponents was working in the small group's favour. Harry-Six, Sirius, Lily, and Tamsyn were far from representative Magials. Each and every one of them was of far above average skill, tipping the balance a little more in their direction.

Nonetheless at around the ten minute mark they were surrounded and on the verge of defeat.

That was when Fleur arrived.

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"You can't resist playing the big damn hero!" Harry-Six commented with feigned sternness.

"Oui. Are you not glad to see me 'Arry?" Fleur asked smugly from his side.

"Huh, I suppose." He admitted. "Maybe just a little anyway." Turning to his otherside Harry-Six went on with a smile. "Good to see you again Frost."

The Vampire looked more or less the same, albeit his eyes -even the whites- were churning a blood red. "Who can resist a good old fashioned Werewolf slaughter?"

Frost's hastily gathered Vampire contingent had slammed itself against the Werewolf army's flank, and was in the process of massacring them without mercy. Harry-Six had to give them bonus points for timing.

"True enough." The jade eyed teen agreed.

"Now if you will excuse me, I could use the exercise." Frost left, leaping at least twenty foot into the air.

Thick leather and motorcycle helmets. Who said Vampires were only dangerous at night?

Harry-Six toyed with the idea of bantering with the French girl some more, but decided Godric and his retinue probably had marginally higher priority. Mere minutes later Fleur, Lily, and Sirius were holding up wicked Anti-Escape wards. The destruction of a Founder's Object was of such high importance they didn't want to take any chances with this golden opportunity.

Brother wands set to what they'd taken to calling Twofold Casting, matched well against even the Elder Wand. Of the two Harry-Six was unfortunately forced to admit he was the less dangerous Duellist. He put the blame on four months spent dead thanks to Draco Malfoy, and three months spent dead thanks to Molly Weasley. Riddle had invested those seven months training with thirty hour days, as had Hermione, the unfortunate upshot being that either of them might potentially be able to beat him one-on-one.

Not that he'd admit it out loud.

Sadly it was Harry-Six being the weak link that caused Tam's temporary incapacitation. And once in a Duel without backup with the most magically powerful Founder, Harry-Six got his arse handed to him. The three holding the Anti-Escape wards tried to disentangle themselves as the powerfully built man towered over his messy-haired enemy.

The wand attuned to Frank Longbottom's magic was pointed menacingly at Harry-Six forehead, standing orders being to destroy the famous scar at first opportunity. The deep red of a Blasting Curse pooled at the tip of his wand, and a white flapping of feathers intercepted the magic.

Lily was free and battling Godric with all her might. Fleur and Sirius were still stuck holding the Anti-Escape wards which they couldn't seem to free themselves from.

Harry-Six stood, eyes wide, skin cold to the touch, and looked down at his fallen saviour.

…

"Hedwig?"

…

…

Two flashes of green whizzed by his disbelieving form. A churning brown slashed across his shoulder without it registering, and a single Cruciatus missed him by barely a hair.

…

He didn't move or dodge or react in the slightest.

…

…

"You killed Hedwig?"

…

"You killed Hedwig? You killed my Owl you bastard. I'll kill you!"

With that Harry-Six began to cast. The Dark-As-Fuck spell-chain. The one which started with a Cruciatus, hit Devil's Fire by curse four, and only went downhill from there. It was the same String which always caused nightmares where spiders were crawling from of his eyeballs the night after practicing it.

Tam was back on her feet and joined in. This was all her kinds of magic. Godric blocked and defended quite well in the early stages, but the rage and righteous fury could not be stopped. Spell after spell, curse after curse leapt from eleven inches of holly, causing his adversary to retreat.

Headache pounding Harry-Six kept on at his foe. Sprinting when Godric ran for the ward edge. Left eye scarlet and right eye jade, the man by force of will alone prevented a changeover. And when the enemy with Broadsword strapped to his back took to the air, Harry-Six did also.

Magic he'd never seen, never imagined flew through the sky in mindless grief and rage. Fiendfyre batted away with Fiendfyre and contempt. Powerful, deadly, and dangerous magics exchanged with ease, ending of course with the death of Frank Longbottom's body. And absurdly enough, the porkeying away of Godric Griffindor's Sword.

"Gods Damn It All To Hell!" Harry-Six & VoldePotter's mixed voices screamed to the heavens.

Everything went dark five hundred feet in the air.

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	27. Paradox

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter Twenty Seven: Paradox

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Vision swam back and Tam forced herself to her feet, mage-sense screaming at her some serious magic was going on not ten feet away. Wow, Harry looked pissed off, more than she'd ever seen before, and he was closing on Godric with an unholy gleam in his eyes. After a brief instant of assessment Tam figured out which String he was using and joined in immediately. She called it Offensive Four, but knew Harry thought of it in different terms.

Was that _Norsefire_?

Friggin' hell! No wonder the Founder started bugging out.

Tam watched as Harry sprinted after the man. Then _took to the air_ after him! The Werewolves were being dealt with by the Vampires, so Tam just closed her eyes and felt out at the magic being channelled in the skies above her. A short time later all magics ceased and her eyes snapped open, to a scene of Harry plummeting to the earth.

It took a moment of calculation to figure out where he was going to land, and Tam whispered _"Aresto Momentum,"_ causing a transparent bed of air to form on the ground beneath her target. And the gentle embrace of magic which would prevent Harry from experiencing a lethal reunion with terra firma.

This must have been why the note had asked her to wait outside.

The redhead swept toward Harry's prone form, brutally stunned him with an _'Everbero' _and transfigured his body into a small coin. Taking the Time-Turner from Fleur and applying Invisibility rather than a Disillusionment Charm, she then legged it back to the rendezvous room as fast as her feet could carry her.

Arriving at her destination Tam was breathing heavily on the ragged edge of sensibility, so she stowed the Harry-Coin in a plant pot and span back an extra hour to give her some breathing space. The newly minted Tam-Two cautiously made her way through the compound looking for some healing potions.

She ran across an earlier version of Harry on his search for an Invigoration Draught, but the two didn't do much more than grunt at one another. Neither completely certain where _exactly_ in the timeline their relative analogues were, with regards to one another. So they both decided to keep communication to a minimum.

Outside the rendezvous room half an hour after vanishing, Tam conjured parchment and wrote a hasty message to her first self. She made certain to use three Polyjuice imposter codewords, and stuck it on the door:

'_Go somewhere quite and wait twenty minutes before returning. We have a Time-Turner problem.  
- Signed the Heir of Slytherin'_

Tam waited in the shadows for a little while until her first self, the one having freshly recovered from being clobbered by Malfoy, stumbled toward the room. She read the note with a frown, and took off in the opposite direction after destroying it. Tam remembered how annoying that message had been back when she was in the other redhead's position.

When the time came, one of the Harry's strolled up to her looking pretty tired. He gave her a little advice and the two moved toward the rendezvous point side by side.

Eventually all the others arrived and she swept into the room, untransfigured the Harry-Coin retrieved from the plant pot. She ignored the conversation and set to work healing his scrapes and pouring potions down his unresisting throat. That done she pointed her Yew and Phoenix Feather wand at the man and pealed back his closed eyes:

_"Legilimens!"_

','

Harry-Six was floating in a big swirly sea of headachey pain. After an uncertain length of time he heard an irritable voice ring out, coming from all directions and none simultaneously:

"Wake up you lazy sack of shit!"

Great, it was Tam.

…

A long time past and Harry-Six got the distinct impression there was a fight going on, and that he really should be part of it.

…

More time past.

…

…

"Harry for Frigg's sake, are you even trying to help at all?" The all and nowhere voice bellowed from every side, interrupting Harry-Six from his enjoyment of the headache sea.

…

"The seventh version of yourself gets to kiss Fleur Delacour if you'll remember!" Ghostly Tam reminded him.

"Fine!" Harry-Six said, or thought, or maybe projected or something.

"Finally! I've been utilising Legilimency against you for ages and the Voldemort Soul Fragment keeps trying to destroy my mind."

Harry-Six furrowed his metaphorical brows and felt out at the softly uncomfortable water he was floating in. "What do you need me to do then? I don't even know where the hell I am."

Harry-Six felt a full brunt of the emotion he'd label _'Irritated Grumbling'_ before Tam sent him a more coherent message. "Just reclaim your body the same way you did when VoldePotter tried to cast the Killing Curse against Albus. You have my assistance this time so it should be simpler."

Harry-Six thought about this.

…

Time past.

…

…

"What the hell are you waiting for Harry?"

"I can't remember how I did it last time."

He got a full burst of emotion and decided Tam was swearing in Parsel. Why Parsel he couldn't really guess, but she was definitely not using English. Nor was she using Chinese.

','

The black haired man woke and looked around in confusion. Harry-Five had been interrupted while in the process of issuing orders, and Harry-Six took the opportunity to fish out his Time-Turner. Saying a brief "Thanks" to Tam for saving him from his own mind, he span back his final hour.

He was now Harry-Seven.

The room was empty and a _'Tempus'_ informed he was at roughly the same point the earliest version of himself was nearing the end of a Wedding Ceremony. He smiled a little remembering that, Fleur looked great and kissing her was like taking a right cross from Tyson, only in a good way.

Thing was, he didn't have a plan anymore.

Fleur would be spun back six hours and asked to raise an army for him, and _that_ Vampire Army would then show up just in the nick of time to save him from a different army of Werewolves. Right at the moment when it was just about to defeat Harry-Six and the handful of people he had with him.

Dumbledore and the French Aurors would join against the Death Eaters at the North and East, at the same time. Maybe he should head that way. But then there was Luna, or more accurately the Lunas, and what those seven were up to he didn't fully understand either.

"I'll go help Dumbledore." Harry-Seven declared, wishing he still had his Cloak. Getting to his feet he started to apply as effective a Disillusionment Charm as he could, before he said "Groan!" aloud instead. He didn't actually groan either, he deadpanned the word _groan_ loudly.

Harry-Seven was knackered.

He'd channelled a hellstorm of magic killing Godric, but it was more the sheer number of hours he'd been concentrating. The nonstop moving around, fighting and decision making. The unnerving nature of dancing on a knife-edge of Paradox. Knowing without the shadow of a doubt that if he made one wrong move, or failed to keep track of where his past and future selves were are and had been. Not to mention the various analogues of all his friends who'd similarly been Time-Turning. And if he lost track of any of that, he'd die in some kind of time explosion of something.

Don't fuck with Time-Turners.

It was a simple rule.

Simple, and in Harry-Seven's newly enlightened opinion, an incredibly _good_ rule.

Bollocks. He doubted anyone who _wasn't_ him could have done anything save die ages ago.

Harry-Seven spent most of his time before the final meeting in the rendezvous room, doing nothing but poke around the out of the way wing, with low security traffic. Opening a few doors a random he noticed how many of them were filled with Stunned and Bound Delacour Security personnel someone or other had stuffed in there. He knew a few of them were attacked by various versions of Harry over the course of the past six hours, but not this many!

Eventually he concluded that it really didn't matter, he was on the home stretch anyway. Harry-Seven then came upon one of the two Tam's he knew about, and given that she was carrying a number of Healing Potions, concluded this was the one who helped him recover from the most recent changeover.

"If you start having trouble, remind me that Harry-Seven is the one who gets to kiss Fleur." He advised the redhead with a tired smile.

She quirked an eyebrow and replied "You bet." The brothers entered the rendezvous room side by side, and for the final time.

','

Fleur's nervous fingers touched her bracelet and she chastised herself for fidgeting like an idiotic child. The Cleric spoke the words she'd long been waiting for, "-now declare you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride" and she was finally able to kiss the man she loved for the first time.

When their lips met she let out a gasp. An onrushing feeling, like a memory of holly and Owl feathers crashed over her. Fleur's big blue eyes met grey and it all came crashing back to her. 'I am marrying that ponce who'd killed Harry; Merde!'

The French woman twitched like she was going to hit him, or move, or do something when she noticed the glittering in the foolish child's eyes. Fleur knew that look! That was the look Harry always wore just before the Vampire one was dancing with unknowingly, sunk its teeth into you. Or right after the Draught of Peace wore off and he asked if you had a good time!

So when she heard Harry's voice in her mind using a tone which clearly stated he was having a great time, she was not all that surprised:

_'It's me Harry. I've come to get you out of here. Act casual.'_

Of course it was him.

Bastard!

And while Fleur wouldn't admit it, he'd come at just the right time, and she may have deepened their kiss more than was probably appropriate. Even though it was mostly fuelled by relief the contact _did_ leave Harry visibly dazed, much to Fleur's approval. Nevertheless this was not the time so she shook him and the two scampered from the room.

Harry led her up and down several flights of stairs, clearly having a destination in mind, and after a time the Polyjuice had worn off and they encountered the girl Riddle. "Yeah, Draco threw off my Imperius. He got away." The redhead informed, stating fairly obviously that this plan was about to go off the rails in typical Harry fashion.

About five minutes later Fleur was in a room with a number of people she had at least met in passing. Harry's godfather, and the tiger animagus who was forever following him around. The girl Hermione who everyone hides things from, Albus Dumbledore, and an auburn haired woman Fleur thought she recognized but couldn't quite place.

Oh, and there were Seven Harrys and Seven Lunas. Fleur noted in surprise that she seemed to take this ridiculousness in stride for some reason. The group began bickering and the Harry who'd accompanied her into the room vanished using a Time-Turner.

Fleur took particular note of one of the Harrys, mainly because the look the man was giving her caused her mouth to dry. He'd clearly been through the wars, slashes and scratches across his face and body. Hair messier than usual, and a look of deep fatigue in his stare. It really didn't help Fleur in that this particular Harry's fights left him barefoot and shirtless, showing off surprisingly pleasant attributes, toned muscles without an ounce of excess body fat.

The look of unfettered desire on his tired face stopped her processing the phrase "Will one of the future _mes_ please hand it over then?" and it took the man embracing her closely to snap her back to the present.

Harry said something about Vampires, and an imminent attack by Werewolves. But when he kissed her, thought itself vanished. Fleur was panting heavily when she opened her eyes six hours in the past.

"Wow." The word echoed back to her in the bare room.

Since when had Harry been able to do _that_?

','

'Whoa, I'm really going to have to find an excuse to do _that_ again.' Harry-Seven thought unsteadily once the French woman was gone.

The scene played out the way it had oh so many times before, but as he had recently taken to doing, Harry-Seven was ignoring the goings on, and repeated conversation. Scanning Tam and her eyes locked with Harry-Six, he wished the redhead luck. It seemed to be much more challenging from her end than it was floating in the headache sea, taking it easy.

His eyes moved toward the Luna group, and the four who were playing table tennis, obviously taking great care not to physically touch any of their analogues. One of the seven blondes looked far more frazzled than the other six. Not to say you'd be able to tell unless you knew the woman well, but Luna was clearly under an enormous level of stress. He'd bet anything she was Luna-Seven.

"_Norsefire_ Harry?" Tamsyn asked with an accusatorily raised eyebrow. "I was under the impression you'd sworn against _'learning such horrible spells' _in the future."

'Huh.' Harry-Five and his associates seemed to have hauled ass off to the battle, leaving Harry-Seven, the second Tam, and all seven Lunas alone in the rendezvous room. "Yeah, I know its Class Nine, but it just seemed so damn useful!"

"No more Dark Magic for six weeks!" Tam commanded as she conjured a mirror. "Just look at yourself."

Harry-Seven did as asked, noting dark circles under bloodshot eyes, as well as finally acknowledged the ringing in his ears. All blatant signs of Dark Arts abuse, to anyone who knew what to look for.

"Yeah, I agree. Six weeks minimum." Harry-Seven frowned "You ever noticed that loads of Dark Magic have _fire_ or _fyre_ somewhere in their titles. I mean; Devil's Fire, Fiendfyre, Norsefire… there is even that lethal security ward called Fyrewalling I've seen _you_ cast!"

"Shut up Harry, we have stuff to do." Tam said with a shake of her head. After offering the Time-Turner to Luna-One, six of the Lunas escorted her from the room. Harry's smile slipped from his face.

"Bad new there _Yellow_?" He asked trying out the nickname Bella always used.

"Huh," Luna-Seven began "I've been wondering what the two of us discuss during these ten minutes, for the past six hours. I should not be surprise you saw it the whole time."

"I didn't, at least not really. Not until this last spin-back." Harry-Seven began. "Any chance you'll survive?"

His blonde friend scooped out the Time-Turner she'd been wearing around her neck. The thing was nonstop spinning like crazy and glowing starbright white. That was not a good sign.

"I saw it happen last time," Luna began "partially anyhow. Maybe I'm wrong and today will all end with Maotai and Muff Diving."

"Classy." Harry-Seven commented sarcastically, before asking. "What happened?"

She told him what she'd seen as Luna-Six with a wry smile.

…

A little time ticked by.

…

…

"Will you show me your glamour if I ask?" Luna raised her eyebrow, looking strangely similar to Tam when she did so. "Sexy blonde English woman, with pale skin, living in China? In a world ruled by Voldemort? You'd stick out like a sore thumb! You _obviously_ didn't walk around looking like yourself."

Luna closed her eyes briefly and looked to be concentrating. A moment later stood an attractively slim oriental woman, with jet black hair and jet black eyes. If only because Harry had been looking for it, he noticed the subtle stabbing of 'Suggestion,' and the fact her face shape and bone structure screamed Luna.

"Cute," Harry said with a smile "a Shadow's Masquerade?"

"It was the last thing Tam taught me before we agreed to give up the fight." Luna agreed, uncharacteristically sharing her past. "It helps when a former Rebel wants to be a good little citizen of the Empire."

"Bollocks. I've been afraid of that for ages." Harry said despondently. "Voldemort really isn't that bad is he?"

"So long as you stay away from the Death Eaters, and don't publicly disagree with him... No, not really. He could have been a lot worse, and I'd even go as far to say the common folk were quite a bit better off."

This confession was not something which surprised Harry at all. He knew the way Luna thought, just as much as how Tam and Voldemort's thinking process worked. Still, Luna being a happy citizen under Lord Voldemort's iron fisted rule was not something any of their friends seemed to have even considered. Hermione especially assumed Luna to have been eking out bare existence on the fire basted planes of end world.

As Harry and his friend approached the exit of the rendezvous room he asked a final question. "Would you tell me the person's name? Or how old you really are?"

"Hmm?" Luna grunted in feigned ignorance. "I am twenty five Harry."

"You said that last year." She merely smirked. "And the person's name?"

"Whatever are you talking about?"

"You hate Helga with a passion. Not Voldemort, nor any of the Death Eaters. Just Helga." Harry said, looking directly into her eyes. "I'm interested in the name of whoever she took from you."

Luna gave a lopsided grin "It wasn't _Siri_ if that's who you're guessing. I stopped shagging _him_ years ago."

Harry wrinkled his nose in amusement.

"You gonna tell me?"

"Maybe next time Harry."

As they exited the room for the last time, the two friends bumped knuckles

','

"_Reducto!"_ Harry-Seven winced as the fourth year _O.W.L. standard_ curse painfully drained his magic.

Tam was very pointedly _not_ laughing at him. She _was_ however staying very near him and dazzling the Death Eaters with an awe inspiring display of power and finesse. Commanding a complex and intricate exhibition of Dark Arts, which Harry would never admit was impressive, for the sole reason that the redhead was only doing it to show off and rub it in his face.

"I hate you..." He informed when Tam finished constructing that emerald Hydra which Harrymort demonstrated donkeys ago.

They'd split off from the Lunas after making sure Luna-Seven knew exactly when and where Helga was going to Apparate too. It didn't seem like such a bad idea to go join up with Albus, Hermione, and the French Aurors. So Tam generously applied a Disillusionment Charm to him, and the two had sat invisibly beneath a tree until Hermione showed up to save Dumbledore.

The vanishing British Minister of Magic, and accompanying huge explosion half a mile away, had signified they could begin helping. It took about thirty seconds of Death Eater battling before Harry-Seven was all but spent, and Tam set about making him look as bad as possible.

That had been five or ten minutes ago.

"...sorry Harry, I already have a girlfriend." The demonic redhead replied, cheerfully mocking him.

"_Im-Ped-Ih-MEN-Tah!"_ He intoned the Jinx loudly, slowly, and precisely. Yeah, this was pretty embarrassing.

Tam giggled at him and slowly strolled up to the masked figure he'd hit, punched the person's mask with ritual enhanced strength, probably killing him. "I think that was the last of them." She commented looking about at the idling Aurors and downed Death Eaters.

Harry set off to collect his Cloak of Invisibility, and he assumed Tam was going to start collecting bodies for her Inferi Horde. The battle was over, and surprisingly enough it looked like they'd won.

Voldemort wouldn't have seen that one coming.

','

Luna-One was kind of excited. She'd been in Châteaux Delacour for more than four hours hanging out with Bellatrix in a secluded room, and was finally meeting up with her other selves as well as all the Harrys and the rest of the crew. Bella had told her there was to be quite a lot of confusing Time-Turning to be done, and that the tiger animagus herself found the whole thing simply too difficult to follow. Relying, as she always did when at a loss, on her trust that Harry knew what he was doing.

She liked Bella, even if the woman was completely bonkers, and perfectly willing to eat one of her own children if Harry told her it would amuse him.

She liked her, but sometimes that attitude could be pretty unnerving.

Luna-One, with the help of six other analogues of herself, was going to get an honest crack at killing Helga. This was what had her so energised and filled with anticipation. That bitch was going down.

She was handed the Cloak of Invisibility and a short while later Tam escorted her and five of her analogues from the room for what would turn out to be a ten minute wait. Luna-Seven came out side by side with Harry, who left with Tamsyn as the final version of herself. She charmed a conjured Snitch so I would only be visibly to someone with Lovegood blood.

The group of blondes collectively wrapped themselves in their Invisibility Cloaks and followed the tethered Snitch. Luna-Seven was using it as a beacon to guide them as they could not see through the Cloak themselves. The group was presumably being guided to the future point where Helga would show up. That was her assumption at least, that at some point one of her future analogues would learn of the location which needed to be attacked.

In the hours hiding with Bella, Luna-One had gone over the spell she'd decided was best to use. Basically the most deadly thing she could think of, it should easily be capable of not only killing Helga's current body, but totally annihilating the Horcrux before it could portkey away.

It would take seven people standing in a septagram all facing inward toward the centre, the location which was to be devastated. Seven Seals needed placing; single element Earth, Fire, Metal, Water, and Wood, constituted the Seals Lunas One through Five would set. The sixth would be the Highest Order five elemental she knew, a finicky piece of magic which she'd prefer not to use had there been another way. And finally Luna-Seven would be the one to harness the power built up by the six previous versions of herself, and then cast a pyre of apocalyptic fury at their foe.

A little slice of Armageddon just for the one bitch Luna hated more than any other.

With a smile Luna-One set her single element Earth Seal and fed into it all the magic she could.

Unfortunately she couldn't watch the fireworks because she needed to spin back as soon as it was in place. Nevertheless, in six hours she'd be Luna-Seven, and she couldn't wait to see the look on Helga's face when she gets torched by a spell so few could even name:

'All Under Heaven'

As far as Luna-One knew, nobody had cast it for almost fifty years. This was going to be fun.

','

Mulling it over a while in her mind Luna-Seven decided smiling really _was_ appropriate for this situation. She could feel the unpleasant heat of the whirling Time-Turner nestled between her breasts, the soft grass between her bare toes, and the tangy sensation of active magic flitting in the wind running through her hair.

She watched the woman at her left, Luna-One, vanish on her first spin-back after ploughing a huge burst of magic through the Earth Seal. Then a handful of seconds later the glowing crimson of Luna-Two's Fire Seal ignited and she too disappeared to the past.

Luna-Seven was the only one not covered by a Cloak of Invisibility, having had the foresight to place the Hallow behind a rock for Harry to find once this was all over. Metal Seal lit up in a bright flash of yellow, Water Seal in blue, Wood Seal in green, and Lunas Two through Five vanished as she had when back when she'd been in their position.

Luna-Six would stay until the end though. A blinding multitude of spectral colours, the Core Foci necessary for this most powerful of weapons. It looked pretty damn impressive Luna-Seven realised with surprise.

Ten seconds.

Luna-Seven winked at her younger self and began chanting:

_"Ni Ta Ma De. Tian Xia Suo You De Ren Dou Gai Si"_

The instant she cast and her magic physically touched that of her other selves she Paradoxed. Her Time-Turner exploded outward with tremendous force, and the universe ripped open in a gaping blackness of infinite depth. Tentacles wrapped around arms legs and torso, and Luna was yanked from creation in less than a moment.

Luna-Six was watching this with wide, surprised eyes, and visibly forced herself to spin-back the moment _'All Under Heaven'_ was completed. Luna-Seven offered the slight contented smile which had so confused her for the last sixty minutes, and she finally realised why she was wearing it.

As the blonde left this world, Helga Apparated directly into the centre of the septagram, her eyes bulged and Luna caught the look of fear just before the Founder was completely immolated.

Worth it.

Totally worth it.

The universe clenched shut its space hole, and Luna was gone forever.

','

"I miss Hedwig." Harry said miserably, later that day. She'd come to say hello just as he and Tam left Châteaux Delacour for the final time. Harry had tried very hard to Stun her and send a conjured Owl off to go save him, but it hadn't worked, and Hedwig made her displeasure known quite strongly.

She'd fluttered down onto his shoulder and pecked at his ear affectionately. Harry couldn't begin to guess how she knew where he was, and where his past self would be, but then again Hedwig was far and away the most intelligent person at Hogwarts.

Hedwig was the best.

Harry had actually shouted at Bellatrix when she suggested _stuffing_ her! Like he would ever put his familiar through such an indignity. Still, he felt bad about snapping at Bella, it was the first time he'd **ever** done it, and that kind of made it _worse_.

"Guess this makes you my new favourite avian creature, eh Fleur." Harry said, seated in Caerbannog's main room with a slight smile for the French woman.

Fleur didn't bite, which was probably for the best, he wasn't in a bantering mood anyway.

The battle had gone amazingly well actually. Greyback's head had gone with Frost, and the rest of the Werewolf army was in shambles. Bellatrix had seeded the woods in which the Werewolves retreated with Tam's Horde of the Inferius, so even those who withdrew from the fighting, ended up taking losses.

Tam had shamelessly collected lots of dead Death Eaters and fallen Werewolves before the Aurors could stop her, so she had lots of base material to rebuild. At times the redhead wasn't all that _tactful_.

Frank Longbottom had been killed by Harry or maybe Harrymort, they weren't too certain, which was good news even if the Sword Horcrux had gotten away. Frank's magical core was a pain in the arse they were better off not having to deal with. Helga had been obliterated utterly by Luna, which was truly excellent news, as she was arguably _more_ dangerous than Voldemort himself.

And thanks to Dumbledore, Hermione, and the efforts of the French Aurors, the Death Eater army on the north and west had been massacred. They'd been unprepared for such strong resistance, expecting a small force of maybe five or six at most, not an entire army and well prepared fighters.

So they'd won.

Completely.

That was good.

Harry moped over the loss of the most awesomest Owl in the history of Mankind-Owl relations for the next two hours. Fleur stuck around but they didn't really talk much as the airship flew majestically over the French countryside on the return trip to Britain. Albus' Phoenix Patronus informed the two of them Hogwarts was under siege, and it was for this reason Voldemort himself had not been present for the supposed ambush of Harry and Fleur after the Wedding Rescue.

The Castle was holding and would do so without them for the foreseeable future, now that Dumbledore was back beneath the protections. Nevertheless Harry 'healthily' forced the loss of his friend beneath a nice strong Occlumency Barrier, so as not to have to think on it, and be forced to act like an emotional little girl.

Lily and Hermione came in a while later to the scene of Harry shamelessly hitting on the Veela girl, and demanding all sorts of inappropriate restitution for saving her from a fate worse than death.

"You've gotten over Luna's death awfully swiftly Harry." Hermione commented with badly concealed concern.

"Gotten over whose what?" Harry asked with a frown.

"We just lost Luna, you said so yourself." Lily replied.

"What? I never said Luna was dead. I said she'd told me, the final version of herself Paradoxes, and gets sucked into a crazy hell dimension by a tentacle monster." Harry said slowly. "And from her description it sounded like one of the mean kind, _not_ one of the fun kind."

"I don't understand." Hermione stated.

"Are you saying you think she's _alive_?" His mother asked incredulously.

"Well yeah."

There was a long silence following this ridiculous claim.

"Why?" The three women asked together.

Harry just shrugged.

','

Lens of Sanity  
I would advise against doing Time-Turning Chapters, too many headaches. This came out pretty well, but damn. Their is a summary of what happened at the beginning of CH28 ... And a Character Alignment Sheet has been posted on **_lensofsanity (dot) deviantart (dot) com_** It was created to give a nice visual, and posted when a reviewer asked for a bigger version


	28. A Slightly Successful Siege

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Twenty Eight: A Slightly Successful Siege

','

"Okay, let me get this straight," Hermione began a few days later "everything that happened at Châteaux Delacour, happened with only a _single _Time-Turner."

"Yes." Harry agreed.

"I want to plot the course it travelled…" She declared, filching some parchment and a quill from the expanded satchel known as a Scholars Pack, which Albus bought her for Christmas. Three days later that same piece of parchment was covered by a large number of crisscrossing lines, scribbled notes, rubbings out, crossings out, asterisks, and people's names suffixed with numbers.

…

Bellatrix-Three had arrived at Hogwarts and warned Dumbledore of the attack. Dumbledore had then collected Sirius, Lily, Hermione, and the Time-Turner, then travelled to France leaving Tonks, Mad-Eye and Scrimgeour to defend the Castle.

Bellatrix-Three had passed on Harry's orders to Luna, telling her in turn, to track down her first self to help.

Out in the French countryside Albus, Sirius, Lily, and Hermione, all met up with Harry-Four, who ordered them all to use their Time-Turner and spin-back one hour. Then follow Legilimency obtained directions to the rendezvous room.

Dumbledore offered the Time-Turner to Harry-One once he got to the rendezvous room, and Harry-One span back one hour to think.

Harry-Two shouted about how he'd fucked up, span back becoming Harry-Three, and _he_ went in search of Malfoy. Failing because one of Draco's bodyguards let loose Unrestrained Fiendfyre in order to escape.

Harry-Three span back with Bellatrix-One, becoming Harry-Four and Bellatrix-Two respectfully. Those two used Disillusioned animagus forms to run through the werewolves without having to get too involved, and eventually found themselves on Caerbannog. They discovered a Time-Turner and the Cloak waiting for them.

Harry-Four gave Bellatrix-Two the Time-Turner which was around his neck, and picked up the one on the floor for himself.

Bellatrix-Two span back alone five hours becoming Bellatrix-Three, then gave orders to Albus and Luna. She proceeded to place the Cloak of Invisibility and Time-Turner in the Atrium for later collection, then waited several hours and seeded one of the woods with Tam's Inferi Horde.

Harry-Four gave orders to Dumbledore and the group, before made his way back to the rendezvous room at a breakneck sprint. He drank an offered Invigoration Draught and listened to some advice about taking Hermione before entering the room. He span back with Hermione as advised, becoming Harry-Five.

Harry-Five escorted Hermione out to the Death Eater battle, and she saved Dumbledore by tagging Helga with a spell called Starfall. Once the dust settled Harry-Five performed a number of diagnostics to determine what time, and to which location, the Founder had Apparated too.

He then went in search of an Invigoration Draught, and ran into Tam-Two. Neither knew where in the timestream the other was, so spoke little to each other to prevent too much confusion.

Harry-Five offered Harry-Four the advice about taking Hermione, and gave him the Invigoration Draught. Once in the room he decided now was the time to go fight the Werewolves properly, and Tam told him the past version of herself was outside.

Harry-Five took Dumbledore, Lily, Sirius, and Tam, then span them all back one hour. Becoming as he did so, Harry-Six.

Dumbledore went North alone, and the rest went East. Harry-Six and the group were rescued in the nick of time by Fleur and her Vampire Army. Harry-Six got into a fight with Godric, ending up with his grizzly incapacitation.

Tam-One revived him in the rendezvous room using Legilimency and Healing Supplies. And he span back his final hour, becoming Harry-Seven.

Harry-Seven kissed Fleur and sent her back a full six hours. She travelled to the United States, met with Deacon Frost, and negotiated an Army. It wasn't all that hard, Frost had met her before, and he liked Harry.

Fleur and the Vampires then saved Harry-Six and his crew from the Werewolves.

Tam-One took Fleur's Time-Turner, transfigured the unconscious Harry-Six into a coin, and then legged it back to the rendezvous room. She stowed him in a plant pot, then span back one hour to rest and obtain Healing Supplies. Becoming as she did Tam-Two.

Tam-Two ran into Harry-Five who was searching for an Invigoration Draught, but neither spoke much in order to prevent too much confusion.

Tam-Two made it back to the rendezvous room, wrote her previous self a message to go wait outside, and used the Healing Supplies as well as Legilimency to revive Harry-Six. After a while everyone left, and Tam-Two offered the Time-Turner to Luna-One.

Luna-One escorted Tam-Two from the room along with Lunas-Two through Six. Following a ten minute wait she followed her eldest self to the location Helga would supposedly appear, covered by the Invisibility Cloak.

Luna-One set her single element Earth Seal and channelled much magic through it, before spinning back one hour and becoming Luna-Two.

Luna-Two played a little table tennis but eventually did the same, only with a single element Fire Seal instead.

Luna-Three did the same only with a single element Metal Seal.

Luna-Four did the same only with a single element Water Seal.

Luna-Five did the same only with a single element Wood Seal.

Luna-Six did something similar, only without the table tennis, and it was with a finicky five elemental Core Foci. She then caught a glimpse of what was going to happen to her final analogue. Spotting the tentacles wrapping themselves around arms, legs and torso, then dragging her into a gaping void. Luna-Six kept her head and span back her final hour, becoming Luna-Seven.

Luna-Seven noticed right away that the Time-Turner was spinning like mad, and glowing starbright white. She and Harry-Seven had a conversation in the rendezvous room, and eventually she found herself incanting _'All Under Heaven.'_

The instant Luna-Seven's magic touched her previous analogues' magic, the Time-Turner exploded.

And all of this, from wedding to rendezvous room to Helga's death, happened within the span of about ninety minutes of sidereal time, from a Châteaux Delacour bystander's point of view.

…

"Wow," Harry said reading Hermione's completed notes "that is indeed very complicated."

"You've read the letter from the Department of Mysteries: Time Subdivision?" His brunette friend asked.

"The one filled with more swearwords than any professional letter has any right to contain?" Hermione nodded. "Yeah I have. Those pansies don't know the first thing about time travel!"

','

They'd left Châteaux Delacour and immediately returned to Scotland, parking Caravel Caerbannog in an out of the way location on the Shetland Islands because Hogwarts was under siege. It was kind of surprising how little this actually changed life in the Castle. Death Eaters, Death Eater controlled Aurors, and Goblin Barges camped outside the walls and wards.

None of it really made much of a difference.

With Dumbledore, the Order, and the deposed Ministry of Magic all taking residence within the school, there were enough personnel to keep the protections strong enough to hold off any assault. Apparently they'd tried several times, with Voldemort himself leading the attack, while Harry and his friends were mucking about in France. Scrimgeour had shown a hitherto unseen depth of competence while directing the forces during those initial stages.

He _had_ been a decent Auror at one point apparently, so that side of him shouldn't have surprised Harry as much as it had. The 'idiotic politician' persona having thrown him back when they'd first met. The upshot of this burst of competence from the former Minister was that he'd held the Castle long enough for Dumbledore to return, and now there was little the Death Eaters could do until the wards were torn down.

And even though Harry was far from an expert when it came to Ward Building or Curse Breaking, he knew that Hogwarts had some of the most bitching protections in the world.

Anyway, as perverse as it seemed, Monday the 10th of February 1997 rolled around, and Harry Potter found himself sitting in Arithmancy. Just like any other normal sixth year student. He wasn't even that far behind. Hell he was still a little _ahead_ of the rest of the class, despite having died a week after Halloween last year, and missing all the classes for the duration. And then having not shown up for the one week since Tam cured it, because he was so focused of kidnapping/rescuing Fleur from marrying Malfoy.

Harry's magic was still retardedly limited and Poppy had told him to do nothing overly strenuous for _'the foreseeable future,'_ which he of course took to mean _'where anyone could catch him.' _Which was what made this such a good time to kick back, do some planning, and hopefully a little revengeance. A word which not only combined the awesomeness of vengeance, with the visceral nature of revenge, but _also_ annoyed Hermione no end when you used it.

On the way to Potions a little later, he spied a familiar rear three quarters. "Good afternoon Pansy." Harry said politely.

"Go fuck yourself Potter." Pansy responded in a tone even more polite.

'Wow, cheerful girl!' Harry thought, stealthily groping her on the way into the room. He sat himself down, enthusiastic about the upcoming lesson, ignored the Slytherin girl's look of absolute loathing, and cast his mind about for today's Snape related attack angle.

"So Hermione, they say the thirteenth use of Dragon's Blood was actually found to be Snape Remover," Harry began to his friend's look of dismay, not long before the Potions Master entered "and _that's_ why he uses such distinctive hair care products. Isn't that correct Professor?"

Snape didn't respond.

"Don't want them to have one over on you, it's understandable…" Harry continued "…I mean, _Constant Vigilance_ and all that!"

Yeah, nothing. No response.

"…" The room got a little awkward.

"Mr. Potter, if you would turn to Chapter Four of Advance Potion Making. We are brewing the third Everlasting Elixir." Snape said in an even tone. "Be careful when adding the Fluxweed shavings."

"…" Something wasn't right.

"W-what?" Harry asked with wide eyes.

"Chapter Four." The man turned and scribbled _helpful advice_ on the blackboard.

"What?" Harry pleaded to Hermione, who just shrugged. After nearly ten minutes standing over his Cauldron without moving, Snape made a move to see what the problem was. After two minutes looking the greasy man in the face with incomprehension Harry questioned. "You mean that you, we-, I…"

Harry trailed off.

"WHAT'S THE POINT IN EVEN ATTENDING TO POTIONS IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PLAY ANYMORE!" He shrieked like a girl and ran from the room."

"…"

"What a drama queen." Hermione commented.

"He gets it from his mother." Snape said absently, returning to his class.

','

"But Mum," Harry complained in a whiny voice "you've ruined one of my favourite classes."

"I was shown a Pensieve memory of your first Potions lesson with Severus. The man was acting appallingly." Lily explained slowly.

"You can't expect me to be nice to him!"

"Not if you don't want too. He played a major role in killing your father, and tried to get _you_ killed also." The auburn haired woman informed him. "Once I witnessed the relevant memories I… hurt him a great deal…"

"I hope you don't mean hurt him _emotionally_." Harry said in distain.

"No. Poppy was forced to remove a… from his…" Lily trailed off "Look, regardless of what happened, Severus has now agreed to be at minimum Neutral with regards to his teaching methods. And you can simply choose to ignore him if you desire."

"But I was well on the way to causing him to have a Stroke!" Harry whinged.

"Come on, I'm feeling a little nauseous. Where we headed?" Lily ignored his comment. "You said _the crew_ were going to hold a planning meeting this evening."

"The Room of Requirement, also known as the Come and Go Room. It's on the seventh floor" Harry said, moving onto the next topic. "And it's just an informal brainstorming with my friends, _not_ the Order of the Phoenix."

They moved up several flights of stairs, across corridors, and through secret passageways hidden behind portraits and tapestries. When the eventually reached the corridor on the seventh floor the door was waiting for them and they filed in. Seated around a large comfortable looking table were Sirius and Bellatrix Black each of whom had cracked open an icy can of Heineken, Albus Dumbledore enjoying a tall glass of white wine, beside Snape and his glass of whiskey.

There was some muttering along the lines of; _'what the hell is he doing there,'_ but eventually the fact he'd broken cover in order to offer information leading to Fleur's rescue, allowed Harry to grudgingly let him stay. Because Albus asked him to, so long as Snape promised not to talk, or take up too much space.

Tonksy was deep into a bottle of top-end cider and Tam waxed poetic about a blonde ale she'd discovered called Hoegaarden, a can of which she too was well in the way through. Harry sat himself next to them, snatched up a frosty can of Carling Extra Cold, and with a crisp _'Crack' _began drinking it down.

"So by 'brainstorming meeting' you meant, we all sit around getting drunk?" Lily asked, taking a glass of the Headmaster's white.

Fleur placed herself near Harry, but with her back slightly too him. The messy haired man idly whispered _"Vinomenti"_ conjuring for her, a fine red wine which had precisely the same body, aroma, and taste as a 1956 Mouton Rothschild. This was a feat of magic which was undeniably impressive, and demonstrated great skill and preparation.

Fleur did not, by look word or gesture, acknowledge this fact, causing Harry to smile.

"Of course brainstorming involves getting drunk!" He answered him mother's ridiculous query. "Luna once settled on using a guitar solo to overcome a multi-octave soul rending ward! That's not the kind of solution one comes up with when sober."

"Oh" the emerald eyed woman said. "Okay then."

A little time past with the group idly discussing various related and unrelated topics with one another. Lily was enjoying her son's company, as she'd not really had much chance to get to know him. One being dead while the other was alive, mostly making spending time together a little more difficult than it ought to have been.

Hermione bounced into the room a little late, happiness just radiating off her.

"Okay, what's happened?" Harry asked his oldest friend.

"What makes you think something happened…" She began defensively. At his eyebrow raise she gave it up as a bad job. "I'm an animagus!" She squealed.

"Really?" Tam asked, sharing her excitement. "I thought you weren't in touch with your animal form enough to begin learning."

"That was last year," the brunette waved off her girlfriends concerns "Professor McGonagall had me take the Animagus Revealing Potion again this evening, and I had a vision."

"So what may I ask is your form Hermione?" Albus asked, a little caught up in his Apprentice's exuberance.

"Yeah kiddo, spill!" Tonks commanded.

Hermione got a bit antsy, looked about the room, avoided her girlfriend's eyes, and did not reply.

"What?" Harry asked.

"My form is just too funny." She confessed with an uncharacteristic giggle. Sirius' eyes lit up and Harry was about to prod, but she cut across them both. "Put a bunch or privacy, silencing, and obfuscation wards on Tam and I'll tell you … I want it to be a surprise once Professor McGonagall teaches me to fully transform."

There were a few tilted heads and confusion. Tamsyn did not look pleased, and loudly protested against being kept out of the loop. Eventually the redhead was surrounded by all the requested privacy wards, light, dark, gray, bright, and neutral in nature. Confusion curses, misdirection, notice-me-not variants, and overlapping spells the kind of which were used in the most twisted of brothels.

Basically, even with a month's preparation, and armed with the Elder Wand, Tam was _not_ going to be able to eavesdrop on the conversation. After triple checking the wards Hermione confessed to her unfortunately appropriate animal form:

"I am a Mongoose animagus."

The room laughed at the Heir of _Slyherin_'s misfortune.

','

The group kicked back and relaxed for a while, throwing out a few truly awful ideas on how to defeat Voldemort, and basically needling Tam by refusing to share Hermione's animal form. Dumbledore must have been drinking before he even entered the room because he kept going on and on about utilising the _power of love_ to take down the Dark Lord. His rationale being that thanks to all his ritualistic mutilations, Voldemort was incapable of feeling the emotion.

Fine.

Harry had in fact _already_ defeated Voldemort once using this method, as he kept reminding the old man. Luna had almost died doing it for Merlin's sake! Nevertheless Albus wouldn't leave it alone, and kept drawing the conversation back to _weaponized love_ being the only solution.

"I think I've had enough." Lily said, putting down her third empty glass. "I've been feeling all sickly and nauseous for days now. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"I'm telling you it's easy…" Harry said to Tam from the other side of the table, as Bellatrix fired a spell at his mother. "…You go _'Hey Flighty, doesn't Mars look really bright tonight' _and then when he looks up I bash his brains in using a shovel from behind!"

"Okay, firstly that won't work." Tam commented, tossing an empty can negligently over her shoulder. "You cannot believe for one moment a shovel impact would be strong enough to harm the body he's using."

From the other side of the table Bella lets out a "Huh, blue." Before casting the same spell on herself, with the same result. Blue.

Harry frowned at his brother's comment. "I bashed his brains in with a wandlessly summoned Gravestone once. You were there at the time!"

"Yeah, but I'd been charged with collecting _'Blood of the Enemy'_ from you…" Tam informed "…and you'd been spending most of your energy mouthing off, talking about what a smashing idea resurrecting Voldemort was, and that you'd always wanted to make a difference in evil."

"So?"

"Think Trials. The first two bodies I created for Voldemort were incredibly weak because _you_ didn't really see yourself as his enemy." The redhead told him as if it were obvious. "The one he's currently using has Amelia Bones' blood running through its veins, and _she_ most certainly thought of herself as an enemy of the Dark Lord."

"Oh, yeah that makes a kind of sense." Harry admitted. "So the shovel idea is out then?"

Lily finally noticed her belly was glowing the exact shade of blue as Bellatrix. "What's going on?" She asked in confusion.

"Congratulations." The tiger animagus said happily "You're pregnant."

"I'm what?" Lily screeched.

"She's what?" Harry, Sirius, and probably a few others yelled together at the same instant.

"Pregnant." Bella repeated simply.

"How can she _possibly_…"

"How can I _possibly_…"

It was right then that Harry noticed his mother was not the only person glowing blue. About an hour's worth of sputtering ran through the Vorpal Bunny's mind over the course of the next five seconds. "But I thought Hogwarts put Contraceptive Potion in all the food?" He said aloud "Only, I'd just recovered from death, so there was none in my system." He finished to himself with a small nod.

Everyone was looking between Harry, Lily and Bellatrix. As he swiftly came to several conclusions at once, then proceeded to take them all in stride, Harry voiced "If it was you Sirius, I'm going to kick your arse!"

Fleur and Hermione were both wide eyed and spoke together "You and Bellatrix are going to have a baby?"

"Two actually." Bella threw in. "I caught pregnancy the first time Harry got re-birthed as well."

"Wait." Hermione slashed into the conversation again. "That doesn't even make sense. Harry's first re-birth was at the end of July, you'd be more than six months through by now if what you're saying is true."

"Yes." Bella agreed negligently.

"Explain." Harry stated. He didn't know how either, but something told him he was going to like it.

"Harry is always getting himself into dangerous situations, and I didn't think he'd want me dragging an unborn baby into fights when I'm protecting him." She stated as though this was obvious. Which it kind of was, and it was even true that Harry wouldn't think it a good idea.

"So you killed it?" Hermione asked appalled.

"What? No." Bella started. "I stuck it in the Squib."

"…"

Harry started laughing, a full belly laugh which caused a number of the people in the room to look at him strangely.

"The Squib?" The, as yet un-transformed, Mongoose animagus asked.

"Sh-, She's," Harry tried haltingly to get out, over his sniggering. "She's talking about Filch."

"Oh, that's funny." Tam said joining in the laughter. Spotting Hermione's glare she changed her mind "Tragic! Oh, that's so tragic. That's what I meant to say."

His mother, momentarily thrown from thoughts of her own imminent child, asked "How can a man…?"

"He won't be the first guy to take a kid to term."

"He won't?" Hermione asked incredulously.

"Hell no, it happens all the time."

"It does?"

"Yeah. Sticking kids in Squibs is pretty common too…" Sirius said. "…I highly doubt cousin Narcissa would _'defile'_ her body that way."

"She didn't." Bellatrix put in.

"If it's a girl we have to name it Rose." Harry said, controlling her giggles.

"Aww, but Blacks always name their children after star constellations." She pouted, fluttering her big purple eyes.

"Sorry, but I decided when I was seven that my eldest daughter would be named Rose, when I used to tend the flowers in my aunt's garden." Harry began. "And it's an Evens family tradition to name girls after flowers."

"Oh, okay Harry." She readily agreed. "So if they're boys you'll let me name them after astrological phenomenon?"

"Sure."

"Thanks Harry."

Hermione's brain had slipped into neutral gear. Harry was about to be the father of two children, despite being a year younger than she was. Somehow he didn't seem all that concerned about it, even though in her opinion, Harry was by far the most immature person in the whole world! Men can become pregnant in the magical world apparently. The kid already had a name! And Lily was pregnant too…

"So are we fighting then?" Harry asked his godfather.

"It wasn't _me_!" Sirius protested.

"It wasn't _anyone_!" Lily screamed.

"So you're carrying the second coming of Jesus?" Harry asked his mother sarcastically.

"No, the last person I had sex with was James three months ago. Erm, fifteen years ago?"

"Did you rape and Obliviate my mother Snape?" He asked pointedly "Because that really _is_ something I'll have you tortured into insanity for!"

"I've not been Obliviated!" She attested "I'm too good at Occlumency for that."

"So, you're saying that you carried a kid through your death?" Harry asked dubiously. Thinking it through he decided that was probably possible. "Cool. I have a new brother or sister. Is it too late for Gender Forcing? I already have a brother, so can you make sure it's a girl?"

','

Harry woke suddenly, and the second thing he noticed was a stampede of rhinoceros' rampaging through his brain, in the fifteenth worst hangover he'd ever had. The _first_ thing he'd noticed upon waking was a soft pair of lips wrapped around the base of his… The _third_ thing he noticed was that the person who woke him was Pans Parkinson.

Fuck!

What the hell happened last night?

Okay. Backtrack. They'd been in the Cum and Go… _Come_ and Go Room! And they were trying to cum up with good Voldemort battling ideas. Oh, and Harry arrived at something totally obvious, which none of the others had even considered. There was some other stuff they wanted to do first, but Harry decided it was only a matter of time before Voldemort was toast!

Harry clenched his eyes shut and tried to ignore what was happening below his waist in the waking world.

Bella and Lily and Filch were all pregnant. He remembered that. And Bella said the dates matched so that as soon a Filch gave birth, she could stick her second kid back into the caretaker straight away … Hermione hadn't liked that, and liked it less when she found out the hate filled man's _permission_ hadn't even been _asked_!

They'd all started drinking in earnest, coming up with baby names. Harry remembered that much, and remembered everyone vetoing his suggestion they name one of the kids after the Horsehead Nebula.

…

'Oh Gods, Merlin, and Circe.' Harry thought, as he went Vesuvius into his hateful companion. 'I remember what happened!'

…

_They were all laughing and joking, drinking a whole lot more than was necessary, and generally roughhousing in a boisterous alcohol quaffing kind of way. It was fun._

"_How about: Severus Vernon Potter?" Tam suggested, once more applying a subtle Shrinking Charm to Hermione tight while blouse._

"_No, No. It needs to start with an 'A,' so his initials will be ASP. 'Cos he'll be a filthy Slytherin, and _Asp _is a kind of snake, get it?" Harry said laughing. "Adolf Severus Potter!"_

"_Why are you trying to ruin your younger brother's life before he's even born?" Lily asked, hiding her amusement._

"_Because _you _need to Gender Force a sister for me." Harry replied unashamedly. "I'd love the opportunity to be all protective and intimidating toward all her annoying admirers once she's old enough…" Harry _accidently _sprayed Hermione's tight white blouse with _'Vinomenti,' _soaking her in fine red wine. "…and I never got to do that with Hermione because I actually _like _Tam!"_

_Hermione stylishly rubbing away most of the dark red liquid, and showing all the guys some pretty admirable assets -thanks mostly to the stealthily Vanishing of her bra- she scowled attractively at Harry. "Keep it up and I'll ruin your evening!"_

"_Yeah, what you gonna do?" The green eyed man asked, too drunk to stop himself poking a sleeping Dragon._

"_Fine!" She stomped over to Fleur, grabbed her wrist and dragged her across the room, then forced her hand into Harry's. "Shake." She commanded._

_Harry gripped the French woman's hand in bemusement, and Hermione cast some spell. Cords of light became visible and Hermione smiled in triumph. "What did you do?"_

"_Oh, _I _didn't do anything. _You _did." She said with a terrifying smile._

"_What?"_

_Albus came over on unsteady legs, squinted, then declared "Congratulations!"_

"_Je ne te comprend pas" Fleur voiced her confusion._

"_I thought so, ever since you told me the full story." Hermione said smugly. "You interrupted a magical wedding. And Magic is all about intent."_

"_Ri-ight." Harry drew out the word._

"_So when you said the Vows Harry, I suspected you really _meant _them. _Intending _to take the woman you love as your bride." The evil schoolgirl said with a smile "And _she _did the same, really _wanting _to marry the boy with those mischievous eyes… even if he _did _look like Malfoy."_

"…"

"_Sorry, what exactly are you saying to me?" Harry asked._

"_Well Harry, Fleur…" Hermione started, fulfilling her promise to ruin his evening. "…allow me to be the second to congratulate you both on your marriage."_

…

"_What?"_

"…"

"…"

"_She's not my wife!"_

"_He's not my husband!"_

_Harry and Fleur screamed together at the exact same moment._

"…"

_Mrs. Potter and Mr. Delacour looked at one another for an instant. At the same time as Sirius, Tam, Hermione, and surprisingly Lily, all said together "This is going to be so much fun."_

…

Harry came back to the present.

It hadn't been too long after that, Harry stomped toward the Slytherin Dormitories. He'd used a trick Tam taught him of and yelled _§Through my veins runs the Noble Blood of Salazar Slytherin. I demand access to his house§ _using Parseltongue.

Opening the door to the Slytherin Common Room in such an obvious way was something Harry wished he'd known in Second Year, nevertheless he grabbed Parkinson from her place by the fire, threw her swearing form over his shoulder, and dragged her to his private rooms.

The sex had been pretty fucking incredible actually.

','

It was late April and Draco Malfoy was seated in a comfortable high backed chair in his Ancestral Home. Things for the most part had been going quite well. Hogwarts was still under siege and there were occasional attacks on Death Eaters, but overall the Dark Lord and his organisation were the unquestioned rulers of Great Britain.

The Plot with Gerard Delacour had fallen through a little under two months ago, but Malfoy didn't really care all that much. Easy come easy go, he liked the idea mostly for poetic reasons, so the plan falling through wasn't something which bothered him at all.

The Dark Lord himself was visiting which was fairly unusual, as the man mostly preferred to stay in one of his personal strongholds. His being there was unusual but not terribly out of the ordinary. The Godric Founder accompanied him, and even after all these weeks Draco still hadn't gotten used to the man's different body. Apparently it once belonged to a Senior Auror by the name of Gawain Robards, before his capture and subsequent… enlistment.

Godric himself was just as lost in thought as Malfoy, staring down at his 9" Blackthorn and Unicorn Tail Hair wand. Witches and Wizards as a whole spent entirely too much time contemplating there wands, and Godric was no exception. He didn't like the wand attuned to Auror Robards magic.

He didn't like it because it was a constant reminder of how weak he was. Frank Longbottom had been Gods sent, the man had a tremendous magical core, and he felt he'd have been able to match well in a duel with the Master if asked.

Then the blasted boy had killed him.

The system Voldemort had set up allowed the Founders to survive their death. The strongest -or most strategically placed in the case of Lockheart/Salazar- were kidnapped and painstakingly tortured into insanity using the Cruciatus Curse. This was so the subject would not have the necessary Will or Intent to fight Possession by a Horcrux.

The Soul and Personality Fragment in the Objects would take over the subject's body, and use _their_ magical core. This was as a counterpoint to Tamsyn, the Riddle Diary, who had completely abandoned her Object, subsuming and possibly _destroying_ the girl's soul in the process.

Tamsyn could use her _own_ magic, **not** that of the Weasley girl she'd killed. This gave her the potential to match the Master, with enough time and training.

Conversely he Founders _could_ abandon the body they were using, in the event of the host's demise. And incredibly powerful portkey variants were enchanted into the Horcruxes, making them capable of ripping straight through normal Anti-Escape wards. Which was what saved Godric after Châteaux Delacour, and Rowena last year at the City of the Dead's Fall.

So Godric was alive again, which was good. However it made him realise how much he relied upon such immense magical reserves, and this in turn caused him to glare hatefully at the Blackthorn wand Gawain Robards bought so long ago from Ollivander.

Had Godric known he'd be dead for good in less than thirty minutes, he may have possessed a more reasonable attitude.

','


	29. Demons, Daemons, Daimons

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Twenty Nine: Demons, Daemons, Daimons

','

"So there we were right, on the ragged edge," Harry informed excitedly from the back of his Giant Tortoise "Tam's down and quivering. She's a mess yelling _'Save me, save me'_ over and over. Totally in shock like I say…" His companion looked dubious about that but didn't interrupt "…and Greyback's forces are closing in. You remember Grayback? He's a monster out of a horror story, penchant for attacking children, little girls especially. Anyway his pack were surrounding us, and we only have seconds to spare. Padfoot is being treated by Lily, I mean Mum…"

"Mum? You mean Lily Potter?"

"Yeah?"

"She seemed a little young to be your mother when I met her, Harry."

"Well she spent most of the last fifteen years dead, before she got over it…" Harry waved it off as unimportant. "…so were all down except me, and the Werewolves are closing in on all sides…"

"Werewolves?"

"Yeah, Grayback and his pack were werewolves. Did I not mention that?"

"No."

"Well they were." He said offhandedly "Anyway, just as I'm about to go down swinging, there she was, like a Valkyrie straight out of Norse mythology. And she's at the head of an entire army, and her forces sweep past me on either side, clashing dramatically with the Werewolves. Fleur is just standing there backlit against the sun, looking the flawless goddess. Coming to our aide just in the nick of time, and the most dramatic moment…"

"I have to say, the briefings regarding the goings on in the magical world seem far more exciting when you give them Harry."

"Yeah, it _was_ totally awesome!"

This was one of the things she'd gotten them to agree to after being summoned to explain the whole _'setting of nuclear weapons'_ thing. Harry or one of his friends were to come periodically and explain to the Queen what was really going on with her Magical subjects.

The unexpected upshot from Harry's point of view, was that he actually _liked_ the woman. She was sarcastic in a similar way to Professor McGonagall. And even though _'Liz'_ never admitted it, Harry was certain she found the theft of her Rolls Royce funny, in that it was so hard to believe _anyone_ would have the temerity to do such a thing at all!

"Yes, quite. It is simply that the majority of the reports I listen too are dry and focused primarily on facts, rather than dramatics." The British monarch commented.

He thought this over "Well if you want that kind of story in the future I'll be happy so send over Hermione or something" Harry said before absently finishing "She'll probably treat it like homework though."

"Not at all, it is quite refreshing. So then what happened?"

"Oh, well we won obviously, only now Hogwarts in under siege. The Dark Lord, you can't call him V- anymore because of the Taboo, he's in command of the magical government. My Mum's pregnant with my father's child and we're hoping for a girl. Bella is too, and I accidently got married during the exciting rescue…

…Anyway, I gotta go. Tam came up with a good idea the other day, and we have some stuff to do. See you when I see you."

"…"

There was a crack of Dissapparition.

"What? Pregnant, in charge of the magical-, married? Damn it Harry!"

','

"The Orb of Danzalthar?" Harry asked. The thing sounded as though it had potential, if Tam's description was accurate.

"We're not doing it!" Hermione declared as the small group walked through the airship.

"Do we even know where the Orb of Danzalthar is currently located?"

"I've told you No! We're not doing it." Hermione protested again. "You all promised that we aren't the evil side of this war. Remember?"

"I've got a pretty good idea yeah." Tam said, ignoring her girlfriend.

"Hello? Are you listening to me?" She screeched "No. I do not want to be any part of this."

Harry looked her over speculatively. "Would you prefer we sacrifice a bunch of Virgins like the book tells us too?"

"No. I'd prefer you didn't do it at all!"

"Well someone has to do it." Bellatrix stated the obvious. "I think finding this Orb of Danzalthar is pretty reasonable."

"Just because you had the idea does_not_ mean you **have** to do it!" The brunette said slowly and precisely.

"Now you're being ridiculous Hermione." Harry commented. "And you aren't helping Bella dear, not until you can stick the little bun in someone else's oven."

"Aww, c'mon…" the tiger animagus whined "I'll be really, really careful."

"No." Harry said firmly approaching the wooden ship's wheel which steered Caerbannog. "Where we headed then Tam?"

"Baden-Württemberg, southwestern Germany." The redhead answered.

"'Ze Black Forest?" Fleur half asked, half stated. These were the first words spoken in Harry's presence since the whole marriage revelation, and the caused him to rub his jaw in remembrance. The messy haired sixteen year old had made a tactless comment basically saying that, as they were married, maybe it would be best if they go consummate their relationship.

She'd hit him pretty hard, loosening three and knocking out one of his teeth. A mean right cross was just one of the things Harry wouldn't admit to liking about the woman.

The upshot caused him to do something he regretted, -and he always did regret any and all time spent with Parkinson- just to prove how much he _didn't_ need the French girl.

"Cool." Harry concluded simply bringing the ship about. "Remind me to pick up a Cuckoo Clock and one of those famous gateaux while we're there."

','

That would have gone so much smoother had Luna been with them. Harry knew that to his bones. He didn't mention it aloud though, because his mulishly insisting the woman was still alive caused his companions to irritatingly look at him with _sympathy_. Which he really didn't like at all.

"What the hell happened to you guys?" Bella wailed on first catching sight of their battered appearance.

"Boating accident?" Harry replied irrelevantly.

Yeah, the whole group was covered in pretty blatant cuts, bruising, and injuries. And in Harry's expert opinion it was mostly Fleur's fault. What in the hell possessed the woman to try distract those zombie ninjas using a Fan Dance of all things he'd never know. She caught him looking at her and correctly guessed what he'd been thinking.

"I said eet before, eet seemed like a good idea at 'ze time!"

"Against Zombie Ninjas?"

"Shut up 'Arry, eet worked didn't eet?"

"Barely." He admitted. "It barely worked. It really _shouldn't_ have worked though!"

"I am more impressed at how Hermione managed to stop those spiky walls from closing in around us. I mean, you saw it but it _was_ kind of unbelievable." Tam muffled beneath the thick bandages wrapped around her head, jaw, and eye. "Just in the nick of time too. Stupid trapdoor!"

"Wasn't that big of a deal actually," Hermione said with fake modesty "the most difficult part was outrunning that big spherical boulder which was chasing me."

"That was not my fault."

"I am not saying you did it on purpose Harry. Only that outrunning the thing was hard."

Seeing the group was injured but sniping at one another, Bellatrix concluded they would all be fine. "Did you obtain the Orb of Danzalthar at least?" She asked interested, as she set about healing Harry's injuries _again_. The boy just couldn't keep himself out of trouble without her there looking after him.

The boy in question reached into a magically expanded pocket and wandlessly summoned the Orb they had gone to such lengths to obtain. It was barely small enough to fit in the palm of Harry's large hands, and glowed ethereally as if from some unimaginable depth. "Ooh, pretty." While not exactly appropriate, nevertheless this description was quite accurate.

"Wait." Harry said, eyes going wide. "Where are Tonks and Sirius?"

"Gods we didn't leave them floating in the..."

"Yeah, I think we did."

','

Tonks and Sirius were fine. Padfoot actually thought it was funny, but the metamophmagus was quite snippy with Harry especially. She wasn't happy they'd left her behind, but physically she was okay.

The Caravel of Caerbannog's crew currently consisted of only seven people; Harry was the Captain, and Bellatrix his first mate because she was the only one willing to wear the pirate costume. Hermione and Tam both flatly refused so they were relegated to swabbing the decks, a pastime Harry was unsure as to neither the purpose nor the methodology. Sirius was map-guy, or as he preferred to call himself Cartographer or Navigator pretty much interchangeably. And Tonks was Quartermaster, mostly in charge of ensure a healthy blood alcohol level for the rest of the crew.

Fleur for whatever reason protested her obvious designation of ship's Buxom Wench, but as she refused to wear the totally _not_ trampish costume either, Harry ignored her remonstrations.

As they were in no real hurry to return to the Castle, the path back to the airship's hiding place on the Shetland Islands took three fairly restful days. As restful as any time spent in close proximity with Harry at any rate. During the trip Harry had not got a chance to see the inside of Fleur's new room even once, and it was not for lack of trying.

So a few days later the small group portkeyed as close to Hogwarts as they could and got on with breaking back into the School. For a full mile around Hogwarts wards were a secondary set of wards, preventing easy ingress and egress for the witches and wizards of both sides. The House-Elves were capable of bringing in food and supplies, so it wasn't like they were trying to starve everyone out. Instead they were in place to prevent reinforcements and positioning in any kind of simple way, while Voldemort's Curse Breakers chipped away at the millennia old protections.

He even had Phoenix Wards.

Where in the hell the Dark Lord was getting so many of those from was a mystery. The only set in the British Isles before the Second War began were on Azkaban Island, and had been stolen by Voldemort himself when he'd broken Bella and the imprisoned Death Eaters out two summers ago, then were subsequently destroyed by Harry's Nuclear Bomb.

The reason Phoenix Wards were so rare was simple. The cost of constructing them was around the same as training and outfitting an entire Auror Battalion. So the question as to where in the name of Circe's soggy panties Voldemort was getting them from was quite pertinent.

The upshot was that they could not portkey directly to the Headmaster's Office, nor could Hermione ask Fawkes to fyreflash them to their destination.

Oh, and it wasn't just powerful wards between them. There were some Death Eaters, and some Death Eater controlled Ministry people, and several Goblin Regiments, and the army of Dementors, and a double handful of Giants. Oh, and at least one Founder, and possibly Voldemort himself. The Dark Lord had taken to camping out with his forces sometimes, so he may well be there too.

Surprisingly enough Harry did not think this was all that much of a big deal, he was Master of the coolest Hallow after all, and so the only threat he believed to be actually dangerous was the Dementors. Dementors being creatures which could _sometimes_ detect him when under the Cloak's protection, if his experience visiting Bellatrix in Azkaban was still valid.

It would eventually turn out that this experience _wasn't_ valid, and that the Dementors only became shirty and disagreeable because they could detect the missing prisoner. But they didn't know it, so the plan remained the same.

"Come on then ya scabrous curs, Patronus up. _Expecto Patronum!_"

The group kind of looked at him a little funny but eventually began repeating his Incantation.

"_Expecto Patronum!"_ A giant Grim-like Dog from Sirius.

"_Expecto Patronum!"_ An elegantly majestic Hawk from the beautiful Fleur.

"_Expecto Patronum!"_ An Otter of all things from Hermione.

"_Expecto Patronum!"_ A gigantic Viper from Tam.

"_Expecto Patronum!"_ A well defined Chameleon from Tonksy.

"_Expecto Patronum!"_ And of course, identical to Harry's own, a powerful Royal Bengal Tiger from Bellatrix.

Harry closed his eyes and felt out at to the variable magic in the air, holding his Patronus wandlessly with little more than a thought. He reached out at Bellatrix construct and the two Tigers began wrestling with one another. Once he got the feel of holding both he reached out to the Hawk, and the avian began playfully dive bombing the felines. Grim, Otter, Chameleon, and Viper, took him the better part of a quarter hour but eventually Harry was comfortable he could hold them all.

"Okay, I've got it." He said with confident green eyes. "Now you're up."

The others began transfiguring themselves into small inanimate objects, and eventually Sirius went Padfoot form and took the other five in his mouth. They were all stuffed into Harry's magically expanded pocket along with the shrunken dog animagus.

It took a fair amount of concentration to hold seven Patroni all on one's own, but Harry managed as he wrapped himself in the Cloak of Invisibility, and began trotting toward Hogwarts Castle. He had probably a five mile run ahead of him and could only hope his passengers' innate magic didn't reverse the transfigurations before he reached his destination.

It wasn't exactly what you would call a subtle infiltration, with seven shining guardians blazing happiness, galloping, swooping, and padding their way through the enemy lines. However the Patroni were spread out, so could only give a rough indication of where Harry was, and concealed beneath his Hallow Harry could focus simply on his feet and destination.

It had worked when they escaped the blockade last week.

','

Life in the castle sucked Merlin's saggy balls. This was due entirely to Hermione _'Satan'_ Granger, and her big stupid mouth, and said big stupid mouth's unapologetic blabbing of things which would be best kept to herself. She'd done it at pretty much her first opportunity on returning to Hogwarts following their cruise to southwestern Germany and back.

She, Satan Granger, had informed everyone in Hogwarts who would listen, that Harry and Fleur were now married. And as an upshot of this, Harry could find nobody at all who would sleep with him. Not Tracy Davis, who'd finally taken his advice and gotten herself a real boyfriend. None of the giggling fangirls he usually stayed clear of, Poppy had turned him down. Not even Pansy Parkinson!

That last made Harry shudder thinking about it.

It was like he was a fucking leaper for gods' sake. And the worst part of the whole thing was Hermione's, unfortunately accurate, assertion that Luna would agree with her if she was still alive. Because let's face it, Luna would find the whole turn of events incredibly amusing, and use it to needle him about Fleur.

They'd been back _weeks_ now, weeks! Mostly working through the primary plan, but with a healthy dose of revenge attempts against Hermione, most of which were foiled or violently made to backfire thanks to the Riddle bitch who had Hermione's back.

Weeks!

He was a fucking _Rabbit_ animagus, and as such was starting to think he'd be dead soon. It was like when Padfoot ran out of dog biscuits, and became completely unreasonable.

"Morning Harry," the godforsaken brunette chirped happily "isn't it such a fine and pleasant morning?"

His green eyes narrowed malevolently. He took in her bright smile, slight sheen of sweat, and a barest hint of a well remembered and much lamented scent.

"You've just finished having sex haven't you!"

"I do not know what you are talking about Harry."

"Yeah, you have." his eyes widened in realisation "And you came down here _specifically_ to rub it in my face. God I hate you so much Hermione."

"Well, you know you could start acting a little nicer, and maybe then you would have an honest shot at seducing your wife."

"SHE IS NOT MY WIFE!" He roared for the hundredth time.

"Whatever you say Harry." The bitch had the balls to roll her eyes. "Anyway, I have come up with yet another reason for you to change your mind about this stupid plan of yours."

Visibly restraining himself from practicing the Cruciatus on his friend, the two moved off to the room they'd been spending most of their time in since recovering the Orb of Danzalthar from its protections... The Chamber of Secrets.

Tamsyn's plan required a fair amount of preparation, and it involved pretty archaic magic. So the little used Chamber beneath Hogwarts seemed the best place to perform it. Slytherin's secret room was steeped in ancient magic as was the rest of the Castle, however the _feel_ of it now Harry knew what he was looking for, had such a raw intensity he was amazed not to have noticed back when he was a Second Year.

Unlike the rest of Hogwarts School, the Chamber of Secrets' inherent magic was virtually unchanged and unused since the time of the real Founders.

It also helped that Salazar Slytherin was renowned for his Mastery of the Dark Arts, because what he and Tam were doing was unmistakably Dark. With absolutely no shred to hide behind which might allow them to argue otherwise.

This was what had Hermione's panties in such a bunch.

"We've already made up our minds Hermione." Harry said as though talking to a small child. "After everything we went through to get that fool Orb, I can't believe you want us to stop now."

They passed Myrtle and descended the _§Stairs§_

"You could use it for something else. It is a powerful magical artefact."

"It is an interweaving nexus of soul energy Hermione. Are you honestly trying to convince me there is some use for it that you _would_ condone?"

The answer to that question was of course a resounding _'No'_ but the brunette would not say so aloud as it would be a step back in her attempts to get them to stop what they were doing. Hermione was therefore silent as they arrived at the huge table in the middle of the main room, being stared at by the massive statue of the simian looking Hogwarts Founder.

Harry was doing Arithmancy. Yeah, he was sitting in the long forgotten Chamber with a ball point pen and other stationary supplies bought from a Muggle supermarket, essentially doing _maths_. And the perverse nature of the world Harry lived in, caused neither to comment on the ridiculousness of conducting Daemon Raising calculation's with a pen labelled _'Morrisons.'_

"I really don't want to be on the same side as people who Summon Daemons Harry." His friend eventually complained.

He simply nodded, his wild raven hair even messier than usual. "Are you going to help with the carving? I'm still bloody rubbish at Runes."

"Of course she is." Tam spoke brightly. Looking up from his work Harry noticed she had sweat matted hair and absolutely _stank_ of sex. She'd blatantly refused to wash herself off just to taunt him.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

','

So now Harry, Tam, and a recently de-pregnanted Bellatrix were in Wiltshire, taking in the damp air of late April. They were fairly confident in the plan, and had taken steps to prevent the worst from happening. They were intending to Summon one of the Lost Ones, and basically point it in the right direction, hoping that the path of destruction would cause huge losses to the Death Eaters _without_ causing too much collateral damage.

It would hopefully act as a blow to their enemies' moral as well.

Now the last time someone had successfully attempted something like this, as far as they knew, was back in the forties. Grindelwald had let one loose in France to cause random chaos and destruction. It had taken Albus Dumbledore, Edgar Bones, and Nicolas Flamel all working together, considerable effort to kill the thing.

There were several reasons Harry was going along with Tam's obviously evil idea. This was easily a full order of magnitude _more_ evil than most of Riddle's questionable ideas, yet Harry was helping rather than siding with Hermione and Albus, as he normally would in this type of situation.

Firstly, if all hell actually did break loose and the Daemon went totally out of control, Harry was confident his brother and he could kill it themselves _before_ innocent people got hurt. So they were prepared to dispatch it should that become necessary.

Secondly, while they'd promised Snape _not_ to kill Draco Malfoy on purpose, they _hadn't_ promised to avoid setting up a situation where he might die as a happy side effect. They were technically targeting Godric and the Sword Horcrux who just happened to be residing in Malfoy Manor.

And the third reason Harry was going along with the idea was because he was quite confident Voldemort was powerful enough to kill the thing himself without much trouble. Depressing but true, and Harry was not the type to underestimate his opponents.

Tam admitted wanting to Raise a Daemon for years. It was one of those residual _'I once wanted to be a Dark Lord' _things which cropped up from time to time. And so she knew just where to find explicit guidelines on how to do it successfully. She quite swiftly came through with an imaginatively titled tome:

Demons, Daemons, Daimons  
by Wendy Darling

They were unsure if it was a pseudonym, or if Wendy Darling from Peter Pan was a real person, and she studied Daemons in her spare time. Harry liked to think the latter. Nobody was surprised by this attitude from the Bunny animagus.

The main problem they had with this book, other than the crappy title, was the demand for them to sacrifice the immortal souls of twenty four virgins during a full moon. They'd immediately vetoed the idea of tracking down two dozen _evil_ virgins, and instead gone in search of a pretty bauble of myth and legend. The Orb of Danzalthar.

And even now they had no idea who or what Danzalthar actually was or had been.

A bare bones explanation of Daemon Summoning would be that they intended to use the soul energy present in the Orb to blast open a Portal to some evil nether universe parallel to the mortal plane. The creatures which existed there, according to Tam, really _liked_ living in our plane of existence for whatever reason, so once the Portal was open all they had to do was wait for one of them to walk through.

Harry and Tam were not naïve enough to believe they could control the otherworldly abomination, so had opted to open the Portal near Malfoy Manor and point the creature in the right direction. It would be Godric's problem once through, and they would just sit back and watch.

"Master Harry Potter sir, I haves completed my missions"

"Thank you Dobby." Harry replied neutrally "What is the word?"

"Masters Draco and Godric, and the Dark Lord are all in residence at bad Master's Manor." The excitable little creature informed with a squawk.

"Excellent. You may go back to Hogwarts." Just before he popped away Harry asked "Did you warn the other House-Elves to get out too?"

"Yes Master Harry Potter sir, Dobby did like you said." Then a pop and the Elf was gone.

Harry, Tam and Bella all cut their forearms and began the ridiculously grandiose chant, dripping blood onto the Rune Stone Hexagram. The most difficult part of this entire plan was not obtaining the Orb of Danzalthar from the Black Forest. It wasn't all those 'root two over cosec squared' Arithmancy calculations. Nor was it the rare ingredients and stone carving they'd done in the Chamber of Secrets.

No, tracking down an illegal Elf Dealer and getting him to free that mental critter which was always trying to kill him back in Second Year. _That _was the most irritating part! For obvious reasons they didn't want to loose a Daemon on their enemies without first checking said enemies were in residence.

Sixty six seconds of chanting and the Orb cracked open.

As did a tear in creation itself.

Something quite large crawled out.

','

Lord Voldemort swept into the room housing Draco and the Godric Founder, but just as he was about to issue commands he felt an almighty surge of Dark Magic not one mile away. The other two felt it also, and exchanged a look before moving over to the large window overlooking the grounds. They witnessed something which defied belief.

Three or four times as large as Fleur's Horntail during the Tri-Wizard Tournament, the silvery skinned monstrosity was armed by powerful wings, jet black claws, and a long serpentine tail. It had _three heads_ and eyes glistening with redemptive judgement.

"Wha-" Malfoy began, but was interrupted by a high sibilant laugh.

"This should be interesting." The Dark Lord said with a terrible smile. "Stay here unless you have good reason to do otherwise."

','

"But I thought we were Summoning a Daemon?" Pretty Bella asked in confusion. "That looks more like a Dragon, or a Hydra or something."

"Yeah." Harry agreed. "What do you think Tam?"

"I think it's a Nova Dragon." She said eventually. "But I've never heard on one with-"

"-three heads." Harry interrupted. "Me neither."

The three sat watching for a while.

"Down there," Bella pointed, still looking through her Omnioculars "someone's moving toward it."

Harry zoomed in on the area in question. "Yeah, that's Flighty alright. Go Snowball go!"

"Snowball?" The redhead asked.

"Three heads, all spurting superheated dragonfire." Harry said "Snowball seems as appropriate a name as any."

"Go Snowball go!" Bellatrix squeed.

','

Voldemort was casting up a storm. He'd taken to the air and found he was far more manoeuvrable in flight than his adversary. Nevertheless he'd hardly injured the creature at all. The Nova Dragon's hide was seemingly impenetrable and the Foe Hammer he'd crashed into its underbelly had splashed over it causing little more than irritation.

He lost his metallic foot to a triple blast of dragonfire in the early stages but as he was still in the air this injury mattered little. What was annoying however was the tremendously powerful slap he'd taken from one of the creature's arms. Voldemort had lost consciousness on impact and woke several seconds later at the bottom of a large crater his body had doubtlessly created.

The Dark Lord could honestly say he was having a great time.

He lashed out a bullwhip of stygian energy and once again took to the skies.

','

'_Fsshhh-t'_

Tam and Bella looked over at him as he unashamedly cracked open a can.

"Want one?" Harry asked, careful to ensure the blood dripping from his left arm did not slow.

"Got any crisps to go with it?" The redhead asked, going back behind her Omnioculars.

"Yeah." He tossed a can and a bag of crisps to the otherside of the Hexagram, then went back to watching Voldemort battling the Nova Dragon.

The Dark Lord had been going at it for a while now and seemed to be doing well.

','

He'd got a wing off, and managed to slay one of the heads, but the abominable creature looked to be on the winning side. Voldemort cracked open his one remaining eye and came to the only decision he could under the circumstances.

He was Lord Voldemort. The most powerful wizard in history. There was no way he would allow such an opponent to defeat him.

He banished the Yggdrasill and Wizard Heartstring wand using a portkey variant and focused internally on his magic. A palpable increase in the ambient magic was the first sign. The Visible Aura glowing emerald and sliver the second. A colossal conclave of dread and power the third.

When the Nova Dragon struck to finish the wizard once and for all, Voldemort detonated his Core.

The explosion not only killed the Summoned monster but levelled Malfoy Manor.

','

"Bloody hell but that was awesome!" Harry said behind a hastily cast Bunker Shield on the far side of the valley.

"Poor Snowball." Tam deadpanned and Bella nodded once. The three cleaned themselves up, healed their cuts, and stowed their gear. It would be a while before they'd learn if it had been successful, and now it was back to Hogwarts.

"I am so glad you have a stupid plan to kill that guy." Tam said before they all Apperated away. "Because it would be years before you or I could fight him even if Albus was at our side."

"You say stupid, I say brilliant." Was Harry's only response. "Do you think Hermione managed to get one of the other Founders?"

"Oh, I am sure she did," Tam replied "Hermione is nothing if not thorough."

"Are we going to go play with little Rose Black now Harry?"

"Sounds like a plan."

','

Greg and Vince were in the room with him and the Founder. Draco sent out orders for the Manor to be evacuated right after the Dark Lord had left. That gigantic Dragon monster with its three heads seemed to the young Malfoy Lord, to be a bad sign. There had only been his Mother and a handful of low ranking Death Eaters, but it struck him as a good idea.

The four were looking out at their Lord as he swooped and dived around the multi-headed creature, firing incredibly powerful spells at it, and taking vicious hits. Godric knew he couldn't do it, not with his weak body and limited magical core. Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle simply took the sight as a matter of course. Malfoy alone looked on with awe, and a rising trepidation.

With the Dark Lord in residence even he, the Lord of Malfoy, could not Apparate under the wards of Malfoy Manor. So when a rising sense of treacherous magic began pressing down on him, he span out the fastest solution he could think of…

"Private floo." He ordered his twin bodyguards "Move now!"

They did without hesitation. Those two were well trained after all, and the fireplace changed from red-orange to the pale blue of emergency fire travel. Then the two vanished with a clockwise spin. The magic began to swell and Malfoy knew he didn't have time.

"You go first, I'm right behind you." He snapped to the Founder, who turned to exit as the others had. This was a mistake because a _Tarantallegra _was nonverbally cast, and the Dancing Jinx hit Godric in the back. Draco's boot stomped into the back of the man's head as he leapt through the flames.

Not a second later there was an explosion powerful enough to destroy the Sword Horcrux.

','

Lens of Sanity  
Thing I liked about this Chapter was the Orb plot coupon. Which in any other story would have been a whole Arc, yet here it all happens off-screen


	30. Ordinary Hogwarts Student

','

You are reading the same story!  
**The events in this Chapter are set during the Summer between Sixth and Seventh Year  
There has been a time-skip, and CH31 will be set **_**before **_**this  
**Enter the twilight zone!

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Thirty: Ordinary Hogwarts Student

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The day of August first dawned as it had yesterday, and as it would tomorrow. The days this summer had been hot and sticky in the mornings, blistering by midday, and dangerous to venture outside by early afternoon. Harry Potter would probably be contemplating the uncomfortable stifle of the atmosphere if not for the fact he was blissfully still cradled in the arms of Morpheus, fast asleep, and dead to the world.

He was sleeping in uncle Sirius' old house of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, as he had been all these long weeks, cooped up part prisoner, unable to leave or have as much fun as he would wish to experience. Not to mention the other problems associated with the incarceration.

There was a sound, cat being stepped on, or car backfiring, Harry would never know. All he knew was that it woke him from his pleasant dream, to a world so safe it was downright boring. His green eyes cracked open and took in the sight of the same ceiling he'd seen yesterday morning, and the morning before, and the morning before that. White plasterwork of artex swirls, single dangling cobweb in one corner, and a black smushy mark he was certain was once a spider.

Harry let out a low sigh of lamentation, it had been a very enjoyable dream, good enough for the boy to be glad of his Occlumency training. He'd not been having the kinds of thoughts a person broadcast to any practicing Legilimens one came into contact with. Rubbing sleep from his eyes and mussing his hair even more than it was already, he apathetically got to his feet, and went to fetch his fluffy dark green dressing gown.

For whatever reason the boy took a few moments to really see the room he was living in, it was at once the familiar abode he slept in all the times he lived in the Ancestral Home of the Blacks, and also gave a strange sense of oddness. The kind gnawing feeling he'd only seen the room for the first time a couple of weeks ago. New, that was the niggling description his brain offered. He shook it off being as unimportant as it was ridiculous.

Shrugging on the dressing gown Harry moved over to his desk and picked up his wand, bought six years ago from Wandmaster Ollivander, and he carefully ran his fingertips with agonising slowness across the soft Holly casing, feeling his magic bridging ever so slightly, longing to couple with the Phoenix Feather of its Core.

A tiny frown graced the seventeen year old's face at this, as it did every morning, each time he performed the little ritual. It had only been this summer that he'd been able to feel the magic of his fingers leap across the tiny gap, eager to join with his wand. Only this summer, and he seemed to know instinctively what was happening with great certainty. Harry frowned because in all the years he'd been using a wand, and attending Hogwarts, he'd never been so in tune with his magic. And he had no idea what had so suddenly changed in him, hence the small frown of incomprehension.

"Hey," he let out a small chuckle "I was seventeen yesterday."

Snatching up his wand a smile banished idle thoughts, as it did the knitting of his brows. He was seventeen, which meant he was finally of age, and allowed to do magic freely when outside of school. He bisected an imaginary triangle and precisely intoned the incantation 'I call' using faux Latin.

"_Accio Photograph!"_

Using his 'Mad Skills' at Chasing, as Olly Wood always used to call them, Harry snatched the photograph in question out the air and carefully placed in on his desk. Turning toward the mirror, he brought his wand up, slashed it toward his mirror self calling "K'Pow!" before bringing the weapon to bear awesomely, parallel to his head.

"What do you think Dad? Potter, Harry Potter, licence to kill." He asked the photograph, who just rolled his eyes. "There is just no pleasing some people." He grumbled.

Harry did not have a single memory of his father. Only proud stories told him by his mother, and tales more bordering on disgraceful from his godfather. James Potter was a hero. One of the real heroes, who fought for what was right, and never gave up when the path turned difficult. He'd died in a futile fight with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, giving his wife and infant son the time they needed to escape, sixteen years ago on a long forgotten Halloween night.

It was mostly due to his father's memory that Harry knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life. Most people his age had some vague idea of what they'd try to accomplish after Seventh Year was complete, they made you think about it during your O.W.L. year after all, but few had the drive of purpose present in Harry.

There was a war going on. Just as there had been all those years ago, when events transpired to end the life of James Potter, and his son could not let himself sit idly by when innocents suffered.

Harry Potter was dead set on becoming an Auror right out of Hogwarts. He would fight the forces of Darkness, as his father had before him. He would do his part to make a difference, help forge a world of Light and Goodness. This decision was half the reason he found being cooped up in the old house so frustrating, the Fidelius protected building being a safe house ever since they'd gotten word the Dark Lord was targeting them specifically.

His birthday was yesterday, and none of his friends could come celebrate with him. He'd tried not to let it get to him, not to let it show, but it really hit him hard. He was only going to become an 'of age' wizard once, and none of his closest friends had been allowed to come to his birthday because it wasn't safe. Yesterday he'd worn a smile his mother saw through, and he knew it wasn't that big of a deal, so he'd done his utmost to be cheerful.

Stuffing the wand in his dressing gown, Harry moved over to the large poster smiling at him brilliantly from the back of his bedroom's door. He really should take that down. He should, but Harry knew he wasn't going too, just like he never took it down when the thought crossed his mind.

He'd even met her once. Well, he'd been in the same room at least. Back when he was a little fourth year, and she was the shining Champion of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. The waist length platinum blonde hair framed the face of an angel, a goddess, the picture of flawless beauty. It was like she'd been built to be the envy of every other woman on earth, and the woman all men aspired to accompany.

The poster had been taken the day Fleur Delacour won the Tournament, proving to the world she was more than just a pretty face. Harry knew he should take the thing down. A guy can dream but it was unhealthy to shoot so high, to think for an instant a woman like that was anything but out of one's league.

Besides, Harry had a girlfriend, one whose photograph was predictably glaring at him. The dark and seductive Ms. Davis and he had been going out since the middle of sixth year, much to his godfather's fake horror. A Griffindor and a Slytherin, uncle Sirius would shake his head at the absurdity, all the while hiding a small smile.

"Stop glaring at me like that Trace, you know you're the only girl for me." Harry told the photograph with a boyish grin.

And it was true, Harry mused as he showered and dressed for the day, she really was the only girl for him. A guy could fantasise about barely real individuals like the Bell of Beuxbatons, but people you truly know in your life, real people, those are the ones which mean the most to you. It was funny but Harry really did love her, he hadn't ever, even once, told a soul of his plan. But becoming an Auror was not the only thing he'd decided on once his final year of school was over.

He intended to ask Tracy to marry him.

They were close, and they'd shared some great times, but he knew this was the one girl he wanted to spend his life with. Harry wasn't like the guys on Griffindor Quidditch Team, he wanted his fist time to be special, with the woman he loved and a Ring on her finger. And Tracy Davis was the woman for him.

Harry was about to go downstairs and see what his Mum had cooked him for breakfast when he caught sight of a dog eared copy of the Alexandre Dumas book, the Count of Monte Cristo. He suddenly felt that itch again, preposterously remembering times long ago, when he'd lived as Edmond Dantès on an Island Prison, incarcerated for a crime he did not commit.

"Je souhaite être la providence moi-même, car je sens que la plus belle noble, chose la plus sublime au monde, est de récompenser et de punir"

Harry spoke a bunch of sounds nonsensically to the air, before ignoring his early morning's inane gibbering, and going in search of some breakfast. He swept down narrow winding stairs, nodded to Phineas Nigellus' portrait who was always so cranky and dying for company, eventually making his way into the kitchen and his shockingly youthful mother. If he didn't know better he'd think his Mum was barely out of Hogwarts, slight of build with the face and mannerisms of a woman who knows she's a bombshell.

He'd never told anyone, but there was a good reason he avoided redheads like the plague, vicariously making out with one's mother was just not on the cards! Hell, a few weeks ago he'd had a sex dream where his Mum had _walked in on him having sex with his her_. How's that for impossible, ludicrous, and paranoid.

"Good Morning Harry," his mother began, looking over at him from across the room, emerald eyes with the same tightness he'd been noticing more and more each day "have a seat, the bacon is almost done."

He did so idly, returning the mornings greeting, and he took stock of the frying pan sizzling with sausage and eggs. A full English, the best thing to start the day. His mother always used a wand when cooking, which Harry never quite got the hang of, the Muggle way always feeling more natural as if from the ease of long practice.

"Why couldn't Hermione come over yesterday?" The boy eventually asked, kicking himself as he did so because he'd been trying to let it go. "Surely she could have gotten a couple hours off. Albus Dumbledore can't be working her around the clock."

Hermione Granger was his closest friend, met on the Hogwarts Express as a hesitant Muggleborn on a Noble Quest to rescue a boy's pet toad, and the two had been inseparable ever since. Well that last was sort of true, the two having been inseparable until early the previous year, when she'd been Apprenticed to the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Harry was actually kind of envious, not of his friends status as _Most Prominent Witch of the Age_, Hermione was everything they said and more, no he was envious of the Headmaster and all the time together he spent with Harry's friend. While Harry had been studying for next year's N.E.W.T.s. and preparing for his future life with the Aurors, Hermione was off learning all the skills and magic Albus Dumbledore could teach her. This left precious little time for the two to simply hang out like they used too.

He supposed it wasn't the kind of invitation a person could turn down though, Dumbledore, the defeater of Grindelwald, had never in all his years taken an Apprentice after all. This didn't change how Harry felt about it however.

"I do not know Harry." Lily Potter said in delicate, feminine tones, all the while filling his plate with deliciously greasy breakfast foods. "You will help with your sister today like you promised?"

"Yeah, no problem. Sarah is great anyway, hardly cries at all unlike aunt Bellatrix kid." He responded after carefully chewing and swallowing the rasher of bacon. Something which occurred to him ages ago but never asked flashed into his mind. "I thought it was supposed to be your side of the family which always names their girl children after flowers, yet my sister is named Sarah and my cousin is named Rose."

"I've never been one for those family traditions. It was more your grandfather's thing." Harry's mother told him, going over to the three week old baby girl fast asleep in her small cot, the same tightness in her eyes Harry could never fully understand.

At first Harry was unsure what to think about the upcoming baby in the family, children didn't just come along out of nowhere, so someone had to have done the honours. But the identity of that someone was never revealed, causing the seventeen year old some understandable speculation.

His money was on one of two close family friends, and Harry really hoped it was one of them and not the other. Either his godfather was closer to his mother than propriety would dictate, or it was Snape. He remembered praying to whatever gods in existence that it wasn't Snape, how the man was a friend of hers Harry could never guess, being an abominable teacher not the least of the problems Harry had with him.

Eventually he concluded that having a younger sister was going to be fun, and he'd someday get the opportunity to act the cool older brother, embarrass people with stories of her when she was young, and all the other good stuff too.

Harry enjoyed his meal in subdued silence for the most part, contemplating as he did so the world, his life, and his place in it. When eating he took the time to talk intermittently with his only parent, attempting to put his best face on the overstressed look on her pretty visage, focusing as he did on how he would help her, rather than hinder.

Somehow, for whatever reason, Harry concluded in his own mind, that the stress his mother was trying valiantly to hide was for reasons other than the obvious. She was once again tending an infant, something she'd not done in more than a decade, but that was not it. Their family was a target of You-Know-Who, a personal target no less, and that was not it either. No, the stress she was hiding, and the tightness of her eyes, it was something he was not being made aware of…

It was a shame Harry was not a member of the Order of the Phoenix. He'd not graduated Hogwarts and so could not join, but at least he was acutely aware of the existence of such an organisation, and that there were things he was not privileged enough to know.

Breakfast finished he thanked his mother and moved off to the one room in Grimmauld Place which made the building worth visiting. The Black Library was such a comprehensive collection of books and scrolls one could get lost in it for years, although some of the tomes were uncomfortably Dark in nature. Harry hated Dark magic, Dark wizards and witches, and anything to do with the Dark Arts. They were evil, and needed to be fought, destroyed utterly, they had no place in the world.

Harry knew this, he believed it, right down to his bones.

He also knew how hypocritical he was for believing so. This was due in its entirety to a single fact; Harry hated Dark magic, and for all but a single infraction, he spurned its use completely.

Staring blankly at an old Dark Defence Force manual, the organisation which became the Aurors in later years, Harry failed to take in any of the recommendations for footwork drills which would keep a person from being hit with an unanticipated curse when caught in a duel. He was distracted, and distracted more than because of his unfathomably tense mother, baby sister, absent girlfriend, or missing best mate.

Actually, thinking of that last, his best mate, Hermione _'the world is my oyster'_ Granger made him smile a little. Hermione would kick his arse if she found out what he'd done, the depths of Dark Arts he'd stooped too, and Harry smiled because he knew he'd done it for all the right reasons. Harry knew he wasn't anything all that special, pretty good in Charms class, and decent with a wand in Defence, but he wasn't the boy who would grow up to set the world on fire.

However being only a little above average did not mean he could not live his life, and live up to the expectations he felt his father's memory deserved. Consequently when he came across some old notes last year he came to a firm and instantaneous decision, the kind of decision which one knew to be right and just, far beyond thoughts of paths paved with good intentions.

Harry wanted his family to be safe.

At any cost if necessary.

The notes he'd found, scribbled and half formed, ideas coalescing yet incomplete, gave him the means by which to achieve his goal. Should the worst happen, and the Dark Lord himself came to call. It had taken him months as his skill in Arithmancy was notably lacking. Yet the spellcrafling and calculations Harry performed, checked and double checked, in secret over the course of his Sixth Year, ended in the success of great accomplishment.

The ritual was not something for anyone with a fragile constitution, performed in the secret room of Hogwarts School. Steeped in that hated feel of Dark Magic, the swirling and the chaos, sickly sweetness which clings to a person long after the deed is done, corruption and evil taken near physical form.

The final stage was the hardest on his soul, but the boy knew one life, his own, was well worth the safety of his close friends and family. It was not like he would be the first nor last to die doing what was right. Harry smiled unknowingly, the smile coming from a place he was not capable of acknowledging, born from a certainty this Dark was done out of Light.

As though fate and destiny intervened, to knock the boy from his idling thoughts, the faint buzz of magic shimmered across his skin. It was the kind of thing, like the bridging of his fingertips and wand, which Harry knew he should not have been able to sense. He was not connected enough with his own magic to feel subtle changes like the buzz which startled him, yet feel it he did, brushing almost playfully against the small hair on the backs of his arms.

Then it got bigger and thicker, gaining menace and intensity, and even a magic blind food would be stupid not to notice.

The wards of House Black were being attacked.

It was strange the emotion which coursed through Harry's veins and across his chest, a feeling not of fear or concern, but cold purpose, airily light and uplifting. He had hoped the entire time things would not come to this, but come to them it did, and the seventeen year old wizard knew what he was going to do.

There were shouts and screams, and Voldemort's magic battered against the protections of this Ancient and Noble House. Harry left his wand behind in the Library he'd been sitting, unneeded as it was for his next noble task. He caught up with his mother, sister held protectively in her grasp, lovingly and fearfully at a single stroke.

"Severus has betrayed us." Lily Potter informed unnecessarily, tightness and stress of her eyes reaching levels never before seen, drawn and grim. "The emergency portkey failed and Apparition Nets are in place."

"I'll hold him off," Harry told his mother, with resolve like an avalanche, as cold as it was unstoppable "perhaps you can get to a broom or something."

A clattering explosion signalled the wards had been breached, splinters of wood and stonework blasting inwards, a chaotic wave of destruction with the Dark Lord in all his serpentine glory backlit by mid-morning sunlight.

"Harry Potter at last you are within my grasp." The man hissed in sibilant tones.

"I will not allow you to hurt them." The boy declared, standing tall and virtuous, a pose of heroic lines.

"Injured as you are it is almost a pity," the Dark Lord spoke to himself, at once wary and hopeful "goodbye Potter boy, your race is run."

Harry did not move or run, or plead for his live, nor for that of his family.

"_Avada Kedavra!"_

As the onrushing beam of green death flew toward him, Harry thought of all those he loved, and all those he wanted kept safe. His mother, the youthful Lily Potter, pretty face and cutting wit. His baby sister, just starting out in the world. Tracy and her smile, the feel of her dark locks between his fingers. And he thought of Hermione, his greatest and best friend, absent though she was, he needed her out of harm's way.

The instant He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's bolt of emerald light hit the boy, a memory shuffled to the fore, impossible in its content. Harry remembered a time in France kissing flawless Fleur Delacour, lips and tongues dancing, desperation and relief, and raw naked desire, then she vanished…

…right as Harry Potter died.

','

Harry was standing with eyes closed, wind whipped around his bare form lightly, kissing skin, ruffling his wild raven hair as it did so. Hesitantly he broke open his eyes, unsure as he did so of what he might find on the other side of the Veil. What welcomed him was hell on earth, a scene straight out of a nightmare, something one half dreamt when alone and scared at four o'clock in the morning.

Everyone he'd ever known, everyone he'd ever met, or seen in passing was surrounding his position up to his thighs in some murky purple liquid. Watching were his mother and godfather, his best friend Hermione, and cousins Tonks and Tamsyn. Albus Dumbledore himself was there, near aunt Bellatrix holding her three month old child, and Fleur Delacour, who was looking right at him.

And he was _naked_!

And she was staring right between his legs, _giggling at him_!

Fleur Delacour was giggling at his painfully hard erection. Harry flushed scarlet, right too his toes, covering himself as best he could and trying to cope with the mortification, embarrassment thick enough he was certain he could die all over again.

"Aww, he's blushing." Hermione said in clear delight. "Can't we leave him like this for a while longer, he's so cute."

Aunt Bellatrix looked at his friend with murderous intent, a viscous brutality behind the eyes, a look Harry could scarcely believe gracing her usually placid face.

"Tempting, but I do not believe it would be the right thing to do." Albus Dumbledore said with a chuckle. "Furthermore, I get the distinct impression Madame Black would take exception to such an arrangement."

"I agree," Fleur Delacour shared her view "it would be amusing I admit, but I do not like 'ze way he looks at me."

The world had gone mad or he was insane, the Dark Magics he'd stooped to having driven him crazy, Killing Curses and Dark Arts the tools of fools, as he'd always known and believed.

"_Obliviate!"_

The spell designed to tear away memories crashed into Harry's Occlumency Barrier with a force he'd never believed possible, crashing, churning, and tearing down the walls, like Jericho once the right note was sounded.

Fifteen inches of pale elder wood were removed from between Harry Potter's eyes once The Block was destroyed.

Then memories returned with thunderous cascades, hammering his mind and soul from each side, a relentless churning of pain and power, rightness returning to the world.

','

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Harry screamed, from his position still naked in the massive Cauldron "That was the single worst experience of my entire life."

He was standing tall and suddenly unconcerned of his state of undress. In fact, the very idea that he should _care_ about something a stupid as that was laughable in the extreme. Gods he'd been so, so… **gah!**

"Worse than being surrounded day and night by Dementors?" Tam asked once more beside her girlfriend.

"A million, a billion, a googolplex number of times worse." Harry shouted as more thoughts screamed for his attention. "Circe. I was saving myself for _marriage_! How sick is that."

"I thought you were quite sweet Harry." Lily threw out her amused thoughts "Very helpful indeed."

"I was _sweet_." He said with a small voice and a large shudder. "Guess it worked then? I mean, you're alive. What day is it by the way?"

"It is the second of August Harry" his brother answered "I tried my idea with the Resurrection Stone, so the potion was pretty much the same, only we did not need to wait for an Equinox."

"Oh holy hell." Harry wailed, another horrifying memory crashed into him "I wanted to be average Joe _fucking_ Auror…" his hands began shaking and he closed his eyes "…just doing my job ma'am, move along now, glad to be of service."

"Get over it Harry, you were only at Grimmauld for like two weeks." Padfoot admonished.

"Merlin, I used to jack off to my poster of Fleur. I did it _last night_ for crying out loud!" He informed everyone sickly, turning a little green at the memory. "I didn't even know the first thing about the woman. She was just a hot body with a pretty face."

Had his eyes been open Harry would have noticed the surprised and pleased look on the French woman's face, but as it was he didn't. He was brought out of the harrowing memories by two hands firmly gripping his primary appendage.

Eyes snapping open again he caught sight of a very determined looking Bellatrix, gaze firmly fixed on something other than his eyes. "No, Bella, get off. Bella dear, I have a girlfriend now, we can't do that."

"Mine." The tiger animagus said shortly.

She was holding on like a mastiff and Harry did his best to be released from her grip. This didn't really help things, and like ten people were watching with distinctly differing reactions. Hermione seemed to be getting _worked up_ at the sight for gods sake.

"Bella, no!" He tried forcefully, ignoring the sensations being caused as a by-product of his attempts to get free.

"Oh for heavens sake 'Arry, just go." Fleur spoke after a while. "Bellatrix has just healed your death."

Harry stopped resisting his friend and looked over to the part-Veela. "But, I erm, I thought we were going out now," he started in confusion, recalling that memory distinctly "I thought when people have a proper boyfriend girlfriend relationship, you weren't supposed to do that stuff with someone else."

"Normal people don't 'Arry," Fleur informed him with exasperation "but as **you** are fifty percent of the people in 'zis relationship, it could not _possibly_ be normal!"

"I dunno" Harry told her, it seemed iffy somehow.

"Just go before she pops you in the middle of 'zis graveyard."

He looked around and thought about it for a while. Bella really wasn't looking as though she was letting go any time soon. Eventually he came to a decision.

"Do you mind if we get a little bit nasty Bella dear?" She smiled getting her own way and gave a little shrug. "Excellent, because I need to wash off the stench of heroism and goodness, and I know just how to go about it." Harry felt he really needed to debauch away the filthy stench of _piety_ from my body and soul."

The two disappeared with an echoing crash of Apparition.

','

Lens of Sanity  
Lily being Pregnant with Sarah/Violet when she was murdered comes up occasionally in Dimension hopping stories, so the name was kept for consistency … Mindscrew chapter or what?


	31. The Line between Genius and Stupidity

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Chapter Thirty One: The Line between Genius and Stupidity

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Floating in his Shade form was not something Voldemort enjoyed in the slightest. It was a constant struggle to stay conscious and self aware, stopping himself from unravelling. And when he was in that form it was always because someone or something had recently killed his body, which was understandably something he wouldn't appreciate.

Yet the standing levels of rage usually present after the loss of a body were notably absent, due in quite a large part to the _reason_ it had happened. A few short minutes ago Voldemort had detonated his magical core, an ability he'd never tested for obvious reasons, known in certain circles as 'The Big Finish.'

Voldemort would have to admit with no small sense of pride, the explosion was quite impressive, and pleased him greatly. The creature, whatever it had been -Nova Dragon perhaps?- had put up quite a fight and of course been slain by the Dark Lord. As all threats to his power ultimately would be.

So it was the fact he'd technically killed himself, which left him pleased rather than enraged, to be holding his consciousness together in his Shade form. Like a malevolent smoke drifting on the wind, the Dark Lord floated toward the nearest Muggle town, and came across a sleepy suburban house.

In most instances Voldemort would simply stay in his Shade form until he reached one of his three primary headquarters in Britain. The battle lines of besieging Hogwarts were hundreds of miles north in Scotland, and he'd been _at_ Malfoy Manor when he'd died, so the second was out too. The third was the Dark Lord's personal base, but that too was almost as long a journey as getting to Hogwarts.

Instead Voldemort decided he'd locate his nearest Inner Circle member, and go from there. So he approached the suburban house and floated in silently. He Possessed a large Muggle man with instantly forgettable features, and took stock of his surroundings. The body seemed to have been talking to another Muggle in a pressed suit, with oiled back hair.

"All you have to do is sign here and the work will being within the week."

It appeared to be a salesperson of some kind. Voldemort frowned, looking about for more information instinctively. From the oily man's facial expression and body language, the Dark Lord concluded he believed to be getting one over on the Muggle he'd Possessed, coning money or signing for poor quality services no doubt.

Double Glazing. Whatever that was.

Voldemort watched curiously as the light in the oily Muggle's eyes became glassy, and the struggles ceased a while later once the larynx was crushed. Good deed for the day accomplished, Voldemort snagged the salesman's keys and moved over to the man's German five series. He'd not actually driven an automobile in many years, but it was not a skill one easily forgot.

The Nott family lived around here somewhere.

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Many miles further north, not far outside the wards of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Hermione Granger was prone on her stomach beneath the Cloak of Invisibility, not moving a millimetre more than necessary. She was breathing slowly and calmly, with her heart beating around forty five times a minute.

…

Stillness.

…

…

This was actually her idea, something she came up with on the same evening as Tam decided to Raise a Daemon. The others had been helping Hermione with the idea, while she unsuccessfully tried to convince Harry _not_ to go through with the Daemon plan. So for the past two months she had been working on her plan, and they only had a single shot at it, because if she failed the first time their enemies would easily be able to counter a second attempt.

Well technically it was _her_ alone, who had a single shot at pulling it off.

And she had to pull it off first time, because surprise was a major factor in its success.

Originally she'd hoped someone else would be the one to have to do it, but they'd decided it was one of the small group who had a room on Carebannog who'd have to do it. So testing the Aurors for someone with more aptitude than Hermione was out, mostly because of the security risk, and the near certainty of spies.

Tamsyn, Harry, and Bellatrix would all be busy with the Daemon, given they'd decided to do it on the same day for added Death Eater confusion, so none of those three would be available. Albus needed to stay behind Hogwarts wards to keep the school protections at a maximum, so he was out too. As was Lily due to her pregnancy.

This left Sirius, Fleur, and Hermione herself.

Snape was a possibility, but Harry vetoed it the instant Albus voiced the suggestion.

The crash course Tam had given the three showed glaringly that Sirius had absolutely no aptitude whatsoever, whereas Fleur and Hermione were about even in skill. Although the two months of practice caused Hermione to pull ahead noticeably, meaning she was the one laying still as a statue, waiting for the single moment to act.

She'd been deep in the stillness for five and a half hours.

She hadn't moved and barely blinked.

…

He was finally in place, not two hundred meters away, lilac robes, fair skin, and flowing golden hair. Hermione didn't think about how a seventh of Voldemort's soul could possibly be walking around wearing _lilac_, she didn't think about the time in the Ministry when Salazar had nearly killed her and Hermione had been the one to walk away not him. She didn't think about her slow, steady heartbeat, or the glowing blackness she was tracking.

Hermione didn't think at all.

…

Stillness.

…

…

She didn't even consciously squeeze, feeling slight surprise as the stock crashed into her shoulder. The projectile jumped from the barrel of Tam's Lee-Enfield, spinning, flying across the gap. 303 tearing through an invisible bubble on its course, collapsing it in a shimmer of periwinkle blue. An instant later the Valyrian Round, imbued with oh-so-much magic, winged the Locket of Slytherin and continued on its course through the man's heart.

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." Hermione whispered before her brain re-engaged.

…

"Harry can never find out I just said that!"

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"Why don't we just shoot him?" Hermione asked two months earlier, a little tipsy and still a quite buzzed about her new Mongoose form, but she'd been thinking on what Luna always said about Helga always coming up with obvious solutions. "Like, take the crown right off Rowena's head from a distance. You all said how Goblin Metals can be imbued with Basilisk Venom last year didn't you? We could use a Basilisk Bullet and just shoot her."

"That's never going to work in a million years Hermione." Her girlfriend laughed, not unkindly. "Have you never wondered why so few wizards use firearms? Well, some Mercenaries and other assorted crazies aside."

"Isn't it just because they look down on Muggles, and don't know how effective they can be? I mean, we used Muggle weapons to good effect during the Jabberwock plan."

"Well yeah, that is part of it sure," Tam agreed "but just about everyone in the magical world carries around bullet wards. _We_ all do, I know that for sure."

"We do?" Lily asked in surprise.

She lifted her Caerbannog bracelet and directed everyone who was interested toward a tiny carved rune on the side. It was sort of a wonky triangle inside a square.

"That's a bullet ward?" Hermione asked, paying close attention.

"They've mostly gone out of fashion, but back during the Second World War _everyone_ had them." Tam told her. "It was invented by a female Runeskrive back during Napoleon's time, the first person to be awarded an Order of Merlin First Class for research. It's saved many people's lives over the years. I think it was based off the old arrow wards Magicals used when we fought beside Muggles in wars ourselves."

"That is actually quite fascinating." Hermione said "And you think Voldemort and the Founder's use them just like we do?"

"I would." Harry and Tam said together, and Tam finished "And we _do_."

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Hermione had not let the idea rest, and as Harry was right behind her, saying that just shooting one of the Founders was exactly the kind of thing they _should_ do. Being as it was, so retardedly simple, nobody would see it coming.

So she set up camp in Hogwarts Library and did some good old fashioned research on the bullet wards Tam told her would almost certainly be in effect. One of the first things she learned was that they did not produce a shield which would stop bullets at all, as Hermione had initially assumed. Instead they acted in the same manner as the old arrow wards Warrior Mages used when defending the King in one of the many medieval wars.

High velocity metal approaching an invisible film of magic which surrounded the witch or wizard would activate the bullet ward. Even if you were feeling for it, this film was so thin you'd probably miss it passing through, and it took virtually none of the Magical innate strength to maintain.

When activated the bullet ward would then push the incoming projectile away from the witch or wizard's magical core, hopefully passing harmlessly by on one side or another of their body. Even if it did not, the odds of the bullet being fatal were low, far more likely causing a flesh would, or winging the person in the arms or shoulders.

Wounds which are incredibly simple to heal using magical means.

The amount of deflection depending on what material the bullet ward Rune was carved into, as well as the power and intent of the carver when he or she carved it.

At this point the _'why don't we just shoot him'_ idea was looking to be a pretty bad one. Voldemort and his Founders would obviously be using powerful ones, meaning the odds of hitting as small a target as a Horcrux would be essentially nil.

Which was why bypassing the ward entirely became Hermione's main goal, and after many days without seeing sunshine even once, she came across a dusty old tome detailing a method of carving an arrowhead into tearing down the arrow wards as it hit. Thereby no sideways nudging occurred, and the target could strike true.

It was only a matter of time before this could be used to extrapolate a more powerful Rune Cluster which would do the same to the wards being used by the Founders. Albus did most of the work, but commented on how Luna would have been a great help, what with that wonderful Array of hers.

Downside to this plan?

Once Voldemort realised they were using Muggle weapons against him, it would take him no time at all to work out a countermeasure to make any future uses pointless. Their Magic Bullet could only be used once.

But it _could_ be used, and permanently disabling a Founder was not something which would be ignored.

This was when Hermione stopped her efforts creating the Magic Bullet. She focused instead under the tutelage from Tam, and together with Fleur, on becoming proficient enough with the rifle to actually _hit_ her target when the time came.

Tam was spending most of her time with Harry, doing all the Daemon preparations, so this gave her quite a bit free time to practice. While Hermione would admit to hating guns, she would also have to admit to a certain satisfaction when she hit a target of five by five centimetres, five times in a row, at a range of five hundred meters.

A feat she only accomplished one time, the day before Harry was going to Raise his Daemon.

The Magic Bullet, as she'd been thinking of it, was one of the old Valyrian Rounds they'd crafted last year. It had been temporarily Engorged and carved with the new bullet ward busting Rune Cluster fifty five times, and given another Cluster which would allow it to absorb the Basilisk Venom from Slytherin's pet. Hermione had insisted they carve the rune _'Jera'_ opposite the rune _'Tiwaz.' _Peace, Hermione said, was what she was fighting for. And she would not do it unless the rune representing its concept was there to offset the one representing War.

The last element was a horrendously painful Occlumagi spell which Albus cast that morning. It would allow her to actually _see_ a Horcrux, a deep black which seemed to glow somehow she couldn't exactly describe. Apparently Albus had done quite a lot of research himself, modifying the Curse Breaking tool to show the location of a Horcrux beneath clothes and protections.

And now it was over, the Founder Salazar was without his Horcrux, and Hermione lay unmoving beneath Harry's Hallow. Unseen, concealed, not two hundred meters from her fallen target. She intended to stay right where she was until the confusion and chaos died down, sneaking back to the Castle in an hour or two when the Death Eaters were less vigilant.

One even stood on her hand during the scrambled search, but all the potions she'd taken made ignoring the pain quite effortless. Wit Sharpening, something to keep hunger and thirst at bay, a Calming Draught which lowered her heart rate, and something Tam had given her that morning and refused to specify as to its purpose.

Hermione hadn't asked, as she knew she'd probably have disapproved.

','

"Filthy Muggle Law Enforcers" Voldemort muttered, climbing out the twisted remains of the BMW he'd appropriated. He stuffed both thumbs into the smaller policeman's eyes when he came at him with a baton, and abandoned his host right after the second connected with the back of his head.

The trip back to his Death Eaters was not going as smoothly as it had all the other times this happened. The Dark Lord Possessed the taller of the two baton wielding Law Enforcers and stole the man's car. Rooting around inside he found an AA Roadmap, and after some brief searching located a rough idea of where his Inner Circle member lived.

It was times like these he really despised his Shade form, if the subject he possessed did not have a magical core at all, Voldemort was unable to tap even the smallest sliver of magic himself. Forced instead to rely on speed, power, tactics, and of course his own mighty intellect.

He would quite literally kill anyone who watched him as he returned to civilisation, and was able to spread this degrading tale, anyone at all! It was just undignified and filled him with a murderous rage.

Two and a half hours later the battered police car pulled up near enough the Nott Nest as he could approach. He abandoned the Muggle, glad to see the back of him, and the whole experience. Only two tires were still inflated, the front windscreen was missing, three dead Muggles were stuffed into the back seat, and there was a big pile of half eaten fast food in the passenger footwell, next to a couple of mangled traffic cones.

It had not been an easy trip, nor had it been an enjoyable one.

Voldemort's Shade form breezed through the Nott wards and he viciously took Possession of one of the House Guards. 'Finally a wand!' he thought in triumph.

"My Lord…" Nott began, seeing the Guards distinctive crimson eyes.

"_Crucio!"_ Bellowed Voldemort. Strictly speaking the man had done nothing, and it was always inadvisable to punish a minion for no reason, but the Dark Lord really just needed to hurt somebody. He put quite a bit extra juice into the curse.

Seeing the man was about to die Voldemort reluctantly ended the torture, moved over to the Dark Mark on his forearm, and Summoned all the Death Eaters he wanted to see. He made sure the Summoning hurt far more than it normally would.

The news he received not an hour later did little to assuage his temper. It seemed that the Slytherin Locket had been destroyed by an assassin around the same time as he, Lord Voldermot, was fighting the three headed Dragon. Salazar had not in fact died however, due to the quick thinking of one of the Founder's retinue, hastily applied Phoenix Tears, and a spare heart forcibly donated by one of the new recruits.

Meaning Voldemort still had Salazar at his disposal, however the man would no longer be able to survive his death. The Soul Fragment present in the Locket had managed to flee to its dying body in the hopes of somehow surviving.

The Death Eaters had brought him the metal slug which was used in the attack, and Voldemort recognised it after a time as the mangled remains of a .303, even if the black cloaked man offering it did not. So they were not above using Muggle weapons, that was irritating, if far from a difficult problem to solve.

More bad news from Draco, in that the defeat of the Nova Dragon had not only destroyed the Malfoy Ancestral Home, but somehow Godric was trapped inside. Young Malfoy appeared confused at how this could have happened, attesting the Founder had ordered him out of his home with assurances Godric would be right behind him.

Voldemort was therefore down to one Horcrux, and two Adjuncts; Rowena and the now mortal Salazar.

He banished all his Death Eaters, ordering them to be extra vigilant toward the Siege of Hogwarts, while he and the two Founders came up with a new strategy. Their thoughts working together came to similar conclusions, and the three eventually decided to investigate a report from one of Godric's entourage, from the battle in France back in February.

From unconfirmed reports, Harry Potter had fought with Lord Voldemort's power, using strength and magics that were not his own to best his opponent. This could only mean the proto Horcrux implied by the Prophecy was, and always had been, attempting Possession.

Voldemort sent Salazar back to Hogwarts, with orders to stay behind shielding at all times until a solution to the Muggle weapons could be crafted. Then he and Rowena went to do some research, and theorising.

Perhaps killing Harry Potter was _not_ the optimal solution after all.

','

Hermione spent what little of April remained in the Harry Potter Wing of Hogwarts, being carefully monitored by Poppy to ensure a full recovery from that cocktail of potions she'd ingested. They'd done their job, and the shot had hit true, but not without a few short-term side effects to her body.

As soon as Harry and Tam made sure she was resting comfortably, and cleaned up themselves, Harry went in search of his newborn daughter. The little girl was _tiny_, and he made sure to, at the very least, read Rose a bedtime story once a day. Fleur actually caught him that first night, outlining the brave and totally made up heroics from his book 'Battling the Basilisk.' How he'd cleaved in two a Whomping Willow with gigantic axe in his offhand, ruggedly saving a bawling Hermione in the process.

He looked caring and sweet.

"_And now Harry, brave and tall and fair of face, stood up against the oncoming threat of his greatest and most terrible foe. 'Ah, I see now that it was __**you **__who were in league with the six fingered man the whole time Gingerbeard. I will avenge you just like I did my brother.'  
'No!' Gingerbeard spoke in a powerful and commanding tone '__**I **__am your brother!'  
'Noooooo!' Harry's raspy voice bellowed in despair 'That's impossible.'  
'It is? Search your feelings you know it to be true.'  
'No, it really is impossible. You're like fifty years older than my parents!'"_

Harry finally noticed Rose was asleep and that Fleur was watching him silently. His barely more than a week old daughter couldn't understand a word he was saying of course. Nevertheless, his mother assured him the kid wouldn't shut up unless he was in the room, something about his presence calmed her and so he'd taken to reading Rose his crappy novel.

"Feel free to take the piss Fleur." He said without turning "I really don't mind."

"I would not taunt you about such a thing 'Arry" She voiced intensely "I find it difficult to picture you with a child."

"Yeah, that's true." Harry agreed. "It's a shame so many people told me I couldn't just stick her in a cupboard isn't it?" Fleur didn't bite. There was little point making comments like that when Hermione wasn't around. "I've hired a bunch of people to help. British Pureblood Lord and all that, I'm supposed to be all aloof and pay a bunch of servants to actually raise my kids."

"Yet you read a story?" Harry scowled at her. "I am curious, not mocking in my question."

"I have no intension of hacking off a kid on my parent like most teenagers in my position. But there _is_ a load of stuff I just have no interest in doing at all." He grinned a bit cockily "Babies can be pretty gross so I've been told." Harry paused for a while. "So yeah, gross stuff is handled by people who aren't me, and I get to read a story. Win-win."

The French woman looked over at the sleeping bundle, thinking over Harry's weird thought process for a while. He was selfish and pragmatic, yet somehow endearing. Either she'd gone completely around the bend spending too much time in the crazy world Harry lived in, or he was making some kind of sense. Fleur was betting on the former.

"Why did you send me that flower?" She asked after a time.

Fleur was talking about a blue orchid he'd tracked down with great care. Flawless perfection was what he'd been searching for, the exact shade of her eyes. It was housed between three semi-precious stones holding up a _Keeping_ which would maintain the plant's environment. So long as it was watered once a week, the flower would never die.

"You are still here…" Harry thought he meant it as _in the Castle_, but Fleur heard it as _near him_ "…and the help you gave working with Hermione was appreciated."

He nodded to the ever attentive House-Elf on guard, took the French beauty's hand with splayed fingers, and swept from the room side by side.

The charm he'd put on the door activated turning her hair a deep blood red, but Fleur didn't notice until the next day.

','

So it was early May and the group were trying in vain to talk Harry out of his 'Stupid Plan,' capitalised. It wasn't a stupid plan at all, it was brilliant, and Harry was hearing nothing to the contrary.

"You will die." Lily Potter declared simply. She even stomped her foot for emphasis.

"I die all the time, what's the big deal?" Harry retorted flippantly.

"No Harry," Hermione typically sided against him "this time you'll _die_, die. Like for real."

"Will not." Black hair said mulishly.

"Will too." Chestnut replied childishly.

"Look, we have a tired and tested method for Dark Lord destroying. We'd be downright stupid not to go through with it!" The green eyed man insisted.

The green eyed _woman_ disagreed. "It won't even work, and even if it does, you will die. That is how the magic works!"

"I die all the time." Harry repeated slowly, as if to a child. Then when his mother was about to interrupt went on "Do you at least agree you **can **figure out what you did last time? I will even give you the Pensieve Tam and I stole from the City of the Dead for your own personal use."

Lily Potter looked frustrated, and as if she was going to protest again.

"Just answer the question." Harry demanded.

"Yes." Lily exploded. "Yes, okay. If I try I _will_ probably be able to figure out the exact process I went through back in the eighties. And it should be possible to give another person the Ritual Guardian." She interrupted her son before he could speak again. "I just don't think I should because…"

"…of the price I would have to pay." He finished "I can survive my death Mum. I can do it, I'm the only one who _should_ do it for Merlin's sake."

"Magic is about Intent," Hermione shot in waspishly "you say so five or six times per week… Meaning if you don't really think you're going to die, the magic will not hold. It's obvious."

"Do not worry about that, Tam and I have a plan." Harry informed, waving it off "Leave that part to us. Will you figure out the ritual for us then, please?"

…

"I-," Lily began. "I get veto power if I don't like your full plan?"

"Mostly."

Seeing as that was the best she was going to get, Harry's mother acquiesced. "Okay, I'll help… I really, really don't want to, but I'll help."

','

Harry sat behind a huge table strewn with Arithmancy calculations, reams and reams of parchment scribbled with numbers, and columns, and graphs. He'd been at this for weeks, and finally came to the conclusion he knew he would the whole time.

"Voldemort is going to hit me with the Killing Curse."

Tam blinked at him. Shaken from whatever dirty thoughts were obviously running through her mind.

"Yeah?"

"I was right the whole time." Harry began, finally finished running through the projections of Edge Magic. "He knows about the proto-Horcrux in my Scar thanks to the Prophecy I gave him. But he also knows about the changeovers now, because of my little stunt in France where I offed Godric."

"You've said this before Harry." The redhead told him.

"Right, but you and I both know that if either of us were Voldemort, _we_ would be pissed off with the dwindling Founders at our command. Meaning Voldemort will go to tremendous lengths to turn VoldePotter into another of his servants."

"You've said this before too." Tam told him "What do your calculations tell you?"

"I've combined Albus notes, with all the stuff we have on the Horcrux ritual. Anyway, this is what I think will happen if Voldemort or someone else, hits me with a Killing Curse instead of just destroying my forehead. Like he's been trying to for ages…

…First, and by far the most likely, my Soul and the Soul Fragment in my Scar both become separated from my body. I die. Voldemort would be happy about this.

Second, the Scar Horcrux is hit and becomes separated from my body and my Soul, leaving me alive but unable to survive my death. This is also a success for Voldemort.

Third, and by far the most preferable to the Dark Lord, my Soul gets hit, Harrymort takes over my body, and probably joins Voldemort."

"So you are saying it is win, win, win, for the Dark Lord to do this?"

"Right."

"So you _shouldn't_ let him hit you with a Killing Curse then."

"Wrong."

"Wrong?"

"Yeah, you see we know something he doesn't." Harry started, closing his eyes. "We know that my Scar has been changing size and intensity each time one of us dies…"

"No Harry." Tam began, but the man ignored her.

"…and the theory goes, each Horcrux contains a 7th of his Soul; Sword, Diadem, Cup, Locket, Ring, and Diary. And that the remaining 7th is shared between Voldemort and me. Only the Scar is changing shape, because the _amount_ of Soul present is fluid. A small quantity moving between us ever so slightly, each time one of us is dead."

"That was just a theory Harry, there was no basis in fact or evidence." Tamsyn protested knowing it was futile.

"I think each time Voldemort is in his Shade form, or my Soul is residing in my forehead, the Entanglement Albus described becomes …_more _mashed together."

"And you are going to gamble on this crazy theory, which had no evidence bar your Arithmantic projections, you are going to just assume it will allow you to survive a Killing Curse again?"

"Yes I will survive, and the Horcrux will still be present. I also think the fact my Mum survived will work in my favour…" Harry trailed off "…so long as Voldemort **doesn't** hit me in the forehead! That would screw everything up."

Seeing her brother was not going to be talked out of this she simply shook her head.

"Let's go tell Albus his part in the plan. Oh, and Snape isn't going to like it."

"Since when does Snape like anything? I'll give him a pass on the whole Remus Lupin issue if he pulls it off."

','

"You want me to do what?" Albus asked disbelievingly.

"I want you to Memory Charm me-" Harry stopped when Tam cuffed him around the head. "It isn't a sacrifice unless it's a sacrifice. I have to really believe I'm going to die, and am giving my life willingly, or it won't work."

"And it is not a Memory Charm we want you to perform." Tam said glaring at her messy haired companion. "I can do it myself, being so gifted at the Mental Arts, but I'd prefer to have the might of the Elder Wand behind this spell."

"Explain precisely what you wish me to accomplish."

"A Memory Block. One utilising purely Intent based casting." Tam told him carefully "For it to be the most effective I do not want you to use any actual spell, because the outcome is not something we can really predict beforehand…

…I want you to put a Block on all Harry's memories, and allow his own mind to create a personality which would willingly give its life to save his friends and family, would know about and remember performing Lily's ritual, and would not balk or attempt to fight when the time comes."

"Harry's skill at Occlumency would make such a thing-"

"Anima Shatter Potion" the man in question interrupted "It is already brewed."

Hermione blinked several times thinking through what was being requested, before asking a question herself "Is this safe?"

"Bollocks no!" Harry exploded "This is very fucking _unsafe_. But I think it'll work."

Hermione didn't reply, and Albus was lost in thought. Snape however looked unsurprisingly displeased. "And you expect me to betray the Secret of the Fidelius to the Dark Lord," the greasy man sneered "and for him to believe for one moment I'm **not** working on your orders. And worse, you think the Dark Lord will fail to realise the similarities between this situation, and what happened in 1981?"

"Yep."

"You are fools."

"No we're not." Harry said cheerfully. "Rowena is all logic and intelligence, Salazar charisma and intuition, it would occur to neither something like this could happen. And with the Sanity once offered by Helga no longer available, we doubt Voldemort will consider it either."

"The question is," Tam began "are you a good enough liar, Severus Snape?"

Again the room trailed off, each lost in their own minds.

When Harry noticed the Headmaster come to the conclusion he **could** probably pull off this insanely challenging piece of magic successfully, Harry continued. "The last part of the plan will actually help you Professor Snape." He said with just a small touch of respect. "The botched Daemon Raising has injured me, and my mind has snapped. This is why I've been out of the public eye since it happened. This injury will be spread about through the Death Eater spies at Hogwarts, and you can use it to help convince Voldemort of your true allegiance."

"Do you think such a fabrication will hold water Harry?" Hermione asked eventually.

"It won't be a fabrication once my mind is altered, you all just have to be careful what you say and do around me."

With a low sigh Dumbledore bleakly asked "When would you like to do this Harry?"

"I was thinking nearer the end of term, so Snape can betray us all over the summer."

On Friday the 20th of June 1997 Harry Potter awoke in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts, he was a little groggy and he had a buzzing headache far worse than the one time he'd gotten drunk. "Hello Mr. Potter, it is good to see you awake." The Matron asked kindly "What is the last thing you remember?"

"Erm-, ma'am?" Harry began uncertainly "I was practicing a Chaser drill with the Griffindor Quidditch team..." Harry failed to note the small look of sadness on the Healers pretty face.

','

"Severus has betrayed us." Lily Potter said the words on the first of August, with the grim tiredness from weeks of stress. "The emergency portkey failed and Apparition Nets are in place."

"I'll hold him off, perhaps you can get to a broom or something." Harry told her, light of resolve burning in his eyes, reminding Lily strongly of her husband.

Harry moved off and she stood not far away behind the wall, listening intently and ignoring the wails of the baby Simulacrum she'd been looking after these last few weeks. They'd obviously not been stupid enough to have the _real_ Sarah Potter as added bait for the trap. There was a clattering explosion and Lily heard the Dark Lord and her son exchange pointless banter.

"Harry Potter at last you are within my grasp."

"I will not allow you to hurt them."

"Injured as you are it is almost a pity, goodbye Potter boy, your race is run. _Avada Kedavra!"_

Lily felt a tingle of magic on her skin, and a certainty that her son had been successful. So with all the hope she could muster Harry would be able to survive a Killing Curse again, she took a long Dagger from its holster on her thigh. Hefting her robes well above the knee and exposing long pale legs, she stabbed the Dagger brutally into her femoral artery.

It hurt like crazy and she'd bleed out in four minutes if untreated, but the more of the red stuff was flowing, the safer she'd be. Limping into the hallway with the Dagger tip between her fingers, Lily encountered the Dark Lord standing over her fallen son.

"You killed my husband scumbag."

Voldemort quirked an eyebrow at the oncoming blade and flicked his wand derisively.

Dagger and cursed blood lanced straight through his forehead, right between the eyes. The serpentine man looked a might surprised when his magic failed him.

','


	32. It's Oh So Quiet

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Thirty Two: It's Oh So Quiet

','

Bellatrix Black was awake, but refused to open her eyes, instead savouring the warm fuzzy feeling and the sensations on her skin. She was _happy_. And that fact kind of amazed her. She didn't really remember feeling properly happy since, maybe ever, long before Azkaban at any rate. Harry's body moved a little as he woke and Bella buried herself deeper, holding onto the warm feeling for as long as possible.

They'd played a bunch of games last night, the kinds of things Dolahov was always so fond of when she'd been ordered to his rooms by the Dark Lord, but somehow it was far more fun when it was with Harry. And Harry never seemed to order her to do things either, now that she thought about it. They got to kill people occasionally, and she had to ask nicely before being allowed to torture anyone, but Harry never _ordered _her to do anything she wouldn't have enjoyed doing anyway.

Hmm. Bellatrix didn't know how she should feel about that.

"What you thinking about dear Bella?" He asked softly, callused fingertips barely touching her, slowly brushing their way down her side.

"I miss Yellow." She answered, trembling slightly.

"Yeah, me too." Harry agreed with a low whisper in her ear, nose inhaling the older woman's scent "It's not the same around here without her."

"When is she coming back?" Bellatrix asked, the only person who took him at his word when he said Luna was still alive.

"I have no idea. I don't even have any logical reason for believing the way I do." Harry noticed goosebumps, and that Bella was staunchly holding her eyes tight shut. "It just doesn't feel very Luna-ish, for her to die taking out an enemy for revenge. And well, if the Time-Turner were going to kill her, there would have been an explosion and a body. _Not_ a portal and an Eldritch Abomination."

Harry would swear the noise his companion was making would be best described as _purring_.

"So you'll bring her back soon?" Bella asked breathily.

"Flighty is taking up too much of my concentration," Harry told her with a small sigh "it'll have to wait until I have more free time."

"I hope it's soon." Bella said after a small gasp. She finally eased open her big purple eyes and completely ignored the interior of Harry's room on Caerbannog, flipping round and focusing instead on her favourite shade of green.

"You look happy." Harry said with slight surprise.

She was. Amazingly enough she was.

','

It was early afternoon before Harry and Bellatrix began making their way back to Hogwarts. Getting through the Stockade had never been all that difficult for a small force. The battle lines and sentries were defending against large numbers, and preventing a mass exodus of escapees fleeing the Castle's protection. This was probably because the siege's primary purpose was to act as guard while the Curse Breakers painstakingly tore down the thousand year old wards.

They had been at it for six months, and as far as Harry knew, were hardly closer to completing the task.

"How come you are always so frisky after a rebirth ritual Bella?" Harry asked after a while, remembering yesterday afternoon, last night, and most of this morning. "I mean, you are quite adamant to get your way, especially yesterday."

Absently trouncing four sentries before Harry even got off a spell, Bella thought about it, and eventually replied plainly "I do not like it when you are dead."

Dual Bengal Tigers burning brilliantly scattered a small swarm of Dementors, and the two made their way closer to the destination. With what happened to Voldemort recently, the Death Eaters would be even more lax in their efforts to stop them, so Harry and Bella didn't even bother hiding the infiltration.

Most of the Goblin Army was on the far side of the Castle, so they wouldn't be a problem which needed to be dealt with, and because of this relative ease Harry and his friend would be back in Hogwarts School not an hour later. Unfortunately during the trip Harry ran into someone unexpected…

"Wait," he said in the middle of another impromptu duel "I know you!" negligently palming back a blistering yellow-orange hex he finished "You're that Digby guy. Daphne's squeeze right?"

"It's Diggory!" The Death Eater screamed in fury and outrage.

"Right yeah, Diggory. Colin Diggory."

"Cedric you bastard, I HATE YOU! _Avada Kedavra!_"

Harry simply nodded and allowed one of his neon blue Pixy defenders intercept the green light. Looking around Harry took in the fact that Bella had finished destroying the other members of the patrol, leaving the former Ravenclaw to fight alone.

Casually rolling his shoulder to avoid a screamed Cruciatus Curse Harry asked "I didn't know you joined the Death Eaters Col-Cedric. Does Daph know about it? I know her family are Neutrals."

"AAaaargh!" The guy screamed hatefully, sending a long string of pretty impressive curses into Harry's _Imprimis Patrocinor_ Shield. "She left me. Your fault, everything bad that happens is always your fault!"

Lifting his left foot to avoid one of Tam's favourites, the Organ Liquefier, which the boy had cast low, Harry raised an eyebrow. "Everything bad that happens in _your_ life is _my_ fault? How'd you come to that conclusion? I don't think I've ever even met you before today."

Bella giggled as a Baby Pander was introduced to another of the Ravenclaw's Cruciatus' and the boy went on casting, screaming with rage and hatred, and disjointedly explaining his life. The guy was kind of a prick. He blamed Harry for not being chosen Hogwarts Champion back in Fourth Year, and started flinging AKs like they were candy when Harry explained how _Angelina_ was chosen because she was better, by an _impartial _Magical Goblet.

The girl he had his eye on and almost caught, Cho Chang, was most famous for Harry's sleeping with her in the Prefects' Bathroom, and having put a _Sonorous_ on the door. After which she wasn't all that interested in Digby anymore.

The boy's on again off again relationship with Daphne Greengrass eventually fell through because of the Slytherin's unconsciously comparing his every act and decision to Harry. When he'd quite reasonably pointed out that he maybe should get a different girlfriend, Digby's casting had taken a few turns Darker.

Harry started getting bored of the angst-fest around the time the guy began exposing his failed Ministry Career, and being made scapegoat for a number of Harry's moves in the Wizengamot. He'd eventually been recruited into the Death Eaters not long after the Ministry had fallen, mostly due to promises he'd one day get the opportunity to face Harry in battle and kill him.

Noticing dark rings around bloodshot eyes Harry asked "Maybe you should take it easy on the Dark Arts there Colin mate, you're looking on the ragged edge."

"AND YOU CAN NEVER REMEMBER MY NAME!"

There was a wordless yell of outrage and Harry noticed the pooling crimson of Devil's Fire, so decided to end it. Three flicks of his holly wand and the man was bound, disarmed, and unconscious.

"Well that was interesting." Harry commented idly.

"He was a pretty good caster." Bellatrix agreed, getting to her feet and throwing away the apple she'd been eating.

"Come on let's go. I could use a late lunch."

','

Seated at her favourite desk in the Hogwarts Library, the one which looked over the grounds and in the distance showed the Forbidden Forest, Hermione was scribbling notes across a huge piece of parchment. She'd come to a startling realisation and was putting her thoughts to paper, as this was usually a good method of organising them.

The Library was pretty busy, given that the students, their families, the Aurors and former Ministry people, _their_ families, and all the other Muggleborn refugees, were _all_ taking residence in the Castle for the duration of the War if possible. Hogwarts was filled with people, but surprisingly enough it did not feel as though it were bursting at the seams.

Apparently Godric Griffindor, Salazar Slytherin, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Helga Hufflepuff had thought something like this might happen, and fortified the structure appropriately. Well, Hermione knew from History class that Hogwarts had never fallen to an invading army, so the Founders must have done their work well.

Regardless, the Library was unusually busy due mostly to boredom on the inhabitants' part.

She hadn't seen Tam for a couple of days, save for a brief conversation during the latest rebirth ritual, so Hermione was understandably a little antsy. Her hair was even reclaiming some of its former bushiness! Which was why she was working so hard Quilling her ideas, kind of as a distraction to keep her mind occupied.

The ostentatious redhead in question sat herself across from Hermione, and she began to feel a stirring of anticipation, which of course she sternly kept from showing on her face.

"What are you working on Hermione?" The heart stoppingly _gorgeous_ woman asked breezily.

"I noticed something about Harry and some similarities in how he is going about fighting this war." Hermione told her girlfriend without looking up. "I am simply putting my thoughts to parchment to see whether it's just my imagination or not."

"Hmm?" Tam asked with wonderfully worrisome glint in her eye.

"Well think about all the successes Harry has had against Voldemort. The first time Harry killed him in the Hangleton Graveyard, was with a wandlessly summoned gravestone to the back of the head, used as a distraction so he could activate the portkey and escape.

The second time was at Malfoy Manor using a Killing Curse, and he was attempting to keep Fleur Delacour from dying.

Harry forced the Magical Community to admit Voldemort was alive again during the summer between fourth and fifth year, and he did that by setting up a mock duel with Albus. But his real motivation was to stop the Ministry throwing him back in Azkaban for Sedition if you remember?"

Tam's look had faded slightly into genuine interest at this thought process. "Go on…"

"Next there was the Department of Mysteries Battle where pre-Time Travel Luna hit Voldemort with another Killing Curse. Only Harry was not there to fight the Dark Lord at all, he was _actually_ there to free Bellatrix from Voldemort's control and get her onto his side.

Then I came up with the idea to learn Legilimency, and use the Horcrux-Mindlink connection _against_ Voldemort. But Harry didn't go for it, instead using Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce, and a twenty hour session of sex with Luna. I suppose that could be counted as an outlier, but maybe Harry only did it because the sex sounded fun…"

Hermione trailed off in thought, and Tam prompted "Go on, I am interested in where you are going with this."

"Oh, yes of course." Hermione said, startled back to reality. Looking down at the parchment she was reminded of her place. "Harry's next move against the Dark Lord was to achieve peace with the Vampire Clans. But if you'll remember what we really did was take Caerbannog for its maiden voyage, and Harry was blatantly only going through with it as a thinly veiled excuse to spend time with Fleur.

Defeating the Jabberwock and destroying the City of the Dead using an Atomic Bomb was probably the next success. Even if I doubt I'll ever be one hundred percent comfortable with what happened. Anyway, that whole plan was a by-product of Harry's desire to retrieve Petunia Dursley so she could help revive Lily.

And earlier this year our forces, the French Aurors, and Harry's Vampire allies, soundly defeated not only a Death Eater Army, but Fenrir Greyback and the Packs under his command…"

Tam interrupted with a hint of dawning realisation. "And you are saying Harry's main goal had been to prevent Draco Malfoy's marriage, with the Time-Turner thing being mostly an accident."

"Yes." She agreed. "And the whole Daemon Raising plan-"

"Which turned out _not to be_ a Daemon remember!"

"You were _trying_ to Raise one!" Hermione insisted "You do not get a pass just because it didn't turn out like you believed it would." Tam looked mutinous but didn't contradict her. "That plan was for the Daemon's Magic-Negation Field to prevent the Sword Horcrux from portkeying away at the last second. Instead Voldemort made a huge explosion so it worked anyway, but whatever.

Regardless. In the Daemon plan, Harry's primary goal was revenge against Godric for killing…" Hermione looked around to make sure Harry wasn't around, before mouthing _'Hedwig'_ causing Tam to nod. It was never a good idea to mention the Owl anywhere Harry might hear you.

"And the Blood Protection Guardian?" The redhead asked after a while.

Hermione frowned "I am not sure. Perhaps this is the first time Harry has intentionally made a move against Voldemort, or maybe this is simply my imagination after all."

"I do not know…" Tam began "…it seems a pretty big coincidence."

"So you think I'm correct?" Hermione asked surprised.

"Harry is accidently defeating Voldemort?" She laughed "Yes, that sounds surprisingly reasonable actually."

Deciding to go back to the original reason she'd sought out her girlfriend, Tam brushed her strong supple hand against Hermione's, and let out a horrendous yelp of pain.

','

The instant Tam's palm touched the back of Hermione's hand she shrieked in agony, like a localised Cruciatus to her right hand. Snatching it back she looked and saw atrocious burns on her palm and Hermione's eyes had gone wide at the sight. Reaching over the brunette instinctively grabbed her wrist for a better look and the unspeakable pain, fire and burning, wracked her limb.

Tam snatched the appendage back swiftly as her right hand turned to ash. Quick thinking had Tam's wand out, gripped in her left and pointing at the opposite limb. _"Lacero!"_ the duellist Cutting Curse separated her right at the elbow, and the severed limb turned to dust not a moment later.

"What?" Hermione asked in shock.

Tam hastily cauterised the bleeding and took a step away from her girlfriend, amorous thoughts long forgotten. "J-just. Do not touch me okay."

"You are affected by the Blood Guardian." Hermione voiced the obvious realisation. Then came to an even more horrible implication, and a wide eyed question "But how are we supposed to… y'know? _Stuff_."

Recently amputated arm on the back burner, Tam raised an eyebrow "Stuff?" she smiled "Is that all I am to you? A means to an end, only fit for your personal enjoyment of _stuff_?"

"Of course not. It's just that it's been _three_ _days_!" Hermione said incriminatingly.

"I have just cut off my own arm!" Tam exploded, secretly enjoying the blushing girl's reaction. "Have a little empathy Selfish Sally."

"What's going on over here?" Harry asked, walking into the Library with Bellatrix at his side. "We were about to get some lunch, you'll never guess who we ran into."

"Hermione's touch burns me…" Tam began "…I keep forgetting that the Dark Lord and I share the same magical signature, so the Blood Protection thing effects me too."

Harry's eyes lit up in glee, glittering with unfettered amusement. "Meaning that you two can't…" He made a shameless scissoring motion with his fingers, causing Hermione to blush further. "It's karma paying you both back for mocking me. Maybe you can get some rubber gloves or something. Or if you want me to do the honours?"

"Not a chance in hell Harry." His brother growled in an attempt to remain dignified. Turning to Bellatrix she asked "Would you mind helping me with some healing which is kind of out Poppy Pomfrey's league?"

Bella blinked a few times before working out what the redhead was talking about. "Yes okay, although I have not done it for years."

"You will be fine. It is pretty simple after all."

"Where are you going?" Hermione asked.

"To fix my arm." Tam replied.

The older and younger woman left the Library side by side and Harry turned to his friend "Lunch?"

','

It took so much bloody longer than it ought to. Tam spent over an hour in her House-Elf cleaned room, there was nothing to be found. She'd eventually broken into Hermione's room and cast about with a long series of Detection Charms before she found a sole red hair, more than a foot long, stuck to the inside of one of Hermione's coat pockets. How it got there was anybody's guess.

She and Bellatrix had then skulked around the wardlines for an unfortunately time consuming search, eventually attacking one of the Curse Breaker teams. Tam took a Goblin Battleaxe to her stump, shearing off even _more_ of the limb in a jagged blood splattering of gore.

Nevertheless they had managed to capture a marked Death Eater, and proceeded to drag her back to the Castle.

Only Tam couldn't track down any of the potion, which aboard Caebannog was lying around all over the place. She'd been forced to go begging Snape for some of his private store, and that had been mortifying.

Still, they were now in the Room of Requirement and Bella was going over the process in her head. The Polyjuice from Snape was charged and the female Death Eater now looked the splitting double of Tamsyn Riddle, only with both limbs instead of a right arm which ended far above the elbow.

"Please, don't hurt me, I'll tell you everything I know." The redheaded prisoner pleaded in a tone which Tam would never be caught using in a million years.

"For goodness sake, be quite." Tam told the woman in annoyance. "We do not _care_ what you know or do not know."

"Why are prisoners always so whiny?" Bellatrix asked idly. "It is like they cannot wrap their heads around the fact I am torturing them for no other reason than it's fun."

Tam shrugged. _"Avada Kedavra!"_ There was an emerald bolt of light and the Death Eater's eyes went glassy in death. The great thing about Polyjuice was that while it did not work on the dead, someone killed while under the effects retained the altered shape as their body decayed naturally.

Bellatrix separated the corpse's arm at the right shoulder and proceeded to take a few measurements, attempting to get the join as accurate as possible. "Have you taken a Numbing Draught?"

"No, but it is fine, just do it anyway."

Dark Arts Healing processes were always like this, kind of gross and equal parts horrifying.

Fifteen minutes later Tam didn't even have a scar, and after a good night's sleep her magic will have brought it up to the same strength as the rest of her body.

','

Sat at the Griffindor table with Hermione, Harry was enjoying a detailed academic conversation with his oldest friend, snacking lightly on one of his signature Carrot-Hellfire Sauce lunches. She was getting into the details of how a binding spell she'd recently been taught was originally spell-crafted. It was kind of complex and even Harry was having a hard time following some of the Rune conversion minutiae, which she assured him was of vast importance.

After a time they were joined by a distinctive scent; spring rainfall and rose petals. "Good afternoon oh Floor Del-ah-Core. How have you been this fine summer's day?"

With a shudder at the horrible mangling of her name the woman spoke. "Please, just never call me 'zat again. You know how I feel about nicknames."

"How about Phlegm De-La-Crème…" Harry trailed off "…that actually sounded like a relish, albeit not a particularly appetising one."

Looking a little green the woman simply shook her head and took some food.

"How about a deal?" He said after a while "Fight me. If you win I'll stop giving you stupid nicknames."

"And in the unlikely event 'zat you win?" Fleur asked in interest.

"You have to dye your-"

"Non!" She interrupted. "I am not going to dye my hair red not matter how many times you suggest it."

"Come on, your hair is perfect. Such a light platinum shade, it would hold the colour really well."

"I am not changing my hair."

"If you were a redhead you'd easily make it into the top three best looking women in the castle." Harry told her seriously. "Top five _people_ if both Luna and I were in the running."

"You think there are three women more physically attractive than me in 'zis Castle?" She asked astounded at his audacity. "Who?"

"Well Tam and Hermione have spots one and two obviously." He said simply. "And Tonks of course, if you've ever seen her base form. Then there are the Slytherin girls-" Fleur was glaring at him so he trailed off. "Regardless, I'm just saying if you were a redhead you'd probably move up the rankings a little."

"I am not dying my hair." Fleur said again, with a little nod for emphasis. "I will fight you to stop with 'ze foolish nicknames, but you must pick something else."

Hermione was silently watching this back and forth in amazed interest. Harry _wasn't_ taking the piss, he really _was_ trying to get the gorgeous French woman to change her appearance, _and_ he seemed sincere in his pronouncement of Hermione's status. And what was more, she believed the barbs and ill-concealed anger were actually indications the two were flirting with one another in some bizarre fashion.

"I've got it!" Harry declared following a long moment's contemplation "If I win you have to speak flawless English for the rest of the year."

Fleur scowled prettily.

The fight promised to be long and bloody.

','

Dumbledore was looking fatigued as he entered the Come and Go Room. There was an extra tightness in his eyes showing how little restful sleep he must be getting. "How are you feeling Albus?" Hermione asked her mentor.

"Tired." He told her with a smile. "Hogwarts wards are wonderful things. Tremendous levels of redundancy and backups. However Voldemort's Curse Breakers are beginning to cause serious damage. I have just returned from installing a backup Physical Net they had managed to overcharge and crack."

"That is the ward which prevents physical objects from bypassing the protections." Hermione asked to confirm "Such as an old-style cannonball?"

"Correct. There were still five running smoothly, however it is my responsibility to keep them maintained." Dumbledore said with a sigh. "The Castle has taken to regularly waking me in the middle of the night with yet more problems. I have been forced to use the Time-Turner for sleep."

"Well I have some good news which you will find interesting." She said, looking over at Harry and Fleur conducting some warm up drills. "We confirmed Harry gave three of us with the Blood Protection Guardian. Well four, but little Sarah Potter will not be doing too much fighting I hope."

"Things would indeed be dire if that were the case." The Headmaster smiled. "May I ask who was fortunate enough to be blessed by Harry's magic, and how you can be so certain without testing against Voldemort?"

"Lily Potter obviously." Hermione began, then gestured to the platinum blonde "Fleur Delacour is the second surprisingly enough. And lastly myself." She paused in thought "We tested Tracy Davis on Harry's suggestion but there was no reaction."

"And as to the method of testing?"

Hermione grimaced at the irony. "Tam's magic is identical to Voldemort's. No spell she casts against the three of us will hold, and our blood and touch are anathema to her."

Dumbledore very carefully applied his Mastery of Occlumency against displaying his emotions openly at these implications. "So you are saying Ms. Riddle cannot physically touch you?" Hermione's eyes closed tight in dismay at the seemingly offhand question.

"You are exactly as bad as Harry."

','

Fleur and Harry circled one another like a pair of apex predators, testing the air and their opponents resolve for dominance. Peripherally Harry saw Hermione carefully admiring her girlfriend's new arm, Albus was a spectator, as was Tonks, Sirius, and the rest of the crew. Lily was holding both newborns and Bella was maintaining a Bunker Shield as redundant protection.

The two circled, neither wanting to be the one to make the first move.

"_Aculeus!"_ Harry whispered playfully, attempting a Stinging Hex to the arse as his opening shot.

Fleur's blue eyes narrowed and her features became more avian. The woman began an intricate piece of spellwork, many syllables he could not discern. Harry allowed it, interested in where she was going, and a few moments later she released a full flaring of her Veela Thrall. An almighty tug crashed into him, adding its power to the Charm she'd been building.

Next thing Harry saw was a wandless fireball approaching from her offhand, man the girl was going with her primal strengths, she must have really wanted to win. Harry didn't even bother to block, instead he wandlessly caught the flames, Fleur's magic feeling strange yet familiar, then threw it into a tight orbit and sent it straight back to her, chased with a few minor hexes of his own.

She dealt with the attacks deftly but Harry was charging her, and a swift cutter across the back of her wand hand, dropped her weapon to the ground. The yelp of pain was nothing to the "Ooph" she released as a sadistic uppercut connected with her stomach, lifting Fleur's feet from the floor and dropping her to the ground.

Neither of them had agreed to standard Duelling rules after all.

Harry found his legs swept backwards and the woman straddling him a moment later, raining blows to his face with a merciless fury. With one hand pinned he could barely deflect a fraction of the punches, so bare knuckles began splitting open cuts and offering a painful crunch as his nose exploded in a break.

Not liking how things were going Harry brought his feet under him, and bridged his hips in a snapping motion, adding as forceful a banisher as he could with his open hand. Fleur crashed into the opposite wall and brought her wand to bear, somehow having recaptured it, and unleashed a black-purple stabbing curse right on the heels of a Foe Hammer.

Okay, things were starting to get nasty.

Harry ignored the piercer as it was off-target anyway, and put as much power into an Imprimis as he could manage. The impact was enough to overpower the defence and throw him into a balsawood and fine china display the room seemed to think was appropriate.

'So that is how we're going about it eh?'

He began the involved incantation for Norsefire, ducking and dodging his favourite avian's nasty little spell-string as he did so.

','

A little over one hundred miles from the room in which Fleur and Harry were… fighting, flirting, attempting to kill one another, testing the other's boundaries, or perhaps simply wailing on one another because of some stupid bet, Lord Voldemort was tearing together a new body in a process of indescribable pain.

It was August third, a day with absolutely no celestial significance whatsoever, yet the method of his previous dispatching left the Dark Lord with an all consuming feeling of foreboding, and he had therefore decided on one of the sub-optimal methods of Rebirth.

He'd gone with a Necromantic Summoning as the method by which he could produce a powerful body comparable to the one he'd become accustomed to recently, and so it quite predictable worked off the number six. Six of the Inner Circle, bleeding six Virgin girls, at each of the six points of a sexagram.

Pretty standard stuff for anyone involved in this kind of thing.

Unfortunately the Dark Lord was forced to craft the body using his will alone, until it was strong enough to begin applying his inherent magic to the task. This was not simple, and was taking a considerable degree of his intellect and concentration to do so.

A little over an hour after the process was begun Voldemort stood, and the six Inner Circle members dropped to the floor with quite severe magical exhaustion. He waved one of the attendants over to check they'd survived, but his mind was far too occupied to bother finding out himself.

Severus had betrayed him **again**, and Voldemort moved the man up above Dumbledore in the _'people who need to be flayed alive' _rankings. In fact, should the Dark Lord capture the traitor, he'd personally come up with some special method of expressing his displeasure, hopefully over the course of many, many years.

'It was possible to keep a man alive for forty years while torturing him wasn't it?'

Voldemort picked up his personal fifteen inches of the World Tree, the enchantments on it having been powerful enough to rip through the wards of an Ancient and Noble House even. He moved over to another attendant, yanked up the left sleeve of his dark cloak, and pressed his magic into a summoning. Voldemort's anger stewed, while the remainder of his intellect focused on what had happened, and what his response was going to be.

When his Death Eaters assembled in two long ranks either side of his Black Granite Throne, the Obsidian one having long since been destroyed, the Dark Lord forced them to stand in silence for a long while. Eventually his hissed out the primary instruction.

"You are to kill Lily Potter at any cost. The one who succeeds in this task will be granted whatever they so desir-"

"My Lord." Came an interruption. Anyone foolish enough to _interrupt_ him was begging for correction, and Voldemort began charging a Cruciatus of staggering proportions.

The Dark Lord saw it was Rowena who cut him short, and allowed the coppery haired woman to finish, on the off chance he could be convinced to let the slight stand. Rowena said nothing, simply looked him in his red, silted eyes. The Founder was not attempting to stare her Master down, instead intimating a mistake without doing so aloud.

"You are correct of course." Voldemort said. There would have been a free for all, with Death Eaters getting in one another's way more than getting the job done. "Jugson?"

"Yes my Lord." The man snapped instantly.

"What resources would you require to make certain of Lily Potter's death?"

Jugson thought about this query for an extended moment. "Give me Rowle, and three of the tested newcomers. Goyle and Crabbe work well together too…" Jugson trailed off "Yes, seven fully kitted out would be more than enough. She's good, I faced her late in '78, but we'll get her. By your command my Lord."

'A Death Eater erring on the side of caution rather than spewing false bravado?' Voldemort noted with approval. "You may go."

The Dark Lord needed to end this soon. Harry Potter had somehow duplicated the effect which led to his first downfall, and the loss of the fool Quirinus. His enemies were doubtless draining her blood and force feeding Replenishing Potion right at this moment. Blood based weapons capable of destroying him, the idea would cause a shudder had Voldemort not controlled himself.

Rowena must be kept safe at the Ministry from now on.

This War was coming to a head, one way or another.

','

Lens of Sanity  
Cedric? Read Bk4 again, he's a little _too_ nice. What's his angle? … There was a comment made about magical healing. In all my stories it's a little more effective than in most FanFiction. Seriously, Padfoot was once _cut in half_ with a Basilisk imbued Sword, and Salazar was _shot through the heart_ by a Basilisk Bullet, yet they both survived!


	33. The Fall of Hogwarts

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Thirty Three: The Fall of Hogwarts

','

Hermione was absolutely disgusted by the sight. It was simply horrible, a horrible thing to be forced to watch. But like a car accident or a train wreck, she just could not look away.

Fleur Delacour was sitting on Harry Potter's knee, and feeding him his dinner, and they were looking at one another with big goofy grins.

They were of course very obviously, and very seriously, injured. Harry had some deep gashes and cuts on his face, a black eye, much bruising, and the horrifically broken nose. His arm was in a sling, and he was sitting tenderly due to the broken ribs. Fleur was in pretty much the same state, scorch marks and burns from one too many run-ins with casually tossed about fireballs, and singed hair sticking up at the back worse than Harry's.

"I think my foot is broken." Fleur said, as though the fact were of mild interest, but not really important.

"I should bloody well hope so with the number your second Foe Hammer did on my ribs." Harry responded with a pleased smile, accepting another fork-full of his Dinner.

"You two have very serious issues!" Hermione declared from her position across the table.

"Pipe down Hermione."

"Oui." Fleur agreed "It is as though you do not wish us to have any fun at all."

"How can that have possibly been _fun_?" The bushy haired woman asked shaking her head. "Neither of you were using anything approaching _friendly_ magic."

The two, totally NOT married couple, stopped acting all moon-eyed and turned to gaze directly at Hermione. They wore identical looks which declared her to be crazy.

"You expect me to use kid gloves against her?"

"Do you suppose I should treat him like a child?"

The fact they both spoke the same sentiment at the same moment was not lost on her. For the first time in a long while she remembered something Luna had said beck when she'd been fourteen, in the small interval of time between Harry's funeral, and the blonde's time travel. Luna had made a comment about the two pretty much being the same person.

Hermione suddenly realised it was true. They were _both_ insane.

','

Walking side by side with Antonin Dolohov, and in front of two faceless Death Eaters whose identity she did not bother learning, Rowena brutally suppressed the scowl that so wanted to break across her face.

Dolohov was one of, if not _the_, most dangerous Death Eater currently in the Master's ranks. The man had been charged with a sole task, and in matters which were covered by that task's successful execution, complete and total authority. Surpassing her own authority as a Founder even.

Antonin's job was to keep her alive at any cost.

The small group passed the first of many checkpoints, this one in the Ministry Atrium, following a cursory examination which determined whether or not any of the foursome was a Polyjuice imposter.

Of the two Founders still alive, Rowena was the only one to still be in possession of her Horcrux, and as such far too valuable to be risked on the front lines, the Ravenclaw Diadem being the last Soul Container in the Dark Lord's possession.

Rowena was intelligent enough to realise the Master had considered killing her, and squirreling the priceless object away somewhere for safe keeping. He had not done so for two reasons, the first was because all of these protections on the Ministry were probably just as good as what Voldemort would be able to provide anyway. What with all the overlapping fields of fire, checkpoints sweeping for charms, potions, and compulsions, as well as a not-so-small army of defenders all taking residence in the building.

Secondly, Rowena was far from defenceless herself. The girl whose body and magic she was using had once been the daughter of the then Director of Magical Law enforcement, Susan Bones, and she had a surprisingly robust magical core. The threat posed by their enemy's blood magic was of little threat to her, and she'd be capable of fighting Lily Potter herself if need be.

So it had been deemed safer for Rowena to be placed behind the fortified Ministry protections, with a wand in hand as last resort.

Entering the lift on the long journey toward her office, Rowena tried her best to ignore her three constant companions. She tried to similarly ignore the fact a lowly Death Eater, even one as skilled as Antonin Dolohov, was in a position to give her orders which she'd be forced to obey.

Twenty five _long_ minutes later she was behind her desk, coppery hair tied back, and with the frown never having graced her features.

Rowena supposed she should just focus on staying safe and alive as she had for the previous weeks, but as she was effectively under house arrest, the bright side didn't feel all that appealing anymore.

It was not as if anybody could _possibly_ get to her behind all these security measures after all.

','

It was less than five hours later on Friday the 22nd of August that found Harry Potter a little startled by a coalescing mass of silvery energy, as he was making his way back to the Library in search of Hermione.

Noticing the man had a Patronus which took the pretty cool form of a Thestral, Harry smiled, and the well defined equine construct opened its mouth to speak in a Korean accent even _worse_ than Fleur's mangling command of the English language.

"Target and bauble both dealt with," the Engrish accent informed "you owe us additional six hundred hazard bonus."

The Thestral dissolved and Harry was hurtling toward the Headmaster's Office, dragging the Communication Mirror from his pocket as he went. "Padfoot!" He screamed into his reflection, which in turn shimmered to reveal that of his godfather.

"Harry?"

"It's time, Hermione and Tam should be in the Library, I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall."

A grim look of focus crossed his aristocratic features. "Okay" was the sole laconic response before he was gone.

"_Expecto Patronum"_ The Bengal Tiger leaped from his wand, bounded around a few times until it was padding contentedly as Harry's side, mannerisms surprisingly similar to Bellatrix as it did so. "Go tell Bella it's time, and that I will meet her in the Entrance Hall."

The Patronus span into a ball and flew through a wall, vanishing to do as ordered right as Harry approached the gargoyle guarding the entrance to the Headmaster's Office. He noticed, not for the first time, that the thing seemed to have been turned to rubble at some point and repaired, because there were obvious fissures and cracks running through it which weren't there when he'd first seen it.

"Candy Canes!" The seventeen year old yelled, not in the mood to ponder Albus' ridiculous passwords. Bounding through the door without knocking Harry took in his mother, Snape, and Dumbledore were all sharing a conversation. Interrupting whatever they'd been discussing Harry just said "Rowena is dead. It's time."

Instead of leaping to go through with the plan, Albus frowned. "Under what circumstances did the Founder meet her downfall may I ask?"

Harry glared at this lacklustre response to discovering all these weeks of waiting were finally over, Harry simply waved the question off. "What does it matter? She'd dead, let's do this thing."

"As you say." Albus Dumbledore commented before closing his eyes and focusing on Hogwarts wards.

"I cannot believe we are voluntarily lowering the school's protections." Snape muttered with the shake of his head.

"Severus, I agree with Harry on this one." Lily told him firmly. "Voldemort must think he is winning for this to work out for the best."

A tense sixty seconds passed before Dumbledore's shoulders sagged and he blew out a long breath at the exertion.

"It should take one of the Curse Breaker teams around an hour to initiate a staggered field collapse." Albus told them. "Notably less if Voldemort himself is the one tearing down the wards."

Harry nodded. "Okay, I'll go get Scrimgeour."

"**No!**" All three shouted, with Snape finishing the sentiment "I believe I shall go coordinate with the former Minister, you're diplomatic skills will not be needed Potter."

"Fine." Harry huffed. Offering his arm to the auburn haired woman he spoke "Coming mother dearest?"

','

They were outnumbered. That pretty much goes without saying given the Castle was under siege. So they were outnumbered by about four or five to one, and had very little hope of reinforcements appearing out of nowhere to come help them. Oh, and it was four or five to one, _not counting_ the Giants and the Goblin Army.

Harry was staying well clear of the Goblins if he had anything to say about it. The Goblins didn't like him for some reason, and wizards that Goblins especially disliked tended to find themselves stabbed with sharp objects.

The plan was pretty simple. The non-combatants who declared they wished to stay in the Castle, were shuffled off and sealed into either the Hufflepuff or Slytherin dorm rooms to keep them out of the way and hopefully safe. The others were filed out to Aberforth Dumbledore's pub through a Secret Passage through the Come and Go Room.

The Aurors, militia volunteers, and other fighters would be organised into small teams. The plan being to cede Hogwarts corridor by corridor, room by room, withdrawing the whole time and keeping deaths to a minimum.

Albus already had several routes planned out, and the fallback positions prepared, so Scrimgeour and his people just had to follow direction and everything would be fine.

Now, one of, if not _the_ main goal of today's battle, was for Lily to kill Salazar. She had the Blood Protection Guardian, and Salazar was in the exact same position as Tam. It had to be done before anyone informed the Dark Lord of Rowena's recent demise. Lily should not find this all too difficult to accomplish as she'd been loaned the Cloak of Invisibility, and intended to sneak close enough to just shoot him in the back.

It was a war remember.

Shooting people in the back was fair game in wars.

The other thing Harry's side had going for it was leverage. There were not all that many Death Eaters on the same skill level or magical power as Harry's friends. Harry had surpassed Sirius a while ago, and Tam was currently winning two times in five against Bellatrix. This was good news as Sirius could go one on one against pretty much any of the Inner Circle, with the glaring exception of both Dolahov and any of the Founders.

So as a small team, Harry and his friends were quite a force to be reckoned with, and that did not even count the presence of Albus Dumbledore, true Master of the Elder Wand.

Harry and Bella both downed their Polyjuice, one losing a few inches of height and gaining auburn hair, the other transforming into her niece, Nymphadora Tonks. The real Tonks was with them and _not_ her fellow Aurors for this one, but she'd picked a different form for added misdirection.

Tam did the same and came out looking like a random male Auror, completing the look of two ministry bodyguards. Harry hated that he'd lost the bet and had to be the woman, whereas Tam got to be the guy.

Regardless, this plan was probably going to work.

It was better than the City of the Dead insanity they'd settled on last year, and that had worked out okay in the end.

','

"Fucking stupid Goblins." Harry moaned as Tam put a boot on his chest and pulled the spear out of his shoulder. "What did I ever do to them?"

"Well you are famous as being the only wizard to successfully rob them," the no longer redhead began "and you flaunt the centuries old treaties, and you removed the Potter Gold from their guardianship, and you call every single one you meet Griphook, and you…"

Seeing Tam was going to keep going on, Harry just waved for her to stop. "Fine, maybe they have some legitimate concerns. Still doesn't mean I like getting stabbed by the little bastards."

Tonks!Bellatrix came on over once she'd finished playing with the Goblins, and Lily!Harry was being dragged back to his feet by Auror!Tam. Seven rippling Death Eaters dropped their Disillusionment Charms and shouted a barrage of _"Avada Kedavra"_ light at Harry.

Three silverback gorillas and a swarm of neon blue Cornish Pixies sprang to life and intercepted the oncoming death magic without Harry missing a beat.

_"Polyfluis Reverso!"_ All three whispered instantly, targeting one of the others. And Lily with her twin Auror bodyguards became Harry Potter, Tamsyn Riddle, and Bellatrix Black.

One of the interesting side effects of Polyjuice potion, was that when wearing another's form, a witch or wizard was not as much in tune with their own magic. Therefore, once the trap had been sprung, the three utilised a newly researched spell to give them their own bodies back. It was seven on three, and back in their own bodies, the three was outnumbering the seven.

"You guys are so screwed." Harry told them.

','

Hermione knew she could do this. This was what it had always been coming down to, and she knew she could do it. Albus was off fighting the Death Eaters Voldemort had been using as his bodyguards, and now it was just her, Fleur Delacour, and the Dark Lord.

With a blue and gold shimmer, the Anti-Escape wards went up, trapping the three of them in place. More importantly preventing Voldemort from being able to Apparate away once he realised he was going to lose. He felt the tickling of magic as he became trapped, and so Hermione walked confidently into the clearing, hair tied back and Vinewood wand grasped tightly in her right hand.

The Dark Lord glanced over at her dismissively and a bolt of green light slammed into her chest, taking her feet from under her and throwing her violently into a tree.

Being hit with the Killing Curse hurt.

A lot!

Hermione got to her feet and brushed off the dead leaves, moss, and dirt from her no longer pristine clothes.

"Tell me Lord Voldemort," Hermione began with a bright smile "now that you've killed me what do you plan to do next?"

She opened up Starfall without waiting for a reply, and Fleur released her signature Foe Hammer at the same instant.

The Battle was on.

','

Skulking beneath James' old Invisibility Cloak Lily felt like an assassin, or maybe a ninja. It was not a particularly pleasant feeling preparing herself to cold bloodedly murder someone, nevertheless it _was_ necessary. And the person in question was technically Voldemort anyway, so while she did find it distasteful to be doing what she was doing, Lily wasn't going to hesitate.

He was a good lucking blonde man, in lilac robes, and it seemed absurd this ridiculously dressed person could possibly be as dangerous as he was. All the same, Lily crept behind him and ignored his bodyguards, focusing instead on the Curse she was going to use.

If what they'd practiced against Tamsyn in the Room of Requirement held true, Salazar would be capable of blocking her spells using throwaway transhields. Meaning the Killing Curse was out. However if he attempted to block her attack using magical shields, the spells should pass through virtually unaltered.

So she settled on a blasting curse.

_"Altus Impactus!"_

Wham! Head and torso vanished completely before Salazar could even register his hastily raised Imprimus failed him. Well, when she said blasting curse, Lily may have been understating the sheer _power_ she could pump into one.

Hand and wand slashed out _"Conseco Artus,"_ and the Limb Sever took Pettigrew in the throat not a second later. Hastily retreating back beneath the Cloak's protection Lily ducked and dived out the way of all the offensive magic Salazar's useless bodyguards fired in her direction.

','

Okay, so direct damage spells were basically useless against him. That was very annoying. On the plus side, direct damage spells from Voldemort are basically useless against Hermione also. Fleur had attempted the Killing Curse a bunch of times, but the Dark Lord always dodged, or managed to get something in the way of anything green heading in his direction.

Another unfortunate problem was that Fleur had almost lost her hand when her wand was destroyed. She was still conscious, if a little bleary from what was probably a concussion, so had taken to simply holding the Anti-Escape wards with all of her strength, freeing the required concentration and magic drain from Hermione so she could focus solely on her task.

The Net had changed and was shimmering a deep dark red from time to time, signifying the magic was still active.

"_Furnunculus, Aculeus, __Diffindo, __Incarcerous, Furnunculus"_

Only the mild stinging hex and the severing charm actually hit, but this was the fastest low level chain Hermione knew, and so it was important to just blanket the area with as much magic as she could, as fast as she could.

The giant scorpion which was hit with the stinging hex, curled back on itself as soon as it encountered Hermione's magic, deforming and not a moment later returned to its original form, passive stone.

Hermione had been bitten by a snake, and clawed by some kind of dog or wolf. The transfigured animals _could_ hurt her before her touch destroyed them, which was why she always made sure they didn't get close enough. Drenching the oncoming threats with kiddy spells from first and second year seemed to be enough.

The Dark Lord's leaping lion must have been engorged to appear that large, and Hermione effortlessly wrapped the animal in Incarcerous Ropes, handily reversing her enemy's transfiguration once again.

"I tire of this." Voldemort hissed loudly. They'd only been fighting a few minutes, the man must not have a very long attention span.

The next thing Hermione knew, an uprooted tree was hurtling toward her, and with a flick of her wrist she was forced to conjure a shining silver shield. The impact was awe inspiringly powerful, and Hermione's shield remained firm, ringing out a deep gong-like note.

The massive projectile dropped to the ground and Hermione took the opportunity to fire off a bright white sphere of her own magic, the same spell Albus taught her back in January, and it burst with an almighty roar as it impacted the Dark Lord.

"I am ever so sorry Faux Riddle," Hermione couldn't help but taunt "was that your best shot?"

','

Harry was trading blows with an Inner Circle member he believed to be named Jugson. One of the curses he shot was a surprisingly well cast Dark Arts spell he understandably recognised as yet another of Tam's favourites she called a Shadow's Glaive. Harry had never asked, but was fairly confident his brother used Dark Arts all of the time not because they were more effective, but because so few were capable of handling as much Dark Magic as she could without side effects.

She was _always_ showing off!

Harry was certain of it.

Take the Glaive for instance. It was around the same level as a _Lacero_ cutter, but was covered by the Interdict of Merlin because using it was addictive. Harry supposed most people were not as well versed in the Dark Arts as to be able to recognise such an obscure spell instantly and then, as Harry did, proceed to reflect it right back at the caster.

Jugson went into a scrambling dive and one of the other Death Eaters caught the curse in the face, knocking his silver mask clean off.

"Digby" Harry called an enthusiastic greeting, for the first time ever _intentionally_ getting the man's name wrong. "How's it hanging?"

"Graagh-!" Or some other incomprehensible scream met this question, followed by a few more Dark Curses. Harry got a close look at the guy and realised he was probably suffering from Dark Arts Dependency. It was likely he didn't even realise where he was, let alone _why_ he was fighting with the Death Eaters.

"Kid, you're sick." Harry called after scoping around and noticing he was the only one still fighting. "Calm the fuck down."

He didn't calm down. Harry subaudibly incanted Hoarfrost, and followed it with a crisp _"Pupugi"_ piercer to the man's upper wandarm.

"You want me to kill him?" Bella asked.

"Nar." He replied, mulling over another solution. "Obliviate the shit out of him…" Harry suggested "…do you believe you can take three years? Make him think he's just put his name into the Goblet of Fire."

"You are way too nice." Tam informed with a shake of the head. "He will still have to recover from Dark Arts abuse you know?"

"Bollocks to him. I'm only suggesting it because I like Daphne, and _she_ used to like him."

"Fair enough." The redhead said. "We should get out of here though, this is still a warzone remember."

"I hope Fleur and Hermione are okay." The dark haired man said after a while.

"Worried about your girlfriend Potter?"

"No Riddle, I'm worried about _yours_."

','

Scrimgeour and his people were finally into the last fallback corridor, and were retreating through one of the Secret Entrances which would come out at the base of the Ravenclaw Quidditch stands. The Ministry people had lost surprisingly few of their members, having had the foresight to retreat and back off as soon as things started getting bad.

It helped that the hastily explained battle plan _necessitated_ they retreat, with the idea being to lure most of the Death Eater numbers and strength inside, in order to buy time for whatever the primary plan actually _was_. It irritated the former Minister that he did not even know for certain what was going on, he'd simply been given instructions, and told this was all part of Harry Potter's solution to his charge of defeating the Dark Lord.

Scrimgeour still could not quite believe that an entire war was being waged at the whims of an insane seventeen year old schoolboy. And worse, the undeniable fact that he was far more successful than anyone else when doing so.

Abandoning the Castle, Scrimgeour and his forces moved toward the Forbidden Forest. They would fight their way past whatever army was between them and safety. If what he'd been told was true, this might not be as difficult as it sounded. Apparently there would be chaos and confusion enough to prevent too much organised resistance.

"Teams two and three, take down that Giant." The former Minister ordered. "Team one, you are with me on rearguard."

Fifteen minutes and a handful of minor battles later, the Aurors and Militia came across Harry and Lily Potter, Sirius and Bellatrix Black, and a small handful of other fighters who had not been present during the Fall of Hogwarts.

They seemed quite chipper and led the Aurors to Albus Dumbledore and a large, tightly maintained warding which sparkled a dark crimson hue.

As no fighting was going on with the Death Eaters in charge of the School, they all crowded around to get a closer look at what was happening.

Someone was fighting the Dark Lord.

And whoever it was appeared to be winning.

','

Voldemort had taken to banishing anything and everything he could at her, coordinating these attacks with sacrificial animals, dropping conjured and disillusioned boulders from great heights, and basically doing anything and everything he could think of to work around the limitations forced on him by the Blood Magic.

It was humiliating to be seemingly on an even footing with a teenage schoolgirl.

He found himself startled by a sudden and unwelcome realisation. The noise and chaos of battle which had been a constant seemed to have died down. Things were eerily quiet, save for the noises and crashes caused by the two combatants themselves.

The wards, that red and gold Net of fire preventing apparition and portkey through his own protections, there were people on the outside. Many people. And they were not allies. Lord Voldemort saw Harry Potter, and the boy gave him a cheeky wave and a grin. This distraction allowed the girl to land a hit on the side of his head, briefly knocking him down in the process.

It was time to leave, regroup, and come up with another plan.

The Dark Lord took to the air, utilising the powers of Flight he'd developed personally, and he headed for the ward edge.

"Oh no," the girl admonished "I do not think so."

With a brandishing motion a long pale light flew from the tip of her wand, wrapping itself many times around his body. It was a binding of the highest order, and it trapped him like a fly on a piece of string. With a big yank of the cord Voldemort was pulled back to the earth and in the instants it took to free himself from the pale green ropes, Hermione made her move.

"You see Lord Voldemort." Hermione told him. "I do not wish to kill anyone. However I do not think you are a particularly nice person."

As she spoke her magic was building to an uplifting sound more terrible than anything he'd heard before in his seven decades of life.

Lord Voldemort's body was then destroyed in the consuming flames of Phoenix Light.

','

Fleur dropped the barriers she'd been holding with a sigh of relief, they'd been a little on the magic intensive side and she was becoming quite tired. There was a massive cheer from the Aurors and spectators who'd witnessed Hermione Granger defeating the Dark Lord in single combat, and many of them ran up to her offering congratulations.

Harry, Albus, Tam, Sirius, and everyone else of the crew who were still on their feet did something far more important. They began hurling their Soul Traps in every direction. Each and every one of Harry's friends, as well as Snape, were all equipped with ten of the small red and white balls, and now was the time to finally get them out into the field.

The small magical device was of Tam's design. None of them were entirely certain _what_ Voldemort's Shade form actually _was_, but from a few half baked theories Tam had managed to design something she believed would trap and hold him. Albeit temporarily, as the redhead would readily admit.

This day's plan was _not_ to kill Voldemort.

Killing Voldemort was something they did all the time.

No, today they needed to kill him under _controlled circumstances_, so they could stop him getting a new body in some pathetically straightforward manner. Harry had a plan to end him for good, but for now, let the little people enjoy their victory.

Harry would bet anything this fight ended up being called the Last Battle.

And that it would _always_ be capitalised.

','

Fleur was up and mostly healed so she headed over to where Tam and Harry were standing. Tam moved over to Harry's other side when she noticed the French woman's approach, always a little apprehensive around the three who could burn her body to ash with little more than a brush of their fingertips.

"You did not think this one through did you Harry?" Tam asked, nodding over Fleur's shoulder toward the gathering crowd.

Glad to see the stunning platinum blonde safe and well, Harry dragged her into a relieved kiss, totally ignoring her slight protest, and the coppery taste of blood in her mouth. A blissful moment of oblivion later he turned to where his brother had nodded.

Hermione was being carried on someone's shoulder and there were cheers going up.

Harry suddenly knew exactly what Tam was talking about.

"Oh bloody buggering hell." He swore quietly.

"Yep."

"What?" Fleur asked in confusion.

"Who do you think is going to get the credit for defeating the Dark Lord Voldemort now?" Harry voiced in dismay. "Nobody is _ever_ going to believe it was really _me_ who was responsible."

"No they are not." Tam agreed, kind of amused at how things turn out sometimes. "That white magic stuff is pretty powerful though. You have to admit that."

"Was it my imagination or did that kind of sound like Fawkes?"

"'Ze Phoenix?" Fleur asked "'Zat is what I thought too."

"We'd better break up the party." Harry said after a long moment. "Just because there is no more Dark Lord in charge, does not mean the Death Eaters have been dealt with. We don't want to get caught by overwhelming numbers who are now in possession of a Castle Fortress not two miles away."

The three made their way over to Dumbledore and the small group crowding around him. "Did we get him?" Albus asked, and Harry held up the tennis ball sized Soul Trap. "And you are really going to go through with your plan?"

"He's a tricky bastard." The Chosen One stated. "He'll figure out a way to escape eventually. Probably soon actually, so I'm thinking I should do it tonight."

"I wish I could say it is a terrible idea, but most of your terrible ideas seem to be far more successful than they ought to be."

"Let's get out of here before we all get killed." Tam said.

...

Distantly one more cheer went up for the greatest witch of the age.

','

Lens of Sanity  
If you don't recognise the Thestral Patronus you don't read enough FanFiction, and if you _do_ you'll probably agree it's a viable method of killing a Founder.  
A few of you guys noticed this a while ago but; Lawfully Good, Phoenix, White Magic, Dumbledore's Apprentice, T/Hr main pairing, and _everyone _likes her. Hermione _is_ and always _has been_ the Hero; with Harry one of her insane friends … At least that's how History would see it.


	34. Bunnies and the Hand of Prophecy

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Thirty Four: Bunnies and the Hand of Prophecy

','

Harry finished outlining the heroics his fictional analogue performed against the Jabberwock to his young daughter, and Rose was fast asleep, seeming happy and as innocent as –well, a newborn child actually. Little Rosie Black was fine, her aunt Sarah had been beneath the slumbering protection offered by the dream world for a while already. It was strange to think on the aunt/niece weirdness too much, or that of the two kids, Rose was the elder.

He made his way along the expansive promenades of his home, overlooking the rocky shores of north east England, bathed in the newly waning moonlight of fading summer. It was late but still the same day as Hermione quote, unquote _Vanquished_ the Dark Lord, and after a long and pleasant stroll Harry found himself in the main room.

"I see you've escaped from your adoring admirers Hermione?" Harry asked with a wry smile.

The tangle and knot haired brunette girl in question mulled over whether or not her friend was teasing her. "That was far and away the most difficult fight of my life." She told him. "I cannot imagine what he'd be like if I were not immune to his magic."

Everyone was present, tired but awake, they were all there. His mother, the youthful Lily Potter. His godfather, the aristocratic Sirius Black. Pretty and always innocent Bella, wise old Dumbledore, and the ever sumptuous Fleur Delacour. The redheaded Tamsyn Riddle, brother not sister, as perverse as that might sound.

"Luna should be here." Harry said after standing in silence for the longest time.

Most of the room grew uncomfortable, as they always did when he brought up the friend they all believed had died, but Harry ignored them as he always did.

"I wish she were here too." Beautiful, even if she didn't believe it herself, Hermione responded with patronising tone she probably hoped was understanding.

Harry just ignored her words and took out the spherical Soul Trap containing a disembodied Dark Lord, moving as he did so to a table they'd prepared beforehand. He intended to enjoy a late lunch, after a long and busy day.

'Drunken Shrimp' was a Chinese delicacy Luna Lovegood had pushed him to try long ago, informing him as she did so, that the crustaceans were _"painstakingly harvested from Keanu Reeves' bellybutton."_ A disturbing mental image certainly, but undoubtedly one of those references she occasionally threw around, taken from a song or more likely _movie_ they'd not yet seen.

Damn time travel humour.

Anyway, marinated in a bowl of fairly strong alcohol, -the bottle of Maotai swiped from the blonde's room had been sitting next to the golden fiddle Harry bought her- and then seasoned the prawns were acting as meal of the day. Oh, and one more thing was kind of worth mentioning saying as it was quite important. The Drunken Shrimp were _alive_ when you ate them …yeah.

"Charms in place?" Harry asked, placing the red and while ball next to his plate, and taking his seat.

"Yes Harry." Dumbledore said in resignation. The man had an aversion to stupid plans, so he wasn't all that happy. "Compulsions as powerful as I could cast them using the Elder Wand. In his Shade form I doubt Voldemort would have strength of will enough to prevent himself attempting Possession on your meal."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Fleur cried as he was about to crack open the Soul Trap. She glided over and offered a scorching kiss, enough to make his toes curl, before disengaging with a light flush. "Bon appétit, 'Arry."

The sphere broke open, in Shade form the single most dangerous human being alive took control of an alcohol stunned shrimp, and Harry took a bite. This, much like a large number of things he'd gone through in his life, was probably going to hurt.

'Bring it on Voldemort. Let the Lord of Chaos Rule'

','

"Hmm, interesting." Harry mused looking around at the landscape he found himself present to enjoy. "And here I thought this would just be willpower, intent, and the oh-so-common screaming."

Harry was standing tall, older than her really was, formal robes and dragonhide boots, shining a greyish blue which shimmered in a way mundane leather simply couldn't approach. He was wearing his Hack Sunglasses and even though there was no sunlight, or any light at all, he could see perfectly fine, thanks mainly to the illumination which came from everywhere and nowhere at once.

Acromantula carapace armguards, family crest embossed on left shoulder, and had he been able to see it, a white rabbit crossed by a spanner ornamenting his back and shoulders. Harry had no wand, and could feel no magic, but he held and tested the familiar weight of his broad bladed Vorpal Sword in his right hand.

"Interesting." Came the well recognised sibilant tone of Lord Voldemort from behind him, causing Harry to casually turn to face his opponent, bald and standing at a full seven feet, right in the centre of the Great Hall at Hogwarts School.

"Indeed…" said Harry James Potter, the imposing figure of legend. This was the most hated facet of Harry's personality, carefully repressed around the friendly faces of his closest friends. This was the aspect which took a beating for little Sally O'Connor when Dudley's pathetic friends wanted her juice box, and spurred him on to face a monster of venom and _death_ to save a girl he didn't even know. It never promised he'd succeed, but forced him to _try_ regardless. As there was nobody here save Voldemort, and for the first time in a long time, he let the foolish caricature used as misdirection to show its true form. "…it appears we have a metaphor on our hands."

"May I ask, Harry Potter, where in the world we find ourselves?" Voldemort enquired with characteristic formality, the last vestiges of his sanity recognising this moment as important.

Harry taped his forehead with an empty left hand, and smiling dangerously he added "I am going to eat your soul."

Then Harry was behind his prophesied foe, blade swinging down with tremendous power, connecting with Voldemort's impossibly long thin katana.

There was a clash and the battle was on.

Someone was going to die.

','

It wasn't real. That much was obvious. It _couldn't_ be real for a start. Nevertheless it was the weaving of unreality, and impossibility, which _made it_ real. Which of course made no sense at all. What was happening both was and was not happening, and once Harry got his head around _that_, it all kind of fell into place.

With each swing and crash of the combatants' blades the scene the two were standing on shifted. The first connection ripped them from the Great Hall of Hogwarts, and they found themselves standing in a snow bank at a time, or place, or country Harry had never been, visited, nor remembered.

Meaning the battle for body and soul was being waged in a construct created by both villain and hero, dragged from the depths of memory and crafted from Harry and Voldemort as a pair.

Dragging his broad blade in a high guard Harry defended against a hammerstroke of force as his opponent leapt from the heights of the Fountain of Magical Brethren, in the Atrium of the Ministry itself. His grip buckled and he twisted sword over and under, causing a deep gash in Voldemort's thigh.

That was another thing.

They could be hurt, here in this world of fancy, and make believe.

The wounds they took, they caused real damage, and did not heal. As could be shown by the absent left eye, and doubly scared face of Harry Potter. With a roar of fury at Harry's first connection, the Dark Lord leapt back forcing most of his weight on his back foot, standing tall in the Lobby of Gringotts Wizarding Bank.

Lord Voldemort lifted his offhand, and charging a green ball over the briefest of instances, let loose a sphere of deadly magical fire at his teenaged adversary.

Diving to the ground and turtling behind broad blade, he avoided the wash of heat, and while doing so he released a growl of frustration.

"Bastard can use magic too, fantastic."

','

'Okay, this isn't looking good Harry.' He thought to himself, legging it with all his strength throughout the winding corridors of his floating home, his clothes battered and scorched from the fighting. 'Those one handed fireballs of his are really tipping the balance.'

And they were, Harry had managed to separate the Dark Lord from his left hand, but that seemed to do less than nothing to prevent the casually tossed balls of flame. The one thing which might be good news was they seemed to be the limit of what magic he could cast. Harry could cast none at all, but at least he wouldn't have to face some of the nastiness well known to be in the man's arsenal.

Vanishing and reappearing behind the tall snake-like figure, Harry found himself standing in an obsidian black throne room, Vorpal Sword swishing horizontally, attempting to cut his upper half from the lower, right in the centre of what was presumably Voldemort's main base.

Voldemort was quick, faster than a snakebite, and the long curving blade held in the Dark Lord's single useful hand managed to block and parry before digging in more than half an inch. With a second twist the two handed purple grip was torn from Harry's hand, and the blade itself tumbled end over end, impaling deeply into the Heelstone of long broken Stonehenge.

With triumph in his eyes and a smirk on his lips, Voldemort's Vorpal Katana crashed down to end the life of his most troubling foe.

','

"Get another Blood Replenisher down his throat." Sirius barked in command. His godson's scar had cracked open worse than he'd ever seen, lifesblood pouring, gushing, down Harry's face. It wasn't letting up, clotting, or being staunched in the least. And the flow rate was becoming dangerous.

With a funnel jammed down Harry's throat Hermione poured the red liquid steadily, as Bellatrix held his head in her arms, blood matted cloth pressed firmly to the gushing wound.

Varied states of worry were on the face of all those in the room, some well hidden, others far less so. Albus Dumbledore was feigning unconcern, with Wand of Destiny held tightly in his strong elderly grip. He was no fool, and neither was Harry when he'd ordered lethal force should Voldemort win, and his body end up under the control of his enemy.

If Harry did not win, this would be no simple changeover they could reverse. This was all or nothing, life and maybe soul itself at stake.

Five, maybe ten minutes after he began, Harry's body began to convulse. Shaken by fits and thrashing in seizure. This was not a good sign.

"He is losing." Tamsyn said, regrettable confidence lacing her tone. "Bollocks, I am going in."

"You're going WHAT?" Hermione screeched, still careful not to touch her girlfriend.

Tam ignored her, instead pealing back her brother's unseeing eyes, locking brown to green.

The redhead slumped to the ground, heart barely beating, lungs hardly drawing breath.

','

There was an echoing clang, and Harry swiftly came to the conclusion he wasn't dead. Eye cracking open he saw an exasperated Tamsyn Riddle, locking serpentine rapier with her other self, crouching over him with blade high behind her back.

"What took you so long?" Harry asked with a roll of his eyes.

"You mean you _expected_ me to try and Possess you?" Tam asked incredulously, anchoring with her legs and jettisoning the Dark Lord across the field, with Stonehenge remaining steady as battleground for the first time.

"Well of course." Harry shrugged indifferently, slowly getting to his feet and rubbing the hole where his right ear used to be. "You didn't expect me to do this on my own did you?"

The Dark Lord was back, and the older and younger version of the same soul began fighting in earnest. Harry ignored them for the time being, sauntering over to the Heelstone and his only weapon. Casually propping his right dragonhide boot onto the pale grey rock and gripping the hilt in both hands, Harry pulled with all his strength.

"King _bloody_ Arthur had to do this, it can't be that hard." Harry muttered, clashes and yelps of pain in the distance seeming unimportant.

It came free after worrying at it for an annoying length of time, and Harry fell on his arse, bruising his tailbone. Luckily no one saw it, so it didn't count. Spinning around he caught sight of Tam getting her firm little ass handed to her. Left, right, diagonally slashing downwards, each chopping blow barely being deflected as the redhead backed up steadily. She was taking some minor cuts each time, but nothing life threatening.

Harry skulked around the two fighters and came to a startling conclusion. Neither Tam nor Voldemort, and definitely not Harry himself, had any idea how to use a sword! The three had just been wailing on each other like a trio of total amateurs.

'Well, whatever.' Harry mused, carefully dropping into a trot toward the Dark Lord's back, jumping high into the air, and both hands bringing down his massive blade with gravity added momentum. Voldemort spun at the last instant and deflected of course. 'Gods damn it!'

','

"Hey!" Harry laughed at his friend. "I've just noticed something."

Lord Voldemort seemed to be getting _better_, which was kind of irritating, and they were both sporting some pretty impressive burns.

"What?" Tam asked, dropping into a roll, and nearly falling off the cliff-face they were fighting on. The location jumping began anew once Harry got his sword back. "And can it wait?"

"Well, it's just that this is a mindscape, a metaphor battle right?"

Swoosh, twist, upward slash, duck behind a tree, they were near the Acromantula's Clearing in the Forbidden Forest.

"Right?"

"Well, you can look like whatever you want can't you?" Harry said as if it were obvious, losing a couple of fingers in the process. "Yet you appear to still be in the body of little Ginny Weasley. You really ARE a girl!"

"You are the only person in the world who would notice something like that at a time like this."

Breathing heavily atop the Astronomy Tower, the pair seemed to be getting the hang of it. They just had to coordinate attacks, using Harry's broad blade defence at every opportunity to minimise the fireballs' effectiveness.

"Let's just kill this bastard, I'm getting tired."

"Yeah." Tam agreed, setting her feet, reappearing in the Hangelton Graveyard as she did so. "Hey, ugly self! You are going down, I have better things to do, and a girlfriend to fuck. Getting in the way of that is starting to piss me off."

The three ducked, dived, slashed, swung, and stabbed. Taking injuries which should have bled more than they did, losing limbs which should as hurt more than they seemed to, and taking gashes which by all rights ought to be fatal.

Eventually, standing in the Chamber of Secrets, slain Basilisk curled around them, Tamsyn rapier pierced Voldemort's chest, and Harry's Vorpal Sword took his head from its shoulders.

The broken man had no last words, his faux body, metaphor, both real and unreal, dissolved in a shimmer of a thousand specks of colour, beams of light hitting him from every direction. The mist which was left leaped toward the brother's of nigh identical magic, lancing through the eyes, and blocking out all sight.

That was the last either of them knew.

','

Harry woke with such a monster headache it just wasn't even fair. He refused to open his eyes, instead opting for a completely understandable, pitiable groan. "He's awake." The voice of pure evil, -hellspeak, the kind which makes ones bones and mind hurt merely hearing- spoke in a clipped English accent of one raised by the middle class.

"Die screaming 'Mione" He managed, barely comprehensibly.

Perhaps he'd been drinking again?

He didn't know.

Maybe he'd taken an axe to the head or something, or could conceivably convince someone to _find him an axe_, and use it on him. There were lots more examples of the language spoke only by the damned, but Harry still refused to open his eyes, or attempt to comprehend what was being said.

"E_h_-kn_ee_ chance, Pain 'Otion?"

"Tamsyn is dead you fool," Hermione shrieked at him, notching the headache up just a little further "a little bit of pain hardly compares to that now does it."

Ah, that explains why she's so grumpy at least. Harry opened his eyes and grasped a small purple potion, with a swirly wash and terrible taste the agony wreaking havoc throughout his skull began to lessen. He rolled over, ignoring the still damp bloodstains soaking his clothes, and crawled toward Tam's still form.

With a hand to her thin pale neck Harry discovered a lack of heartbeat. "Yep, dead." He simply said.

"You do not seem all that broken up about it 'Arry." Fleur observed a touch coldly.

"Her deeds and legacy will live on…" Harry told the room grandly, even though he was lying a pool of his own blood "…like the sweet sounds of Parsel whispering on the wind." Hermione looked like she was going to kill him for this cavalier attitude, but Harry kept on waxing poetic. "Always know that she will be with us all, in our hearts and minds forever."

_§For the love of Merlin please just tell them I am still alive!§_ A Tam Possessed Nagini screamed in annoyance. When Harry kept on spewing meaningless drivel the huge Viper slithered onto the table and made an aggressive move, predatory and threatening to bite. _§Now!§_

_§Fine, you ruin all my fun.§_

_§How did you know?§_

_§Know what?§_

_§That it would work. That you would win, and that I would come rescue you.§_

The room was looking with various states of incomprehension at Harry and Nagni's conversation using Parseltongue. Hermione worked out what must have happened first and voiced her suspicion to the air. "Nagini is Tam? Wait, Tam has a Shade form? What the hell."

"That's right Hermione." Harry turned to her with a smile. "My hunch was that defeating Voldemort in my head, and with the help of another part of his soul, would transform Tam into the _Primary_ Soul Fragment. Thereby making me Tam's Horcrux."

"So, no more changeovers?" Sirius asked.

"No more changeovers." Harry agreed.

Everyone looked at each other for a while, thinking through this latest and most ridiculous impossibility. None of them could understand the incensed hissing of the large green snake on the table.

_§What do you mean _**hunch**_?§_ Tam hissed. Seeing Harry just smiling benignly and refusing to answer she tried again. _§What do you mean Harry? Hunch? You were _scamming_ me weren't you!§_

"Come on, let's rebirth dear Tamsyn."

','

In the Ritual Room on Caerbannog, a small group were gathering around a large cauldron and Tam was busy Possessing a conjured grass snake, fearful of harming her Familiar by spending too much time in the Viper's body. Hermione was unaware Caerbannog even _had_ a Ritual Room, but was holding herself back from commenting. The shock of her girlfriend's death, and then not death had kind of shaken her a little.

Harry cracked open a small can, similar in appearance to one normally filled with a fizzy drink, and began emptying a murky potion of brown purple liquid into the cauldron. The can was clearly bigger on the inside because the liquid kept on flowing until the massive thing was filled almost to the brim.

Tam kept a few of these Rebirth Potions stocked for Harry dying emergencies, so they wouldn't have to brew from scratch everytime. "We're going to have to tweak it a little because the ingredients are slightly different." Harry said aloud.

_§I know, I know,§ _the cantankerous snake hissed in annoyance _§a couple extra Eye of Newt and throw in some Runespoor Skin on the second stirring cycle.§ _Everyone looked kind of bemused as Harry simply set about heating and stirring, and preparing.

"Right, here we go." The messy haired teen began after a long while. "Bone of the Forerunner unknowingly given. Voldemort's pelvis, taken from his corpse after Hermione killed him."

"Why the pelvis Harry?" Hermione asked with a shake of the head.

"It amuses me."

"Flesh of an Ally willing shared…" Harry began, waving over to his brunette friend "…this was why we had to tweak the potion, you're up Hermione."

"What?"

"If you do it, it should cancel the Blood Protection, and you two can get back to…" Harry didn't get to finish, as a sliver of her skin was dropped into the potion enthusiastically.

"And blood of an Enemy forcibly taken…" Harry said to the air "…Shit I forgot to capture a Death Eater."

_§Oh just use your own blood you idiot.§ _Tam commanded from the floor _§Zap the potion with the Resurrection Stone to make up the difference§_

"**I'm** your enemy?" Harry bemusedly asked.

_§I am going to strangle you as soon as I get a body back, so yes!§_

_§Think you can take me Riddle?§ _He taunted. "Bella, I need you to _forcibly_ take some of my blood, so I'm going to have to fight back."

The potion was fizzing a burning red colour which hurt the eyes, while Harry and Bellatrix got into a smackdown. They had around a five minute window to get all the ingredients into the cauldron, even with the leeway offered by the Resurrection Stone. It took Bellatrix ninety seconds to slash open a cut on Harry's arm, as he flayed and kicked as best he could to prevent her from doing so.

Casually tossing in the conjured dagger covered in Harry's blood, Bella went back to watching, and the potion burned a blinding white. It got zapped by the Stone, and turned a pale green. Finally Harry threw the tiny grass snake into the mess, simply assuming everything would work out fine.

As he did so he got the distinct impression most Dark Rituals were _not_ performed in such a shoddy and audacious manner.

Harry shamelessly raked his eyes over Tam's smooth pale skin, taking in her long firm legs, curves, and lines. Then he got to the face, and the scowl, and the knuckles as they met his jaw.

'The girl couldn't half punch like a heavyweight.'

','

Despite the near crippling levels of blood loss Harry managed to get in a few hits of his own, but as was inevitable, the naked redhead kicked the living shit out of him. It took Bellatrix and Dumbledore to restrain her long enough for Harry to recover and return to his feet.

"It worked, stop being a whiny little bitch." Harry told her, headache returning full strength.

Not really knowing what was going on, and standing between her son and the murderous proto-Dark Lord, Lily asked. "What happened? Why is she attacking you?"

"Your son is a manipulative fucking bastard." Tam swore vengefully. "That is what happened."

"Would you have gone for it had I asked?" Harry retorted. "Hey Tam, I want you to put your soul, your very existence on the line, based on nothing but a hunch and good intentions?" She was about to open her mouth but he interrupted. "No, you wouldn't have. It would have seemed too risky, and you'd have made me come up with another way. Like building him a prison or something less permanent he'd eventually escape."

"I don't understand what is going on either." Hermione put in.

Harry took the offered healing potion and warily found a seat across the room, far from the still pissed off Riddle girl.

"The reason I wanted Voldemort captured, was so I could basically… eat his soul." Harry started. "I _like_ being a Horcrux, its cool not having to worry about liver damage, or an assassin killing me due to my lack of vigilance." He sighed. "But I do _not_ like worrying about changeovers, or having a Dark Lord constantly making trouble for me. So I came up with an idea, I wanted my good friend Tamsyn to be the one I was connected to…"

"He wanted me, Voldemort, and himself all inside his body at the same time…" Tam took up the explanation, having obviously deduced most of it during the wait before rebirth. "…It should have just been screaming and willpower, but we got into a kind of imaginary sword fight, it was weird. Anyway, we destroy Voldemort's soul, and absorb maybe a little of what makes him… you know _him_."

"But Tam would not have gone through with it had I asked," Harry admitted "so I set up a situation where she'd have to make a snap decision, on whether or not to risk her existence to save me."

"And I acted the bloody hero." Tam said, hanging her head in dismay "Being around you guys is bad for my health!"

The room was quiet, absorbing this for the longest time. After a while Albus asked an obvious question. "How did you know it would work?"

"He didn't!" The redhead exploded.

"Did so." Harry lied obviously. "Fine, I was fifty percent sure it would work. My projections said so."

For some reason they were all glaring at him. Especially Tam.

"Suck it up, you're immortal now, Happy _fucking_ Birthday. No more Thanatophobia."

','

Hermione was shuffling her feet. This was all incredibly fascinating of course, and it had been an ever so long day. Duelling Voldemort, having people call her the greatest witch of the age, the aftermath. And then Harry attempting to vanquish the Dark Lord for good using a strange Chinese meal.

But none of that was the most important thing.

No, they were in this, until recently _unknown_ Ritual Room on Harry's floating home, and there was no longer any pressing need to do anything. The day was over, and any glares or incriminations could obviously wait until another time.

And well, Tam was all naked and sweaty. And they could touch again. After weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks, of _not_ being able to get touched by Tam.

Okay, so maybe her thoughts were running a little wild, but that was clearly the important part about this wasn't it? It _had_ been weeks, WEEKS!

"Oh for heaven sake." Harry blurted. "We can talk about this tomorrow Tam, Hermione looks like she's about to explode."

Shifting her weight from foot to foot, Hermione blushed, but refused to lower her gaze as her girlfriend turned big brown eyes on her. Tam was just looking at her for a while without expression, and she blushed a little harder.

"You are absolutely correct Harry." She said. Carefully making her way over to Hermione, Tam lightly brushed the smallest finger of her left hand against the brunette's cheek. Noting the lack of screaming or fire, she concluded the Blood Protection had been blessedly neutralised. "Goodnight all."

Then Hermione was lifted off her feet and over Tam's surprisingly strong shoulders.

The two women left the room without another word.

','

Sitting down to breakfast the next day, Harry was snacking on a light repast, chatting with Fleur and his mother, there was no sign of Tam and Hermione. Tonks had a Galleon riding on the two not emerging until late in the afternoon, but Harry's money was on tomorrow morning at the earliest.

"Hey you guys, my Dark Mark has changed." Bellatrix told them, strolling in with little Rose.

"Really?"

"What's it changed into?" Harry asked in interest.

"It looks like a bunny rabbit crossed with a spanner for some reason." She rolled up her left sleeve and showed them. There it was, the greatest of apex predators and a tool the yanks call a wrench. "I like it." Bella said.

"Yeah, me too." Harry agreed. "It has something, a grandness too it maybe."

They all sat and Harry set about feeding his daughter, she never cried when he was there. It was the weirdest thing according to his mother, the only one who actually had any experience in the matter. Sirius came in a while later looking a little hungover.

"Scrimgeour wants to talk to you."

"Tell him I'm currently engaged in matters of grave magnitude, and I'll get back to him." Padfoot didn't respond, and without turning Harry finished. "You brought the Mirror into the room during a mealtime didn't you?"

It really wasn't a question, and Sirius should have known better than to fly in the face of policy.

"Good morning Minister." Harry greeted with the grin he knew Scrimgeour hated more than any other. "What may I do for you today?"

"Is He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named dead for good this time?" The man stated his question bluntly.

"Yes."

He moved to hand the Mirror back to his godfather when Scrimgeour interrupted. "The Death Eaters still control Hogwarts and the Ministry, what are you planning on doing to combat them?"

"Me? Plan?" Harry asked in confusion, returning to the communication device. "What are you on about?"

"You are contracted to fight the Death Eaters."

Rubbing his temples Harry asked "Who is in charge, do you know?"

"Our sources suggest Draco Malfoy is currently in command."

"Well there you go then. None of my business."

Scrimgeour was visibly fighting back a headache, Harry could tell, he knew the signs well enough. "The Death Eate-"

"These aren't Death Eaters." Harry interrupted. "If Malfoy is in charge, you are fighting The Earl of the North, and his Black Guard. A totally different Dark Lord and a completely different set of minions. If you want to contract me again, I'll be willing to negotiate."

"For Merlin's sake Potter!" Scrimgeour spat, having heard the title Earl of the North and been hoping Harry hadn't. Ah, the wonders of a time travelling friend and completely unpredictable future knowledge. "What do you want?"

Harry gave the man a big friendly smile.

','

','

**Blasphemous Omake Begins**  
(you will be offended, look away)

','

High on Mount Olympus, a place of many names, the Clouded Mountain, the Chariot to name just a few, a grouping of powerful forces crowd around a water cooler which encompasses all of time and all of space.  
"He cannot win!" Yahweh declared, running a hand through his shaggy blonde hair, and ignoring a glare from Lucifer, his ex-wife. "This incarnation of Voldemort, he is simply too strong."  
"I must say I agree." Gautama Buddha spoke, knocking back a snifter of cheep Russian vodka. "What the fuck are we going to do?"  
"We have to ask…" Mighty Thor hesitated and gave a smoker's cough, idly scratching her enormous rack and having second thoughts about the gender reassignment surgery "…_**Her**_."  
"Don't be a fool!" The one who was blacked out by a censorship rectangle commanded. "She only helps those of pure heart."  
"We have to try." Fawkes declared, black trenchcoat billowing awesomely, looking like the biggest badass alive, all unshaven and cool looking.

The forces of creation track **you** down and ask **you** to ask _Her_ on their behalf.

Sacrifice your firstborn to the altar of Trope-tan, beg the Goddess to share her wisdom, and if you are righteous, and just, and pure of heart, she will answer, as so few deities ever do.  
"Heed my call oh cyan mistress, how must one overcome the might of a foe specialising in the Xanatos Gambit?" You ask, voice shaking in the presence of the almighty. The woman known worlds over as the sole victor of The Game, and as instrumental in ending the Lumper vs. Splitter wars, though neither knew for sure which side she'd been fighting for.  
"There are but three ways." She answers, momentarily distracted by the ball hanging from one of her many belts, heterochromatic eyes flashing with savviness at a depth no god nor mortal could hope to achieve. "Although in this current incarnation, only a single method could you employ."  
"Tell me, use your goggles of farsight, oh quill wielding gunslinger…" You plead, momentarily confident, her great age and youthfulness intimidating you only a little "…what must be done to defeat this evil overlord?"  
"It is by Spanner alone that will see the end of this great quest."  
Then she was gone, as if never there.  
And you now knew what had to be done.

','

(you can look now)  
**Blasphemous Omake Over**

','


	35. Who's the better Killer, Let's Play

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Thirty Five: Who's the better Killer, Let's Play

','

Harry won his Galleon from Tonks of course. It was the next morning, if only just, Tam flopping down in the main room with visible signs of exhaustion at 11:58am. She was looking good, and Harry told her as much, causing her to smile a smile he'd bet, never in his entire life, had Voldemort sported across his visage.

"No Hermione?" He asked wryly.

"Sleeping soundly." She answered with the pride of a job well done.

Some of the thoughts and ideas he'd been running through over the past couple of days made themselves known, but Harry was content to just sit in a companionable silence for a while. The war was over, no more idiotic Prophecy, no more Dark Lord, no more Azkaban Prison. Freedom from all his responsibilities. Not that Harry really took many of his responsibilities all that seriously, but it was the thought that counted.

"So we are going to live forever now?" Harry asked his brother eventually. She'd finished her breakfast fruit and was drinking down a big jug of orange juice.

"Not quite." Tam told him, nothing seemed to be shifting that smile anytime soon.

"But the Horcrux? If you die I can revive you." Harry frowned "And if I die, you can revive me."

"The Horcrux ritual allows one to survive the death of their body, but if the person were to die of old age, the other piece of soul would die too."

"So if you die of old age, my scar vanishes?"

"Yeah." Tam confirmed. "This is why Voldemort had no reproductive organs, nor the drive of sexuality. That was the sacrifice for a counterpoint ritual which rendered his body ageless."

"So Voldemort could survive death, and didn't age." Harry repeated. "I can't imagine you making that kind of sacrifice though."

"Yeah well, Hermione wasn't at Hogwarts during the forties was she?" Tam said with that same smile. "Friggin' spitfire that girl, and I can tell you Voldemort wouldn't have gone to those lengths either if she _had_ been around."

"How romantic."

"Fuck you."

"Only if Hermione watches."

"Gah!" the redhead shuddered "I'm _still_ a guy remember!"

"Not according to your mindscape self."

"Look, I see myself in this body, but I am still _male_…" Tam told him slowly and precisely "…I don't see how you are finding this so hard to accept. You seem to take everything else in stride easily enough."

"You're a girl, ner ner ne ner ner!" Harry taunted.

A thought struck the redhead and she pointed asked. "Are you saying girls are inherently inferior?"

"Why of course." Harry said simply. Knowing the two were not alone in the room, and that more than one of the people onboard the airship might have a problem with that statement. "It's not as if I have any competent females in my life."

Lily, who had been listening in on this conversation began scowling and Harry pretended not to notice.

"I see." Tam said, noticing the green eyed man was just fucking with his mother. "I suppose that makes a kind of sense."

The two began digging themselves into a nice big hole as the conversation delved deeper and deeper into a bunch of misogynistic bullshit which was sure to rile up any real female listening into it. When Lily eventually bolted from the room in an indescribable rage, the two just shared a mischievous smile.

"Yeah, my girlfriend won the Tri-Wizard Tournament."

"And mine is Albus Dumbledore's Apprentice."

"And Luna is just as scary as Bellatrix in her own way."

"And don't forget your mother twice defeated Voldemort at his full power."

They both started laughing. It was going to be fun dealing with whatever the girls of Caerbannog were going to come up with to make them pay. Always play the long game, that way nobody will be able to keep up.

"Oh shit I forgot." Harry exploded after a while. "We have another job to do."

"Hmm?"

"I took a contract to defeat Draco Malfoy, retake Hogwarts, an end the war." Harry told her. "And I said you and I would do it alone."

Tam frowned. "What did you ask for in return?"

"Well I didn't want to disturb you, while you were, y'know… busy." He began. "So I just got cash for you."

"Fair enough."

"I made Scrimgeour agree to deal with the Goblins, and alter a treaty to basically get me in the clear with Griphook and his guys." Tam was about to remind him about naming all the Goblins the same was one of the things which pissed them off about him, but thought better of it. "And he has to convince Liz to make Caravel Caerbannong a Province of Great Britain."

"Like Monaco or the Flamel Estate?" She asked.

"Yeah."

She mulled it over in the head for a while. "That is actually a pretty good idea. We would have a level of autonomy even when you do not have the Ministry by the balls thanks to the Prophecy."

"That's what I was thinking."

Right then a group of incensed witches stormed into the main room, looking at the two with thunderous expressions. 'This was going to be fun.' They both thought, hiding their smiles.

','

There was morning dew on the grass, and early rays of sunshine braking their way across the grounds of Hogwarts School in late August, as Harry Potter and Tamsyn Riddle stood alone facing the great fortress. They were both wearing standard Auror Robes, albeit ones charmed a dark green as both refused point blank to wear anything which could be misinterpreted as a support for average Joe Auror.

Harry was wearing a bandana which he'd been repeatedly assured did NOT make him look like a Shinobi, Lily's offhand comment had almost made him remove the thing entirely. He would not do something like this if people said he was giving off a Ninja-ish vibe.

The bandana itself was actually a pretty impressive magical object in its own right. It was a long strip of Ironbelly hide, painstakingly shrunk with the might of the Elder Wand, and adorned with a number of protection runes. In theory it should be able to withstand a single Killing Curse, and was predictably tied around his famous scar, with a Sticking Charm holding it in place.

"_Sonorous!"_

"Ladies and gentlemen, magical creatures, and other assorted enemies. My name is Lord Harry Potter, direct descendent of Godric Griffindor, and my companion is the Lady Tamsyn Riddle, direct descendent of Salazar Slytherin…"

Harry paused and Tam took up the little speech.

"Surrender now, and cede our Castle to our control. Do this immediately and without reservation or we will destroy you."

As Hogwarts was currently defended by hundreds of former Death Eaters, a pack of Giants, two Goblin Armies, and a swath of disloyal Ministry people, this demand was met with incredulity. Tam and Harry were well known as being powerful in their own right, but two people standing there alone, without any apparent backup… They weren't _that_ good!

Two people couldn't defeat an army on their own. It was ridiculous.

A flash of Unforgivable green was fired from extreme range, but was miles off target, and the two didn't even bother to flinch.

"I don't think they're going for it." Harry said unnecessarily.

"Excellent." Tam smiled. "Can you still do your Patronus Mist?"

"Yeah why?" Harry asked, ignoring a few other green bolts which were just as off target as the first.

"Have you heard of the spell _'Traumata' _Harry?"

"That's one of the standard Dark Curses isn't it? Not even covered by the Interdict of Merlin…" Harry began casting his mind back, it wasn't really his kind of magic if he recalled correctly. "…It makes the target feel overwhelming fear and intimidation right? The Trauma Curse?"

"Correct." She smiled, wandlessly pushing the correct intent through her aura. "I've been practicing this since I first saw you do the Mist wandlessly."

Harry hastily pushed the Patronus Mist through his own aura so as not to be affected, and the slivery wisps of energy interacted with Tam's menacing shadow.

"This is gonna be fucking awesome!" Harry said, as the two took off at a run toward the Castle.

','

The front door to the Entrance Hall had still been blasted open from where the Death Eaters forced their way in a few days earlier, and even better the fact Dumbledore had sabotaged the Castle Wards, meaning their enemies could not raise the millennia old protections without the Headmaster's aid.

"_Pupugi."_ Harry whispered, coming out of a roll, taking a black cloaked figure in the chest as Tam sent roiling green fire at the masked group.

They were ducking, dodging, shielding and cursing. Harry's animal sacrifice defence working to keep them both shielded. Tam sidestepped a Cruciatus Curse and took another figure with a bolt of purple lightning.

Where the black and silver Mists washed over their opponents, a great jolt of happiness raised spirits and made the enemy uplifted and confident, right before harrowingly being dragged to a terrible depth of horror and despair. The shear depths of terror displayed on their faces would normally have filled Harry with a detached sense of dread, but the obvious shaking of their moral simply made him smirk.

And curse.

A flowing wave of Hoarfrost took the last three members, covered them in biting cold of sub zero temperatures, and threw the trio across into the far wall. Tam seemed to be getting back to her feet, and they both carefully made their way through a secret passageway, deeper into the Castle.

"Merlin, none of their guys are very powerful are they?" Tam voiced her thoughts.

"They are probably testing us to see if we really _are_ alone." Harry said with a shake of the head. "This terror/joy attack is pretty fucking cool though!"

They broke into a wide corridor on the second floor and came across a detachment of Goblins. Tam opened up the _Crash & Bash_ spell-chain they'd learned from Tonks, and Harry joined in using Twofold Casting.

Harry took another javelin of Goblin Iron in the shoulder with a howl of pain and irritation, but once Tam broke out the Cruciatus Whip the opponents were downed readily enough.

While cauterising the wound the two were again attacked by a more organised group of about a dozen black cloaked figures. They defeated this group too, at the cost of a hexed off foot on the redhead's end, and a big chunk of face for the dark haired man's part.

"Okay, they are starting to do damage." Tam voiced, with Harry just nodding as he couldn't talk. "Just stick to nonverbal, you'll be fine."

And so it was that on the stairs leading from the second floor to the fifth, Harry and Tam were viciously cut down in an ambush from both sides. A wide area Confundus derivative hit every attacker, and when they recovered, both bodies were found to be missing.

','

"You should have tried some of the tuna." Came Harry's voice, roaring with magically enhanced volume across the field toward Hogwarts Castle.

"Buttermilk pancakes with black coffee," came Tam's bellowing reply "much better for brunch if you ask me."

It was a little before 10am and the two were wearing identical green Auror Robes, and had no injuries whatsoever.

"Ahem!" Harry's voice carried across the field "Surrender or be destroyed."

The defenders sent Giants after them, and a wave of former Death Eaters in support. Tam kept the humans busy for the most part, using a couple of her famous Hydra constructs, and Harry set about tackling the first Giant. He'd won the coin toss after all.

He had to Vorpal Bunny out the way of a thick club more than once, and he almost got stepped on by one of the smaller females. Direct damage spells were having little effect, here in the clearing between the Forbidden Forest and Hogwarts School, so Harry was forced to get creative.

He conjured a thin rope as long and strong as he could make it then yelled "Tie this to my foot!" to Tam before going Rabbit once again. Hopping and dodging, making small bunny leaps, Harry kept crisscrossing in and out of the largest Giant's legs until the rope was nicely tangled. After wandlessly scorching the rope on his foot he returned to human form and sprinted toward the head.

"Just like Dragons." The high level piercing curse stabbed through the creature's massive eye.

Meanwhile Tam watched three Killing Curses being charged to fire at a staggering volley, and aimed her Yew wand at the closest foe. _"Vetka Sanitas!"_ Sent an azure arrow into the man's forehead, scattering his mind with a spell known as the Sanity Hammer.

The AK light struck her in the chest, but in Shade form Tam flew over to the stunned looking figure wearing black, hastily taking Possession of the body in no fit state to fight back.

With a blink and half a moment to get used to being over six feet tall, and in a male body again, Tam looked over to see her Yew wand vanish, before turning on this man's former friends. Two swift AKs and they would not be killing anyone again.

Harry died under a Giant's foot, and Tam spent a while shooting people in the back before her host form succumbed to too much Dark Magic and she started to feel dizzy. Eventually she became lightheaded enough to miss the blasting hex which killed her.

','

"What's for lunch?" Harry asked, stepping out the cauldron, shrugging on a third set of green Auror Robes, and taking hold of his wand.

"We are 'aving lamb with boiled potatoes 'Arry." Fleur informed him, for whatever reason she'd made sure to be present at both rebirths so far. What a pervert.

"Taking a liking to English food?" Harry said with a smile "And here I thought you were a patriot."

"What's for lunch?" Tam asked a few moments later, doing the exact same things Harry had, in precisely the same order.

"Lamb."

"Nice." The redhead commented, noticing Hermione had made sure to be present for both rebirths so far. What a pervert.

Sitting around the dinner table, the group was in pretty high spirits. Bella was pouting, unhappy she couldn't join in, and Harry kind of felt bad for her. Bellatrix would've friggin' loved this. Fight, and fight, and fight some more, and eventually die in a blaze of glory. Only then you get to do it all over again, not harm done… to their side at least.

"May I ask the function of the azure spell you cast, not a moment before being dispatched by the Killing Curse?" Albus asked after finishing his sugary tea.

"It's called a Sanity Hammer, really obscure but still traditional Latin magic." Tam told him. "Remember the Anima Shatter Potion we used to scatter Harry's mind and help the Intent-only Memory Charm work?" Dumbledore nodded in interest "Basically a smaller, wanded, and far more transient version of that. Its purpose was to make Possession easier."

"Can't argue with the effectiveness." Harry commented happily.

Thirty minutes later Tam had applied a _Sonorous_ and finished her spiel confidently "Surrender of be destroyed."

It was around one in the afternoon and Albus was following behind the pair at a safe distance, just as he had the previous two times. At the beginning of the day the true Masters of the Hallows had gifted the old man with their trinkets, making him the temporary Master of Death, so long as he followed the True Masters' wishes anyway.

The Cloak of Invisibility kept him concealed from sight, safe to recover their wands and bodies when they fell, and Confound any who saw them die. The Resurrection Stone allowed him to revive his young friends, and in an ever startling realisation, Albus discovered that they _were_ friends, not just allies.

Lastly, _his_ Hallow, the Wand. Possibly least remarkable of all, yet it offered unparalleled force at his fingertips. Enough power to defeat a great many foes, and recover at very least, the head of Harry Potter, and thusly ensure the survival of them both.

The two did not move as seamlessly as he'd seen some move and fight, there was rawness and individuality in Harry and Tamsyn's differing styles. Nevertheless the two counterpointed one another surprisingly well, the unsettling Terror/Patronus Mist was quite astounding to watch. And as ever, the application of wandless animal guardians.

Dumbledore had never imagined such a skill, as it was so _out of nowhere_, the kind of defence to be found in no duelling manuals or ancient tomes.

Tracking the pair down a fourth floor staircase, both well battered from various bits of spellfire, and it looked as though it were only a matter of time, Albus came to the conclusion that such rare and he'd have to admit _bizarre_ method of combat suited the young hero's personality quite well.

Watching Harry take a _Telum Glacis_, -or Ice Spear- to the throat, Dumbledore almost chuckled. Harry would hate being labelled the hero he truly was.

Tamsyn fell a few moments later, and Dumbledore nonverbally sent another wide area Confundus Charm into all the enemy combatants. He retrieved both bodies, and conjured a small snake for the Shade form of Ms. Riddle to Possess.

Albus didn't much like this plan, but had to agree with Harry's reasoning, the only casualties would be on the side of the _'bad guys.'_

','

"They are demons Draco! They get further and further every time." Mr. Crabbe shouted at him, voice surprisingly high pitched for such a large man was a given, but the _shouting_ …that was unheard of. Vince took control of himself, mask of the bodyguard falling into place with long practice, but his tone was no less intense. "What do you want us to do?"

Draco Malfoy sat behind his desk and poured a large glass of expensive Dwarf brewed whiskey. The creatures were all but discredited in the current magical world, but their top end alcohol had a kick you couldn't ignore.

"What happened?" Draco asked. Seeing the tale was going to be fanciful he cut across "Facts! I do not wish to hear the word _demon_ even once."

"Two full squads massacred." Mr. Crabbe began, shifting into his briefing tone, and showing the world all the competency his family had instilled in him. "They were stationed behind a Goblin ambush, so it was not as though they were coming at us fresh…

…there was this large golden dome, I don't know, it was impossible." Vince halted, clearly thinking back to what happened in an attempt to stick to the facts. "Our spells just bounced off it, and there was a singing… Phoenix song! That's what it reminded me of, only there wasn't a Phoenix, and our curses were having no effect."

'_Phoenix song?'_ Draco thought, pondering the possibilities before ordering "Go on…"

"The dome dropped and the _demon-_, and the two fighters were back on their feet good as new." Mr. Crabbe paused. "Now that I think back, I believe they were using _Stims_ maybe. Dilated eyes, and lack of proper judgement, Potter and Riddle looked to be doped to high heaven." He thought back to the curse which took Greg and put him in the Hospital. His best mate would live, fully recover even, but it had been a close thing. "I'm not too sure what happened next Mr. Malfoy. I was hit with something and woken by a Medi-Witch about five minutes before I got here."

Draco waved the man to sit as he thought on the briefing and today's events. His forces had taken a hammering, and moral was on the ragged edge. With the Dementors having abandoned them days ago things were looking bleak. When the Dark Lord was in charge events, even apparent failures had always been turned into positives, under their Lord's powerful judgement.

The Dark Lord was dead though, Draco knew that, even if he didn't say so out loud. Some of the former Death Eaters would not take kindly to that obvious truth. Bah, he'd seen his father's Dark Mark as a child. Even faded Draco had been able to discern its shape, but now? Now it was gone, as though never there. Voldemort, his mentor, and he'd grudgingly admit occasional source of inspiration, was dead, and dead for good.

"The Lady Riddle and Lord Potter politely ask you to **surrender or be destroyed**" Came a strong feminine voice, powerfully amplified by magic, oh so late on this most hateful of days.

"Fuck it, can you get Greg on his feet?" Draco asked. Pausing in thought Vincent Crabbe fudged his answer. "Not for a fight, just on his feet."

"Yes Mr. Malfoy, he will be ready."

"Good man."

They moved off, with orders not to engage the duo, and to pull back as fast as possible into defensible positions. A quarter of an hour later Draco was flanked by both his bodyguards again as he applied the amplification magic to his throat.

"We wish to negotiate with Albus Dumbledore and Rufus Scrimgeour." Shouted the aristocratic voice of the man in charge of this Castle Fortress.

"You are not weaselling your way out of this one Malfoy." Potter responded from below, dual flaring auras visibly whipping around the two fighters. "Half the reason I accepted this job was co I could legally kill you."

"We are willing to negotiate." Dumbledore replied having removed an Invisibility Cloak. He must have been standing there the whole time.

"No were not bloody well going to negotiate with this bastard." Potter shouted. "He's named himself a Dark Lord, and I've taken a contract to kill him."

"If he wants to negotiate, I am all for a peaceful solution." Dumbledore replied calmly.

What followed was a huge quantity of childish bickering.

','

On the first of September Harry had been made to ride the Hogwarts Express _again_! He complained incessantly about it, as he always did.

The Sorting Ceremony passed as did every year, the scouse Hat having been destroyed earlier in the year using Fiendfyre because it kept telling Harry to _'Calm Down'_ in its ridiculous accent. The current Hat had actually been created by Lily mapping her own mind and using it as a template, its voice had a husky sexiness too it which was quite pleasing to hear.

Professor Riddle was at the Staff Table for the second year running, so either the Defence Position Curse was lifted by Voldemort's demise, or more likely Tam Riddle's magic was immune to the effects. Harry diligently spent the entire Welcoming Feast glaring from the Griffindor Table to the Slytherin Table, attempting to burn the blonde seventh year to death with nothing but the force of his gaze.

"If you want me to kill him…" Pretty Bella began leadingly.

Harry didn't respond either positively or negatively, despite Hermione's pointed look. Noticing the glare wasn't working, and deciding it was probably a range problem, he got to his feet and stomped his way across the Great Hall, still damaged from the recent battles fought there. He sat directly opposite the man, hoping a closer glare would make him burst into flames.

"Evening Harry." Malfoy greeted cheerfully.

"I am going to kill you." Harry said firmly. "And you don't get to use my first name."

"Why so grouchy Harry?"

His eye twitched at the name, but he kept on glaring. "How could you _possibly_ have gotten away with everything without any comeuppance at all?"

"Gotten away with what?" The blonde Slytherin bastard asked with interest.

"How about all of your many crimes?" Harry suggested. "Unforgiveable use for example."

"There is no evidence I've ever cast an Unforgivable in my life." Malfoy said "You on the other hand…"

"You Imperius Cursed Neville Longbottom!"

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did, we can't prove it but you did!" Harry insisted. "And what about all those volleys of AKs?"

"They were all Slug Spitters, my solicitor said so."

Harry began twitching with fury, hands begging to be wrapped around the man's throat. "You _killed_ me!"

He raised an eyebrow. "I thought your official stance was that you were in Detroit?"

"You spiked Fleur Delacour with Amortentia and attempted to marry her!" Harry growled.

"I also got Gerard Delacour with a Draught of Distrust charged with your hair," Malfoy admitted with a shrug "unless you really believe the woman's father would go to such lengths to keep her from you without aid?"

Harry hesitated a little "So you are saying the man _doesn't_ hate me?"

"No he hates you alright, that is why the Draught worked so well."

"Bugger." Harry sighed, before anger at Malfoy returned and he opened his mouth to keep on…

"You killed my father." Malfoy interrupted.

"So? He put me in Azkaban."

"You destroyed my Ancestral Home, and emptied my Family Vault." Harry's lips quirked in remembrance. "This war has cost House Malfoy almost _two percent_ of its fortune."

Okay, that just pissed Harry off even more, how rich was this fucker? He stewed in silence for a while, fuelling his rage as much as he could eventually grind out "So you think you can just come back to Hogwarts like nothing happened?"

Again Malfoy shrugged it off as unimportant. "You win some you lose some."

The blasé, yeah whatever, just taking everything in stride attitude really did a number on the rabbit animagus. Had Malfoy done anything else, _anything_ at all, justifying himself, attempted to come up with some kind of defence, or worse _apologise_ for anything, Harry would have killed him within the week. But to just sit there like it was no big deal, implying **Harry** was _taking life too seriously_…

"Damn it!"

Harry stormed out the room to go get drunk, just as the Felix Felicis Draco's godfather had given him wore off.

','

The victory got worse the next morning, sitting at breakfast with Tam and Hermione down at the Ravenclaw Table chatting idly. A barn owl carrying a distinctive blue parchment and embossed with a Higher Gnome insignia dropped down in front of him, and Harry recognised it as his yearly bank statement, a little late and a little thicker than it normally was.

He opened the letter from Zurich and spent ten minutes absorbing the columns of numbers, before repeatedly slamming his head against the table. "What's it say Harry?" His brunette friend asked him, and he just handed over the letter.

"I didn't know the Rebirth Potion cost 300 Galleons each time." Hermione stated in surprise.

"Wow, the Runic Array Cube," Tam said in amazement "almost 40'000 Galleons."

"What's that like 2 million pounds sterling?"

"Yeah."

"Caerbannog maintenance, motor vehicle repairs…" Hermione listed off the numbers "Wow, I never realised how much all that fancy food and drink you consume _cost_."

Harry was of course steadily slamming his head against the table, his friends not really helping at all. Hindering, and taunting, but not really helping.

"22'000 for our trip to the Black Forest, and all the ingredients for the Daemon Raising plan." They continued in agonising detail. "Private rooms and, oh my god, Polyjuice expenditure… what a huge number."

"Will one of you float me some cash?" Harry asked in desperation.

"You could always get a job." Hermione sweetly suggested.

"Get a what?" Harry choked. "Don't you swear at me like that!"

"That is how most people raise money." Tam agreed with a solid mask showing absolutely no emotion.

"Bloody fucking hell, I owe Kwan Chang-Ho six hundred Galleons, I _need_ the cash!" Harry snapped, memory flooding into the forefront of his mind. "That guys isn't like Voldemort, he's _legitimately_ scary!"

"Do not worry Harry, I will lend you **exactly** six hundred Galleons, you got me all that gold for helping to defeat Draco Malfoy. It is the least I could do."

','

Harry eventually calmed down as the second of September wore on and he thought about it from a few different perspectives. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as he thought, Caerbannog was still in the sky and stocked for a couple of months easy, so he had time to come up with a bunch of ways to make cash which _didn't_ involve getting a job.

His favourite, which he decided he'd probably to do regardless of necessity, was to put Bellatrix on the Duelling Circuit fighting left handed, then place a huge bet on the final match once her odds were nice and long.

No, it was the next day, when Harry's victory got _even worse_.

The Chocolate Frog Company had approached them after the defeating the Dark Lord and they'd hashed out what they wanted putting on the half dozen new cards which were to be printed. They agreed for his to read:

Harry James Potter  
Captain of the Caravel of Caerbannog

Considered by many the craziest wizard of modern times,  
Harry is most famous for his defiance of the Dark Lord Voldemort,  
winning the Tri-Wizard Tournament,  
frequent slayings of dangerous magical creatures,  
and his publishing of groundbreaking theories in the field of Arithmancy.  
Harry Potter enjoys fifty year old scotch,  
and anything played on an electric guitar.

It had a truly awesome picture of himself, fully kitted out to impress, with the Union Jack billowing behind him as Bella in tiger form was curled around at his feet. So when he opened one of the first printings of this new card and found a **cute** picture of himself fast asleep, looking all of nine years old, he knew something was up. The card actually read:

Harry James Potter  
Currently a Student of Hogwarts

Considered by many the friendliest wizard of modern times,  
Harry is most famous for his mother's defeat of the Dark Lord Voldemort,  
being Hermione Ganger's sidekick at Hogwarts,  
and as Hogwarts' co-Champion in the Tri-Wizard Tournament.  
Harry Potter is a celebrated vegetarian,  
and enjoys being kind to small animals.

Hermione was of course, going to pay, and pay dearly for such a slight. But first thing was first, he needed to floo over to Diagon Alley and figure out where the Chocolate Frog Company was located. Muttering "I am **not** a vegetarian, I just like raw carrots" under his breath over and over, Harry stormed into Minerva McGonagall's office and had to politely _ask_ for some floo power.

He was less than pleased with what he learned. Hermione had apparently purchased a large share of the Chocolate Frog Company with her split of the book series' revenue. Upshot, they refused to go against such a prominent shareholder's orders, and those orders were for them to NOT change the Card regardless of what Harry threatened them with.

Bitch was bulletproof.

She informed him it was payback for turning her into a fictional character whose buxom chest was forever heaving.

Even Bella thought it was funny.

','

"Why is this happening to me?" Harry asked his companion on the first weekend of the school year.

"I for one think it is karma catching up to you 'Arry." Fleur told him with open amusement, all the while trying to choke down her food.

They were in a restaurant called the Agincourt, which was about ten minutes walk from Diagon Alley in Muggle London. The food was truly terrible, given it was an English restaurant _pretending_ to serve French cuisine, and anyone who had actually eaten French food would know this the instant they walked in the door.

"I am an Immortal, time defying, super wizard, who fought and vanquished what is arguably the most dangerous human being to have ever lived," Harry said loudly in front of the Muggles "I revived my mother after she was deceased for fifteen years, brokered peace with a distrustful nation of Vampires, and defeated an army with only a single wand-mate at my side…" He shook his head and took a bite of something smothered in Crème Anglaise "…that is all pretty fucking badass no matter how you slice it."

"Yet you _do_ step on a large number of toes doing these things." Fleur pointed out, anything which saw Harry torn down a notch was fine by her, especially if he expected her to smile while forced to eat this disgusting food. The part Veela chastised herself mentally. _'He _**is **_trying, I should be kinder.'_

"Only stupid people and sheep." Harry objected.

"They are still people though."

"Fine, just a string of bad luck is all." He trailed off for a while, taking in what a knockout the woman was, the waiter with his Israeli accent couldn't keep his eyes off her. Hmm, that gave him an idea. "If I kidnap all the leaders of Israeli and Palestinian governments and torture them until they sign a peace treaty, do you think the ICW would give me any cash?"

Fleur didn't answer, wrinkling her nose at the stupid question or the hideous tasting meal, he didn't know. "How is your newest book coming?" She asked after a while "'Zey are terrible and have too many plot holes but 'zat will earn you some money will it not?"

"**'****Duelling with Dark Lords'** is about finished. I just got through the scene where the Hermione heroine gets all her clothes ripped off by a surprising Parana attack just before having to fight this super demon with a big yellow piece of construction equipment." Harry told her excitedly.

"You know, 'Zat sounds awfully familiar to 'ze movie Aliens…" Fleur commented, "…just like the six fingered man's name being Lilac Montoya is familiar."

"Really?" Harry feigned surprise "I wouldn't know, I've never seen it." Seeing the platinum blonde was about to ask an uncomfortable question he went on. "Yeah, and I'm working in this huge twist. You remember how Septimus Snake has this huge following? Well it turns out his Code Name is EVA, and he's been working for the Vatican the whole time."

"'Ze Vatican?" Fleur exploded. "They aren't even in 'ze story at all are they?"

"No they aren't! That's the best part." The French woman just shook her head and smiled.

They fell into a companionable silence for a while and went back to heroically attempting to make it through the whole meal. After a few bites without the distraction offered by conversation, Fleur gave up and let her fork fall to her plate.

"Look 'Arry, I get 'zat you are trying, but 'zis place, eet is awful. Simply awful."

Harry pinned her with the full force of his green eyed stare for an extended moment. He didn't say anything, and his face was completely expressionless. Fleur began sifting her weight a little, and started feeling a bit bad about the complaint.

"It's about friggin' time." Harry said letting out a long breath. "You know, for a while there I thought you were going to make it through the whole meal without saying anything!"

"Wait. What?" Fleur spluttered.

"The place is even called the _Agincourt_ for Merlin's sake."

"You mean you brought me here on purpose?" Fleur asked, and then thought the whole thing through "You were **testing** me? Merde! Eet is so obvious now."

He waved the waiter over not a second later.

"Give her the cheque."

','

Lens of Sanity  
I asked my brain for one thing Draco could do which would make me hate him more than anything else… it insisted on Malfoy getting away with everything scot free! …My brain can be one sadistic fuck sometimes  
It took thirty minutes to track down the story describing the Agincourt; For Want of a Wand: Vlad the Inhaler … Harry spending his entire family Fortune was my sister's idea. She was sick of every Harry on the internet being stupidly wealthy


	36. End of the Beginning

','

An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

','

Chapter Thirty Six: End of the Beginning

','

Harry, Harry Potter,  
He's the greatest guy in historyeee.  
In the School of Hogwarts,  
Deh-lah-core is naked in his beeeeed.

"Way to stay classy 'Arry." Fleur's voice was muffled with sleep. "It did not even rhyme!"

Not even bothering to pretend to be doing anything other than the obvious Harry just replied. "I've been working steadily toward this since you called me a _'L_ee_tle boy'_ back fourth year. It is simply good to know even you bow to the inevitable awesomeness that is me."

She was probably going to make some scathing comment, but Harry casually kissed her to forestall such pointlessness.

"You 'ave really been trying since the very beginning?" She asked.

"Yeah," Harry said "I think so anyway. Although my reasons for doing so may have shifted a little over time."

"You remain the weirdest person I 'ave ever met." Fleur told him after a while. She sounded amused more than anything, amused and disbelieving.

"You're hardly a bastion of sanity yourself." She turned her head and raised a perfect eyebrow questioningly. "Stop and think about how you act around normal people for a minute. You walk into a room _expecting_ everyone will stop and look at you, I saw you abusing your Veela aura against that poor Israeli waiter last night to get us served faster…" He was going to continue but she was glaring at him. "I don't mean it's a bad thing, I do it too, so does Dumbledore and Luna. People don't count as real people, unless they treat you like a real person…"

"'Zat is hardly the same as holding your country to ransom, or fighting an unstoppable monster using a white rabbit animagus form."

"You would be surprised… I can get away with stuff like that, so I do it and get away with it." Harry said thoughtfully. "You do just the same only in different ways."

They were both quiet and Harry simply enjoyed the sensation of her soft skin, and the gorgeous scent of silky platinum hair. "I find it hard to believe the lengths you go to mess with people, **especially me!**" Fleur said that last firmly, gesturing vaguely toward a book on his shelf.

It was titled _'Sex which will get you into heaven: the Super-Christian's Guide'_ and following their real date, under the stars on the roof of Hogwarts Castle once again, he'd attempted to apply the advice written in that book …with predictably dreadful results.

That was _not_ what she was talking about though. No, the book was written _in French_. A language which Harry _spoke fluently_, only using Bon-Jow-Ah, and Mercy Buckets when in the girl's presence. He'd been doing it consistently since the first time he'd met Gerard Delacour during the diplomatic function, and she'd never twigged on.

"Well, you are equal to me when you have a wand in your hand Fleur Delacour, but I have no intention of _ever_ going easy on you…" He paused and scraped his teeth against her pale and lithe neck "…understand?"

She kissed him again, something Harry was sure he'd never get used to, and then responded simply "Oui, merci beaucoup."

','

It was late Sunday morning and Harry went in search of some lunch. Tam would be training with Bellatrix as she always did at this time every week, learning all kinds of Dark Arts way beyond what Harry was interested in. They'd been doing it since fifth year and it never occurred to anyone that they might stop now Voldemort had been defeated.

Similarly Hermione and Albus were occupied, the Apprenticeship Bond lasting until she'd learned everything she could from the old man, and if things were going the way Harry suspected, she'd be the leader of the free world in only a few short years. In all honesty she'd do a marvellous job, so once she was firmly entrenched he'd be able to sell all of the Hermione pornography he'd recorded with Luna, and at a premium no less.

Fleur was in France, futilely trying to undo the damage caused by Malfoy's Draught of Distrust, and Sirius was with his mother, having been suckered into babysitting duty. Harry had finally settled on Janus -one of Saturn's moons- for Bella's next kid if it was a boy, and she'd gone with Luna if it was a girl. Not because Bellatrix believed _Yellow_ to be dead, but because she thought it was a pretty name.

The upshot of all this being that Harry had nobody save Snape to talk to while he ate his lunch.

On a whim he strolled over to the Griffindor Table. "Mind if I sit here?"

The small group was stunned by this perfectly ordinary question, and simply looked at him with wide eyes. Fleur got this treatment all the time so he refused to be dissuaded on principle alone. "Sure Harry," the redhead agreed after a while "what have you been up to?"

"Not much Ron, just grabbing some lunch, I had a pretty hard night." He smiled at the vaguely remembered faces of the other Griffindors and noticed one girl's eyes were a similar colour to Bella's. "Are you a close relation of the Blacks? Erm, Lavender right?" She looked down and turned a weird shade of red so Harry didn't press. "What you been doing with yourself Ron, you're on the Quidditch team aren't you?"

"Er, yeah." Ron said strangely "McGonagall made me Captain, I even got into the Spring Leagues with the Appleby Arrows this year."

"Not the Cannons?" He asked in amusement.

"Nar, they're still the best team, but the training is better up North." Rod told him, on firmer ground now they were discussing a familiar topic. After a while he asked "Did you really sneak into the Harpies changing room to commiserate when the Tornados beat them in the final two years ago?"

"Yeah, I've always been a fan of the Tornados, but Wilda Griffiths looks just as good wearing only a towel as you'd think she does."

"Why are you here?" one of the younger kids exploded after this comment, and Harry quelled him with an intimidating glare "I just mean, you never really talk to anyone, why come here now?"

"Well all my friends are busy doing important stuff, and I was interested in finding out what happened to Ron…" Harry told the kid trying to quell his annoyance. "You know, he once helped me battle a swarm of Acromantula, and took down a massive cursed Chess Set. I _did_ know him back in the day…" Turning back to the youngest Weasley he asked "how has school been treating you? Tam not being too much of a bitch I hope?"

"Erm," he started awkwardly "yeah, fine I'm doing both the Herbology and Astronomy N.E.W.T. because I did so well on my O.W.L.s."

"Nice." Harry smiled, it was good to see the guy doing so well for himself. "I passed N.E.W.T. Artithmancy last term, so Septima… I mean _Professor_ Vector, has me studying to sit my M.U.L.E. by the end of the year."

The stilted and kind of uncomfortable conversation went on for a while, with the other students occasionally attempting to make some comment or other, but basically being weirded out by the whole thing. Eventually Tam flopped down across from him and ignored the collective greetings of 'Hello Professor Riddle' and other such foolishness.

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"I hit accidently hit Bella with something we were working on and she cannot stop singing that filthy _'If You Seek Amy'_ song Luna taught her." Tam admitted. "We decided to call it a day."

"Okay." He said, simply shrugging it off. "Any thoughts on getting Luna back by the way? I've come up with nothing."

"She's dead Harry. Gone. Why can't you just accept that?" The redhead pressed "Even if she survived, she has been in a Dimension with an Eldritch Abomination for more than half a year. It will have killed her or she would have died of starvation by now."

"She is not dead!" He stubbornly insisted, completely oblivious to the students who were listening in. "Look, I've been thinking about it. The Time-Turner must have some magic on it which forces Paradoxes out of the universe, in order to stop the world from cracking like an egg…"

With a huff Tam decided to just hear him out, it would be faster that way, and she could point out the huge flaws in whatever reasoning Harry was using. "Fine, tell me your ridiculous theory."

"Right, okay. So the Time-Turner explosion ripped open a big hole, and some kind of universe repairing monster snatched Luna and dragged her into, I dunno, a _'Hell Dimension'_ or whatever you want to call it." Harry began. "This Hell Dimension would be similar too, but distinctly different _from_, the _Daemon_ Dimension we opened up back when we were trying to kill Malfoy…"

"Okay."

"So all we have to do is come up with a way to slash a Portal to the same universe Luna is in, being careful with regards to the Temporal Axis, so the thing opens up only a few minutes or seconds _after_ she arrived."

"And we what? Kill the tentacle monster, and drag Luna back into our universe?"

"Why not?"

"Are you two mental?" Ron exploded. "Daemons, tentacle monster? What the hell, is this the kind of thing you guys do in your spare time?"

"More or less." Harry agreed, casually waving away the Griffindor's concerns. Turning back to his friend he asked. "You gonna help?"

Tam closed her eyes and seriously began contemplating bashing her head against the table a few times. After a moment she came to the realisation this gave her a little leverage. "If I help bring Luna back, will you _help me_ go through with my heist idea?"

Harry mulled over this demand a few times in careful consideration. They would piss off a whole host of people if they couldn't pull it off without a degree of finesse, and if they went through with her idea they'd make one incredibly powerful enemy. Fuck it, who was he kidding, he would probably have done it eventually anyway.

"Deal." Harry spoke first.

"Deal." Tam replied with a smile, and a measure of finality.

"But Luna first."

','

It took them nineteen years.

_Nineteen_. Harry only died three times over those nineteen years, so he was getting the hang of living more or less like a normal person, and only one of those times could be described as spectacular anyway.

Now Harry and Tam were striding side by side up this windswept mountainside, _finally_ having tracked down a legend which could help them. They were fully kitted out with the best gear they could lay their hands on, and armed with not only their brother wands of Phoenix Feather, but their backup foci which worked exactly as well as the primary.

In Tam's case it was a Gregorovich wand that appeared to be ash at first glance, but was in fact 15" of Yggdrasill with a core of Voldemort Heartstring she'd won from Hermione many years ago in a duel.

In Harry's case, his backup wand was a custom job made for him specifically, also by a former Death Eater named Gregorovich. It was 8" of Sapient Pearwood and a core of tail feather taken from the greatest and most powerful Owl in history; his old familiar Hedwig.

Even now, years later, Harry's friends occasionally had to talk him out of resorting to Time Travel in order to change what had happened to her.

Some things you just never get over. That was life unfortunately.

They entered a darkened cave and were met with a booming voice of fire and menace, echoing hollowly from the other side of a tear in the very fabric of creation. The guy sounded like he could use a lozenge, and Harry with a heroic level of restraint managed to prevent himself from saying so out loud.

"We wish to prove ourselves worthy," Tam began hastily, knowing too well that it was only a matter of time before Harry's self control failed him "should we pass your challenges we request a Portal to rescue our friend."

"It is agreed." The voice boomed, and the redhead shot another quelling look in her companion's direction.

A door of stone around 150 foot high split open and the two walked into a large arena with a moderate level of confidence. Harry already had his Vorpal Sword out, the legends had said they'd probably have to kill something. Not long after the door slammed shut a little pussycat stalked its way over to them.

"We have to kill a pussycat?" Harry asked incredulously. "The thing is tiny."

"That's not a pussycat Harry." Tam said, noticing her magic was blocked. "And it's not tiny, it's _far away_."

"Really? Oh, it has two friends, you can never have too much p-"

"They aren't pussycats, they are Nundus."

"Ah. Righty-ho then."

','

"Do we know the cure for Nundu's Breath?" Harry asked, having recently taken a big lung full of the purple mist and getting kind of worried.

"We are immune to all known poisons Harry." Tam replied tiredly, bent double and attempting to catch her breath. "We're both Parselmouths, Nundu's Breath isn't a big deal."

"People who speak Parsel are immune to poison? Since when?" Harry asked, ignoring the booming otherworldly voice, and therefore missing whatever its instructions had been.

"It's a Blood Trait. Would you please not ask stupid questions Harry, I've just killed a Nundu with my bare hands, I'm a little tired." The Strengthening Ritual she'd gone through years ago was totally worth sacrificing her crappy_'grass snake'_ animagus form, that was for sure.

"Well I killed _two_ Nundu's with my big sword, and _I'm_ not tired at all." Harry taunted, in his _'I'm cooler than you'_ voice. As a direct result of his mocking, Harry almost lost his head to the first of an army of half naked, snatching, bird creatures which were surrounding them. "Great, Harpy Ladies."

"At least we get to fly." Tam told him, as the two took to the air, utilising an ability learned from VoldePotter during the same battle as they lost Luna. It had taken them more than five years to figure out how to do it, and a further three practicing before they became all that skilled. _"Ignis Maxima!"_

The navy blue sphere of fire, hot as the surface of the sun, barely missed Harry's head as it took a Harpy right off the man's back. "Be careful where you shoot that stuff, _Ignis Maxima!_"

There was a whole flock of these purple and white feathered creatures, and their sharp, sharp claws looked kind of dangerous. Harry and Tam swooped and dived throughout the gigantic arena, superheated balls of flame being unleashed from brother wands in right hand, and backup wands in left. If you ignored the fact the monsters were mostly avian, the things were actually pretty attractive, very firm and bouncy.

It was off-putting was what it was.

"_Ignis Maxima!_ Bloody hell, there is just no end to the damn things." Harry whined, dropping into a loop the loop as Tam barrel rolled out the way of his fireball. They really weren't coordinating very well.

After a ridiculously long time spent throwing the same spell in all directions, the Harpies were all down in burnt chunks of meat. The smell was mouth watering, and had a strong semblance of roasted duck, which was totally inappropriate as Harpies were supposed to be sentient.

"Well that was easy." Tam said dryly.

Glaring beneath the burns and all the talon cuts on his face, Harry didn't reply. Just because he was better at slaying the big impressive monsters, and she had better aim, did _not_ mean Tam should rub it in his face.

"I mean. I did not even get hit once." The redhead said it in an offhand way. "How about you?"

Harry was saved from answering by the door they entered opening with a loud grating of stone on stone. They limped off, hitting one another with a broad spectrum healing charm which, for whatever reason, a person could not apply to one's own body.

Once they were through and the door swung shut, Tam and Harry found themselves face to face with a large ornate mirror. A seven foot tall serpentine figure without a nose stepped out of the absent reflection. The wizard looked to have gone through the wars, what with the scarred face and green-ish metallic arm. Neither recognised the Maple wand in the man's hand.

"W-we have to kill Voldemort again?" Harry stuttered. They were good but-, but _Voldemort_? That was not a good sign.

"At least we cannot die."

"Erm-, well you see…" Harry began, as they both started trading shots with an opponent they were not certain they could beat.

"WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING ME?" Tam shouted from behind an overcharged Bunker Shield.

"Well, er-," He trailed off, palming, dodging, and diving away from curses of unimaginable power. "I think the nature of these challenges means we…" then he just blurted "…we maybe _can_ die, y'know …a bit."

Tamsyn got a transhield between a lightning fast Killing Curse, and banishing the rubble back at her foe, decided to do something truly horrible to Harry for keeping that little titbit from her.

"I fucking hate you Harry Potter; _Sectumsempra!_"

','

"_Avada Kedavra!"_ Harry and Tam bellowed raggedly at the same instant, directly opposite from one another, with Voldemort in between. The first time they did this he ducked, and Priori Incantatem had gone into effect, but this time he was struck in the chest and face.

"Thank the gods for that" they both breathed in relief.

"Told you we wouldn't die." Harry finished, after a while spent getting his breath.

"Hey, we killed Voldemort…" Tam realised. "We really _are_ just as awesome as we claim to be."

"Champions, you have completed the Triad." The hollow voice of fire and menace declared. "What Boon do you request?"

"We already told you at the beginning," Harry shouted irreverently "we want a Portal to our friend Luna, and you've got to keep the damn thing open until we get back." Then he finished with a stern "No locking us in there!"

There was a slow build, energy of inhuman, cackling intensity, and it kept on increasing and increasing with a powerful billowing wind. Wracked from all sides the two victors braced themselves and did their best to stay on their feet, with some success. After a while the universe itself tore, ripped open to show nothing but a gaping blackness of infinite depth.

"That is the good stuff." Tam said with a smile, causing Harry to nod simply. "After you…"

They walked into the void, another world, another reality entirely, and at first there was nothing to see save darkness. Even the ground they walked on was black, with no sky or stars, or altering topography. There wasn't even any wind.

"Well this is exciting." Harry commented with all the sincerity in creation.

Tam's watch had been going haywire ever since they'd entered this plane of existence, so it was a long if indeterminate length of time later the two began hearing clattering noises in the distance. They picked the pace up to a jog and eventually came across a battle, it wasn't like they crested a rise or anything, but the darkness simply ended abruptly causing a similar effect.

"So when Luna described it as a _'Tentacle Monster,'_ she really meant _'Eldritch Abomination.'_" Tam summed up the sight, while turning green and _clearly_ holding herself from throwing up by force of will alone.

Easing his Phoenix wand in hand, Harry asked "Is it just me or does looking at it kind of hurt your _sanity_?"

She nodded, and asked "Charge?"

"Charge." He agreed.

','

"_Affligo Noctam"_

The secret was _not_ to look at the whole thing, under _any_ circumstances. Stick to smaller parts, and the flailing impossibility that was its limbs. It had also taken them long enough to discover a spell which was effective against it in any real way, given most cutting, slashing, and butchering curses were bouncing off its slimy hide.

Luna was back on the ground, hands and arms gesturing with purpose, and another one of her Seals was in place. A barrage of blue and black torpedoes started pouring out from her open hands, time and time again, splashing and bombarding the nightmarish monster at a frightening pace.

"_Affligo Noctam"_ Tam screamed a curse which was neither her usual Dark, nor Hermione's White, but one of the advanced mainstream magics Harry was so adept at using. It counterpointed Luna's attack and the black band, a jagged saw of magic, joined with Harry's identical spell, separating a few more thrashing appendages.

The battle had turned in the trespassers' favour, and a short but intense few minutes later the abomination had been chased away, out of sight and hopefully far, far away. Harry was tempted to voice _'that's the last we'll see of him,'_ but thought better of it.

Luna was in the same clothes as she'd wearing been way back when they'd fought at Châteaux Delacour, though they were mussed up and torn in quite a number of interesting ways. Luna looked exactly as Harry remembered her, and she was just as alive as he'd always said she would be. He would have gone over and said something, but the blonde woman was a little preoccupied with her own thoughts…

She seemed a touch _angry_ for some reason.

"Look, I've got the freakishly long, bright yellow hair…" Luna ranted, stomping around backwards and forwards "…the gigantic silvery eyes which don't even look realistic, and the lithe voluptuous waist, on top of the unreasonably pale skin. I'm fit and toned, and look _a lot_ **younger than I really am!**"

Their blond friend began yelling at the end of her tirade, not even yelling at them, just the unfairness of the world in general. "Erm, Luna…" Tam tried.

"And you grab me around the neck and ankles and wrists, _straight into_ your evil hell dimension. And I am **completely at your mercy!**" She was shouting again. "I mean, what the hell, you were trying to **kill me!** What's wrong with you?"

Then the apoplectic rage drained away as if never there, and she stated the only explanation which made sense in a tiny, slightly hurt voice "It's because I wasn't wearing my Japanese schoolgirl uniform wasn't it?"

Harry moved toward the friend he'd not seen in so long and gave her a comforting hug. "It's okay, it's okay, maybe next time." He whispered, patting her gently on the back.

"It's just I've been waiting _so_ long." Luna told him tearfully. "What if I never get violated by a tentacle monster Harry, what if it _never_ happens?"

The old friends simply stood there for long minutes in a close embrace, they were in no hurry now the danger had passed, and it was best to simply let the blonde woman regain her composure. Eventually they broke apart, dusted off their clothes, and took in the surroundings.

"Well now that's over with we need to figure out a way to get back to the Portal." Tam stated to the Ether.

"I believe that will be quite easy." Luna gestured over her shoulder. Each one of Tam's small footprints were lit up in red, and each on Harry's in green, clearly marking the path they'd walked on the way there. "Anymore questions?"

Tam glared at the blonde a bit, but her heart wasn't in it and the trio began the steady plodding jaunt back to the _"real"_ world. After a time Harry asked an obvious question, hoping to move the conversation along. "Why are you carrying that severed tentacle?"

"I think it will make a wonderful Wand Core."

"You do not even use a wand though Luna." Tam commented.

"Yeah, I know. But I always thought that if I _did_, I'd want one crafted from some cool and obscure material; tentacle monster for instance." Luna told them. "That way I can go around rubbing the fact I have a much more awesome wand than everyone else in people's faces."

Harry and Tam both looked down at the sticks in their left hands and winced slightly at a comment which hit annoyingly close to home. "Ah, but you'd have to have some cool obscure wood too…" Harry defensively added.

"I was thinking I'd use Valyrian Steel." The blonde responded, much to his dismay at such an awesome idea. "A metal wand. That would be even cooler than Albus' wouldn't it?"

'Damn.' Harry and Tam both thought at the same instant.

','

"So you are saying you eventually managed to defeat Voldemort without me?" Luna asked once the trio were back in the open air of the windswept mountainside. The sky was surprisingly bright so everyone was wearing some retro sunglasses to make vision easier.

"We actually had to defeat a reflection of him again earlier today as one of the Challenges required to open the Portal." Tam told her.

Tilting her head to the side Luna asked "How did you do it originally if you don't mind telling me?"

"Hermione got a second Blood Protection Guardian, when I'd suckered Voldemort into killing me…" Harry started "…and we captured his noncorporeal form, basically injected him into a baked potato, and I ate him."

Luna couldn't suppress a snort. "Time travel was the best thing I ever did. There is nobody else on Earth who would come up with something as off the wall as that." Striding confidently down the nonexistent path she asked. "Out of interest, did you end up killing Severus?"

Harry groaned and Tam couldn't stop a cackle of amusement.

"He's married to my aunt."

"Petunia… Snape?" Luna stated, blankly staring at the distance for a while as she processed this. "That's just too funny." Then proceeded to crack up herself. Pulling herself together the blonde eventually pressed "but you know the truth though?"

"About Lupin?" The raven haired man asked "Yeah. Snape was too helpful in ending the war though, and it was so ambiguous we just gave him a pass."

"Siri wouldn't have liked that."

"No, I had this whole murdering a Simulacrum with Padfoot idea, but Snape never went for it." Harry said.

"Fifteen is pretty close to the age of consent, it's not like the man did anything you'd kill anyone for though…" Tam tried to offer the voice of reason "…I lost my virginity at _twelve_ for crying out loud."

"Wait. You think he killed Remus because he slept with an almost fifteen year old Slytherin girl?" Harry asked his brother. "That was a thinly veiled excuse at best. Snape killed him because the opportunity came up, and he thought he could get away with it."

"I lost my virginity before I turned fifteen, Harry." Luna told him "So did you."

"But he was a Professor," Tam stated "it was an abuse of power." When her two companions gave her incredulous looks of disbelief she simply admitted "What? I love hypocrisy, deal with it."

They trudged further down the mountain.

Eventually Harry just said "It doesn't even matter, that was all years and years ago, and I promised to give him a pass so it's not like I'm going to do anything now… Besides, he's married to my aunt Petunia, that's gotta count as ironic punishment or something."

They were only about a quarter mile from the edge of the archaic Apparition Net, so the walk wouldn't take too much longer.

"Years and years?" Luna asked. "How long ago did I kill Helga?"

"Oh, erm…" Harry trailed off a touch embarrassed. "…coming up on twenty years ago this spring."

"Twenty _years_?" She choked. Doing the maths in her head, and working out the various timelines, Luna came to a conclusion. "Can I borrow some money? I have something time dependent to do."

"Time dependant after two decades?" Tam asked.

"Yeah, I might have to alter someone's memory and perhaps kill their wife, but I need gold to purchase clothes and a few other things."

Harry reached for his wallet and pulled out a small bag from the magically expanded space. "That's only fifty Galleons."

"More than enough, and I'll pay you back." Luna said, taking the gold with a thankful smile.

They trio passed the Apparition Net, and just before Luna cracked away Harry called "It's the first in three days, will you try to meat us at King's Cross?"

"No problem." There was a muted _pop_ and Luna was gone.

','

High necked t-shirt, which on closer inspection was almost transparent, tiny skirt that was only decent thanks to parallax error, and hair tied high and back showing off her jawline and the nape of her neck; Luna looked one part trampy, and all kinds of salacious.

In the end she'd not been forced to murder or Memory Charm anyone, for which she was quite thankful. It was two days since her rescue and she was in a large bookshop in the magical section of Manchester, the predictably named Eturn Alley. After a little bit of spellwork and some heavy lifting, two of the stacks in the back of the shop were subtly closer together.

After two hours staking out the magical creatures section a tall blonde man came in and began browsing the shelves. Quite by accident, when the two had been attempting to pass one another, Luna and the man found themselves pressed up against each other in an embarrassingly intimate manner.

"Oh, excuse me Miss…" The blonde man said, attempting to ignore the hand firmly pressed up against his crotch, and the feel of the woman's rock hard nipples digging into his chest.

"Oh, I am so sorry." Luna said distractedly. She was noticeably failing to rectify the embarrassing situation. Eyes lighting up in realisation Luna gasped "You are Rolf Scamander aren't you?" The rubbing and close contact got worse as the blonde woman unsuccessfully attempted to shake his hand. "I read your article in Magizoology Digest."

"Erm, really?" The man, Rolf Scamander, said lamely. Close proximity to the strange girl was causing him blood flow issues.

"Yes really." She said happily. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Luna Lovegood-Scamander. I am a time traveller, and you and I are married."

"What?"

"Look Rolf, I have recently been rejected kind of brutally." _By a sexy, betentacled, Eldritch Horror no less_ "You should offer to buy me coffee and we can go have a big old pile of crazy monkey sex for the next few hours."

"What?"

The poor man didn't stand a chance.

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On the first of September 2016 Harry Potter was standing on Platform 9 and ¾ with the spectacular part magical creature Fleur Delacour wrapped around him in a piggyback. She'd lost the bet and decorum be damned. Fleur had once again refused to dye her hair red as a forfeit and Harry began to nurse the suspicion that she _knew_, on some level at least, that _actually_ colouring her hair would make him disappointed in her.

He was surrounded as he usually was by his closest friends and family, a horde of kids running around, and people pointing and looking at his group, holding whispered conversations discussing whether that really was _The_ Hermione Granger.

_With a pleasant smile on his face Harry moved over to a light-blonde couple and their eleven year old son. "Good morning Draco, Astoria, what a pleasant day." Astoria nodded in a guarded way and Harry turned to the youngest Malfoy. "Hello, little Scorpius. My what big green eyes you have."_

"_Yes, my mother tells me I take after my maternal grandfather." Scorpius said in cultured tones, running fingers through his messy black hair._

"Avada Kedavra!" _Harry yelled at the top of his lungs, causing Lord Malfoy to fall dead to the floor, and Harry to laugh loudly "Bwahahaha! Dark Lord Potter triumphs once again."_

"Harry?" Someone shook him a little as they said this, and his mind returned to the present. "Harry, you were miles away."

"Sorry, pleasant thoughts y'know?" He blinked a few times and looked over to see the kid didn't really have green eyes and messy black hair at all. "Very pleasant."

"Who are all these children?" Luna asked him again. "Wait, you guys decided to _breed_? Weird."

"Yeah, a friggin' swarm of the damn things. We even hassled Albus into siring an Heir, the two ginger kids are Ariana and Aszrael Dumbledore." He informed his friend, and looked toward the shaggy blonde haired man who looked positively ghastly. As though he'd been through something he wasn't quite ready for the previous night. "It seemed best to have them all at the same time. Thomas Riddle is starting fifth year and a couple of mine have already graduated."

"Okay," Luna said, simply taking this in stride "the shell shocked man to my left is my husband Rolf if you're interested."

"This is the guy Helga killed in the old timeline?"

"Yeah."

"You were **married** Luna?" Fleur shouted in his ear with surprise and Harry winced. "Je demande pardon mon amour."

Harry let the woman who was definitely NOT his wife down and went in search of this year's newest addition to Hogwarts. He passed a few families he halfway recognised, several crowds of people who looked at him with various states of wariness, and one outright comment about not having enough health insurance to be on the same platform as him.

"How are you feeling Calypso?" Harry asked the eleven year old platinum blonde who looked the splitting image of her mother. "Excited?"

Little Miss Delacour split off from the conversation she'd been having with her cousins and gave him a hug. "Yes, and a little scared maybe, but I have been looking forward to this for so long. It will be fun."

"That it will." Harry said ruffling her hair. "I had to give up your surname to keep you out of Beauxbatons, so I hope you enjoy yourself." Absorbing that little titbit the girl eventually just smiled. "Now, what have I told you to remember?"

"Don't abuse the Dark Arts until forth year."

"Right…"

"If I duel anyone I better win."

"Good…"

"Don't catch pregnancy."

"And most important of all?"

"If the opportunity comes up, and I think I can get away with it, I am to kill Scorpius Malfoy."

"That's my girl." Harry said with a proud smile. "Get on the train, you're going to be late."

Calypso ran off with a bounce, and he stood there just watching in silence for long minutes. Eventually the train rounded a corner and the last trace of steam evaporated in the autumn air, Harry was about to make some kind of inane comment or other when Tam interrupted his thoughts.

"Five Galleons she's named Calypso Malfoy within ten years."

"You do not even fucking joke about something like that!"

"Five Galleons I can convince her to name her firstborn son Harry Malfoy." Hermione sniped, making things worse.

"You two are **not** funny." Harry stated firmly.

"Five Galleons I can convince her, the middle name should be in honour of young Draco's godfather." Albus said, getting in on the action.

"I hate all of you so much!"

','

Lens of Sanity  
Poor Luna, she finally gets kidnapped by a tentacle monster, and it isn't interested. _Worse_, the thing tries to **kill** her, bummer. Better luck next time blondie … Oh, btw, Luna has been married the whole time, did I not mention that? A great bonus being a _female_ time traveller, you don't have to work very hard to seduce the significant other who has never met you.

And they all lived happily ever after until the end of their days…  
…Yeah, not so much.

You can't honestly believe I'd end _this (Beyond the Impossible) story_ with a King's Cross scene?

…

Let's crank the Epilogue _up to eleven_ shall we?


	37. Epilogue: A Heist that Changed the World

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I've read and re-posted each Chapter before uploading this, so it's been scrubbed a little but probably still has all the hallmarks of a self beta ... Going through it again, I think the Fic came out much better than it should have. And OMG, how many fight scenes!

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An Old and New World  
by Lens of Sanity

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Epilogue: A Heist that Changed the World

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_Rome  
Friday the 1st of May 1998_

A man of average height, with unkempt hair, and an insolent look of self-assurance on his face was escorted into a huge auditorium. Wearing a magically limiting choker around his neck and magically limiting shackles around his wrists, he was escorted by a burly Auror on each arm, and four more following close behind, wands raised threateningly to his back.

Nobody was expecting the man to attempt escape, as he had never made a single move to do so in all the time since his arrest, but he was a high profile target, and as such not the kind of person with which they would take unnecessary chances.

The room was jam packed with people. Some in attendance were richer than others, some more famous, of differing cultures, backgrounds and upbringings. Some were present for entertainment, others justice, and still more in attendance for no reason they could honestly claim to know themselves.

The man had been brought across thousands of miles to be here, the centre of magic, and the sprawling core of the world's magical government; the International Confederation of Wizards, or more commonly known by its acronym the ICW.

With dishevelled hair and cheeky look on his face still firmly in place, the man was shepherded to an imposing chair in the middle of the room, and firmly pushed down only to be locked in place by yet more magically limiting cords. The man could not help a small smile, which was witnessed by all those in attendance. A stately woman on her raised dais stood and cleared her throat before beginning to speak.

"We are gathered here today, the first of May 1998, for the sentencing of Harry James Potter for all of his numerous crimes."

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_L1 LaGrange between Beta Gabriel and its Moon, Epsilon Eridani System  
Thursday the 15th of Malfoy 54'855 New Byzantine Calendar_

A man far short of the average two meters was escorted into a hastily constructed Imperial Courtroom at the point of fifteen glowing plasma rifles. They'd been tracking this fucker for more than six hundred years, and were not going to let him slip through their fingers by giving him too much time to be rescued or escape on his own.

Yet they had to do it legally, so the protocol must be followed.

The bastard had a grin on his face like this whole thing was going exactly as planned, and this was unnerving the High Conciliator more than he would ever allow himself to express. Marshalling himself and looking over at the nine lesser members of the Establishment, the High Conciliator held in an apprehensive breath.

The cocky man with distinctive emerald eyes was brutally forced into the restraints of the throne-like chair in the middle of the room by a tough looking Marine with buzzcut tiger stripe hair. The Marine was heavily scared and his bulging muscles were clearly twitching in the hopes he'd get to personally strangle the man now held restrained and at their mercy.

The High Conciliator could not really fault this attitude, given the heinous nature of the crimes the man stood charged. With a deep bracing breath he stood and began to mete out some justice at long last.

"Harry James Potter, you stand accused of the following crimes against the Establishment."

','

_Back in Rome, a long, long time ago._

"Eighty four counts of using the Cruciatus Curse on a fellow human being, twelve counts of the Killing Curse, and five counts of the Imperius Curse." The stately woman read off in an even voice.

"I had a Licence." Harry pointed out reasonably.

"Sixty six counts of breaching the Statute of Secrecy."

"That's what Obliviators are for."

"One hundred and eight counts of assault on Ministry Personnel, both in Great Britain and France, as well as the United States of America."

"Those were all self defence."

"Attacking the Heir of an Ancient and Noble House in broad daylight."

"He was being a jerk."

"Kidnapping the daughter of a French diplomat."

"That was a misunderstanding."

"Five times."

"Heh," Harry laughed accidently.

The stately woman paused on hearing this and glared menacingly at the shackled seventeen year old. It was difficult enough getting through the gigantic list of crimes if the boy kept making comments and rationalisations, nevermind openly showing his amusement. They weren't even halfway through the list, and the woman simply lifted the parchment to continue, attempting as she did so to ignore the cavalier attitude.

"Practicing magic of the types in direct violation of International Conventions; specifically the creation of eleven Simulacrums, and nineteen counts of ordering the application of Fiendfyre in an uncontrolled environment."

"It's just fire." He muttered "What's the big deal?"

"One count of Slavery." The woman glowered at him again.

"Bella _likes_ being a slave!" He blurted on noticing the woman was subconsciously waiting for him to comment.

"Assassinating a citizen of the United States, and bartering the man's head with the Vampire Clans."

"He was a racist prick."

"Two counts of Grand Theft Auto, seven counts of Carjacking, nine counts of driving without a licence, nine counts of totalling law enforcement vehicles and resisting arrest."

"How was I supposed to know _all cars_ have blind spots?"

The woman reading out all this information was forced to pause and rub her temples for a while. The boy wasn't even supposed to talk, and she wasn't allowed to authorise a gag because of his status as Head of an Ancient House. None of this was helping with her blossoming headache.

"Fifty four counts of Mugglebaiting, eighty eight counts of ordering Muggle memories to be altered by someone other than a licensed Obliviator."

"If you can do it why should you need a license?"

"One count of premeditated murder of a fourteen year old."

"What who?" Harry spluttered.

"A Miss Luna Lovegoo-"

"Oh, right, yeah okay."

"Using a child as your airship's power source."

"It was practically dead anyway."

"Crimes against the Goblin Nation; specifically the robbing of Gringotts Wizarding Bank, and the forging of Valyrian Steal in direct violation of the Goblin Treaty of 1659."

Harry just smiled at those charges, stupid Goblins.

"Utilising terror tactics."

"I bought a little girl an ice cream." Harry protested. "How is that considered terror tactics?"

"You kidnapped Astoria Greengrass from her Ancestral Home!" The woman snapped. "Owling Barron Greengrass an article about which flavours of ice-cream you and his daughter enjoy most counts as terror tactics."

"Fine, I still think tutti frutti is the best though, none of that vanilla crap."

"Setting off an Atomic Bomb."

"Found out about that one did you?" Harry asked in interest. "You should probably add international arms dealing, and profiting from the proceeds of a crime to the list as well."

"Here is my personal favourite." The stern woman said, scowling at the parchment. "Negotiating a treaty with a sitting monarch _without_ the authorisation of an elected official, member of the Confederation of Wizards, or affiliate of the Federation of Warlocks."

"Liz is cool." Harry waved it off "You know, she didn't even know of the existence of magic until Scrimgeour told her?"

"The theft of forty four children's pelvises from Midhurst Grammar School, Sussex."

"We needed Virgin Bone, the eleven year olds don't even remember it, nor the Skele Gro because we made great efforts to keep them all Stunned." Harry whispered quietly. That one actually sounded pretty bad when it was said out loud.

"Category One Necromancy. _Category One!_" The woman spat. "Should I call you Magister Potter?"

"No, you're good. I don't like that title."

"Causing an Exodus Class temporal explosion and risking a Daemon Incursion."

"That was an accident."

"Causing a Daemon Incursion."

"Okay, that one wasn't an accident."

"Spelling Muggle weapons in direct violation of the 1803 ICW Accords for magical practice."

"That should technically be two counts." Harry said helpfully. "I have an M2 Browning with similar charms on it."

The woman was now fighting an outright headache, the kind which pounds at the back of a person's eyes, and wouldn't be easily shifted even with Pain Relievers. Nevertheless, the list was almost complete, so she decided to just push through.

"Creating a Homunculus or Blood Anchor."

"Damn End of Line Clause, you don't expect me to get married and fire out a bunch of kids just because of some stupid family magic, do you?"

"Three counts of ordering an unborn child into a Squib _without_ the Squib's consent."

"Heh," Harry blurted a laugh again.

"Hiring an assassin and consorting with wanted criminals."

Harry shrugged. At least he'd got the Korean his extra six hundred Galleons before being horribly murdered by the man.

"Interfering with the Hedwig Accord, and the attempted murder of one of the signatories."

"A good name that."

"And lastly, nine hundred and seventy five counts of copyright infringement."

"Each and every one of those similarities is a coincidence." He defended. "They were all my own original creations."

The woman paused and eyed him for the longest time. After a while she started to become a little unnerved by the cheerful attitude in the face of these pretty damning charges. Hundreds upon hundreds of Magicals were present for this trial, and thousands more were doubtlessly listening in on the Wireless. It would have been known as the _Trial of the Century_ had Gellert Grindelwald's trial not happened only fifty three years ago, and so the stern woman gave herself a moment of contemplation before she finished…

"Do you have anything to say in defence of your actions?" She asked.

"It is against my policy to apologise for hilarious crimes I'm afraid." He answered.

"You are aware we are only neglecting to name you a Dark Lord at the behest of Hermione Granger?"

"I'm a Dark Lord?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Daemon Summoning and destroying an entire city at a single stroke," the stern woman prompted "those are rather emblematic _Acts_ of Greatest Evil. Coupled this with the fact you have an Escort Guard who carries your Dark Mark."

"Oh." Harry said lamely. "I never thought of that."

"So do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"No, not really. I am actually guilty of pretty much all of those charges." He stated. "I don't feel the least bit bad about any of it either."

"As you were attempting to battle a Dark Lord at the time, and for your support of Hermione Granger in her defeat of Lord Voldemort, we will not sentence you have your soul destroyed by Dementors." The stern woman let out a long breath. "For crimes against magic, and by my authority as acting Supreme Mugwump, I hereby pronounce you to be executed by method of Killing Curse this evening of May 1st 1998."

"Ah well," Harry said with a wide smile "we all gotta go sometime."

','

_Back floating in the LaGrange point of a distant Planet, a long, long time in the future._

"Stealing War Minister Ahkna's private yacht, and crashing it into a docking ring."

"How was I supposed to know it had a Footprint Engine?"

"Seducing a member of the Sisters of Chastity."

"Hey, _she_ came onto me."

"Replacing the ozone layer Telliom-8 will a cheap substitute."

"I gave it back less than a month later… well most of it."

"Infiltration and subsequent destruction of the Peace Moon." The man scowled hatefully reading that one, the single greatest setback in the Establishment's entire history. "You even stole the Blueprints, and deleted the hard copies."

"You can't prove it though." Harry told the High Conciliator with a broad grin.

The man was visibly fighting back a truly vicious headache by this point, and the irreverence Harry was treating these incredibly serious charges with was hardly making things easy on him. It was just a shame the Compacts prevented the accused from being gagged, meaning there was nothing to be done, and so the High Conciliator simply went back to reading the charges.

"Freeing the Banik slave race."

"I lost a bet."

"Line theft. More specifically making sure one of your descendants is next in line for the throne of the Hynerian Empire."

"Little Lily wanted to be a princess." Harry put in. "It was a birthday present."

"Eighty five counts of Sedition and conspiracy to commit mayhem."

"Mayhem? Man that sounds cool."

"Impersonating a member of the Clergy."

"I was trying to talk my way out of a parking ticket."

"One count of Regicide."

"What? Who?"

"Sikozu the Viscountess of-," The man reading his list began with a snarl.

"Nevermind," Harry interrupted. "I know who you mean."

The growl he let loose would have terrified any normal person listening to it, but Harry simply waved for the overly stressed man to continue, smiling pleasantly the whole time. As the list only contained a few remaining lines the High Conciliator simply pushed to end it.

"Breaking the stockade on Harvest Colony."

"They needed power and medical supplies. I guess no good deed goes unpunished."

"Theft of the Harvest Colony Birthstone."

"Okay, so maybe it wasn't _completely_ altruistic."

"And finally, but not least of your crimes, ten thousand and forty four counts of copyright infringement."

"Despite the similarities, all of those are coincidences." Harry told the strangely angry man, offering a firm nod to underscore his seriousness.

"In my capacity of High Conciliator I hereby pronounce you guilty of all these charges, as well as a danger to organised society." The man spoke loudly from his raised position in the Imperial Courtroom. "You do not get a last request, nor are you offered the opportunity to explain your actions …this I declare."

"This legal system seems kind of barbaric." Harry commented over the top of a gavel's thumping.

"You are sentenced to death by firing squad, today Thursday the 15th of Malfoy 54'855, in our station near Beta Gabriel."

The muscle bound Marines dragged him to his feet and hustled him across the room, to the far and presumably reinforced wall. Fifteen glowing Plasma Rifles were aimed at his chest and head, and just before they introduced his body to temperatures the likes of which one would find on a Saturday morning jaunt across the surface of a star, Harry spoke:

"Even after all this time I _still_ can't believe that bastard has a month named after him."

There was a bright flaring and everything went dark.

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_London (the ridiculously distant past)  
Saturday the 2nd of May 1998_

"If I become a Dark Lord that means I could _really_ go for that whole Dark Harem idea Luna came up with." Harry said to Tam as the two walked through the Ministry of Magic building side by side. They passed the security guard who seemed surprised to see them for some reason, and strolled confidently toward the lift. "_And_ I'd even be able to kill Draco Malfoy without worrying about the ethics of the situation."

"We could take over the world I guess…" Tam hit the button for Level 2 and the doors shut with a soft _'Bong' _noise, they were quite for a while listening to the ruffling of paper aeroplanes, and the redhead eventually finished. "Getting Hermione to sign off on it would be pretty difficult though."

"And ruling the world sounds like a full time job anyway." Harry pointed out.

"I suppose once we had taken over and declared ultimate victory, we could split our forces in half and fight each other." Tam mused idly.

"OOooo…" The dark haired man said "…I really like that idea. Dibs on Kamchatka."

"You want Kamchatka?" The redheaded woman asked in surprise. "Not the United States or China?"

"Nar, you can have the big countries, I'll take Guam and still win."

"Hmm."

"We could sell it as a _'Benevolent Plan of World Optimisation,'_ Hermione might go for that."

"Maybe." Tam allowed with a shrug. "We have Luna to rescue and my heist to complete first though."

The doors of the lift opened slowly and the two walked through several corridors and into the large Chamber which was used for Wizengamot sessions, twin Senating Beards firmly in place. The room was filled with the other forty nine Lords, Ladies, Barons, and Baronesses, the Chief Warlock, and basically everyone who held a vote in the legislative branch of the British Magical government.

"You're dead!" One of the Wizengamot members shouted from his seat, the same man which always seemed to talk first and force Harry to get on with whatever he was about.

"Who the hell are you anyway?" Harry asked "You are the only member of this organisation who ever seems to talk."

"That's Baron Parkinson Harry." Padfoot shouted from his seat on the other side of the room.

"Really?" He said in surprise. "Hey, I know your daughter."

"I am aware of that."

"She doesn't like me very much."

"No she does not." Parkinson agreed. "Doesn't change the fact you are supposed to be dead."

"Actually, the ICW was careless enough to sentence me to be hit with a Killing Curse." Harry told him with a smirk. "And being as I am, the sexy Boy-Who-Lived, I am immune to that curse." There was some grumbling, and outright hostility but Harry pressed on. "Even better, I can't be charged for the same crimes twice, so there is nothing anyone can do about it. _HA!_"

What a fucking great plan, even if Harry said so himself. There had been some rumours saying Harry Potter could survive his death, but they were just that; _rumour_. Only twelve people actually _knew_ about the Rebirths, everyone else simply assumed he'd been injured and healed. Or, in the case of the public Funeral back in 1996, they believed Harry to have faked his death as part of some deep plan or other. Pretending immunity to the _Avada Kedavra_ curse was more or less believable also, due to the stories bandied about in his youth describing Harry Potter as a super hero.

"So what are we voting on today?" Harry asked the Wizengamot with an irritating smile perfectly reminiscent of Gilderoy Lockheart.

','

_The Caravel of Caerbannog (a couple of weeks after Calypso started Hogwarts)  
Monday the 12th of September 2016_

Luna walked into the main room to a sight of Harry and Bellatrix reading a piece of parchment and chuckling to themselves. The airship was winging its way through Belgium on track to their destination in north eastern France. She hadn't exactly gotten used to how much older all of her friends were now, and assumed it to be similar to how they must have reacted following the success of her time travelling plan.

"What's going on?" The blonde asked to the laughing pair.

"Calypso sent us a letter and she's ranting on about how bloody irritating her Muggleborn dorm mate is acting all the time." Harry told her. "_Oh, isn't it wonderful, isn't it magical. Of course it's bloody magical, we are in a MAGIC school you stupid bint._" He quoted from the page.

Luna smiled at this mental image. "What house did she end up in?"

"Ravenclaw."

"Ah, the _best_ house, good girl."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Harry said. "She's talking about trying to convince Thomas to ask his snake to eat the girl, but I don't think she's all that serious about it."

"Thomas has a snake?"

"Yeah, one of those viper hybrids Tam knows how to breed. Like that bitch Nagini."

"You cannot expect my familiar to be a run of the mill snake can you?" Tam asked as she walked into the room. "Nagini bites and crushes, and has super intelligence. Just because she doesn't like you does not mean she isn't awesome."

Harry finished the letter and put it away carefully. After a short while just hanging around and waiting he unnecessarily asked. "Have you finished all of the last minute preparations?"

"For the last time yes!" Tam stated shortly. "I've been planning this thing for almost twenty bloody years! I know what I'm doing."

"And you are sure you want to help Luna?" The green eyed man asked.

"Of course, I even ran it by Hermione to see if she would mind or not."

Everyone's eyes bulged at this announcement. "W-what?" Harry asked.

"You told Hermione?" Tam exploded. "_Why_?"

"Was I not supposed to?"

"Hell no! We were going to tell her _after_ we stole the thing so she wouldn't stop us." Then Harry finished with an awful realisation. "She's standing right behind us isn't she?"

"Yes I am Harry." Hermione said without preamble.

"Fuck!" Tam and her brother swore shortly. Tam simply turned to the beautiful brunette woman and tried to reason with her. "This is a great idea Hermione. It is not like we are stealing it just for ourselves?"

"You are stealing a man's life's work." Hermione insisted. "How could you possibly think I'd be okay with that?"

"We are going to fence it to the whole world." Harry protested. "Although, obviously we intend to change the name, marketing reasons you know."

"What are you changing the name to Harry?" Luna asked with interest.

"A draught of Elysium spring water, or maybe just Elysium Spring Water." Harry said, neatly sidestepping Hermione's ire. "It was from Fleur's favourite children's story, Atlantis and all that."

"That does sound gorgeous." The blonde commented, over the top of Hermione and Tamsyn's argument.

"WHY DO YOU THINK THE MAN HAS NEVER HAD ANY KIDS?" Tam screamed in frustration. Suppressing a scowl the brunette took a deep breath and nodded for -what was basically her husband- to continue. "The thing is blood red because he and his wife _killed_ their three children and sacrificed the ability to have more, in order to create the thing." Tam said slowly "That makes them fair game for robbing."

"Is that true?"

Harry jumped in with "Yeah, it's an immortality thing, a high price, with life coming from death."

"You still have no right to it." Hermione said, but they could see she was wavering.

"He is hoarding the greatest accomplishment in human history for his personal use alone." Tam stated.

"And you intend to sell the Elixir?"

"At, or just above cost." Harry agreed. "We're not total bastards."

"So it's full circle?" Hermione stated after a long time lost in thought "We're going up against an Evil Wizard to rescue a Philosopher's Stone?"

','

_GSO around Jericho VII, Lambda Serpentis System (A long-ass time since they robbed Nicolas Flamel)  
Monday the 26th of Malfoy 54'855 New Byzantine Calendar_

Harry clicked off his Nav computer and was once again annoyed with the slogan which played each and every time he logged off the thing: 'Thank you for using Malfoy deep space systems; Malfoy a name you can trust.'

"The etymology of the word _means_ Bad Faith!" Harry grumbled at the fading screen. "Why am I the only one who notices this?" He finished aloud, once again bemoaning the missed opportunity to kill him all those years ago.

He parked the stolen corvette and set some basic security around the ship before exiting to stretch his legs. Tam said they'd meet up here after she revived him, and he could really use a drink. Harry couldn't believe those incompetent arseholes had actually captured him, he must be getting sloppy.

About two hours later he strolled into a bar named the Cassini Division, meaning whoever owned the place either once lived in, or had family who still called Sol their home system. Spotting a familiar mass of auburn hair, Harry walked over and sat next to the man, casually ordering an intoxicant.

"How've you been Albus?" Harry asked after downing the neon green drink in a single practiced motion. "It has been ninety years on my timeline."

"One hundred and five on mine." Albus said with a smile. "And I have been good Harry. You are looking well."

"Yeah, I got killed again a couple of days ago."

"Two hundred and seventy five on my timeline." Tamsyn said, ordering the same drink as Harry and taking a seat herself.

"You do not travel enough." Dumbledore chastised the redhead. "Travel is good for the soul."

"She only has around thirty percent of a soul though." Harry pointed out for no other reason than to annoy her.

"All the more reason to do more travelling." Albus said with twinkling eyes.

"Your mother says to get back to Sol once in a while Harry, she misses you." Tam informed him. "There, I promised that would be the first thing I told you."

"Gah, I hate being that deep in Alliance Territory." He replied. "Why can't she come to the Outer Rim or the Free Systems?"

Tam simply shrugged. "We are within Establishment Boarders right now, those guys are much worse than the Alliance."

"Yeah, but I was only here passing through. I guess I _should_ get back to Earth occasionally."

A few minutes later the final friendly face arrived.

"Well looky here," Luna said striding in with a grin "who else but the Masters of Death themselves."

"We need to get you a fourth Hallow Luna." Harry said after shaking his head. "So you can be one of the cool kids like us." The he thought through the woman's statement and looked to Dumbledore "Hey, you got the Elder Wand back! I'm glad, there was just something _wrong_ with a guy named Stan Thompson being Master of the Deathstick."

"Eighteen months." The blonde said to the unasked question when the others looked at her.

"Whoa, really?" Tam asked in amazement. "Where the hell did you go?"

"I was on Caerbannog trying to map the Water Snake Wormholes, and I kind of…" she hesitated "…fell in."

"So you've been flying flat out trying to get back?" Harry laughed "That's too funny."

The four companions set about talking and drinking, and basically catching up on what they'd missed since they'd last been together. They didn't visit often enough, and with all the problems with interstellar travel and time dilation, sometimes quite a lot can happen to one person, while hardly anything would happen to another. Luna for instance had virtually nothing new to add since the last time they'd met up.

"No Bellatrix?" Luna asked.

"She's in Storm Cage."

"What did she do this time?" Albus asked.

"Accidently ate an xtarin Colony Ship." Harry said with a sigh. "It wasn't even really her fault."

"How can a person _eat_ a Colony Ship?" Tam asked.

"Oh, well the xtarins reproduce with a cloud of spores, and they use biomechanoid technology…" Harry began "…it was hardly Bella's fault the thing was the size of a grapefruit and smelled like cat food." It was a downside to having a feline form Harry supposed. "I was actually on my way to break her out when I got captured… No Hermione?"

"Urg," Tam said "she's taken another bloody Apprentice, and I just couldn't be bothered dealing with it."

"Yeah, I got a Wave about that on the way here, some little kid who is supposed to be a genius or something…" Luna said trying to remember the details. "…Catherine Halsey, the current _'next Hermione Granger'_ right?"

They went back to their drinks for a while, with each of the four contemplating all they had gone through together over the long centuries since the mass production and widespread use of Elysium Spring Water, way back at the very beginning. It was funny to think sometimes that human beings had once died of old age… frankly the very idea now seemed ludicrous in the extreme.

"I do have a question Harry." Albus asked eventually. "Remember years ago when you insulted the Sangheili First Councillor?"

"That was an accident. I didn't know I was talking about one of his wives." He protested.

"No, I know that." Albus waved it off. "They sent one of their Arbiters after you remember? I was just wondering how you survived the glassing of Sigma Octanus IV, because I _know_ you were still on the surface when it happened."

Harry and Tam shared a smile at this, he tapped his old, and extremely useful scar. "I have a sub dermal nanopolymer running through my forehead. Tam designed it, the thing can and has survived being thrown into a sun."

"Although getting it _out_ of that sun had been a total bitch on my end." Tam said with a faux long-suffering sigh.

"No harder than me tracking down your Shade form when those smugglers jettisoned you twelve parsecs out from the Kessel Run." He voiced in rebuttal. "Have any of you seen Fleur lately?" Harry asked quickly to change the subject. "I haven't seen her since she handcuffed me to a cargo ship full of watermelons and told me she never wanted to see me again… that was about, four hundred years ago."

"I ran into her in the Outer Rim around two years ago, but she was busy with something so we didn't really get to talk." Dumbledore informed him. "I am sure your wife would have asked me to send her best."

"She's NOT my..." He began, before taking a deep breath. "...Look, if she were my wife she would be named Fleur Potter, which is a stupid sounding name." Harry said this for the two hundred thousandth time, with everyone ignoring him as was usual. Eventually he voiced his musings "I'll go hunt her down after I finish up with Bella I think."

"Why do you think she even _wants_ you to track her down?" Tam asked. "I met this guy once and he told me something which reminded me of you and Fleur. He said; _'When a woman, whether she's a wife, a lover, or a slave you've purchased to be a wife or lover, leaves you repeatedly… take the hint.'_"

"Nar, Fleur is just as **In Like** with me as I am with her. She is _banking_ on my eventually going after her."

"How can you know that for certain though?" Tam asked, ignoring the 'In Like' phrasing with the ease of long practice.

"Oh, simple." Harry said as though it were obvious. "When she left she took my awesome Dragon Leather boots with her." That actually made a twisted kind of sense, but they would probably have descended into pointless bickering regardless, if not for a bright silvery Mongoose coalescing right in front of the four, directly on top of the bar. They both raised their eyebrows as the Patronus began to talk.

"Erm-, hi you guys…" The Mongoose began tentatively. That was one of the great things about Patronus messaging, they didn't act like a recorded message, but displayed both emotion and meaning of the caster when the message was sent. "…how have you all been?" Hermione's voice inquired stupidly and kind of trailed off.

This was interesting.

New even.

"I-I, I suppose I should just say it really…" the Mongoose picked up its train of thought "…my projection said you four would all be in the same place when you got this message, and I sort of need a little help…" Hermione trailed off again. "…you see I may have made a small, _tiny_, mistake, and I got in a little over my head. So I really need your help…"

He didn't know why but Harry just couldn't stop a smile from breaking across his face.

"Well you see, in my spare time, I have been following an ancient trail… you know, for fun." Hermione's voice said, beating around the bush more than necessary "It was like a treasure hunt, and there were ever so many warnings, but I thought, there could be no harm, if I was careful…" Hermione's voice informed them all haltingly.

"I wonder what she's done." Luna marvelled in a scandalised tone.

"I discovered the trail of long dead Atlantis many years ago, and have been following it in my spare time… only when I finally got there I sort of, accidentally… _unleashed an ancient army of fiery shadowed bone demons_." The Patronus blurted that last quickly. "It's not that bad, I managed to seal them away for the next hundred or so years, but they are eventually going to break through and I really really really need your help to fight them before they destroy Earth."

The Mongoose vanished and the Masters of Death and their unofficial mascot member all downed a drink before looking at one another.

"After all these years Hermione _finally_ screwed up." Harry voiced their thoughts in amazement.

"Well if a Princess needs rescuing?"

"Who are we to turn her down?"

This was going to be fun.

Yippee-Kai-Yay

','

Lens of Sanity  
If nothing else you gotta admit the ending has **scale**. And yes, I totally have Less Wrong's back on this one… the idea human beings die of old age is the single _stupidest_ thing I've ever heard. Earth's biosphere supports 12.5B, but there is a lot of space out there begging to be explored … The words and names used in the futuristic bit were from no single universe, more an amalgam of at least Star Wars, Farscape, Dr Who, Firefly, and my favourite Halo.

I think the relative timelines makes sense if you assume dilation only happens at sub-light speeds, and that FTL works off some alternate physics (SF-Space for instance). This way they'd age at different rates, but could still get back to Hermione in under 150yrs. Or if you're not into the science of space travel, ignore it.

Erm, well there you go, story over...

Also, maybe think of this as kind of an Odd Ideas Fic, only instead of a bunch of Plots which can be turned into full-length stories, I've cobbled together a bunch of Plot Elements for you to use. Tamsyn Riddle? The Runic Array and Lily? The Founders? Time-Travel in the middle of a story? From a none time traveller's perspective? Repeated character deaths? Seriously, Copy/Paste the descriptions if you want. I'm looking forward to seeing this stuff hopefully crop up now and again in other stories…

…

Many, many children were harmed during the writing of this story, and animals abducted from a thousand zoos were tortured and killed during its completion. In all honesty Earth's panda population is unlikely to ever recover.


End file.
